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Tuesday, December 5, 2006
5:34 pm
45 Comments
This week’s installment of The Amazing Race may have been the very best this season, if only because we had an extended sequence of fat children pelting Kimberly and Rob with tomatoes. Yes, it was a reality viewer’s wet dream — a vicarious tour de force. After all, who hasn’t secretly wished they could hurl vegetables at these two crybabies? It’s like the producers had read our minds.
However, as wonderful as this sequence was, maybe I’m being a bit overzealous when I say this was the best episode of the season. It really wasn’t, but I will say that it was still up there. Granted, it wasn’t as twisty and turny as other installments (ie. last week), and the Roadblock before the airport equalizer seemed fairly redundant, and yes, it was fairly obvious what the outcome would be about forty-five minutes through the hour, but hey, I still was on the edge of my seat, and that’s really all I need.Okay, first of all, apologies for the late recap. I’ve been editing together all these Big In ’06 pieces, which is cool, but also a major time suck. So bear with me…
Anyway, this week’s episode began in Morocco where the gang had spent the night in a nomadic encampment somewhere near the desert. First team out of the pit stop were the models, who were told they’d have to drive 275 miles through the mountains to Casablanca where they’d then have to search for a clue in some marketplace-type area. As Tyler and James headed off for their latest adventure, James commented, “Nothing like a good Moroccan sunrise.” He then added, “I just wish I was high on quaaludes right now.”
Following the models out of the gate were Lyn and Karlyn (remember? They were second last week) and Kimberly and Rob, the latter of whom was wearing dumb argyle socks. I think he was trying to look trendy, but that attempt failed grandly — mostly because the only people who wear shorts and black argyle socks are not hipsters, but old men from the Catskills.
Nevertheless, Rob was feeling really confident that he and Kimbo could claim that million dollar prize. “I have a really certain belief that we will win a million dollars,” he said, “and we will get married, and we will ride off into the Moroccan sunset!” Or, er, sunrise. (Sunrise = morning. Sunset = night. I know, Rob. It’s a very tricky concept).
Well, no sooner had Kimberob hit the road than they encountered some of the crazy roving dog-beasts of Morocco. “I hate how there are so many dogs out here,” Kimberly complained, but she soon corrected herself by adding, “Oh, those are lambs.” Seriously. Seriously. Hey Kimberly, here’s the first clue in telling canines from ovines: dogs don’t have wool.
Even worse, however, was that the sheep weren’t even sheep. They were goats! Hey Kimberly, here’s another handy-dandy rule of thumb: dogs don’t have HORNS. I can’t imagine what other things she confuses. I can just see her yelling at Rob, “Babe, why do we always have to drive around in an elephant? Oh, wait. This is a car.”
Back at the Pit Stop, the Beauty Queens were last to leave by what seemed like a significant margin. They had a lot of ground to make up, especially since they were marked for elimination as a result of last week’s non-elimination round. Would they be able to persevere? Well, based on the early signs, it seemed probable. You see, once the teams arrived in Casablanca, everyone seemed to get lost. Dustin and Kandice, however, found a local with nothing better to do than drive around with the blondies and help them on their way.
Well, as the girls made up for lost time, the models arrived at the clue box which featured this week’s Roadblock. It was a little sooner than normal, and I was concerned that it might all be redundant if an airport equalizer lay in wait, but at the same time, I couldn’t act as if I wasn’t thrilled to see one of my favorite activities: the eating challenge!
Somebody likes camel meat!
Yes, one member from each team had to enter a busy market, get a pound of camel meat, find a cafe, grind the meat, season it, cook it, and then eat it. This probably wasn’t one of the more gnarly food challenges we’ve seen, but hey, we’ll take what we can get. And by the way, thanks a trillion, CBS, for the repeated, prolonged shots of the decapitated camel head.
“I can’t feel my humps! My humps! My lovely camel humps!”
You may now kiss the bride.
Truth was that this challenge was kind of a breeze. There wasn’t a huge amount of meat to be had (and a good portion probably burned off on the grill). Even James had to admit, “It’s like a really good burger.” For the record, I would so eat a camel burger. Anyway, as James chowed down, the Beauty Queens suddenly arrived at the clue box (thanks to their fearless guide), and as they read the Roadblock clue, I couldn’t help wondering “Who is that little kid on the bike?” Seriously, did anyone else see him? He was not only staring at the girls, but I think he was about three inches away from invading their personal space.
“Are you Madonna?”
Well, as the girls began their camel kebob odyssey, James finished up his food, which meant that it was time for another clue: fly to Barcelona! How exciting! Would they be meeting up with Tyra Banks? It should be noted that this is the second season in a row when The Amazing Race has meandered into a Top Model country (last season, they both intersected in Thailand). I think if it happens again, there definitely has to be a crossover. Maybe Tyra can greet teams at the Pit Stop: “Standing in front of me are two beautiful teams. Each one has what the other one needs. So who goes home? The team that takes flawless photos but has no confidence, or the team that has all the personality in the world but can’t seem to turn it on when it counts?”
Anyhoo, as Tyler and James ran out to their car, Kimberob showed up, all flustered and totally lost. For whatever reason, they couldn’t find the clue box, even though it was out there in the open. Seriously, how did they get lost so quickly? Well, when all else fails, be methodically unmethodical! Rob began asking random people, “Do you know where the clue is?” — as if anyone had any idea what the hell he was talking about. At one point, he started poking his head in various stores, causing Kimberly to ask, “Why here?”
“WHY NOT??? BABE, WHY NOT???” Rob barked back. With that sort of logic, he should have started looking in trash cans and up trees. Why? Well, WHY NOT??? WHY NOT????
“Babe, why doesn’t anyone help me when I throw my arms up like an exasperated ass?”
Soon ‘Bama joined Kimberob in the hunt for the cluebox; although, they were considerably less flustered. Their pissiness was kept a general simmer, thanks to Karlyn, who may or may not be related to Oscar the Grouch. Well, these teams spent so long meandering around that Dustin and Kandice finished the Roadblock. As they traipsed back to their car, they hid their clue; so no one would realize they were coming from the Roadblock. The maneuver worked. Everyone assumed they were just arriving, and in a wonderful moment of the blond leading the blind, Kimberob followed the girls, thinking they’d all wind up at the clue box. Of course, they only wound up at the designated parking, causing Kimberob to become even more frustrated than before. Would they ever find the clue box???
Sure enough, the magic of the commercial break worked its wonders once again. Both Kimberob and Bama magically found the clue box, but just because this obstacle had been surmounted didn’t mean the teams were out of the clear. No, far from it. Kimberly had to face her greatest foe yet: a meat grinder! “I don’t know how to grind meat,” she complained, clearly stumped by the various complexities of a crank. This led to general Kimberob bickering, but at long last, Kimberly finally discovered that if she pushed the meat into the grinder and turned the crank at the same time, it would work! Now, let’s see her tackle a juicer!
Well, after turning over her kebobs to the grillmaster, Kimberly realized that a whole ten seconds had passed with nary a complaint from her lips. “So much meat. I’m so not even hungry,” she whined. Meanwhile, Lyn had no problem with the quantity of meat, just the temperature. Her kebobs were apparently so hot she had to slow down her consumption pace, vexing crabby Karlyn (or as I like to call her, CrabLyn). She simply did not know why Lyn was being so slow. How about you shut up and let her digest for two seconds, mmkay? At least Lynn wasn’t being totally idiotic like Kimberly, who was now gagging on her meat. Hope she didn’t actually get a camel toe in her mouth! (Sorry, I had to somehow work a camel toe joke into this recap.)
“Babe, I can’t eat this salad! Oh wait. It’s camel meat.”
While the women worked their camel meat, the Beauty Queens felt confident that they had emerged from the Philimination Danger Zone. “I think we have a thirty minute lead,” the girls said, clearly not realizing that it would all be immaterial once they all wound up on the same airplane. Back at the Roadblock, Crablyn had gone from mild nuisance to full-on Casablanca Bitch. “Just put it in your mouth and swallow it,” she snipped. “How can you be that close and just not put it in your mouth?” Finally, Lyn did what we were all desperately waiting for: “Karlyn, shut the hell up!” HELL TO THE YES.
Meanwhile, over at the airport, as the two leading teams bought their tix, the Beauty Queens thought they might use their feminine wiles to gain an advantage with the junkie models. Kandice and Dustin asked if the guys wouldn’t mind letting them hit the mat first to avoid a penalty, you know, if they were running neck and neck. And in first place. You couldn’t blame the girls for asking, but man, it was a ballsy move. As you can imagine, James and Tyler said no.
Anyway, soon the trailing teams finished the Road Block, and a few quick edits later, everyone was back at the airport and, you guessed it, on the same flight to Barcelona. Smell ya later, thirty minute lead! Once teams landed in the city, they would then have to find a hedge maze, inside of which was hidden the next clue. And just in case the airport didn’t provide enough of an equalizer, the park didn’t open until the next morning. Great. Why mark someone for elimination and then have so many equalizers as to make it virtually impossible to save yourself? Nevertheless, the next morning, as teams waited for the park to open, those crafty Beauty Queens found some construction workers and had them call a cab in advance. Realizing this might be a good idea, Kimberob and the models followed suit, but as for ‘Bama? Well, Lyn wanted to call a cab, but Crablyn merely replied with “Whatever. Whatever.” Seriously, Lyn. Stop being so annoying with your “logical and calmly asked questions.” Idiot.
Well, soon the park opened up, and all the teams made a mad dash for the clue. This meant we got to watch the teams run through topiaries for a few minutes until finally the models arrived on the clue box. Next mission: Detour! Lug It or Lob It.
In “Lug It,” teams had to slip on a nine and a half foot tall “giant” costume and walk more than a mile to a real life giantess, who would give them their next clue. Didn’t sound too bad, but apparently, it was about 150 degrees in Barcelona that day; so the idea of ambling about with a giant structure on your shoulders may not have been the most appetizing option.
In “Lob It,” teams had to search through a mountain of tomatoes for one that contained a clue, all the while defending themselves from the local children who would be chucking tomatoes at them, much like in the Tomatino Festival (as seen on Road Rules: The Quest). I didn’t know why anyone would choose this option — searching on The Amazing Race never leads to good things (just ask that one girl who unfurled bales of hay for eight hours straight). Besides, who wants to be covered in tomato gunk? Nevertheless, once the teams had their clues, they then had to get out of the maze, and while the BQs, models, and Kimberob ran around like spastic windup toys, ‘Bama calmly strolled right out of the maze in front of everyone. It was delightful karma, but it only lasted about five seconds because soon everyone was not only out of the maze, but in their taxis. Well, everyone but the junkie models, whose cab failed to surface. Suddenly, the unlikely combo of Tyler and James and Lyn and Karlyn were left by the side of the road, all trying to hail down taxis. Needless to say, they were out of luck.
Or at least, they were out of luck until after the commercial break! Yes, the models finally hailed a cab and headed off towards Lug It, where they hoped to catch up to the blondes and overtake them for first place. Meanwhile, in a surprise move, Kimberob decided to go tomato hunting, which meant we had the glorious privilege of watching children attack these two idiots with a seemingly unending supply of tomatoes. As you can imagine, this did not sit well with Kimberly, who immediately honed her inner-six-year-old and balked, “This is STUPID!” Rob was no beacon of patience either, and as the kid tossed tomato after tomato at him, he finally turned around and whipped a few at a poor fat girl. Well, I shouldn’t say poor. It’s not like she got hit. Yes, Rob managed to completely miss her once, and the second time, she actually ducked out of the way to avoid the wrath of his killer tomato. Way to go, Rob. What made this even funnier was that the kids weren’t actually throwing their tomatoes that hard. They were merely lobbing them (as the Detour description would indicate). But Rob on the other hand was flinging the tomatoes back as if he were trying to strike out Vladimir Guerrero. And missing too. Ha. Way to be ineffective as usual, ROB. Maybe you should spend less time attacking children and more time, you know, searching for the clue.
We then cut briefly to the models who were completely lost looking for their giant costumes. This was cool and all, but we really only cared about Kimberob at this point; so we headed back to the tomato pile where now Kimberly, after having complained long enough about this Detour, suddenly yelled as loud as she possibly could, “LISTEN TO ME!!! LISTEN TO ME!!!!!” She then added, “I DON’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DOGS AND GOATS!!!! LISTEN TO ME!!!!!!”
Okay, she didn’t say that, but she did go all Hulk on us and screamed, “THIS IS MAKING ME MAD!!!” as she squashed a tomato in her hands. But alas, her protests fell on deaf (and dumb) ears. Rob refused to give up on the challenge, causing Kimberly to employ her own version of the Bat signal: “BAAAABE!!!!!!” she screamed. But even the traditional cry of “BAAABE!!!” was useless as Rob seemed utterly determined to conquer this pile of tomatoes. It’s almost as if he were exorcising some deep, childhood trauma pertaining to tomatoes (and/or tomatillos).
“Rob! I don’t want to look through these M&Ms anymore! Oh, wait. These are tomatoes?”
“Why can’t you be tough?” Rob asked, clearly overlooking all the times he gasped for air and begged Kimberly to slow down in the race. Meanwhile, over at the other challenge, Dustin and Kandice finally found their costumes and began walking around aimlessly, totally lost as to where to go.
They were quite the spectacle, but again, they were nothing compared to Kimberob, who were still screaming and crying and fighting through tomato hell. At one point, Kimberly grew so frustrated that she actually ran up to someone and chucked tomatoes and him, but like her boyfriend, she brilliantly missed her target over and over. Ultimately, she jaunted off, giving herself over to the tears. “Way to cry!” Rob said, apparently never having noticed that Kimberly cries over EVERYTHING. To paraphrase Tom Hanks, there’s no crying in tomato hunting!
I was really hoping that this tomato pile would be the downfall of Kimberob, but alas, after the commercial break, Rob managed to actually find a clue. Sigh. Next destination: the Pit Stop! This one was located by a beautiful fountain at the National Art Museum that had been build during a World’s Fair and blah blah blah. JUST LOOK FOR PHIL.
Well, Kimberob headed off in first place (groan), and remember the ‘Bama girls? Well, they finally got their cab, and because they didn’t want to deal with potentially heavy giant costumes, they too decided to try their hand at the tomatoes. Surprisingly enough, even though the moms were certainly not happy with the tomatoes being flung at them, they didn’t make as much of a spectacle as Kimberob. Then again, it’s pretty difficult to live up to that couple’s perfect maelstrom of idiocy and short temper.
Meanwhile, over at the other challenge, the beauty queens wasted enough critical time trying to get on the right path that the models had caught up to them. With both teams walking together, we knew this could not end well. If Kimberob maintained their first place lead (which they were all but guaranteed to, unless they encountered another roving gang of tomato-flingers), then the Beauty Queens needed to somehow force a thirty minute separation from the boys and/or ‘Bama. Well, the good news was that the girls and the guys split off at one point, giving us hope that maybe the junkie models would burn up a half an hour wandering around and being vain (unlikely — at least with the wandering part). The bad news, however, was that over at the tomato pile, the moms actually managed to find a clue. This meant that unless there was any funny business, it would come down to the Beauty Queens and the junkie models, and with that thirty-minute penalty hanging around, I couldn’t see how Dustin and Kandice would persevere.
Anyway, over at the Pit Stop, Rob and Kimberly made it official as they stepped onto the mat in first place. Ugh. Yes, these two morons were now in the final three, and knowing our luck, they’ll probably win the whole thing. Sensing that the million dollars was just a few hours away, Rob immediately began bawling, causing snickering all across America, I’m sure. Hey Rob, WAY TO CRY.
“Maybe with a million dollars (sniffle, sniffle), I can finally get another (sniffle, sniffle) hideous tattoo…”
Nevertheless, in between sobs, he uttered, “It would just mean a lot to me to win.” It would mean a lot to me if you just shut the hell up and went away.
“I feel so stupid for crying. It’s like I’m one of those small-brained, protein-deprived people from Madagascar.”
Back at the Detour, Dustin and Kandice found the giantess first, which was good, but Tyler and James were right behind them — which was bad. Their only hope was that ‘Bama might somehow get totally lost or stuck in traffic. Well, almost on cue, we found Lyn and Karlyn sitting in bumper to bumper traffic, but we knew this was merely misdirection.
Sure enough, all three final teams were suddenly in the Pit Stop area, searching frantically for a fountain. Who would take second place? Why, none other than ‘Bama! That’s right, for the second straight week, these two unlikely underdogs claimed the number two spot, and even more significantly, they became the first all female team to make it to the final three! Who would have thunk it? Backpack represent!
Anyway, no need to draw this out. Tyler and James took third place — much to their surprise, I think — which meant that sadly, Dustin and Kandice arrived fourth. The penalty didn’t even matter. They were eliminated the old fashioned way: by coming in last. It really sucked. CBS tried ever so hard to make us hate them, but truth be told, Dustin and Kandice were great. They were strong, supportive, crafty, smart, and most of all, they seemed like they were having a blast. Watching them lose out to dumbass Kimberob and cocky Tyler and James was heartbreaking, to say the least.
Well, with the girls gone, it was time for one last tradition: the pre-finale smack talk. Yes, the remaining three teams proudly boasted about why they could beat out the rest. “I feel confidence level is at a ten,” Rob said, adding, “Granted, intelligence might be at a zero. But confidence? Way up there!”
Lyn, meanwhile, told us, “What propels us past those other teams is our ability to remain calm. Both of the two remaining teams are very emotional.” As opposed to KARLYN, who’s just cool as a cucumber!
We then saw a preview for the finale, and while it may be too early to say this for sure, I think CBS may have spoiled it. Don’t read on if you don’t want to hear my theories.
So CBS showed shots of each team running towards the finish line. Rob and Kimberly had huge smiles on their faces, so did the models, and Lyn and Karlyn were scowling. Unless this is massive misdirection, I have to assume that Kimberob will win this whole thing. Face it, if they’re anything but first, they’ll be crying and/or displaying fragile smiles. They just have to be the winners. That means that the moms and the models are some combo of second and third. I sure hope I’m wrong. If Kimberly and Rob win this, it might be worse than Zach and Flo. At least with Zach and Flo, we could kind of like Zach (even though he was a huge pussy). But with Kimberly and Rob, there’s nothing to like about them. They’re like Freddy and Kendra on crack.
They wouldn’t be smiling if they were second…
Second place goodwill?
Third place scowls. They didn’t even bother to drop their bags!
Are we in for quite possibly the biggest and worst Amazing Race upset of all time? What do you think?
TV Social
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45 Comments
B-Side, YOU ARE NUTS! It was extremely easy to hate the blond bitches, with their condescending attitudes, their tossing around of sexuality to gain advantages, and being generally fake and detestable. The only downside from the blond bitches is that we’ll suffer through watching them next season on the All Stars season! ONCE WAS ENOUGH!!!!!!!!
Kimmy’s screaming breakdown and Rob’s screaming encouragement was screaming funny. Can’t wait for them to breed a mess of screaming kids. Yikes!
I am supporting 1/2 of the BamaMamas. The nice half.
Didn’t care for the blondes…glad to see them eliminated the old fashioned way…Bye Bye Bitches.
hb
I don’t know if I’m just crazy and seeing what would be funniest, but if you look at the shadows, it seems like Rob and Kimberly get there earliest. They have almost no shadows whatsoever on them. Neither do the models, for that matter, but their shadows on the grass look pretty long and pointing to the right. And Lyn and Karlyn’s faces are half shaded, so the sun seems pretty damn low at that point.
Now the only question that remains is what will Rob and Kimberly have to complain about with a million dollars in the bank? Bet they find something.
Karlyn may be scowly, but at least she apologized for her bad behavior. Plus, she didn’t cry like a little bitch like Rob.
I could not stop laughing throughout this entire recap! I don’t know if the recap itself was so funny or just remembering back to Kimberly and Rob at the tomato pile. Oh god, that was the best moment of the season right there. They ALMOST deserve to win because they are so funny. Almost. I hope they don’t win though. As much as I don’t want to, I am rooting for James and Tyler. Sigh, I miss the Beauty Queens already.
I’m with HoneyBunny rooting for Lyn, the only person left that I like.
I certainly hope that you’re wrong, B-Side and Kimberob doesn’t win, I would prefer the Junkie Models to them.
Watching that detour melt down was awfully funny. And who would have thought the two teams doing a search detour would come in first and second? That’s why they call this race amazing, I guess.
The tomato chucking was so entertaining — do you think it occurred to either of those geniuses that they could be chucking a tomato which contained a clue at those kids?
Fantastic recap and the Best.Captions.Ever.
Did anyone else notice when Rob started to cry at the end, Kimberly out-and-out snickered at him? I made my husband rewind it several times just to make sure. Even she thinks he’s a pussy!
I am in total agreement with you B-Side over the Beauty Queens. I did NOT dislike either of them . . . I didn’t once see them act any worse than any of the other teams on the race.
They were fierce competitors and beautiful to boot — no wonder the other teams and so many viewers hated them. I find it hilarious that so many people bad-mouth the beautiful people on television shows. Neither of these blondes flipped off another team; neither of them has put down an entire country by saying that its people were dirty or smelled bad; neither of the blondes stole another’s cab or tried to keep a local from answering a simple question. Neither of the blondes yelled and/or screamed at their running mate. They were a strong team . . . and the ex-junkie models KNEW that they were their greatest threat.
I think this season has made the “search” challenges a bit too easy now. Remember the horrible day Kristi and Lena spent unrolling 114 bales of hay to find not a single clue?!? Do we remember Mommy Gaghan combing through a hugh pile of beans to find a single red-colored one? I remember the unfairness of those situations. Do we all now remember how easily the models and the Cho brothers found their sheets of music on the table containing a million or so pieces of sheet music? I can now recall how easily two tomatoes were found in that pile of 5 or 6 thousand of them. Rob told Kimberly that they had only been there 5 minutes — and that is absurd. No way should that challenge have been completed by both teams in such a small amount of time. The search challenges are now easier than the physical tasks.
I agree that seeing Rob and Kimberly win this competition will be a repeat of Freddie & Kendra winning. Ugh. I dislike all of the remaining teams. I am actually not even excited about the finale.
“The only downside from the blond bitches is that we’ll suffer through watching them next season on the All Stars season! ONCE WAS ENOUGH!!!!!!!!”
Slutty_Whore (sorry calling you that); but please tell me that you also wouldn’t want to see ANOTHER season of Rob and Amber. Once was enough for them too . . . but now this is going to be like their 7th time to be on a television show between the two of them. I cannot stand these two and was hoping that I would NEVER have to see or hear either of them again for as long as I lived. They will be the most unwelcome All-Star team to return in my book. Can’t these two go out and get real jobs?!? The are truly pathetic people.
It was so much fun to see not only Kimberob get nailed but Rob’s furious attack on the locals.
Didn’t he realize that two people can cover more ground searching together?
I like how “tough” Kimberly is – walking off the task to leave. But then she kept returning basically telling us that she likes drama and assholes in her life (perhaps not in that order).
Too bad The Blondies got the axe. I was hoping they’d take it all. They played a good race and they must have been a real threat since the other were trying to shoot them down.
Choosing between these three loser teams is going to be tough.
“Are you Madonna?”
LMFAO.
I cannot believe CBS would reveal the winner as they seem to have! My biggest desire is for only Lyn to Wyn!
If you look at those pictures closer you will see BAMAS are not in an open field like the other two teams finishing the race….. they may be a point in the final bit where they are actually in first but moving up hill and looking the worse for wear. I state moving because these two have not run up anything during this whole race.
I am hoping for the biggest misdirection of all. I really cannot believe they would show us these quick clips this week and they would be true!
And on the package this week, I have never commented as i did not read TVGasm before this season and have not viewed much other than a zipper, but the camel package was impressive I must say.
B-Side,
I have to disagree with you about the possible winner. After carefully examining the photos, much like the Zabruder film, I deducted that the junkie models were running to win, and with that a million dollars in white gold, heroin that is.
Their arm movements are much fuzzier than Kimberobs, which denotes a faster arm movement, thus a faster running pace. They are not running in stride, since each one has a different arm extended, and legs are in different points in their running movement. Again, telling me that they are running all out.
Rob, on the other hand, looks to me to have that ‘fragile smile’ on his face, and the two of them appear to be in the same stride with both right arms extending at the same moment. Perhaps knowing that they are not first, but smiling for the camera and the cheering at the finish line.
Just my two cents.
I too had higher hopes for the BQ’s to win it all. I think it would have been much better than Freddie and Kendra on crack or another dominant all male team winning it all.
And I agree that the producers should have done a better job to reduce the number of bunching ups in the legs that are marked for elimination. And why did they deploy the fast forward for the first two ‘marked’ rounds, but not this one???
I hope you are right about the pictures, 3G_Phil. But like the caption says, do you think Rob would be smiling if they were in second? He’d probably stop and yell and scream, saying “Let me have my moment!” Well, lets hope they are in second and they do in fact know how to be gracious losers.
TWilliams… I agree with you about Rob and Amber, but the blond bitches totally rubbed me the wrong way with their derogatory use of the term “sistahs” and their rampant use of sexuality to get ahead. I know, I know, it’s all a part of the game, but they weren’t successful by their own grit and determination, but by the number of horny men across the globe appreciating the company of two attractive women. The blond bitches were one-note, and unappealing at best. In this situation, however nutty it may seem, R&A are more forgivable in this situation.
The episode was hilarious but not very exciting since it was so obvious what the outcome would be.
Of the three teams, I hope Kimberob wins because they are soo funny.
The models were boring throughout the season. I can’t remember one interesting scene with them. The sistahs are rude, jealous, and poor sports.
The Beauty Queens were always competing and entertaining. I am sorry they are gone.
You do know what this means, don’t you? There is absolutely NO ONE left to root for, with the exception of Lyn. Why she EVER agreed to do this with Karlyn is such a mystery. She had to have know what a hot-head her partner was before ever signing up for the show.
Really don’t think I’ll even bother with next week’s episode, since I don’t give a shit who wins now. The BQs were the best this season had to offer. Never once did they rely on an “alliance” to further themselves. Never once did they scream and cuss out other teams. They took on all physical challenges with huge smiles and a “go for it” attitude. Dustin and Candance, I’ll miss you. You should have won.
And for the all-stars season. I’m not even going to bother unless Romber gets eliminated pretty early in. Can’t stomach sitting through another second of their “15 minutes of fame.” Die already!
I agree with 3G_Phil. My initial reaction to watching the preview (and re-watching it) is that James & Tyler seem much more excited and are running for first place.
Also, Kim and Rob seem to be friends with Tyler & James so if they were to come in second and saw them already standing at the mat – I think they would smile such as they are in the pictures. Now if it was Bama already there in first place – I don’t think that would be the case at all.
I laughed during the entire time rob screamed DAMNIT,BABE,WAY TO BE A QUITTER. It was also funny watching kim try to stand up for herself only to fail miserably
Even though I hate, hate, HATE Kimberly (not Flo-hate, but pretty damned close), I did feel bad for her getting pounded in the head with tomatoes (I snickered as I typed that). That looked like a hard-ass challenge.
That being said, I think that her and Rob are perfect for each other. She clearly demonstrated that she doesn’t have a backbone either, when she continuously quit the challenge, and kept going back when she saw that Rob wasn’t budging.
Here’s my take on the detour search…it’s possible that most teams know the difficulty of this and would decide to take the giants over the search. Perhaps the producers made this one a bit more simple because of that. I felt dread when Bama decided on the search, but it worked to their advantage. Wandering a mile around a strange city in a giant costume would be pretty tough when you consider it.
Anyhow, I am sorry to see the blondes go too. I would have preferred them in the final three because they’d actually have a shot at winning. I have rooted for Bama since the beginning cause they need the money, but they don’t have a shot in hell against Kimberob and The Junkies.
I loved this recap because I tend to forget how idiotic Rob and Kim can be. I mean GAGGING over camel meat, give me a break! How do you mistake lambs for dogs? Calling out your girlfriend for crying and then you blubber at the mat!! Not only that, he’s not crying because it’s been a challenge or an enriching experience with his other half, but rather because he might WIN.
Rob and Kimberly are SUCH a train wreck and I can’t keep my eyes off of them! I’m rooting for them to win the whole thing. Basically, anyone but Bama.
“It was extremely easy to hate the blond bitches, with their condescending attitudes, their tossing around of sexuality to gain advantages, and being generally fake and detestable.”
Wow. Are we all watching the same show? I didn’t see any of this at all and I don’t understand where some of you are getting it from, except from the general distaste there seems to be for contestants on reality game shows who play to win.
I particularly don’t get this “flaunting their sexuality” stuff. Were they rubbing up against locals and other contestants when I wasn’t looking? Seriously, where the heck is that coming from? So they asked locals for help with smiles on their faces. Damn it, that’s almost porn! If their looks helped them at all, they can’t be blamed for that. Maybe if they’re on All-Stars (I’m keeping my fingers crossed), they should wear burqas to keep the haters happy.
As for being condescending, who have they been condescending to? Alabama, who have shown them nothing but hatred since the start. They were nice to Kentucky who were nice to them.
Then there is “fake and detestable.” I guess if you’re seeing all this seething sexuality, there may be issues that may cause you to see them as fake and detestable too.
Dustin and Kandice were the best team of the season. They were competitive, worked hard (there is only so far “sexuality” can get someone), honest about their motivation, and ran with a lot of joy.
Anyway, B-Side, I have to be pedantic here. A tomato is a fruit, not a vegetable.
However, you made up for it with the very good point of all the equalizers that really gave whoever was marked for elimination no chance at all. At least the other non-elimination legs were followed by Fast Fowards. So in the end, the Miss Americas were screwed by a poorly thought out spin on non-eliminations (they may have come in fourth, but that may not have happened if they didn’t lose their original lead).
I am bummed the BQs were eliminated. A million dollars would be good for them but their tenacity, hard work and good attitudes will make them successful without winning a reality TV show.
I just can’t stand that one of those other three teams might win. I have to cheer for Tyler and James out of hatred for the other two teams.
Rob and Kimberly should be ashamed of they way they act and I can’t believe that either one of them would consider marrying the other. I guess they deserve each other.
As for Lyn and Karlyn, in their own words, they should have “learned to run their own race.” They are so quick to accuse everybody else of everything that they themselves are guilty of. Badmouthing other teams, being rude to each other, being rude to the locals, using other teams, etc. They used the Chos for everything they had and now they are merely getting lucky. They aren’t smart players and when the mean one runs her mouth I need subtitles. Maybe she really should just stick to hand gestures.
Go models, I guess.
“Babe, why doesn’t anyone help me when I throw my arms up like an exasperated ass?”
LOL! Best. Ever. i am glad that no one is at work when i read these things!
GO DRUGGIE MODELS!
Oh no, B-Side, it’s so easy to dislike the “beauty” queens. They were not nice or honest and just so you know, white girls calling black women “sistahs” is offensive and annoying and ignorant. I was so happy and cheering at home when the “beauty” queens lost, hell, I’d even be happy if the models won at this point. I hope Lyn/Lyn will shock us all and pull out a victory. Go Lyn/Lyn!
#24- I can point to several times in recent weeks in which the blond bitches used their sexuality to gain advantages (in Finland, where they coerced a gentleman to lead them to a location, and in Casablanca, the guy in the orange shirt leading them to the location of the detour.)
I don’t know what show YOU are watching, Tabby. D/K are NOT really fierce competitors; they are like most attractive women who feel entitled and use men to get their way (re: asking the junkie models to forfeit first place so they wouldn’t be forced to take their penalty.)
If they were less stereotypically attractive like Lyn/Lyn, for example, wouldn’t they have been eliminated weeks ago? I am, for one, glad that those two bitches have been eliminated because they added nothing to the show and once again proved that anytime a woman flaunts her sexuality, a man is putty in her hands.
At least Lyn/Lyn, like them or hate them, used their wits to get in the game (craftily joining an alliance and using it until it was no longer beneficial; reading and buying maps at equalizer points, etc.). I am not saying that the blond bitches played a bad game per se; it’s just not a game that I would respect had they won.
CBS did a bang-up job making me hate Team Silicone. I have wished for their ejection since the minute they opened their bitchy mouths.
I hope to see Team Booger Sugar take a powder next. (By the by, I refuse to call them models. First of all, paying for a few headshots does not a model make, but mostly it’s because I have the gift of sight.)
I wouldn’t mind seeing the “Sistas” win (thanks, Team Bimbo, for making racism cool again!), but if Rob and Kimberly win, I will never stop laughing.
I don’t think the BQs were stereotypical anything, but if they were then I don’t think they had a monopoly on stereotypicality in this show.
#28, All sorts of teams get locals (aka ferns) to help them, and yet when the BQs do it, it makes them slutty, whoring bitches??!! The BQs have used them on and off (certainly not always), as Bama has as well. Certainly their looks aren’t a hindrance, but I’ve seldom seen any team have any problems getting help, because people tend to respond to having a tv camera in their face. It makes sense to target men, as most teams do, because they are more likely to be comfortable getting in some random car.
As for their comment that the maddicts let them step on the mat, it was certainly intended in a “won’t hurt for asking” sorta way. The maddicts immediately blew them off, which the BQs pretty much expected them to do.
I don’t see how the BQs used their sexuality to help them. It’s not like they were prancing around in bras and short shorts and hanging all over guys to get their help. They seemed to use the same strategy as everyone else to get help.
I couldn’t disagree with you more slutty_whore. I don’t feel like the blondes intentionally used their looks to get anything. They never wore revealing clothing, and like many other teams (even on this cast), had locals help them. They did not use other teams and did not follow other teams. They are the only team (with the exception of the models) that actually seemed like they were having a good time for the whole race. It sounds from your rant that you are jealous of attractive people. It’s not their fault that their looks helped the cause.
Oh B-side, another fierce round-up of the TAR antics. This week was expecially Kimberob hysterical!! Listening to Kim bitch and bitch was cracking me up.
Btw – I totally agree that they should do a crossover with ANTM. Tyra can meet the teams and proceed to a photo shoot. Phil can put on a corset and a bad wig and I don’t know if people will notice that Tyra is gone!
slutty_whore, eh? Your display name seems to indicate you might be one to use more than just looks to get attention. Beauty Queens forever!
Well, YankeesFan, by that same notion (that the BQ’s can’t help that they are “attractive”) then why do people keep saying oh, they got so far because they were “nice”, “hardworking”,”fair”, “used tenacity”. PLEASE. It’s really not true, and it is really because of none of the above. They were able to get father because, sadly, if you have two “attractive”-and I use this term loosely when describing those two horsey-looking broads-and especially if they are blondes in a foreign country, and then you add cameras to the mix, people are going to go out of their way to help them along, and the blondes counted on that and played on that reality, and coasted their way to the head of the pack many times over. Hey, nothing wrong with that, use what you’ve got to get what you want. Just don’t credit it to what great girls they are, or how much more they wanted it than anyone else. Once they had to rely on their own ditzy brains, they came in last twice in a row and were eliminated, and rightfully so. If they were all that, they would still be in the game. Cute will only take a person so far; you have to have some meat to go with your sizzle, and sorry, the blondes obviously did not have it.
Bye Bye Blondies! They were such annoying, stupid loserly dumbasses. They got lost on a two-lane highway last episode. Anyone who says they are smart has not been watching the show.
Them calling Lyn/Lyn the “sistahs” was so incredibly ridiculous that I cannot comment further than “yay racism!”
They are not attractive, at least to me. one of them looks like her face was squashed in a vise and the other looks like she got in the face with a frying pan one time too many. And both had these phony, shit-eating grins on their faces the entire time. I wanted to just punch the both in the face. They thought they were going to win, that’s why they were so “upbeat” all the time. They are the types of people who like, if you are playing a game with points and they are ahead by a lot, they’ll just sit there and talk and laugh about unrelated shit because they think they are going to win . I hate people like that.
They weren’t smart, they couldn’t read maps and got lost everytime they didn’t follow a taxi or get someone to hop in with them. Lyn/Lyn found that place in Morocco all by themselves, why? Because they can read a map and didn’t need to pick someone up to help. Those dumb bitches deserved to get kicked off and wipe those smug smiles off their faces.
Aside from that, Rob and Kim are fucking hilarious but I hope they do not win.
Tyler and James are not bad, but I’d be hard pressed to find anyone who thinks that as soon as they win that money, they’ll go right back to their old druggie ways.
Lyn/Lyn won’t win because they haven’t been first on any of the legs and the last leg always has some physical challenge and they really just can’t do those. I do hope they get some money however, for appearing on various talk shows and using their 15 minutes to get some cash for their kids.
This is a stellar recap B-side! The whole dog/goat/sheep thing is hysterical. I wonder how Kimberly feels watching that one at home. Your camel head screencaps are also LOL! Gross, but funny.
Go Bama? I’m hardpressed to figure out how they’re gonna pull out a win, but it would be nice to see an all female team finally take it.
slutty_whore, et al. I have to ask the same question…what show were you watching?
When did you decide to “hate” the pretty girls? When they walked down the dock on the first episode? When you saw this season’s lineup on the CBS website?
It’s pretty clear that you made up your mind about the BQs and then have subsequently twisted the facts to suit your premise that all pretty girls just use their looks and sexuality to get by.
They just asked the guy in Casablanca with the orange shirt to help them. How did they coerce him?
They always ran hard, pushed themselves physically, and had fun. To you, they had “smirks” on their faces, but that’s because that word supports your premise. If they were smirking, then they would have been whiny bitches when they encountered difficulty, but you rarely saw that.
They may have said some stupid things at times, but who doesn’t? They also worked independently at airports, found alternate routes to ditch “followers” and made smart choices based on logic at detours and roadblocks. Everyone makes mistakes on these races – that’s how you end up getting eliminated. It doesn’t make them any dumber or smarter than anyone else.
This was a team of two good-looking women who worked hard to get to the front, worked independently because they wanted it that way, enjoyed the overall experience and made no bones about wanting to win. But you (and I don’t mean to single you out – you obviously aren’t the only one who rushed to judgment back in September) only choose to see what you want to see.
Look back on the season objectively and then see if you feel like you are wrong about the BQs. And let me give you a hint – you are.
OMG, I sincerely hope that Kimberob DO NOT win! It was great watching them get bombarded with the tomatoes though. I’d like to see Lyn/Lyn take it all, but I can’t see that happening if it comes down to a physical challenge… I only mildly disliked the BQ’s , because they were just so damn annoyingly upbeat all the time! But they did run an awesome race. Great recap!
Youngbob, you are 100% correct in your post. I agree with everything you have typed.
People hate the beauty queens because they are beauty queens. Isn’t it odd how so many are saying they got by on their looks when NOBODY is saying the same thing about the male models who are also nice looking individuals?!? Why are you all so sexist? The models make a living because of their beauty! I cannot believe that people honestly believe these women only advanced in the race because of their beauty BUT don’t even suggest the same for these male models! Oh the hypocrisy! If beauty and sexuality were all the beauty queens had they’d have been gone a long time ago (remember the cheerleaders?). You are right Youngbob, people twist all of these situations to fit THEIR viewpoints (smirks? — what about the scowls of jealousy from other teams directed towards these two blondes?). . . when their viewpoint would only hold true for one of the three beautiful teams on this race. It is preposterous to argue this . . . it doesn’t hold true to the other teams and it only holds true to the BQs because people want to hate them.
I know the Washington DC is the capital of the United States and that Canberra is the capital of Australia. I also KNOW that the Beauty Queens ran a steady, respectable race. I KNOW that they were fierce competitors that some of the other teams feared. I have to agree that others hated them from day one — because seriously, Beauty Queens are generally thought to be shallow, generic and elitist. I think both Dustin and Candace stepped outside of this unfair stereotype. They should be proud of how they ran the race . . . they never showed dislike and/or hatred like Karlyn or Kimberly has done.
I can’t believe people are seriously bitching that the Miss Americas’ looks helped them. Oh no!
You know what I hate? When teams who are younger and more physically fit use their bodies to help them outrun older teams. The bastards!
You know what else I hate? When smarter teams use their brains to outthink less intelligent and less educated opponents. The bitches!
I didn’t see the BQs using their looks to their advantage, but if it helped, so friggin’ what? Should they be racing in burqas? That is a really stupid thing to hate someone for.
i’m with slutty_whore–i’m glad to see the BQs go. they drove me crazy. i really liked them in the beginning, unfortunately, the more we saw of them, the less there was to like. plus, i’m always suspicious when the other teams all seem to dislike a team–racers may resent teams that are really good, but it doesn’t usually follow that they dislike the individuals.
despite their sunshine edit (i thought they were edited to show them as beautiful, strong, independent, upbeat, competitors–and i’m not saying that they aren’t all of those things–and that we were supposed to be behind them 100%) i found their smug, back-biting, condescending attitudes and general sense of entitlement offensive. their whole “everyone hates us because we’re so wonderful” line made me sick–yeah they did well, yeah they were racing hard and not trying to make friends, but that doesn’t erase their behavior–and i don’t think you have to be jerks to win.
the way they treated the people who worked for the airlines–a number of times–was embarrassing, although i do think Karlyn was worse one at least one occasion. not telling Rob and Kim about their flat tire was dangerous–and didn’t give them any sort of competitive advantage–unless something bad happened to Rob and Kim.
the first time they called the Lyns sistas i thought maybe they had some sort of inside thing with them, but they kept doing it even after it was very clear that they didn’t like them. that really isn’t cool–i don’t think the BQs meant to be offensive, but that just makes it worse. there was also the asian paper-making comment–their offensive and obviously fake attempt at building a sense of camaraderie with the Cho bros.
my dislike for them has nothing to do with their looks–it is all about their attitudes–although i must admit that perky people always get on my nerves. i really thought that i should like them because they were edited to look like the sweet, all-american girls next door, and i thought i was supposed to like them, but i’m so glad they’re gone. hopefully they will be out early on all-stars.
LISTEN TO ME!!!! (love the title) I have to say pq (#43), you do an excelent job of contradicting nearly every point you try to make as to why everyone should dislike the BQ’s. I must also point out that you clearly admit your motive for disliking them “although i must admit that perky people always get on my nerves.”
As for the other BQ hating posts, most of the arguments that are raised as reasons why the BQ’s are a bad team is wrong, misleading or ignorant of the facts presented from the episodes (e.g. they did inform Kimberob that they had a flat).
We get it, you don’t like them because you have a thing against attractive independent blond women. Whatever your personal issues with this type of person, get over it!! The BQ team ran an outstanding race, in the tradition of other notable teams, like the clowns and the frat bros., where they ran hard and positive. No (or extremly little) whining!!
Now, as far as an all star team, I think that the BQ’s could make a strong showing. Team Bama, on the other hand, benefited strongly from the backpack (mainly the Cho’s and Tom -n- Jerry) in the early rounds. They had some lucky breaks along the way, but in no way have they shown any strength in this race (compared with the other top teams).
I’m still laughing about the Tyra bit – funny as hell. B-Side, you have a fan right here!.