Alcatraz Recap: Bully For You!

Scut Farkus is lucky he didn’t go to school with this week’s baddie.

Hellooooooooo, Gasmii! Hopefully you’ve watched this week’s episode of Alcatraz and therefore understand the above reference…if not, let’s just say this episode was a dark extended version of an ‘It Gets Better’ video. As in, don’t worry about being bullied, because one day you’ll grow up. And then you can become a serial killer and hideously murder all of those d-bags. (I do not condone this message, as I believe a gentle maiming can get the job done just as well.)

Yes indeed, this week’s bad guy is one that many of us can sort of relate to – the smart kid who was endlessly tormented by bullies throughout his school years, until the day he finally cracked and went all Rambo on their collective ass. If Rambo was an expert in chemistry who knew how to concoct a variety of narsty poisons, that is.

Episode 7 starts off in the quasi-Alcatraz sick bay, where Lucy Banarjee is still stuck in that boring ol’ coma – good thing they give her some stuff to do back in 1960, otherwise this role would be completely thankless. And Bend it Like Beckham deserves better than that.

Right off the bat, we’re given the answer to a mystery that was brought to our attention just last week, when Emerson Hauser told Dr. Beauregard to fix Lucy, using her ‘methods.’ What could these mysterious methods be, we all wondered…what sort of weird-ass shit was the lovely doctor into?

Unfortunately, it looks like the ‘methods’ Hauser was referring to were the ones we were already aware of – electroshock therapy, traumatic memory therapy, and acupuncture. Seriously?? Did Hauser actually believe that they were gonna wake Lucy out of this six week coma by asking her to SHARE HER FEELINGS?!? I’m sorta bummed that this mundane shit is what he was talking about, but what are you gonna do.

Beauregard tells Hauser that none of that stuff worked – big surprise. She remains unresponsive. Hauser asks why her EEG is active, and Dr. B tells him that she’s dreaming. Aw. Ain’t that sweet.

Then Dr. B says something that catches my attention…’whatever she’s dreaming about is evidently better than her options here…in our so-called reality.’ Hrm. So-called reality, eh? Does he say that because he sees reality as perhaps more ‘flexible’ than he once did, now that he’s been magically transported 50 years in time? Or does his phrase have a deeper meaning? If it does, I have a feeling THAT answer won’t be popping up in a mere week. Onward!

Dr. B wants Hauser to read to Lucy, because he believes that hearing Emerson’s voice might help Lucy find a reason to wake up – love. So I guess peeps were well aware of the flingy-ding-ding the two engaged in back in the day. Dr. B passes his book of choice to Hauser – over Lucy’s comatose body, of course.

Watch those hands, fellas.

The book is ‘The Carpetbaggers’ by Harold Robbins, which Dr. B says was one of Lucy’s guilty pleasures…though Emerson Hauser looks none too pleased with the choice. Though I’m a huge bibliophile, I’ve never read this particular novel, so of course I did a bit of research. Apparently, the book was considered pretty raunchy for its day (it was published in 1961) – its central character, Jonas Cord, was thought to have been based on Howard Hughes. The book catalogs Cord’s various sexual exploits and showcases a man who appears to have it all (ridiculously wealthy, Cord dabbles in both aviation and the film industry, just like Hughes) but is actually falling apart in his personal life.

The word ‘carpetbagger’ was a derogatory term used by Southerners in the 1800′s to describe Northerners who traipsed into their towns, looking to exploit the locals and manipulate their politics. So basically, an outsider who tries to gain control and power.

Robbins’ books were often shunned for their graphic sexuality (at least back in the ’40s and ’50s, anyway), which is probably why Hauser seems skeptical about Dr. B’s claim that ‘The Carpetbaggers’ was one of Lucy’s favorites. And as far as the term goes…it could mean nothing, or it could be that this is how Dr. B views Hauser (or even Lucy herself) – as an outsider who’s meddling in places where they’re not welcome.

Okay, enough with the side track. Hauser isn’t into the book reading idea, so he takes off. Across town, we’re treated to the sight of a SLAMMIN’ dance club where a bartender with an awful Three Stooges-esque haircut is serving drinks.

NOT flattering, dude.

Judging by the awkward haircut alone, I’d say this is probably our baddie of the week, Johnny McKee. When a dickweed Asian guy demands that McKee whip up some drinks for him and his buddies, McKee says he’ll make them ‘something special.’ Somehow I don’t think that means he’ll be dumping an extra shot of Goldschlager into their glasses.

Sure enough, Johnny starts surreptitiously cutting up some nasty looking yellow berries to add to the group’s beverages…I smell death waiting in the wings!!

CLANK-RATTLE-SLAM! Back in the Alcatraz yard in 1960, McKee is playing with a giant, disgusting bug that he’s keeping in a glass jar. A convict approaches and tells him that Cullen wants to see him – but McKee doesn’t want any of that action, as he doesn’t usually ‘deal with his type.’ Unfortunately for Johnny, it seems that Cullen is the big dog on campus, so he doesn’t exactly have a choice in the matter.

He climbs the steps in the yard to where Cullen sits – at the top, of course, looking out over his kingdom. Cullen gets right to the point – he wants McKee to kill someone for him, specifically the dude who currently acts as the jail librarian. Apparently, the librarian is operating his own little black market shop (selling ‘pig stickers,’ according to Cullen), which goes in direct violation of King Cullen’s most important rule – don’t step on my turf. (Cullen operates the main black market trade on Alcatraz, and wants to keep it that way.)

McKee doesn’t want to do it, but since Cullen is a man of power, Johnny once again doesn’t have a choice. I’m already feeling bad for this guy.

CLANK-RATTLE-SLAM! Back in the present day nightclub, McKee is serving up some wicked yellow drinks to the asshole Asians, who really are acting like dicks. I know they’re innocent and all, but I have to say, I’m sorta not sad when they start choking and collapsing all over their trampy dates. No great loss.

At Alcatraz HQ, Hurley is engaged in an intense multi-player online game, when he’s suddenly distracted by a YouTube video that pops up on an adjacent computer screen. Of course, it’s a clip of the jerky Asian dudes horking to death at the club – and who does the computer manage to pull a facial recognition of but Alcatraz prisoner #2055 – Johnny McKee. And Doc immediately knows who and what their next case is. He wastes no time in calling Detective Madsen at home.

(Hey…one quick question – so Doc’s alone on Alcatraz late at night, huh? How did he manage THAT? Do they have a personal ferry service at their beck and call? Does he have his own way on and off the island, to come and go as he pleases? Just a thought.)

According to Doc, McKee killed over 70 people back in 1958, and so far on this show I think that’s a record, folks! Madsen tells Doc to meet her at the nightclub…but judging by the next scene, they don’t make it there until morning, which seems odd, but whatev.

Doc gives Madsen the low-down on McKee…a shy kid from Oregon, he grew up to teach organic chemistry at a junior college while poisoning dudes in his spare time. Classy! His poison of choice was usually cyanide, and his biggest off-ing was at his 15 year high school reunion, where he killed 42 former classmates by putting a cyanide-based pesticide into the sprinkler system. NAR-STY!!!!!

Inside the bar, the gang decides to talk to the manager, who ID’s Johnny McKee and says that he hired him two days ago, after a grueling interview process of ‘make me a martini.’ Um, are these re-appeared Alcatraz guys provided with a handy driver’s license as well? Did this dude not demand to see it? Anyway. He gives them McKee’s application, and they figure checking out his address ain’t a bad place to start. Meanwhile, Doc tells Madsen and Hauser that McKee usually killed men, and that no one ever figured out why.

Elsewhere in San Francisco, Johnny McKee is sitting on a couch next to a d-bag who’s watching the YouTube clip of the nightclub deaths while laughing his butt off. Jerkstore. Just then, a guy enters and calls out McKee’s name, and it seems that our baddie is attempting to get a job as a pool boy at whatever this country club-esque place is. When the guy finds out McKee can fold a mean towel AND mix pool chemicals, he’s immediately hired.

WTF?!? Is San Francisco, like, the easiest f-ing place in the world to get a job?!? In THIS economy?!? I might have to re-locate.

Over at McKee’s ‘address’ of 142 Broadway, Madsen and Doc find only an empty lot – and that’s when Doc realizes that McKee didn’t list his current address but his last one – cell number 142 on the Broadway strip of the Alcatraz cell block. D’oh.

Way to drop the ball, Hurley.

Is it just me, or does Doc remember EVERYTHING?!? It’s insane. He ALSO happens to remember who had the cell next to McKee – cell number 144. It was Jack Sylvane. And the duo are off and running to arrange a little pow-wow with the handsome baddie.

They arrive at Alcatraz HQ to find Emerson Hauser simultaneously watching about a dozen different sites featuring the nightclub video…he clicks a few keys, and magically – POP! Every single one of the videos disappears, to be replaced by an error message or ‘file not found.’ I hate when that happens.

But I wanted to watch the one where the kitten sneezes.

Madsen informs Hauser that Sylvane was McKee’s prison neighbor back in the day – she wants to talk to him, and asks Hauser to tell her what prison Jack’s being kept at. Hardy-har-har, joke’s on her, eh? Of course, Hauser isn’t about to divulge his secret quasi-Alcatraz project, so he tells her that he’ll bring Jack here to meet with her.

Madsen heads down to the storage room, where Doc is digging through boxes. He tells her that Nikki the morgue attendant hasn’t gotten back yet with the toxicology report from the nightclub bodies, so Madsen tells him just to head to the morgue himself to ask if Nikki found cyanide. This makes Doc uncomfortable, since he has a pretty obvious crush on the corpse whisperer. And Madsen, having no human heart, hasn’t got a clue.

Doc continues to dig crap out of McKee’s box of possessions. Seems the guy was a big Jules Verne fan, really dug his phrase ‘the future is now.’ Fitting, huh? Doc’s done some other sleuthing on McKee…he plead not guilty in the poisoning of his classmates, even though he was found at the reunion with the poison in hand – he claimed it was justifiable homicide, since the dudes he killed were all bullies.

One other item of interest Doc has found in the box – a picture of a gal named Ginny, who’s sporting a pretty nasty looking facial scar. He guesses that perhaps she meant something to McKee, that maybe he was trying to protect her by killing bullies.

A little foundation and a paper bag will clear that RIGHT up.

Back at the health club, Johnny McKee is cheerfully putting out towels around the pool when a half-naked douche-nozzle throws his skank-ass used towel at Johnny’s head. He demands a new towel, and Johnny hastily replies, ‘yes, sir.’ Man, this poor schmo runs in to all KINDS of jerk-wads!!

In the utility room, McKee empties a vial of yellow liquid into the pool pump, and I can’t say I’m gonna sob when that fat jerk-wad takes a poison plunge. I sorta get it, you know?

CLANK-RATTLE-SLAM! In the Alcatraz library in 1960, McKee is chatting up his soon-to-be-victim, Mr. Librarian. McKee wants a pig-sticker of his very own, and in return he hands over an old-timey nudie mag. Mr. Librarian is a fan of the female figure, so the deal is done – he hands McKee a book with a pig-sticker stuck in the spine.

Looks more like a plastic nail file to me.

Johnny then asks the librarian if he’s coming to movie night, where they’ll be treated to a showing of ‘Born Reckless,’ starring Mamie Van Doren. Mr. Librarian says no, that he prefers to read, but when Johnny tempts him with promises of partially exposed Mamie mammaries, he quickly changes his mind. Too bad for him, since that’s probably where McKee plans to kill him.

CLANK-RATTLE-SLAM! At the health club, McKee is calmly straightening up the towels around the pool, when the view turns to reveal a bunch of dead dudes floating in the water. And here you thought kid pee in the pool was your biggest concern.

POOL PARTY!!!

Over on Alcatraz Island, Madsen comes face to face with our old buddy Jack Sylvane, who’s looking pretty good and sporting a new haircut to boot.

A much more current-looking Jackie boy.

My husband has requested that I stop referring to Jack Sylvane as ‘Hottie McPrison Pants,’ by the way. Sorry, ladies.

Madsen wants Sylvane to give her information on McKee. Jack asks, ‘if I don’t answer, is he (Hauser) gonna give me to Beauregard again?’ So apparently Doc B has been doing a little torture over at quasi-Alcatraz after all, eh? Madsen jumps on the name – who the hell is this Beauregard, anyway? Of course, Hauser isn’t about to tell her, so he instructs her to get back on subject.

Jack wants to know what’s in this for him – Hauser tells him, ‘nothing.’ Well, that’s ONE way to win friends, I suppose. Madsen has another idea – she pulls out a framed picture of Jack’s ex-wife, the one which he had in his cell. He’s not overjoyed to see it, but it’s enough to make him loosen his lips and start talking.

Detective Madsen isn’t gonna waste this opportunity – instead of immediately asking questions about McKee, she wants to know how long Sylvane was in San Francisco before they caught up with him. A few days, he tells her. Then she asks where he came back. Right here, he says – Alcatraz. She wants to know how…but unfortunately, that’s the very same question he wants to ask HER. And so the mystery remains, which is good since otherwise this show would never be picked up for a second season.

CLANK-RATTLE-SLAM! In 1960, Jack Sylvane was indeed stuck in a cell directly next door to Johnny McKee. McKee pokes some fun at Sylvane for mooning over his picture of his estranged wife, and in retaliation Sylvane tells him that he would understand if he’d ever had a girl. Yowch.

McKee tells him that he DID have a girl once – Ginny Winters, the gal with the unfortunate face scab. He says that he and Ginny had a date once upon a time, a date filled with egg creams and romance.

An egg cream contains neither eggs nor cream. Discuss.

He says that he and Ginny shared a special kiss, the kind of kiss that makes you realize that whatever comes after, doesn’t matter. Sylvane asks what happened to Ginny, and McKee simply replies, ‘I couldn’t tell ya.’ Notice that he didn’t say ‘I don’t know’ – ‘I couldn’t tell ya’ could be interpreted several ways.

MINI-SLAM! Heh heh…where’s my clank-rattle, dude?? Anyway. Back in present day Alcatraz, Sylvane tells Madsen that McKee was a real weirdo – a big sci-fi fan who loved spouting his favorite Jules Verne phrase, ‘the future is now.’

MINI-SLAM! Aaaaaaaand we’re back in 1960, to continue our conversation between McKee and Sylvane. McKee mentions the submarine the Nautilus, which recently journeyed through San Francisco Bay on its way to the North Pole – seems Jules Verne was correct in his prediction of submarines. He also happened to write about men landing on the moon, a feat which the 1960 Jack Sylvane scoffs at (Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong didn’t make their historic voyage til 1969).

While this conversation is happening, McKee is dipping the pointy end of his newly acquired pig sticker into a jar filled with crushed yellow berries and dead bug parts. Ew.

Yummy.

MINI-SLAM! Present day Jack Sylvane tells Madsen that McKee kept a jar of bugs in his cell, a jar that he called his ‘killing jar.’ He’d put nightshade seeds in with the bugs to poison them…because nightshade plants were plentiful all over Alcatraz Island, at least back in the ’60s. That sorta seems like poor planning on the prison’s part, don’t you agree?

Hauser says that time’s up. Before Sylvane can be carted away, Madsen quickly leans in to ask him if he knew Tommy Madsen – her grandfather – in the past. Sylvane knows exactly who she’s talking about – that unfortunate fellow who was always giving blood in the infirmary. Rebecca is confused – was Tommy sick? Sylvane doesn’t know, but he DOES know that the people in charge back in the day didn’t need an excuse to do whatever the hell they wanted to the prisoners.

Just before Jack leaves, he drops a final information bomb on Detective Madsen – once upon a time, Tommy told him about a ‘hole beneath the Hole’ on Alcatraz, underneath the strip cells. Jack wants to know if Rebecca knows what that means, but of course she’s as clueless as he is. Too bad that Taylor Lautner-looking guy hasn’t shown up yet, cuz we know he got an EYEFUL of whatever was lurking in that hole.

Hauser once again insists that time is up – because there’s been another poisoning (probably the one at the pool). As he’s escorted out of the room, Sylvane tells Madsen that she has her grandfather’s eyes, a fact that seems to disturb her a bit. No wonder, as she blames her partner’s death on the dude.

Madsen calls Doc and tells him to search for places in the city that might sell nightshade. Doc, meanwhile, has just gotten to the morgue to ask Nikki what the tox results were – and he catches her with her pants down, figuratively speaking.

Oh, how embarrassing, was my ribcage exposed??

Nikki doesn’t have good news for Doc – the bodies from the nightclub showed no signs of common drug overdose nor cyanide poisoning. Too bad they didn’t know about the nightshade a little sooner, huh?

Over at the health spa, Hauser and Madsen are assessing the situation – the manager and security camera footage have ID’d Johnny McKee, but he’s long gone – and the medical examiner on the scene has told Hauser that nightshade wouldn’t have worked in the pool. Back to square one, gang.

At an undisclosed lab somewhere in the city, McKee is concocting a new toy – looks like a pretty lethal poison gas to this gal. He tests it on a poor little lab mouse, which totally bums me out. Sigh.

After a commercial break, we’re back in 1960, where Johnny McKee is making the acquaintance of our lovely Ms. Lucy. She wants to know why most of McKee’s victims were men, but he’s not quite ready to just lie down and start handing over information. She asks if he dreams about his killings, but he says he doesn’t dream at all.

This pisses off Warden James, who a bit earlier had made a somewhat hilarious entrance into the scene by rolling his chair into the frame. He tells Johnny that his time’s up, this session’s over because of his unwillingness to cooperate. Johnny’s sorta bummed, probably because Lucy’s such a sight for sore eyes.

CLANK-RATTLE-SLAM! The justice league arrives in Chinatown, where Doc has tracked down the source of McKee’s nightshade seeds – an elderly Chinese herbalist. Unfortunately, the shopkeeper only speaks Chinese – but Emerson Hauser just happens to speak the language fluently. Madsen and Doc look surprised and impressed.

They obtain McKee’s address from the shop owner. Before they leave the shop, the guy gives Hauser a small package and tells him that his chi is murky. Perhaps this is because of our theory that we discussed in last week’s comment section – could it be that Emerson Hauser himself did a little time-jumping? Okay, okay, probably not, but you can’t blame me for wondering.

The address leads the gang to an abandoned high school, and wouldn’t you know it – there’s a lab inside, one that’s very familiar to us (note the dead mousey in the glass case). Madsen and Hauser notice that the lab smells like freshly cut grass, at which point I started screaming at the TV, ‘GET OUT!!!’ See, I thought that maybe there was still poison in the air…but I was wrong, everyone is fine. Bah.

Matching mini-LED flashlights! ADORABLE!

When Doc enters the lab and sees the dead mousey, he utters this sentence: ‘Whoa…what is it with scientists and mice?’ Which I HAVE to believe is another Lost reference. Right? RIGHT?

Ok, ok, so Daniel Faraday had a rat, not a mouse…

But take a moment to recall Faraday and his rat, Eloise (named after his mother)…a rat upon which he performed scientific experiments…experiments which resulted in unhinging the rat’s mind from the normal flow of time. In other words – time travel, just not in the usual sense. And on Alcatraz, we just happen to be dealing with 302 people who seem to have jumped 50 years into the future…

Okay, okay, I apologize. Call me crazy if you will – I DO think it was a reference.

Doc deciphers some of the gobbledy-gook on the lab chalkboard to figure out what it was that McKee was cooking up…seems it was something called phosgene, a chemical weapon from WWI that, in small amounts, tends to smell like cut hay or grass. Ding, ding, ding!!

This stuff turns into a gas at room temperature, and it’s water soluble – so it must be the poison he used in the pool. And since we’ve already seen him using it in its gaseous form, I’m guessing he’s gonna use it that way on his next outing.

Madsen catches sight of another notation on the chalkboard – that darn Jules Verne quote again, ‘the future is now.’ This leads her to whip out that clipping from McKee’s box, which discusses Verne’s prediction of an underwater subway tunnel in the San Francisco Bay…and conveniently, that tunnel now exists in real life. Madsen thinks that McKee is going to use it as a killing jar…for people.

Cut to a local subway train, where McKee – dressed as a transit worker – quickly knocks out the driver and proceeds to quietly take control of the train. Yikes.

Commercials! When we come back, we’re in 1960 – movie night on Alcatraz. McKee has saved a seat directly in front of him for Mr. Librarian, which doesn’t look too good for the bookworm. But then I notice who’s sitting NEXT to McKee…it’s Cullen, the big dog who told him to off the librarian. Yep, I see where this is going, don’t you? Johnny McKee has made a criminal career out of killing BULLIES…which the librarian certainly isn’t. But Cullen is.

CLANK-RATTLE-SLAM! Back in the present day, McKee’s commandeered subway train comes to a screeching halt. He begins to hook up his gas canisters full of phosgene to the vents…

CLANK-RATTLE-SLAM! Weeeeee! Back in 1960! As the movie comes to its conclusion, McKee appears to make his final preparations – he pulls the poisoned pig-sticker out of his book and leans forward toward the librarian…

And whatever happens next we don’t see, as we’re instead focused on Mamie Van Doren finishing up her big number…but once the lights come up, the prisoners start to leave – except for McKee and the librarian (whose name sounds something like Grendel, which would be an obvious call-out to the novel Beowulf).

McKee asks the librarian if he enjoyed the movie, and when he doesn’t respond, he leans forward to shake him. And what do you know…Grendel turns around, fine as can be! He enjoyed the movie immensely…much more so than Cullen, anyway, who is still asleep in his chair…oh wait a minute.

Victim of an unfortunate Alka-Seltzer incident.

Yep, Cullen is dead, alright. BAM! Pegged THAT one…though I think it was a rather obvious twist, don’t you? The guards line the remaining prisoners along the wall, and the librarian asks McKee who he think killed Cullen. To which Johnny replies, ‘could’ve been anybody – nobody likes a bully.’ Heh heh.

CLANK-RATTLE-SLAM! In the Alcatraz HQ, our justice league is doing some quick research on San Fran subway trains, when they notice that one of the lines that travels through the underwater tunnel is blinking red, meaning it has unexpectedly stopped. And they know exactly why. Off they go!

Meanwhile, on the train, McKee released the valve on the gas, and people start to lose their shit, thinking the car is on fire. Dummies. They panic and try in vain to open the subway car doors…luckily, that’s when Hauser and Madsen show up. Hauser quickly takes an emergency ax to the windows of the subway car, and the folks inside start to clamber out.

Madsen looks over her shoulder just in time to see a figure fleeing the scene – it’s McKee, who had been watching the festivities from inside the conductor’s car, but has now decided it’s high time to get the heck out of Dodge. Madsen runs after him.

She’s not so quietly sneaking down an underground tunnel when McKee gets the drop on her – once again showcasing just how inept a cop this chick is. I think this is like the 46th time we’ve seen her ambushed by a baddie.

But before Hauser can shoot the SOB, Madsen does manage to give McKee a good head-butt and escape his grasp. He runs into a nearby tunnel, where Madsen shoves him to the ground. He flips over, preparing to get up and run again…when he hits the third rail. For any of you who haven’t ridden a subway, the third rail is the one with all of the electricity coursing through it.

Oops.

He’s out cold, but not dead. Off to quasi-Alcatraz with you!!!

Later, at Alcatraz HQ, Doc tells Madsen that he’s got an idea about Ginny, the scabby girl in the photo from McKee’s cell. He’s found out that her facial burns were a result of being hit in the face with a bottle of acid dye…more specifically, a form of cyanide. So McKee actually CAUSED her scars – he wasn’t trying to protect her after all. But they’ve got no clue why he would’ve attacked her…lucky for us, we’ve got another way to shed some light on the subject.

CLANK-RATTLE-SLAM! In 1960, McKee is sequestered in Lucy’s office with her and the warden. They know Cullen was poisoned, so they’re pretty sure he was the culprit. Lucy wants to know more about McKee’s past…once again, he doesn’t seem willing to go along, but when the warden gives him a warning, he starts to open up.

Lucy asks about Ginny Winters – was she his girlfriend in high school? McKee says no, that they just went for one egg creme date – but that she was the prettiest girl in school. Lucy wants to know what happened after the date…but McKee says nothing happened. And no matter how many warnings the warden gives him, he won’t budge on this fact.

That is, until Lucy presents him with a story…one that she’s clearly dug up through other means. Apparently, after the egg cremes, Ginny Winters took Johnny McKee up to the roof of the school gym, where she kissed him and got him to take his clothes off. But it appears that Ginny wasn’t actually romantically interested in Johnny – because as soon as his clothes were off, the lights came on and there was the entire football team, laughing in McKee’s face and throwing firecrackers at him.

Worst part of it all…the cherry bombs those d-bags threw – some of them hit McKee in the crotch and blew his nards clean off. WOW. I’m sort of impressed that the show went there. Holy cow. So yeah…I kinda can’t blame the guy for wanting revenge against that bitch and those a-holes, can you?

Lucy tells a visibly stunned McKee that she can help him – she can take those horrible memories away, but in order for her to do that, he has to cooperate with her and tell her the whole truth. So he admits that the story she told was completely true, and that he burned Ginny’s face with acid as payback. He also tells Lucy that he was lying before about not dreaming – he does dream, and what he dreams about is Ginny’s face. And he actually seems pretty torn up about it.

Stop making me side with a baddie!!!

Time for the tag…Hauser shows up at quasi-Alcatraz, where Dr. B tells him that Jack Sylvane wants to talk with him. Sylvane gives the framed picture of his ex-wife to Hauser, telling him that he doesn’t want it – he doesn’t want to keep staring at pictures of dead people, thinking about a life he can never have. Poor Jack.

Sylvane wants to know what’s going to happen to him and his fellow ’63s. Hauser tells him that nothing’s changed – he was in prison in 1963, and he’s in prison now. But Sylvane tells him something interesting: ‘I’ve changed.’ When Hauser asks how he’s changed, Sylvane tells him that he no longer dreams. Could this possibly have something to do with Lucy’s attempts at wiping the prisoner’s memories?

Hauser leaves Sylvane and heads to Lucy’s room, where it appears he has a change of heart about reading to his comatose beloved. But when he picks up The Carpetbaggers, the cover falls off – revealing the book hidden beneath, The Metamorphoses of Ovid. A much more Lucy-ish book choice, I would think.

He looks quizzically at Dr. B, who says, ‘you didn’t really think I was serious about the pulp, did you?’ Not sure why Dr. Beauregard pull such a silly, unnecessary prank – just another part of his churlish and sadistic personality, I suppose.

Dr. B has enough courtesy to leave the room, and Emerson Hauser begins to read aloud to poor Lucy….and that, folks, is that.

What did you guys think? This episode certainly didn’t end in the usual exciting, cliff-hanger-y way, but I guess a change every now and then isn’t a terrible thing. Did you find it interesting to find yourself siding with the bad guy?

It seems to me that if these prisoners did indeed have some of their memories wiped, it may have also resulted in making their brains a bit of a blank slate – a perfect vehicle for brainwashing. Perhaps their memories were replaced with marching orders, of a sort. Or maybe it’s more simple…maybe when you take away that which drives us, you also remove what makes us human – you end up with an empty shell.

Ok, once I get that philosophical, I KNOW it’s time to stop. Hope you guys are enjoying the show, and I look forward to seeing you next week! XO

If you’d like to catch up with previous recaps, you can find them all here. Thanks for reading!!

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