Kit asks the most anti-climatic question ever regarding their baby, “Am I crazy or does he look like me?” Really? Can’t it be both? I’m pretty sure you’re crazy, and not just because you’re in a mental institution. Even if you didn’t murder your wife in cold blood, you have few, if any, questions regarding her abduction by aliens, or the subsequent abduction of your baby mama. So, yes, you are crazy, and your baby looks like you. Sometimes you can have your cake and eat it too.
Kit has questions about Alma’s abduction and Grace is sad to inform him that she was no longer alive. Grace says the aliens are not like us, as they are peaceful. Save for that flashback of the aliens trying to shove a fully developed infant back into her vagina. I’ve never had a vagina before, but I imagine having a baby shoved up there isn’t pleasant or peaceful, like trying to park a big rig in a carport.
File this photo under “peaceful” and “serenity”, Websters.
Kit wonders how their baby grew so fast, as her abduction lasted only a matter of weeks. Grace informs him that time moves differently up there, and it seemed like a hundred years to her. One hundred years in a maternity ward? There isn’t a health insurance plan on God’s green earth that covers anything more than a few days. Plus, she received some sort of weird spa treatment in a bath when she was up there. This medical bill is going to be astronomical.
Grace and Kit’s time spent with their baby is short-lived, though, as a nun shows up to take Thomas to an orphanage. Apparently, an axe murderer and alleged serial killer aren’t ideal parents. Still, they’re a straight couple. Imagine the horror if a couple like Lana and Wendy adopted Thomas. They might raise a well adjusted kid and Briarcliff would go out of business. The Catholic Church has a business plan, ladies and gentleman, and it’s to make sure there is always someone to lock up.
Relinquish your child to the Catholic Church- we’re great with children!
Jude’s one moment of clarity last week pays off in a huge way, as Mother Claudia tracks down Lana in the kitchen and informs her that she is getting her out of Briarcliff. Her clothes that she arrived in are waiting in the restroom next door. Hear that Lana? Your sensible and fashionable 1964 lesbian pants suit is waiting next door. Lucky you.
Lana agrees to leave, but only under one condition. Apparently, Lana is calling the shots and will look this gift horse in the mouth. Literally, Mother Claudia looks like a horse, bearing gifts. Lana says she’ll leave if she gets to take Thredson’s taped confession, which she has hidden in the flour in the kitchen. She dons her fashionable 1964 Sapphic and sporty suit and struts right past Thredson, who is arguing with Kit on the staircase by the entry way.