About Last Night: Survivor and Fringe

About Last Night

By Flipit | Friday, April 23, 2010 | 5:20 pm | 12 Comments

Last night, Schoonie got a present and Fringe got weirder and weirder.

Screen Shot 2010-04-23 At 5.20.03 Pm

Survivor: Schoonie

I’m not even sure how to fully explain what happened, so complicated and beautiful was it.   I feel like I just saw Hailey’s Comet.

 

The merge finally arrives, and the Villains decide to go ahead with their plan to get rid of JT by making him think Russell is going to flip.  JT buys it hook, line and sinker, but when Sandra takes Rupert aside to tell him the real situation, Rupert starts to think that things are maybe too good to be true.  Then Rupert and JT get into a fight, with JT telling Rupert how ridiculous he’s being by not trusting Russell one hundred percent, so now JT is making me side with Rupert on top of all the other shit he’s done in the last few episodes, so now he’s officially my least favorite contestant ever.  At the immunity challenge, Parvati takes herself out at the last minute and gives immunity to Danielle and her scarily transparent silicone breasts, making the Heroes think something might be up.  They agree to tell Russell that they’re voting for Parvati, but then vote for Sandra or Jerri to see if he’s loyal.  Afterwards, Russell gives the idol he got from JT to Parvati, meaning that Parvati now has both idols.  Before Tribal Council, Amanda tries to get a side gig going with Parvati, but Parvati reads her like a book and figures out that the Heroes aren’t coming after her directly.

 

With all of this information in hand, Parvati heads to Tribal Council.  To review, Parvati has used the power of logic to deduce the following: that Heroes can’t vote for Danielle because she has immunity, that they won’t vote for Russell because they think he’s on their side, and that they won’t vote for Parvati herself because they think she’s going to play the idol.  Thus, Parvati has determined that this leaves two possible options for the Heroes: Jerri and Sandra.  So what does Parvati do?  She GIVES AN IDOL TO EACH OF THEM. It is, and I am not kidding when I say this, the single best play in the history of this show.  Even the other Villains are surprised, particularly Russell, who thinks that his lame ass remedial plan to get them to vote for Parvati is actually going to work.  In short, Parvati singlehandedly makes the very best play possible, and she does it without the help of her allies, and she does it solely through the use of her brain. 

 

Say what you want, haters, but she is really, REALLY good at being on this show.  Respect.

Fringe: Fairchild

On a lively episode of Fringe last night, creepy Newton from the parallel universe was back causing massive chaos, this time with the help of a pair of shape-shifters.  The shape-shifters killed and impersonated a couple of cute stoner teens, then set about implementing Newton’s scheme to open up another doorway to the other side.  The Fringe gang found a stillborn shape-shifter embryo, which Walter zapped with massive amounts of electricity and brought to life.  If it’s good enough for Dr. Frankenstein, it’s good enough for Walter.  Thanks to information provided by the reanimated embryo, Olivia and the gang figured out that Newton was going to build his trans-universe gateway on a broken bridge over the Charles River.  Walter whipped up one of his typically nonsensical devices to neutralize the effects of Newton’s equally nonsensical universe-opening device, and off they went to stop him.

When the doorway between universes opened, Peter scrambled to activate Walter’s device to close it back up.  Before the gateway closed, Peter caught a glimpse of a man from the parallel universe trying to cross over to our side.  The force of Walter’s device obliterated a random FBI agent into smithereens… but left Peter and the man from the other universe unharmed.  From this, Peter finally — finally, finally! — figured out what the audience has known for months now: He’s not from this universe, and Walter has been hiding this secret from him for all his adult life.  It’s fair to say Peter does not take this discovery well.

Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

12 Comments

  1. 1
    cattyfan
    Posted April 23, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    I am not a Parvarti fan…and I agree that was the best play in the history of the show. And I loves that Russell was all indignant she hadn’t told him what she was up to (so he could take credit for it.) Now if only she would blindside him…

  2. 2
    juddfan
    Posted April 23, 2010 at 8:11 pm

    She may not have to, Catty, the way the next epi looks–leave it to Sandra–doesn’t seem getting an idol will make her any more loyal. I do appreciate her shaking things up.

    We probably have a lot of shaking up to go, perhaps even Russell will switch after all. And, likely (producers) and idol will be back.

    Pretty lame how they all gave up on the challenge-whimps!

  3. 3
    here4beer
    Posted April 24, 2010 at 8:33 am

    “…so now JT is making me side with Rupert on top of all the other shit he’s done in the last few episodes, so now he’s officially my least favorite contestant ever”

    LOL!! and WORD, schoonie. JT proved himself the most overrated player ever this season.

  4. 4
    arta
    Posted April 24, 2010 at 10:57 am

    Can’t wait to see how Schoonie doubles back on her rant about Russell making a “stupid move” by shielding an alliance member with idol after expertly detecting a counter from the opposing alliance, only to herald Parvati’s brilliance for doing the exact same thing.

    Should be hilarious!

  5. 5
    Mr Dangerous
    Posted April 24, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    Peeps,

    Have you been watching the show?

    KING RUSSELL is the STAR of SURVIVOR. They’re not getting rid of the STAR! I suspect SEXYBACK is onboard till the end of the line.

    uh, judging from the coming attractions I would bet that Rupert, Colby or The Cockroach is the next to go.

  6. 6
    schoonie
    Posted April 24, 2010 at 2:54 pm

    First of all, I am male, so…there’s that.

    More importantly, if you go back and read the “rant” you’re referring to, it’s about how Russell can make all the moves he wants, but he’ll never win because he’s an asshole. It criticizes his treatment of other people and, in fact, lauds the play he made.

    To summarize: Before you go trying to point out supposed contradicting opinions I’m forming, you may want to, you know, read the actual article instead of just arbitrarily deciding that I’m illogical simply because I don’t like your favorite player.

  7. 7
    arta
    Posted April 24, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    BitchySurvivorBlog is written better than your articles, which is embarrassing for you and your website. For some reason you’ve seem confused about the fact that even an deliberately opinionated satire column is better when you don’t slant the facts. And the facts are you criticise Russell for moves and then turn around and praise other players when they do the same thing. This time it’s Parvati.

    Here’s a sample of your past work:

    “God, we were THIS CLOSE to getting rid of Russell. It would have been so poetic, to see him get sent home as a result of over thinking the game and giving the idol to Parvati. Instead, we have…this. Not great. A lot of people have been giving Russell credit for convincing Tyson to change his vote, but I’m much more inclined to attribute it to Tyson’s stupidity. Russell’s trying whatever he can at this point, and I’m not sure he deserves the credit that’s being heaped on him for this particular move. I mean, it’s moderately smart to tell someone you’re voting for your own ally, but on the other hand, Russell has been so inept this season that taking out one person isn’t exactly turning the game around for him. It’s like, “Congratulations, you managed to briefly overcome your almost unprecedented social incompetence by playing an idol! You’re the greatest player ever!”

    Wrong. The “Greatest Player Ever” would never cause everyone to hate him, playing the social game so poorly as to be almost hopelessly outnumbered. I mean, we all know that Russell knows how to work an idol; that’s been established. But as I’ve said a million times, that doesn’t make you a great strategist. He’s pretty much hopelessly fucked himself by acting like an asshole and making no friends, and while Tyson’s elimination is a temporary setback, Russell is still massively outnumbered. Even if he finds another idol and saves his ass again (which is not out of the question), he’s still pretty screwed because he’s unlikable and full of himself. Even if he does get to the end, odds are that the jury’s going to be stacked with Villains, and they all clearly hate his ass and thus would never vote for him to win.”

    And now you’re going to turn around and praise Parvati for performing a similar move, leaving out the dumb mistakes she made (like stepping off the immunity challenge for one). It’s really ruined the recaps this season.

  8. 8
    Mr Dangerous
    Posted April 24, 2010 at 4:06 pm

    Schoonie:

    All us regular posters know you’re ALL MAN. Even more man than me — if that’s possible.

    I agree with BEERBOY. That quote made me laugh too. IT IS SO YOU.

  9. 9
    cattyfan
    Posted April 24, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    Several stubborn and foolish posters fail to see the difference between Russell and Parvarti. Others players, in spite of Parvarti being an obvious threat, still like and respect her. NO ONE likes or respects Russell…hence his complete failure in an integral part of the game: social skills.

    I love you, Schoonie. (And I’m not alone.)

  10. 10
    Schoonie
    Posted April 24, 2010 at 9:34 pm

    That quote is the same rant we’re both referring to. It’s about Russell the person, not Russell the player, which is the point I’m making. You’re welcome to disagree with me, but at least present evidence relevant to your point.

  11. 11
    dani2526
    Posted April 25, 2010 at 9:45 am

    You mean we’re not all here for fact and objectivity?? SHOOOOT.

  12. 12
    zerocool
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    If I wanted objective commentary I wouldn’t read anything on tvgasm. That’s why I love it – the snarky bitchy attitudes. Waiting with bated breath for the recap, Schoonie!

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