Last night in TVille, Lost was awesome, and the Bad Girls still haven’t quite earned a great zip code, but they did infect more hours of television programming, which is fine by us!!
I’ve infected Midget.
American Idol: WaffleBoy
Hi there Gasmi, it was a huge, huge, huge night on Idol last night. We got down to the final 12, which is always a much bigger deal then the final 11, and don’t even get me started on the final eight. (The posture on that episode is always for crap). It was Rolling Stone night which means Keith Richards will be getting a royalty check that he won’t cash until his accountant leaves at least 10 voice mails for him, can’t you feel the magic?
I could walk you through the whole episode, but it would completely defeat the purpose of that recap I should be writing right now.
Look, here’s all you need to know. Big Mike Shook his groove thing and squeaked like a rusty hinge. Casey appeared to be playing the guitar with one hand, which I didn’t know you could do. Siobhan screamed at the end of her song which everyone loved; well not me, but I don’t have a trailer, so what the hell do I know? Tim Urban decided to see just how much America loves cute, and after listening to Skara yammer for two hours I’m officially in favor up upping NASA’s budget if they put her in a rocket and shoot it at the sun. Hey, some people want health care for everybody, I want to make the world a better place. Oh and at least one of Ellen’s ears, is like really, really, really huge.
Bad Girl Club Reunion Part One: Cherie
Last night was the total train wreck we have all come to expect from these reunions. In other words, absolutely fabulous! Turns out Ambeer has a new hair color, and oh yeah, a bun in the oven! She’s 18 weeks preggers! She didn’t say who the daddy was but I am assuming it’s Lil Snoop. BirdBeakBarbie was called out for being a racist and her now live in boytoy Paul was in the audience watching the clips of her making out with PlaymateBarbie. The highlight of the night for me was after Batshit spit on BBB again, Perez took out a Supersoaker and went to town on Batshit’s face. Priceless! For the rest of the drama stay tuned for the full recap coming soon!
Love Games: Bad Girls Need Love Too: Cherie
For starters my dvr tried to kill itself last night after the big overload of Bad Girls. What I can tell you about this show is that it has three former Bag Girls. Amber M. aka Midget from season 3, Sarah also from season 3 and Kendra from this very past season.
The setup looked like The Dating Game/The Bachelorette/A bunch of crackheads. In other words it looks cheesy, sleazy and maybe one of the best guilty pleasures to come along in at least a week.
There were 13 guys all trying to win the love of these girls and after some serious problems with one dude, Kendra threw her drink on him and him out the door. Still, they had to eliminate one more dude. The announcer dude, sorry didn’t catch his name, called three guys up to sit in the chairs of shame and they were told which girl put them up for elimination. Then the girls went to the potty to discuss who was getting the heave ho.
Once I get my dvr some rehab I’ll get the full recap to you asap. Until then, Love & Smooches!
Millionaire Matchmaker: SexyPanda
Ooh, so many things to notice on Millionaire Matchmaker last night. We got to enjoy the innerworkings of a narcissistic mind. Well, no, he was too into himself to actually reveal much, but he sure was a jackass! That was Doug, by the way, the gay millionaire who is actually looking for a clone of himself to date. Do the Real Doll peeps make male models? It would have spared his actual date the pain of having his dinner choice criticized.
Our other millionaire was an -ess, Nicole. I think Bravo was marketing her to be the second coming of Shauna, but she actually wasn’t that bad. Just a wee bit of a bitchy lass. (Happy St. Patty’s day!) She took her date on a “toxic tour” of LA, then pounded shots of tequila with him at dinner. Sounds like a rousing success, right? Let’s talk more about it later this week! See you then!
Hey Gasmii. I’m gonna have to keep this minicap short and sweet. There will also probably be a delay in getting the full recap up. Unfortunately, we had a family emergency and I’m at my parents’ house for the week…and these savages don’t have a DVR.
This week on 90210, honesty finally becomes the best policy. Results vary by character. Naomiam deal with their relationship problem, also known as Ivy. Dixon moves to the next step in his relationship with Silver and it’s definitely not the one he was hoping for. Annie, once again, to no one’s surprise, proves to be the stupidest bitch west of the Mississippi. Adrianna continues blindly along the path towards lesbianism. And I think I saw Matthews but who can remember to even care?
On this week’s Lost, we found out that in the Sideways World, not only is Sawyer not a con man, but he’s a cop! And Miles is his partner! Unfortunately the reason he became a cop was because his parents still died horrifically when he was a kid, and he’s spent his whole career trying to track down the dude (still Locke’s daddy) that was responsible. Miles set “Jim” up on a blind date with Charlotte, and they got along smashingly until she accidentally saw his “Sawyer” file and he not so kindly sent her to start her walk of shame at 3 a.m. Feeling bad about it, he tried to apologize to her the next night, but no dice. He finally told Miles about what happened to his parents to explain why he’d been sneaking around and lying about stuff. Then he caught a criminal on the run who just happened to be Kate, of course.
On the island, Mocke admitted to Sawyer that he was the Smoke Monster and sent him to the other island to scope out the Ajira plane. Once Sawyer got there he was kidnapped by some of Widmore’s thugs, and then made a deal with Widmore to bring him Smokey on a plate, only he was totally lying about it. He just wants to get the hell off the island, and apparently Kate’s invited to steal the submarine with him. Also, Claire attacked Kate for stealing her baybee, and Mocke had to bitchslap Claire to set her straight! Mocke apologized to Kate and told her it was his fault Claire was so cuckoo. He also told Kate that he himself had a crazy mother, and she screwed him up so well that he’s still messed up about it years/decades/centuries/eons later. Yikes.