About Last Night: Millionaire Matchmaker, Bad Girls Club, Parenthood, Lost

Last night, Bad Girls probably won’t ever be Millionaires and Sayid could have used some good old fashioned Parenthood.

That infection did nothing for your hair.

Lost: Ack

Last night on Lost, we saw Sideways Sayid bringing flowers to the love of his life Nadia…who was married to his brother!  And not only did his brother steal his girl, he also borrowed some money from a few no-goodnicks (i.e. Keamy!).  Keamy and Gang roughed up Sayid’s bro, Nadia begged Sayid not to retaliate, and he didn’t – for like 10 whole minutes!  Then Keamy’s lackies kidnapped Sayid to try and get him to repay his brother’s debts, only Sayid’s “survival skills” kicked in and he shot them all to death!  And then he randomly found a tied-up Jin in a walk-in freezer!

 

On the island, Dogen asked Sayid to kill Mocke, whom Dogen referred to as “evil incarnate.”  The only problem was that when Sayid did as Dogen asked and stabbed Mocke, nothing happened!  That is, nothing happened apart from Mocke telling Sayid he could bring Nadia back to life if he just did him this one teeny favor – go back to the temple, tell the people there that it was Mocke’s way or the highway, and then kill Dogen.  Which Sayid did, no problemo.  So basically all the Others could join up with Mocke or get Smoked Out, and unfortunately most of them seemed to choose the latter and ended up being bloody corpses.  Luckily for Kate, Claire was on Team Smokey, and she kept her safe during the rampage, despite apparently wanting to tear Kate’s still-beating heart out of her chest!  And then Ilana and Crew showed up and hid in some secret passageway in the temple, so Smokey didn’t get them.  Yet.

 

So in a nutshell, Sayid has totally gone to the dark side, Claire is even creepier than we could have ever imagined, Keamy is a dick in any dimension, and Smokey is seemingly indestructible, but has no problem destroying everyone else.

Millionaire Matchmaker: SexyPanda

Last night on Millionaire Matchmaker, Jimmy Dean Sausage is back, this time in first person and with a 30 Rock-like entourage. Seems he’s had a change of heart since the last season, when he picked a bimbo and insulted her on their date. This time, he again picks a bimbo….but has Jimmy Dean Sausage changed?

Patti also tries to help a very round, very rich man find a good, Christian woman. Type O Negative songs swirl through my head. Rotund Millionaire picks a Jewish woman, shows her a good time, but ultimately takes his millions off her table. And Patti knew it, she KNEW it!

Also, did you know that boners move like drawbridges or geishas when they choose women to date? I didn’t, until tonight! (Let’s hope I can get a screengrab of it. There were multiple opportunities.) See you later this week!

Last night on Bad Girls Club, the dingbats celebrated Batshit’s departure. BirdbeakBarbie was as nasty as usual. Kendra got a boo. And we had two visitors! That’s right, the return of The Amber Show! Stay tuned for the full recap!

Parenthood: Chooch

I’m a HUGE fan of Peter Krause. I still call him “Nate” from his “Six Feet Under” days. So when I laid down on the couch to watch “Parenthood”, I was eager to see Nate on my TV again. By the way. Craig T. Nelson is still “Coach” to me. Let me say this, they gave us alot of plot to digest in one hour. I’m still not sure who’s fuckin’ who, but it did hold my attention. There was specimen sperm in the frig, teens sitting in jail after being busted for pot, a small boy not interested in dad’s favorite sport, a mom getting caught with Jimmy from “Yes Dear”, in his underpants, a lawyer/sister/wife/mom who doesn’t know shit about what’s going on around her, but still has that “holier than thou” attitude, Grandpa Coach talking too loud & in the end, a very poignant scene where Nate tells Coach, “There’s something wrong with my son.” after finding out the boy has Asperger’s. The little twist comes in the last scene, when this gorgeous young lady comes to the house to see Dax, from “Punk’d”, & she’s got this little kid in tow, claiming, “He just wants to meet his dad.” It all sounds really ‘soap opera’ & basically it is, but with humor & heart. I think I liked it. I’ll watch it next week to find out for sure.

As for “LOST”, I hated “Sundown” & if something happens to Ben next week, I’m done! I’ll never watch another episode. EVER!!!!