No Luck In Lucknow

Amazing Race

By B-Side | Wednesday, April 13, 2005 | 3:58 am | 48 Comments

ambah_agonyThis was a nice little Amazing Race episode. Yeah, it may not have been as intense as the past three legs, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I don’t really want to say much more, lest I ruin it for some poor reader who hasn’t caught up with his or her Tivo watching, but I will say that the ending left me, well, unsettled. I found myself without direction — wandering down dark alleys, looking for answers. Needless to say, I’ve now picked up a nasty heroin habit, and there’s a woman named Francine who claims to be my baby’s momma. We’re getting married next month in Reno, and yes, we’re registered at K-Mart.Okay, apologies. That intro really made no sense at all. Come on, I had to write something. Anyway, last night’s episode kicked off with Rob and Amber ripping open their clue with great optimism. Fly to Lucknow, India said the clue. Once there, teams would have to find a large temple/religious building and locate a clue hidden inside. Great! Let’s go!

Well, the travel plans were a bit tricky this time around. The producers had arranged transport from Botswana to Mumbai (Bombay), but from there, it was up to the teams to figure out how to get to Lucknow. Oh, and everyone also had to sign up for a charter flight from the Pitstop to Francistown, Botswana. Okay, so lots of flying. Just give me the nifty map, and I’ll be fine.

Ramber signed up for the first charter plane and were followed by Ron and Kelly who after their meltdown last week, were trying to keep it together. Uchenna and Joyce were third and immediately we had our first “Awwww…” moment of the night as she said “Walkin’ in the rain with the one I love.” Okay, say it all together: awwwww…. Uchenna commented that it was quite a nice thing for Joyce to say, and well, I have to agree with him. That WAS very nice. Joyce, you get a gold star for today!

Also having fun were the dependably sharp Lynn and Alex who noted that despite the cliché, the adversity of the race had really brought them closer together. Lynn then slipped into his supermodel mode and boasted “We are so amazing.” He then brushed back his long blonde hair and prepared for compliments. Believe it or not, I didn’t make any of this up. This is why you’ve gotta love these guys. They provide the snark for us. Although, it is hard to be funny about jokesters. I feel like I’m just standing here pointing at them, meekly saying “Yeah, what he said.”

Fifth out of the gate were Meredith and Gretchen, the latter of which let out a strange “oooh” noise upon receiving the India assignment. Granted, our gal Gretch is always good for some chirps, buzzers, and toots, but this was really strange. The two explained to us that they had no real allies in the Race and the best thing they could do would be to take them out one by one. But safety first. “We don’t want to break a hip,” noted Meredith. Gretchen then pointed to her forehead and seethed, “You see this? It’s bloooood, you sissy boy. Now hurry up!”

Anyway, all the teams boarded the same charter plane (Why even have the option for other flights?) and flew to Francistown where they awaited their connection to Mumbai. With some downtime on their hands, the teams all scurried to book flights from Mumbai to Lucknow. Alex snatched a local’s cellphone to call a travel agent while Rob talked to an airline employee. There was lots of babbling about connections and cities and dammit, I was confused. Where’s that neat map they always give us? I’m starting to get lost here.

Nevertheless, Rob and Amber booked ticket for themselves and Ron and Kelly while Alex got flights for everyone else. Amidst all the chaos, I couldn’t tell who had the better deal, but either way, Rob told the ticketing agent not to allow the other teams to book flights with her. Of course, any smart team should know by now that they should always keep an eye on Rob in case he pulls these shenanigans. Then again, maybe it was all in vain. Maybe Rob’s flight would actually be behind the others. JUST SHOW US THE DAMN MAP!

Well, we couldn’t check out the map just yet because we had some interpersonal business to attend to. Ron and Kelly, although temporarily allied with Ramber, were starting to feel the social stigma of constantly working with the Survivors. Besides, on a personal level, they simply didn’t like Rob and Amber, calling them two of the most manipulative people they’d ever met. “Gotta cut it off and quit talking to them,” suggested Ron. Amusingly enough, Rob seemed oblivious to this seething disapproval. “Our relationship with Ron and Kelly is definitely one of mutual respect and friendship towards each other,” he explained. I guess it’s this sort of self-delusion that’s lead Ramber to believe America wants to see their televised wedding as well.

Finally it was off to Mumbai, and while Ron, Kelly, Rob, and Amber seemed to board their connection almost instantly, the other teams had some time to kill in the airport. Gretchen decided to take a supermarket sweep and shop for some cheap backpacks. She quickly learned that there were no senior discounts in India, but our intrepid consumer still found a backpack that worked just fine. Personally, I was hoping she’d throw down some cold hard cash for a SpongeBob knapsack, but I guess that would be asking too much. “Boy, don’t you look snazzy!” complimented Meredith upon seeing his wife modeling her new accessory. “If you’re a good boy, Meredith, later tonight I’ll wear this backpack and nothing else,” cooed Gretchen in return. Okay, sorry, that was just gross. I apologize.

mapAnyway, at long last I finally got my map as we saw the two flights leave from Mubai to New Delhi to Lucknow. Thank goodness. I was going a bit crazy there without that map. In my disorientation, I even made a semi-kinky Gretchen reference just now. Don’t worry though. I think I have my wits about me. After all that talk about flights and connections, it turned out that Rob’s plane arrived first, but only by eight minutes. The two lead teams quickly jumped into pre-paid taxis and drove to the religious palace, Bara Imambara, where, as Phil reminded us, their next clue was hidden. Driving through the streets, Ron noted “The only thing I can equate this to–” Okay. Here it comes. Say it Ron. Just say it. “– is this is kind of like when everyone was trying to get the heck out of Baghdad because it was being bombed.” OH REALLY? I didn’t think you’d bring that up AGAIN. Tell me, is that the only thing you can equate this to? And just how is this reminiscent of a city being bombed? I don’t see anyone fleeing for their lives. I don’t see, you know, BOMBS. I wonder, is this his knee-jerk reaction everytime he sees traffic? Crowded streets, sweltering heat, cars at a standstill – MY GOD! IT’S IRAQ INCARNATE!

Well, while Ron continued to ride along in his cab (which, being a vehicle and such, reminded him of the cars in Iraq), the other teams landed and headed to the taxi stand. They soon learned that two other teams had just been there, much to Gretchen’s dismay. Chaos soon reared its ugly again as Lynn, Alex, Meredith, and Gretchen attempted to pre-pay for their cabs. There was lots of yelling, quick editing, and general confusion. Silly foreign taxi services. Will they ever learn???

We cut to commercial, and when we returned, the taxi mess sorted itself out quickly as the teams all jumped in their cabs and headed to the next clue, which, as Phil mentioned again, was located in Bara Imambara. YES PHIL, WE KNOW! Rob and Amber were first to arrive, and after their donned head coverings, they marveled at the sight of the building. Rob even promised to build a palace for Amber that was twice as nice. Huh. That was actually a very sweet thing to say. Must have been hanging around Joyce a little bit too long. By the way, if several hundred years from now there is a giant palace that’s dedicated to Amber from Survivor, it’s safe to say the human race is doomed.

Anyway, after finding the clue in Bara Imambara, teams had to take a horse-drawn tonga (man, I love Amazing Race transportation) to a steel emporium where a Yield awaited. Everyone assumed Rob and Amber would be using the Yield on Lynn and Alex, but no, they opted not to. And for the record, Ron and Kelly actually arrived at the Yield first and unwisely chose not to use it on Ramber. Seriously, even Rob admitted he would have used it had he been in their situation. Oh well. It probably wouldn’t have amounted to anything anyway. We all remember last season when the Yield was placed on a nonelimination leg (kind of like the Fast Forward on the nonelimination leg this season. Memo to producer: these devices are supposed to AFFECT the game).

After passing up the Yield, teams then encountered the Roadblock which tantalizingly asked “Who has the most patience?” Well, Ron had an idea: “That has to be you,” he said, nodding to Kelly. “I mean, it’s not you really, but it has to be you for this.” Shut up dickwad. If anyone has patience, it’s her. She’s the one who has to deal with all your constant yammering about how the traffic and the lightning and the wind and the sunlight and the hills and the birds and the flowers all remind you of I-freakin-raq.

And so Kelly and Amber jumped into the Roadblock which had them searching through six hundred steel boxes for one of ten clues. YES. My second favorite type of Roadblock (after the food competitions, natch). The two gals carefully peeped into dozens of boxes, and as the task became increasingly difficult, Kelly came up with a plan. Whoever finds a clue will holler out. Huh? Why? It’s not like there will be two in one box. Maybe Kelly thought that if Amber found a clue, she’d wait around until Kelly found one also. Either way, this strategy’s limitations were quickly made apparent as Amber came across her clue first (of course) and quickly alerted Kelly, resulting in… nothing.

Well, Rob and Amber were told to take a rickshaw to a small service station under a bridge. Ah yes. The rickshaw. It’s like an old friend coming to dinner. Ramber headed off on their odyssey, and not too long after, Ron and Kelly hit the road as well. The rest of the teams eventually made their way to the Roadblock (none used the Yield) and seemed to find their clues relatively easily. Alex even did a little dance. Once again, Meredith and Gretchen fell behind the pack (seriously, every SINGLE time!) and arrived at the steel emporium last. Good ole’ Gretch tackled the challenge, but she was soon overwhelmed by all the giant boxes stacked over her head. Would she ever find the clue? Or would this be a repeat of poor Lena’s hay bale horror from last season?

Sadly, it looked like it might be the latter, especially since Gretchen didn’t seem to have any discernible strategy for searching the boxes. Then again, you can never know anything with all that tricky editing the producers use. After some time, Gretchen finally found her clue. Ah, but when one door opens, another closes. Where to find a rickshaw? “Can you find us a rickshaw?” she asked a local man. Hate to break it to you, Gretch, but they’re EVERYWHERE! Seriously, just jump in the air, and I guarantee you’ll land in one.

Meanwhile, at the front of the pack, Rob and Amber arrived at the service station where they received the Detour: Solid or Liquid. In Solid, teams had to go to a nearby location and chisel away enough charcoal to fill three 170 lbs. bags which they’d have to transport a short distance via a tricycle (don’t worry, it was a cool tricycle with a flatbed and everything). In Liquid, teams would have to travel three miles away to a tea shop, load up a wagon, head to an office building, and deliver five cups of tea (one at a time) to people off a list who in return would hand over their business cards. As Phil was happy to point out, Solid was closer but tougher whereas Tea was farther but potentially time consuming. Man, he LOVES tradeoffs! Actually, the best part of all this was how Phil addressed the camera with a crowd of local men standing resolutely behind him. I wasn’t sure, but I had a feeling they were about to reenact a scene from Westside Story, or at least an old Pat Benetar video.

Phil_buddies
When you’re a Phil, if the spit hits the fan, you got brothers around, you’re a family man!

We’ll just settle this now. Everyone opted for the tea challenge. Rob and Amber jumped onto a rickshaw while Ron and Kelly waited behind. You see, Ron wanted a rickshaw too, but Kelly was pro-taxi. Eventually though, Ron insisted that they take a rickshaw, causing his girlfriend to state, “I disagree with that, but I’ll go and do it… But I’ll make it known I don’t agree.” THANKS. I was afraid you wouldn’t make it known. Luckily it’s on the record now; so if she ever decides to run for office and an anti-rickshaw smear campaign surfaces, we’ll know exactly where she stands on the issue. Actually, as we all know, her little comment was merely “I told you so” insurance for later. It’s always nice to see people planning their passive aggression ahead of time. I hate sloppy, impromptu PA.

Anyway, there’s really not much to say about the Detour. While it was entertaining, it was basically ten minutes of watching all these people running around, trying to find their tea targets. There were some minor incidents such as when one man claimed to be someone else and Rob almost got fooled. “Don’t try to pull a fast one like that again!” he scolded. Yes, stop not-understanding Rob in his language that is not native to you! How dare you be confused by his foreign tongue! Actually, the moment was rather benign, even though CBS had hyped it all week to make the incident seem like Rob was headed for the slammer. Honestly, I love the Amazing Race, but we should all know by now that almost anything they promote is sure to be a big nothing.

Amber_coat
Hey Ambah, it’s like 90 degrees. Take off your coat!

As for Meredith and Gretchen, they rode their rickshaw proudly through the streets of Lucknow. With the cameras on them, the locals all assumed they were celebrities and asked for autographs. Maybe they thought the couple was Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward? Either way, Meredith and Gretchen soon had crowds literally surrounding them and cheering them along. It was kind of like those early ’80s music videos where a singer would walk through the streets, slowly accumulating an improbable posse of followers and dancers.

gretchen_fans
Was it me, or was this moment mildly reminiscent of Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” video?

Eventually, Rob and Amber completed their Boston Tea Party first and headed to Phil who was waiting at the crummiest Pit Stop EVER. But wait! Maybe it wasn’t a Pitstop. After all, the clue only said Phil was at “the mat”. As Ramber headed towards this mysterious fate, the other teams finished up as well, thus ending what was sure to be the most annoying day in ages for these workers. Seriously, how annoyed would you be if reality stars kept running into your office and offering tea? Well, actually, I would love that.

By the way, did I say all the teams had completed the Detour? I lied. Gretchen and Meredith had yet to even start it. This was especially amusing in the wake of Alex and Lynn who in fourth place feared that the old couple had powered their way through the charcoal challenge and leapfrogged to the front of the pack. Yeah, not so much. Instead, our cheery old couple had just arrived at the office building that all the other teams had already left.

Dying of thirst and wishing to drink some of the tea themselves (shades of Gus from AR 6), Meredith and Gretchen headed in and quickly got to work passing out their libations. Once again, a man accidentally tried to take someone else’s tea, causing Gretchen to whip out her matronly guilt. “Shame on you!” she said tongue-in-cheek. Well, at least they were having fun. And better yet, they had gone a whole five minutes without getting lost. Baby steps…

Meanwhile, Rob and Amber finally found the rundown apartment building where Phil was waiting. But guess what? “You’re still racing,” said Phil, who followed up his comment with a strange “Yeah, how’s that feel, ASSHOLES!” expression. Amber took the news harshly as she threw back her head in pure, unadulterated agony. Ha.

phil_heh
“You stupid, stupid humans.”

And then suddenly the screen went black and “To Be Continued…” flashed before out eyes. Wow, that’s the end? But one team’s still doing the Detour. I feel confused and unresolved. Whatever. I love this show, and as I’ve said before, if the producers feel like prolonging the experience, I’m all for it. What do you think will happen? Will Meredith and Gretchen be able to pull themselves out of their giant hole once again? Will Rob and Amber ever fall to the back of the pack?

About

48 Comments

  1. 1
    TinkerbellAPixie TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 5:11 am

    Too funny- I kept waiting for the map cutaway too – just to get a sense of things.

    By the way, I am delighted to finally have identified who Gretchen sounds like with all her little gasps and moans – this is going to be a bit of a stretch but – does anyone else think she sounds like…Davey from the old Davey & Goliath show?

    http://www.stuckinthe70s.com/images/davygoliath.jpg

  2. 2
    keith
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 6:47 am

    I closed my eyes early on for one of Gretchen’s ooh’s, and was convinced it was “It’s Pat” from SNL years ago…

  3. 3
    heather
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 6:51 am

    yes! thanks for the caption about ambah’s coat! i kept saying, “damn, isn’t it incredibly hot in india? aren’t all those people sweating balls? why the HELL is she wearing a winter coat?”

  4. 4
    RealityTV4Me
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 6:55 am

    THANK YOU! THANK YOU, B-Side for including the raised eyebrow from the Philster. My son and I were cracking up! Especially since Gretchidith (I think) had just commented that they were tired and hoping for the pit stop soon.

    My favorite moment from last week had to be when Lynn and Alex reported to the mat after their series of vehicle disasters and Phil told them they were the fourth team to arrive. The unison shout of “WHAT?!” was priceless. I wished you had that captured for us.

    I would LOVE to see Meredith and Gretchen find, take, and succeed with a fast forward next week. It would bring me pure joy to see the look on Ramber’s faces as they were told that they were the second team to arrive, only to look around and see Gretchen’s post-facelift gaze upon them, a twinkle in her eye, and an old lady hand wave. A maniacal laugh would top things off.

  5. 5
    chris
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 6:57 am

    Money for this leg of the race….$125.00

    Pre-paid taxi…300 rubees

    Fantasizing Phil dancing with the Sharks and Jets in West Side Story…priceless

    great recap !!!

  6. 6
    freakgirl
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 7:26 am

    B-side, I picked the same two screencaps for my site as you did (Phil and Amber). So funny.

    Hilarious recap, as usual.

  7. 7
    Brian
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 7:30 am

    B-Side, I think you are giving this episode too much credit. I thought it was one of the most disappointing of the season–at least until the pit-stop “Psych!”.

    I didn’t realize just how backward India is. Yes, you can’t swing a dead cat by the tail without hitting a rickshaw or cow wandering through the street, but the most unfathomably primitive feature had to be that office cubicles have not yet made it there. I wonder what Dilbert comics are like in India?

  8. 8
    Ashes
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 7:41 am

    It’s funny how the hatred for Rob and Amber colors how people see this show. When Rob (who was smiling at the time) said “Don’t try to pull a fast one like that again!” when the wrong guy tried to take the tea, the recap characterizes it as mean and arrogant (The recap says: “Yes, stop not-understanding Rob in his language that is not native to you! How dare you be confused by his foreign tongue!”) However, when the exact same thing happened to Gretchen and she (also smiling) said “Shame on you!” and then went on for a moment about how the man was trying to take tea that wasn’t his, the recap says it was “tongue-in-cheek. Well, at least they were having fun.” Same event, same reaction, similar facial expressions and tones, Gretchen seemed to harp on it for longer than Rob who just made one comment and left it, yet one is characterized as mean and rude, while the other is just having fun and is amusing. Hmmm.

  9. 9
    Kate
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 8:19 am

    I think it was Kelly that actually figured out that it wasn’t a pitstop. As they’re leaving the tea shop she said something like “this clue is worded differently!” If it in fact had been a pit stop then I was waiting for the moment to laugh at her….but she was actually right…..oh well…we’ll have plenty of chances to make fun of her again next week!

  10. 10
    Genevieve
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 8:34 am

    Ashes, that is because Rob is inherently evil. While the old folks are sweet & were innocent in their mistakes.

    If Ron makes one more reference to Iraq I am going to scream.

    p.s. I would like to say that I am still in the running for the tvgasm contest. YAY!!!

  11. 11
    TexasK
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 9:37 am

    I LOVE the Race in India. Seriously, if they ever have an AR that doesn’t stop in India, I think I might not watch (not that I’d have that knowledge ahead of time, but still …). It seems like in every other country they’ve carefully instructed (paid?) the locals to scowl at the right time, not get in the way of the teams or cameras, etc etc. In India, they just can’t control the teeming crowds. A great reality show would be to just throw a few Westerners in India (people like James and BJ from Survivor — even better) and see how they fare. I was more entertained watching the Indians in the background than watching the teams do their thing. So psyched we’ll still be there next week. And I hope the exhausted teams don’t get a chance to sleep before they’re forced to “party with the locals.” Shit, it looked like Mardi Gras on that clip, with Gretchen even whooping it up on a balcony (partying with the locals from a safe distance, of course). I hope she doesn’t get confused and try to get some beads.

  12. 12
    Jess
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 10:11 am

    See, I thought they were all wearing coats and long sleeves/long pants because it actually WAS cool there. I even commented to my roommate “either they have to respect local custom and not show their skin or it’s cool there.” I noticed a bunch of ricksaw dudes wearing scarves, too.

    I love all the words you come up with for Gretchen’s noises. Toots, warbles,…buzzers? HAHAHA!

    I loved how Rob also SHOUTED AT THE INDIAN PEOPLE TO GET THEIR CARDS. Cuz, you know, talking louder makes a foreign language easier to understand. Also, I noticed that Ramber were like, “Yoink” when they got their cards, but the other teams took the freakin’ time to say “Thank you!” and shake hands with the mustachioed Indian businessmen.

    Yay, Amazing Race!

  13. 13
    jack
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 10:18 am

    yes, b-side–the raised-eyebrow shot on phil had me howling; i was counting on you to post it today, and you came through, as usual.

    i too am getting thoroughly sick of ron’s constant iraq references (though they are almost frequent enough for a weekly drinking game, i.e., ‘take a shot whenever ron brings up iraq’ or rob says ‘holy cannolli’ or gretchen makes one of those weird old-lady whining noises), but then again, the boy probably hadn’t been any further from home than Fort Benning, Georgia before he got shipped off to the Middle East, so he doesn’t have too many other points of reference for places where white people are heavily outnumbered and aren’t necessarily in charge.

    but i too am happy to see the race return to India, where the ugly American always seems to pop out of at least one of the amazing racers. i doubt it’s possible to top brandon appealing to God (‘Help her, Lord!) when little nicky got surrounded by a few hundred indians in an open train-car on AR5, but given the kind of attitude kelly’s been dishing for the past few episodes, i feel we can count on her to provide something worthy of our ridicule.

  14. 14
    hazasaem
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 10:20 am

    Is it just me, or does Phil’s expression in the last photo make him look oddly like the Child Catcher from “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang”? Minus the black hair of course. The other one, with his Indian homies flanking him, he looks like Jack Nicholson as The Riddler. Quite the animated Phil this episode!!

  15. 15
    Jess
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 10:47 am

    P.S. FINALLY saw the (In)Famous Phil Package! YAY!

    And y’all were right. Once I spied it, I just could not tear my eyes away.

  16. 16
    TexasK
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 10:53 am

    A friend of mine just had a most likely true and hilarious insight into the crowds of people enveloping Gretchen and Meredith. While the rest of us found it heartwarming and, I’m ashamed to admit, it even brought a tear to my eye (I’m hormonal, OK), he was CERTAIN that at least a few in that crowd were probably looking for pickpocketing opportunities.

    Still, I’m sticking to B-Side’s Newman/Woodward theory. Too funny.

  17. 17
    alohaguy
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 11:01 am

    Yes, the phamous phill phackage was very evident in the first stroll…

  18. 18
    Ashes
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 11:13 am

    Kate, I thought it was Amber who pointed out that the clue was worded differently and didn’t say it was a pit stop. They were the first to get the clue, and I thought that she pointed it out right away upon reading the clue. In any event, they broadcast the “twist” for us so that it wasn’t suprising.

  19. 19
    cvillafl
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 11:14 am

    You forgot to mention the part when Ron and Kelly mentioned that Rob and Amber were the “luckiest people” that they have ever seen. I’m sure a few of us were yelling at the TV, “Its called intervention by CBS!” Last week, Kelly also mentioned that she wanted to be an “example to the world.” Each week she is an example. An example of how a beauty queen can be a dumbass.

  20. 20
    b-side
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 11:52 am

    Ashes – you’re right: I did have a more favorable tone for Meredith and Gretchen than for Rob and Amber, but hey, this ain’t the New York Times. I can be biased if I want to.

    Heh.

    P.S. – instant replay of the tivo revealed that Rob had not in fact smiled when he reprimanded the local. who’s biased now? mwahahaaha (although I’m sure rob was still being tongue in cheek).

  21. 21
    Ediebosox
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 12:07 pm

    Wow, you got screencaps of both Phil and Ambers “ohh face”.

    Awesome. Now to print them out, cut them into paper dolls and force them to make sweet sweet love to one another.

    ANd here I thought this was gonna be a boring day at work….

  22. 22
    anon
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 12:26 pm

    when they mentioned that rob and amber were the ‘luckiest’ poeple…i about died…cause THEY had JUST given them the break of NOT Yielding the two! HELLO!?! Kelly and Ron had a chance to break Ramber’s ‘lucky’ streak and didnt take it!

  23. 23
    smithie
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 12:26 pm

    I just said to myself: Smithie, it’s nice out, your boss is out for the day, why don’t you leave as soon as B-Side gets out the Amazing Race recap.
    Thank you B-Side, I thank you, the beach thanks you, my tan thanks you…

  24. 24
    smithie
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 12:27 pm

    I just said to myself: Smithie, it’s nice out, your boss is out for the day, why don’t you leave as soon as B-Side gets out the Amazing Race recap.
    Thank you B-Side, I thank you, the beach thanks you, my tan thanks you…

  25. 25
    hazasaem
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 12:40 pm

    I wanna work where Smithie works

  26. 26
    smithie
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 12:56 pm

    I laughed wheh the amazing gay duo were so shocked that Rob and Amber didn’t yield them. Clue phone guys, they are not threatened by you!!!
    I can’t stand them.

  27. 27
    Ashes
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 1:54 pm

    Smithie, I agree completely. Lynn and Alex are so obsessed with Rob and Amber to the exclusion of all else in the Race that they don’t seem to see that Rob and Amber aren’t the only other team to worry about. Besides, focusing only on other teams can lead to silly mistakes.

    They could have been a funny team, but some of their jokes are so obviously rehearsed (“Survive that!”?) and the rest of the time they are so bitter, whiny, and hypocritical. I had to laugh (and groan) when they said that they are the honest team who plays fair then turned right around and bragged about how sneaky they are. I guess if anyone else does it, it’s dishonest and unfair, but if they do it, they are paragons of virtue! It’s just too much.

  28. 28
    cvillafl
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 2:09 pm

    B-Side, thanks for the image of Gretchen, the backpack, and “nothing else.” What a hot image! For the first time, B-Side, you made me feel normal. It’s nice to know there are other people out there like me. Thank you!

  29. 29
    kepster
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 2:25 pm

    I think I know why they didn’t show the map…when TAR said they were at the airport in Mumbai and Gretchen bought the backpack, they were SOOOO in South Africa. Clues: 1) They were in front of a store called “Shades of Africa”. 2) The Billabong backpack was 280, which would be like 6 bucks in rupees but 30 or so in rand, which makes more sense. 3)Indian airports are HOLES. SA ones are very nice.

    Yes, I am a huge geek, but a well-travelled one.

    I’m so hurt that Phil tried to lie to us…

  30. 30
    kepster
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 2:26 pm

    I think I know why they didn’t show the map…when TAR said they were at the airport in Mumbai and Gretchen bought the backpack, they were SOOOO in South Africa. Clues: 1) They were in front of a store called “Shades of Africa”. 2) The Billabong backpack was 280, which would be like 6 bucks in rupees but 30 or so in rand, which makes more sense. 3)Indian airports are HOLES. SA ones are very nice.

    Yes, I am a huge geek, but a well-travelled one.

    I’m so hurt that Phil tried to lie to us…

  31. 31
    ha!
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 2:39 pm

    Amber’s Oh face. Phil about to break out in song. And Phil’s face at the non-pitstop.

    Too much, I say!

    Wouldn’t it be funny if Gretchen and Meredith finish last next week, at the end of a non-elimination leg, and they have to give up their shiny new backpack…again!?!?!

    Ouch. Okay, I’m done.

  32. 32
    mattie
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 3:31 pm

    love the west side story reference. my students are watching it right now. i doubt i’ll be able to keep a straight face in class tomorrow.

    phil handing out clues? i’m not used to seeing him without an ethnic sidekick.

  33. 33
    Lady J
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 7:30 pm

    Is there such a thing as ‘non-ethnic’? Doesn’t everyone have an ethnicity?

  34. 34
    Kate
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 10:13 pm

    Ashes, I just watched it again and it was in fact Amber who said it was worded differently (Ron and Kelly were right behind them getting the clues, so I forgot when it was said)….I’m actually more surprised that Amber was smart enough to figure it out!

  35. 35
    yankeegirl
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 10:40 pm

    Best shot of Ambah. Evah.

    I bet Rob gets to see that a lot. Ewwwww.

  36. 36
    mattie
    Posted April 14, 2005 at 9:05 am

    yes, everyone has ethinicity. the word ethnic, however, refers to someone of different cultures or customs.

  37. 37
    eddys
    Posted April 14, 2005 at 9:48 am

    Great Recap of the India leg! I personally love Phil’s ‘you’re not finished yet’. Random thoughts on the show & posts…
    I’m glad to finally see Ramber succeed through sheer effort… rather than the luck of someone recognizing them, pulling in someone to help, or manipulating things. I’m no big fan of Lynn & Alex either, but let’s call it what it is… when Rob was angry that the boyfriends wouldn’t share their cab… what was he expecting? Rob had already bribed, lied, and stolen other peoples money and taxis… and he’s upset when he’s refused a shared cab??? Also… no one, anywhere, seems to have given Lynn and Alex credit for the fantastic job they did on the rapids, passing Ramber out of pure effort and sportsmanship, coming in first on that difficult leg, and then not having any ‘prize’ thrown in.
    Yes, they ‘flame’a bit much… but they are pretty good racers. On Ron and Kelly… agree on everything… would love to see Ron race with someone else as his partner. Personally I’m still rooting for Uchenna and Joyce. Thank all!
    Long Live TAR!

  38. 38
    Genevieve
    Posted April 14, 2005 at 11:24 am

    Could you please change the Phil pic on your banner to this one? Trust me, it would be a good move :o )

  39. 39
    Ashes
    Posted April 14, 2005 at 1:00 pm

    Eddys, I agree that it was sad for Lynn and Alex to come in first on only 1 leg so far and have it be 1 of only 2 non-prize legs. However, some people are trying to claim this was discrimination by CBS which is silly. Those legs are pre-determined, and gay people have won the Race (the whole thing, not just 1 prize leg) so why would the network care now? It was unfortunate for the team that they won that particular leg instead of the one before or after it.

  40. 40
    Steve
    Posted April 14, 2005 at 7:44 pm

    All these comments and no one has mentioned Alex’s complaint about his butt hurting while riding in one of those archic modes of transportation. As no other contestant in TAR complained about a pain in the posterior while riding I wonder if Alex’s discomfort resulted from some other activity. What goes on during those pitsops?

  41. 41
    Catie
    Posted April 15, 2005 at 6:57 am

    Why do I ALWAYS forget to look for Phil’s package? Ugh. I already deleted it off Tivo… Can someone find a screen cap of it?

  42. 42
    eddys
    Posted April 15, 2005 at 9:43 am

    Ashes,… agreed on Lynn and Alex… their sexual orientation never came to my mind when thinking about their win in that leg of the race. It is just bad luck it wasn’t a ‘prize’leg of the race.
    They, like Ramber, make good T.V. Alex’s butt hurting is an editorial choice to, albeit a stereotypical one… (I can’t think they’d take another minority group and let the stereotpes about them flow like they are with L&A)..but we’re after a T.V. audience here. Oh well… they provide some great moments of self-effacing humor though, and are from time-to-time likable, and racing better than anyone thought they would.
    Viva TAR!

  43. 43
    melisa
    Posted April 15, 2005 at 12:14 pm

    If I hear Lynn and Alex mention “Rob and Amber” one more time…I swear…I quit!!

    They’re obsessed, and frankly it’s starting to scare me.

    Rob…don’t drop the soap man. Lynn and alex obviously have a hidden agenda for you.
    Ewww…

  44. 44
    eddys
    Posted April 15, 2005 at 1:45 pm

    I agree with Melisa,…their obsession scares me too… but what scares me is the lack of knowledge and ASSumptions about being gay, and the crude jokes about it. Would ‘no-harm-intended’ jokes made about Uchena and Joyce be tolerated and looked at the same way by us fans? I sure hope not. I guess we’ve got along way to go yet on that.
    Viva TAR!

  45. 45
    tv freak
    Posted April 17, 2005 at 11:06 am

    You asked if Merideth and Gretchen will catch up, b-side. Ever hear of bunching?

  46. 46
    tv freak
    Posted April 17, 2005 at 11:08 am

    p.s. am I invited to the wedding?

  47. 47
    Catie
    Posted April 18, 2005 at 12:42 pm

    I heard on the radio this morning that Rob & Amber’s wedding will be broadcast against the American Idol finale- which is also on against the 2 hour season finale of Lost. Seriously, who is going to watch that wedding over one of the other two shows? Sad as it may be, I think I’ll probably Tivo one (probably Lost) and then catch the last 5 minutes of AI. But you couldn’t pay me to watch that wedding.

    Okay, you COULD pay me. But we’d have to negotiate.

  48. 48
    Ben
    Posted April 18, 2005 at 8:09 pm

    This may or may not be relevant but I just missed out on meeting Phil. I was visiting my sister in New Zealand (where Phil is from) and walked past a book store that said he would be there that afternoon signing copies of his book. Sadly I had to catch a plane at that time so couldn’t meet him. My sister went back and got for me the book and an autograph from the great man. She couldn’t report on his crotch though as he was sitting down.

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