About Last Night: Survivor, Models of the Runway, Olympics

Last night on TV, an Olympian was robbed, a bunch of models tried to intellectually keep up with a bunch of little girls, and Schoonie hates James.

Survivor: Schoonie

Oh my God, I HATE JAMES SO MUCH. One of my favorite things about this new season is that it’s naturally bringing out all of the things that cause me to dislike the traditionally popular characters. Last episode, Rupert highlights his own self-centeredness, and this episode we get to see James being every bit the judgmental, woman hating dick that he’s been for three seasons now.

The Heroes botch another immunity challenge thanks to a spectacular team implosion. James tries to pin the entire thing on Stephenie after the fact, shouting over and over again that there should have been “one voice” after they’ve already lost, because this is always what James does: he offers no helpful soution when the problem is actually occurring, he only bitches about it loudly after the fact using catchphrases like “Don’t eat the apple” or “One voice”. When the Heroes get to Tribal Council, James continues to bitch about how it’s all Stephenie’s fault because, ironically, she wouldn’t stop talking. When Stephenie natrually tries to defend herself, James starts screaming at her, because she is smaller than he is and that is how James’ brain works. When Colby and Tom stand up for her, however, James is curiously quieter. Hm, wonder why that is?

Tragically, this is not enough to stop Stephenie from getting voted out when the swing votes of Cirie and Candace align with the newly formed JT/James/Amanda triad. Either way, go fuck yourself, James.

Other things that happen: the Villains tribe still doesn’t have a shelter, which causes Rob to get upset at them, which causes him to pass out all scarily like we saw in the preview all week. Luckily, it turns out to be nothing, as the medics show upand do not remove someone from the game for the first time I can remember. Also Russell kills a chicken and then talks about it forever, which means I’ll have plenty of opportunities to quote The Simpsons this week.

But seriously James: go fuck yourself.

Models of the Runway: PottyMouth

Last night on Models of the Runway, the models were rewarded for doing so great with the kids by getting to spend MORE time with the kids!!! I bet their moms were excited about that!

Cerri told Heidi that she doesn’t like kids nor does she want to have any, but then had a great time at the hang out session. Later at Anorexia Apartments, she realized that you can be a grown ass woman and still be as annoying as a kid when several of her roommates rolled their eyes at her for bitching about the fact that the kitchen is a smelly, disgusting mess.

Megan realized that she actually is seven years old mentally as she bonded with her assigned child over their mutual love of Hanna Montana and hair scrunching. I think I could actually feel my brain cells committing suicide while she was talking.

Oh, and of course, someone got sent home. Come back for the full recap to find out who, what, why and where. (okay, just who).

Olympics: Chooch

Johnny Weir was robbed! Simple as that… right on national television. The kid only made one tiny little mis-step in an otherwise perfect program & ends up in 6th place? WTF? The other dudes ahead of him, up to the bronze winner, ALL FELL DOWN! Canada’s Chan…fell down, Switzerland’s Lambeil…fell down & Japan’s Takahashi…fell fuckin’ down & won the bronze! Oh, the judges said his skating wasn’t as complicated as the others. I watched the others & they FELL DOWN! You should lose half your points for that. Come on, this is the best of the best, if you can’t stay up, get off the ice!

I only watched the men’s figure skating last night. I got too wrapped up in Project Runway & Celebrity Rehab, so I just DVR’d the Olympics. I FF’d thru the downhill skiing & the women’s snowboarding & got right to the guys skating. I have to say that the best dressed of the night was that cute blonde Czech kid, Michal Brezina. He was wearing a white long-sleeved shirt, covered with a coral vest with dark brown cross-pattern & trim. His slacks were a dark tan. Perfect. The two top contenders, Pluchenko & Lysacek both wore black. Evan had a silver snake around his neck & Evgeni had colored sparkles which formed a fake vest & tie. Of the two, Evgeni’s was better. Johnny’s outfit was silver & white with bejeweled wings. No fur. There was a Tonya Harding moment! Something you never see. Half way thru his program, Japan’s Takahiko Kozuka attempted a jump & choked. He limped over to the judges. He didn’t cry, but he DID break a lace. He had 3 minutes to fix it, which he did & then finished in 8th place.

As for who won, I have to agree that USA’s Evan Lysacek was the better skater. He performed a perfect program, while Plushenko just showed off his jumps & didn’t do them all that well. Thank god NBC re-broadcasts their show in late night because my DVR quit recording it just as Plushenko made his first quad/triple. ARRGHHH!!! I almost shit. Of course it went right to live TV & the event was over. The local news was showing Lysacek skating around the arena waving his American flag. A sure sign that he had won the gold. Fuckin’ A! I was actually glad Evgeni got silver. He was just too damn cocky! Tomorrow night… Ice dancing.