A Classic Amazing Race

Amazing Race

By B-Side | Friday, April 14, 2006 | 12:12 am | 45 Comments

ar4-12-06cIt was all about the classics last night as The Amazing Race journeyed from Rome to Athens, all in the name of retracing the great roots of democracy. Well, it was either that or just a really nifty way to tie in some product placement for The Da Vinci Code. We’ve seen plenty of product placement on the Race, and we’ve only just recently grown accustomed to the garish presence of the Travelocity Roaming Gnome, but this week’s unabashed shilling for The Da Vinci Code was shameless. And hilarious. Both, actually. Maybe next week teams will have to capsize a giant cruise ship to promote The Poseidon Adventure. Or maybe they’ll go to Chernobyl for X3. Or maybe they’ll just go to a local psych ward in honor of MI: III and its loopy star, Tom Cruise. Hey, sounds like a perfect way to boost ratings. Bertram Van Munster — you might want to start reading this blog…This week’s mad journey started in Sicily with Jeremy and Eric happily leaving the Pit Stop first. They learned they’d have to take a train all the way to Rome, head to the famous Trevi Fountain, and then fine a man in a red and yellow scooter. I’m sure this excited the duo. Let’s not forget what happened last time they took a train: a certain German named Johan delighted them for hours on end. Would Italy yield its own version of Johan? Perhaps an adventurous young man named Giuseppe? Or Aldo? Or Guido? The possibilities were endless!

Anyway, Eric then told us about how he and Jeremy had been entertaining themselves along the race. “It’s more fun to tease ourselves,” he said. And yes, I’m sure that was a reference to “striptease.” Okay, okay. I’m just kidding. Clearly they were referring to “cocktease.”

Next out of the gate were the Hippies, and they were followed by Monica and Joseph, who were still recovering from the mental trauma that was hauling swordfish around a market. “This race at times makes me feel like I’m going crazy,” Monica confessed. Other things that make Monica feel like she’s going crazy: tin foil, grapefruits, and dandelions.

Nevertheless, Mojo hopped into their car and headed to the train station, with Monica complaining, “Oh, it smells like dead fish in here.” Yeah, that’s probably due to the DEAD FISH you were carrying yesterday. In other news, my TV smelled like IDIOT.

Speaking of future Nobel Prize winners, Jeremy and Eric arrived at the train station, and guess what? It didn’t open until 4 AM. Ah yes. The great Amazing Race equalizer. And so Jeric hung tight while all the other teams slowly arrived. Back at the Pit Stop, Fran and Barry headed off to the train station, and they were followed by Lake and Michelle, and out of the gate, the two were bickering. Michelle claimed that she had given Lake directions, but he insisted that she hadn’t. “You never handed it to me, bitch! Now, shut up!!!” he yelled. Hey hey! Would Rhett Butler ever say that to Scarlett? I personally was surprised that he didn’t scream, “DANG GUMMIT, BITCH! SHUT YOUR DANG GUMMIT MOUTH!!!”

Bringing up the rear of the pack were Ray and Yolanda, who had the daunting task of moving up in the ranks. Ray noted, “Now we have to play the game from the bottom up.” AGAIN. Try not to get lost this leg.

Eventually, everyone arrived at the train station where Lake was hyper as usual. “I think he’s bipolar,” Eric scoffed. This probably made Jeremy laugh, only because he heard the word “pole” in there. Well, the teams all hopped on their train, and after a little diagram showed their route through Italy, we then arrived in Rome. Everyone poured out into the train station, yelling “TREVI FOUNTAIN!” to any man, woman, dog, and pretzel they could find. Lake, it should be noted, had shaved on the train and now looked even more like Phil than ever before. I didn’t know if it was a smart move. After all, there’s only room for one Phil Keoghan on this show. There will be repercussions…

Well, no sooner than you could say “Oy,” Ray and Yolanda were already lost in the station. They couldn’t find the Metro for the life of them. Jeric, meanwhile, efficiently navigated through the Roman public transportation and arrived at the Trevi Fountain in no time. The guy in the scooter told them to then find some horse carriages by the famed Spanish Steps. There they’d find some mysterious portfolios. It all looked so very Detour-ish. Little did I know that inside those leather-bound portfolios was this season’s most glaring piece of product placement yet. “In the spirit of the upcoming movie, The Da Vinci Code” Phil said as he introduced the next clue. My eyes: rolling.

Anyway, in those portfolios were sketches of Da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man, or as the Hippies later called it, the “Naked Man.” Teams had to take the portfolios, find other sketches, and crack a code (how very Dan Brown of them!). The first duo to take the completed code to the Pit Stop would win a prize. Well, Jeric snatched up their Vitruvian Man, or as they call it, “eye candy,” and headed to their next destination: Athens, Greece! Whoohoo! There, they’d have to make their way to the Agora to find their next clue. This was all very exciting — until I realized that the only reason why the teams had ventured to Rome was literally to plug The Da Vinci Code. That’s a bit disheartening.

While Jeric zipped off to the airport, we then checked back in on Mojo where Monica was having a profound revelation: “To walk in the same places as Caesar and all those people is incredible.” Yes, Monica, and you carry on that tradition so well. I’m sure Caesar would be proud to know that his legacy has been maintained by you. Later, while eating a Caesar salad, Monica said, “It’s really amazing to think that I’m eating the very same salad that Caesar once ate. It just really puts things in perspective.”

Soon everyone had found their portfolios and had cracked the code — which said something dumb like “You cracked the Da Vinci code!” or whatever. We then caught up with Raylonda as they traveled to the airport. Ray was quite excited by Rome, mostly because of the sweet ass stores he had seen downtown. I would have been impressed more by, you know, the rich cultural and political history of the city. But yeah, seeing The Gap of Rome is cool too.

Well, at the airport, everyone wound up on the same 7:25 PM flight to Athens, which meant another healthy dose of equalization. The teams then flew to their Hellenic destination, and here’s a surprise: Fran and Barry were first out of the airport. “We’re feeling pretty good,” they said. Yeah, we’ll see how you’re feeling when you walk by the next clue box twelve times in a row.

Later, on the open road, Mojo continued to have Deep Thoughts. “This is where thinking began!” Monica said, thus proving that this is where thinking ended too. Let’s just say, I don’t think Monica’s ancestors were necessarily part of the whole Greek/thinking revolution.

In the next car over, Yolanda saw Mojo and dismissed them by saying, “I’m not sure there’s a lot going on there.” I personally took offense to that comment. I mean, Yolanda, hello! Monica is a very bright woman. She knows where THINKING BEGAN! Literally. Thinking.

Because two equalizers are never enough, the teams then arrived at the Agora and learned that it wouldn’t open until 8 AM the next morning. Oh well. Time to get some shut-eye. Or, if you’re Monica, time to soak in all that thinking-ness of the city. The next morning, teams busted into the Agora and grabbed their clue. But this wasn’t any normal clue. This was a clue with a (drumroll) Fast Forward! Yay! Teams electing to do this task had to travel to a nearby restaurant and perform that most stereotypical of Greek rituals: breaking plates. There were piles and piles and piles of plates, and baked into one was a little red and yellow marker. Whichever team found the marker would get the Fast Forward. Personally, I always a cringe a tad when I see people breaking plates. It’s not that I dislike destruction and chaos. I just always think of Jack Tripper and that night the Greek family broke all his dishes, forcing his restaurant to go into the red. What a sad day for Jack. What a sad day for America.

Those teams opting not to take the Fast Forward had to travel BY TRAIN to the town of Corinth where they’d find their next clue. Well, surely I thought Raylonda would leap for the Fast Forward, but they played it safe and hopped on a train along with Lake and Michelle and BJ and Tyler. The others — Jeric, Mojo, Frankenberry — all attempted the Fast Forward. Well, I should say that Jeric and Mojo attempted the Fast Forward while Fran and Barry attempted to attempt the Fast Forward. For some reason, the elderly couple took forever to reach the Fast Forward tavern, and so we really only saw the other teams breaking plates. Joseph, by the way, seemed to take out all his rage on each little plate as he hurled them across the room with a deep-seeded anger. This may have been therapeutic, but it wasn’t helpful because ultimately, Jeric found the Fast Forward. In celebration, the two frat guys then grabbed all the plates and smashed them on the floor. Yay broken plates! The guys then headed off to the Fortress of Rion where the next Pit Stop was located. In the car, Jeremy then noticed his finger was all bloody. “Dang dude,” he said, “I cut myself up, dude.” Here’s an idea: next time, don’t unnecessarily shatter 300 plates at once.

Meanwhile, Fran and Barry finally showed up at the Fast Forward, only to discover that it had already been found (seriously, where had they been?). They and Mojo were now at a serious disadvantage because the other teams had already left on a train. Things got even worse for Monica and Joseph when they couldn’t even hail a cab. I don’t know why the drivers kept avoiding them. Maybe they were too busy thinking — you know — because Greece IS where thinking began.

Believe it or not, we then paused for our FIRST commercial break, and when we came back, Monica and Joseph resolved to simply take a bus to the train station. On the ride over, Monica then began to cry — memories of swordfish possibly coming back to her — but her spirits lifted when she discovered that she was on the same train as Frankeberry. There was hope after all! No need for stinkin’ thinkin’. Hmmm… if Greece was the birthplace of thinking, was it also the home of stinking thinking? Monica should really investigate that.

Meanwhile, on the other train, Lake and Michelle, the Hippies, and Raylonda all disembarked prematurely. Turns out they got off at the wrong station, but rather than wait for the next train to come by, they decided to hop on a bus and drive to the next stop. Keep in mind that the clue said “travel by train.” Suddenly, things were getting quite interesting.

Well, with this whole train snafu, everyone wound up at the next clue at about the same time, and guess what? It was the Roadblock! “Who wants to hear the sound of their own screams,” is what the clue said (or something like that). Yes, it was bungee time on The Amazing Race, and we suddenly saw Phil standing above a canal, carefully tethered at the waist in case a gust of wind were to blow him off to an untimely PhilDeath™. I personally was hoping we’d then see Phil take the big leap, but alas, he stayed safe and sound high above the water.

ar4-12-06b

Anyway, everyone seemed to be psyched about this Roadblock — everyone but Fran, that is. She didn’t want to bungee jump. In fact, that was the ONE thing she didn’t want to do on the race. Hey Fran, when you approached this bridge high above the ground and saw that the clue said “Who wants to hear the sound of their own screams,” maybe you should have handed it over to Barry. Just saying.

The first one to take the plunge was Ray, and after the obligatory shots of him screaming and falling and whooping and whatnot, he then received the next clue which was the Detour. Yes, back to back challenges. This week’s options were “Herculean Effort” and “It’s All Greek To Me.” In the first choice, teams had to complete three events from the ancient Olympics: discus, javelin, and wrestling. In “It’s All Greek To Me,” teams had to enter an archeological site, search the area for random Greek letters, have some guys in togas translate those letters, and then use those letters to spell a location on a map. Unsurprisingly, Raylonda chose the Herculean effort, as did the Hippies who proudly exclaimed, “Dude, we’re gonna compete in the Olympics!” And with that, the Olympics were sullied forever.

Back at the Roadblock, it was time for Fran to bungee jump, and she could not have been more nervous. The poor woman was shaking and crying, and after a commercial break, she finally hopped off the platform, letting out a deep, guttural, heaving sound in the process. I felt really badly for her. But on the plus side, now I know what it would sound like if she were to cough up a fur ball.

Elsewhere, Lake and Michelle were on the road, struggling to get to the Detour. Michelle announced that her map was all in Greek, causing Lake to remark, “Are you kidding me?” Why was he surprised. He was in GREECE. Things are written in GREEK. Well, the two began bickering, and Michelle, who had just bungee jumped, got all choked up. “I just got through doing something that was very hard,” she said, adding, “I mean, it was almost as bad as swimming in front of Russians. Almost.”

Michelle then thrust her road map up in the front seat, causing an exasperated Lake to yell, “Dammit! Don’t be an idiot right now!!!” Anti-KAN-KO-WEE-GO for you, Missy!!

Meanwhile, Jeremy and Eric arrived at the Pit Stop and handed over their completed Da Vinci code. Their prize? Tickets to the theatrical premiere of The Da Vinci Code! Yay! How exciting for them to be on the red carpet instead of valeting it.

Over at the Detour, Ray and Yolanda were proving that while they were certainly athletic, they were far from Olympian. Yolanda seemed unable to throw the discus more than three feet, but after a few tries, she finally hurled it a long enough distance to complete the task. Ray then tackled the javelin (not literally. That would hurt and probably cause bleeding). He could throw it, but he just couldn’t get it to stick in the ground. He tried over and over and over again, but each time brought failure. Who knew that javelin-ing could be so hard? Mojo soon arrived, and after Monica completed the discus, Joseph also had difficulty with the javelin. I couldn’t even imagine how Barry would do.

Ah, but I forgot that this was a Detour, and Frankenberry instead opted for “It’s All Greek To Me.” This challenge seemed about ten times easier as the couple casually searched around for their letters. It was like a giant word scramble. Lake and Michelle soon joined them, and I had to say, I was quite shocked that every time they found a Greek letter Lake didn’t scream “YEEEHAWWW!!! I got me a sigma! KAN-KO-WEE-GO!!!” If he’d had a gun, he would have thrown those letters in the air and shot them all in triumph.

Elsewhere in Greece, the normally dominant Hippies were completely lost. I’m talking looooost. Turns out they had gone the complete wrong way for the past hour, which meant they had essentially lost two hours of time. Oops! Their only hope, it seemed, was a non-elimination round. And let’s just put it out there: this was so a non-elimination round. I mean, we haven’t had one yet. I thought last week for sure, and it wasn’t. So this week was definite. Right? Well, BJ put on some random frog hat for good luck; although, I couldn’t be sure it would do anything but make him look like a total moron. Doesn’t he realize this isn’t the country of frogs? It’s the land of thinking, man!

Back at the Detour, Ray was STILL chucking that javelin. Joseph, however, had completed the task, and now he and Monica were set to take down a professional wrestler wearing what looked to be a diaper (don’t worry, I know it was just ancient garb). Well, this encounter was awkward and bizarre — a kinky porno gone way wrong. After a few attempts, Mojo finally pushed their wrestler out of the circle and received directions to their next stop: the Pit Stop. Ray, meanwhile, finally landed his javelin, and he and Yolanda moved onto the wrestling phase of the competition. No surprise here: Mr. Jacked and Thunder Thighs took down the wrestler in about three seconds, and soon, they too were on the road.

ar4-12-06d

Frankenberry, meanwhile, had all their letters but were now struggling to find which city on the map they had to spell. After some careful studying and deduction, they finally got the right answer and moved on. The two hopped into their SUV, and then Barry pulled the most predictable and hilarious senior citizen move of the race. He slammed on the gas, but oops! The car was in reverse! He backed right into a tree, causing the back window to shatter and Fran to scream like she were bungee jumping all over again. It was awesome. Later, we saw that the back door was dented too. Oh Barry. Can’t wait to see your driving skills ten years from now.

Lake and Michelle completed the Detour not long after, and soon they were out on the open road again, and no sooner than you can say “Dang gummit!” they were lost in Greece. This was expected, however, because the producers had to make the Hippies look like they were still in the race, and the rule of thumb is that the second-to-last team always must appear to be lost and confused. Well, as the Hippies happily toiled through the Olympics, Lake and Michelle became increasingly lost. At one point, Lake tried to turn into an orchard grove, but dang gummit! That there orchard ain’t the Fortress of Rion! Eventually, Michelle did something she should have done about five episodes ago: she made Lake stop the car and take a breath. Literally, they sat at the side of the road while Lake simmered down from a hostile KAN-KO-WEE-GO to a manageable “Varmint, I’m a-gonna blow you to smithereens!”

Back at the Detour, the Hippies had moved onto the wrestling phase of the evening. I took great joy in watching BJ and Tyler get slammed into the ground, and I couldn’t help noticing how much more aggressive the wrestler was being with them as opposed to the other teams. Then again, the other teams had women on them; so perhaps the wrestler was being nice. If only Bolo and Lori had been around. Actually, the people I felt worst for were Jeremy and Eric. They really missed out on some hot man-on-man action.

Over at the Pit Stop, Ray and Yolanda managed to eclipse Mojo and arrive in second place — a team best. But wait! They had a penalty! Remember that bus trip they took to Corinth? That was against the rules! And those producers weren’t gonna let them off the hook. The two had to sit on the side for fifteen minutes (I always thought the penalty was twenty or thirty minutes), and while they waited, Mojo stepped in and totally grabbed second place away. Luckily, they were the only team to benefit from Raylonda’s penalty, and after the fifteen minutes were up, Phil suddenly said, “Ray and Yolanda, I can check you in now.” Was this a hotel or something? I LOVE Phil’s Front Desk! I wonder if there’s a bellhop also — or as I like to call them, a PhilHop.

Coming in fourth were Fran and Barry. By this time, the weather had turned bad, with rain pouring down on the Pit Stop. Luckily, Phil’s loyal Greek sidekick had an umbrella that he selflessly brandished high above the host. What a swell guy!

Amazingly, all that misdirection with Lake getting lost wasn’t really misdirection at all. BJ and Tyler actually arrived fifth, but uh oh! They had a penalty too! The producers then tried to make this seem all exciting as we wondered whether or not Lake and Michelle would arrive before the penalty was up, but it didn’t really matter. Lake and Michelle also rode that bus to the Corinth station; so even if they did arrive before the Hippies’ time was up, they’d be saddled with a penalty too.

Well, it didn’t even matter because BJ and Tyler’s penalty expired before Lake and Michelle arrived. The Hippies checked in, and when I say “checked in,” I mean checked in. BJ gave Phil a big, wet, sloppy kiss, and since one is never enough, Tyler followed up with his very own kiss as well. Phil could not have looked less pleased. I think he’d welcome forty more sweaty Paolo hugs before he received another Hippie kiss.

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Anyhoo, Lake and Michelle finally arrived, and here’s a big shocker: they were eliminated! Kan-ko-wee-whaaa? But for sure I thought this would be non-elimination! Wow. Caught me by surprise again. This means we’re in for several non-eliminations in a row, or maybe the producers cut down on them this season. Nevertheless, Lake and Michelle both started to cry (kan-ko-wee-sob), and later, Lake told us “On the race, we got along great most of the time.” Huh? And when was that? Actually, to be fair, I must admit something. I was really sad to see these two go. When the season began, I thought they’d be our garden variety abusive/intense villains from the South. But as the race went on, I grew fond of them and their excitable ways. They weren’t so much villains as they were just very, very crazy. I’ll miss Lake’s frequent, nonsensical sounds of excitement. And I’ll miss Michelle’s irrational fear of Russians. Oh well. Such is the way of The Amazing Race.

What did you think about this episode? Sad to see Lake and Michelle go? Or relieved?

About

45 Comments

  1. 1
    someonespecial
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 12:45 am

    Yea, first!

    I always love your recaps, B-Side. They always have me laughing until my sides aches.

    Even though I thought they were a really crazy team, I am sad to see them go. No more “KAN-KO-WEE-GO” or “DANG GUMMIT.” :( Ha, and the best part was when Michelle made Lake pull over to have a breather. That was honestly the funniest thing ever.

  2. 2
    zevonia
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 12:46 am

    Thanks for the great recap, B-side. I also thought it was going to be a non- elimination round. Especially when it looked like the hippies were going to go. How lost were Lake & Michelle that the hippies got there first when they were 2 hours behind? I’m not sorry to see L&M go as they were starting to wear on my nerves a little.
    You didn’t mention Joseph threatening Monica when she was crying. Way to be supportive, dude. My girlfriend’s crying, I think I’ll yell at her. That’s sure to make it better. Do you ever wonder how many of these couples stay together after the race? I sure do.

  3. 3
    carol
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 12:57 am

    from “finish Line”
    *Lake and Michelle thought they didn’t fight at all while on the race until watching it on tv
    *Lake still says he was positive the whole time
    *They still don’t like Frankenberry because of the whole airport thing.
    *their kids don’t really watch the show
    *at the yeild, everyone’s picture was still in the box

  4. 4
    carol
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 1:03 am

    another note – “the da vinci code” does not take place in Rome, or even Italy. Another one of Dan Brown’s books takes place in Rome (A&D).

    While watching “the finish line” (cbs.com) at work today, I actally called in to the show and got through. It wasn’t until reading this recap that I wish I had asked about the odd mic packs last episode or what the hell kan-ko-wee-go means. (I asked about Frankenberry & the airport).

  5. 5
    wandernview
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 1:37 am

    Anyone else had enough of contestants getting to a challenge and freaking out? Seriously next bungie jump type deal where we have a whiner just push them off.
    They added the Flo rule of not one person doing all the challenges after that sorry sack whined her way through a whole season. Or was it the Mirna rule since they were both equally worthless but one atleast was eliminated. The deadweight partner rule thats it.

    CBS should go bold for a season and just do all product placements inside the episodes and go commercial free for the whole season.

  6. 6
    Tabby Lavalamp
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 1:43 am

    All I could think of while watching the wrestlers was that poor Jeric must have regretted taking that fast foward after hearing of it. Damn you TVGasm for messing with my head. Damn-ko-wee-go.
    I was positive this would be non-elimination this week. Next week should be one for sure, but at this rate I’m not going to bet on it.
    And damn-ko-wee-go the producers. They made me question my own memory. BJ and Tyler were sitting there waiting out their penalty, the editing was getting all suspenseful, but weren’t Lake and Michelle on the bus too? But they’re making it look like Michake could elimate the Hippies! Could I have had it all wrong? Is Yes, Dear the pinnacle of quality television? But no, in the end I wasn’t mistaken, and it didn’t matter anyway.
    After all that though, Lake’s cleanly shaven face distracted me all episode. It was just such a big, random change mid-race.

  7. 7
    zoobabe
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 5:01 am

    I was very nervous that my hippies were gonna get eliminated, so I was glad to see lake and Michelle go.

    My question is- if there are only 5 teams left and they have 2 non-elimination rounds, doesn’t that mean that the next one HAS to be one? Also- do they offer fast forwards after they get down to the final four? I thought that they did not, so the next one should be soon too. The previews for next week didn’t make things look too promising for the hippies either. I want them to get back in it!

  8. 8
    Dan Dickinson
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 5:15 am

    If nothing else, Lake & Michelle provided a great new passive-agressive in-joke for my wife and I to shout back and forth.

    “GOOD JOB BABY!”
    “SHUT UP BABY!”

  9. 9
    TheStink1325
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 5:16 am

    I have been B-Side myself waiting for this recap. This episode was classic!! I just new B-Side would have his way with this one, and of course he didn’t disappoint. Lake is such a loser! He’s about one threatening hand raise away from being Jonathan. And Michelle (or Victoria wannabe) is a loser too for letting him act the fool with her all the time. So, he can call her a bitch, and she says nothing. But, if he says damnit around her she’s upset because he’s cussing at her – FREAKS! Any couple that has to say “this relationship may look bad to other people but it works for us” need to run their asses to therapy. Well, maybe Lake shouldn’t run – he might get too stressed and have to stop and let Michelle hold his chest before his heart explodes. What a wuss! The only one good thing about Lake is that he does always give Michelle her props (did I just say props?) when she does something good. Not that it makes up for all the other abuse she has to endure. In the words of N’Sync…Bye Bye Bi-polar Lake!!!!

  10. 10
    3G_Phil
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 5:25 am

    B-Side,
    It’s a damn shame what they did to Jack Tripper’s restaurant!!
    For the record, Jeric took a cab to Trevi fountain. They did not bother with mass transit. I dislike them more with every episode, and I really do believe that they are going to run away with this race. Unless, of course, there is a detour at a male whorehouse in Bangcock. They’re never leaving that!!
    There are 12 legs of this race, with 11 teams (three of them go to the end) makes 8 elimination rounds. That leaves 4 non-elimination eps. We have had one so far. So there are 3 non-elimination episodes to go. Next week has to be a non-elimination.
    I think that bodes well for the hippies. I do wish that they steal this from Jeric. They are they only other team strong enough to beat them.
    The Frankenberry accident…I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time!! I think in 10 years, Barry will NOT be driving (at least we all hope!!).
    Was it Phil that jumped after he introduced the bungee jump segment? I find it hard to believe that he would pass up the opportunity, especially since he is all strapped up.
    As you may recall, it was Brandine that questioned whether they should be taking the bus to Corinth. And it was Cletus who told her to shut up, that he was right. Gonna miss that dynamic duo!!

  11. 11
    jenny10girl
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 6:05 am

    Loved when Barry crashed into the tree. I couldn’t stop laughing. Are those vehicles brand new? Such a shame to get destroyed like that. The hippie frog hat was mildly amusing, esp. when he had to take if off to beat the wrestler…that was time for him to get serious…

  12. 12
    RealityTV4Me
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 6:11 am

    Oh, B-side. You said “Jeric hung tight” What visions. What nightmares.

    I thought there were only 2 non-elimination rounds and there haven’t been any this season yet.

  13. 13
    needrealitytv
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 8:13 am

    B-side,

    After Lake and Michelle were eliminated…

    kan-ko-wee-sob

    HILARIOUS!!!!!!!

  14. 14
    aholic
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 8:21 am

    There has definitely already been one non-elimination round. It was the episode where Dave and Lori had been sharing cabs with MoJo and then ended up being last. After that, they decided to quit sharing and do their own thing.

  15. 15
    Franuary
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 8:23 am

    Hilarious recap as always, B-Side! Never thought I’d say this, but I’m going to miss Lake and Michelle. Kan-ko-wee-gone. :(

    And the one where Dave and Lori came in last was a double leg, not a non-elimination.

  16. 16
    theory
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 9:04 am

    The only thing better than Barry slamming into the tree and taking out the back window was Fran’s

    “OH MY GAWWWWWD”

    when it happened.

    Priceless!

  17. 17
    Clair
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 9:06 am

    What I would like to know is why Lake and Michelle didn’t get a time penalty in the first episode when they called the airline to make a reservation and the directions clearly stated not to call for reservations.

  18. 18
    AbbyAnn
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 9:31 am

    We’re in for a lot of non-elimination all in a row. While I can appreciate the producers wanting to trick us by letting us think this leg would be non-elimination, saving all the non-eliminations for the end just means that nothing the teams do for the next 2 legs will matter much. It’s like bunching–some is good, but too much all at once is really, really bad.

    I think they should put more fast forwards in the Race. Right now, there’s little strategy involved in when to use it. But if there’s one every leg, like in the early seasons, or at least 4 or 5 per season, then the frontrunning teams won’t automatically use them, which would actually give a back-of-the-pack team a chance to change things up (which was the original purpose behind the FF.)

  19. 19
    flymotha
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 9:33 am

    Except for Kan-Ko-Wee-Go, which I can never get enough of, I’m happy to see that Rhett and Scarlett were sent packing, they were getting on my nerves. Plus I was so worried the Hippies would be eliminated. Of course, if Lachelle had stayed, I think the verbal abuse would have only escalated since we had just gotten our first “shut up bitch!” of the season. It irks me when these women then show up on camera with the “it works for us” excuse.

  20. 20
    stacyrocks
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 9:44 am

    It’s down to 5 teams already? Damn. How was this NOT a non-elimination leg?! Crazy! I generally enjoyed Lake & Michelle, I just didn’t want them to win the money though. I’m glad Ray & Yolanda were able to move up.

    Barry reversing the car into the tree = Freaking classic moment. LoL. And next week looks good, desert? Unbearable heat? CAMELS? Yeah!!!

    -Clair #17;
    They didn’t get a time penalty because when they arrived at the airport, they were forced to request new tickets. So instead of taking the first plane out, they ended up behind most teams and had to take the last provided flight out. :)

  21. 21
    Ash
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 9:46 am

    Did they actually say that there would be 2 non-eliminations this season? If not, isn’t is possible that they are just trying to switch things up and will only have 1? Just wondering…

  22. 22
    Belinda
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 10:02 am

    Thank you Flymotha – you took the words right out of my mouth (or off my keyboard). You just don’t speak to other people like that – especially your spouse/significant other – and especially on national television. I am very happy to see Pond and Puddle go.

    GO HIPPIES!

  23. 23
    stacyrocks
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 10:22 am

    -Ash #21;
    At the start of the race, Phil specifically told the racers how many elimination & how many non-elimination legs there would be. I’m pretty certain he said 8/4. I’d have to be home to make sure of the numbers. Damn work! :)

  24. 24
    jack
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 10:37 am

    jeric’s continuing string of dumb luck is starting to piss me off. at least the prize was kind of lame. that damn ‘da vinci code’ has been in the top 5 of the NY times hardcover fiction bestseller list for over 3 years, which leaves me wondering: is there anyone on the planet who doesn’t know how this one turns out?

    i too was sorry to see the kan-ko-wee-go trainwreck grind to a halt, but i’m afraid if they survived another week they might get into jonathan and victoria territory. i wonder how their kids and michelle’s parents felt about watching lake call her a bitch on national TV.

    happy to see raylonda climb out of the bottom of the pack, but i must confess to shock and alarm at the hippies’ collapse. they are annoying, but bj and tyler are far less hateworthy than the lauderdale pretty-boys.

    i know the nonelimination rounds are supposed to be pre-determined, but i can’t help but suspect that, had bj and tyler finished last instead of lake and michelle, they probably would have been spared. no way the producers would pass up a chance to let those k-razy hippies panhandle in foreign lands.

    best moment of the night: joseph telling teary-eyed monica ‘cheer up before i get pissed!’

  25. 25
    Clair
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 10:51 am

    Thanks stacyrocks. However, they still violated the rules. Hmph!

  26. 26
    3G_Phil
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 10:56 am

    Stacyrocks,

    According to the TAR: 9 Leaderboard on the cbs website, there are 12 episodes. Episode three was the fakeout at the Kremlin episode (or non-elimination #1). That leaves 5 episodes to go. There are 2 more philiminations to go (not counting the 2nd/3rd place finishers at the end).

    I predict that it will be similar in fashion to TAR: 6 when every other episode was a non-elimination.

    Does anyone know if the ratings have improved with the new day and time?

    B-Side,

    Imagining Lori and Bolo at the wrestling challenge was great! Too bad they didn’t have the teams wrestle Lori and/or Bolo instead!!

    I believe that there is also another FF and Yield remaining. I am so happy that the producers have changed things up this year with FF and yield. They are actually being placed on elimination legs. It was happy to see more than one team fight it out for the FF as well, but that god damned Jeric has had all the luck so far.

  27. 27
    Franuary
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 11:36 am

    I’ll amend my last post: I guess that the the Philiminaton Phakeout in episode three counted as a non-elimination. But unless they take your money and your bags and force you to shamelessly beg on the street for spare change, it’s just not the same.

    Did anyone else notice that B.J. actually said “Philiminator” when they made it to the map this episode?

  28. 28
    Ash
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 11:44 am

    Everytime I visit this site, (which is like 20 times a day), 3 little windows pop up saying to click “OK” to run an ActiveX control… it has happened to me on multiple computers over the last few days, anyone know what it is? Am I the only one suffering?

  29. 29
    J Unit
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 11:47 am

    You know, I can’t stand the hippies. I was very giddy when they realized they had gone the wrong way and perhaps thought to themselves that they should pay attention to where they are going instead of what little song and dance they are going to pull for the camera at the next portion of the race.

    That being said, when they realized that they were so far behind and could possibly be eliminated, they didn’t freak out. Faced with possible elimination, they forgot about mugging for the camera and became much more tolerable.

    I wish somebody would just break Jeric’s arm or something so we could enjoy the rest of the race.

  30. 30
    3G_Phil
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 12:01 pm

    J Unit, (not to be confused with J-Unit)

    I never realized until you pointed out how the Hippies lost the act when they realized their mistake. I’ve been waiting for the exhaustion to weigh in on their act.

  31. 31
    RealityTV4Me
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 12:28 pm

    Ash (#28) – I get the same thing on my computer at work and at home. The only difference is that I can go ahead and view the video clips at work, but I am unable to watch the Quicktime clips at home.

  32. 32
    stacyrocks
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 12:42 pm

    3G_Phil #26;

    So it is 4 non-elimination legs = the ‘Phil PHakeout’ in Russia, the run to the finish line and then 2 more to go through before the finale. Thanks a lot!

  33. 33
    Soriner
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 12:45 pm

    Count me in as one who was sad to see Lake/Michelle go. I thought they were funny and intense, and at least they engendered a reaction in me. I’ll admit I was a little disturbed by Lake’s treatment of her in this episode though.

    IMO, this season has just been OK. I just can’t get into loving or hating any of the teams (aside from Lake/Michelle). Jeric is just your typical interchangeable young guy team who is doing well seen multiple times in seasons’ past. The Hippies are OK, but part of it seems an act, and teams that are tyring too hard to be funny inevitably fail (the clowns, Itchy and Scratchy, etc.). I like Ray and Yolanda, but that’s more for the absence of annoying traits than anything they’ve actually done. They’re nowhere near my top 10 list of favorits teams. The old couple is annoying to me, but not entirely evil enough to hate, and not competent enough to root for.

    I just wasn’t impressed by the team selection this year. Would any of these teams make your top 5 most liked or most hated lists?

  34. 34
    Jeebo
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 1:03 pm

    Ash…the same thing’s happening to me even though I haven’t changed any settings on my comp…its annoying! Anyone know why or how to stop it?

  35. 35
    lurkertype
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 1:34 pm

    I actually CLAPPED at the Philimination! The rest of this Race will be so much nicer to watch without Abusive Yosemite Sam and his co-dependent missus.

    Phil, Phil, you should have known better than to give the hippies more ideas by saying “At least it wasn’t both of you” about the kiss.

    I agree, next bungie-jumping, just kick the whiner off the edge so as not to hold up the rest of the racers. But Barry should have maybe said he was sorry to the wife — first she does the thing she’s most scared of and then he smashes the car so it spews broken glass at her… not Fran’s day.

    Jeric: still gay.

    I use Firefox so this ActiveX crap doesn’t ever bother me.

  36. 36
    mangos
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 3:40 pm

    I was shocked that Lake actually called Michelle ‘bitch’. Their poor kids are going to be so screwed up when they get older, imagine how he talks to her at home.

    Im glad the hippies didnt get eliminated, I want them to take out Jeremy and Eric! I cant stand them, I hate how they keep winning!

  37. 37
    Pie
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 5:45 pm

    I haven’t been the hippie’s biggest fan this season, but I almost had a panic attack when they realized they lost two hours. They say that you don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone, and in this case it’s true. Without even realizing it, I’ve come to love those darn hippies.

    I had to hit rewind when Lake called Michelle a bitch. I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard! Their parents must be so proud. I was sad to see them go based on the entertainment factor alone, but I was more relieved that my hippie boys hadn’t been eliminated.

    BTW, Jeric and Frankenberry have got to go.

  38. 38
    KateMcV
    Posted April 14, 2006 at 9:40 pm

    As soon as I saw the get-up of the wrestlers, I knew that Jeric would be sad to have missed this one!!!!

    The only reason I’m sad to see Lake and Michelle go is because they’re so frickin annoying that they add a bit of entertainment to the game (really, if the Weavers had been eliminated early on last season, who would we have hated?!)……at least we have so many other teams to make fun of!

  39. 39
    herkxena
    Posted April 15, 2006 at 2:45 am

    Reality (#31): To view the Quicktime clips at home, you need to update to Quicktime 7.x. I, also, get the active x message since installing the latest windows updates for xp.

  40. 40
    plethLaura
    Posted April 15, 2006 at 4:38 pm

    That’s a big 10-4 to the active-x thing. Pops up 3 times. I click on the little red X in the top right corner 3 times.

    I never allow active-x to run. That’s where spyware lives.

  41. 41
    flypay
    Posted April 16, 2006 at 10:16 am

    I think the time penalty was too short. If I remember correctly, the next train was about 35 minutes after the one they got off of. If they had done that leg “properly” they would have had to wait for that train and continue. 35 minutes would have passed at least. Instead it only cost them 15 minutes. Not much penalty in my view.

    Oh, and Jeric…still flaming and in denial…

  42. 42
    nocable
    Posted April 16, 2006 at 7:10 pm

    As much as I HATE Lake & Michelle I actually felt bad for them at the elimination and actually thought that Lake was being (gasp) nice to his wife.
    Totally rooting for Raylonda- I think its funny that they seem to get along with pretty much everyone expect Mojo.

  43. 43
    j.packhouse
    Posted April 16, 2006 at 11:16 pm

    b-side, I still don’t understand why you’re not credited with the writing for these episodes — your recaps are too good, man. i really believe the first reality show to hire you will become the next hit. let us know when that happens; i’ll be watching bro

  44. 44
    GregnNYC
    Posted April 17, 2006 at 8:11 am

    I wish we HAD seen Phil bungee. Remember one of the few good moments of last season was Phil explaining the go-cart challenge while racing in one. I would also like to have seen Phil in a PhilDiaper wrestling with the Greeks.

    Not sad to see Lake go home. Calling Michelle a bitch was so NOT cool.

  45. 45
    khirth
    Posted April 19, 2006 at 6:32 am

    Guys, Phil so totally bungeed! How could you all have missed that?? Check out the AR site at cbs.com – check out Phil’s pictures. There’s a really good one of him with a towel wrapped around his head! :) But there’s also one of him bungee jumping.

    Couldn’t believe it either when Lake called Michelle a bitch. What an idiot!

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