American Idol Season 12 Episode 2: Ch-ch-ch-chicago

Mariah Pulice, a recovering anorexic with a 90-second backstory reel and a 70-picture PowerPoint slideshow, is next.  I won’t make fun of her for that disease.

For this outfit and hair bow, though, I will.

She sings “Let It Be” with some vibratto and breath tricks that I’m not fond of, but everyone likes her and Mariah even cries, but Mimi might be crying because she’s super, super tired.  Mariah P’s family comes in to celebrate with her and cry some more.

Day 2.  All the judges are dressed better/have better hair today.

Well, all the judges except Mimi.  But her chair holder looks good today.

Brandy Neely, adoptee, is 17 and from Louisville, Kentucky, and she was born to be in the Top 20.  Good thing she’s talented, too.  I like her because she’s poised, confident without being arrogant, and she has the pipes to back it all up.

I am here to renew your faith in this show.

Josh Holiday, 24, may be the dark horse of the season with a pretty good rendition of “Back at One”.

Supercuts hairdo notwithstanding.

Next up is a mash-up of the very talented Courtney Williams, a fresh-faced, pretty 18-year-old from Greenville, Mississippi, who sings a delightfully controlled version of the prelude to “Hold On”,

I should get through simply because I successfully navigated childhood in Mississippi (which has the dubious double distinction of being both the fattest state in the U.S. and having the worst educational system).  Holla!

and Andrew Jones, a 28-year-old music teacher who is both likeable and great at singing.  At first, I think he’s both singing “Knock on Wood” and tap dancing at the same time, but then I realize Keith & Randy are playing back-up percussion on the judges’ table for him.  They both make it through.

Clifton Duffin, 24, has never sung in front of his parents.  Lame!  So Twinkercrest sets up his parents to secretly watch Clifton’s audition of “Superstar” without Clifton knowing they can see and hear him.

Ryan Seacrest:  Assisting creepers since 2001.

Clifton gets through.

In case you didn’t know, everyone loves Mariah. 

The old Mariah, that is.

Ieisha Cotton loves Mariah, too, and she says she is a professional dancer, which I doubt, and wants to be the next American Idol, which is never … gonna … happen.

I am surprised at how bad I am, too.  Watch me this summer when I try out for So You Think You Can Dance!