About Last Night: 90210, Millionaire Matchmaker, Lost

Last night, Annie got a stalker, Patti hooked someone up with lazy diction, and the smoke monster made some trouble.

90210: Mones

This week on 90210: Annie gets her very own stalker, Silver deals with the ghosts of Simi’s girlfriends past, Dixon continues towards the path of least likable character. We hate you! You can stop now. In other news, Becky be trippin’, Navid’s back in school and the dating game and Adrianna sings a new tune. How will these developments unravel?

Stay tuned…

Millionaire Matchmaker: SexyPanda

Last night, on Millionaire Matchmaker, we watched an eternal douchebag with lazy diction slop his way through Patti’s pickins. Seriously, this guy took “asshole” to new dimensions. Also, the entire time I was watching, I was trying to figure out why I knew his name. No, he’s not BRETT Ratner.

We also watched a very sweet guy, Ayinde, meet and court the love of his life. I mean, seriously, those two were freakin’ adorable together and I clapped at the end. I also kinda got misty-eyed at them. I would love to Google him right now and find out they’re engaged. Golly, that was sweet.

Come back and read more, wontcha?

Lost: Ack

This week on Lost, a few hundred years ago, a hot young Latino named Richard (or should I say Riccardus?) accidentally killed a doctor while trying to get medicine for his dying wife, Isabella. Not only did the doctor die, but his wife died too! He got thrown in prison and then sold as a slave to some guy who was sailing the Black Rock!!! As we all know the Black Rock crashed on the island (but not before taking that big statue with it!). After the crash, Richard would have been killed with the other slaves by the ship’s captain, but Smokey came in and killed the captain first! And then he played some tricks on Richard, making him think Isabella was alive ” but of course this was just to mess with Richard’s mind and try to convince him that Jacob = The Devil! Smokey told Richard that he was in Hell, and if he killed Jacob, he’d get to leave and be reunited with his wife!

But since Jacob was apparently all-powerful, he convinced Richard that Smokey was really the bad guy, and explained that his hobby was bringing new people to the island in order to prove that they could be good if he just gave them a chance. Even though they always turned to the Dark Side in the end, Jacob said he’d keep trying. He said Richard should stay here on the island as his assistant to help with his Good vs. Evil experiment, and he made him immortal to boot! So Richard joined Team Jacob and the rest is history. But now that Jacob’s dead, Richard thought maybe he’d join Smokey after all! Good thing the ghost of his dead wife (speaking through Hurley, of course) warned him not to, or else apparently we’re all going to Hell!