3,478 Episodes Later…

American Idol

By youcantmakeitup | | 1:43 pm | 37 Comments

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…and we’ve finally arrived. Tonight at 8 p.m. is the American Idol finale. This year, Fox Execs have upped the confusion ante by allowing America to vote for their beloved Idol using two numbers instead of one. That’s two numbers, one for every opposable thumb Bo is missing.

I kid, I kid. This season has certainly seen its ups and tracheotomy scars, hasn’t it? I just can’t wait to see what fluff they’ll be using to fill in tonight’s hour long episode, followed by tomorrow night’s 2 hour long circle jerk which (fingers crossed) will involve Corey Clark “doin his thang.”

Keep reading to see who I’m pulling for (so to speak) in tonight’s episode, and feel free to debate who the ultimate winner will be. Stay tuned for the recap!

UPDATE: The finale is NEXT week. I’m clearly waaaay to jazzed about it. Ne’er the less, watch it tonight. Ryan Seacrest will hopefully fight off Bo’s aggressive sexual advances once again…

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37 Comments

  1. 1
    BG14
    Posted May 17, 2005 at 1:51 pm

    I have not yet bought a single American Idol CD. I did come close to buying Kelly Clarkson’s new CD, but have not.
    Of the people remaining, if I was going by what I would most likely buy….
    I’d say Bo.

    Gotta love a rocker named Harold

  2. 2
    Posted May 17, 2005 at 2:04 pm

    I see no shame in admitting to buying her album. “Since You Been Gone” is currently in heavy rotation when I’m applying my make-up. I support that.

    Truth be told, I don’t dislike any of the final three — but Vonzell’s been my favorite forever, so I’m stickin to her.

  3. 3
    Posted May 17, 2005 at 2:05 pm

    Actually, the finale is next week, but that’s okay. I’m sure tonight will be just as ridicule-worthy as ever.

  4. 4
    Posted May 17, 2005 at 2:15 pm

    OH NO!

  5. 5
    Kelley
    Posted May 17, 2005 at 2:31 pm

    I too am pulling for the Vonz. I’m not sure how many more of these anti-climactic finales I can take. I feel a little stupider every time I watch.

  6. 6
    Leah3t
    Posted May 17, 2005 at 2:39 pm

    youcantmakeitup- where have you been!? we have not seen enough of you!

  7. 7
    Jim
    Posted May 17, 2005 at 3:18 pm

    Vonzell?! Are you shittin’ me?!

  8. 8
    The Player
    Posted May 17, 2005 at 3:27 pm

    damn, Baby V looks so cute in that pic. I love all three but I think she’s the only one who would make a CD I’d buy. & yes Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone” is pretty awesome.

  9. 9
    Ashes
    Posted May 17, 2005 at 3:27 pm

    youcantmakeitup, I am also the proud owner of Ms. Clarkson’s latest. I got suckered in by her performance on SNL. I will consider buying the album of this season’s winner only if I hear the first couple of songs on the radio and don’t laugh like I did with Ruben and Clay.

  10. 10
    Kelley
    Posted May 17, 2005 at 3:38 pm

    Has anyone heard Fantasia’s? After I heard that clever “b-a-b-y-m-a-m-a” hook from a stint on Live with Regis and Kelly, she pretty much summed it up for me.

  11. 11
    Plumes
    Posted May 17, 2005 at 3:44 pm

    I never even downloaded any Idol crappy music. This crop is crappier than ever. Crappy Crop…

  12. 12
    yourmom
    Posted May 17, 2005 at 4:47 pm

    I heard on the radio today that Bo cut his hair. Please tell me its not true. I’m not one to go for guys with long hair but I like his. I think all three deserve to be there tonight but I’ve liked Bo since Hollywood so I’m sticking with him. Go Bo! – p.s.- I got BOGO on the brain.

  13. 13
    Jick
    Posted May 17, 2005 at 8:10 pm

    After tonight, Bo is sure to be the next Idol. But I love Vonzell. She smiles and my heart melts. I want to see her in the finale next week even though she won’t win.

  14. 14
    Posted May 17, 2005 at 9:09 pm

    Thanks to this site, which I just recently caught on to… Every time I see Bo Bice, I internally, externally, transendentally spout, “The Passion of the Bice.”

    As a Catholic, growing up, y’all aren’t helping me with the afterlife Karma thing.

    Cowgirls in tight pants are pretty hot, though.

  15. 15
    MissMermaid
    Posted May 17, 2005 at 9:29 pm

    Vonzell is such a pretty girl, with an honest sweetness about her. She’s a good singer, but she’s not great.

    Bo consistantly sings well- I’ll give him that- but I find him the most boring. He’s in the wrong decade: for clothes, hair, songs… eurgh!

    Carrie can belt them out (her Air Supply cover truly was brilliant!) and is by far the most versatile, when it comes to dollars and cents. They’d be able to give her pretty much anything to sing and she’d be able to do it. Which is the point when you want to sell as many records to as many different people as possible.

    Based on that, Carrie to win because she’s a little green and probably wouldn’t mind signing away 75% of the money she’ll earn to AI, Bo to come in second and to get a legit record deal, and Vonzell to work with some disco people and have a couple of one-hit wonders. She’s young. She’ll bounce back.

  16. 16
    Anthony
    Posted May 17, 2005 at 11:41 pm

    I think tonight Bo was strongest, but overall, Carrie has had the most consistent run. In the end Carrie will win…Bo second, and Vonzell won’t be around after tomorrow.

  17. 17
    Tetsuo
    Posted May 17, 2005 at 11:44 pm

    Um, forgive me for this, since I don’t live where I can watch this series, but is Vonzell naturally a woman or the result of a surgical procedure?

  18. 18
    Catie
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 5:30 am

    I’m hoping Vonzell wins too, but unfortunately it looks like we might be stuck with Bland Carrie. For some reason the more I look at her, the more I hate her.

    MissMermaid- I have to disagree, I don’t think Carrie is very versatile at all. She does really well with the country and pretty good with a few non-country songs, but that’s it. I can’t see her wanting to make anything but a country record (not that they would let her, but still). Vonzell already looks like a star and performs like one (no awkward single linedancing for her)! They could easily give her pop or R&B type songs and she’d do great.

    I should also throw in, I’d be okay if Bo won. But I’d prefer Vonzell. And basically either of them over Carrie.

  19. 19
    Jess
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 5:51 am

    I voted for AI for the first time ever…and I voted for Vonzie! I don’t think she’ll win, but I wanted to vote for her anyway. (NO, I didn’t vote for Nader last time.)

    I think Bo might take it, and I’d love a final two with Bo and Vonzell. Sadly, though, I’m sure it’ll be Bo v. Carrie for the final two.

    Kelly Clarkson’s new CD is actually pretty good!! Just hard to listen to when you’re a recent dumpee (*sob*)…

  20. 20
    Ashes
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 6:47 am

    I haven’t voted for AI, but I went ahead and tried to vote for Bo nearly 2 hours after the show ended. Both of his lines were busy. I figured that was a good sign for him, but the others may have had busy lines all night, too.

  21. 21
    couchpotato
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 7:35 am

    All 3 did so well last night. It was truely a good show. I’ve always been a Vonzell fan, but I thought Carrie rocked it. That second song she sang when she held that note was wow. We all know Bo’s going through to the finals.

  22. 22
    Conspiracy
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 8:14 am

    Season 1: Kelley – white female, Season 2: Reuben – black male, Season 3: Fantasia – black female. Make no mistake, Bo is going to win whether you think he is good or bad.

  23. 23
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 8:30 am

    Is it bad that I’ve been listening to “Don’t Leave Me This Way” constantly for the last week after I heard Vonzell? I broke down and voted for her by text message this week.

  24. 24
    bobo
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 10:01 am

    Conspiracy I completely agree. It’s Bo’s turn to snatch it up this time. I actually like Vonzell (couldn’t stand Fantasia) but I think it’s time for a change, not that any of the last idols are making an impact on the music scene, but for the show, it’s time a white guy wins. And Bo is the best one of the three right now anyway. And to sing accapella like that and hit every note, blew me away. I switched my vote from Carrie to Bo last night.

  25. 25
    bobo
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 10:02 am

    Conspiracy I completely agree. It’s Bo’s turn to snatch it up this time. I actually like Vonzell (couldn’t stand Fantasia) but I think it’s time for a change, not that any of the last idols are making an impact on the music scene, but for the show, it’s time a white guy wins. And Bo is the best one of the three right now anyway. And to sing accapella like that and hit every note, blew me away. I switched my vote from Carrie to Bo last night.

  26. 26
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 10:23 am

    Last nite, i went watched with an open mind. since scott-sweaty-fat-fingers-savol has been gone, i havent had anything to bitch about… UNTIL NOW! I (sadly enough) am a huge Country Music and Television fan… HOWEVER… CARRIE is soo VERY BORING!! I mean, Bo came out of the bull pit RUNNIN’ Vonzell took us to church… and CARRIE walked stage left to right singing one of Shania’s many #1 hits with out so much as a few microphone taps. I NOW HATE HER AND HER WHITE BORING CRUST FREE BRED DORKLAHOMA ASS! Pulling for baby V and bo in the final, simply to watch a good show… (even though carrie got the better pipes)

  27. 27
    Alohaguy
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 10:40 am

    Georgia…you are soooo right…Carrie Underwear is just boring. She sings well, is pretty in the “oh my god, I’m at the mall” kind of way, but would be a blip on the stage…can you say Brittany?

  28. 28
    00spark00
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 11:04 am

    Vonzell NEEDS to go this week. She is awful! And she picked the same exact song Fantasia sang last year at around this same time…no originality!

    Go Bo & Carrie!

  29. 29
    eyes
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 11:59 am

    Did anyone else besides me notice how FAT Carrie is? I was watching her move around in those tight jeans and I had to turn away. She looked like a pig off the farm.

  30. 30
    eyes
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 11:59 am

    oh yeah; Paula’s boobs looked pretty good last night too.

  31. 31
    jameswoodsrules
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 12:31 pm

    Tetsuo-i laughed, i cried….my friends and i have been calling her MANZELL SOLOMAN for a long time now….

  32. 32
    Victoria
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 12:44 pm

    I called in and voted for Bo last night, ad instead of the generic voice that says “Thanks for voting for contestant two.” it was actually Bo. He says, “Hey thanks for voting for me, Bo.” I was positively startled.

    I know the whole point of the show is to sell albums, and I’ve watched for four years and never bought one. (Love Kelly Clarkson, but they play her incessantly on Star so I don’t need to buy the album.) This will change when Bo’s album comes out.

  33. 33
    Ashes
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 2:06 pm

    Victoria, you must have timed it just right or spent a long time hitting redial. I waited until almost 2 hours after the show ended and then tried both of Bo’s numbers, and both were still busy. I’ve liked Bo for a few weeks, but last night he became my favorite.

  34. 34
    eyes
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 2:17 pm

    Vonzell a man? Are you kidding! She’s got a body that won’t stop. Her ass is like BAM! Those thighs are like POW! I don’t know what her face looks like though. My eyes never move up that high:)

  35. 35
    jameswwodsrules
    Posted May 18, 2005 at 4:15 pm

    Yes, her body won’t stop saying, “I am a man.”

  36. 36
    Cairo
    Posted May 26, 2005 at 10:06 am

    I just have to say that this goes to show how many “teeny-boppers” there are in this world. I loved Carrie, but by far I feel that BO was the fresh face that this show needed to make a statement that ROCK is definitely out there. I think that all the viewers want is another “bubble-gum” singer to fit into that cookie-cutter world instead of picking someone who is more original and with a unique voice.

  37. 37
    Nancy
    Posted May 26, 2005 at 9:55 pm

    I don’t understand all the negative comments about Baby V and the way she looks. She’s a very pretty woman with a warm smile, a great body and a pleasant voice. She just needs a little more confidence. Competing for a million dollar contract must be very stressful. I’m amazed at age 54 I actually watched this show, but Bo blew me away when he sang Whipping Post so I forced myself to turn on my set every Tues to watch him, although I think some Crest Whitestrips might have gained Bo a few more votes. His 2 drug busts didn’t help his reputation either. But if this was a talent contest and not a popularity one, Bo and Constantine had my vote (Bohemian Rhapsody was amazing) but IMHO it was “The Bo Bice Show” for weeks. Carrie has strong pipes, but she is very annoying. She even forgot her lines didn’t she? Since she’s a college senior, I find it hard to believe she’s as dumb as a rock, but that’s the way she comes across. I disagreed with Simon when he knocked her for singing “Love is A Battlefield” by Pat Benatar. At least she tried to show she wasn’t a robot by moving around the stage and she pulled it off. But I kept thinking I was watching Elly May on speed. (for you youngins she was on The Beverly Hillbillies) None of the idol contestants IMHO are truly talented compared to the natural genius of someone like Mariah Carey or Alicia Keyes. The finale’s tribute to the Beach Boys was horrifying. Everyone was off-tune and Claudia couldn’t hit a good note. I had to put my fingers in my ears. Well, it’s probably a blessing for Bo that he came in 2nd. At least he can get a legitimate contract and earn some real money cutting a record with Clive Davis. By the way, I voted and got through to hear Bo thank me. It just took a lot of patience.

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