Amazing Race Recap: Pho-get about your problems in glorious Vietnam!

Amazing Race

By Fran and Berry | Monday, March 18, 2013 | 9:28 am | 8 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ahoy Race Fans! Fran and Berry here, intact and ready to take on the world! Well, maybe not the whole world but at least wherever the heck this episode of AR takes us. Last week we excitedly waved goodbye to Team Broseph. (Or should I say Team No Regrets? I have no regrets that they are gone.)

We are left with:

Team Remission (Dave & Connor)

Team Hello Kitty (Pam & Winnie)

Team Psycho (Max & Katie)

Team Internet (Joey & Meghan)

Team CMT (Caroline & Jennifer)

Team Slapshot (Bates & Anthony)

Team Jammer Moms (Mona & Beth)

Team Mullet (Chuck & Wynona)

201303180937

“I can almost afford to retire!”

We begin the fifth leg in the lush island of Bali. Team Remission was the first to check in so they are first to be given the next clue. Looks like they are off to Hanoi, Vietnam! Then they have to make their way to the center of town and find the Rap Cong Nhan Theater. A rap theater?! Cool! Vietnam is so where it’s at! Remission is on their way to a travel agent. They take it down a notch and get real in the cab and say how they have to get home soon so Dad Remission can get ankle surgery before it’s too late. Hello Kitty leaves second, they are plotting to break up the three team alliance of Internet, Broseph and Jammer Moms. Little do they know fate has already begun the breaking up! Mwahahahaha! Team Psycho leaves next. They are hell bent on U-Turning Broseph. I wish they could U-turn them even though they are out. U-Turn them from the continental breakfast or something.

201303180940

“Full Metal Cropped Blazer!”

CMT leaves fourth. They are squealing and screeching and so is Team Internet who leaves next. Internet is feeling weak since one of their ally teams is gone. When they are weak they are even more uncomfortable to watch. Side rant: why would you EVER think an alliance is a good idea on one of these shows? The only way an alliance works is if you end up dating someone on the other team then you and them can be your own team on the All Stars version and win. Like Danielle and what’s-his-name. But I think they ended up breaking up, right? Oh well, at least they won some sweet cash out of that abusive relationship.

Jammer Moms, Slapshot and Mullet are released. The teams are all on their way to Hanoi. The first flight lands. Hello Kitty, Remission, and Psycho arrive at the Rap Theater and it (of course) is not open until 9am. So everyone will catch up. Hello Kitty and Psycho make friendsies and bond while making fun of the ousted Team Broseph.

The second flight lands. CMT is blown away by the idea of a rickshaw. “Wow y’all I never seen that in Beverly Hills- I mean Nashville.”

201303180948

“Turn down your radio so we can sing our own sh*tty song!”

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Fran and Berry are not just a sexy elderly couple who competed in Season 9 of the Amazing Race, they are also us, Mike Betette and Amanda Ohly.  We are similarly married and similarly carry backpacks all over the world.  Some people ask us "how do you keep the spark alive in your marriage?"  And to that we respond: reality tv.  Tons of reality tv.  Sexy, fighty, douchey reality tv.  We are both comedians living in Los Angeles and we love Robin Hood and we did NOT contribute to the Harlem Shake.  Google us for more, ya dirty stalker!

8 Comments

  1. 1
    Pegalicious
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    Wow, thanks for the quick recap! (Although there’s a real danger to reading at work; I barely choked back my guffaw at “I mean how the hell can Jesus take the wheel of a rickshaw anyways?!”)

    While I really don’t like to see one team poking fun at another team (on the teevee, of course; I turn to TVGasm for my snark), plus I’m not at all fond of Team Psycho, I can’t blame them for razzing on Team Broseph, who did display an astonishing amount of stubbornness along with a complete lack of wisdom. If these stupid alliances weren’t becoming so disturbingly prevalent (I hate ‘em; can you tell?), Team Internet could have jumped in and defended their brightly smiling bronze friends to their hearts’ content.

    I do have a soft spot for Hello Kitty, so I’m sorry to see them in an “alliance” with Psycho. (Careful when you’re in the shower, girls!)

    Thanks again for the quick and always-delightful recap!

  2. 2
    aintnobodygottime
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 2:18 pm

    I think I’m just a bit too obsessed with the hockey boys but their little scene doing the bamboo dance was hilarious. \Amazing Race is bringing us closer together.\ \Such soft hands\ They are clearly having a ball.

    There isn’t a team I really ‘hate’ right now though team Psycho is close and the internet guys are moving up the list. We’ll see what happens as the season progresses.

  3. 3
    Luke
    Posted March 18, 2013 at 3:28 pm

    This was a good episode, although team CMT really need to get out soon as I can’t stand to hear their sh***y attempt of a song anymore.

    I also see the irony of everyone joining an alliance to get rid of Internet and Roller Moms because they think alliances give people an advantage. Pot? Kettle? Black? Anyone? Right now I’m probably rooting for Roller mons and Internet…I guess I have a thing for the underdogs.

  4. 4
    JJB
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 1:50 am

    Fun episode though even more fun are the shitfits that so-called ‘Fans’ are throwing in the facebook page about everything to do with Vietnam XD heh

    Definetly popcorn-worthy

  5. 5
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 7:47 am

    I thought the Viet Nam number was cute. Uh, those singers came on the show with a motive. They want to sing on camera. Team HELLO KITTY is growing on me. TEAM INTERNET is slightly annoying.

  6. 6
    Flippy Floppy
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 10:49 am

    This alliance is the stupidest thing ever. Why ally yourselves to get rid of Roller Moms and Internet?? In the end, in a foot race toward Phil in Miami, who do these people think they would outrun? Professional(ish) hockey players? Actually, thinking about it now…I suppose there is a lot of low hanging fruit and maybe the Moms and the Internet Goobers are considered the…best…competiti… No. I can’t.

  7. 7
    sphouch
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    I recently finished a cruise, the last day of which my wife caught a cold, which she so graciously chose to share with me. For the last three days, my head has been completely congested with occasional breaks where my ears pop and I can hear again. I share this because I think it aptly refers to how I feel about this season of TAR. Every time I think there’s a team I can get behind, something pops and I get to see them for what they are. As much as I want to like Mullet, they just seem to continue to shoot themselves in the foot. I will hitch my wagons to the hockey dudes, but they’ve not been getting quite as much attention as the rest of the teams, which means either they are dull, or they aren’t going to be staying around too much longer.

    Now for some decongestant and pizza.

  8. 8
    KJN KJN
    Posted March 22, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    @JJB I just checked out that Facebook page. Wowzers! They need to simmer down now and realize that they were in THEIR country. Of course they’re going to glorify the way they live. What did they expect? The American National Anthem?

    Although, I maybe do agree a bit about using the downed B-52 site for the U-Turn. It has a different meaning for us than it does for the Vietnamese, but because of the U-turn being placed there and all the commotion there was no reflection or reverence about what it would mean to Americans.

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