A Bloody Good Time, Part I

Amazing Race

By B-Side | Thursday, March 31, 2005 | 12:49 am | 49 Comments

headwound Now THAT was a great episode! For all those who missed Tuesday night’s marathon Amazing Race installment, you sadly were deprived of two hours of pure, unadulterated excitement. Sure, there was a non-elimination round in the middle, but honestly, did anyone expect anything else? It’s pretty much a tradition now that whenever The Amazing Race enters Africa, the first Pit Stop is always non-elimination. That’s okay though. Unlike most viewers, I’m rarely upset by such rounds only because it means we get another week of racing madness, and in the case of this season, that’s a good thing. Tonight’s episode seemed to have it all: an intense Fast Forward, a gaping head wound, a scary car accident, and most importantly, an insanely close finish that easily ranks as one of the very best endings in Race history. So buckle up (Brian and Greg) and attach your hardhat (Gretchen). We’re going to relive it all over again…

Was that cheesy? It felt cheesy. Yeah, it probably was cheesy. Just… I don’ t know. Keep reading.The episode began with our controversial couple, Rob and Amber, leaving the Pit Stop in the wee hours of the morning. They were directed to catch a flight to Johannesburg, South Africa which we’ll assume is what Rob meant when he read “Yohannesburg.” [Editorial note: I'm officially an idiot. As a former student of Modern South Africa, I should have remembered that this was, in fact, the correct pronunciation. I've been living in L.A. too long...] As the two headed off, Rob reflected that “there has been a guardian angel looking out for Amber and I.” I’m not going to play the conspiracy card again, but man, it’s so damn easy.

Next up were the brothers — Greg and Brian. The two happily pointed out that they were the only team left that wasn’t in a relationship. Aren’t you guys overlooking your love affair with Urban Outfitters? Seriously, where would you be without your mandanas? Nevertheless, our friendly siblings arrived at the airport and purchased tickets for Africa. Was it just me or was Lynn pulling double duty as an airline employee? I probably was just seeing things — unless Lynn has a long lost twin who just happens to work at a South American ticketing counter. Talk about a small world!

I’m pretty sure that’s Lynn printing out tickets at the airport.

Ron and Kelly snagged a cab from the Pit Stop and immediately questioned whether or not they should stop at a travel agency. After some minor discussion, Kelly confirmed that they’d be going directly to the airport by patting the cabbie’s right shoulder. Luckily, she also said “Aeroporto” which is good because I’m pretty sure she accidentally tapped his “travel agency” shoulder. Man, doesn’t she know? If you ever want to go to the airport, always tap the cabbie’s LEFT shoulder.

Moments later, Alex and Lynn emerged from the Pit Stop, and after navigating around some unsightly poop (Oh Phil…), they soon joined the other teams at the airport. Sadly, my Lynn/airline employee theory proved to be incorrect, which meant I could toss that idea onto the junk pile of other fallen conjectures (you know, like “Yes, Dear will be off the air after two seasons” and “Paris Hilton might have a brain after all”). One theory I do still stand behind is that Ray and Deana continue to underwhelm in this otherwise colorful cast of characters. As the two piled into their taxi (driven by an enjoyably dressed-up cabbie), Ray continued to bitch and moan about being at the back of the pack and how he just couldn’t lose out to the old people. You know, all this guy does is complain. He doesn’t have that ticking timebomb intensity of Colin or that crazy, over-the-top stupidity of Jonathan Baker. Therefore, he serves no use to us. But at least he can always have a healthy freakshow career as the world’s first talking gorilla.

The last team to leave the starting gate was of course Gretchen and Meredith, our plucky seniors who’ve managed to carve out a niche for themselves as the perennial Amazing Race caboose. Upon hearing they’d be traveling to South Africa, Gretchen let out an excited “WHOA!” that was oddly reminiscent of Joey Lawrence on “Blossom”. You know, now that I think of it, if CBS ever does a celebrity Amazing Race, they should definitely cast Mayim Bialik.

Anyway, all the teams caught up with each other at the airport, and then it was off to Africa! CBS cut to some random stock footage most likely provided by the South African Tourism Board. Lions! Nature! Truth and Reconciliation Hearings! Oh wait, I accidentally flipped over to Frontline. Nevertheless, teams eventually arrived in Johannesburg and found the rare Fast Forward in the next clue box. Anyone antsy to skip ahead could drive to Soweto and traverse a rickety suspension bridge over a cooling tower thirty stories up. Needless to say, it looked like the scariest thing ever done on television. I mean, I know these shows always have people climbing over gorges and dropping from the sky, but there’s something so ominous and dark about crossing a cooling tower. It’s like a giant bottomless pit that’s just begging to swallow you up. I think cooling towers are the new boogeyman.

Anyway, teams not wanting to do the Fast Forward could instead opt for the Detour which was a choice between Tunnels or Tribes. In Tunnels, teams had to go spelunking in some caves (well, I guess that’s redundant. It’s not like you spelunk in a tree) to find the next clue. In Tribes, teams had to go to a cultural village and bring various items to the tribes who live there. Most teams headed off to the caves, but Lynn and Alex decided to hit up the cultural village. As they pulled out of the airport, Lynn remarked “I’m so glad Johannesburg is a real city. I was so afraid it would be chickens and camels and whatever.” I guess Lynn hadn’t been to J-Burg’s famed Chicken and Camel District.

The good news for us viewers was that Ray and Deana decided to go after the Fast Forward. I’m always up for anything that might send Deana to a dark, frightening death. Oh, I shouldn’t say that. I’m sure she’s a lovely woman. Still, it’ll be cool to see her shake like a dry leaf up there. Sweetening the deal was news that Ramber would be going for the Fast Forward as well. Excellent! This means that at least one asshole team will be screwed. Oh, but then again, logic told us that this was just a non-elimination round, so we shouldn’t get our hopes up too high. This of course begs the question: why put a Fast Forward on a non-elimination leg?

While we pondered these questions, Ray and Deana arrived at the cooling towers first, and holy shit this task is scary. I need a safety harness just to watch it. Amazingly, Rob and Amber arrived about ten minutes later and instead of turning around and heading for the Detour, they simply suited up, desperately hoping that Gorilla and Gazelle might give up on the challenge.

I guess you could call this daunting.

Meanwhile, over at the cultural village, Lynn and Alex were having a ball delivering items to the indigenous tribes. Enjoyable awkwardness ensued when a Zulu warrior pretended to stab Lynn and Alex. The two guys recoiled violently before exhaling in relief as they discovered their lives were not, in fact, in danger. It kind of felt like some deleted scene from The Birdcage.

Over at the caves, Ron and Kelly suited up for some groping in the dark. A woman tightened a harness around Ron’s groin, and as he smiled happily, she gave an extra tug, certainly providing him with an insta-wedgie. I suppose it wasn’t that significant of a scene, but anytime someone gets it in the balls, you’ve gotta laugh.

Back at the Fast Forward, Rob and Amber went crazy as they deliberated whether or not to stay or go to the Detour. I was personally amused at the tech crew outfitting the duo with harnesses and helmets. No, Rob didn’t get a wedgie like Ron, but while Amber was talking, some guy shoved a helmet onto her head, causing her hat to smother her face. They might as well have put a bucket over her head. Nevertheless, while Amber adjusted her hat, Rob implored her to make a decision for once: stay or leave? Amber simply looked at her fiancé blankly, as if to say “You do realize I got to where I am now by flying under the radar, right? I don’t do decisions. Tee hee!”

Hey, let’s check back in on the other teams. Let’s see, Ron and Kelly were crawling around in the caves. So were Brian and Gregg. Uchenna and Joyce were lost on the road again, and Lynn and Alex were greeting cows, literaly. Meanwhile, Meredith and Gretchen built a case for age limits on drivers licenses as the two wound up motoring down the wrong side of the road. After a near head-on collision, Gretchen cooed that after this commute, the spelunking would be a walk in the park. Or at least a walk, trip, and head wound in the park. But more on that later.

With Ray and Deana successfully completing the Fast Forward, Ramber was left with no other option than to find the Detour. Unfortunately for them, they became lost; so they stopped by a Soweto hospital to get some directions and hopefully 10cc’s of help from CBS (technically, the conspiracy theory was that CBS wanted to ensure Ramber would be in the first four episodes, so based on that, they’re on their own now — if you believe the rumor at all). Just when we thought Rob and Amber were finally hitting tough times, wouldn’t you know it? All the nurses and doctors recognize them from Survivor and leap to their aid. “These guardian angels along the way helped us so much because they recognize us,” explained Amber. Um, I think it’s less guardian angels and more like star-struck angels. I mean, the whole idea behind “guardian angels” is that some random event happens and you benefit from it. It’s not very random to receive help if you’re the star of a worldwide hit show. And if I may hop on my soapbox for a moment, although Rob and Amber make terrific TV and certainly have added a great element into the mix this season, at the end of the day, they do sort of have an unfair advantage over other teams simply because of their celebrity. Some might argue that their celebrity also makes them the target of animosity, but, well, we’ve yet to see that play a factor. Who knows, maybe a Yield will have me eating my words.

Down in the caves, Brian and Greg slithered through some tight crevasses and took the moment to reflect on some childhood memories. “If you can’t handle me stuffin’ you in a sleeping bag when you were little,” started one of them before trailing off. Man, these guys are such brothers. I kind of feel badly bashing them. They seem so happy and nice, especially with all their brotherly fist bumps. Later, as they emerged from the caves, one of them pointed out the oily gunk on their faces from crawling around underground. “Spelunking war paint,” one said, causing the other to reply “You look like Braveheart, dude.” Yes, he did look like Braveheart, assuming Braveheart had fallen into a cave.

Meanwhile, Lynn and Alex were still running around their tribes. I wasn’t quite sure what was taking them so long, but at least they seemed to be having a good time. Upon arriving at a bright, clean, and colorful tribe, the guys noted that it was like the “Beverly Hills of the villages.” Well, minus all the wealth and opulence. But that’s okay. I can appreciate the analogy.

Meredith and Gretchen finally arrived at the caves, and as our plucky grandma lowered into the abyss, she called out “Goodbye cruel world!” Technically, if we were to take her joke seriously, was she implying that she was going down to hell? Surely I thought she’d be heading to the Pearly Gates, but I guess Gretchen has some skeletons in her closet. I don’t know this for sure, but I’m just gonna say it anyway: double homicide.

While the old fogeys descended to the subterranean depths, Ray and Deana checked in at the Pit Stop, winning two Toyota Rav 4s in the process. Yes, check out your shiny new cars. They’re just over there, next to the impoverished household struggling to put food on the table. Anyway, the two winners seemed quite happy, but I couldn’t help noticing Deana’s Quasimodo-ish stature as she stood hunched over with her right eye half closed and twitching. I half expected her to go running off in search of a church bell to ring.

Ray and the Hunchback of The Amazing Race

Back at the caves, Meredith and Gretchen emerged sans clue. They mistakenly thought that if they had crawled all the way through, they’d receive the clue. But no. The clues were underground. “Imagine if we fell here,” said Meredith cockily before returning to the cave. Yes. Imagine. Well, about two seconds later, we saw Gretchen’s head disappear behind a rock followed by what sounded like a pigeon dying. Turns out Gretchen had taken a nasty spill. Gretchen down! Gretchen down! The paramedics soon swooped in and we saw Gretchen in all her bloody glory. Honestly, she looked like a horror show as blood streamed down her face. “I’ve been wanting a face lift for a long time, ” she said happily, causing Meredith to reply “Face lift? But I thought we agreed you’d do your boobs first, honey. Oh, you were joking? Um, never mind.”

Well, the medics soon wrapped Gretchen up like a mummy and sent her packing. As she and Meredith headed for Soweto, she feared that she wouldn’t be presentable for the market. So self conscious! Just because your head is wrapped in bandages, you’ve got dried blood on your face, and your shirt is covered with grease doesn’t mean that you’ll stick out. Check that. She’ll look like an escaped mental patient. That’s okay. I know how she felt. When I had my wisdom teeth taken out, I went into the pharmacy to get my painkillers, and with dried blood on my lips and cheeks rapidly swelling at an alarming pace, I kind of looked like a cannibal about to blow chunks. Needless to say, talking to the old lady at the pharmacy was incredibly embarrassing.

Meanwhile, Ron and Kelly and Brian and Greg finished up the Roadblock and headed to the orphanage to deliver the goods. The children screamed with delight as teams entered, but they were particularly happy to see Brian and Greg who ran in there as if they were rock stars. It was a sweet moment, even if it was a tad silly on the brothers’ part. Outside the orphanage, Ron and Kelly got directions to the Pit Stop which was by a scenic overlook of… a mangy field and some dilapidated houses? Okay, it wasn’t the prettiest place, but it was the former residence of Nelson Mandela, and that’s got to count for something. Anyway, after getting directions from a local, Kelly raised her hand up in a “gimme five, up high!” gesture that was sadly not returned immediately, causing that awkward moment everyone dreads as your arm just dangles in the air. I half expected Kelly to bark “Come on, bro. Don’t leave me hangin’! Show a sister some love!” Sadly, this didn’t happen, but the guy did put her out of her misery, giving her a lame pity high-five.

High five! High five! Come on, this is getting awkward. High five!

The former beauty queen and POW arrived at the Pit Stop second where Phil chided them by saying “I’ve seen you guys look cleaner.” Sorry PHIL. I guess they forgot to take a shower in between the transatlantic flight and the greasy cave spelunking. Besides, if he wants dirty, all he has to do is wait for Gretchen, aka Mummy Dearest.

Back at the market, dimwitted Amber seemed unable to locate any of the items on her Roadblock list. Yes, it can be so hard to find toys and shirts and towels in a market. They are such rare commodities. Luckily for her, another one of those “guardian angels” found her and offered help. Wow, with all these people offering up their services, you’d almost think these two were already famous. Oh wait…

Anyway, Ramber and their new friend moved on to the orphanage and then the Pit Stop where they came in fifth after Deana and Ray, Ron and Kelly, Brian and Greg, and Lynn and Alex. Rob and Amber were kind enough to share their Pit Stop moment with their guardian angel, but unfortunately, no BoSox hats were doled out as a thank you gesture. We never found out what happened to that random girl, but chances are she went home and was instantly ridiculed.

Hey look, it’s King Tut, and he’s shopping! Oh wait, it’s just Gretchen. Never mind.

Hey, mummies have to shop too.

Remember Uchenna and Joyce? Well, they really didn’t do much that was too remarkable this hour, but we knew the orphanage in South Africa would really hit home for them. Unfortunately, the moment was so rushed, the producers weren’t able to get the full emotional response out of Uchenna and Joyce that they wanted (flashbacks to Gus crying in Africa last season. Wow, I’m already tearing up again). When the couple checked in, Phil was sure to ask Joyce how she felt about the orphanage, and sure enough, we got those waterworks. I could just imagine Phil off camera rubbing his palms together and laughing maniacally “Cry! CRY! LET THE SALT OF YOUR TEARS FEED MY SOUL!”

Anyhoo, Gretchen and Meredith arrived last, but I wasn’t too concerned. This was, after all, the halfway mark on a two hour episode. Surely this would be a non-elimination round. Sure enough, it was. The couple had to hand over all their money, and in a new twist, fork over all their belongings too. Yes, Meredith and Gretchen had to lose everything except their passports and the clothes on their backs. Ouch, that’s gotta hurt. Actually, it might not be that bad. Now they don’t have to worry about heavy bags anymore. I guess it will really only hurt if they move to a cold climate or need to camp out by a door overnight. Yeah, they’re pretty much screwed.

But would they be able to bounce back?

In an effort to not make this post any more of a novel, I’m going to end here and begin Part II of the evening in a new post. This is exciting, right? A blogging cliffhanger of sorts.

To Be Continued…

Comments (49)
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49 Comments

1

TARFAN

Posted March 31, 2005 at 1:51 am

First time posting…here goes…

Romber is just…fun. Rob may be dumb as a stump, but he does keep outwitting, outlasting and outplaying the other racers! That being said, I’d rather the brothers win in the end! They are a great team too!

Alex and Lynn are just annoying. I can’t stand to hear them whine about Romber all the time. C’mon guys, stop wasting your breath and RACE!

Last comment: Romber had reason to stick around the cooling tower to see if Ray and Deana would actually FINISH it. Let’s not forget, this was the girl who could barely ride a horse in another challenge. I was sure she wouldn’t make it to the other side of that flimsy bridge!
2

Soriner

Posted March 31, 2005 at 3:08 am

Best AR episode EVAR.

Anyway, I’m sad you didn’t link to a video clip of one of the orphans chucking a ball at some poor unsuspecting other orphan and nailing him in the head. There’s nothing better to get me laughing than an orphan concussion.

What kind of crap was that that Ray and Deana got two cars…especially when Lynn and Alex got jack when they actually completed the whole leg rather than skipping to the end.

Ramber should have absolutely left immediately when they saw that someone else was already attempting the challenge. This wasn’t the type of challenge that someone was not going to do. Sure it looked scary, but they did have safety harnesses and all.

Finally, I think between Patrick’s monster bandage on his head and Deanna’s mysterious droopy eye, I think AR owes it to us to explain the contestants’ bizarre offscreen injuries.
3

huh?

Posted March 31, 2005 at 4:48 am

“which we’ll assume is what Rob meant when he read ‘Yohannesburg.’”

That is actually how it is pronounced. Just like Budapest is properly pronounced “Budapesht.”
4

Plumes

Posted March 31, 2005 at 5:54 am

“Yoannesburgh” is the correct pronunciation. whoops – Huh? just said the same thing.

Nice mural on the Nuclear cooling tower, makes it look so folksy and nice. Artists for the Beautification of 3 Mile island unite.

Is Ray related to Bolo? BoloRay is an absolute moron.

You missed the line when one of the brothers admonished the cute little orphans to ” Dont Do Drugs”

I believe the POW was dirtier than that in Bagdhad.

Also, what about that little tiff with Rob and Lynn(e). Will Rob kick the crap out of that self important litle blow-hard?

What will happen next, I cant wait.

PS saw a note on Reality Blurred – That Survivor Mountain Man, Rupert Bonehead and his loving, adoring family will be on the next AR…
5

TinkerbellAPixie

Posted March 31, 2005 at 6:27 am

I was almost disappointed to see Ray and Deanne go only because it was interesting to see what she would look like next. Each time you saw her she had a new affliction. First a swollen eye, then a split lip. Made me wonder if Ray was beating Deanne for all her whining and CBS decided not to show it after all the JV hoopla.

You don’t want to cross the tower “BAM!” you’ll cross it now! Run faster “Smack” Faster I tell you! I don’t care if we won the fast forward we still have to beat the old people “Pow!” now run.
6

America's Next Top Fan

Posted March 31, 2005 at 6:36 am

I loved it when Gretchen learned she had to go back into THE CAVE to get the clue. She looked like Sigourney Weaver when she realized she had to go back into the bowels of the nuclear cooling plant to rescue the little girl in Aliens.

I also loved everyone calling Meredith a girl. funny.

Surprisingly all of the contestants are growing on me including Ron & Kelly. And yeah, I passed a tear for Uchenna & Joyce too.
7

winkie

Posted March 31, 2005 at 6:37 am

CBS conspiracy!!!! Did anyone else notice that when Ramber did the water challenge that the little guy already had the hole dug for them and put the eggs in the hole for them, but when the brothers did the same challenge, they had to dig their own hole and put the eggs in themselves? That took way more time, which could have cost them the race.

I smell a rat! A big giant one with a football eye in the middle of its head.
8

Nixah

Posted March 31, 2005 at 6:50 am

I’m convinced now that Romber’s guardian angel is in fact CBS. Whenever those two half-wits encounter a problem you hear a person (off camera) say, “Amber?” Then the individual whisks on screen to help dumb & dumber with their task. What bullshit.

I demand a refund. Oh wait..
9

Catie

Posted March 31, 2005 at 6:56 am

Winkie, Rob dug the hole while Amber filled up the eggs and then they covered them together. I’m not the hugest fan of Ramber, but they didn’t have help from the guy.
10

Huck

Posted March 31, 2005 at 7:03 am

For what its worth I think Rob and Amber add a little more excitement to the game.. As for the people I want to win, I think the brothers are the best of the teams.. its too bad what happens to them in the next episode…

And for those of us that want to see the Worlds Wildest Amazing Race Videos… well I think that is what next week is for…

B-side I am also surprised you didnt comment on the Ron “When I was in the Army” quote once again.
11

Kate

Posted March 31, 2005 at 7:10 am

At least someone else noticed that most of the teams don’t know if Meredith or Gretchen is the man….they kept saying “there’s Meredith and what’s his name”….Glad to see they’re getting to know the other teams that well!

Oh, and you left out my favorite quote from the brothers. As they’re getting ready to go into the cave one of them says “we’re spelunking….I just like saying that!”
12

Cubah

Posted March 31, 2005 at 7:11 am

Great show last night. Most priceless moment for me tho’ was at the water towers when Rob prods Amber to make a decision. “Can you do that?” Amber’s absolutely blank/dumb look with a tinge of “I’ll get you for this” was priceless!
13

voo

Posted March 31, 2005 at 7:14 am

I am down with the conspiracy theory but I certainly don’t think Rob is as dumb as everyone wants to believe. Amber is another story. He figured out the whole “tribes” thing no problem and he was smart enough to think of digging the hole ahead of time. Amber is a lame duck. She s just riding his coattails.
Seriously though, you have to give credit to Gretchen. She IS plucky. Always a joke never any pessimism. I am impressed.
14

SusieQ

Posted March 31, 2005 at 7:19 am

Rob and Amber have their faults, and his usual impish behavior sometimes crosses the line to being nasty for no good reason. But the people who hate them so much that they assume things happened that contradict what we saw on screen (like the idea that the guy dug the hole for Rob and Amber when we saw Rob working on it) are just ridiculous. Feel free not to like them and to root against them, but don’t become total idiots consumed by inexplicable, self-righteous rage like Lynn and Alex and Patrick have done.
15

hazasaem

Posted March 31, 2005 at 7:27 am

1st) This is my favorite new website, I found it be accident and now I’m addicted.
2nd) The Amazing Race is my favorite show and I missed Tuesdays episode because we were flying back from vacation. After missing it, I was hoping the summary would be detailed, sarcastic and full of barbs for Rob and Amber. THANK YOU for delivering, it was almost as good as being able to actually watch it!
16

SusieQ

Posted March 31, 2005 at 7:43 am

Rob and Amber have their faults, and his usual impish behavior sometimes crosses the line to being nasty for no good reason. But the people who hate them so much that they assume things happened that contradict what we saw on screen (like the idea that the guy dug the hole for Rob and Amber when we saw Rob working on it) are just ridiculous. Feel free not to like them and to root against them, but don’t become total idiots consumed by inexplicable, self-righteous rage like Lynn and Alex and Patrick have done.
17

Brian

Posted March 31, 2005 at 7:50 am

Me likey Gretchen more and more every episode. I think this is at least 3 episodes in a row that have been named for the cheerful grany’s cheeky quips (“Do You Need Some Mouth to Mouth”, “What A Goucho You Are”, “I’ve Been Wanting A Face Lift For A Long Time”). Plus, it was great how she sat there with a gaping head wound and implored Meredith to get the freakin clue.

These two are my favorite AR geezers ever!
18

Plumes

Posted March 31, 2005 at 7:59 am

Comment – Ain’t it amazing that they haven’t figured out how to dig a well…
19

Sammy

Posted March 31, 2005 at 8:00 am

I’m so glad someone else noticed the orphan chucking the soccer ball at the other orphan’s head…right after Rob gave his obligatory “be good/stay out of trouble” yell at them. And yet again I found myself staring at Phil’s crotch…Bring on part 2…
20

mindybob

Posted March 31, 2005 at 8:02 am

Um, SusieQ? Lighten up! This is all in fun . . .
21

Kirby

Posted March 31, 2005 at 8:11 am

Thanks for mentioning the Birdcage. Lynne is Nathan Lane to a “t”.

Also, I kinda think Gretchen sounds like Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo. Hidee Ho!
22

SusieQ

Posted March 31, 2005 at 9:07 am

Um, mindybob, I know. Yet people rail against Rob and Amber as if the way they act in a race is going to destroy western civilization! It’s going to take far more than Rob and Amber on TAR to destroy western civilization–but Rupert on TAR Family Edition might just do it.
23

tar-addict

Posted March 31, 2005 at 10:02 am

I laughed so hard when that ball went flying over and hit the kid on the head.

“Meredith and what’s his name”…that was great.

Brian and Greg have to win this!!!!
24

Chris

Posted March 31, 2005 at 10:09 am

They have not finished casting family AR yet, and thus there is no way to know whether the Boneham family will be on it, although with this being AR highest rated season, it’s not a stretch to see other reality stars on the show…hopefully Richard Hatch and his money woes will join Sue Hawk if he’s not in prison. As for this show, Gretchen has guts, yelling at Meredith to get the clue as she is bleeding, and Ramber are fun to watch and I hope they win. The brothers are always in the end of the pack and not smart enough to be anything but the endearing clowns who lose (miss those clowns)!
25

Kristin V.

Posted March 31, 2005 at 10:21 am

Hilarious. I went to Auburn with Greg.
26

Catie

Posted March 31, 2005 at 10:23 am

Wait, their last name is Boneham?

And Sam, can you call me next week so I’ll remember to look at Phil’s crotch? I already deleted this week’s episode off Tivo, so I have no crotch footage. I can’t believe I keep forgetting!
27

mountain girl

Posted March 31, 2005 at 10:25 am

So I had to stop and rewind the kid getting hit in the head a couple of times just because it was so good.

I’m starting to really like the brothers as well. With or without the manbanas…preferrably without.

Ah, the Evil Genius and his sidekick Waste-of-Space. So, on the CBS conspiracy – if these two already have the Survivor money AND if CBS really is going to air their wedding (you know that they are getting bank for that) too, wouldn’t it make sense that if the conspiracy exists it is to simply keep them in the race but not win? Do you really think that CBS would fix it to give even more of their money? Me thinks not…

B-Side, great recap as always. Can’t wait to finish part 2!
28

moonman

Posted March 31, 2005 at 10:28 am

I think something odd is going on with Lynn and Alex and CBS. They are the only team to not get anything for first place. I know there was a yeild on that leg, but isn’t a fast forward more help than a yeild? (And no one used the yeild.) It was also a closer race with Lynn and Alex and the second place team, than between Bolo jr and his doll and the rest of the racers this week.
29

America's Next Top Fan

Posted March 31, 2005 at 10:51 am

Catie, you can’t miss Phil’s crotch. It practically screams “Down here. I’m down here on your left hand side. There, you found me.” It’s hard to ignore even if you wanted to.
30

B-Rock

Posted March 31, 2005 at 10:54 am

B-Side, thank you for also noticing the squinty, blinking eye of Deana. It was like that the entire episode and it was driving my husband and me crazy! We must find out what happened…

I hate to go against you, but I love the brothers – when one of them told the kids “Don’t Do Drugs” I laughed my ass off.

But I do agree with you on one point, CBS = Guardian Angel. I think that’s Ramber’s way of telling us they’re getting help from CBS without coming right out and saying it. It’s amazing how every time they get into trouble someone immediately yells, “Amber!” (great observation by above poster). IT’S ALL A BIG SHAM!!!
31

Jess

Posted March 31, 2005 at 11:14 am

I, too, need to watch specifically next week for Phil’s crotch. I was too caught up in looking for his manboobs.

I love the WeHo’s, and Gretchen/Meredith warm my heart.
32

MediaGirl

Posted March 31, 2005 at 11:36 am

B-Side: I’m literally checking TVGasm every 10 minutes or so to see when Part II will be posted…. I’m sure my employer would be happy to know. Don’t leave us hanging!
33

Catie

Posted March 31, 2005 at 11:45 am

Maybe someone should post a photo of Phil’s crotch, for those of us that haven’t noticed his bulge. Anyone want to volunteer?
34

alohaguy

Posted March 31, 2005 at 11:59 am

Phill’s crotch? Manboobs? Thrilled with head wounds? Love the Quasimoto eye? LOL when orphans get kicked by a ball…I love it…we’re all going to hell….
35

SusieQ

Posted March 31, 2005 at 11:59 am

Moonman, did the winners (Ron and Kelly) of the end of this week’s episode (the 2nd leg of the 2 hours) get something? I don’t think so. I think when they arrived, instead of talking prizes Phil told them they got to sleep outside on those cots. Not quite as nice as a trip or a car! So if I’m remembering correctly then that’s 2 non-prize legs. Amber and Rob have won 2 prize legs, and 2 now-eliminated teams each won a prize leg. I would imagine those are set out ahead of time like the non-elimination legs.
36

smithie

Posted March 31, 2005 at 12:25 pm

I felt so bad for Meredith when Gretchen fell, he sounded so heartbroken. They are such a cute old couple.

Also the orphan throwing the ball was hilarious! Tivo slow mo was made for precisely those occasions.

I also noticed the eye, I wanted to punch her in the other one so she would match…

I still luvs me my Ramber! I loved when Rob called her out to make a decision. That was awesome. I can’t wait until Alex and Lynn lose. I just hope it’s before Rob and Amber. So they can’t be all excited when Ramber loses.
37

mountain girl

Posted March 31, 2005 at 12:35 pm

Catie – I’m with you. Unfortunately, I’m thoroughly bored at work so the frequency of my check ins/refreshes is a little higher.
38

Betsy

Posted March 31, 2005 at 12:47 pm

First of all I am just so relieved to know that there are others out there who can’t keep their eyes off of Phils package. Every week it’s like my eyes are just drawn down there and I try to be respectiful of Phil and not look but it’s right there. So glad to know I am not alone in this.

Secondly, cant wait for the next re-cap.

Thanks B-side!
39

Brian

Posted March 31, 2005 at 1:32 pm

It’s a little like being invited to someone’s house for dinner and then whining because dinner is late, BUT…. I’ll say it anyway:

I NEED PART 2!!!!!!!!!!!!! B-Side, you are a re-cap tease! (Great job, per usual, on Part 1)
40

Jrach

Posted March 31, 2005 at 2:35 pm

What’s the problem with Rob and Amber? I love them
and I’m a Yankees fan!!
41

snarko

Posted March 31, 2005 at 4:05 pm

Dude…
Deana’s flapping wings as she crossed the bridge didn’t even get a mention from you this week. Maybe you were throwing up in your mouth just a little at the time and missed it. You are lucky in that case.
42

Catie

Posted March 31, 2005 at 4:21 pm

Rob has made me realize that I could never date a guy who makes my name sound like a retard is saying it. “Ambuh” Horrible.
43

Sammy

Posted March 31, 2005 at 4:29 pm

my boyfriend busted me looking at “the bulge” on phil, only to then be busted later on in the evening for looking at it himself….one of the finer moments in our relationship….
44

smithie

Posted March 31, 2005 at 5:49 pm

Okay so I have about 3 more minutes until i can slip out from work and not be noticed, so I was killing time and read this:

Each leg of the race has a YIELD point. Teams must stop at the YIELD location to do two things before continuing along the course: 1) They must check to see if they have been YIELDed by another team; 2) If no Team has been YIELDed, they must decide whether to use the YIELD or not. If a Team is YIELDed, they must turn over the hourglass and wait until all the sand runs out before they may continue with the race. A Team may use the YIELD to stop another Team only once throughout the entire course of the race. However, there is no limit to the number of times that a Team can be YIELDed by the other Teams.

If I’m reading correctly there is a yield on every leg? Why don’t they show us that? Why aren’t people yielding anyone?
Who knew?
45

suebee

Posted March 31, 2005 at 9:06 pm

Phil says there are only two yields on the entire race.
46

Soriner

Posted March 31, 2005 at 11:01 pm

Yielding is awful. The Amazing Race is a great show because it is merit based. You win or lose based mostly on how well you play and what decisions you make.

The Yield encourages teams to purposely target better racers. It becomes a “race to the bottom” where stronger teams may be eliminated, and weaker ones allowed to continue on.
47

smithie

Posted April 1, 2005 at 11:56 am

I got that paragraph from the CBS website, I’m gonna have to send an email. I hate conflicting things…
48

Race Addict

Posted April 4, 2005 at 3:17 pm

Hey, I’m a first time poster, and a huge fan of this site. About the scene with Rob telling Amber to make a decision at the Fast Forward, I am suprised we didn’t hear in the background “Amber! You’re from Survivor! Do you need help making a decision?” CBS just might be helping them so they won’t lose their best entertainment team. By the way, go Uchenna and Joyce!
49

Race Addict

Posted April 4, 2005 at 3:24 pm

Sorry, tar-addict. I didn’t realize that there is someone who has a name so close to mine. I’ll change my name.

A Bloody Good Time, Part I

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A Bloody Good Time, Part I

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