From The Shark-Jumping Department: New Amazing Race Cast

Amazing Race

By B-Side | Tuesday, August 16, 2005 | 1:08 pm | 34 Comments

AR_family
Are you kidding me?

For months we’ve been hearing about the unfortunate Amazing Race: Family Edition, and today, the cast has finally been revealed. It’s not good, people. It’s not good at all. I’m praying that this season will have me eating my words because right now, there are flippin’ nine-year olds running around on this show. If I wanted to see this junk, I’d be tuning into ABC. And oh yeah, the route has been reduced to a pithy 30,000 miles total, far less than the usual 72,000. In an E! Online article, the producers are already doing some pre-emptive damage control, saying that this installment will be really, really, really good! They should just shut up. I mean, we’re gonna watch it anyway. We’re beholden to it. But don’t patronize us.

(Meanwhile, cut to me six weeks from now singing the praises of The Amazing Race. Damn you!!)

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34 Comments

  1. 1
    America's Next Top Fan
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 1:15 pm

    Listen, unless one of those kids are gonna get eaten by a shark then the AR producers can go F-themselves.

    I don’t want to watch 9 year old Suzie screaming “I gotta go to the bathroom” at the start of the third leg of the race at 2:34 am in Budapest!

  2. 2
    punkrox
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 1:15 pm

    This is going to suck! Dammit!!!

  3. 3
    joslyn
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 1:25 pm

    C’mon B, you know it’s gonna be good! Step outside of your “single guy, no kids thank you very much” hateration and think back to all of the family trips you took as a kid that were supposed to be fun, but really everyone got on each others’ nerves by the third day, and some had to be separated somehow for fear of blood being drawn. OK, now multiply that by being in a competitive environment, your family against all the others, and trying to win cash and prizes AND the pressure of being on TV and being watched by millions of people. Hello, meltdown! Hello must-see-TV!

  4. 4
    carol
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 1:29 pm

    I want to see 9 year old Carissa eat 4 pounds of meat. This season is going to be really good because the kids are so annoying or it is going to blow because the kids are perfect.

  5. 5
    sweetblondie30
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 1:32 pm

    ugh…i already want to bitch slap that little blonde girl!

  6. 6
    carol
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 1:34 pm

    Just looked at the family bios. The Linz Family is my pick for the team that is going to kick some ass. They are all between the ages of 19 and 24. Some of the other teams look good, but I think the Gaghan Family (pictured above) is going to fall flat.

  7. 7
    Ozone Dude
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 1:48 pm

    Let’s hope Spring brings us “Amazing Race: Family Pets Edition”.

  8. 8
    Papercuts!
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 1:52 pm

    Careful what you wish for, B-Side, or we’re going to see an abusive daddy beat the crap out of his son on television because the kid couldn’t carry everyone’s packs to the finish line fast enough.

    This will, of course, start a months-long obsession for you that will include you stalking the family at the airport.

  9. 9
    Nathan
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 1:53 pm

    Anyone else find it HILARIOUS that the only African-American team is named ‘The Black Family’?

    Should make for some interesting snark.

  10. 10
    copygodd
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 1:54 pm

    are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?

  11. 11
    ha!
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 2:05 pm

    I believe the scuttlebutt around the internet is that the course this time around is quite tame for the kiddies. There have been numerous sightings at multiple locations (during the taping) here in the U.S. I doubt that they will be going to the really exotic places, so as not to put the kids in harm’s way. Probably England, France, Australia, etc.

    But, yeah, it could very well be 30000 miles of ‘are we there yet?’ :)

    ha!

  12. 12
    Lady J
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 2:21 pm

    Surely there will be an ep where one parent cusses at another family’s kid. That’ll be worth tuning in for. I’m reading Phil’s book right now.

  13. 13
    ha!
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 2:31 pm

    Beauty Pageant Contestant alert!

    According to the bios, team Rogers not only has a former Miss Louisiana, but the mother works as a beauty pageant trainer. This is gonna be good.

    And is it just me, or did CBS mix up the Weaver family in their family photo? Rachel looks like the 19 year old, and Rebecca looks like a 16 year old.

    ha!

    P.S. “Mom, he’s breathing my air again!” “I’m not touching you – am I bothering you? Cuz I’m not touching you!”

  14. 14
    Grellis
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 2:43 pm

    Beg to differ, B-Side, but I think this season has a lot of potential. Think of all the fun to be had guessing at which of the little tykes will throw the most and worst fits, and the drinking games that can be made out of the kids throwing fits or their parents invariably freaking out.

    Add to that the amusement that will come from watching awkward teenage hookup attempts, the Bransen father trying to fend off the invariable advances on his daughters, and you’ve got a recipe for some good TV.

    And with any luck, one of the pit stops will be at Brat Camp.

  15. 15
    nicole
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 2:52 pm

    I will NOT be watching this. The CBS Early Show profiled all of the teams.

    It’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen in my life. You have families with kids competing against some teams comprised purely of adults.

    Stupid.

  16. 16
    callygirl
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 3:40 pm

    Given that this is TAR, I won’t count them out just yet. If this were a new edition of some other reality competition show, I might not give the producers the benefit of the doubt. But these people initially had the foresight to hire Phil and create the concept of the detour (a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons), so I’m going to tune in and see how it goes.

  17. 17
    downtownlala
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 3:43 pm

    In the original casting notice, CBS said they were looking for all types of family. It looks like they went with the narrow traditional definition. So sad. They should call this the “Straight White Families Plus one Black One Edition.”

  18. 18
    Hinha
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 4:11 pm

    Wow! Just saw the CBS.com photo. All that white skin! So much blonde hair! Only one black familly? Where are the latinos in this country?!! (Oh, that’s right, working for a living!)

    One more reason this season wil suck: No more crazy taxi drivers. Yes, you can’t fit six people (the team and the crew) in a taxi.

  19. 19
    Retroqueen
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 4:15 pm

    Holy Crap! Just what I don’t want to watch. I thought the pic was fake! It looks like an insurance company commercial family. Just looking at them makes my teeth ache.

    Hmmm maybe one of the 9 year old gets kidnapped into white slavery or one of the parents loses control and beats the sh*t out of them, now that would be worth watching ;)

  20. 20
    sg-dub
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 4:17 pm

    I felt the need to chime in: This show will suck. I hate whining – and kids whine. I hate namby pambyism – and kids are namby pambys. I hate “special rules” to help weak players – and kids are super weak. And I hate gimmicks – this format is pure gimmick.

    Weak. And yeah, where ARE all the Asians and Latinos on these shows? Reality shows have fallen prey to the Hugh Hefnerization of the world – and I’m sick of it. GIVE ME SOME GOD DAMN FLAVOR.

  21. 21
    mikey
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 4:37 pm

    I just visited the AR8 page at cbs. Did anyone else notice the black family is actually the Black family?! It will make it easy to watch them on the leaderboard.

  22. 22
    Maura
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 5:27 pm

    I’m torn. I don’t think this was a particularly good idea on the face of it, but I do think that it could make for some interesting TV.

    Because it’s AR and they’ve come a long way since they started (Did anyone watch the first season on GSN recently? Talk about a rough start!), I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt until at least the second episode.

    And then I’m going to watch anyway because I just love that show.

  23. 23
    amygirl
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 5:28 pm

    For Amazing Race fans who have missed previous seasons, they are now on the Game Show network everynight (even Saturday and Sunday) at 8pm and 11pm central time. Luckily for me, the only season that I have seen was the most recent, so I am loving this (tonight is the final of Season 3). I am really discouraged that they are bringing children on this show now… I wont be watching it. It changes the entire game and won’t make it nearly as interesting. CBS has screwed up as bad as Kaysar-

  24. 24
    Dennis
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 5:30 pm

    I’m going to withhold judgement until the first episode. As long as the families with the youngest kids go early, it could be interesting seeing foursomes bicker worse than couples.

    Couple of those adult kids better be gay, though. Reality TV doesn’t work without at least one token gay. So I’m hoping there’s at least one mom who’s Wiccan with three daughters, one “Born Again”, one lesbian, and one accountant. A nice mix.

  25. 25
    tv freak
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 6:07 pm

    This show is gonna rock!

    Am I the only one who watched the show that was like tar for families. Family Face-off on Nick @ nite was a cool show that I got into at the end of last year and was pretty cool.

  26. 26
    tv freak
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 6:37 pm

    btw: did sitboy make it on

  27. 27
    joslyn
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 7:42 pm

    Yes, TV Freak, I saw Family Face Off. That was like my sleeper favorite show for a hot minute! If TAR Fam Edition is anything like that, it should be good.

  28. 28
    Paul Christensen
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 8:47 pm

    Mate this will be great cant wait till it gets to Oz we love it down here.
    G,day to all from Australia and keep on racing,Hi Phil

  29. 29
    Stan Lee
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 8:50 pm

    Well I guess I will say it first

    BRING BACK JONATHAN AND VICTORIA

    Next it wil be a chimp and his mother running the race.

  30. 30
    arggggg
    Posted August 16, 2005 at 9:19 pm

    why are they changing it? this season is going to suck!!! has cbs heard of a concept called diversity?!

  31. 31
    EdHill
    Posted August 17, 2005 at 6:44 am

    MAybe they will force the 9 year old to eat spicy hungarian soup which she will then vomit up into her bowl, and the n force her to eat her own vomit.

    THat would be awesome.

  32. 32
    sweetblondie30
    Posted August 17, 2005 at 7:11 am

    Where’s the COLOUR!!?

    I mean c’mon, 500 million people down there and the producers can only find ONE non-straight-white family to compete??!! tsk tsk tsk.

  33. 33
    Papercuts!
    Posted August 17, 2005 at 9:11 am

    Stan Lee, I would TOTALLY watch a Chimp and his mother running the Amazing Race. That would be quality television for the poop-throwing alone.

  34. 34
    Stacy Mcneail
    Posted August 30, 2005 at 4:40 pm

    I met Jonathan In SC this past summer, he was respectful and kind to everyone he met. Jonathan out of all the reality stars spent the most time with all of us. I am just an average person who would like the world to know Jonathan and Victoria are very nice to each other and to the people they come in contact with.

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