-
TV Social
Login
Recent Comments
- zbird: I have been around here for. ever. Since the B-side and J-unit days. Remember Honey Bunny? Yeah. I do. This...
- zbird: ^^^ Doesn’t do well with change. *whimper* Such a bummer.
- SororSalsa: Just watched the Top 20 show…I think they picked a good group. All of my faves are in!...
- pageantkidgrownup: It’s 10 something pm. My oldest two kids are playing Black Widow...
- AliceinPopLand: This site is blocked at my work. I’m so depressed right now. I cant follow my fav recaps at work...
- had enough: @Happy day — As you eloquently put it “Goodness, am...
- Flipit: Added a login section! Trying to get the stupid hosting service to get companies to unblock! Don’t...
- TurtleGirl93: *gasp* Wait, whaaaaaat? Someone tell me where I can read about the demise of...
- ius2bmargo: Yikes! I better get reading, gotta a lot of catching up to do! And @classydrunk , lets go have a cocktail...
- Derek Hazelton: FYI, posting on the new site as dqh257. See you on the other side!
Hot Shows
-
Fresh Tweets!
Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
4:24 pm
103 Comments
Here’s something I didn’t expect: The Amazing Race: Family Edition waited all season long to pull out it best episode of all. Tuesday night’s season finale was the sort of show we’ve come to expect from The Amazing Race: exciting, intense, emotional, funny. Maybe the amped up stakes involved me more, but I tend to think it’s because the series managed to get back to its roots for two hours as the teams faced a variety of obstacles ranging from inept cabbies to hidden clue boxes to daunting luck challenges to chaotic airport shenanigans. This is the Race we know and love, and as we reached the end of the two hours and saw a glimpse of season nine, my faith was restored that this show will return to its full glory soon enough.The big finale began where we last left off: beautiful Western Montana! Oh the glory of Big Sky Country. Cattle! Prairie dogs! Phil! Could there be a better place in the world at that moment? Anyway, we saw our teams enjoying this little slice of heaven as Nick Linz lassoed his sister like a low-rent cowboy auditioning for an amusement park gig. Later, the teams gathered to eat a hearty lunch, and as usual, the Weavers separated themselves from the pack by sitting alone at an empty table. Too bad, really. You just know Linda was dying to join in once the Bransens and Linzes started making “Last supper” and “Judas” jokes.
Sadly, our rare peak into the world of the Pit Stop was cut short as the actual got underway once again. With the Bransens leading the pack, we learned that teams would now have to fly to Montreal, Canada. Oooh! Airports and foreign countries! Sort of. Does Canada count? I guess so. Anyway, once in Montreal, teams would have to make their way to the Underground City and find a clue in the passageway for the CDP Capital Building. (And yes, I too was surprised none of the Weaver girls asked what country “CDP” was.) As the Bransens drove off to that metropolitan hub known as Billings, Montana, young Lindsay let the power of Quebec sink in: “Canada, huh?” Her bewilderment was short-lived, however, as Wally dropped this bombshell: “It’s French-speaking there.” To which Lindsay balked, “French? Crap!” C’mon, Lindsay. I really like you. Don’t go all Weaver on me.
At the airport, the Bransens made a few calls and wound up on a flight arriving ten minutes earlier than the other two teams, causing Beth to note, “Ten minutes could make a difference.” And with that, the floating ghost head of Stassi Schroeder appeared on screen, crying, “One minute makes the biggest difference!!!” Seriously, she’s still very upset about that. Anyway, all the teams took a flight to their first layover in Minneapolis, and while the Bransens headed off on their super duper “Ooooh! We’re TEN MINUTES earlier!” flight, everyone else attempted to find other flights into Montreal. The Linzes managed to get a leg up on their competition by booking seats on a plane arriving a full hour ahead of the Bransens (ha, suckers! Oh wait, I like them), and when the Weavers tried to pull off similar shenanigans, their inept airline worker failed to produce results (Ha, suckers! For real this time). Of course, I probably would have been happy with whatever the outcome of this mess would be, simply because for the first time in ages, we had a splendid mess of airport intrigue. There’s really no substitute for it.
The Linzes and Weavers then flew to their next layover in Toronto, and in a mad dash to the ticket counter, Rolly managed to trip up Alex, causing both of them to tumble right in front of some homely looking airline worker. Of course, Linda went into full “MY HUSBAND DIED” panic as she yelled, “NOOOO!!! Don’t touch him!!!” She then added, “Are you sorry that you touched him? YOU WILL BE!!!”
Now, even though the rough and tumble action seemed relatively harmless (we could, after all, just barely detect an affable smile on Alex’s face post-tumble), the Linz bruiser still sneered, “He’s lucky I didn’t break his arm.” Are you sorry you didn’t break his arm? YOU WILL BE!! Okay, I’ll stop.
Well, as the Linzes picked up their tickets to that earlier flight into Montreal, the Weavers went into a back office and managed to get themselves on the same plane. Blast! The only thing that could make me feel better was a nifty air travel diagram, and thankfully, the show was kind enough to oblige. Gotta love those animated lines! But my diagram high was short-lived as the first plane touched down and the lovable Linz family struggled to find a cab. The Weavers, on the other hand, managed to flag one down quite easily, and because it had been entirely too long since they’d made fools of themselves, Rolly stepped up to the plate with a nice blend of condescending yet dumb Americanism.
“Are you fast?” he asked the cabbie, then adding, “El fasto?” (Collective groan amongst all viewers). Not only is “El fasto” blatantly not French, it’s actually not Spanish either. But then again, everyone knows that if you add an “El” and an “o” to any word, people around the world always understand it. Move over math, we’ve got a new universal language!
Amusingly though, the driver just gave Rolly a disgusted look and retorted, “I’m not going to lose my life getting you there.” Whaaa? He speaks ENGLISH! Wow, he just totally rocked the Weavers’s world.
Nevertheless, the Weavers drove off, but not before seeing the Linzes waiting around for a taxi. “We saw the G.I. Janes standing there, looking puzzled,” Rolly said. G.I. Janes? What the? That literally makes no sense. I’d really like to hear the derivation of that moniker, but chances are it probably appeared to Linda in a holy vision. I think we can officially declare that the Weavers have the absolute worst derisive nicknames for the other teams.
Meanwhile, up in the air, the Bransens learned that their flight would be delayed about twenty minutes. Worst ten minute time saver EVER!
Back in Montreal, the Weavers arrived at the Metro station they needed to enter to access the Underground City. However, they weren’t about to let their taxi go. Linda told the driver to wait for them, and when he said yes, she still didn’t believe him. “Look at me. Look at me in the eyes!” she demanded, adding, “My frizz will detect your sincerity.” Ultimately, the driver convinced Linda that he was not of Satanic ilk and would in fact wait for the family to return. The Weavers then went running around the Underground City (which is basically just a series of underground passageways from building to building so Canucks can avoid that harsh winter cold, eh? Eventually, Linda and her kids found the clue which revealed the latest Detour: “Slide it” or “Roll it.” That’s what she said! Rimshot! Sorry, I don’t even know what that means. It just sounded good.
Anyway, in “Slide it,” teams had to travel to the McGill Arena and go curling (a.k.a. one of my favorite Winter Olympic sports. Everyone always hates on it, but I think it’s the best. But that’s because I have a weird thing for obscure Olympic sports). Anyway, each person would have to slide a granite stone into the “house” (essentially a target) to move on. In “Roll It,” teams would have to use traditional lumberjack tools to roll logs along a 100 foot course. You know the drill — it’s physically demanding but could be done quickly. (I feel like there’s a Star Jones joke in there somewhere).
Well, the Weavers opted for “Slide it,” which was good because their driver — named Ted — knew exactly where the McGill Arena was. “There’s only one rink,” he insisted. Oh really, TED? We’ll see about that. Nevertheless, the Weavers believed him and cooed, “He’s nice. You’re great.” Seriously, Ted, they only say that about one other man, and his name rhymes with Chesus.
As for the Linzes, they finally found a cab, but just when they seemed to be on the right track, they committed one of my favorite Amazing Race blunders: they walked right by the clue box (insert cymbal crash here). The plucky fam from Ohio ran around and around the Underground City, and just when I was fearing that they may fall entirely too far behind, we had great news on the Weaver front. Turns out Ted took his passengers to the wrong rink. Wait, I thought there was only one rink, TED. Nope, turns out there’s a whole second rink half an hour away. Might this be the break that the Linzes need? Eh, not so much. The good news was that the Linzes found their clue eventually, but then they too got lost and wound up at the wrong rink. But it wasn’t all a loss: “There’s a lot of sexy babies running around here,” Nick commented, causing Tommy to add, “I KNOW dude!!” It’s funny. When I think of Montreal, I only think of one sexy, sexy baby:
Meanwhile, the Weavers finally arrived at the proper rink and invited Ted inside to watch them curl. It would actually have been a pretty nice gesture had they not been patronizingly using his name in every single sentence. Once inside, we had a classic Weaver Edumacation moment as the family learned about one of nature’s wonders: ice! “We don’t even know what ice is except for ice cubes,” one of the girls said. To be fair, they’ve always referred to ice as “Jesus crystal.”
Hot pants and curling: the love affair continues.
As for the Bransens, they finally arrived à Monréal and headed out to the Underground City where they too completely ran by the clue box. After some general scampering and scouring, they retraced their route and found the pesky little box, and in a surprise move, the family opted to roll logs. Yay! I love when we get variety.
Back at the rink, Rebecca took hold of her granite stone and prepared to slide it down to the target. “I’m nervous!” she said. Why are you nervous? Oh, I understand. You’re just thinking about all the potential frostbite that could come from wearing hot pants into an ice rink. Happens to all of us. Nevertheless, the Weavers eventually powered through the Detour, and Rolly read the next clue. “Montel…” he began before his family corrected him with “Montreal.” Looks like Rolly might needs some El Reading-o Lessons-o.
Well, the clue told the Weavers to head to the American Pavilion, and so they zipped off with Ted, who just happened to say the magic words: “First of all, I want to thank God.”
“Ted, we thank God every day too,” Linda said happily.
“Are you a Christian?” asked one of the daughters, probably Rachel.
“I do, I’m a Christian,” Ted responded.
“So are WE!!” the Weavers all replied. WOW!!! What are the chances!! Another Christian!! In Quebec of all places too!!! It’s a Christmas Miracle!
Meanwhile, the Linzes arrived at the rink, and while they made short work of the curling, the Bransens slaved with the logs, but that’s because they were doing it all wrong. Look at the lumberjacks, WalDER! You’re driving me nuts with your poor technique! Eh, let’s just talk about the Weavers again.
By now, they had encountered the American Pavilion which was essentially a giant wire-framed sphere built for the 1967 World’s Fair. “That’s pretty crazy they built something that cool back then,” remarked one of the daughters. She’s right. It’s a common fact that cool architecture didn’t arrive until say 1985 or so. I mean, we all know that the Taj Mahal was built in 1992. Sheesh.
Anyway, the Weavers then searched all around the American Pavilion for their next clue which then directed them to an industrial complex where they’d have to find La Porte J, or as we in America would call it: Door J. And so the team hopped back in their cab and continued their love-fest with Ted. “God led us to you. He dropped us off right where we needed to be,” Linda said. Later, she even added, “You’re like a blessing from heaven… I said, ‘God, we need the right taxi driver. Please send him to us.’ And he did!” Hey Linda, do you ever think that maybe, just maybe, you’re using up all your prayer credit on stupid things? I mean seriously. God’s a busy man (or woman or, er, celestial body).
Over at the ice rink, the Linzes finished up their curling in typically happy spirits, and as they left, we were treated to an oh-so-artistic shot of them departing through a mirror. Well done, camera man. Well done! With dreams of opening up a curling rink in Cincinnati, the Linzes then headed to the American Pavilion where they seemed to momentarily transform into the Weavers’ goofy cousins. First, Alex told the taxi driver to “Andele!” Then, as they searched for the American Pavilion, Megan suggested, “I say we ask old people… They were around during the time.” I don’t know what sort of spell Linda cast on these kids, but I hope it wears off real soon…
I guess we should check in on the Bransens. They were still rolling logs, with the daughters squeaking “Eeeee!” at every possible chance they had. Nothing new there.
The Weavers meanwhile finally showed up at La Porte J and encountered the next Roadblock which involved one person learning and performing “The Catch” on a trapeze. Unsurprisingly, the Weavers through Rolly to the fire, or El Fire-o, as he calls it, and as he learned the trapeze technique, Linda became a nervous wreck, imploring, “Pray for him, Rachel. Pray!” Luckily, her spirits remained high as she then told us, “This has been the best day. Gosh, it’s been fun!” Yeah, we’ll see if you’re still saying that a few paragraphs from now.
Anyway, Rolly completed his trapeze jump, causing Linda to gush, “OH MY GOD!!! WOW!!!” She then yelled at the trapeze acrobat, “Are you sorry that you caught Rolly? YOU WILL BE!!!! Oh, wait. No, never mind.”
Well, next stop on the leg was the Parc Olympique where teams would have to hop onto a golf cart and drive into the Stade Olympique. Ah, but there was only one access route into the stadium, and it would not be easy to find. The Weavers drove off to this next challenge, and soon after, the Linzes arrived at the Roadblock. “I’ll do it,” Megan said meekly, but her brothers didn’t hear her, and Alex wound up accepting the challenge. C’mon Megan. You gotta shout that shit out!
Anyway, as Alex climbed up to the trapeze, his siblings all feared that he might be too, uh, rotund for the challenge. “Alex is a fat lard,” Nick said. “Let’s go fatty,” added Tommy. “Think light, think feather,” Megan then said. Now that’s what I call familial support! Well, Alex failed his first attempt to do “The Catch,” which severely impeded his attempts to impress the female acrobats, or as Tommy so nicely called them, “those two broads.”
Butt seriously, folks…
Luckily, while Alex flailed in his circus of shame, the Weaver faced an ungodly setback: they couldn’t get into the damn stadium! But Linda had a foolproof plan: “We should always take the left. Because the right’s the most common. The left is always the way we should take.” Uh, Linda, I don’t think the stadium was designed with trickery in mind. Also, I know this is crazy, but if you approach something from the opposite direction, left becomes RIGHT! Crazy, huh?
Back at the Cirque Du So-Lame (I slay me), a sweaty Alex flopped again. To lighten the mood, he noted that one of the trapeze guys was just “hanging out.” Hey, let us make the corny jokes. You just focus on getting through this and beating the Weavers. In the meantime, the Bransens actually caught up, which meant the Linzes had somehow lost about an hour on the Weavers. Not to fear though. Alex finally completed the task, and then it was off to the stadium. Meanwhile, the Weavers still struggled to find an entrance, going so far as to try ramming an elevator door open with their cart. Eventually, they found the proper access ramp (blast!) and entered the stadium where they found their next clue.
Sorry, Linda. You can’t just will a door open.
Teams now had to find one of three departure times hidden somewhere in the entire 56,000 seat arena! And yes, my eyes rolled back into my head with ecstasy. Back on Amazing Race 4, teams had a similar task in the final episode where they had to find a clue hidden in a section of a stadium, but that was nothing compared to this behemoth task. Well, the Weavers got to work while outside the Bransens and Weaver searched the area for an entrance. “Is this the Stand Olympic?” Megan asked pedestrians over and over again. It was all very Weaverish, with the difference being that when she made a mistake, at least her brothers corrected her. As for the Bransens, Wally only had one request: “I wish we had our old golf carts from the golf course.” He LOVES Buick!
Well, the stadium challenge turned out to be the great equalizer, and as the Linzes came running in, Linda let out a signature, “I hate this.” Hey, I thought this was the best day ever? Nevertheless, Linda could rest comfortably knowing at least one thing: “We beat ‘em here, and they know it.” Uh, does that even matter? And isn’t that a not very Christian mentality? Love thy neighbors, BITCH.
It became clear that this task was gonna take a few hours, so the teams all went outside to pay their cabbies, which resulted in a minor bottleneck on the sidewalk. Basically, the Weavers and Linzes needed to get by each other’s golf carts, and when the Team Ohio asked Team Florida “Are you guys gonna scoot over?”, Rachel or Rebecca (I couldn’t tell) simply retorted, “Uh, we are!” People with good ears though could hear Rolly sneer, “Not for you guys.” And so as the two carts managed to sneak by each other, Tommy said something silly about “Rolly Polly,” causing Linda to complain that the Linzes were calling her son names — as opposed to her calling the Linzes “G.I. Janes” or the more common, “They’re just idiots.”
With all the cabs paid off, the teams had nothing else to do but search. And search. And search some more. Eventually, the tediousness of the challenge took its toll on the families as Becca Weaver moaned, “I can’t wait to go home and get my hair done.” Yeah, she really needs to get a few more white trash streaks. As for WalDER, he too was quite cranky. “This is gonna take all frickin’ night,” he complained. “I’m gonna kick somebody’s ass.” Beware the wrath of WALLY!!!
Eventually, the Bransens and Linzes snuck up to the second tier, and while Rolly wanted his family to join them, the rest of the Weavers simply threw in the towel, making up excuses why going up to the next level would really just be an exercise in futility. Yes, such futility that the Linzes found a departure time of 5:50 AM and the Bransens found one of 5:45 AM. Later, Linda full on went to sleep in a cot, and Rachel scoffed “This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life.” Yes, bash the challenge for your own shortcomings. We understand. “By not doing this, it’s not like I’ve not accomplished anything. It’s not like I’m less of a better person or anything. I just think that it’s just stupid!” Rebecca then said. Maybe if you hadn’t wasted your prayer on the taxi, you’d be having better luck now. Ever think of that? OF COURSE NOT.
Well, the show went to commercial as we stared at Linda’s sleeping face and heard the kids say that they were never gonna comeback. But as any Amazing Race viewer knows, these sort of dire situations resolve themselves about two seconds after the commercial break, and sure enough, that’s what happened. Linda arose, and the family gave it one last college try. And sure enough, they found their departure time: 5:55 AM. Last one, suckers.
The next morning, the families arrive at the airport, and as they took off in their little private planes, Phil announced, “All teams are now making their way to a mystery destination.” Oooh! Exciting! And that destination: Toronto! Mysterious indeed! Once teams touched down, they had to race to the top of the CN tower and scan the city to find the location of their next clue — also one of my favorite sort of challenges. On the way to the tower, the Weavers stopped at a gas station to get directions. Linda asked if she could keep the gas attendant’s map, and at first the man was resistant, but then, with the stereotypical flourish of a sitar, he handed it over. Oh, those kindly Indians!
The Linzes and Bransens arrived at the observation deck first where Walter got his nasty sweat all over his binoculars. Gross! The Weavers, meanwhile, had fun in the elevator as Rolly asked the attendant (in typical Weaver patronizing style) how he enjoyed his job. “It has its ups and downs,” the guy said. Oh that is HILARious! Well played!
“Look! It’s Jason Priestley!”
Well, the teams eventually found the big Amazing Race flag, and the Linzes were the first team to actually arrive at the location where they found another Detour. Suddenly, we found our old friend Phil sauntering through a shoe museum. Mayhaps he’d be donating one of his best set of clogs? Probably not. Instead, he introduced the latest set of Detour options: Ship or Shoe. In Ship, teams had to sail across Toronto Harbor to a vessel called the Kajaba (and no, Phil did not pronounce it like “Kajabar”). There, one team member would have to climb a mast and retrieve a flag. In Shoe, teams had to go to the Bata Shoe Museum and seek out the one woman out of 100 that could fit into a certain pair of shoes.
Anyway, the Linzes and Weavers opted for Ship while the Bransens headed to the shoe museum. As usual, Linda was ready to ask for a quick solid from God. “Oh Lord, please help up with the ship,” she said. Seconds later, Rolly tried to hop a fence but soundly failed. I guess that was the Lord’s way of saying, “You’re on your own, jerks.”
Unsurprisingly, the Linzes made quick work of this challenge, with Tommy proclaiming, “I’m like Popeye!” Well, if Popeye had ADHD, then yes. For their next destination, teams then had to drive to Queenston — a town on the Niagra gorge — choose a jet boat, ride into the Niagra whirlpool, and grab a clue from a buoy. Sounds like a plan! As the Linzes drove off, we then checked in on the Bransens who were having a doozy of a time finding a match for their shoes. Was this Detour a mistake? Will they ever find the right woman? COMMERCIAL BREAK! A few minutes later when we returned, the Bransens magically found a match, and then it was off to Queenston. “Isn’t Niagra Falls a huge waterfall?” asked Lindsay Bransen. Groan.
Meanwhile, the Weavers sent Rolly — of course — up the mast to retrieve their flag, but uh oh! He dropped the damned thing! Hey, Rolly. Are you sorry you dropped the flag? YOU WILL BE!!! Actually, it turned out to be okay. The flag landed on the dock, and Linda was able to retrieve it, and before we knew it, everyone was racin’ to Queenston! Yeeehaww!!
Normally, I hate when people drive like this. But how can you hate the Linzes?
With the Bransens and Linzes neck and neck, I gotta admit, my heart started pounding just a tad. The two families found their jet boats, and dammit if those things didn’t look like the most fun ever. Basically, they were these giant motor boats. Kind of like Maid of the Mist gone X-TREME!!! I was curious about one thing though. Who was that random family sitting in the back of the Bransen’s boat? Did anyone else see them? And I think there may have been a family on the Linz’s boat too. How awkward. It’s like when you’re sitting at a cramped restaurant and strangers come and share a table with you.
After retrieving their clues from the buoy, the teams then learned they’d be heading to Lewiston, NY — their final destination city!! Okay, heart beating a little harder now. Say what you will about this season, but you can never deny the final episode excitement. Anyway, the Linzes and Bransens headed on their boats to Lewiston, which was on the other side of the river (don’t worry, the Weavers were firmly in third place). Hey, did these teams have to pay customs to cross the river like that? Somebody better look into that!
Once the families hopped off their boats, they encountered the last Roadblock. One person had to assemble a geography jigsaw puzzle, which was basically a map of Central and North America. After all the states and countries were in the correct place, teams could then make their way to the finish line. The finish line!!! Okay, this was crazy exciting. Nick Linz and Walter Bransen attacked their puzzles with a geographic fervor not seen since Rand McNally found out the USSR had split into like 12 different countries. This may have been the most exciting jigsaw puzzle of all time. It seemed like Nick was going faster, but his mistaken belief that Oklahoma lied north of Colorado had me believing this could be a tight one.
I swear, it was a lot more exciting than this looks.
The producers then taunted us for a few minutes as we cut back and forth and back and forth between the two puzzles, with the rest of the teammates saying things like “I can smell the million dollars” and “A million dollars is at stake.” Ultimately, Nick managed to finish first, thanks to a pesky Rhode Island piece that Wally had forgotten. With the Linzes already running towards Phil and his outstretched arms, it was clear that the Bransens wouldn’t be able to catch up. But then again, you never know. It was a foot race to the end, and lo and behold, the Linzes arrived first. Linzes win!!! YES!!! Granted, I would have been happy if the Bransens had won too, but seriously, who doesn’t love the Linzes?
Yay!
Aww.
Someone get me a tissue.
Well, Tommy collapsed on the mat, but he then picked himself up — you can’t keep Bone down for long! — and Phil delivered his usual speech “25 days, 50 cities, and more than 600 consecutive hours as a family! Linz family, you are the winners of The Amazing Race!” And just like that, the show did what it has always been known to do: go from exciting to emotional on the turn of a dime. As the siblings hugged and kissed each other and wept tears of joy, I had to admit, I got a little verklemped. C’mon! It’s family! They love each other! But the real clincher was seeing the Paolos clapping in the crowd. Who else wouldn’t get a little misty-eyed to see Marion rocking her neck kerchief once again?
The Bransens then showed up moments later, also to thunderous applause, and then it was time for speeches. “This is all for mom and dad,” Alex Linz said triumphantly. And speaking of parents, Phil then turned to Walter and asked, “Wally, you must be very proud of them as a father.”
“They’re just, uh, they’re great ladies…” he started before succumbing to tears. And with that, his daughters embraced him and cried too. Damn you, Family Edition! Why must you be so dull for so long and then slam us with this emotional whopper of an ending? Nevertheless, with tears in her eyes, Beth Bransen said, “We love him to death, and we wouldn’t have made it through this without him.” And yes, there was more crying.
Then Walter said that the Linzes were a real testament to their parents. “As a parent, I was just very proud of them,” he then added. Wow, that was so incredibly nice. I’m loving this lovefest.
Two cheers for painkillers!
Eventually, the Weavers wound up in third place, and I don’t know if maybe it was the hot pants or something else, but Phil had quite the boner going on as he greeted the Florida team. He asked the kids what they thought of their mom, and Rebecca said through tears, “She’s done an amazing job, especially everything that’s happened with us this past year and a half like losing my dad, and she’s just helped us so much.” It was a sweet moment, even if it was coming from the Weavers. Granted, mom’s a bit nuts, but these poor kids — she’s all they have. Okay, FINE. I’m being sentimental. Sometimes you gotta go a little Chrissy Godlewski. I just want my BACKPACK!
Phil LOVES hot pants!
Isn’t it odd, by the way, that Linda never seemed to kiss her children? Even Marion Paolo kissed DJ. Maybe that’s why Rolly looked so pissed at the finish line. He just wants to be kissed! Nevertheless, Linda did have nice things to say about her children, especially Rachel. “She’s kept her eyes on the Lord,” mom said. Yeah, and also thrown garbage at other teams and called people retards. But mostly, her eyes were on the Lord.
Well, the speeches wrapped up, and the eliminated teams rushed the stage to hug everyone. And aww, if it wasn’t only the cutest image ever: Carissa Gaghan giving Alex Linz a huge hug. You know, if I were her age, the Linzes would literally be my heros. But I’m older, so my heros are Julie Chen and assorted football players who help me in my fantasy league.
Dammit! Stop pulling on my heartstrings!
And as the show ended, we finally figured out what was up with that whole “Who dey?” line the Linzes always say.
“Who dey? Who dey? Who dey think they’ll beat them Linzes?” the family chanted, with Tommy adding, “Nobody because we won one million dollars.”
And how. What did you think about this season finale? Did you like it as much as me? I already saw some other articles at EW.com and Reality Blurred that were kind of hating on it. Tell me I’m not the only one!
TV Social
-
103 Comments
Watching this episode of TAR was a spiritual experience for me. As far as I’m concerned God firmly regained control of the universe. There were a lot of people out there who thought the Weavers would win. Ye of little faith – God was not going to let that happen.
Want more proof – check out the cbs.com race after the race (where the second and third place teams compete to win a giant gas guzzling SUV).
It’s always nice (if not rare) to see the team you’re rooting for actually win. Yes this was by far the worst season ever but props to the show for still having the ability to cast interesting people. No doubt about it this spring we’ll have our show back better than ever.
By the way the “Who Dey” thing is from the 1991 Cincinnati Bengals when they came out of nowhere to actually have a good season. I think it got started because people around the country were wondering just who the hell they were. But what do I know I’m a Pittsburgh Steelers fan…
Thanks for all the great recaps!!!
The only thing I can say is… the Weavers didn’t win. Thank goodness. People put Christianity back 200 years and homeschooling back 30.
I loved the finale! I wish the whole race had been as wonderful. Excellent recap!
Loved the recap especially “Another Christian!! In Quebec of all places too!!! It’s a Christmas Miracle!”
The series was tedious, but the finale was worth it.
B-Side, I couldn’t agree more. Edge of my seat exciting. I have to admit I’ve softened my stance on the Weavers a tad, probably because they didn’t win. I feel so bad for Rolly, he’s so young and the gals in his life are so lame. When he was climbing the mast (?) Linda let out the most nonplussed “Go Rolly, Go Rolly” she might has well have told him to fuck off. What’s up with quitting looking for the plane ticket? Is that allowed? Did they all have to stick together and look in the same place at the same time? It seemed like it. Splitting up or letting your exhausted mother sleep seems reasonable.
The enormous speedboat looked like the most exciting ride in the land! Partybike be damned. Weren’t the extra people AR and boat crew?
Did you notice DJ Paolo with tears in his eyes? Sweet demon Carrissa? It was too much.
Hooray Linz’s, with your fun songs and sibling love.
So where did the Weavers get the jackets since they were “stripped of all of their belongings” not too long ago? I wanted to see them in their t-shirts and hot pants in chilly Canada…oh well… Anyways…happy that ANYONE won over the Weavers. And I was also happy to see the Bransons win (yet another) vehicle on the cbs.com site.
)
aww, the next morning on the CBS morning show, the linz’s showed how awesome they are.
when asked what they are dong with the money they said “50% is going straight to mom and dad and the remaining 50% is to be evenly divided among all 7 of us siblings”
you cant hope but to have kids with such respectful and well reasoned intentions!
THEY ARE THE BEST/hottest indeed.
I am so happy TAR is over and even happier the Weavers did not win. Oh LQ – you are a great person being softened by the Weavers in the end. NOT ME! I felt no compassion for them – although I did feel a tinge of lightheartedness when Carissa hugged Alex, DJ wiped a tear away …… sniff, sniff. Congrats to the Linzes & the Bransens – job well done!
I must add, the previews for the next AR looked FANTASTIC!!! Did you see all the exotic lands, people??? Can’t wait to get back to the old format.
I’ve been checking tvgasm practically every hour since this episode for one reason only — the golf cart stand off (or stade off) between the Weavers and Linzes.
Someone said something like “Thunder thighs can’t scoot over any more.” I’m sure it was one of the Weavers and that it was directed at Meg (who was stony-faced during the next task), but others seem to think there’s some uncertainty.
Please, this needs to be cleared up! My hatred of the Weavers needs to be unsullied by uncertaintly. Did they or did they not call Meg thunder thighs? My high-horse awaits…
The Linz family was great. They got along with each other and had a positive attitude about everything. The one brother who wanted to move to Canada to do curling–I loved that. It was such a tense contest between the two teams at the end. A real nail-biter. I cried when they crossed the finish line. Thanks TAR!
The jigsaw puzzle at the end was one of those “edge of your seat” moments.
Great finish to the show.
The finale was great and made up for a lackluster season. I literally groaned when I saw the giant puzzles, but it sucked me in as the two families battled it out. But damn those editors for making me have any good feelings for the Weavers at the end after hating them the entire season.
I half-assed it through this season. But I know enough to know that putting those horrid Weavers on a “Real” AR would be priceless. Imagine them in any country where English isn’t spoken by 90% of the population and horrors – no one is Christian? They should make a show solely about that.
Glad you caught the random folks in the back of the Linz boat. That fascinated me.
The CN tower is not, “The tallest building in the world,” Phil. I guess the fact checkers got lazy this edition too.
Geographical ignorance is epidemic. Oh how I’d have loved to have watched a Weaver struggle with the final puzzle. Again, that could have filled an hour for me.
WalDER is totally me in the future.
The Linz’s weren’t familiar with Olympic Stadium. That’s just weird to me, and I hate baseball.
Nothing better than those idiots trying their reality TV french accents… in TORONTO.
Thank goodness this mess is over. Now please, CBS, no more of this gimmicky crap. Thanks.
Anyone do a “Ted” count? A great episode, but that bit was like nails on a chalkboard.
Fun to see Toronto and Montreal, lived in ‘em both, though not especially exciting. That mix-up with the McGill Arena, you’d think one team might’ve noticed when the clue said “now drive 22 miles” and they only went a few blocks. OK, not the Weavers obviously. Loved the Linzes enthusiasm though! And that lame Bata shoe museum bit was very much the low-rent version of the Venetian masquerade ball. Dozens of dazed women wandering a shoe museum chanting “this is not my shoe” – who even came up with that.
But not-the-Weavers won, and that’s all that counts.
sg-dub, Cn Tower is the tallest free-standing structure; building is just easier to say, I guess.
Does anyone know if the 2nd place team gets any money like Survivor, I really hope the Bransens get like 100k and the Weavers burn in hell.
Great recap B-Side. “rhymes with Chesus” = classic.
I thought Tommy Linz called the weaver girl thunder thighs in the golf cart stand-off
Izzy i (and the rest of my family) was sure it was Megan who said it to the Weavers. Anyways i thought it was great, one of the better endings to a season of the amazing race. What i didnt like was how it said next season they were only going to 5 continents! I want them to go back to Australia!! haha damn CBS, they must think Australia stinks or something
I was glad the Weavers didnt win, but i would have liked to see them try the puzzle. That could have been the funniest part of the whole show
Once again, excellent recap B-Side. I look forward to these as much as I do the show. I agree with you and was definitely surprised how exciting this last episode was. They were so boring up until now and with the biblethumping Weavers in first place for the beginning of the show I thought that maybe I should start believing in God and pray that they lose. Man how I hate those hypocrites…so glad they came in 3rd…and happier the Linzes won, they were awesome.
I agree lizardqueen, poor Rolly. He’s an idiot by proximity default, not really his fault.
By the way, Who Dey was the chant the crowd would yell during the 1988 run to the superbowl…”Who Dey, Who Dey think gonna beat dem Bengals?!!?” Who Dey is also the name of their mascot. Hey Milkshake, sorry dem Bengals put a damper on your playoff run…oh wait, no I’m not. They need a few more losses so my Chargers get in.
B-Side, thanks for your great recaps!
I read every single one of them,its actually added more fun to the show.
I personally enjoyed myself through out the 2 hours,esp when they were solving the puzzle.
A real heart-pounding moment!
And the Linzes won, I cant be happier =)
niagAra, please! and i’ve been on those whirlpool jetboats. sooo much fun.
I always look forward to your recaps, B-Side. They are so funny and it always makes me laugh whenever you mention Marion’s neck kerchief. I’m so glad the Linzes won!
Are sad this season is finally over? YOU WILL BE!!! Honestly though, since Ma Weaver was nearly run over by the buggy in the first episode, I have been rooting for them. I feel bad for them being hated on so much. They really had good family values and I commend them for getting so far. P.S. I don’t think Rolly was “patronizing” that CN tower guy. I think he was just trying to make conversation. Give the 14 year old a break. He’s much more mature than any other 14 year old boys I’ve met.
I’m glad the Linz’s won too! The trapeze moment had me worried, but they pulled it off in the end. I was also suprised that one of the Linz boys (I don’t remember which one) was the only one to KNOW what the CN Tower was. It was right there looming over them for chrissakes! Now I want to ride in one of those powerboats too. Maybe they needed the people in the back to distribute the weight evenly so the ride would be smoother?
Thanks for the HI-larious recaps B-side. I’m looking forward to the new season with the old format.
“I thought Tommy Linz called the weaver girl thunder thighs in the golf cart stand-off” – Nikita
“Izzy i (and the rest of my family) was sure it was Megan who said it to the Weavers” – piCARSO
Clearly, this matter is far from settled. I replayed it a few times and am sure it was a woman’s voice. My first impression was that it was one of the Weavers and I just can’t imagine Meg Linz saying it — I need a definitive answer. The thunder thighs accusation is not to be taken lightly.
I haven’t read the recap yet and skimmed through the comments. But I jumped on here as soon as I saw it to say that I would give anything to see the Weaver’s at the big geography puzzle. They didn’t show it because I can guaran-freakin-tee you they didn’t even attempt it.
I can hear it now, “Mommy, no! We can’t! Not the map with all the colors on it! I don’t even know what that is!”
THEY SUCK!!! And then to have to go back to the map for a second chance bonus prize. CLASSIC! I bet my left leg that wasn’t even close either. Priceless!
Was it just me, I thought the Weaver women were all hot for Ted. I couldn’t get over the way they were gushing. I couldn’t believe how intense a jigsaw puzzle could be. I felt a little letdown that we didn’t get to see the Weaver’s try to put it together course we’d probably still be watching it.
I cannot wait until the next season starts and will be right here waiting for your recaps B-Side.
Randall is a jerk.
you’re hilarious.
i seriously love you.
when i watch AR with my friends everyweek i steal your jokes and all my friends think i made them up, but they’re all you. haha
are you sorry i stole your jokes???
you will be!!
“Cirque du So-Lame” nearly did me in. So very funny. Very nice recap, with only one gripe. I actually became temporarily blind after looking at that picture of Celine Dion. Sheesh, you should post a warning or something. She scares me. Thanks for the laughs!!
I believe Canada is now Celine Dion-free. Wish I could say the same for Vegas.
Notes to Linda: 1) If you’d seriously read just about any religious text in the world, you’d know that the left is the non-God route — you don’t sit on the left hand of The Father, and Hindus reserve the left hand for wiping their asses. Plus, “sinister” (Oooo! Creepy and Godless!) just means ‘on the left,” like the route you chose.
2) Speaking of fathers: Your husband didn’t die, he lost his will to live after waking up next to you too many mornings.
3) One more note: You can also make foreigners understand English by speaking it very loudly or with an accent. Try it! I guarantee it will be as successful as your efforts to date.
Congratulations, Linzes. And thank you for teaching the Weavers a lesson, though I doubt if it soaked in.
Who Dey is the Cincinnati Bengals’ mascot!
http://www.bengals.com/fans/whodey.asp
They had a final challenge for a GMC whatever-it’s-called. Bransens v. Weavers.
http://www.cbs.com/gmc
as much as it pained me to root for someone from cincinnati, i too am glad the linzes won. i hope they use some of the money to buy tommy his own private short-bus.
jenny10girl (#6)- i could tell if you were being sarcastic, but canada’s pretty damn hot in the summer. although i agree seeing the Greavers suffer in their hotpants woudl’ve been fun, it wouldn’t happen in toronto in july, just ask sweaty walDER.
one of my favourite parts (other than the linzes raving about canadian girls… oh how i blush) was rolly carrying hot-pants on his SHOLDERS? does he have the strength of a thousand men?? i was shocked, and impressed!
another shocking sight was carissa jumping into the arms of one of the Greaver daughters… the young can be so naive.
I realized why they didn’t show the Greavers after the boat ride, they didn’t wanna show the after-effects of the water on the wicked witch of the west. i’m melting….
Someone said something like “Thunder thighs can’t scoot over any more.” I’m sure it was one of the Weavers and that it was directed at Meg (who was stony-faced during the next task), but others seem to think there’s some uncertainty.
I’m pretty sure it was the Tommy that said this. Classic and true. Weaver sisters need to wear bigger shorts. Damn.
Notice how when the Waevers finish, there isn’t as much cheering and hugging with the other teams?
ya, i noticed the golf clap. I thought I saw a few people not clapping either… but i’m not sure.
I love the Weavers!!
At the end I got all choked up by the sweetness of the Linz and Branson families and had a few small tears in my eye but I was at a friend’s house who didn’t appreciate all that is TAR, so when they looked at me all choked up – I saw the look of pity, at a fool choking up over a tv show. Thankfully the Weaver’s showed up – tears went away, sentimentality went out the window and my dignity was restored. Who dat cryin at dis dumb show?
One more reason to LOVE THE LINZs:
http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20051214/ENT/312140020
They are good kids and there are 3 more boys at home!
Would the Weaver’s even tithe their winnings??
Thanks B-Side for a great season of recaps.
As soon as I saw Marion’s neck kerchief at the finish line I knew you would honor it with a mention.
I agree the Weavers doing the puzzle would have made a good episode even better.
I’m glad the Linz family won. Especially after hearing about how they were dividing the money.
Wow, after reading that article, I like the Linzes even more. They’re the bestest!
I didn’t like the Linz’s at all. They were not funny, just juvenile. And they were just annoying that they couldn’t be bigger than the Weavers. It was Bransens all the way for me.
Dear hollyterror
I like many did not like the Weavers and found them annoying, rude and hypocritical. But I am not about to go so far as to say that their father and husband lost his will to live because he woke up next to her. He obviously loved his wife and his children dearly and you have no right to say otherwise.
I do like to come on and read some light hearted Weaver-bashing, but what you said went way too far. You are an asshole and you are no better than the dirt under my shoe. I hope you realize what you said was wrong and that it doesn’t take losing someone tragically for you to realize it.
I think it was definitely Meg Linz saying that the “thunder thighs” of the Weavers couldn’t move over anymore! The Linz family asked them to scoot over, they replied that they did, and then Meg said that comment. I thought it seemed pretty clear, and definitely a female voice.
I’m a relative new comer to Amazing Race Fandom. I saw the Linzes on a show one week and enjoyed the way they ran the race, so I started tuning in. I’m from Ohio as well so that made me an even bigger fan of the Linz family.
I’ve really enjoyed your entries(the humor is a great touch, and it helps me find out what happened on earlier episodes I missed. I’m hoping this season comes to DVD so I can actually watch all the shows.
Yay B-Side!I’ve been waiting for this recap…YOU DO NOT DISAPPOINT!
And when I saw Marion, I knew she’d get a shout out–can you imagine the tears of joy if the Paolo’s won? I want to see Marion on the jetboats…*sigh* I heart Marion.
And as naughty as it made me feel, I laughed outloud at, “rhymes with Chesus”.
At last — someone agrees with me. From Jam! TV in Canada:
Here’s the link:
http://jam.canoe.ca/Television/TV_Shows/A/Amazing_Race_8/2005/12/14/1352486.html
Somehow, though, it’s not as important anymore as I, like John in the comment above, ponder what a jerk Randal is…
I’m surprised that nobody has mentioned the obvious.
Big Geography puzzle = Guarantee that the Weavers can’t win TAR: Family Edition.
I’m glad the producers stuck that thing at the end of the race. Yes, it would have been fun to watch the Weavers look for the Philadelphia State puzzle piece. But there is no way in hell that those four educationally deficient family members would have finished that before one of the other two teams (if they were in the lead).
After watching the GM challenge on the CBS website, there is a quick glimpse, but its obvious that the Weavers didn’t even attempt the puzzle.
Someone above mentioned that they would like to see the Weavers in a foreign non-Christian land. It’s been done before (Brandon and Nicole). And dare I say, tastefully (never thought that I would). I wouldn’t mind watching the Gagin parents and Paolo’s (Mom and DJ) in a real TAR.
Good riddance to the Weavers.
Let’s get on with TAR!!! (February 28th??)
Baba Booey to the Linzes.
Tata Toothey to the Grievers.
Black family, we hardly knew ya.
I know its not about the amazing race, but Randal is an a$$. I had to voice it somewhere…
mellymel. Why should he share the spotlight? White folks always bringing a bro down.
That was a joke for all you Sirius heads!!
Oh No. I’ve been labeled a malicious abusive user! Whateva happened to free speech TVGasm?
Stacie #43 – Lighten up Sue Hawk
I loved the finale – I laughed, I cried, I ogled Phil’s package…..
The Linz family was so awesome because they just had such a great attitude – everything they did, they talked about much fun it was and how beautiful the scenery was and how great it was to be there, down to the giant office chair.
The Weavers whined and complained and hated on everything.
Long Live Uncle Bone!!
Unlike most, I loved this season, although I prefer the standard two-person TAR. The ending was so exciting and emotional–just the way we likes it, yes?
Shame on Randal; I used to love him so . . .
FHEW!!!!
But mellymel, he is the nicest guy everrr!
Why the hell did their clue say “Tour CN”? Was that just to confuse them as to thinking all of Canada was French-speaking? I thought that was incredibly lame.
And YES, sg-dub, the CN tower IS the tallest free-standing structure in the world.
Are you all kidding me? I would have been so PO’d if Randal said to give Rebecca a job too…. ridiculous! Let’s get an Apprentice recap so we can really talk about this.
I hope the Weavers’ preacher has some strong words for them when they return to church.
I loved the final episode–it made me glad that I had stuck through this season. It was worth it in the end, but I hope they never do this family thing again. So much of the fun of TAR is watching the teams deal with the culture shock of being in a completely foreign environment. Also, I hate small children.
My only disappointment? I REALLY wanted to see the Weavers working on that geography puzzle. Now THAT would have made the finale the best. show. ever.
homeskooled (#39), thanks for posting that great article.
Personally, I loved the little head slap at the end after the “Who Dey” chant and the comment of them winning the million dollars.
It made the Colts fan in me laugh. Oops, sorry, I thought we were making some football references here.
(Ducking and running now.)
When the Weavers and Bransens did their post-Race challenge for the vehicle, they used the puzzle maps. In the background, you can see the 3rd map not put together, so the Weavers never did the puzzle. I’m sure that’s because the producers didn’t want all the other teams to have to stand around at the final mat all night waiting for them.
I agree with those who think Megan directed the thunder thighs comment at the Weaver women. The Linzes were asking the Weavers to move over, not the other way around, so it makes the most sense for the comment to have been directed at the Weavers.
I have a feeling no matter how many times you decided to throw “YOU WILL BE!� in the write-up I would laugh. I can hear Linda’s shrill voice every time!
And curling is surprisingly pretty fun, I fought it until we hit the ice but it turned out okay. Some things you just have to try when you live in a winter Olympic city.
Little did nice little cabby Ted know that while he was being kind and helping a team several million people were yelling at him through their TVs.
Thanks for the hilarious recap!
Maybe on this new season of AR, we’ll have some real, decent Christians who treat people they way Christians should. And not brag or isolate themselves over it.
Great recap – I too kept checking in waiting for this to appear!
Now, about the finale of Apprentice….
Thank you to Stacie, ANTF, happy_gal—If a certain “other” poster had made those comments he would have been villified on this very site.
Just an FYI, the Bransens won the challenge that you can watch on the internet, so thank Chesus, the Weavers won NUTHIN’!
It was for sure one of the Weaver girls that referred to Megan Linz as Thunder Theighs. Hence the rage in her when they got back to the arena when she was talking to the Branson clan about how they needed to beat the Weavers. You can also see the look on her face right after it was said. She just sat there with her arms crossed. If it was said to the Weavers, they would have been more pissed about that, then the Rolly-Polly comment.
OK – is is my imagination or is Marcia Wallace (the Bob Newhart Show) related to Celine Dion??????
http://www.harrywalker.com
Even though I swore that I wouldn’t reward the programming idiots at CBS by watching any more of this season …. I hate to say it but my girlfriend got me to watch the last several episodes of this season. She told me about the Linz family (thank god they won) and the Weaver family (third place was far too high a finish for them.)
About the Weavers – I was truly astounded at just how awful, mean-spirited, and ignorant these self-proclaimed “good guys” were. Definitely reminded me of the “Friendship” (Gag) from Big Brother 6. If your so damn good and likable, then how come nobody likes you? It’s like somebody telling you that they are cool – If you have to say it about yourself, then it ain’t true.
I may be wrong, but in one of the first episodes (before I grew to loath this stupid gimmick of a season) didn’t they reveal that the Weaver’s father was run over at a Nascar event where he was working as pit crew despite being deaf. Probably not the best environment to be working in if you can’t even hear an 800 horsepower car bearing down on you. If that was true, it appears the intelligence apple didn’t fall far from the tree regarding his kids. If those self righteous a-holes thought that Utah was ugly (WTF?) I really think the producers should have made them spend a night waiting for something to open in the slums of Calcutta or Bombay. CBS missed a great opportunity to teach them a thing or two about true suffering and need (a lesson they could sorely use).
Glad it’s over. Doesn’t sound like I missed too much. Glad that the Linz family won and even gladder that the Weaver family didn’t.
Looking forward to the real Amazing Race next year.
Later
I just read that article and MAN it just makes me love the Linz’s even more.
“Question: Was it true you helped the Paolo family from New York win the Nov. 1 episode taped in Costa Rica?
Alex: Her son was yelling at her to hurry up. She was really wheezing and gasping very bad. We let her know that knew we couldn’t win. We just kind of walked her up to the mat. We told her, “Don’t push yourself. You’re going to win this one.â€? Second for us was OK. It meant we were still in the race.”
That is just so awesome and SO sweet.
I’m SO glad the team I was cheering for finally won. FINALLY the right team won!!
Next season… I gotta cheer for the Nerds!! NEEERRDDSS!! I need to cheer for my own kind… lol
a few things:
a) It was definately Meg Linz who made the thunder thighs comment (i know that many of you think that the linz’s are infallible and everything, but they can be mean too)
b) randall’s the biggest surprise a$$ of the season – rebecca totally deserved that job
thanks for the awesome post, heard linda’s voice every time that quote came up!! oh man, laughed my a$$ off every time = weird looks from ppl around me @ school. i think i might be the only one who was perfectly content with any one of the three teams winning this season. (as long as it wasnt the GAAAAAAADlewski’s)
:):) see ya’ll next season
Stacie (#43): I have every “right to say otherwise,” and from what evidence do you conclude that he “obviously loved his wife and children dearly”?
No one else seems to like them very much, so from a statistical standpoint, the odds are that he didn’t either.
B-Side: No worries.
“Professional” reviewers never know WTH they’re talking about (ew.com) and that Defamer dude seems SO unnecssarily bitter, I just laughed.
One thing I love about you Gasmer cappers is that, even if the entire season has sucked, you still approach each ep. as if maybe this one won’t suck. And hey, it worked out for once!
Go Linzes
They came here !!! Yeah!!!
McGill arena is really called McDonald College Rink, I have NEVER rolled logs, the Underground City is really called Place Ville Marie, The US pavillon burned a few years back, only the shell remains and the Stade is a dump…
Come one, come all for a visit!!
About “thunder thighs”, I agree with Lisa (#69), I watched that bit a couple of times, and I’m almost positive that one of the Weavers said it.
I loved the idea that curling and log rolling were popular sports in Canada. I’ve curled once (and loved it), and never have I ever log rolled, let alone know anyone who has.
So glad the Linzes won!
Now My darling Nick Linz is not only cute, and funny and sexy, HE’S RICH!!! What a catch.
Glad they won…
B-Side = BEST recapper!
I was very happy to see the Linzes win it all. Unfortunately, even the producers revealed that they were ignorant about Canada. Log rolling is not a popular sport in Canada. Hell, we’re running out of logs because the Yanks are pilfering them from under our noses.
I lauged my ass off when the Weaver girls worried about getting cold once in Canada, despite being in MONTANA, which is actually further north than the parts of Canada that they visited. Stupid freaking dumbasses.
I am almost 100% sure the infamous ‘thunder thighs’ comment was made by a Weaver. Whoever pointed out that had a Linz uttered it the Weavers would have gone more nuts than they did over Rolly-Poly is absolutely right. You just know they would have bitched and bitched and bitched. I experienced great schadenfreude when the Weaver girls were pissing and moaning about the “stupid” challenge. Notice that throughout the race, anything that allowed another team to catch them was automatically stupid?
One other thing, what a bunch of pussies those Weaver women are, constantly “letting” Rolly do all the Roadblocks. Bitches.
Slight correction to B-Side: the ship they sailed to was the Kajama, not the Kajaba.
Thanks for the recaps. I’ve been checking the intarnets far too often since Tuesday night in hopes of reading this one.
PS. Add me to those who were deliriously hoping to see the Weavers attempt the puzzle.
I SO wanted the Weavers to have to do the puzzle. They might still be there. I was disappointed in the entre season (climb the giant chair???), then was getting into the last episode. When I saw the puzzle I came out of my seat in anticipation of the Weavers making Rolly find the piece for Lake Ponchatrain and put it with the Great Lakes. What a letdown. I was crushed.
Can everyone please watch out about giving away spoilers on other shows? We have TIVO but haven’t been able to watch “Apprentice” yet because of extra long hours at work kicking our butts, etc…we’re watching tonight when we get home from work.
Thanks.
On to TAR! Great recap, B-side. Although you scared the hell of out me with that Celine Dion picture. shudder, shudder
You can thank me that the Weavers lost. Yes. I prayed fervantly to God; I said, “God; you let them win, and you and I are QUITS! You hear me?!”
Guess he listened. Praise the Lord!
When the teams read the clue telling them to fly to Montreal, I screamed at my tv ‘How dare you choose this shitty season of TAR to finally stop in MY town!!’ But I was so happy the episode ended up being fun. GREAT RECAP B-SIDE, even though you grossed me out with that pic of Celine Dion. *shivers* but you made up for it with some PhilPackage.
Geography Map + Weaver family = certain loss.
YAY Linzes!!
Apprentice recap needed stat!
Great recap — can’t wait for the NON-family Amazing Race to come back, though.
…Phil woody? Haha! Nice.
Amber – I got news for ya. Once an episode has aired from coast to coast, it’s no longer a spoiler. Besides, the Apprentice finale was live. We aren’t going to wait until you get a chance to watch it before snarking about it.
I agree with everyone that I would have given anything to see the Weavers try that map. I can just picture them now trying to fit Alaska in central America or making up names for states.
You missed when Rolly (who I think has turned out pretty well adjusted for growing up in that family….there’s still hope for him!) was doing the roadblock and asked if the guy was a professional. I SO wanted them to say “no, sorry, he’s from Amazing Race Australia!” or something like that just to freak him out.
Also, when the Weavers were in Ted’s cab they kept saying “Mercy! Mercy!” even after he spoke perfect english to them. Really it was just their way of showing that the can totally ruin any language.
I am so glad that the Linzes won. They seemed like they had the most fun and were just going along with the ride. No drama with them, just all sorts of craziness.
“Later, the teams gathered to eat a hearty lunch, and as usual, the Weavers separated themselves from the pack by sitting alone at an empty table. Too bad, really. You just know Linda was dying to join in once the Bransens and Linzes started making “Last supper” and “Judas” jokes.”
-Too funny, I was thinking the same thing!
I had a dream last night that I bumped into the Weavers on the streets of Manhattan and they asked for directions and I just yelled at them “Why don’t you just ask Jesus to lead you? Aren’t you tight with him?!” and walked away.
Finally an exciting episode of TARFE. I was actually so engrossed in the episode that for the first time all season I didn’t notice Phil’s package. Thanks for the screen shot! I needed something to clear the horror that is Celine from my mind.
The Weavers didn’t build the final puzzle. The race was over and they needed to do the car challenge before the cows came home (or the Weavers figured out they were looking at North America, let alone trying to put the pieces in place!). The clip on cbs.com of the Weavers and Bransens battling for the car is classic. Apparently in WeaverWorld Mexico is Costa Rica. The best moment — Rolly calls skunkhead “asswipe”; I’m still looking for the biblical reference for that quote.
more Linz Love
http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20051215/ENT/512150383/1086/life
After taxes their take is approx. $600,000 split 50/50 with their parents – and then 50/50 among the 6 kids – they bring home about $43K each for running the race.
and we learn Tommy “Bone” is named for his bald head as a kid
split among 7 kids I mean – 6 boys and Megan.
sorry, I flunked math twice
I just wanted to add the debate that I believe the one of the Linzes said thunder thighs to the weavers and I thought I saw meagan cracking up after they said that.
There is a God, and the Linz win proves it! Splitting the $$ with the whole family… awwwww…
An actual race to the finish, surprisingly exciting! I wish they’d made the Grievers (did you know their dad died?) flail about failing to do the puzzle and then arriving after Phil and the other teams were long gone. That would have rocked! The golf clap they got from everyone was pretty good though. Quite a contrast to how everyone liked the Linzes and Bransens. Wally did old farts proud, didn’t he?
Rolly might be a good person if he could be taken away from his family and raised by real Christians with a decent education. I wish they’d had to mix up who did the roadblocks; hilarity would have ensued.
Can’t wait for the REAL Race to come back! Overseas, w00t!
Thanks for keeping us going through this lackluster season, B-Side. You brought the funny and the awesome screencaps to us when we despaired.
i think it was rolly who made the thunder thighs comment!
its kind of a highish voice, megans mouth isn’t moving
I would like to just say one thing…YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY A TEAM THAT I’VE BEEN ROOTING FOR WON!!! This whole reality tv season has been a disappointment, and I am glad that SOMEBODY good finally won!! Does anyone know when this was filmed? If it was in summer, then sadly, the Weaver girls wouldn’t have had to put some real pants on. Winter is a different story..however, in Alberta the weather has been surprisingly nice so you never know..those girls may have just worn shorts. I knew that they were going to come to Canada. They really should do an Amazing Race: Canada, since most Americans (not all) don’t know the finer details of Canada, like the history and what not. It would make for a VERY interesting season. I don’t really understand why they picked Toronto though. Probably because it’s closer. I mean, it’s a nice city, but it would have been amusing to see a farm challenge in Saskatchewan or something. I really enjoyed the Montreal part though. All of the families had heinous pronunciation of French words, and being bilingual, I was thoroughly amused hearing the French language being slaughtered so nicely. I was laughing so hard, I actually spit out my popcorn when I heard Rolly say “El fasto.” I was rather disappointed that Phil didn’t attempt some French though. That would have made some good television. The ending was really odd too. I would have loved to see the Weavers attempt that map, but alas, it was not so. At the end I was surprised that people were clapping for them. They were just being polite I guess, something the Weavers dearly need lessons in. I was shocked that the Weavers let everyone else get so close to them. You would have thought that their unGodliness wouldn’t sit well with the Weavers. They probably just did it to look good on camera. I bet you that after that, they all went home and scrubbed as hard as they could. I’ll admit though, that Rolly tugged on my heartstrings a little bit at the stadium when his sisters were being such spoil-sports. Let’s hope that their dunderheadedness doesn’t rub off (anymore) on him.
Au revoir,
Georgia
the comment about phil’s package…classic.
Loved the recap B-side, Hilarious!!!
Way to go Linz family, it’s great to see a local team win!!! I’m from Cincinnati (actually Anderson Township same as the Linz’s) We are all so proud of them here!!!
Speaking of the “Oh so Christian Weavers” The Linz’s are right there with you, all 7 kids went to private catholic schools, just shows you don’t have to flaunt it!!! I was on the edge of my seat for the puzzle too, I almost couldn’t watch! Way to come back CBS!!!
“Oh LQ – you are a great person being softened by the Weavers in the end. NOT ME! I felt no compassion for them..”
You didn’t feel any compassion…YOU WILL BE (feeling compassion..?) ok, that didn’t work…sorry.
I went out of town last week and was late watching the finale and just now had a chance to post here, and found everyone has said everything I wanted to say. Oh well, GO LINZES!
I am a cab driver and a friend of TED’s , and I was at the airport in Montreal when the families came out.I am a big TAR fan and was shocked and very jealous when I saw my friend TED driving off with the Weavers . I was calling TED often to find out where they were going so I pretty much knew the locations . When the season started I was cheering for the Weavers but after a few episodes I realized they suck !!! congrats to the Linz family . (by the way , I was on screen for 2 seconds when the Linz family was outside the airport and looking for a cab. I was in the background but I know it was me because I WAS THERE !!
#96 Hmmmmm – Nope – don’t think so!!! (You’re funny!)
The Weavers finally see a Great Lake and no comment! I loved it when one of the Weaver kids asked how you say ‘where is’ in Toronto. If you need a map to find the CN tower you truly are useless. And how stupid are the Weavers when they see the Linz’s and the Bransens pointing at the marker from the CN tower? Would it not have made sense to follow the other teams rather than continuing to search the skyline? They could have at least looked in the direction that everyone was pointing to. I guess they wanted to stay up in the tower, close to Jesus.
The Weaver’s tour of Olympic Stadium, attempting to find an open door, was priceless as well. When they couldn’t find the opening, one of them said, “maybe we have to go up”. I would have loved to see them try to drive the cart up a wall. I assume that Linda Weaver uses Roadrunner cartoons for her homeschooling physics class. I too wish they would have shown the Weavers at least attempting the map. I am curious if they would have been able to find Florida!
Are the Weavers sure the father is dead? He may be stuck under the car, like Mother Weaver in Amish country? Or maybe realizing how useless his family is, he came up with his own “I’m going out for a pack of smokes” scenario and just left?
I also wonder if the Weavers chose ‘curling’ because they thought it was a chance to visit a hair salon?
I was SO happy when the Linzes won (and the Weavers didn’t)!!! And i live in Toronto so i thought that was cool when they came here. LMAO i thought that was funny when the detour required the teams to take part in two of Canada’s favourite activities, curling or lumberjacking(?), as if everyone in Canada rolls logs for fun. Ahhh such a funny stereotype.
I finally figured it out. Even CBS didn’t want the Grievers to win! Knowing they were so AWFUL at geography and all things maplike (Yes, Weavers, there IS a Utah), the final challenge was putting together a map. Rumors are still going around that the Grievers didn’t even attempt the map…
dear santa, all i want for xmas is a linz boy.