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Tonight on American Idol, America made this face:
Last week, Matt Gums Giraud was saved from elimination. Some people credit Simon, others credit Church Lady Gokey.
God just save him and I’ll spend my monthly glasses allowance on a poor person.
His fellow contestants jumped up and down when the save was used. Well, most of them. Little tried not to throw up.
I’m screwed.
We get a shot of a couple in the audience that I assume is famous. Who knows? To me they just look like a before and after demonstration at a plastic surgeon.
Would you rather look like an old rocker or a whorebot? In 2009, it’s up to you!
Hello judges! Randy isn’t wearing a Mister Rogers sweater or neon stripes. He’s just in a t-shirt. Has that ever happened? To keep original, he spins a basketball on his index finger.
Harlem Globesitter
Skara shows off her armpit dimples..
…and Paula gives Love the Longhorns signs. She looks like she just got off the floor of her QVC showroom.
Plastic diamonds stick to this chick like flies on poopy.
Simon is in his undershirt. I’m surprised he’s even still showing up. I figured he’d be doing this via satellite sitting on a toilet with a cig hanging out of his mouth and a Hello! Magazine in his hand by now.
Is it break time yet?
I have to say, some of the audience signs are great this week. One says Go Go Gokey. How creative! I hope he takes that sign’s advice and goes. This is my personal fave.
All Saturday Night Fever lacks is more head.
Tink calls the contestants out, reminds us it’s disco night, and pushes Little center stage to sing “I’m Every Woman”. Every woman watching this show just turned around to make sure their ass didn’t multiply. Wow. No video package? Nothing? GO! This girl was the apple of the producers’ eyes a couple weeks ago. Now she’s just shoved out there in the shit spot. Ouch. And why would Lil choose a Chaka song that Whitney covered? That’s just stupid. Poor Little hasn’t learned her lesson. But she looks great! We’ve only known her for a short time, but her weave’s grown out by four years.
Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your weave!
The girl sure knows how to work her assets. That catsuit looks fine. Hilariously fine. Her butt and weave and boobs all bounce around together well. I’m trying to start on a positive note. You like that?
Thanks for wrapping up those hams for me.
She doesn’t do anything to change the song up, and she has chosen to start with a little of the chorus straight into the bridge, which is just a lot of oohs and ahhs and “come on!”s. Why? Why? Why? If we hadn’t had shots all season of the vocal coaches, this wouldn’t be so confusing. Someone is paid to help out these kids. Her pitch is questionable, but it’s not as off key as usu….wait. Ouch. She gets to the end, opens her mouth really wide, and makes a really loud choking/gargling sound. For her big last note (and by last I mean last ever on this show, but for the byebye number), she does her signature “pull the mic away from my mouth so no one hears me choke this note to death” move.
The mic just breathed a sigh of relief.
I have rooted for Lil from the beginning. She showed a lot of promise, so it’s sad to see her flail around instead of coming into her own. The judges have told her every which way that she needs to show some originality, but she doesn’t get it. Sad. BYE!
Yay! Lil’s coming home!! WOOHOOOOOO!
Randy says it was big and energetic but it didn’t show off any kind of originality. Skara says she has waited for some Chaka from Lil, but it wasn’t worth the wait. Ouch. She also said that Lil has been every woman on the stage. Every woman but herself! Deep, Skara. Deep. Then she tells Lil that in order to work in this business with that amount of originality, she’s gonna have to learn to make this face.
Alright, that’s just rude.
I hope Skara runs into Lil’s mom in the parking lot.
Skara ends her critique with “but you look great!” LOL. Thanks. Paula tells us that Lil has been sick and on vocal rest so she gives her props for singing decently. Sorry, America fell for that line with Megan Doi and all it bought us was another week of severe cranial pain. Fool us once, shame on you. Fool us twice, shame on Ford. Fool us three times, shame on Coke. I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s liberating to shame products. Try it! Paula continues that Chaka channeled her inner goddess but Lil didn’t.
But there’s glitter on my face!
Simon pouts about Lil pouting. Lil smiles and says she had a lot of fun. He responds that that’s good, cuz it’s probably her last time on the show so she may as well enjoy it. LOL.
Get the bat.
Lil tells Tink that she wasn’t karaoke at all and she changed it up from Chaka’s version. And then some guy, I’m assuming her dad, yells “that ain’t how Chaka sings it!” HAHAHAHAHA. Lil points in the camera and says “America votes! America votes!” Ah, delusion.
Krispy Twink is next, and he’s singing “She Works Hard for the Money”. HAH. Was “Private Dancer” taken? Tink asks him WTF and he says that he picked the song cuz it’s “about…a woman. Who works.” Take the hint, Krispy Wife! He’s playing guitar today with a bass player and conga guy. And this dude, who beats a box. No, not beat boxes. Beats a box.
This is a profession? Sign me up. I can play my desk.
Krispy has a thin, bland voice and struggles to reach anything out of a single octave, but it’s good to hear him take a disco song and change it into a white boy whine anthem. The way his face contorts, you’d think he’s belting out high C’s, but he’s just trying to make it to the chorus. But he sure is pretty.
“Dad’s dead! Dad’s dead! Dad’s dead! Dad’s dead! Dad’s dead! Dad’s dead! ” – Arnie, What Ever Happened to Gilbert Grape?
His mustache is still trying to come out, and I can’t stop staring at it. I wanna spit on a napkin and wipe his face like a mommy. This is one of the first times that someone’s come up with something really original and should have just stuck with the original original. The audience is going to go bonkers for this one, but you know Donna Summer’s sitting at home with this look on her face.
He misses more keys than he hits, and watching him is painful. One day his jaw is gonna fly right off his face. I predict a life of difficult chewing.
Krispy Wife will be mashing up lots of food for this guy.
Finally, when the song is done, his real talent shines through.
Horizontal stripes. Great idea.
The audience goes nuts, and Skara says that his “big risk” paid off big time. Paula says it had a classy Santana feel. That’s the first word I think of when I think of Santana. Class.
Then Paula gets her prewritten critiques messed up and tells him that a lot of women shop in the mens department but not a lot of men shop in the womens department. She’s gonna tell Hambert that he looks ten and has the cutest sideways semi retarded face she’s ever seen. Simon calls for the translator and Paula says Simon shops in the womens department. Not one person out of the hundreds in the audience laughs. Simon doesn’t care if he likes ladies underwear, it was original and fantastic. Randy thinks Krispy is prepared for the big time. Krispy and Twink stand there with their arms around each other while America cringes uncomfortably.
Uh oh. Tink’s wearing Skara’s bj face. Hide your salami, Krispy.
Church Lady is next with Earth Wind and Fire’s “September”. He doesn’t bother trying to start this one off softly, opting instead to come out of the gate yelling his head off. The arrangement is the same as the original, but it’s more exciting because Earth Wind and Fire never really committed to dancing like Church Lady does. Wow. He does the slide, he kicks, he punches, he points at the audience. He’s whiter than communion bread. The handsome, defined movie star chin he’s shaven for himself is the perfect topping on this cheese platter. I’m sure that really looks good when he’s standing up straight and sucking in his cheeks in front of the mirror.
Robert Redford!
Just when I thought I couldn’t enjoy this performance any more, he breaks into the Church Lady Dance.
I am already giving a standing ovation, and then he tops himself by doing a full on girl run to the front of the stage.
If you don’t win this thing, you’ll still have a very good shot of being the next spokesperson for Luna Bars.
He sounds exactly the same as he does every single week. Same tone, same growl, same yell. If you like him, you are very happy tonight and if you don’t like him, well at least he danced. He ends in a kick pose. LOL. This guy’s too ridiculous not to like at least a little bit, right?
Nope. Still hate.
The Gokey family discovers empire waists. All at the same exact time.
Randy was worried but thinks he took a simple song and worked it out. Thanks for contributing. Now you can go back to relaxing in your Sunkist hot tub.
Skara was worried too, and relates Church Lady doing disco to Simon wearing a plaid shirt. I think she’s making a reference to man boobs, but I’m not sure. She gives him credit for always being on pitch but hopes that it’s remembered at the end of the night. He takes her critique in condescendingly like she’s a four year old trying to make it through the alphabet.
Keep going. You can do it, hon.
Paula is impressed with his vocal agility and likes that he chose to yell higher than usual instead of showing any originality. These judges are total hypocrites, but we already knew that so let’s just move on. She adds that he has the sexiest voice ever. Well isn’t that
SPECIAL?!?!
Simon agrees with the others, but says he didn’t see any star power and found the performance a bit awkward and clumsy instead of SPECIAL. LOL. Cowell, never leave me. Tink slips “worked late into the night on that one!” into his number pimping while Church Lady makes a heart with his hands. ARGH. I wish I was in the front row with a water gun. I’ve always loved that game at the carnival where you shoot water into the clown’s mouth.
Cholaheta’s up next with “Hot Stuff”. She’s sitting on the lit stairs, which are red because that’s the only color they ever give Chola. That’s follicle profiling and should be outlawed. I cross my fingers that her plastic pants don’t melt onto those stairs, cuz I love Chola and that would be awkward.
Put a towel down first.
The camera gets closer and closer as she croons out the beginning like a ballad. What the hell is she wearing? She looks like she’s about to go diving. Into a bin of three month old four for one candy at the 99 cent store.
Deep Bin Diver
At least she’s got a glitter bra and a half sweater to balance it all out. She stands up and the outfit becomes even more fascinating. If there’s ever a spinoff of Rock of Love Bus that takes place on public transportation, she’s gonna win that shit. The arrangement stays slow, and that’s the only change. Like Church Lady, she’s pretty much the same as always. Unlike Church Lady, she doesn’t make me want to butcher my eardrums slowly with cuticle scissors. She changes it up a bit at the end and does some Christina riffs. Chola, I didn’t know you had it in you! Loved it and love her, but I think Simon’s Church Lady critique about this being the time in the competition to do something special also applies here.
Randy thinks the arrangement was indulgent but she’s one of the best singers here. Skara didn’t like the arrangement either, but it was the right song and her vocals were a nine out of ten. Paula says that compromise isn’t a word that should be in her musical vocabulary and then babbles on about edginess and veering off roads and mowing down Curve Ahead signs. Simon calls her the underdog and says the performance was brilliant. Tink gives her numbers and says “Randy it’s a hot one tonight!”, which makes Chola die laughing into his arms. Sorry, Chola, but you’re no Krispy.
Uh, get her off me.
Hambert is in a suit tonight with shoulder pads that rival Alexis Morell Carrington Dexter Rowan Colby’s.
Ham’s also wearing a Mohawk, which is like a fauxhawk, but bigger, gayer, shiner, and Liza sideburn-ier. He’s singing “If I Can’t Have You” from Saturday Night Fever. He hits a nice balance of not screaming the whole thing and not whispering the whole thing and melds both of his best vocal qualities together in a pretty killer arrangement. He starts soft and gives us a straight forward ballad verse, and then takes it to a belt, then a higher belt, and then his nasal screech thing that he does, ending in a solid, perfectly pitched high B. Dang, boy. It sounds great, and he’s making me nuts. I love him one week, want to make the screeching stop the next, and then love him again. I still like “Mad World” the best, but this one came close. Now he’ll show up next week in assless chaps and fake eyelashes to screech out “I Love Rock n Roll” or some horseshit. But today, LOVE. Paula can’t get up and dance like a drunken secretary on the yearly office party cruise, so she tries her best to squeeze out a couple salties. It doesn’t work, but we get an awesomely frightening closeup.
Thanks. Now none of us will sleep.
Paula gives him a standing o, and so does his family. But I’m worried. After such a perty love song about not having who you want….WHERE’S BABY BOTTOM?!?!
Back of Ham, suspenders! He’s taken!
Skara is shaking her head in reverence. LOL. She’s ridiki. Randy says that he’s a star and is ready now. Skara whines about how brilliant he is and is inspired. To whine a lot. Paula says “I’ve never questioned my visceral response when you perform” and then her head explodes for remembering that word in for forty five minutes. She says that she felt the pain of his heart being ripped out and thrown on the floor. That’s called a hangover, you lush. Have a sip of Coke. The minute she’s done talking, she shuts down like one of those animatronic fiberglass characters at Chuck E Cheese.
Show’s over, kids. Come back in twenty minutes for more.
Ham needs to tell his friends to f ing dress up if he’s gonna give them some free tickets.
We’re glad you shaved this morning, but put on some pants.
Simon says he woulda bet thousands that Ham was gonna sing Donna Summer. HAHA.
What’s that supposed to mean?
Simon calls it brilliant and all that good stuff. I just wish Ham would extend some of his vocal bravery to his skin. Stop hiding your freckles, ginger! They’re way cuter than eight pounds of base. As Tink starts spouting off numbers, Paula tries to adjust the clothespins behind her wig that keep her face on. She must have really pissed off a camera man.
Ham gives credit to the guy who helped him with the arrangement. Aw. Gums Giraud is next with “Stayin’ Alive”. He’s got a skinny tie, a pleather member’s only jacket, and a straw fedora to hide the newborn on his forehead. Ouch. That outfit hurts. He’s so desperate not to go home that he hijacks an American cargo ship.
All he needs is a parrot on his shoulder.
The judges always give him shit for changing his voice from week to week, so instead of just choosing something and sticking to it, he does all of his voices in one song. It’s like a showcase. Or a Danny Gans performance. He starts rock and roll, then slips into a painful JT falsetto riffs, then goes into his R and B mode, then moves on to some Michael Jackson moves, and back into straight up riff land. He ends on a breathless fals riff/beg/whimper that he half misses. The only move he didn’t pull out tonight was his infamous wiener grab, and that might have actually brought in five votes from me alone. The funny thing is that even though he did like ten styles and flailed around like a drowning child, he still had moments that were vocally better and more confident than anything he’s done so far. If only he could make those parts extend for a whole song, he’d be ok. But he can’t. He’s screwed. I feel for him though. If he took off that hat and extended it towards me, I would totally drop a piece or two of Orbit in there.
Randy didn’t like the song or the arrangement, but says Gums can really sing. Skara thinks that it wasn’t as good as Ham, but still good. Paula says Gums sings like she bowls. Sometimes he hits gutter balls, and sometimes he spends time in the mens room trying to jerk off drunk white trash for a free drink and her bowling shoe fee cuz she always leaves her wallet at home. She’s confident that he’s gonna stay this week. Simon didn’t like it. He calls it desperate, vocally mediocre, and unoriginal.
Noop is next up. And nothing says disco like a pink sweater, pink tie, blue office shirt, and beige suit.
Uh..nope
He’s singing “Dance the Night Away”. His first note is off key, which is a bad sign. Tonight he’s doing a Gokey impression. He’s trying out a smokey, gravelly thing and it’s sad to see him grasping like that. If you’re ripping off Church Lady it’s time to go home. The song starts off all slow and ballady, which gives him time to point at the camera and put his hand to his heart meaningfully, and then it revs up….into a waltz? WTF is this? He’s singing about dancing the night away and the music is all acoustic guitars and soft shakers. This song should be called “We’re Gonna Dance Til Lawrence Welk Kicks Us Out of the PBS Studio.” UhNope tries very very hard, and it’s very very painful to watch. But I’m sure his taxes were in on time, so I congratulate him for that. He cracks out the last note off key, and thank goodness I don’t close my eyes as I cringe, cuz now I can see his really poor eyebrow-scaping. The one on the right is way smaller than the one on the left. I’ve never been a fan of UhNope, but I’ve never felt like sending him a Get Well Soon card before tonight.
He gives an “oh well” look as the lights go down, and the audience loses their shit anyway. Randy calls him out on the bad note and lame arrangement, but says that UhNope is a good singer and the entire Top 7 is great. Skara loved the song choice and enjoyed the arrangement and thinks that he has done his best work the past two weeks. Paula likes his pink and wants him to smile more. I was hoping for another bowling story. Simon says it was mediocre at best, a horrible version of the song, and genuinely his worst performance by a mile.
Can I go now? I still haven’t watched last night’s Medium.
What did you guys think? I’m guessing Lil and Anoop are out, but Gums could replace Lil on the Greyhound. See you at the results show!! xo
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41 Comments
Snaps to Flippit for getting this gasm out in record time!
I thought the episode was actually kinda lame and boring even though the top 7 is like the best ever group that they’ve had.
I mean DISCO?? Really??
Oh well, they tried I guess.
I somehow missed Anoops whole performance. I remember the skinny tie guy dancing around and being a weird combination of great and terrible. And then there was Adam Lambart being the most handsome gay I’ve ever seen. How DARE he be so fine!! But I must have gotten distracted by something shiny and paused the TiVo before Anoop came out.
Lil looked AMAZING in that spandex and was it my imagination or did Allison fall over on those giant heels and then cover it up by wiggling her top half a lot and later by falling over on Ryan??
Next to go: Lil and Anoop.
Love the recaps!
Flipit, I’m reading this recap at work, trying not to laugh. Instead, I spit my black tea latte on the screen. Have mercy! Some of us are trying to surf on company time!
I’m curious as you didn’t mention: What’s your take on what composes a “Puddle of Abdul”?
I’m thinking: one part vodka, one part crushed Vicodin, two very large parts silicone, shaken hard and tossed over the rocks (i.e., Simon’s balls). And enjoy!
This recap was SO funny. “Now you can go back to relaxing in your Sunkist hot tub” made me laugh for like 4 minutes. So good! I don’t even watch AI but I read your recaps because they are so great. Thanks Flipit!
Flipit, this is one of the funniest things i have ever read. Right on the money about white boy Gokey, and the visual of Ham in assless chaps and false eyelashes literally made me laugh until i was sick. At least i think it was the laughing making me sick. It could have just been the visual.
I never miss the show but I always have to read your recaps Fipit because you always catch the great things – like Ryan’s face when Chola fell into him. It’s like that story Michael Jackson told in his Bashir interview about Tatum O’Neil comming on to him when they were both teenagers. He said he got scared and ran out of the bedroom. I bet he screamed all the way home.
I wish Lil would take Danny with her when if she goes home tonight.
jennaboa…I believe that’s “pool of Abdul,” but you got the recipe right.
Shoot me…I actually liked Kris for the first time ever. But I get tired of Hambert’s calculated performances…especially when he starts channeling Axl Rose’s old cat-stuck-under-a-snowplow scream.
The costumer should be shot for making a 16 year old girl look like a cheap hooker with a rubber fetish.
I believe Lil and Gums are headed home…and I won’t miss ‘em.
one more thing…when Ry-Ry wasgiving out his number, Adam was staring at him with absolute adoration. Me thinks someone has a little crush…
Thanks again for the laughs! “Sunkist hot tub” comic gold! Harlem Globesitter hahahaha. AI sux but you make it great! Suspect Lil and Anoop are gone.
Very funny recap. The line about Paula shutting down like a Chuck E. Cheese character had me good.
Kris was great last night.
For the record, Anoop sang “Dim All the Lights” by Donna Summer. Not very well, I might add.
flipit, those screencaps of the Hokey Gokey had me laughing so hard I got a stitch in my side, and the Sunkist hot tub? Brilliant! If I had the right parts, I would be on a plane to LA right now to propose to you, because you are just that funny. Shit, I might just do it anyway.
Thank you thank you, bow bow, Mr. Flip!!!! You never cease to amaze me with your speed and wit!
I’m with Cattyfan, Kris rocked, I can’t believe you didn’t like that Flip . . . and tho he’s not the best singer, nor does he exude star power (for him, for me) but he is SMART and CREATIVE–full props on arrangement, placement in his range, hitting the highs just right with a twist of the chin–the guys really doing great, and if they didn’t give him good reviews I was gonna scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do wish he could dress up a bit, might help with the whole lack of “stah” thing . . .
Danny was dullsville, duller and duller week to week, but I saw shades of a chunky George Michael there. He’s seeming a tad less douchy, and I saw some pics of them at a baseball game and I swear he was making a drag face me and my friend always don in our campiest moments (flip I can send it if you want proof! ; )
Thought Chol was amazing, yes, a tad awkward in outfit, but it must have been hard to sing a song from David Duchovney’s heart being only 16–my favorite disco song evah–I bet in the archives I’m crying somewhere that no one has done it before.
Hammy was ok, gums, kinda terrible to me, uhnope!!! okay, enough kiddo, Lil I thought wasn’t as bad as all that, I was glad to see her try, but to pick a song that’s been done by 2 diva’s, then done on this show by a handful–she really doesn’t get it, but they were harsh! Sorry Lil . . . enjoy those adorable kids!!!
omg – that first pic of Kara is seriously frightening! Makes her look like an extra from Return of the Hideous Skin Folds..ick!
I am such a bad person, but I kinda hate Anoop, so when Ryan commented about his “groucho marx” eyebrows and he was clearly embarrassed I laughed way too hard! Don’t let the door hit you on the way back to H&R Block, Anoop!
Although, I kind of dislike Churchlady more…he just bores me to tears, and I feel like he is really full of himself (some might argue that Adam is also full of himself, but I feel like he hides it better!)
Either way – superb recap!
Oh, and Flip it, guys always have water pistols handy, just drink some beer! hee
cattyfan: Hahaha, you’re right! Puddle, pool — she was a melted mess. I really can’t blame her — Adam did a great job last night.
Also forgot to say, on the screencap of Paula adjusting her clothes pins–I’ve noticed every time the camera is on her she’s got her hand buried in tacky jewelry always in the shot–is it me!?
Awesomely funny as always, Flippit.
I kept thinking that they could have (and SHOULD have)given Gokey the exact same criticism, word for word, that they gave Little (well, maybe not the part about looking pretty). Both sucked, and both sucked for the same reasons — unoriginal, shouty, off-key, etc. Yet they praise him and give her shite. I figured right about then was when Little’s parents would take a truncheon to the judges. They both suck equally, you biased pigs.
I dug Kris and Adam. I thought Chola was decent, but the outfit distracted me with its complete inappropriateness and general stickiness (I assume). Ucky.
I like Matt, but it did come across as desperate and sad. Anoop’s been dead to me for a long time.
My hope for the ouster? Lil and Danny. It’ll apparently never happen, so I’ll go with Lil and Anoop.
Very funny recap, Flipit, thanks! “Now you can go back to relaxing in your Sunkist hot tub” had me peeing my pants. BTW, didn’t Randy have gastric bypass surgery, he’s gaining all that weight back like crazy.
I’m so underwhelmed with the show now. No one pops, the entire show is just BLAH – even Adam’s angelic singing of his ballad, didn’t work for me. I completely expected him to do what he did and there was no Wow moment. How can anyone say this is the best top 7 ever? How can the judges be as deluded as they seem to be when they doll out praise on CL, Ham, Kris? Poor Matt, he had one great night with “Human Nature” but failed to follow that shit up. I loved Kris last week but probably because I just love “Falling Slowly.” Overall, very disappointing. I’m done watching.
One more thing. Who the hell is dressing Chola? That pleather girdle? You can totally see her fat girl belly button outline. She’s 16; somebody needs to stop her from making those regrettable fashion decisions that will haunt her when she’s in her 20s. I mean we all have those pictures we cringe out when we visit our parents’ house, but this girl has videos that will play forever on youtube and reruns of Idol Playback. Mama Chola, I’m looking at you. Stop your daughter. She’ll thank you later.
GREAT recap! I thought Chola looked great, but then felt guilty cause she’s jail bait. Lil looked pretty good, too, but man did her singing stink (I feel a “lil” better knowing she played the sick card.)
I liked Kris’s song, but Adam and Chola were the best. Lil should go home, but I’m not counting on it. I pick Matt for the other one. I also though Anoop did poorly – it could be his last night, too.
Allison should make the the final two and head right for the recording studio, IMHO, but she still could go home for lack of a big enough fan base.
HIGH-LARIOUS! Great recap Flip! I laughed and laughed! I still have tears in my eyes. I also liked the “sunkist hot tub” line as so many others have mentioned. Good job!
I really don’t get what people see in Allison. She has good nights, but final 2? I thought she was awful last night. Singing aside, I thought the song was inappropriate for a 16 year old, and to have her in an ugly diving suit (LOL Flipit!) was awkward as well.
I agree with whoever said that her mom should stop her from making these atrocious fashion choices. Did they fire the Glam Squad? Things are getting out of hand!
Flipit, as always, I love you!
I honestly CANNOT understand the whole Lambert fervor. I think he’s indescribably re-damn-diculous, and all this “originality” talk just seems to translate into “hot mess” whenever I hear him.
I had such hope for Anoop, but that was a spectacular crash and burn. The last note was downright painful, and even he couldn’t hide it in his face.
The Timberlake wanna be has got to go next. What a sad, annoying imitation. Simon pretty much gets it right every single week.
This was one of the best recaps yet. I started watching AI again this season after only reading your recaps last year and ignoring it all together for years before that. So many guffaw inducing lines, most have them have been mentioned here. Apparently I am the only one who thinks the Gokey Hokey looks like the Pee Wee Herman?
And thanks for the dance gif, I have been unable to resist the urge to FF whenever he’s on my screen and may have never seen it otherwise.
I thought that guy “beating” the box was beating a washboard at first and then I realized it was just a wooden box and I thought, “Okay, he’s “beating” a wooden box. How much talent does that take? Who did he blow to get that job?
I too had visions of a chubby George Michael when I saw Gokey with stubble. Now, if Gokey ever gets arrested in a men’s room (with his pants down and a nicotine patch on his butt) I might change my opinion of him but until then he’s crapola.
Ryan is looking more handsome every week.
Hysterical recap, Flip, as always!
Someone needs to tell Skara that the hair does NOT work pulled back like that. Jesus, the woman looks like Fievel from “An American Tail”! I never noticed how huge her ears are. Hair DOWN, Skara. Seriously.
I adore Adam. I wish he WOULD show up in assless chaps and fake eyelashes. That would make my entire fricking year.
The results show last night was all kinds of crazy, but I’ll save the comments for the recap.
Forgot to mention the clothes. THE CLOTHES. Who the hell is styling these people this year? Chola looked like shit, Anoop looked like he was trying out for “Miami Vice: The Next Generation”. and Kris looked like he just got out of bed, threw on some pants and some rain boots, and headed to the studio. With a $400/week clothing allowance each….WTF?!
Sher: Too right about the styling. With all the money this show makes, you’d think they could hire a real stylist and not a 13-year-old off the street going, “Oh, you need to wear *this* and *this* and — oh you have GOT to wear this!” Hell, I’m a part-time stylist; I’ll do it.
Poor Anoop and Chola have borne the brunt of the style-tastrophies, I fear.
Chola, honey-child, wear the trend, don’t let the trend wear you. Or in the case of disco night, don’t let the entire Idol accessories rack wear you. Separately, on their own, those pieces were okay. Altogether, ouch.
This is a normal American girl, with a normal American girl’s body. You can’t squeeze her into an Xtina outfit. Corsets, black opaque tights, sparkly shirts, cropped jackets — yeah, I read Elle too and they were all over the runways, but all at once?
Last night she looked lovely in jeans and a simple. Great idea, play her as Lily Allen. Playful cool. Play to her youth, don’t try to go the Sexpot. Despite her voice, she isn’t one.
And I won’t get started on Ham’s gray leather hoodie thing and Hokey’s Stay-Puffed Marshmellow Jacket. Ugh. Rant over.
Did anyone else find it funny that the judges gave kris a hardtime about “shopping in the women’s department” and mane comments about women’s clothing…but didn’t give Hambert the same treatment? His choice and Anoop’s were songs made famous by women, too…but in Ham’s case, he apparently likes dressing in women’s clothing. LOL! Interesting how TPTB are careful not to highlight it too much. Also sad since everyone pretty much knows. It’s like pretending that Simon’s penchant for wearing undershirts and Paula’s affinity for tin foil and Dazzlers jewelry are a secret.
I just have to comment on the box since so many other people have mentioned it…
It is actually an instrument, it’s called a cajón and it sounds pretty cool if you’ve ever gotten to stand right next to one.
There’s strings and drum heads and stuff inside.
Don’t be fooled by it’s boring box-like appearance!
Uh, there was a label on the side of the box that said BUDWEISER?
Did you say it was called a Cajones? What does that translate into English as?
My Mexican ain’t that good.
^ funny!
Hey – does anyone have an idea where to find that top Paula was wearing? I actually liked it – fly-speckled “diamonds” and everything.
pls advise.
Hm. Mr. Dangerous, “cajones” translates as “drawers”. You know, the ones that hold your underwear and socks in dressers and stuff. “COJONES” (with a very definite oh sound on the first syllable) means “balls”. Whenever Americans brag about their “cajones” or talk about someone’s “cajones”, sorry, it just sounds sad… But what do I know, I don’t speak Mexican either.
Oh, and don’t even get me started on your penchant for saying “mano y mano”… Grumble grumble.
My Mexican is terrible but my Spanglish is ok
Well, as a LATINO! I’m not offended by anything you guys (gals) say.
You both made me laugh. Okay, my lunch is over so I have to go back to work.
I grew up in the 70s, so for me there’s nothing original at all about Monkeyface Boy. I keep getting the feeling he’s channeling all that laid-back semi-jazzy California dreck that flooded the radio for years and years.
I liked the idea that he was singing about a hooker though.
If this is the best top 7 they’ve ever had, then I’m glad I’ve never watched the other seasons.
I’m sort of resigned to Church Lady winning this. They just seem to be steam-rolling him into the finals. And it’s just too tiring to resist anymore.
I really hope he fucks up big time though — like the bust him getting it on with an underage shemale prostitute or something like that. Love to see the expression he’d make then.
I realize that I am very biased about Matt…I’ll be the first to admit it, but I didn’t think Matt was bad this week. Lil and Anoop were worse.
That being said, I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the fact that Matt is almost certainly out next week. hopefully, he will prove me wrong, but i think it will be between him and allison next week. Allison is great, but she does not have the fan base. However, Allison is now the only female and minority left, so I think Matt is toast
I actually did not like Kris this week. I loved his arrangement this week, but I thought they were some pitch problems.
Danny was the worst, IMO. I thought it was borderline horrible. I wish he went home. I had my hopes up for him to leave. Believe it or not, Anwar Robinson sang the exact same song during the top 7 four seasons ago, and he was voted off that week…was hoping Danny would follow the same fate.
Really like Glambert and Allison.
Donna Martin Graduates!: If I had to guess, I’d say Betsey Johnson. I have a similar blouse (sans sparkles) I got from there, but it doesn’t look like her fall collection. Custo Barcelona has the colors and shine, and Anna Sui and Alexandre Herchcovitch had similar looks in their collections (less flowers and embellishment, more pattern or shine). Cavalli had the big flowers in his pre-Fall collection, but not the shine. Maybe she got a Cavalli and pulled out her trusty bedazzler?
jennaboa, you must be a fan of projectrungay–if you’ve never seen, they’ve got all the latest runway stuff. Just google . . .
Grrrrlll, color me impressed with that last post–u should be dressing these kids!!!
I still and will always love you for the penis fish!!!!
juddfan: Huge fan, can you tell? My life’s ambition is to marry Tim Gunn one of these days. Alas, I’m female. LOL.
I’ve done some work as a stylist, but I don’t do it full-time. It comes in handy to know your designers. Still, I’d give anything to dress Allison. She has a great figure and personality, she just needs to find her niche. The rest are pretty cute, too. Adam would be a dream to dress — I’m think Bowie a la Labyrinth with a dash of Freddie. I mean, if you are going to be a Ham, you may as well be as honey-baked as you can be, right?
Aw, the penis fish. It’s cruel to hope Coach gets a shock one of these fine mornings during his meditations in the water. I suppose we are supposed to feel sorry his sociopath bike-riding buddy was outsmarted, outwitted, and outlasted by a skinny whingey model no one likes. But I don’t. Pfft. Team Candiru all the way!
a bit late, but thank you jennaboa for the fash sleuthing. I will investigate further.
HEY! It was actually a very cute and short DRESS by Camilla.
Paula Abdul lists what she is wearing on her website!!! What a concept!