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Wednesday, March 23, 2005
4:02 pm
59 Comments
Things that I learned from this week’s Amazing Race:
1) I have officially become a conspiracy theorist regarding Rob and Amber’s unending streak of “good luck.”
2) Ray and Deana are a lethal mixture of bland, annoying, and whiny.
3) We get two full hours of Amazing Race fun next week featuring guest stars Bleeding Head Wound and Overturned Vehicle. Can’t wait!
But anyway. Enumeration is for losers. Let’s recap!
The episode began with Lynn and Alex happily bounding out of the Pitstop first. The two boasted about their gigantic lead, noting that they were hours ahead of Rob and Amber, their arch rivals. Thankfully, if history has taught us anything, it’s that teams never have a chance to catch up on the Amazing Race. And yes, that was sarcasm. Alex and Lynn losing their lead was about as inevitable as the two of them happily embracing over the Spring Sale at Banana Republic.
Anyway, the guys headed out to Cabaña La Guatana, a horse ranch that promised to faithfully provide a time crunch, and sure enough, the establishment didn’t open until 6:30 AM. The good news for Alex and Lynn was that they only had to wait thirty minutes instead of the customary twelve hours. Meanwhile, Uchenna and Joyce left the Pitstop next, but they soon became lost on the back roads of Argentina. Yes, navigation proved to be difficult for the beleaguered couple as Uchenna commented, “It’s like giving birth, man.” He then added, “Not that we’d know. Have I mentioned that we’re childless?”
Speaking of broken records (okay, to be fair, Uchenna and Joyce are really not very broken-record-ish), Ron and Kelly soon showed up on the screen. Our favorite POW — or F-POW, as I like to call him (note that I will never call him that again) — said that he and the little lady had no long term alliances with the other teams. “Coming from the military, you’re used to being able to trust people,” he said immediately. Is there anything he can’t relate to the military? “So I was watching the Golden Girls last night, and when the gals were all digging into some cheesecake, I couldn’t help thinking of the unsavory desserts we were served in the military. Incidentally, my commanding officer’s name was B. Arthur.” I just made that entire line up, but I hate Ron even more now.
At 6:30 AM, the ranch opened up, allowing Lynn and Alex to grab the next clue. Turns out this was home to the next roadblock. Someone had to mount a horse and then perform a traditional gaucho activity: ride through a course of barrels and then “spear a ring”, all under forty seconds. Doesn’t sound very intense, but keep in mind that “ring” is Argentinean slang for “small child.”
Alex opted to do the Roadblock, and as Lynn served as a cheerleader on the sidelines, we received a glimpse into what their most intimate moments might sound like: “Faster! Faster! Faster! [pause] Alex, that was so close. You missed it by one sec.” Joyce meanwhile said that since she’d ridden a horse once, she could take care of the challenge. She headed to the stable to pick out a steed, and when she found one that she liked, she cooed that he seemed nice. This was then followed with the patented Amazing Race slow-mo of doom. I guess Joyce will be biting it in a few minutes.
Sure enough, Joyce managed to pick what appeared to be the sole rodeo bronco in the mix. The horse immediately reared up on its hind legs, sending Joyce tumbling to the ground multiple times. Well, so much for that baby.
Lynn and Alex eventually finished the Roadblock and received the next clue. Teams were to get on one of two flights heading to Buenos Aires. Once there, they’d have to go to a park and find a shady man wearing all black. Not sure who the guy was, but he appeared to be a strange mixture of Zorro and The Undertaker. Either way, I was pretty sure he wanted to murder all the teams.
Ron and Kelly meanwhile arrived at the Roadblock, ready to kick some Iraqi ass. Kelly volunteered to do this challenge, causing Ron to tell the locals, “Yesterday I ate crap. Today she gets to ride a horse. Just want y’all to know that.” He then added, “By the way, I was a POW. Just want y’all to know that too.”
While Ron and Kelly were horsin’ around at the Roadblock (nice pun, right? That would have won an Emmy had it come out of Sarah Jessica Parker’s mouth), Rob and Amber were lost on the roads with the Brohans behind them. For once, Rob and Amber appeared to be genuinely alarmed, and they seemed ready to ask “Where’s that nice guy from CBS to help me?” Well, luckily, they managed to stumble upon the ranch and disaster was averted. The brothers arrived shortly after, with Greg happily chirping “Good job, B! Good job, B!” You know these bros must love their initials. Especially Greg, whose friends I’m sure constantly shower him with “Whatup, G?” I’m also willing to bet his Friendster profile is littered with several “G Love and Special Sauce” puns. Or at least a few shout outs to G-Unit. If this were a sitcom, a cute little girl would enter and say “Still talking about his initials? Gee whiz!” Then we’d cut to commercial as the audience claps.
By the way, speaking of Friendster, feel free to become TVgasm’s friend.
Anyway, as Rob dealt with the horsies, Amber continued to marvel at their ability to find the ranch. “Somebody’s watching over us. That’s for sure,” she guffawed. Yeah, I think that “somebody” is CBS. Our conspiracy theory grew stronger as Rob completed the course with a time of “Perfect!” Normally, I’d just assume that meant he finished the Roadblock under forty seconds, but since I have my Drudge Report cap on, I’ll just put it out there that we didn’t see his time because they gave him a free pass. JUST SAYING.
Meanwhile, over at the airport, all the teams thus far had boarded the first plane leaving for Buenos Aires. Well, everyone had boarded except Rob and Amber. Even the brothers had managed to get on — and with just three minutes to spare. Surely the Survivor vets would be stuck on the second flight leaving five hours later! I mean, the cabin door was closed and ready to go. As the entire plane buzzed with anti-Ramber sentiments (“Survive THAT!” said one team vindictively), the mood suddenly turned somber as the couple boarded at the last second. Well, that was very generous of CBS to hold the plane for them. Honestly, they could have been halfway to Buenos Aires, and I think CBS would have had the plane turn around for its reality darlings. “It’s funny how we always go from fifth to first,” said an aw-shucks Rob. It is funny. Some might say uncanny. Others might even say “planned”.
As for the other three teams, Ray and Deana left the Pitstop first, taking special time to bash the “oldsters.” Honestly, if you’re so concerned about the old people beating you, maybe you shouldn’t have quit during the last Roadblock. Nevertheless, Ray and Deana arrived at the Roadblock and immediately encountered problems with the horses. Actually, it wasn’t so much the horses as it was Deana. She seemed afraid to spur the horse, lest it buck her from its back and trample her to death on national television. While she toiled, Meredith, Gretchen, Susan, and Patrick hit the pavement in search of the ranch. They both encountered a street performer who juggled conveniently amidst the traffic. Gretchen was immediately sympathetic to his plight, noting how he’s probably saving up for college (or, you know, food). “God bless them,” she said in her warbly voice. Susan expressed her sympathy in a much more succinct way: a car honk. I would have preferred her to stick her head out the window and yell “Get outta the way, dipshit!” and then maybe add a “Fuggedaboutit!”
At the Roadblock, Meredith made quick work out of the obstacle course, causing his beloved to come running with open arms and marveling “What a gaucho you are! What a gaucho you are!” Methinks this gaucho’s gonna be getting some pampas lovin’ tonight! Deana meanwhile struggled with her equine counterpart. “Oh Lord please!” she cried as she tried to spur her horse into action. Okay, let’s not be too dramatic here Deana. It’s not like you were just shot in the abdomen.
Finally Ray figured out a way to motivate Deana and the horse. He took off his shirt. Huh? It seemed to work. I suppose the sight of his pasty white skin frightened the beast into action. Actually, in reality, I think Ray and Deana tied their shirts onto her feet and — never mind. I’m bored already.
Elsewhere in the Roadblock, the increasingly obnoxious Patrick snapped at his mom when she tried to help him out. “Hey Mom. Let’s try being quiet,” he seethed with a heaping load of passive aggression. “I want you to stop before we have an embarrassing moment,” he then added. I don’t understand. Do they pee their pants when they argue? Luckily, said embarrassing moment was avoided, although Patrick still managed to sound like an idiot as he hobbled away complaining “My crotch hurts.” If a horse kicked him in the groin and CBS missed it, I will be very VERY upset.
With the final three teams all completing the Roadblock, there was nothing left for them to do but wait at the airport for the 2:30 PM flight. The mood went from mildly competitive to disturbing when Susan and Patrick walked in, causing Gretchen to toot, “We’re still here! The menage-à-trois!” Oh man. That’s the last image I want to have. Gretchen then went on to add, “Yes, we’re a mighty threesome! We’re like a double-ended dildo, except with a third end! Oooooh!”
Meanwhile, in Buenos Aires, the first plane landed and wouldn’t you know it? Rob and Amber were out in front. After receiving the clue from the scary man in the park, teams were then told to find the docks at Le Tigre. No, they weren’t going to a fashion outlet. Le Tigre is actually a town in Argentina. Rob took a page from Charla as he asked for directions in English but with a Spanish accent. Must have done him well because he found the train station pretty quickly. And so did everyone else. On the ride over to the town, Lynn and Alex remarked that Ramber’s like an STD. The best thing they can do is protect themselves. Does this mean that if you have sex, Rob and Amber will appear? Because that would be really uncool.
At Le Tigre, teams encountered the Detour: Shipwreck or Islands. Hey, where’s the nice alliteration/rhyming? Clearly the Amazing Race intern named that Detour. Anyway, in both options, teams had to ride through a delta on an inflatable, motorized raft (I apologize — I do not know the specific name of this maritime vessel). In Shipwreck, teams have to search seven square miles of water and find a specific boat with only a thirty year old photo as a reference. In Islands, teams had to use a map to sail four miles away and locate a specific island. I was quite pleased with these options. Usually the show pits a search with some strenuous activity, and in recent years, the savvy teams have almost always opted for the brawn. But a dual search means we’ll get lots of people choosing different challenges. Me loves that.
Alex, Lynn, Rob, and Amber found the Detour first while Uchenna and Joyce struggled to orient themselves. “Where’re the docks?” asked Joyce. A quick survey of her surroundings showed that they were standing in the middle of a street. I’ll give you a hint, Joyce. The docks are by that big river RIGHT ACROSS THE WAY.
Speaking of the waterway, Rob and Amber’s watercraft quickly sped across the waves, even as the surf became choppy. “Holy Cannoli!” yelled Rob at one point. He then added “Mama Mia! Meetballs and Spaghetti! Pavoratti!” Unsurprisingly, Rob and Amber found their shipwreck almost instantaneously (conspiracy meter’s getting some strong readings…). Meanwhile, Lynn and Alex suffered at the hands of a broken engine. The two lost valuable time as they waited for a replacement boat to fetch them. Hardly a witty barb was had. It was almost as bad as the time Madonna tried to rap on that song. Almost.
Brian and Greg meanwhile found the shipwreck fairly quickly, causing them to exchange the lamest fist bump I’d ever seen. Granted, fist bumps are inherently lame as it is. But these guys bumped fists and then opened their palms and fingers as if some explosion of energy were emanating forth. To accentuate this, they both made a “Sssssszzzz!” sound to suggest that they were sizzzzzlin’! Truthfully, it just looked like they’d taken a page from the Sparky Polastri School For Jazz Hands.
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Meanwhile, as Ramber arrived on the shores of Le Tigre, Rob made the random gesture of giving his beloved Red Sox hat to the local guide on the boat. I suppose it was a nice thing to do, but something tells me he has about twelve more of them, all of which he intends to auction off on eBay. Listen, being a reality whore is a full time job. Later, in the cab ride to the Pitstop, Rob noted “I’m telling you. We just get lucky. It’s like I was born with a horseshoe. Right up my ass!” And that’s horseshoe’s name: CBS.
Unsurprisingly, Rob and Amber reclaimed first place where they viewed a slideshow courtesy of Travelocity. Oh wait, that slideshow wasn’t live? Wow, I’m really gullible. Actually, what really happened was that they won another trip to somewhere, which has us wondering why Lynn and Alex were deprived of a similar prize last week. Anyway, Brian and Greg showed up in second place, followed by Uchenna and Joyce. Ron and Kelly took the fourth spot but seemed saddened by their Bronze-once-removed placing. “They beat us then,” said Ron dejectedly. Hey man, what happened to your “At least I’m not in a prison camp” mentality?
“You expect me, Phil Koegan, to believe that there’s a horse standing directly to the left of me? Please.”
With the first batch of teams checking in, it was time to reacquaint ourselves with the three straggling duos from the second flight. Ray was still on a diatribe against Meredith and Gretchen, this time saying “They’re a couple decades beyond where they need to be.” Um, Ray, you do realize that you’ll be old someday, right? And you’re going to probably hate the assholes who say the same thing about you.
Anyway, those old fogies who are a few decades beyond where they need to be managed to keep up just fine with Ray and Deana (who are a few decades behind where they need to be, at least intellectually). The two teams boarded the train to Le Tigre, leaving Susan and Patrick in the dust. Luckily, the mother and son were happily delusional about their place as they boarded another train three minutes later. They simply assumed they were in the lead since no one else had hopped on their train. Team Devious strikes again!
Meredith and Gretchen found the Detour first while gorilla and giraffe (aka Ray and Deana) wandered around Le Tigre. The old couple opted to find the island first, but curiously opted to ignore their map in favor of a simple trial and error strategy. This gave Donkey Kong enough time to find the Detour (after Susan and Patrick, mind you) and catch up. In fact, Ray and Deana found the next clue first, and when they passed Gretchen and Meredith moments later (and just around the corner from the clue), they played dumb, causing the old folks to follow them almost entirely back to the shore. Luckily for Meredith and Gretchen, the Mother/Son duo had the misfortune of climbing into a malfunctioning raft, causing a severe setback that they ultimately were unable to recover from.
The grandparents found their clue and as they stepped onto shore, Gretchen even got some action from the boat operator. Well, I mean, we all have to admit. She is quite sexy. Patrick meanwhile began pouting on the open seas, and it occurred to me that if this is the episode where he goes, I will be perfectly happy (although I’d rather have Ray and Deana go bye bye). Coming down to the final wire, the producers edited the material to make Susan and Patrick appear to be way closer than they most likely were. It was no surprise, therefore, that when Phil did his little “Thar she blows!” pointing, Meredith and Gretchen showed up at the Pitstop first. As Phil chatted them up, Meredith commented “The most amazing thing is that we’re still upright!” Gretchen then pinched his butt and said “Not for long, gaucho!”
Anyway, Susan and Patrick arrived last and were sadly eliminated, thus officially ending the reign of the Bianca, Debbie, Susan, Patrick era. It seemed like such a good alliance, and yet both teams went down in consecutive weeks. Luckily, Lynn and Alex have picked up the anti-Rob cause. Anyway, Phil asked Patrick why he thinks his mom seems so emotional, and the bitchy son replied “Maybe she should answer that.” Douchebag, the point of the question was for you to put yourself in your mom’s shoes — maybe learn something from her. Susan simply replied that she was an optimist and her son was a pessimist. Oooh. Nice maternal PA! Patrick rebuffed her by saying that he’s not so much a pessimist as he is a “realist.” Ah, fighting fire with fire! In the end, it was obvious that Patrick was neither a pessimist nor a realist. Just simply an asshole.
What do you think? Was CBS helping out its reality all-star team?
TV Social
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59 Comments
Good ridance Patrick! Everyone is saying Lynne and Alex have set gays back, I think Patrick acting like a little bitch is way worse. Rob and Amber are kicking the fuck out of TAR and it’s awesome, BEST SEASON EVER!
The way Patrick was acting during the horse riding was like a preview for the family season. It was like he was a little 12 year old boy.
When Phil was walking and talking, I think it was when he was near the docks, in that moss green shirt he loves so much, he has a case of man-boobs going on.
I am loving this season. Conspiracy aside, Ramber rules. There is no way CBS could have predicted the huge popularity of Rob and Amber so there was no reason to help them along in the race. (I mean last season with Alison and Donny is a perfect example)
I cannot wait until next week! I can’t believe the blood and gore we will get to experience. Did anyone else notice in the previews of the accident there are four people, one laying down and the other 3 upright outside of the seriously flipped over jeep. Do you think someone is seriously injured? I mean really how could they not be? But do they travel with 4 people, I thought it was just one camera man.
I think after the Uchenna/Joyce trip to the orphanage, there will be new front runners.
I love it.
Did Phil Koegan use to be overweight?
I had flashbacks to Colin and Christy with Ray and Deana. I thought I heard her say… “my horse is broken”
You forgot to include the best Patrick quote of the episode……”If there was ever a time you wanted permission to run over a clown”….seriously, when else in life has he asked to run down a clown?
CBS created the hype of Rob and Amber. With Donny and Alison, they were not all that popular with the American viewing public before the race. CBS knew that Rob and Amber would be great for TAR when Rob proposed to Amber on live tv. There have been may ways that CBS has helped them along, not giving them first on a silver platter, that has been all their doing, but preventing them from coming in last.
I agree with B-side. I find it HIGHLY suspicious that they happened to make the 1st plane, they didn’t show his time for the gaucho challenge, and found the shipwreck oh so easily. Hmph. In the meantime, next week’s episode is looking GOOD! Romber are kicking ass, but I really truly still want them to go away. They really bug me. My fiance started saying “Holy Cannoli” last night in homage to Rob (he thinks Rob is funny) and I had to make some serious bribes to get him to stop. Gah.
This season is going a little bit like it did last season. The first team eliminated was 2 men, the next 2 teams were 2 women and the 4th team was a man & woman. Kind of funny, well, now that I think of it, maybe not.
But I did think one of the funny moments of the episode was that right after the first 4 teams got on the plane and talked about how they all ate the meat, in came Rob & Amber and Rob asked Ron how his stomach was feeling. I’m thinking Ron had a tummy ache once he got to last week’s pit stop and Rob was making fun of him. Too bad we don’t get to see more of what happens at the pit stops.
And after watching the previews for next week, I feel really sorry for the camera men. That job must suck. They have to follow the contestants everywhere but they need to lug a camera with them. Not to mention they have no say in anything. Bummer.
When Patrick got off the horse – he actually said “My Ca-roch hurts!” Struck me as odd.
That boy was so annoying – so so glad he’s gone.
Deanna and Ray next please.
Did anyone else think that the creepy guy in the black coat looked like Kevin Federline?
b-side,
will you marry me?
I’m not saying that CBS isn’t helping Rob and Amber to increase ratings ( this is TV afterall ) but I don’t remember anybody saying anything about conspiracies last year when Kris and John were in first place or close to first every week. Watching Rob and Amber have fun and watching the others resent them is good TV, no matter how it happens.
You cannot make this stuff up if you tried. This is THE best season of TAR. I was very resentful for CBS putting Ramber back on TV before this season began. Now I actually want them in the top three. Who care if CBS is helping them? I LOVE it!
From the previews, it looks like Gretchen is completely oblivious to her massive, bleeding head wound. She’s just looking at the camera as if to say, “Blood? What blood?” And someone is definately laying on the ground next to the overturned Jeep. The poor cameraman(woman)! Just sittin’ in the front seat…..minding my business…..oh, oh…..what’s that? I’m turning…turning…turning!
Can’t wait ’til next Tuesday.
First time commenting, long time reader.
Does anyone else think Ron and Kelly don’t know each other. LIke a casting agent said lets get a POW and beauty queen and put them together? They have zero chemistry!
I am so sick of Lynn and Alex’s vendetta against Rob and Amber. Other than being good, what have Rob and Amber done to deserve repeated, vehement pronouncements of “I hate them” and “I detest them”? It’s ridiculous. The only entertaining thing about it is that Rob and Amber know it and play with it instead of getting mad or hurt back. If Lynn and Alex spend the entire race whining about Rob and Amber every 15 seconds as they have every week so far, they could be toast.
I have never been one to join in on conspiracy therories but, this weeks episode really smelled fishy. I can’t believe CBS would be stupid enough to actually do something like that but really it was fishy. Not only didn’t they not show Rambers time at the Gaucho challenge. They didn’t even really show the challenge. They just showed Rob on a horse with a score of “perfect”. Then to top it off they made the 9:30 plane when they left hours after the first team. Somethings not right with that.
Okay for all of you who don’t understand why there are some of us who don’t like Ramber. It’s like this. It’s plain not fair to be taking the space of someone who actually made the effort to audition for the show. If CBS wanted a reality celebrity edition of the show than they should have had one. Ramber are the new Trista/Ryan. Just go away please. If I wanted to see the same people each season on television I’d watch sitcoms.
Keep up the good work B-Side. I love the re-caps.
I am still so ripped that Lynn/Alex get NADA for their win last week. And where are all the nonelimination rounds? Obviously there will be one next week after the first hour.
B-side: I feel your conspiracy theory, something is fishy.
And Ron and Kelly do lack any chemistry, I have yet to even see them talk to each other.
Speaking of NO personality; bring on the elimination of Deana/Ray.
Oh yeah, excellent Sparky reference, nothing like some “spirit fingers” to get the boys some action I guess.
Yes, rob and amber’s waiting plane raised a “hmmm…,” but a lot of their supposed assistance really just comes in the way they are editted. For all we know, they may have taken twice as long as the Brohans to find the boat, but when you show five seconds, it looks like five seconds.
Rob’s playing more ruthlessly than any of the other contestants so far — bribing, lying, etc., so I don’t think it’s fair to pin their success on network providence.
You didn’t mention the best scene: They showed Joyce getting back on the horse as one of the other teams was opening its envelope. The sound effect of the ripping envelope was heard over the video of Joyce swinging her leg over the horse. It sounded like she had ripped her pants. It was the most TiVo’d moment in our house.
I’ve been watching this show since the 2nd season, and I’ve suspected intervention on CBS’ part many times in all the past seasons. Rob and Amber wouldn’t be the first team to “miraculously” board a plane at the last minute. If CBS is helping them out, it’s because they make good TV. So while the conspiracy theories might be accurate, I don’t think any of it originated with Rob and Amber. Pretty sure CBS would help out any team that makes good TV. All in the name of ratings.
Don’t like it? Consider a final three of Ray/Deana, F-POW/Beauty Queen and the ultimately disappointing Lynn/Alex duo. Talk about a snoozefest.
All I can say to Lynn and Alex — karma. What goes around comes around and if you keep thinking bad thoughts about Rob and Amber, you’ll get yours in the end. Get over it already!
And I disagree with you Betsy, Rob and Amber made an effort by going to CBS and ‘begging’ them to let them be on the show. If you should be mad at anyone, be mad at CBS for letting them be on the show. It’s been said time and time again, CBS didn’t go after them, Rob and Amber went after CBS. Just my two cents……….
“What do you think? Was CBS helping out its reality all-star team?”
Well, sure. Because CBS wouldn’t care that it’s violating U.S. law or anything by doing that. Snort.
Speaking od conspiracies, how much did u get when I signed onto Friendster??
The sinister man reminded me the black spy in “Spy vs Spy” ( Mad Magazine )
The boats are called Zodiack.
Is Ray really Bolo??
I thought Patrick said — ” My CARROT hurts”
Wouldnt it be great if Rob had a massive, nasty argument with Lynn(e)?
Conspiracy at CBS? No way. That is why they put Dan Rather in charge of coincidences….
Betsy – sorry, you are wrong.
Maybe Romber will be on Big Brother this summer.
It’s so hard for me to focus on Tuesdays episode when I am so excited for next week’s! Why was Gretchen smiling like a deranged person when she was clearly covered in blood? I can’t wait to see how she hurt herself.
And the brothers flipping their little SUV could be the highlight… I bet it is the cameraman that ends up hurt. Something tells me that those two will bounce back quickly from the accident. Is it too much to hope that they will “get a jog on” and try to get help?
I love the picture of Phil. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I just can’t get enough of Phil. It must be the way he is always walking towards the camera…or his awkward reactions to the teams checking in.
And to whoever said Phil was probably fat before- bite your tongue! Everyone knows that Phil stays in shape by abstaining from alcohol during the Race and by jogging with his ever-present Ipod. Crazy Phil will sometimes even do pull ups in trains. Obviously he cares about his appearance, as he should- those turtlenecks reveal so much!
When did the trenchcoat mafia become so popular in Buenos Aires?
Good riddance to Patrick. I kept waiting for his mother to say, “Yeah, I’m an optimist, because I have to be to pay all your bills. If you’re such a realist, then fucking move out of your mother’s house, loser.”.
Where were all the conspiracy theories when Rob decimated the competition in Survivor: All Stars? He’s just smart, despite his new england accent. I find it much more feasible that he’s just devious and quick, than CBS bending rules for them. No one said the plane left on time – it might have been a little late boarding. Plenty of time for rob and amber to get there. The guy let them on because he knew the next flight was five hours away. I once got to King’s Cross station in London an hour before a flight at Heathrow, got to the front desk at Heathrow with about 3 minutes to takeoff, and still got on the plane. These things happen all the time.
Also, next week is a 2 hour because it will be non-elimination, and they don’t want people pissed like last season, when we had a to be continued, only to have the following week be nonelimination.
Go Rob and Amber! I wasn’t going to watch after last season, but I am hooked once more!
NOTE TO PHIL, a.k.a Free Ballin’ Phil:
Please dude, get some looser pants or something. Everytime you get on camera, my eyes always gravitate towards your crotch just to see which side of your pant seam your balls are hanging….always tends to be on the left for some reason. Where’s the blurry FCC censor when you need it!
It’s wrong Phil, just wrong!~
NOTE TO PHIL, a.k.a Free Ballin’ Phil:
Please dude, get some looser pants or something. Everytime you get on camera, my eyes always gravitate towards your crotch just to see which side of your pant seam your balls are hanging….always tends to be on the left for some reason. Where’s the blurry censor when you need it!
It’s wrong Phil, just wrong!~
Betsy, you’re wrong. Anyone should be able to perform on TAR. As long as CBS has a slot open they should go for it.
And Betsy…you are sooo fucking hot. Go to the bathroom and call me and leave a message. You are sooo fucking hot. Wink at me or say “yes” if you want it. you are sooo fucking hot.
Enough with the conspiracy theories already. Its such a ridiculous idea. Why on earth would CBS risk such a thing? To slightly increase their ratings? So you people actually believe that CBS executives would risk losing this entire franchise, risk being sued by all the other contestants if they were to find out, maybe even risk criminal prosecution (this is considered a Game Show) just for the possibility of slightly boosting some ratings? Come on, folks!
Personally, I don’t believe in conspiracy theories. But I enjoy talking about them in a tongue and cheek way, if only to get everyone else in a tizzy. mwahahaha.
Yeah Robert, the thought of a major network doing anything unseemly to boost ratings and, therefore, increase advertising dollars is completely unfathomable. The CBS executives are, I’m sure, the picture of morality and ethics.
Sarcasm aside, I don’t think anyone’s claiming there’s a conspiracy theory of any “Quiz Show” magnitude going on here. But there’s got to be a lot of gray ground out there when you’re dealing with a game show where the outcome isn’t based on a “right” or “wrong” answer.
And let’s not forget that CBS was already sued by a contestant — Stacey Stillman, from season one of Survivor — alleging Mark Burnett orchestrated the Tribal Council results to get her voted off. She was slapped back with a $5 million countersuit and, by the way, at least one other “Survivor” said he was encouraged to vote for Stacey instead of another player. Now, I’m not saying Stacey Stillman wasn’t just a whiny bitter reality TV whore. What I’m saying is there’s precedent here.
Anyway, I’ve babbled on long enough. God damn you, B-Side — you must just love this shit. Now back to the real world (meaning my life, not the increasingly and alarmingly bad MTV-produced show).
I’m intrigued by Joyce & Uchenna’s detour-detour, where they chose A but stumbled on the clue box for B. Is there any precendent for that?
It’s very clear that once a team picks who’s doing a Roadblock, they’re stuck with that choice; and when Joyce asked if she could switch horses during her roadblock, she was told “No”. Are they allowed to dump one detour and go to the other one?
TexasK– what are you talking about? “Morality and Ethics”? Who mentioned anything about morality and ethics? I’m talking dollars. Maybe you know nothing about risk management, but a network the size of CBS would weigh the possible monetary benefit of rigging this game (slightly higher ratings) against the huge costs of getting caught pulling off such a scam (losing millions and millions of dollars through the death of this huge franchise for CBS). It’s just not worth it money wise. Who cares about ethics these days?
I never said they’d “rig the game.” In a show like Amazing Race, as I mentioned before, there’s a lot of wiggle room for manipulation where fingers wouldn’t necessarily be pointed in CBS’ direction. It’s not like they’re asking the contestants: “Who knows more about risk management, Robert or TexasK?” where there’s a clear and obvious answer. (Robert WINS!!! dingdingding) So, in a sense Robert, we agree. I don’t think CBS would do anything outright that would plant their asses in a costly lawsuit, but I do think they could apply the right kind of pressure in the right kind of places that would ultimately influence the show’s outcome.
Like I wrote before: CBS has been accused of “orchestrating” (notice I didn’t use the term “rigging”) the results of a similar show before, where at least one contestant — and, might I add, the Bible-toting one from Wisconsin — said in sworn testimony that Mark Burnett leaned heavily on him to vote one Survivor off over another. But I don’t think CBS ever lost one penny in that lawsuit, so why wouldn’t they apply the same effective and ratings-boosting strategy to another popular show?
They would, and to think otherwise is naive on your part.
I guess then I wasn’t really directing my comments toward you, TexasK, but to all the others who keep going on and on about this idea of CBS holding that flight for Rob and Amber. Its just gets me that people don’t think this stuff through. Something as big as delaying a commercial airline would involve so much more than just paying off a gate agent. The flight crew would have to be informed of the cause of the delay, the ground agents, the control tower… on and on. Argentina is not a third world country. Top executives of the airline would need to be paid off, all in a last minute effort to get Rob and Amber on the plane? Just think of how much it would cost to pay a commercial airline to secretly delay a flight for a US TV show. And anyone who’s dealt with production budgets (I live and work in L.A.) know how tight these budgets are. Where on any TV budget would be “Pay off Argentinian Commercial Airline”?
Kate – I had the same thought when I noticed a U/J and G/M going for one detour and then stumbling onto another. However, if you noticed in other episodes and seasons, sometimes a team finds one task too hard and then after going at it for awhile, they will go for the other option. I guess the same thing applies here.
Like I said before, Gretchen just seems a bit too oblivious to her “massive head-wound Harry” incident.
Catie – How do you know that the car accident involves the brothers? I couldn’t make out which team it might have been from the previews.
It has to the be the brothers! They showed them driving along then cut to the car flipping over and then showed someone laying on the ground and two people standing over them. It doesn’t look like Lynn & Alex, so it must be the brothers.
re: “I’m intrigued by Joyce & Uchenna’s detour-detour, where they chose A but stumbled on the clue box for B. Is there any precendent for that?”
Chip and Reichen got lost, and stumbled on a route marker for the Fast Forward before anyone else got there.
conspiracy? perhaps. but consider: there are 3 non-elimination rounds, and, with the exception of 1 generally saved for the penultimate or finale episode, they usually pop up pretty randomly–and conveniently. it seems inarguable that the whole purpose of the non-elimination rounds is to keep a popular or notorious team in the race to keep the ratings up. remember, in AR 5, colin and christie came in last once and were spared. Could anyone imagine that finale being as satisfying without them? Most of us were rooting for Chip and Kim to win, but Colin’s bug-eyed determination gave the season suspense it would otherwise have lacked. part of the thrill was watching a team that had struggled early on take the lead over the team that had dominated the race up to the last two or three legs.
So, yes–CBS rigs the game to help key teams avoid elimination–and often, those teams are the ones we love to hate, since it’s more fun to watch a nice guy win when he’s giving a jerk his deserved comeuppance. but i think rob and amber’s success up to this point has more to do with their experience with reality game show challenges and with the fact that a lot of folks in south america recognize them from survivor and so immediately understand that, if they help rob and amber, they’re going to get on international TV.
i know it seems ridiculous how ‘lucky’ they are, but at this point, even if they’d missed the first plane, i doubt ramber would have come in last, and even if they did, phil would have dropped the first non-elimination round on them. they may be getting some breaks, but does anybody think given the way they’ve been performing that rob and amber needed a break to beat susan and patrick this week? and yeah, they’re hateworthy, but doesn’t it make the show more fun to watch?
it’s also worth noting that the other teams’ hatred of rob and amber creates the kind of conflict that generates strong viewership, so lynn and alex et. al. are unwittingly encouraging the favoritism by turning Ramber into the Duke Blue Devils of the Amazing Race.
I love how the above post from Jack says “So, yes–CBS rigs the game to help key teams avoid elimination” like its a given based on his feable evaluation. Can you imagine a guy like Jack on a jury? Scary. If CBS were really choosing when to non-eliminate based on how they think ratings would be boosted, don’t you think someone in the film crew would eventually leak this information out? That is why these conspiracy theories never hold true… people talk. It would be impossible for CBS to keep an entire film and editing crew from leaking this type of scam from the public and media. And for those who think they would be unable to talk due to “confidentiality agreements”, keep in mind that these agreements only cover legal acts…. rigging a game show is NOT a legal act.
“This is the first of three predetermined non-elimination legs of the race.”
Jack, how many times have you heard Phil say that? He simply can’t say that if it’s not true. It would be illegal and would ruin one of CBS’ biggest and best shows. You’re being ridiculous.
Team Survivah ask questions of locals. Others teams don’t. It’s not rocket science. Did CBS help Rob stack all the books a few ep’s ago? Dumbass.
“it seems inarguable that the whole purpose of the non-elimination rounds is to keep a popular or notorious team in the race to keep the ratings up.”
Don & Mary Jean came in last during a non-elimination round last season. I didn’t find them popular or notorious. In fact, I really wanted them eliminated. They clearly had no chance at winning so I wanted them gone the first episode. The bowling moms came in last during a non-elimination round too and I don’t know about you but I wasn’t watching the show for them.
Can’t people just live with the fact that Rob & Amber are doing good without CBS’s help? The reason Alison & Donny did so bad was because they didn’t even get along. Romber are smart, athletic, and they don’t fight. Why would they need CBS to break the law for them? They are capable of staying in the game on their own.
I loved Don & MJ! And I love them even more now that we’re stuck with Gretchen’s horrifying sexual innuendos!
“Are they allowed to dump one detour and go to the other one?”
Sure. Remember last season when Team Jesus went to one detour, discovered they were going to have to have their heads shaved, and changed their minds?
That head shaving thing was a Fast Forward. Not technically a detour.
But switching Detours is done all the time. Remember when the chicks gave up on the llamas and then did the basket carrying instead? But I have never seen anyone switch the detour task because they stumbled onto the other one like that before…
Pat O’Brien: Thanks for making me laugh tonight! That was hysterical!
If miracles happen, the Cannoli jerk and his other, would wind up last…but wait..so far no one got a reprieve being last…what would you like to bet if those 2 ahould wind up last, that they will get that reprieve…than I would have to say CBS is behind this.
TAR is a reality show. Yes it is a race around the world, but it is far from a game show (atlease my idea of what a game show is). All of the buzz around Romber and CBS (look how many posts are just on this site alone) is getting more people to watch. Baseball players take steroids to get ahead in the game, yet tons of people still watch baseball and go to the games. What would stop a station from ‘helping’ a team to get a better show? I am not saying cbs is or isn’t helping Rob and Amber. Yes, they are on tv yet again, but did this many people have a fit when Survivor All-Stars was on? There were previous winners on that show, back again.
Moonman, TAR is considered a “reality competition” show, which falls under the same legal guidelines as a TV game show. In other words, if CBS were to get caught scamming the public, heads would roll. Plus, the only comparison you could make to the baseball/steriod scandal is if we were to discover that the Fox Sports Network was directing injecting steriods into some of its players to boost ratings. Once that happens, then you can make your silly comparison.
Having worked in accounting on over 30 feature films (6 of which were Oscar nominated) and 2 TV shows, I can attest to the fact that there IS a budget category for bribes / greasing palms / nuisance payoffs. It is called Gratuities and is generally located in the Locations part of the budget along with security, fire safety officers, caterers, location site rentals, trash removals and port-a-potties. It is vaguely worded on purpose so that it can cover a multitude of sins.
Location Managers are always paying off people who start their leafblowers or turn up stereos everytime “Action” is called. Why? Because they are upset that they aren’t being paid money like their neighbors whose homes are being rented. If you shoot in certain gang areas downtown, you have to make payoffs so nothing gets stolen and the scenes get shot (no pun intended). One one film we shot on tribal lands and paid a location fee to the tribe. But we we also had to make a side deal to pay the Chief’s nephew, which we did and put under the “Technical Consultant” category. And everytime a film shoots outside the U.S., pads are built into Gratuities.
Did something happen on TAR? I don’t know. I just know that there are ways to make it happen.
Go Ramber!
Pixchik
This is a reality show, not a feature film.
people. just watch the show and enjoy it. conspiracies or not, its good tv. the argument wont end because everyone will be holding on their own POV. so no point arguing. and as much as i dun like romber in the show (initially) they’re really fun to watch, as they added much needed drama to the show.
we should instead bicker on teams we dun like and how “lucky” some people are… I would fume if Romber win another 1 million. hmm. but i’m rooting for da bitches; lynn and alex. Loveee their ongoing battle with romber. My ideal final 3? Romber, Lynn Alex, Uchenna Joyce (Reminds me so very much of lovely chip and kim).
There was a great bit about TAR on VH1′s Best Week Ever this weekend. It said that even though everyone is talking about Romber and how people might hate them, everyone is still watching the show. So true.
Recently ousted Patrick and Susan have an interview on tvguide.com this week, and Patrick spends most of it grousing about…you guessed it, Rob and Amber. The teams that will come out of this season the most popular are probably going to be the teams like Uchenna and Joyce that are just playing the game and not obsessing and getting super-bitter and whiny over another team.
pixchick is right – i work in television and bribing definitely happens. what helps us make tv in foreign countries is the foreign corrupt practices act (FCPA). technically speaking, you’re allowed to pay “grease payments, gifts or tips to expedite or secure the performance of a routine gov’t action.” in other words, if its something that the govt is required to do and isn’t illegal, you can pay them to make them make it happen more quickly (paying customs to get your camera gear out of the airport, for example).
i could be wrong but does it seem like TAR is relying more on charter flights or specific flights that the teams must get on as opposed to in previous seasons where they’d just get to the airport and take whatever flight they could get?
maybe CBS wants more control over the contestants or maybe they’re having trouble with the airlines and shooting on the planes. i have no idea but it seems like an interesting point to ponder. maybe rob and amber “made” that flight because it was a charter and could wait for them to arrive?
First off I do believe there is a “conspiracy theory” with Ramber!!! (hehehe I like that)!! And some people have said that there might be conspiracy going on but it is for the ratings – WELL HELLO why would didn’t they intervene with Brian and Greg this week when they were eliminated!! Personally I like the a HELL of alot more than I do Ramber (of course) but also Meredith and Gretchen! I mean if they were after ratings getting rid of Brian and Greg wasn’t a smart thing to do!!! (But that is just my opinion of things.