Amazing Race: Pre-Premier Recap!

Welcome back kids! bBitz is back and it’s time once again to remember that 11 random couples + The World + 1 Million Dollars – adequate sleep + Phil = THE AMAZING RACE (and comic gold)!

This season looks to be the most exciting one yet! They’ve shortened the amount of time on the race and increased the mileage! Perfect! That decreases the rationality and increases the drama and bloodshed! Otherwise known as ENTERTAINMENT!

And now… the new cast!

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Cara and Jaime: Team Cheerleader

Cara and Jaime are best friends and met while they were Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders. Here, Jaime is demonstrating how they got on the show. Give me a “B”! Give me a “J”! What’s that spell?! Anyways, they seem friendly which is always how things start before someone loses a sports bra.

Christie and Jodie: Team Flight Attendant

Christie and Jodi are two flight attendants who have heavily studied previous AR seasons! Wow – blondes with brains – THAT will be a refreshing change for this show. AND they’ll be able to find the emergency exit in any situation. I recognize these faces above too – they’re always the ones telling me I can’t use the first class bathroom. Bitches.

Margie and Luke: Team Silent But Deadly

I swear I just happen to screen shot during the interview and this is the photo I got. Luke is deaf and Margie is his mom. They claim their advantage is being able to communicate without other teams hearing – hence silent but deadly. I can’t WAIT for that. I just pray that Luke is a trash talker and has the dirtiest hands in all of sign language. Is it wrong for me to think that if Mom were blind this could have been the funniest team ever?

Mel and Mike: Team Rednecks Hate Us

Mel is Mike’s gay father. Mike is a very pale writer and actor. Together they form the most comedic and liberal duo to hit this race since Charla and Mirna. They claim they’ve been working out to get in shape for the race. Although Mike looks like he could barely bench press his 90lb father. They’ve also been learning different languages. I hope they learned how to say, “Do you sell SPF 70?” and “Pardon me, can you tell me where we can purchase a hip replacement?”

Amanda and Kris: Team Beauty No Brains

Ahh… just the way I like ‘em. Hot and dumb as shit. Amanda and Kris are dating. I’m hoping they’re on the race just long enough for Kris to take off his shirt. I’m guessing that won’t be long. Highlights from the interview: Kris: “We love to meet new peoples.” Amanda says Kris has a lot of strengths and then lists “Physically fit… and really strong.” And ends it there. My last fav part was when they say they have an edge because they’re the youngest – but they haven’t met any of the other teams yet – but as far as they can tell they’re the youngest. Wow.

Brad and Victoria: Team Zzzzzzz….

Oh my god – these two are total snoresville. I only hope the casting directors found out that Brad’s been banging a transvestite and it’s gonna come out on the race in the middle of an argument. Brad says Victoria’s strength is her energy – and I swear that was her face above when he said it. They’re married. They’re boring. With any luck they’ll be the first to go.

Jennifer and Preston: Team Drama

I’m calling it now that these two will be the most fun to watch! They got in a disagreement in the INTERVIEW! Preston said he was doing the race to travel and then Jennifer snapped “We’re doing this for our relationship” and then followed it up with “But first and foremost for the million dollars.” LOVE IT. Can’t wait for this category 5 shitstorm to begin!

Tammy and Victor: Team Sibling Rivalry

These two should also be great for drama. They’re lawyers and siblings – so the fighting should be non-stop. I especially love how they say their strength is being siblings and then go on to say how they know exactly how to piss each other off. Perfect!

Mark and Michael: Team Weebles Wobble

These two are brothers, 4’9″ and are little guys out for a fight. I’m also hoping that they address why one of them has the biggest rack on the show. Honestly I just can’t wait to watch them run. With any luck the clue boxes will all be 6 feet off the ground. That would make my day.

Linda and Steve: Team Awww Shucks

These two are adorable! A married couple from Virginia, they remind me very much of hick couple “Dave and Mary” from season 10. These two are gonna provide the tear-jerker moment – I just know it! And it might be when they decide to help Mel and Mike escape from a right wing lynching mob in Romania.

Lakisha and Jennifer: Team Fierce!

I love this team! These are two sisters that claim they “Just want to have fun and do whatever it takes to win!” Hmmm… two things that cannot coexist – can’t wait! They’re laid back – yet super aggressive. Let’s watch how fast they go from “This is fun!” to “Bitch I will CUT you!”

And that’s it! Any predictions?! Thoughts?! I can’t wait for Sunday night! Until then gasmi… DISH IT!