About Last Night: Real World and Shear Genius

Last night, there were two Pandrews and they could have both used a Posh Spice makeover.

Real World: VirginiaApple

This week on The Real World, DRAMA in the aftermath of Ty throwing Pandrew over the balcony. He was ok, but several of the other roomies weren’t. They called a house meeting to tell Ty that his drunken aggression was out of control and they were afraid of what could happen next. Ty said if he got agressive again he would leave and also that he wouldn’t drink anymore, cause that always works out on this show. Eventually, he ended up having a few beers but not getting drunk or aggressive. Emily called him out on not sticking to his declaration of sobriety, which of course led to a fight. In the end, they decided he would stick to not getting drunk enough to make anyone feel unsafe.

To compensate for fulfilling the angry black man stereotype by going against another black stereotype, Ty’s “finding himself” project was introduced, and it was with a hockey team. Did I mention there were brief hints of racism discussions? We were just getting doses of tons of old timey Real World in this episode.

Finally, Pandrew’s little brother William came to visit, and HOLY CRAP THERE ARE TWO OF THEM. Seriously, he was so much like Pandrew it was scary. The girls tried to find out his deep dark secrets, but to no avail. What IS this mysterious secret pain he’s hiding?

Shear Genius: J-Mo

On last night’s episode of Shear Genius, everything went all topsy-turvy… people that sucked last week kicked ass, and people that kicked ass last week sucked, and some people that sucked last week stayed sucky this week, too, so at least there was SOME consistency, which is more than we can say for the challenges on this show.

Our ShortCut Challenge was to make everybody look like Posh Spice, only less plastic and vapid. To make things extra fun, the guest judge was some foreign dude with a fucking messy-ass mullet, which immediately negated his right to criticize anyone for anything. As if the “graduated bob” cut wasn’t hard enough, the stylists had to perform the cut completely DRY, which made ApRebel go a little nuts, and she was way stabbier than I’ve ever seen her. However, she did get some awesome backtalk in on Meestair Mullet, so I’m happy.

The Elimination Challenge was to transform several military wives into 1940′s pin-up girls for a video they were making (stop it, not THAT kind of video!) for their husbands who are away on deployment. Awwwww, isn’t that sweet? Although, if MY husband was stationed far away I would TOTALLY be making porno DVDs to send to him. Eh, what can I say? I’m a giver.

Anyhow, this made MattBian really sad and cry-ey, I’m guessing that’s coming from either sexual frustration (because Yawn won’t put out) or the fact that his last BF broke up with him when he said he was being “shipped out” and Matt found out later that instead of joining the U.S. Military, his ex-BF was “deployed” to dance at The White Party as a Sexy Sailorâ„¢.

The guest judge for this challenge was some bald guy who thinks that knowing how to perform hairstyling from SEVENTY YEARS AGO is ESSENTIAL to success in today’s market. Then he yells at everybody to BUY WAR BONDS. Also, Jonathan Antin wears fake nerd-glasses. I miss Tabatha. Just a reminder, I plead your patience, I’m in L.A. this weekend, recap will follow as soon as I get home, kaysies? Happy Oscars Weekend!

love, J-Mo