American Idol: …Rockin’ and a Reelin’

Recaps

By IceQueen | Monday, April 11, 2011 | 2:00 pm | 37 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: American Idol, Featured, Recaps

As this season on Idol progresses, the opening graphics get more and more dramatic, constantly reminding us that there can be only ONE idol. Just in case we forgot. This ain’t Americans Idol, people. Just one.

group2 smallEight of ya’ll are gonna have to go.

For the elimination episode, the judges are dressed like a genie in a bottle (JHo), a teenage Austin Powers (Randy), and a conjurer (Steven). Unfortunately, Christian Slater was unable to make an appearance. I guess he had better things to do. Perhaps taking his “Peaceful Nerf-ball of Truth” tour to Branson.

The contestants kick us off with a rock medley, starting with “I Love Rock and Roll,” continuing with “The Letter” and ending with “Sweet Home Alabama.” The girls are dressed so bizarrely. Why is there so much cleavage and skin while the boys are wearing layers? Is it cold or hot there, because I’m confused.

The first guest visit of the night comes courtesy of Russell Brand, who shows up in a video package to coach the kids on their charisma. I’ve seen Brand in interviews and he’s a pretty charming guy, so I can see where he’d be useful at this. I’m sure it has nothing to do with him promoting his Easter Bunny movie. And can I just say, it’s about time someone in Hollywood besides Mel Gibson profited off of the holiday commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ? An Easter movie complete with built-in merchandising has been a long-time coming.

Anyway. Brand talks to the contestants about having confidence and encourages them to do crack in order to loosen up. He advises Lusky to take his top off, calls Casey a gorgeous hairball of wonder and tells them all to be limber and wear tight pants that will make them walk funny. He finishes his manic appearance with a “loosen up, take your clothes off, you’re fired… see yas!” before prancing off the stage.

Casey, Stefano and Lauren are called to the center of the stage. Tink reminds us that Casey sang “Have You Ever Seen the Rain” and plucked the hell out of an upright bass. He also reveals that Kelly Clarkson tweeted that she has a crush on Casey. Because nothing’s sexier than a man who drags his stuff around in garbage bags and refuses to shave. Well good for him. They can make some little round-cheeked, singing babies together. Although what about that girl he sang to a few weeks ago?? Uh-oh. Hopefully we’ll have some drama soon!

lauren casey fano

Stefano did “When a Man Loves a Woman.” While JHo loved it, Randy was more ambivalent. Although no one used the word ambivalent. That’s not in their word bank. The Idol word bank includes the following: pitchy, fun, love, like, nice, yes, beautiful, dawg.

Lauren sang “Natural Woman.” JHo thought it was nice but Randy thought it had been done better. Despite the ho-hum review, Lauren is safe and so is Casey. Stef’s in the bottom three.

Tink credits season four alum Constantine Maroulis with having played a big part in paving the way for rockers on Idol. Smirky McSmirkson decided to sing “Unchained Melody,” though, although he adds some rock flavor to it by screaming in a manner reminiscent of 80s hair bands. After he finishes smirking his way through the classic ballad, he towers over Tink and tells us we should check him out in Rock of Ages, on tour now, and also that he has a super adorable baby. Who would have thought a vampire with Kenny G’s hair could have such a cute little one?

fingerless gloves and a smiiirrrkFingerless gloves + a smirk = sex symbol?

The second surprise guest of the week was Gwen Stefani, who helped style the women for performance night. That explains an awful lot, because those were some crazy, only-in-Japan-or-Gwen-Stefani’s-mind type of outfits. Gwen looks very pretty, but I’m surprised that she seems so shy and mumbly. Amazing to think that she gets up on stage and bounces around. At the end of the video clip, she says “cuddles” and they all hug. It’s weird when grown women use baby talk around other grown women…

Tink says there’s no “sweet escape” from the elimination now (rimshot). Paul, Scotty and Pia are called to center stage. Paul happily sang “Fulsom Prison Blues” and the judges loved it. Gossip time: I read this week that Paul is “dating” the actress who plays Rosalie in the movies about the girl with the long face and the sparkly vampires with bad wigs. I’m dying to know how things like this happen and how these people have time to date. So if this Idol thing doesn’t work out for Paul, he can follow in Constantine’s footsteps and become a serial celebrity dater.

Pita did “River Deep Mountain High” and the judges thought it was amazing and that she’s in it to win it. Tink wonders if her confidence is high enough to be in this and she says definitely. I think the real question is, is her confidence high enough to be kicked to the curb?

Scotty sang “That’s Alright” and the judges thought it was flava-ful and the girls in the audience found it totally swoon-worthy. Scotty tells us that he used to get in trouble for doing his Elvis impersonation on the school bus. That’s such a… wholesome story. I won’t tell you what I got into trouble for on the school bus. It wasn’t nearly as adorable…

Scotty’s safe… Paul’s safe… Pia’s in the bottom three. The audience boos and the judges look pretty irritated. Hmmm… a surprising turn of events….

one pic lots of goofinessGoof overload

In the final video of the night, the contestants are taken to the 5th circle of hell, also known as the TMZ offices. As we go to the video, a number of people in the Idol audience boo, which is totally awesome. I really hate TMZ. It’s so vile and foul and adds nothing to the world except snark and stupidity. It’s fine for someone like me to do that. I  mean, I’m just one person. But when I start hiring people and televising that shit, it’s just a whole ‘nother level.

So the TMZ staff (don’t they always look so dirty? They always look so unclean. Even that one hot guy looks unwashed) has some advice for our contestants: use spit to fix your hair if you ever get arrested and have your mugshot taken. Other pearls of wisdom include: telling Lauren to stop falling down the stairs, cause assholes like them are just gonna play the video over and over again. They tell Scotty to quit making dumb faces because assholes like them and me will just keep using stills over and over again. They tell Pia that there are baby bibs out there with her name on them so she needs a lawyer to protect her name… from drool. They tell Stefano that he’s really boring on Twitter and advise him to start a tweetwar.

Ugh, I just checked out his Twitter feed and they’re right. First, his nickname is apparently “Fano” which is just lazy. Also, he calls people “boo” a lot. Is this a word that people are still using? “Boo.” Like “hay boo.” I feel like when the Real Housewives of Atlanta are using a word, young people should stop using that word. In fact, the rest of the country should just speak an entirely different language than the Housewives. “Who gon’ check me, boo?” Fano, that’s who.

fano twitterWow, Fano. Tell us more…

Back to the TMZ package… the staff ask the contestants who they’re dating and Casey shouts “your mom!” They also want to know if Tink wears platform shoes. Casey says yes.

Back live in the studio, Tink says he’s the same height but a quarter of the age of Harvey Levin, head demon of the TMZ goblins. Then he calls James, Haley and Lusky to the stage.

James sang “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” and the judges felt his emotion and vulnerability. Haley sang “Piece of My Heart” and the judges thought she came on strong and brought back the sound of 1968. Lusky sang the rock and roll classic “Man in the Mirror” and the judges loved the message he shared with the world — which if you recall was, if you vote me into the bottom three, it’s not because I suck, it’s because you suck, America.

James is safe and JHo’s hyperventilating eases a bit. Haley is safe, leaving Lusky in the bottom three. The judges look stunned, except for Steven. Sometimes, he gets this look on his face, and I think this is what he’s seeing in his head:

heavy_metal_movie

So… Lusky, Pia and Stefano are in the bottom three and Tink says you only have yourselves to blame, America. Then he brings out Iggy Pop to do “Wild One.” Question. Has anyone ever seen Iggy Pop with a shirt on? I probably have and just never recognized him. Anyway, he does that special Iggy Pop brand of dancing that looks like a four-year-old child snorted a line of Pixie Stix and then rocked out. The whole thing is a little on the sloppy side with weird camera work and the sound cutting in and out.

iggy pop

Enough of that. Let’s get to the big moment. Tink gathers everyone on stage and says that Lusky will be leaving us… and going back to the couches. I guess that hasn’t gotten old for Tink over the past 10 years, huh?

bottom threeLusky just wet his pants a little…

Stefano is safe… and that means that Pia is leaving. The audience goes nuts, booing and the judges are visibly upset. Tink asks JHo what happened, and she says she doesn’t know. She’s shocked and angry and she seems like she’s about to cry. Randy says Pia’s one of the best singers in the competition and that no one is safe, which is why you have to vote.Steven has a message for America: a mistake is one thing but lack of passion is unforgivable.

Pia’s goodbye video package starts off with her talking about how much her grandpa loved hearing her sing and knew her name was going to be in lights, which is just brutally sad. She closes the show by singing “I’ll Stand by You” and then the voice of Gwen Stefani saying “cuddles” wafted across the stage and cuddle everyone did. They cuddled while poor Pia sobbed and sobbed.

pia's end

So that was sad. But! It’s only been a couple of days and Pia has a record deal and she’s dating one of the dancers from Dancing With the Stars [though not Maksim, so it's hard to care] and come on, we knew that someone with beauty and talent and incredible cleavage would rise to the top.

Let’s talk about the voting. I have some theories about this. First off, only one person gets to win this thing, so just about everybody has to get voted off at some point. I think Pia’s exit was earlier than most people thought, but it was, more than likely, inevitable.

Secondly, the judges only have themselves to blame. Every week, they look into those cameras and tell America to vote for their favorites. They don’t say “vote for the best singer” or “vote for the most skilled individual;” and, as music experts, they certainly don’t offer guidance to the audience when they tell everyone “good job, it was beautiful.” Pia might have been the best singer in the competition, but that certainly doesn’t mean she was anyone’s favorite. While she seems likable, she certainly didn’t wow anyone with her personality or performance skills.

Finally, Jezebel.com has an interesting take on the theories that the women are being kicked off of Idol because most of the voters are teen girls, especially now that you can text your vote in. The writer at Jezebel is very dismissive of this theory, but I don’t think we can throw it out completely. The Jezebel article implies that, if teen girls are responsible for women being booted from Idol, it’s because of “backbiting.” If the theory’s right, though, I don’t think that’s true. I think people are just voting for who they like, and teen girls like cute boys, especially cute boys with deep voices, which is why Soctty McCreery ain’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Finally, let’s put some blame on the show producers, or whom ever’s responsible for showing us these little video vignettes and writing out the banter that Tink has with the contestants. Don’t all of the male contestants seem pretty interesting and cool (with the exception of Fano, who keeps ending up in the bottom three)? They’ve got a band. They wear fun clothes. Casey’s a jokester and Kelly Clarkson’s a fan. James has cool clothes made by his friends and he’s a huge wrestling fan who got a belt from the WWE. Paul’s cute and has fun hair and gets teased about his super white smile. What do we know about the girls? Lauren’s the most engaging, interesting one, and I really can’t say much about her. What we know about the girls is that they look good when they show off their skin, they have pretty makeup, and Ryan or Steven points it out when they look sexy.

When you have 50 million+ people voting, the problem isn’t the voters. I think everyone involved needs to step up their game and take responsibility. Blaming “America” is a cop out. The female contestants need to grow a pair and act like they’re having fun, the producers need to give the women something to do besides pick out clothes, and the judges need to stop treating the contestants like they’re babies and instead help ease them to one of the most difficult,degrading, life-wrecking industries we have: show business.

Next week is Songs From Movies week — see you then!

About

Icequeen is a nonprofit employee who spends her days trying to make the world a better place to make up for the things that she does at night. A former television producer and reporter, she is obsessed with TV and film and is saving up to make her next documentary. When she's not working, writing or watching TV, she enjoys boys, food and travel. Though she has lived all over the U.S., she currently resides in Washington, DC.

37 Comments

  1. 1
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    If memory serves me correctly, didn’t wasn’t Nikki Reid the actress who got all giddy over Paul at the Red Riding Hood premiere? I remember someone telling him she was a fan and him having no clue who she was. Because he’s a 27 year old man and really shouldn’t be able to identify the third lead from a “Twilight” movie, so good for him. But, clearly, it seemed to work out even better for him in the end.

  2. 2
    itchy
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 3:33 pm

    Ha ha, this whole voting controversy makes me laugh. Of course the girls are voting for Scotty (and their mothers are voting for Paul), and the rest of the crew are just picking up the scraps. I find it hard to believe that anyone would waste their time voting on this show, unless it’s a swarm of pre-teen girls and their 40ish moms. That I believe.

    All that said, I can see the girls voting for a girl they can relate to — definitely not Pia, who comes off too much as a Rockette. The show spends a lot more time developing the ‘personality’ of the guys though. There’s very little character development going on for the girls. Other than Lauren falling down the stairs. Fortunately for her, she’s got a bit of cushion there.

    The reason there were sound ‘problems’ with Iggy was because he was letting lose with the fucks and shits. He was great, especially when he toyed with Jlo like that. The look of digust on her face was confusing, considering her husband and all.

    The TMZ skit was not funny at all. Those people ought to feel ashamed of themselves.

    So who’s out this week? Lauren or Haley?

  3. 3
    jayem
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 3:42 pm

    I think I’ve said all I can say about the elimination, but your take on the voting is spot on, IceQueen. The guys are way more engaging than the girls and Pia’s performance skills were awful. Like the Gawker writer mentioned, the judges overpraise everyone and there’s no Simon-like criticisms for the audience to seriously consider when voting. Also, they neglected to counsel Pia about her terrible stage presence until it was much too late. I don’t think only teenage girls are voting though, or Casey and James would be gone. I’m sure most of the voters are women, gay guys and teenagers and that’s why the boys are doing so well. But the girls (except for Haley and Lauren) weren’t up to par. It was the wrong venue for Naima, Thia was tres boring, Ashthon picked the worst song ever, and Pia has a lack of stage presence. The boys are just better. Well, some of them anyway.

    BTW – The visual of Steven’s brain is priceless. Sometimes I think he isn’t even listening at all. Which makes me like him even more!

  4. 4
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    Iggy Pop creeps me out.

    And I won’t miss Pia. She bores me. There’s more to performing than just hitting the notes.

  5. 5
    whoochile
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 4:20 pm

    squat/stand/hand flap=pia. She has a great voice, but wowsa, too cruise shippy

  6. 6
    jersey4041
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    Yeah, she was boring but you have to have a listenable singer in there for the show to work. I think the voting assumptions are pretty accurate. People assume Pia is safe so they don’t vote for her. I’m just trying to figure out when weird looking or creepy became cute in this country. When I was 13, someone like Scotty or Casey would be NO WHERE near my list of crushes. No one is going to buy albums from them if they win and that’s what I feel bad about. All building these cheesy looking or scruffy kids give up does is hurt them when they put an album out and no one buys it.

    I said it a few weeks ago that this show just wasn’t working anymore and I think its clear now. Its a glorified popularity contest for teenagers. They get to decide what’s cool for the next 6 months and who they want to see in the press but it’s not about music….Simon was right to jump ship.

  7. 7
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    “squat/stand/hand flap=pia. She has a great voice, but wowsa, too cruise shippy”

    This basically describes every single Carrie Underwood performance on Idol, too.

    And I’ve mentioned before that…Simon championed Leona Lewis and trashed JHud every chance he could get. He never did and never will know the first thing about music. There could be more critical input from the judges, but was Simon’s “That’s dreadful. Youu’re fat. I don’t like you,” really better?

  8. 8
    jayem
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    Jersey – I don’t understand that line of thinking. You’re supposed to vote for who you like or thought sang the best. I don’t think anyone is ticking off those who are probably safe and voting for someone else. They are voting for who they want to win. And not enough people wanted her to win. Is anyone who votes voting that way? I’m not.

    Itchy – I used to think we were laughing together, but now I feel like you’re mocking me. The thrill is gone.

  9. 9
    jersey4041
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 6:14 pm

    It’s not a line of thinking I created, it’s what they are saying…When I have voted in the past I have voted for who I thought had the best performance THAT night not who I liked overall but I’m also an adult. I think young girls pick the guy who they think is cute. I don’t think they’re going to vote for who does the best. The thinking is now that the show will be consistently dominated by men because the fan base is young girls. Here’s the thing with that voting, if you were to vote for the person you liked the LEAST, I don’t think it would’ve been Pia, I’m not suggesting they vote like that but that’s how I look at it. There’s probably also a large base (myself included) who DON’T vote and I figured Pia would make it through, I didn’t think people don’t vote for her. So, I guess the line of thinking is based off my own viewing.

  10. 10
    wcsdancer
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    “that special Iggy Pop brand of dancing that looks like a four-year-old child snorted a line of Pixie Stix and then rocked out.”
    LMAO when I read that!

    When they were at TMZ, I actually cracked up when Casey answered “your mom!” when asked who he was dating. Yeah, TMZ staffers = douchebags.

  11. 11
    melange
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    I think with the advent of free texting (if you have an unlimited plan) and this year’s internet voting, AI has gone down the crapper. I follow dialidol, which predicts the weekly vote based on call-in busy signals. Pia has been highly ranked there every week, including this week. So who caused the downfall of Pia, then? Texters and web voters; mostly tweens and teens.

    Pia was a bit stiff, but I don’t remember Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard, or Carrie Underwood doing much but stand and sing either. At least three guys should have exited before Pia: Paul, whose range resembles that of a broken teakettle; James, who sang completely off-key, except when he was screaming (as I watched I thought, “I know why his guitar is weeping!”); and one-trick pony Scotty. I’m sorry people – country singing is an affectation. No one comes out of the womb singing country. The twang, squeal, and other flourishes are add-ons. If Scotty just wanted to sing pop or even rock, he could! but no – he ignores the themes, and it’s the same boring country blargh every week.

    I think Jacob should have been voted off just for his sanctimonious moralizing – especially after pelvic thrusting his way all over the stage. (Maybe he kept the blocking from “Let’s Get It On?”) Instead of appearing “moral”, he just comes across as repressed and terrified of his own sexuality.

  12. 12
    ohhhyeah
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 10:03 pm

    With all the voting controversy, I just have to say that there hasn’t been one female voted off yet who hasn’t had some major weaknesses. There are some guys who should definitely be gone by now as well, but if a truly talented female comes along there’s no reason to believe she couldn’t win this show. I think it’s no stretch to say that girls make up the largest portion of the voting audience (although I’m highly skeptical of the commonly accepted notion that tweens make up the largest portion of the voting block) and women are naturally going to be more interested in and supportive of the guys, so it’s always going to be more of a challenge for the girls. Add to that women’s general disdain and judgmental attitude toward other women and every female contestant has to navigate a mine field of proper manners without seeming prudish, of being fun and outgoing without coming across as a dirty skank or bubbly airhead, physically acceptable without being overly attractive and therefore threatening, intelligent without seeming smug, confident but with a proper amount of humility, acceptably fashionable (good luck)… the list goes on and on. It’s more of a challenge, but it can be done and occasionally is. If it seems like I’m being sexist I’m not, because I LIKE girls and WISH they’d stick around longer on shows like these. I’m not especially thrilled to watch a show consisting entirely of dudes. So for my sake stop being so mean to one another, and if you think I’m exaggerating read any forum on any site then tell me I’m wrong.

    The judges. I’m wondering how the judges could be shocked at the elimination when the night before they had universally praised everyone. I would take that to mean that they think everyone has a right to stay in the competition. Funny that the judges can’t come up with any real criticism for the contestants, but are quick to point out how wrong the public is for liking who it likes. Here’s a tip for the judges: if everything’s great, then everything’s average. So the sum total of their constant praise indicates that we’re watching a bunch of average performances week after week, which sounds about right.

    Instead of having a Rock n’ Roll or Elton John or Motown themed performance show, I would be overjoyed with the theme of a show being a requirement that the judges reveal at least one thing they didn’t like about each performance or that they thought could be better. They need to start earning their money. The panel desperately needs a judge who doesn’t care if he/she gets booed for being honest (and when did stupid-ass audiences who boo any criticism that is less-than-positive and who give every performance a standing ovation become the norm anyway? Every person in the audience should have ‘Idiot Sheep’ stamped on their forehead). Even when Jen or Randy give a half-criticism they quickly temper it by downplaying what they just said followed by a declaration of how much they love everything else about the contestant. They need to stop being such wimps and give useful feedback. Steven was able to find the mean on several occasions during auditions so I know that he is at least capable of finding fault with a performance, but I kind of think that at this point getting anything but “beautiful” out of him would take a miracle. If the judges really believe they’re witnessing nothing but perfection, maybe they’re not qualified to be judges.

    As for Pia, I see her doing well in an all-girl group similar to The Spice Girls or The Saturdays, where her bot weaknesses could be compensated for by choreographed moves and stronger personalities. I think she’d do much better in that type of setting than as a solo artist, but that’s just my two cents and I’ve been wrong before. That was a terrible moment.

  13. 13
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 10:28 pm

    I wonder how Stefano felt, knowing everyone (especially the judges) would have preferred that he had gone home. Talk about public humiliation.

  14. 14
    iamrufus
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 10:34 pm

    I was thinking that, too! “America got it WRONG!” Cut to close-up of Fano’s face falling. Even if it is even a little bit true, that don’t mean Randy had to say it like THAT! Damn! Betcha his momma doesn’t think it was wrong…lol.

  15. 15
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 10:37 pm

    And melange…I wouldn’t knock country music in general. There are some very talented country performers…and some of the legends put the pop and rock genre folks to shame.

    I was listeneing to a song by The Highwaymen the other day. (That’s Kris Kristofferson, Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson, and Johnny Cash.) I was struck by how individual they each are…unique…maybe not a “perfect” vocal, but absolutely fantastic. Waylon’s voice in particular had an interesting weathered tone to it.

    And that’s what’s missing with the AI contestants. Instead of looking for a NEW voice, the judges chose cheap soundalikes for performers who are already in the public eye. We don’t need a third rate Maroon 5 singer (frankly, we don’t need the original, either.) We don’t need a junior league Marvin Gaye (or, in Jacob’s case, Marvin Gay.) The reason Carrie Underwood and Chris Daughtry have gone on to success, is because they have an identifiable sound all their own. And it’s the same reason why Adam Lambert (as much as I am not a fan) will also find success….but Lee Dewyze and Pia Whats-her-name will fade into Trivial Pursuit questions.

  16. 16
    itchy
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 11:20 pm

    Jayem — no, please, don’t get me wrong. I AM laughing with you. I never mock anyone here at TVGasm, and I never will. I reserve my mockery solely for the contestants on reality televisions shows. I see no reason to make fun of other commenters here (well, unless they’re really really asking for it) and I don’t. I might tease a bit, but it’s meant to be all in good fun.

    And in all seriousiousness, even if I question the appeal of Scotty McCreepy, I do enjoy reading your comments about the show.

  17. 17
    itchy
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 11:35 pm

    Didn’t that nasty rat-haired woman with the horrible back tattoo get close to winning last year? So there’s that. At a certain point the tweenyboppers and their moms break their alliance? Hard to picture millions of hormone-deranged pre-teens voting for Dewyzzzzz.

    I can see why they like Scotty McCreepy, because he’s completely asexual, in other words, non-threatening. It’s like he stepped out of an episode of Mayberry RFD. (One of my favorite shows as a kid!)

    As for Jacob — I’d feel silly singing “Let’s Get It On” also. Sure, Marvin Gaye does it pretty well, but it’s still one of the cheesiest songs of all time. Not that Man in the Mirror is any better.

    Lutz is right though. America’s not about to vote for a sexually repressed proto-homosexual black gospel singer who looks like Casper the Friendly Ghost’s great-grandfather’s secret love-child.

    It’s a shame too, because if he could harness that voice, and had a little more musical depth to him, he’d be the best singer in this competition.

    And yeah, the judges are a bunch of kiss-asses, although I’ve always questioned whether their comments really sway that many voters anyway.

    One thing that is indeed bullshit is how they never call out Scotty McCreepy for refusing to budge from his country twang comfort zone. The kid’s got no balls, that’s all. Any other singer would get shot down big time for being so one-shot.

    But I don’t weep for AI — they make tons of money on this show, a few album sales here or there doesn’t change all that much.

  18. 18
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted April 12, 2011 at 12:33 am

    All I know is that when I was in the age range of most of the teen/tween/pre-tween girls who watch this show, I loved Laurie as much as Keith Partridge and thought Olivia Newton John was the best because she was so pretty.

    I’m a geezer, though, so maybe girls really have become these little Pavlovian creatures who only like cute boys and hate other girls and no girl could ever possibly win, except of the four female winners, three of them beat “cute boys” (yes, Bo counts because I read TWoP at the time and he had plenty of squeeing fan girls, even if he did like he just stepped off the TARDIS from 1972) to do so.

    This season has been weird in that the women are getting shit-canned early and I haven’t watched the last two seasons so maybe it’s been a pattern since I stopped, but other than Pia, a very good case can be made for the other women getting the boot, so while I’m always surprised that Stefano doesn’t get the boot, I can’t say that I’m rending my garments because he stayed over Ashthon, Thia, Karen or Naima. Pia, yes, but John Stevens stayed over JHud. These things happen and it’s not because girls hate other girls or only like boys.

  19. 19
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted April 12, 2011 at 12:36 am

    Heh, itchy I just read your comment. Lutz is the sexually repressed writer on 30 Rock. Lusk is the sexually repressed singer on AI. Although I can see where you’d get confused seeing as how they’re kind of the photo negatives of each other.

  20. 20
    itchy
    Posted April 12, 2011 at 1:27 am

    Heh, I was probably thinking “putz” after all the pelvic thrusting.

    And yeah, I would have totally voted for Danny Bonaduce. Except I’m a guy, so there’s no way I would have done something ‘lame’ like vote.

    Haley’s got a chance — she could end up being engaging enough to get the wanna-be-like-her girl vote.

    Except, as I pointed out, while the producers are going out of their way to establish personalities for the guys, they spend little time making the girls look interesting. Unless you consider showing Lauren slipping down the stairs as an interesting personality trait.

  21. 21
    ohhhyeah
    Posted April 12, 2011 at 2:50 am

    “But I don’t weep for AI — they make tons of money on this show, a few album sales here or there doesn’t change all that much.”

    That’s the thing that gets overlooked so much or simply isn’t understood. Creating star musicians isn’t the point of AI. AI is the point of AI. It’s a cash cow and they only need a few musicians to do reasonably well to keep people feeling like the show is relevant. What they really care about is ratings and future seasons of AI. And I don’t consider that a bad thing, because isn’t every show on television striving for the same thing?

    “These things happen and it’s not because girls hate other girls or only like boys.”

    But it’s a pattern that’s not only repeated on this show, but on every show like it with a similar voting system. Coincidence? As I stated, girls can win, but they have to be pretty special and play their cards just right. That’s just the nature of the beast and it’s not going to change.

  22. 22
    soapboxx
    Posted April 12, 2011 at 5:15 am

    Bwhahahaha love it that Pita got voted off. Guys don’t vote so it will be an all male finale. I don’t like Pita’s voice, it seems screechy to me. I hope Lusk insults America again, that was too funny. McCreepy will be the winner and he will sell millions of records. His voice can only get better with instruction and time. Lusk probably has the best range but he can’t contain his her-moans.

  23. 23
    JasonR
    Posted April 12, 2011 at 7:00 am

    Idol got very lucky with a few huge hit artists, but by and large this show produces major recording artists at about the same rate as “America’s Next Top Model” actually mints top models or “The Bachelor(ette)” makes real couples. And while yes ohhhyeah (#21) the main point of Idol is Idol, the producers do stand to make a lot more money if their winners go on to big music sales and it continues to legitimize the show if its’ winners/alumni are successful in the real world. But I’m a prime example of what you said. I watch the show every season, but out of thousands of songs on my iPod you’ll find 2 Kelly Clarkson, 1 from Alison Iraheta (loved her “Cry Cry Baby” performance), and that’s it.

  24. 24
    Mary Pearson
    Posted April 12, 2011 at 8:45 am

    “One thing that is indeed bullshit is how they never call out Scotty McCreepy for refusing to budge from his country twang comfort zone. The kid’s got no balls, that’s all. Any other singer would get shot down big time for being so one-shot. ” —– I have to disagree with this a little. Really good rockers on past seasons of AI, such as Daughtry, David Cook and Adam Lambert, always stuck with rock even when the theme of the week was country or show tunes and the judges praised them for making the songs work for them.

    Well, maybe Lambert was not exactly PRAISED for “Ring of Fire”….but he still got points for making it his own. lol

  25. 25
    NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted April 12, 2011 at 9:00 am

    @ohhhyeah: Is there really anybody left who doesn’t understand or overlooks the fact that AI isn’t about creating star musicians? I gotta think that by now, people pretty know the fake score.

    AI fans are similar to Bachelor fans in that they WANT to beleive in it, and when something happens that they don’t like, they’ll cry foul as if there really were a legitimate contest occurring with something real and tangible at stake, but by and large, even those fans know that the two shows have nothing to do with their stated purpose.

    I just hope in 20 years people still won’t be on the Internet trying to explain it to other people. My fondest hope is that by then we’ll be debating whether it’s moral to lock talk/reality TV hosts in cages where they have to fight gene-spliced racoonbears and tigerpuggles for our blood-thirsty entertainment.

    And my money’s on that tigerpuggle to devour Andy Cohen’s balls in 15 seconds or less.

  26. 26
    itchy
    Posted April 12, 2011 at 9:14 am

    By ‘tigerpuggle’ I’m assuming you’re referring to Jeff Probst. He’s probably reading this right now and saying: “Damn! How is it possible that show hasn’t already been made.” And then he’ll whip out his big long Executive Producer credentials and make it happen.

    @Mary Person (yeah, I know there’s an ‘a’, but I just finished work, I’m in that kind of mood, giggle): I’m rarely able to reflect back longer than a week or two in the past for a show like this. So when I say things like “never” I generally mean “in the last five minutes or so.” So yeah, you’re probably right.

  27. 27
    jayem
    Posted April 12, 2011 at 10:01 am

    I do not understand why people keep insisting that Scotty stop singing Country. Does that mean James should start singing R & B? Or Jacob should switch to Rock?? That is his voice, that’s how he sings, that’s how he sounds. If you’re gonna accuse him of sticking to what he knows, then you gotta acuse the rest of them of the same thing. The only person to break genre has been Haley, so she’s the only person exempt from that criticism.

  28. 28
    Gilty Plezzur
    Posted April 12, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    Perhaps the girls keep getting voted off because it was the judges who put in the least interesting girls in the first place. I can recall a few others who were pretty good but weren’t in the sex-kitten (more marketable) category. They incorrectly assumed that would insure a chick in the finals at least. The physically hotter, and just as talented boys were somehow passed over for dorkier types. I mainly watch AI for the laughs, so I’m perfectly happy with the guys. The girls, except for Naima, who really couldn’t sing very well, have all been uncharismatic. I can’t stand Pia’s type of screeching, and Hailey’s voice makes my throat hurt. Somebody had to go, and they used up their save on Casey, so too bad, judges. And, if mainly tweens and middle-school girls are voting, I remember at that age thinking that singers like Pia and the adult-type songs they sang were extra, extra boring, so no wonder they didn’t vote for her. They need someone more fun to identify with and none of the chicks this season have been any fun, despite their young ages. The boys are all hilariously fun, except for Stefano, but he’s good eye candy. I can’t really see any of the contestants hitting it big except for Alfred E. Aiken. Country fans like their All-American corn and he serves it up on a huge platter. Right, Grandma?

  29. 29
    IceQueen
    Posted April 12, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    @NotWithoutMyTV: What on earth is a tigerpuggle?? I want one…

    Perhaps instead of “Vote for the Worst” we need a “Vote for the Girls.” Someone get on that. I nominate itchy…

  30. 30
    itchy
    Posted April 12, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    Hold on. I’m still reeling from NotwithoutmyTV’s suggestion that the Bachelor isn’t real.

    But yeah, I can see it, a massive movement of male-oriented web sites, Maxim, Youporn, Fleshbot, a rebellion if you will. We shall unite the dark legions. And we’ll go kick us some tweenybopper butt, that’s what.

  31. 31
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted April 12, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    itchy, once you finish reeling, we’ll have to talk about Santa, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy.

  32. 32
    ohhhyeah
    Posted April 12, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    “I just hope in 20 years people still won’t be on the Internet trying to explain it to other people. My fondest hope is that by then we’ll be debating whether it’s moral to lock talk/reality TV hosts in cages where they have to fight gene-spliced racoonbears and tigerpuggles for our blood-thirsty entertainment.”

    That doesn’t upset my sense of morality and I would watch.

  33. 33
    Mary Pearson
    Posted April 12, 2011 at 9:56 pm

    @itchy….lol, its ok. i scan comments looking for yours because you always provide me with a chuckle or an “oh that is so true” moment. :)

  34. 34
    Mary Pearson
    Posted April 12, 2011 at 9:57 pm

    and yes people…that’s right. i am itchy’s official stalker. lol

  35. 35
    itchy
    Posted April 13, 2011 at 12:33 am

    Aw shucks. I’m sideways smiling right now.

  36. 36
    juddfan
    Posted April 13, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    This is what happens when I comment on About Last Night. Interesting comments, I have to board the train heading for tweensville, coz I do think they are in control. Usually their hold flaters by the finale (think Sanjaya) but it’s only been getting worse season to season.

    Interesting point on how they are handling the personalities. I though Pia was pretty cool when they were wrestling. She shouldn’t have done “Don’t Let the Sun GDOM” after Randy told her no ballads. That week Haley killed on Benny and the Jets, and my tired old ass actually voted for her–go figure.

    It’s one thing to do only ballads, it’s another thing to do ballads that are tired and have been done again and again, and then not really knock them out, as I didn’t really like her DLTSGDOM”

    When I used to care, and used to vote, I normally voted for who I liked that I thought was in trouble to help save them . .. therefore, someone I thought was a Frontrunner wouldn’t get my attention. I have also voted fervently for one who I thought was hot and wanted to see some more of “cough” Matt Rogers “cough” But it’s the tween in me!!!!

  37. 37
    IceQueen
    Posted April 13, 2011 at 5:45 pm

    @juddfan: your complaints have been heard! This week the TVGasm writers started posting individual mini recaps the day after shows air. Your wishes are Flipit’s commands. ;)

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