Recap: The Girls Are Still Better Than The Boys; Plus, Eliminations

American Idol

By B-Side | Friday, March 2, 2007 | 1:00 pm | 40 Comments

I don’t know whether I like or hate watching the girls on American Idol. On the one hand, they’re way, way, way better than the guys, and therefore more entertaining. But on the other hand, it’s so obvious which women will be advancing that it’s slightly a chore to sit through such predictable performances. I guess the real suspense comes from those second-tier wannabes — Alaina, Antonella, Haley, and Leslie. Will they ever improve enough to earn a reprieve? Probably not. However, at least they were all better than their miserable performances last week (although, to be honest, I thought Leslie wasn’t that awful last week). Enough babbling though. Recap of the girls’ performances AND the elimination show after the jump…I could start off this recap talking about the Randy and his technicolor paisley shirt, or I could mention Paula’s strange brown velvet gettup, but I’d rather just get right into the action because there’s lot to discuss and not a lot of time before the next episode. Anyway, the first singer up was Gina Glocksen, who dedicated her song to her boyfriend, Joe. “He’s my little punk rocker wannabe!” she said, clearly dashing his punk rock hopes in one fell swoop. Anyway, Gina decided to tackle “Alone” by Heart, and while there’s nothing inherently wrong with that song, I would have stayed away from it, only because Carrie Underwood so expertly pulled it off on her season.

Nevertheless, Gina launched into the song, and while she started off unevenly, Gina eventually got into the groove, and by the time she hit the power chorus, A.J. Tabaldo already had his arms in the air, waving them about with the smiley glee we’ve come to expect from him. Overall, I liked Gina, but she wasn’t great, and I think she was slightly better last week. Randy also had a so-so response to Gina. He liked the song choice but cited her for being pitchy in spots. Paula, meanwhile, gushed “Excellent job,” and Simon noted that while the song choice was good, some of the vocals felt forced. Plus, he thought she was presenting a confusing image. Here she was a tough, edgy girl but all her songs were sappy hits from Lite-FM. On this point, Randy and Paula vehemently disagreed with Simon. Heart is rock, they contended, clearly never having heard “Alone.” Look, I love “Alone.” It’s a staple on my Cheesy ’80s playlist. But it’s not rock, despite Heart’s classic rock roots. I couldn’t even imagine what Randy would say about “These Dreams.” He’d probably label it death metal.

Next up was Alaina, who proudly asserted that she could really, really, really identify with her song this week, which had me assuming she’d be singing the classic tune, “I AM AWFUL.” Unfortunately, she opted to go with the Dixie Chicks’ recent award winning anthem, “Not Ready To Make Nice,” which turns out to be not such a powerful song when it’s sung by a mousy wannabe. The good news for Alaina was that she was way, way, way better than last week, and for a while, she seemed to be on the road towards total redemption. However, she got caught up in the song and totally drowned out by the backup singers, ultimately clocking in with another forgettable performance.

Randy informed her that it started off well… for the first few bars. But then the tuning and pitch disappeared by the chorus, causing him to finally state, “It was a mess for me.”

“Really?” Alaina asked with the sort of smug entitlement that has driven me bonkers (in a bad way) since she first appeared in the auditions. Even more amusing was the sour reaction of her friend, whose little knit cap made her look like some long lost Amish girl who’d accidentally wandered into the audience.

“This has ruined my Rumspringa!”

Anyway, Paula also said Alaina’s pitch was off, but it wasn’t all doom and gloom. She told the girl that the performance was way better than last week, and not nearly as bad as Randy had said. You’d think Alaina would be happy to receive Paula’s rote compliments, but instead, she just tensed all up, furious that anyone would DEIGN to critique her! She sang a Dixie Chicks song, dammit! And it was about protest and empowerment! That automatically meant she was amazing, right???

“It was like Randy taking part in a hundred meter sprint,” Simon then offered up. “Three quarters of the way through the race he’d run out of steam.” Well, this was pretty much the straw that broke the camel’s back (and she does kind of look like a very pretty camel). When Ryan took the stage, Alaina asked the judges how she could improve, but unlike last week when she asked out of desperation and keen interest, this time she merely flapped her arms and irritably asked, “What do you guys suggest?” as if she had exhausted all her options for self-improvement. You got a better idea? BECAUSE ALAINA WOULD CERTAINLY LIKE TO KNOW!

“What? You’re saying bad things to ME???”

“They clearly don’t realize what a star I am!”

Next up was LaKisha Jones, who was looking more like Mandisa 2007 than ever before. Her hair was all did up (pretty awfully, I might add), and she was sporting the sort of baggy poncho/sweater that Mandisa herself most certainly would have leapt at given the chance. Anyway, LaKisha dedicated her song to her grandma Ruth, who at 90 was a firecracker in a walker. Grandma Ruth was the best, and she looked great too. Here’s to hoping she makes an appearance in the audience next week.

Anyway, LaKisha rocked her way through a solid, albeit slightly uninspiring, rendition of “Midnight Train to Georgia.” Don’t get me wrong — she was great; however, it’s tough to top last week, and on top of that, she didn’t really let her voice truly soar in the same way. Still, the song was spirited and fun, and Randy announced, “That was hot!” Paula unsurprisingly cooed, “I loved it. And I love you.” And Simon noted, “You are a phenomenally good singer.” However, he too thought it wasn’t as great as last week. He advised that she needed to act like a diva, be like a big star. He also trashed her outfit, which honestly, was very deserving of such criticisms. Of course, Ryan and Paula hounded Simon for being a “fashion expert,” but I didn’t really see what was wrong with him attacking LaKisha’s weird miniskirt. Simon may not be a designer, but he, like us, can always tell when things have gone awry. (Unlike Randy and his paisley wonderland of a shirt).

Well, we were in for a treat: the double bill of LaKisha Jones and Melinda Doolittle. That’s right, our favorite little Backup Singer Who Could took the stage and dedicated her song to her best friends, whom she collectively calls her “Gayles.” You see, they were sort of like the Gayle Kings to her Oprah — mostly in that they were sidekicks who owed everything in life to Melinda, apparently. Anyway, LaKisha’s sidekicks seemed to do everything for her — one was a vocal coach, another was her stylist. The latter “Gayle” apparently was so entrusted in her responsibilities that she actually had created a book that would inform Melinda what to put on every day. Normally, I’d think that was kind of pathetic or high maintenance, but coming from Melinda, it just seemed slightly awesome.

Even more awesome, however, was her singing. Melinda absolutely hit a grand slam with her sophisticated, jazzy take on “My Funny Valentine.” Despite wearing a random business suit (Gayle #2 was slackin’), Melinda totally commanded the stage. So what if she looked like she might break out into a Powerpoint demonstration at any second. She hit every note beautifully and showed the sort of mature control and skill that we’ve come to love from her. When she hit the high notes, I got chills (and so did AJ whose hands were once again flailing in the air). Even Chris Richardson couldn’t help celebrating the pure awesomeness of the performance with his little faux-JT clap he does off on the side.

When the song was over, Randy announced, “Melinda Doolittle came out here tonight to win it. That was unbelievable! You made the mark tonight! You are the one to beat!” Paula was similarly blown away, bestowing the highest praise she could give: “I applaud you.”

As for Simon, he wasn’t about to break rank. “THAT was incredible,” he said. “I think for me, the without question the best vocal we’ve had through the competition.” He then dissed all the less talented folk, calling them “precocious little monsters” and said that Melinda was “a breath of fresh air.” Yay Melinda! May you bring the pantsuit back into style!

For every high, however, there is a low. And so came Antonella Barber onto the stage, preparing to sing “Because You Love Me.” She certainly looked hot and appeared more confident, but I wasn’t sure why she’d tackle Celine when so many other girls had been reamed for taking on the grand divas. Nevertheless, Antonella tearfully dedicated this song to her brother Vincenzo, saying that she absolutely loved him more than anything else in the world. Yeah, whatevs! He probably blackmailed her into saying that so he wouldn’t leak more photos onto the internet.

Oh, I kid! Vincenzo looked like a nice guy. Anyway, Antonella started singing, and while she was waaay better than last week, she still had a long ways to go before she could gain America’s respect. This time around, she seemed to be racing through the song, the lyrics warbling out of her mouth faster than music could keep up with. To be fair, she wasn’t as totally tone deaf as last week, and she even managed to hit some high falsetto notes; so she should get credit for that, but based on the listless arm waving by the audience, we could tell she wasn’t exactly rocking the stage.

Afterwards, I thought she’d get mediocre reviews, but the judges reamed her. Randy said the song was completely wrong, the pitch was all over the place, and the aspirations too big. Like Alaina before her, Antonella copped an immediate attitude, annoyed that she’d have to be subjected to this ridicule a second week in a row. Paula was kinder, saying she’d made astronomical leaps and bounds since last week, but Simon brought the hate back by saying the vocals weren’t good enough and more shockingly that this was worse than last week. I had to disagree with him on that one. This performance, while not great by any means, was certainly better than the Aerosmith trainwreck we all witness last Wednesday. Ultimately, Antonella honed her inner Jersey girl and snapped back, “Simon was wrong about Jennifer Hudson.” MEEEOW! This seemed to truly upset Mr. Cowell, and he bitterly reminded Antonella and the audience that the judges didn’t kick her out, America did. FOOLISH IS THE GIRL WHO TRIES TO SEPARATE SIMON FROM OSCAR GLORY!

Luckily for Antonella, it appears as though the worst of the Internet scandal has passed (which would have been the case even sooner had anyone bothered to observe that Antonella’s boobs were about ten times bigger than the tiny pyramids on display in the blowjob pictures. But I digress — I promised my friend I’d mention that in the recap).

Next up was Jordin Sparks, who also dedicated the song to her little brother PJ. She began bawling in her video, saying how much she loved him and that she just wanted him to have a chance to shine one day much in the way she was shining right now. Ugh. So cheesy (as I blot the tears away with a tissue).

Anyway, I’m a big fan of Jordin Sparks, but her performance was not so great. The worst way to dispel that squeaky-clean, Mickey Mouse club image is to sing a song from Mulan, which is exactly what she did. On top of that, her voice was all shaky, and if it weren’t for her occasional moments of belting it out, she probably would have been raked over the coals by the judges. However, she did have enough power notes to earn positive notices, and as she cried on stage (still thinkin’ about PJ’s chance to shine!), Randy complimented her for being so amazing at such a young age, despite some pitchy moments. Paula commented, “YOu are one brilliant, talented girl,” and just when I thought Simon would bash her for her uneven singing, he instead called her excellent compared to other singers, despite this not being her best performance. Note to self: always cry in front of the judges.

Next up was Stephanie Edwards — the girl you always forget about, but when she sings, you say, “Damn! She’s good! I gotta remember her!” Anyway, Ryan asked her if the vibe with the girls was friendly or competitive, and of course, she had to say friendly. Simon didn’t believe it for one second, and when asked to comment on Simon’s thoughts, Paula did her patented awkward stare, stutter, and blurt: “WHATEVER!” she said. I wasn’t sure if she was doubting Stephanie or Simon, but it was classic Abdul nonetheless.

Anyway, Stephanie dedicated her song to her parents, who apparently dragged her to the auditions despite her reluctance. We could practically hear them muttering, “MUST… LIVE… VICARIOUSLY!!!”

Well, as expected, Stephanie was really good once again. She wasn’t a power singer like Melinda or LaKisha, but she had tons of personality. Basically, she was like Beyoncé to Melinda’s J-Hud, which would kind of make sense because Stephanie was actually singing a Beyoncé song.

The judges loved her once again, with Randy warning her not to be too copycat of Beyoncé. Paula thought she was brilliant and lovable, and Simon, shockingly, admitted that he agreed with Paula. “I thought it was a terrific performance,” he noted. Too bad we had to sully the moment with back-to-back songs by Leslie Hunt and Haley Scarnato next. Ugh.

First up was Leslie Hunt, the goofy dog walker who I don’t think is the worst of the bottom-feeders, but I doubted she’d be making it to the top twelve. Anyway, she dedicated her performance to her late grandpa Bob and then began singing something that sounded very, very familiar. Why, it was almost as if A.J. Tabaldo had sung the same song just the night before… That’s right, Leslie decided to tackle the exact same Nina Simone song, and while she wasn’t quite as good as AJ, she still was way better than the week before. For some reason, I enjoy watching Leslie Hunt in all her goofy glory; however, her scatting left something to be desired. It sounded sort of what I imagine the Chenbot would be like if someone spilled water on her.

Anyway, Randy said the performance was on the pitchy side, labeling it with the dubious distinction of merely being “just aiiight.” Paula gave the ambiguous comment of “You being you,” and Simon said that the scat sounded like Paula judging the show: gibberish. Ooh, that was funnier than my Chenbot joke. Well played, Cowell!

The best part of all this was that guy in Leslie’s friend & family section who like the week prior had a look of total shock and frustration on his face. CALM DOWN, DUDE. Anyway, Simon told Leslie that she was getting lost in the competition, and while she as doing the best that she could, the big voices were upstaging her. Not so fast! Paula had a stern rebuttal: “We all like different flavors of ice cream, and she’s a different flavor that’s unique!” She then added, “My favorite flavor of ice cream is sparkles!”

Shockingly, Simon took Paula’s metaphor and ran with it: “There were four raspberry ripples, and that was a vanilla.” Truth be told, I wouldn’t have any of those flavors. Chocolate fudge brownie, baby.

Speaking of flavors, if I had to assign the next singer a place in the ice cream parlor, it would be in the rocky road bin. Yes, it was time for Haley Scarnato, the cabaret warbler who regaled us with a campy (and off-tune) Celine performance last week. She dedicated this week’s song to her fiance Bobby, who apparently was having difficulty with Haley being so far away from home (ie. Gold’s Gym). “He’s not good with me being away,” Haley said, adding, “HE BEATS ME SAVAGELY!” Okay, I kid. She didn’t say that. However, what Haley did say was that she wanted to prove that she wasn’t just some old lady singing Celine Dion dirges. No, she was a fun, sassy gal who could mix it up with the best of them, and as such, she was going to tackle an upbeat Whitney Houston song. Sounded promising enough. Too bad Haley chose the worst upbeat Whitney Houston song: “Queen of the Night.” Seriously, she had “So Emotional”, “How Will I Know”, and “I Wanna Dance With Someone” to choose from, and she picked “Queen of the Night?” Yech. At least pick “I’m Your Baby, Tonight,” or, if you’re really desperate, “My Love Is Your Love!” But not “Queen of the Night!” It’s not right, and it’s not okay!

Okay, I actually don’t care that much about the song. I just felt like referencing several Whitney Houston songs for no real reason. Anyway, Haley was much better than her Celine performance, but she still wasn’t anything amazing. As Randy noted, there were more background parts than lead vocals in the song. Paula thought it was an improvement, and Simon said, “A for effort.” However, he told her it was manic, verging on insane, and because it was a Whitney song, it just made her look all the worse. Cut to Haley’s face which was filled with both rage and tears. Oh how she wanted to strangle Simon. Sorry, it’s not his fault you picked a dumb song that stiffed on the radio charts ten years ago.

Last but not least was Sabrina Sloan who proved to be a big surprise last week. She too decided to go for a Whitney Houston song, but unlike Haley, she opted for a ballad. Seemed kind of strange considering Sabrina had so wisely avoided the slow songs last week. Anyway, Sabs dedicated the song to “grammy” and then endeavored to take on “All The Man That I Need.” Unfortunately, she wasn’t nearly as good as last week, thanks to her voice which seemed fairly pitchy for long stretches. The performance wound up on the shrill side, and while it wasn’t awful, it certainly was a disappointing step backwards. The reviews were warm, if not overly enthusiastic. “Very nice one overall,” Randy said. “You are fantastic,” Paula added. “Very good,” Simon noted. Everyone agreed that last week was better, and Simon said, “Don’t confuse power with shouting.” Hopefully, she’d be back on track next week…

THE RESULTS:

Don’t keep reading if you don’t want the results spoiled!

Since I fell behind in my recapping, I opted to simply lump the results into this post rather than post a whole other recap instead. Anyway, the results show started off with a group performance of “Joy To The World.” It was sweet and pleasant — like a joyous performance at Six Flags Magic Mountain. Sundance was clearly feeling confident again, what with his shirt unbuttoned entirely too low, exposing the world to the hirsute neverland of his chest. Aaaand my hatred of him returns.

Anyway, the song was lively and whatnot, and I felt pretty bad for all those mid-level and below singers like Haley and Brandon and Antonella — not because they were overshadowed yet again, but more because they actually all sounded really good. These poor kids are about ten times better with the pressure off. Can you imagine how awesome these rounds would be if there were no nerves? Sadly (or awesomely, for me), the only person who didn’t seem to improve was Alaina, who still sounded beautifully off-key. Her dumb clap didn’t help matters either. She was so a goner. (I hoped.)

Finally, it was time for our first cuts. Ryan told us, “We’re gonna dim the lights and get right into it,” which had me wondering if he was planning on having sex with the contestants. Anyway, he had the back row of guys stand up: Phil, Chris, Sundance, Blake, and Jared. Hmmm… who could it be? Jared, sitting at the end of the row, looked to be totally screwed, and when Ryan said all the other guys were safe and then dragged the hand-humper down to the podium, it looked all but over. But it was a fakeout! Jared was saved! This could only mean bad things for Nick Pedro, the poor sap sitting at the head of the first row. Sure enough, Ryan told him to stand up aaaand go home.

I felt kind of badly. I don’t know why. Nick wasn’t great by any means, but he seemed like a really nice guy, especially with his big, goofy grin. Luckily, he’ll have his girlfriend to go back to, and now they’ll be free to go to pumpkin patches and smile all day long.

“Pumpkins…”

Next, it was time for a female cut, and again, Ryan had the back row rise. I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw this layout: Stephanie, Gina, Sabrina, Melinda, aaaand Alaina. Yeah, Alaina was so done. You knew that Ryan wasn’t going to let the last girl off the hook like Jared. He already did the end-of-the-line fakeout. Besides, the first person in the front row was LaKisha. Yup, this was looking real bad for Alaina.

As predicted, the teary-eyed thrush got the boot, which was sweet satisfaction for me. Alaina stood by Ryan, who then reminded her of all the things the judges had to say about her the night before (none of which were particularly kind). When Ryan read that Simon said she had run out of steam, a snotty Alaina sarcastically remarked, “Clever.” WTF, bitch? You DID run out of steam. Idiot.

Well, Alaina told Ryan that the whole experience had been truly amazing, and furthermore, “I want to thank everyone for voting.” Or, uh, not voting as it were. She then took to the stage one last time and attempted to sing, er, croak her way through “Not Ready To Make Nice” one last time. She was so awful that even she had to apologize multiple times for not being able to sing. I know, I know — she was choked up, but man did it sound awful. And yet, it was amazing. Thankfully, the girls all rushed out around her and gave her hugs, temporarily relieving her of croaking duties. Yes, there was crying and sobbing all around — mostly from the girls, but also from Sundance, whose tears threatened to wilt the mighty power of his trowel-esque goatee. Aaaand he’s earned at least three week’s immunity with that show of emotion.

“I think I have to take a dump.”

“If only I could grow hair on my fingertips…”

After the break, Ryan broke up the action by presenting us with this week’s retarded American Idol Challenge question: who was the big winner at the Grammys this year: Taylor, Carrie, or Reuben. Hmmm… considering the Taylor and Reuben have yet to make any sort of impact on pop culture since they’re departures from AI, I’d have to go with… Chicken Little!

Just to show that they weren’t lying, Ryan then introduced us to last week’s winner of the American Idol Challenge, and GOOD GOD! What is that beast in the front row??? Oh, it’s just the guy who won. And yes, he lived up to scary Internet stereotypes: fat, hairy, bespectacled, unseemly, and suffering from mangled teeth. The women next to him looked utterly pleased to be within his stench.

Ryan then introduced us to this week’s very special musical guest / Idol alumna: Kelly Pickler. Yes, The Pickle returned, AND HOW! Sporting a new set of fake boobs and a dumb, new hairstyle, Kelly looked like she was going on thirty-five (which was not a good thing). I know that haircut is so Nashville, but good God, it was awful. And those breasts. So distractingly huge now…

Anyway, The Pickle and Ryan had some dumb, obviously pre-planned banter about sushi, specifically Spider Sushi, which she didn’t realize wasn’t made out of spiders. Yuk yuk yuk. For all those who ever doubted Kellie’s idiocy last season, this little bit proved that she couldn’t fake her dumbness (otherwise we’d have been left with the stagey dreck that we had just witnessed. Oh, and for the record, it received no laughs).

Well, Kellie sang some song, which I fast forwarded over, and soon enough, we were back to the guys for more cuts. Chris Richardson and Brandon were safe, the latter of which surprised me (I thought he was going home). This just left AJ and Sanjaya. A pit of dread formed in my stomach. Poor AJ was so on the up-and-up, but we knew that he was no match for Sanjaya, who had an unjust legion of idiot teenybopper girls behind him. Sure enough, Sanjaya was saved by the (lack of) hair on his chinny chin chin, which meant a choked-up AJ had to say adios. This really wasn’t fair at all, but hey, it’s what makes Idol great, I guess. Paula, on her feet, announced, “Truthfully, this is a singing competition, and I don’t think tonight reflects that.” Yeah, she was talkin’ about you, Sanjaya. Or as I like to call him, Suckjaya.

Hey Suckjaya, how about you get a shirt that FITS?

Whaaa?

Meanwhile, Randy told AJ to keep on truckin’ because this might not have been the right train for him. Do people usually truck on trains? STOP WITH THE MIXED TRANSPORTATION METAPHORS, RANDY!

Nevertheless, we saw Sundance crying yet again, and soon, it was time for the girls. With time running down, Ryan zipped through most of the bullshit, quickly saying that LaKisha and Haley (!) were safe. This left just Antonella, Leslie, and Jordin to stand up by Ryan. For a second, it looked like Antonella had reached the end of the line, but horny guys and sympathetic fans kept her around. Ryan did the whole “I’m sorry… you’re gonna have to deal with Simon again” bit, and she happily retreated to her seat, leaving just Leslie and Jordin. HMMMM. Who could it be??

Sure enough, Leslie got the axe, causing Gina Glocksen to full-on bawl in her seat. So it’s official: Nina Simone is the kiss of death. AJ and Leslie sang the exact same song, and they both went home. Beware, Idol hopefuls!

Leslie was totally Simoned!

One last thing: does anyone else not really like the use of Chris Daughtry’s “Home” for the goodbye montage. The song itself isn’t bad, but it doesn’t crescendo to anything. It’s just a lazy, acoustic piece. I, for one, AM NOT MOVED!

What did you think about the girls performances? And what about the eliminations?

Comments (40)
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40 Comments

1

TVCheese

Posted March 2, 2007 at 1:44 pm

B-Side, in my opinion, Kellie Pickler looked MUCH older than 35. That make-up, that hair…ugh. She’s a pretty girl, too… what happened?!

Sundance’s crying was killing me. I don’t know what else to say regarding that…

As for the scary beast guy that won the contest… GOOD GOD is right. I just had to walk away from my desk I was laughing so hard. Just the sight of him again made me lose it.
2

TVDog

Posted March 2, 2007 at 1:59 pm

The funniest part of the show, other than weepy Sundance, was Ryan asking Pickle what she’s been spending her money on, obviously refering to her new very tanned twins.

“Just shoes?”
3

Lyndsay

Posted March 2, 2007 at 2:10 pm

I loved the part where Leslie said, “America hates jazz” at the last few seconds of the show. It was really funny!
4

IJustWatch

Posted March 2, 2007 at 2:13 pm

Simon making fun of Paula’s speech was hilarious! “Blub blub blub..”

AND OH MY GOD! I totally missed that beast of a man who so expertly unscrambled MERIANAC DOLI. I just laughed for about 20 minutes to myself, everyone must think I’m crazy. Because I am…..
5

roleepolee

Posted March 2, 2007 at 2:20 pm

I instantly smiled as soon as she openned her mouth. The hair on my neck stood up. I started to get goosebumps, chills, everything. Of course I’m talking about when Antonella Sang a one of the hardest songs to sing, Because you loved me. (Of course, I’m only kidding. Seriously, what is the matter with these girls? Don’t they know they can (and never will be able to) sing a Celine song half decently?).

Doolittle singing My funny valentine has got to be one of the best vocal performances I’ve ever seen, anywhere. I saw it again as soon as the vid was up online (it was during Conan too, so I missed his hilarious comedy sketches. But it was worth it). I must have seen it over 10 times after the episode was over, and it just gets better with each viewing. She is AMAZING, and I love Simon’s comments about her cause he always mentions people with big egos but little talent, and I think it’s because he’s trying to indirectly tell Melinda not to get cocky. I doubt that she will, but you never know (case in point: Kelly Clarkson)

I feel pretty sad for the other contestants now, since I know that they have no chance against Dolittle, Lakisha and Edwards (The Latoya London of season 6). I really do think Jordan, Sabrina, that beat boxing guy, and especially Gina and Chris are all good singers. But how can you compete with voices that are in different leagues? (although Taylor winning last year did prove simon’s statement when he said sometimes this isn’t a singing contest, or somthing like that. And someone here also mentioned that America chooses based on their favorite person, and not the best singer, so you never know what’s going to happen.). But if MD loses this season, it would be a damn shame.
6

Jordan

Posted March 2, 2007 at 2:35 pm

Seacrest completely redeemed every annoying or stupid thing he has ever said on this show when he said “Just shoes?” I could not stop laughing. Pickler looks horrible and is about as smart as my foot.
7

Mrs.Meow

Posted March 2, 2007 at 2:40 pm

Thank you for the screen cap of last week’s winner of the ridiculously easy trivia question. I was especially proud to hear that he was from WI – way to represent!

I would complain more about the contestants that are being voted off, but then I remember that I have never voted. I probably don’t have much of a right to complain.

Oh, who am I kidding? I can and will complain. Be gone, Antonella and Sanjaya!
8

JasonR

Posted March 2, 2007 at 2:47 pm

TVDog (#2) and Jordan (#6), I agree Seacrest’s somewhat subtle reference to Pickler’s really unnatural looking boob job was probably the highlight of the results show. He obviously can be funny when he’s not trying to be some kind of sanctimonious foil to Simon.

I don’t know what they’ve done to pickler. I never cared for her singing or her personality, but she was always pretty cute. Last night between the skin-tight dress, the hair, and the cartoonish Ivanka-like gigantic fake boobs, she’s a 20 year-old who looks like a 40 year-old hooker you’d see hanging out at the bar at the Hard Rock in Vegas. I’ve heard Pickler idolizes Dolly Parton, but even Dolly didn’t look like Dolly when she was so young.

Yes A.J. and Leslie got robbed, but even under the best circumstances the most they could have hoped for was another week or two anyway.

We’ll have to see if Suckjaya is on his way to a Kevin Covais-like improbable run to the top 12. Antonella is clearly this season’s answer to Ryan Starr from season 1.

Thank God Alaina is history. That girl sucked ass.

-JR
9

later-is-now

Posted March 2, 2007 at 2:51 pm

Goodbye, Ann Veal. I think I’ll miss you most of all.
10

georgiababe

Posted March 2, 2007 at 2:56 pm

Oh. My. Goodness. That’s all I have to say about Kellie Pickler’s appearance. I missed the first part of the results show, and when I turned on the TV to watch, I didn’t realize that the channel was already on CTV (the channel in Canada on which American Idol is aired). Anyway, I got once glimpse of Kellie and didn’t even recognize her. I thought it was some middle-aged woman performing on a talk show or something. Then, I saw it. The little American Idol sign in the corner and I realized in horror that it was indeed, Kellie Pickler. My jaw dropped.

What was she thinking exactly, with that hairstyle? It only aged her about 20 years. I never was a fan of Pickler, but sheesh.

Okay, back to the actual results. I’m annoyed that AJ got sent home – I really liked him. And Nick too, actually. I knew that neither would make it very far, but I figure that Jared, Brandon and Sanjaya should get the ax first. Oh well. Hopefully, they’ll be the next to go. As for the girls, I didn’t really care. I liked Leslie, but it’s obvious that the real competition is between Melinda and LaKisha. I hope that Haley and Antonella go next week. I actually like Haley this week, but she still is probably the weakest one left. And Antonella? Ugh. Nobody, NOBODY on Idol has ever done any Celine Dion song justice. Don’t they ever learn? I am totally over that girl. I liked her at the very beginning, but her attitude and her warbly vocals caused me to jump off that train as fast as possible.

Go Melinda! And Chris Sligh!

~Georgia~
11

Foxbase Alpha

Posted March 2, 2007 at 3:05 pm

Attention, Kelli Pickler! Tammy Wynette wants her look back:

http://hometown.aol.com/whiskeyhill1/images/tammy_wynette_picture.jpg

On the bright side, however, the Hee Haw auditions are at the next studio lot over.
12

Foxbase Alpha

Posted March 2, 2007 at 4:18 pm

I’m guessing that Kelli Pickler has a file and spoon implanted in that new rack that she’s gonna use to help spring Daddy from the slammer.
13

Smoke_Rulz

Posted March 2, 2007 at 4:41 pm

Well! This wasn’t as mindblowing of a girl’s night as last week, but hey, let’s not forget the act they followed with last week’s guy’s night. … Actually, I think it’s best we DO forget that night. Except maybe Blake’s performance. This night was a little standard for me, but hey, I gotta give my thoughts anyway. My HIGHLY READABLE thoughts, rite?!?!? Heh:

Gina Glocksen – She’s no Carrie Underwood when it comes to this song, but she did good. Enough to save her for this week, and I certainly do agree with Simon’s comments about being completely confused. This might have lost her some votes, I’m not sure. I’d hate to see her miss Top 12, but with VFTW all over Antonella, just might happen. :/

Alaina Alexander – Once again, I hated her. She became breathless and screamy again. I’m not sure Simon’s comment made as much sense in this context, but Alaina sucked, period. Also what was this whole thing about being inspired not to give up? She was very clearly about to give up if she didn’t get a golden ticket. Does she think we don’t remember this?

LaKisha Jones – Of course not better than last week, but this was still a good performance, although dare I say Paris Bennett had a better time with it last year. This didn’t show off LaKisha’s voice, but hell, after last week, does she even need to? I guess she’s just winding down a little. Also, why does she keep saying she’s nervous? I don’t see her shaking, or making Melinda faces, or faultering in her performances. Either she’s really good at hiding it while openly admitting it, or she’s bold-faced lying.

Melinda Doolittle – Absolutely earth-shattering once more. I have never heard Simon gush over someone quite like this. Melinda has gotta be the greatest vocalist in the history of Idol. It’s going to be an absolute crying shame and a sign of the apocalypse if she does not win this competition.

Antonella Barba – Disgustingly bad. That high note in the middle was good, but nice job completely fucking up the song before it. Better than last week, I’ll give her, but still. I hated it. And to think I liked her going into this. She’s picking horrible songs that don’t showcase her voice and are way too big for her, and so VFTW has their monkey for the season. Grr. >:(

Jordin Sparks – Not an improvement from last week, but damn if I don’t love this girl. And she can really sing. She could have picked a much better song, and maybe controlled her emotions, but oh well. She was good, not much else I can say. I’m still gushy over Melinda.

Stephanie Edwards – Another 10-performance, in my mind. Her performance last week was better, but Stephanie has really become a surprise for this competition. We knew nothing about her, and now she’s our Tamyra/LaToya. Which means she’s probably destined for 4th place, lol. :B

Leslie Hunt – … What the hell was that? Is she trying to be the female Blake Lewis here? That little scat… doo-bop… jazz beatbox… whatever was absolutely retarded, and her voice for the entire song pretty much sucked. She is out this week without a doubt. And I never even realized she was doing the same song as A.J. Silly me.

Haley Scarnato – … And so is she. I thought this was a horrible song choice, she wasn’t really singing much as she was just shouting happily. In a repetitive song with not a lot of lead parts. Turns out it was a WHITNEY song? Oh no. Nice knowing you, Haley.

Sabrina Sloan – A great performance to end the show. Not as good as last week, but solid, and damn if I don’t love this girl as well. It’s all about the black ladies this year. Great on you, Sabrina.

Not much else I can say except that Melinda was once again the performance of the night. She’s pretty much the reason I’m excited for this season, and here’s hoping Sundance stays out of his box too.

As for the results show, the only surprises for me were the eliminations of A.J. (I thought it would be Brandon) and Alaina (I thought it would be Haley). I said last week A.J. was boring me, despite Simon and B-Side and the like enjoying him, and whatta ya know? He’s gone. And I am SUPER HAPPY that Alaina is gone, because I hated the crap out of her, and her demeanor on both shows showed why. I love how she screwed up singing her song too.

Great recap, B-Side. The “Pumpkins…” caption and the Sundance captions got me laughing aloud. I never actually saw the challenge winner either, thanks a lot for screencapping him, because that is insanely funny. XD And by the way, Kellie was awful. Lucky bastard with your TiVo. >:D

And I think using Daughtry for the montage is great, although I think the normal version of “Home” might sound better than the acoustic.
14

The Soapmaker

Posted March 2, 2007 at 4:58 pm

I’m pretty shocked that AJ and Leslie got voted out on those performances. Remind me never to sing “Feelin’ Good” if I enter a talent contest (not likely…).

At least now AJ can get out the dress and heels and follow his natural career path…

Great to see the back of Alaina “sense of entitlement” Alexander. Pity she seems to have passed some of that attitude on to Antonella.
15

Dellahoochie

Posted March 2, 2007 at 5:10 pm

Hello Everyone – first post ever for me! Love your recaps though, B-Side.

I almost spit out my dinner laughing when Ryan asked Kellie “really – just shoes?” I can’t believe you left that out!

I was totally not happy with AJ getting the boot, I actually think I liked his performance the best of the guys ! (guess I should have voted)

Alaina was incredibly annoying especially with the finger in the air when she sings so I am glad she is gone.
16

goobs

Posted March 2, 2007 at 5:20 pm

Is it just me that thinks that Antonella totally deserved to go, but her little naughty pic scandal has actually helped her out in the end. I wonder if the other girls resent her for that…
17

Miss Information

Posted March 2, 2007 at 5:28 pm

That wig was definitely from the Tammy Wynette collection. My redneck friend thought it WAS Tammy Wynette, which isn’t very flattering to the Pickle, considering Ms. Wynette died like a decade ago.
18

NateTheOkay

Posted March 2, 2007 at 6:05 pm

I’m going to get flamed for this, I know, but…

Kellie Pickler was one of my favorite contestants ever. Her singing wasn’t always the best, but her personalty was miles ahead of so many others on this show. It’s a shame she’s got a 50 year old’s up-do and a look straight from the Grande Ole Opry. They really need to change that.

Anyway, as much as some people hated her, I loved her and having her back just reminds me how little personality any of the girls this year have.

Oh, and according to dialidol.com, Sanjaya finished second this week despite giving one of the worst performances of the season so far. What a joke.

Oh, and I’m glad you pointed out Alaina’a bitter “Clever” remark. All my sympathy for her went out the window at that point. Simon wasn’t even trying to be clever when he said that; he was just pointing out the fact that her song died about half-way through, hence her elimination.
19

Hypnotommy

Posted March 2, 2007 at 6:18 pm

Did anybody else think that Melinda was sending a message with the dedication and song choice?…Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
20

miggs

Posted March 2, 2007 at 6:47 pm

B-side,

You are the best!

You only wanted Haley to sing “I Wanna Dance With Someone” just so you could pretend you were at the opening of Area with Audrina and Heidi.
21

cdrivanova

Posted March 2, 2007 at 8:23 pm

Great recap, B-Side, as usual. I’m surprised you didn’t put a screen cap up of Antonella sticking out her tongue and totally rolling her eyes when the judges were commenting on her performance. It just eptomized her better-than-thou attitude … she’s truly the precocious monster that Simon mentioned.

I think it would do people like Antonella and Alaina (now thankfully gone!) to remember Paris Bennett: no matter what you thought of her as a person or a singer, regardless of what the judges said, she always smiled and said “thank you”. I always admired that about her.

Melinda was amazing. As I watched her perform, I thought “If that was available on CD now, I’d buy it.” She was phenomenal and definitely my pick for our NEXT American Idol.
22

Rock Star

Posted March 2, 2007 at 8:45 pm

Hypnotommy- huh?

Just so you know, B-side, girls don’t have falsetto. Girls have a head voice, and that’s what Antonella did in her song. By the way, I hate her. The judges tell you that an Aerosmith song was too big for you, so you go and do Celine? Huh?

I’m quite annoyed that Leslie went home. I voted for her, and she’s right, America really doesn’t appreciate jazz… AJ should also have stayed. As far as Nick leaving, I could care less. THat’s what you get for picking the single most overdone song in the HISTORY OF TIME.

I HATE ALAINA. What the hell was she thinking, trying to tackle Not Ready to Make Nice? And could someone explain to me why guys think she’s so fucking hot? I seriously don’t see it…at all…

Jordin Sparks is obviously a really good singer, but she really annoys me. When Ryan asks her a question, and she just babbles on, I just want to tell her to SHUT UP!!!!!!! I suppose I would feel that way about any 17-year old, tho…

Sanjaya better come out with some Justin Timberlake or something next week, because him singing classic songs clearly isn’t working…

Why was Sundance so hysterical????? The way he was bawling you would have thought that like, his mom had died or something.

In conclusion, I hate America. Leslie should still be around.
23

Shollia

Posted March 2, 2007 at 11:54 pm

UUUUGH,,, Why on freaking earth is Antonella still there? WHYYYYY??
And why is Sanjaya still there???
Good god I just don’t want to see them anymore.
I was actually a Sanjaya fan when we saw him audition, but the hell if I’m ever gonna vote for him if he’s just gonna suck some big ole donkey nuts now.

And don’t even get me started on that stupid ass comment Antonella made.
Saying how they were wrong about JH? Uhm.. HUH? I bet she was rehearsing that since Sunday night not realizing that the JUDGES were actually the ones to get JH through and that AMERICA voted her ass off.

Good god these people peeve me off!!!

I swear if she makes it to the top freaking 12 I’m gonna be pissed.
24

sweet j

Posted March 3, 2007 at 4:16 am

NatetheOkay – I agree with you, I always liked Kellie Pickler. Her charming stupidity combined with her troubled background is really endearing. And she’s a perfectly good singer as well.

Hypnotommy – funny. Never thought that about Melinda. I don’t think she was sending gay vibes though. I think those were just her girlfriends (although I thought the slam against Gayle as a sidekick was pretty funny).

I love Melinda’s voice but her neckless look is very distracting, she’s just a weird looking young lady, it’s hard to picture her in the industry.

Also, this whole uber humble, nervous laughter thing she does with the judges is irritating. I hope she doesn’t start to do it more b/c simon has praised her for it – it seems disingenuous.
25

hollabackboy

Posted March 3, 2007 at 12:54 pm

Did anyone else catch onto the little joke Ryan made about Kellie’s boobs? When he asked her what has she bought since the show, she gave some answer, then he said “Is that all you bought?”. Maybe it was just me, but I really think Ryan was subtly trying to ask “Did you get a boob job?”.

But anyways, as for the girls, I liked Stephanie, Melinda, Gina, & Lakisha the best. The right people went home also. I did like Nick Pedro, however, but I think “Fever” would have been a better song to audition with or go to Hollywood week with. The song was a little too safe for the voting stage I think, although I did like it.
26

hollabackboy

Posted March 3, 2007 at 12:55 pm

^ Oh never mind, didn’t see those other posts. Guess it wasn’t just me.
27

Elimare

Posted March 3, 2007 at 1:43 pm

‘fat, hairy, bespectacled, unseemly, and suffering from mangled teeth.’

oh jesus b-side I’m in TEARS here. I must have walked out of the room or something cos I missed this guy. Had to stop reading the re-cap it took me 10 minutes to stop laughing.
28

raggedy_andy

Posted March 3, 2007 at 3:11 pm

Loved Melinda still of course. I really do hope she doesn’t get cocky despite her awesomeness. I can imagine her winning even with her quirks. Once she takes the stage it’s like she gets in the zone. It’s sort of funny that, once she’s done with her song and gets ready for the judges comments, it’s almost an instant transformation from amazing singer to timid girl.

It sucks that AJ went. I definitely didn’t think he was going to win, but he seemed at least good enough to be in the top 12, not that the top 6 guys would be amazing overall or anything with this group. If I know my cousins, they’d tell him he didn’t use his Eagle Powers. *sigh* It’s getting so monochromatic again…

Hypnotommy (#19), after the boys, I didn’t really pay attention to the dedications. If you want to think that way, I believe Jared’s dedication was to his parents, but he chose to sing “Let’s Get It On”… mmmmm, awkward…

B-Side, “exposing the world to the hirsute neverland of his chest”… mmmmm, delicious…
29

626

Posted March 3, 2007 at 4:45 pm

I’m amazed that Antonella is still in this. In the past Idol has disquilified people for things like this but they seem to be ignoring it here.

Or are they? It also seems that the judges have been particularly hard on Antonella the last 2 weeks. Sure she’s not great, but she’s not horrible either. Maybe the judges are trying to sway the voters not to vote for her so they do not have to look like the bad guys by disqualifying her themselves. Like Simon said about Jennifer Hudson, America voted her out, not the judges.
30

newtrino

Posted March 4, 2007 at 10:49 am

The stupid act is not working for Pickles anymore. Once you get giant breast implants, consider your innocence LOST.
31

jelliepair

Posted March 5, 2007 at 7:56 am

BSide – Fabulous recap as usual.

Thank god Alaina is gone – she was so awful – I cant believe she made it past last week! Melinda is fabulous but she needs to FIRE her “gayle”. She needs someone to cut her hair so it looks like she has a neck instead of giving her some sweeping hairdo that makes her look like her head is afixed ontop of her shoulders like a bobble doll. And dress her in something that does not look like she is on her way to the PTO meeting.

Kelly Pickler looked so god-awful, I felt bad for her. Whoever is styling her should be fired too. The hair was PTO worthy but how she was packed into that dress made me think of that line in “Steel Magnolias” that went something like her ass “looked like two pigs fucking under a blanket” or something like that. She needs to lay off all her new found favorite foods because Pickler is getting a bit thick. And her new “girls” were out and proud. Did you notice the faces of Randy, Paula and SImon when she came out? They were definately critiquing her song and her appearance – wish those mics were on!

Lastly, Paula isnt much fun this season – they must have changed her medication – I miss the old and nonsensicle Paula. Bring back the seal clap!!
32

Die_MediaWhores

Posted March 5, 2007 at 10:31 am

Melinda dedicating her song to her Idol-hired consultants was kinda sad, but at the same time very fitting. They are the ones helping her break out of her shell, after all! TAKE THAT, Mom and Grandma!

The contrived Pickler/Seacrest “joke” about the spider sushi was painful. It mighta worked last season, Pickler, but now we can see that your dumb routine is as fake as your boobs. Oh, and Tanny Wynette called. She wants her hairstyle back.
33

tulip618

Posted March 5, 2007 at 11:33 am

i am not a kellie pickler fan by any means, but i do have to say that i see her out in nashville pretty frequently and her new haircut looks MUCH better in person, and when it is straight.

i’m so glad ryan called her on her new purchase, it was hilarious.
34

jennae

Posted March 5, 2007 at 2:44 pm

Oh the joy that AJ’s arm swinging brought me. I’m so sad to see him go. Dammit.
35

illfan1999

Posted March 5, 2007 at 3:42 pm

˜I couldn’t even imagine what Randy would say about “These Dreams.” He’d probably label it death metal.’

˜”We’re gonna dim the lights and get right into it,” which had me wondering if he was planning on having sex with the contestants.’

Oh, B-Side. You slay me every time! And by slay I mean force me to laugh out loud at work so everyone around me thinks I’m nuts. Thank you for being awesome.

I don’t watch the results shows, and all I have to say is Kellie Pickler-what is wrong with her? Was there a double your ccs for free day at her plastic surgeon’s or something? Yikes.
36

roleepolee

Posted March 5, 2007 at 6:53 pm

These dreeeams go on when I close my eyyyeees,
Every seeecond of the night, I live another li~fe!

Pretty hardcore man…
37

Rock Star

Posted March 5, 2007 at 9:03 pm

JelliePair-WTF? People gain weight, it happens. She’s human. She’s a singer, not a model.

I’m still annoyed about Leslie being voted off. Good job, AMERICA, you voted off a girl with an autoiummune disease!
38

Faith E. Dantzler {4rm g-ville-bama

Posted April 9, 2007 at 2:51 pm

hey waz up i totally love sanjiah or how eva u spell his name
39

tina k

Posted April 11, 2007 at 4:32 pm

sanjaya has got to go he can’t sing at all and their were others who could sing way better than him. i will never watch american idol again unless they vote him off!!!!!!!!
40

Louise7

Posted October 31, 2008 at 11:09 pm

Good news for you Melinda Doolittle fans! She’s set to release her debut album titled, Coming Back to You on Hi-Fi Recordings in January 09. Produced by Grammy-nominated producer Mike Mangini (Joss Stone, Run DMC, The Jonas Brothers), Coming Back to You was recorded with a team of live musicians in Nashville and New York City.

The first single, “It’s Your Love” will be released to radio in October.

“Keep yourself updated with Melinda’s career at melindasbackups.

melindasbackups.com is a web site owned by Melinda Doolittle. Melinda’s Backupsâ„¢ is a non-profit supportive association inspired by Melinda and authorized by her to operate this web site on behalf of her fans.