About Last Night: Shear Genius and Real World

Last night on TV there were split ends and season ends. Wah to both.

Shear Genius: J-Mo

On last night’s episode of Shear Genius I was truly expecting a knife fight, especially after all of the nastiness unleashed by the Evil Zuni Doll Garofalo (thanks shantigal!) last week. However, either Bravo rushed in and force-fed everyone some Zoloft and Vodka OR they sprang for a bunch of male prostitutes to fuck everybody senseless, because things seemed to have calmed down.

This would also explain why the ShortCut challenge was the cheapest ever filmed. The client was… Cameltoe. And the guest judge was… BoreLando Peta. Everybody got 45 minutes to style Cameltoe while she attempted to shit-stir and pry into their behind-the-scenes lives. I was hoping one of the stylestants would get pissed off at her ham-fisted noseyness and decide to have a little fun with her by jumping back in horror and screaming “OMG, HEAD LICE!!!!!”. What? It would have TOTALLY shut her up!

As for the Elimination Challenge, it was an open-wide range, they were supposed to style two models (plus THEMSELVES) in order to create a three-picture-portfolio that describes their “brand”. I’m getting kind of tired of hearing this “brand” bullshit out of everybodies mouths these days, and really, you can make a “brand” out of any kind of visual. Mine would probably be fat guys in tighty-whitey underwear and black socks eating Kraft Macaroni & Cheese straight out of the pot while watching Project Runway and crying. And no, that’s not based on any kind of real-life memory, why do you ask?

Anyhow, I can’t say too much more about how this challenge comes out because I don’t want to give it away in case you haven’t seen the show yet, but I will say this much: some of you are going to be pissed as all hell, and others of you are going to be TVGasmically ecstatic. I know that’s absolutely no help at all, but I don’t care, my pot of macaroni & cheese is getting cold and my bare thighs are sticking to this office chair, so I’ll see all of you in a few days with the recap.

P.S. I’m working on a super-special surprise for you guys, keep your fingers crossed that I can pull it off….

Real World: Virginia Apple

Well, here we are Gasmii: the bitter end. Although in reality, there wasn’t really any bitterness as the roomies of the Real World DC house bid each other farewell. In fact, just the opposite.

First off, Callie decided to throw together a showing at a gallery featuring her photos, Pandrew’s paintings, and Emily’s poetry. Unsurprisingly, there was a bit of drama leading up to the show as Pandrew procrastinated like a champ. Oh, and a brief resurrection of Ty poking at Callie’s insecurities- this time it was about whether or not photography takes any skill.

Also, the Panda lovers had to decide whether to break up, move in together, or do the long distance thing. Pandrea wants to move to Colorado to be with Pandrew, but he thinks that’s too fast. He says he’s going to break up with her, but then he doesn’t want to. She finally convinced him that she was doing it for herself, which is apparently enough to get him to agree to her moving across the country from her friends, family, and good job. I look forward to watching the Reunion to see how that worked out.

Mike’s dad came to visit and they went to a dinner where President Obama spoke, much to Mike’s delight. They also marched in a demonstration and had some words with a homophobe on the side of the road. Oh, but the night before that stuff happened Mike busted his face open “flirting” with some guy (sketchy, hi Tanner) and gave an awesome drunkover (as in, hungover but still pretty damn drunk) confessional about it.

Truth and Dare shenanigans happened as a last minute roomie bonding effort. Basically, an excuse for them to do dirty things to/with each other. And then it was time for tearful goodbyes all around!