American Idol Results: Whore it Up at Home

24 Comments

1. 1
   Pegster
   Posted March 21, 2009 at 6:00 am

   The Ford commercial would have been better if they had blind guy get behind the wheel. Speaking of blind guy, please get off my teevee soon!

2. 2
   arizonatom
   Posted March 21, 2009 at 6:40 am

   Flipit;

   Nice recap (of a bunch of crap)! Glad to see that you can still stand to watch this glorious piece o’ shit show.

   Nice pic of you above, but why hide the wine and smokes? If you got ‘em, do ‘em! By the way, what do wet nickels smell like anyway?

   Keep it UP!

3. 3
   Cherie
   Posted March 21, 2009 at 6:56 am

   I think all the judges are dipping into Paula’s stash. I don’t get any of their decisions this year. They suck. Dandelion Head is just awful, as is Hambert. And Doi, I do not even have words for that one. And randy Travis is gross looking. I dreamed he threw me into a grave and was throwing dirt on me!

   Great recap as always flipit, and I am with arizonatom, what do wet nickles smell like? I thought children smelled like spoiled milk?

4. 4
   Timberwolf
   Posted March 21, 2009 at 8:44 am

   Okay, I’ve got to get this off my chest: who in the hell’s idea was it to take a twenty-something year old who’s already a bundle of nerves about to explode, and make them re-sing a song that obviously did nothing to keep them safe for the express purpose of convincing the judges to keep them? Could you ask for a worse perfomance? That’s like saying “I’m holding your family hostage. Now entertain me and maybe I’ll let them go”. At least when someone got booted off the show before their swan song at times was better than the original, because they have a “screw-it” attitude with no pressure. This was a bone-headed move, and I feel sorry for anyone who has to do it.

   Hey, I’ve got one better. Let’s just throw the loser into a pit of hungry lions and make them sing them to pacivity. You know, no pressure, just don’t crack or anything dawg!

5. 5
   Mr Dangerous
   Posted March 21, 2009 at 10:48 am

   I think it’s great that Scott can open up his mouth that wide. It’s a trait that should be admired! I can see him as boyfriend material now or at the very least “stuff on the side” material.

   Bye Bye Allison.
   You know, I do miss Nathanial, Tatiana, your uncle Phyllis and that fat UGLY girl that couldn’t dress right but could sing.

   RE: “The Other Simon spends all the production money on the production, so unfortunately the party’s at Buca di Beppo. Chuck E. Cheese must have been booked.” I thought it was at that place where they filmed SWINGERS. The one on HILLHURST. I think it’s called The Dresden but Buca di Beppo is a much funnier restaurant name than The Dresden.

6. 6
   michigan
   Posted March 21, 2009 at 4:18 pm

   Timberwolf,
   I could not agree more! I was mortified at what they did to poor Alexis. That poor thing almost cried herself to death!!
   Flipit:
   You are the God of recaps and, again, I bow to your awesomeness. Your talent is wasted, yet OH SO appreciated as an AI recapper, since the show BLOWS!!!
   They should be ashamed of themselves for the obvious rigging of this show: Blind Guy? What? He. Can. Not. Sing. If he weren’t blind he would have been heckled off the stage weeks ago. Period.
   Doi: Relevant. Yeah. Right.
   Hambert: That Liza analogy is brilliant! Let’s drag out David Gest and ask him to coach.
   Anyway….too many wines and Marlboros. I must stop.
   You rule.
   M.

7. 7
   DaffyMaiden
   Posted March 21, 2009 at 4:19 pm

   Yeah, what you said, Flipit. I don’t want to see the president during Idol time unless he’s actually ON Idol.

8. 8
   itchy
   Posted March 21, 2009 at 4:20 pm

   I liked Little’s lil’ “thank you jesus” comment after she was declared safe. Thanks for what? For shitting on Alexis and making her suffer in front of the judges one last time? And what’s Little going to say to jesus when it’s her turn? It’s not like she’s slated to win this thing.

   Don’t know if any of you watched the ‘secret talents’ video that some fawning television show put up about these bozos.

   Well, Megan’s talent (a highly flexible tongue) is reason enough to keep her around. Which is no doubt why hers was flopping out and about during the lipsync number.

   Shame about Alexis being so boring. She coulda been a contenduh.

9. 9
   Dogsnaxx
   Posted March 21, 2009 at 8:50 pm

   Argh!

   So pissed that Alexis left. Then again, I’m deaf. I hear she wasn’t “all that”, merely “more than some of the other”…but this happens every season.

   I’ve followed this show from day one, season one. If Church Lady wins, I’m out. For good! I mean it this time! I’m breaking up with you, Idol!

   Love your recaps, as always, Flip!

10. 10
    bigjr6633
    Posted March 21, 2009 at 11:15 pm

    Itchy, I’m sorry but do you just wait to find shit to complain about regarding Lil. Her saying “thank you jesus” and I don’t even remember her saying that. Do you just not like her or your waiting on little shit to complain about and please if your not name is not Danny or Adam your not winning this period so hate to break it to u but your girl Megan will be forgotten about by the time this season is over.

    Great recap as always Flipit!!!

11. 11
    itchy
    Posted March 22, 2009 at 1:26 am

    Tell you what, why don’t you make up a list of things that I AM allowed to write about?

    Really, I think you will be doing all of us a great service. Because I’m certain that there are one or two others out there who aren’t certain what you do wish to read about.

    I know that it is extremely important to me that I write only exactly what you prefer to read.

    We can then apply your list across the entire Internet, that way you’ll never risk coming across anyone else’s opinions other than your own.

    And why stop there? Did you know that there are millions of libraries that also contain ideas that might have words in them that you do not wish to see? But with your list, we’ll be able to go through all of the book and magazines and eliminate those that do fit in with your own weltanschauung.

    It’ll be even easier, because of the various book digitizing projects out there. And since I imagine they’re digitizing screenplays as well, we can take care of all the films and television shows as well.

    It might be more difficult for the radio, of course. And what about photographs and moving images?

    And of course, we’ll apply your list to all future projects as well, that way there will be no risk that you might inadvertantly be confronted with an opinion that doesn’t exactly correspond with your own.

    With a little faith and a bit of elbow grease, we’ll find the way.

    So get to work there, bub. I expect your list on my desk first thing Monday morning.

12. 12
    Mr Dangerous
    Posted March 22, 2009 at 10:08 am

    Next door to the building I work in is a small art gallery with a “public art space” dedicated to the BLACKLIST. There are many quotes, carved in stone, from people caught up in the BLACKLIST. The following quote is from TV’s Lucille Ball in 1947.

    “All of us agree that the constitution of the United States must be defended but the way to do this is not by shutting up the man you disagree with. You must fight for his right to speak and be heard. All civil liberties go hand and hand and when one goes the others are weakened.”

    Itchy, I’m on your side.

13. 13
    cattyfan
    Posted March 22, 2009 at 11:22 am

    And yet you get offended when Lil or Danny mentions their respective beliefs in God…and use their speech as your excuse to hate them. Civil liberties include freedom of religion. Funny how your ideas about freedom only extend to those folks you like or with whom you agree.

14. 14
    fire@will
    Posted March 22, 2009 at 11:33 am

    Great recap. In watching Travis, I kept thinking he reminded me of someone, the way his lips don’t move when he talks. I realized it was Landry, on Friday Night Lights… a show actually worth watching (even if it isn’t currently being recapped – ironic, since idol is usually worth being recapped, but not worth being watched.)

15. 15
    Mr Dangerous
    Posted March 22, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    Hey,I have no problem with anybody mentioning their beliefs but I will ridicule AND point my finger at anyone who is a hypocrite. If you’re going to be a preacher than you better know the difference between RIGHT AND WRONG. Danny, who preaches at his church (?!), sold his dead wife down the river for a chance at fame, success and MONEY. He’s a hypocrite. I have no problem with Little Rounds because 1) she doesn’t come off as “holier than thou” and 2) she doesn’t make herself out to be something she’s not. She’s like the Mandisa of Season 8.

    You must understand that DANNY has made himself the target. (Just like Jim & Tammy Faye Baker, Jimmy Swaggert and Ted Haggert.) If Danny is going to talk the talk — then he needs to walk the walk.

    I am not AFRAID of anything Christians say but I find Christians always trying to SILENCE those who disagree with THEM. I won’t be silenced.

    Oh, and by the way, does anyone know how Danny’s church stands on equal rights for gays? This being the 21st Century BOTH church locations must be FOR equal rights, right?

16. 16
    bigjr6633
    Posted March 22, 2009 at 2:11 pm

    Thank You, Cattyfan ppl always want to find faults with someone they don’t like or should I say just 1 person on this board finds a fault with the ppl they don’t like and their religious tendencies when I have never seen Lil being all highly religious with us unlike Danny.

    Mr. Dangerous, I don’t think there’s any fault with you, I think another person like Itchy gets all bent out of shape when someone shows a belief in God on this show. I mean last week it was a rant about Michael wearing a cross, this week its Lil saying “Thank You Jesus”, Danny is a whole another story so I can see some ppl having issues with him but why the other ppl?

    Itchy, just please let it go it’s not that serious and I can understand if you don’t like someone but you don’t have to bring up little things they do on show and because of that you hate them!!!

17. 17
    dani2526
    Posted March 22, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    “Now bring me an awesome blossom before I diss you in my comment card”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Awesome recap, Flipit.

18. 18
    soapboxx
    Posted March 22, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    FlipIt you are making this season worthwhile. I wish Alexis would have made a scene on stage and said “Are you kidding me? Megan is safe and I’m gone? You guys can suck it!” Also itchy when I read your answer to bigjr6633 it made me yell “Thank You Jesus!” I laughed all the way through your answer. And by the way is bigjr6633 really bigjr663+3= bigjr666? Let’s ask church lady,hmmm I don’t know SSSAAATTTAAANNN?????

19. 19
    itchy
    Posted March 23, 2009 at 1:53 am

    First off, I never said these people CANNOT display their religiosity in public.

    I said I feel (emphasis on the I) that they are idiots for doing so and that they should be ashamed of themselves. But if that’s what they want to do, that is their right, as long as they’re not FORCING anyone else to believe this crap too …and as long as I have the right to make of fun of them.

    Especially here in TVgasm, where we generally make fun of ALL reality TV contestants for pretty much EVERYTHING they do.

    So I should back off of the jesus freaks because it makes you uncomfortable?

    If it helps any, I have no tolerance for Hasids, fundamentalist Muslims, Scientologists, Orthodox anything, and all New Age religions and if any of them were on this show (like that would ever happen), I’d be making fun of them too.

    But again, what people do in private is their own business. And we all have the right to be stupid in public.

    Does anyone remember back when you couldn’t go to an airport, a train station or a bus station without running across a gang of dancing and chanting Hare Krishnas? Tell me that wasn’t funny! (Although didn’t “they”– i.e., the dominant judeo-christian community–pass laws specifically to prevent the Hare Krisnas from doing this? I don’t remember the Hare Krisnas every bombing a doctor’s clinic though.)

    Now, does anyone remember back when it was considered IMPOLITE to commit public acts of religiosity? That was reserved for the crazy guy standing on the corner talking about the end of the world. Religion was a private matter, not a public spectacle.

    So I leave the country for a few years, and look what happens. All of a sudden, it seems like everyone is a jehovah’s witness. Sheesh.

    And this discussion has EVERYTHING to do with American Idol. They call this ‘Idol’ after all — so what are these so-called believers doing here?

    “I am that I am. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” And yet, they want to be idols?

    Which of course makes them even more fun to watch.
    Even without the Church Lady’s dead wife-pimping ways, these people are complete hypocrites and deserve our mockery.

    Not because they’re ‘christians’ but because they’re idiots.

    And it really does seem like Idol goes out of its way to drum up jesus freaks to compete on this show. It makes sense, since they appeal to just the type of fundamentalist religious person who is already accustomed to ‘tithing’ ridiculous amounts of their own limited resources in order to support the luxury lifestyles of their religious leaders.

    How the hell does Gokey afford all of those eyeglasses? (And do a little reading about the ‘church’ he belongs to…this guy is no saint.)

    So I’m asking myself: did Lil thank jesus when he destroyed her home with a tornado? And when she gets eliminated, is she going to flip him the bird? Now that, I’d love to see. It’d be the coolest thing.

    You know, I started feeling a little bad about pursuing this line of discussion — I mean, I’m not trying to be a troll here, I genuinely believe that a show called ‘Idol’ that features so many publicly religious people deserves being called out for that, and my real enjoyment with TVgasm is having a good laugh about reality television. Because reality television is inherently laughable. Including– perhaps especially– American Idol.

    But some of you (eh-hem) have made me feel uncomfortable about expressing myself as I wish to express myself –and some of you have even been downright insulting about it. Funny, huh?

20. 20
    cansnuts
    Posted March 23, 2009 at 11:20 am

    Oh some people have been downright insulting to you? And it’s not insulting when you basically ostracize a entire group of people based on their beliefs? What is it you said last week? “I just wish I could shake them back to reality. It just boggles my mind that anyone could actually swallow any of this nonsense. Much less be proud of it. In public.” That’s not insulting? Or how about this gem… when you said how when you believe the “myth,” “you automatically establish yourself as an anti-intellectual, anti-rational, and anti-intelligent being.
    ” No that’s not insulting in the lest bit.

    You are the one who started this whole tirade with your long and ridiculous rants that you post to justify yourself and your beliefs (or lack there-of). I don’t care what you or anyone else this site believes. You can be Christian, Jewish, Buddist, an Atheist, Catholic, Agnostic, or what have you, that is your choice, but once you blantantly attack my beliefs I am going to stand up for them. Just as you have the right to speak your mind and “make fun” of Christians, we have the right to call you a pig-headed, trolling, jerk. And the fact you think Megan is so amazing just makes me likes you even less. Really? Megan?

    What was meant to be a forum for gossiping about AI contestants and discussing who we like and dislike has turned into a war of words over a very sensitive subject and that’s just sad.

    There’s one thing I think nearly all of us can agree on… Scott needs to gooooo.

21. 21
    itchy
    Posted March 24, 2009 at 1:39 am

    I don’t believe I ever insulted you –I mean, you in the specific ‘you’ sense of the word.

    I realize there’s the temptation to pretend you’re carrying all of the sins of the world on your back and all, but you’re not, he didn’t either, and really, if you’re strong in your belief and certain of its rectitude, you wouldn’t be so worried about what I have to say.

    I mean, when religious types tell me I’m going to hell, I smile. When they get on television and talk about it, I laugh and talk back.

    But see, that’s one of the reasons why I hate religion so much. Because the most “religious” are often the most hypocritical–and vicious.

    I mean–whatever happened to ‘turn the other cheek’?

    Look, it’s not my fault that religion is a fairy tale. Don’t know why I should pretend otherwise. You never heard of ‘don’t shoot the messenger’? –although that one was coined under a different set of gods, by Jupiter!

    And like I said, I don’t care what anyone does in private (unlike most religious types), that’s your thing. Hell, my wife thinks I’m nuts for watching reality shows. But if someone wants to go into the public eye and say and do things I disagree, why is it wrong for me to make fun of them for that?

    Like I said, at least I’m not bombing medical clinics about it.

    My original point, by the way, was that choosing to believe in a religion is essentially a choice to ‘switch off’ one’s intelligence. This is why religion is ‘anti-intelligence.’

    Religion by its very nature opposes scientific, rational thought.

    So why would anyone choose ignorance? Of course, I choose provocative terms (idiot, etc.) to make my point. But I’m no politician (and don’t need to pretend to be religious in order to get elected), and I don’t need to play nice.

    Besides, I’m not so sure you’re reading these recaps correctly — I do believe that Flipit is LAUGHING at this show and the people on it. And most of the people here reading these recaps are laughing along (they should be, because Flipit is the god of recaps) — because the show is a joke, the performers are a joke, and EVERYTHING they do is potential fodder for a bit of a chuckle.

    Besides, our screennames appear at the vey beginning of our comments — why bother reading mine if you don’t like what I have to say? By now you know what I have to say, and be assured I’m not talking to YOU. So, when you see my screenname, take a deep breath, relax, and scroll down the page.

    There are plenty of Idol fan sites, you know. (I just learned a new word last night – fantard!). And there are even lots of uber-religious Idol prayer sites too.

    For the others who read these… I hope you at least see the humor in what I write here. And the humor in ‘Idol’s use of religious contestants to pull in ratings and phone calls.

    As for Megan…well, you’re not wearing my pants. NONE of these people sing well. And given the choice between looking at a douchebag like the Church Lady, or Lil’s silly haircut and oversized behind, Hambert’s bad skin, Gum’s gums, the dwarfish boring pretty boy what’s his name, Anoop’s prepboy nerdliness, and Alison’s too-chunky pubescence, my vote goes for the hot gal with the nice breasts and the funny wiggle in her walk.

22. 22
    suckitbitches
    Posted March 24, 2009 at 8:09 am

    Shut your piehole, itchy. This is supposed to be a stress-relieving part of my day!

23. 23
    cansnuts
    Posted March 24, 2009 at 11:49 am

    Yay, another spew of BS from itchy to make himself feel smarter and superior to us stupid Christians.

    I’m sorry that you’ve have a bad experience with Chrsitians in the past. Truly I am. But you really make yourself sound like a jackass when you label an entire group of people based on perceived notions. Really it’s no different than being racist, sexist or homophobic in my opinion. Not all christians are pious & self-righteous. Being a Christian, to me, means believing that Jesus came and died for your sins. That’s it. You can believe that is a myth if you wish, I am not here to convert you. I believe in God and yet I am still pro-choice and support gay marriage. Did your mind just explode? I mean how can a supposed Christian not be bombing medical clinics? I am a Democrat, yet I don’t agree with every thing Democrats say or do, why should my religious beliefs be any different?

    And yes, it does offend me very much so when you say being religious is to be anti-intelligent. Just because I believe in a higher power does not make me or anyone else less intelligent. I fully support science. In my eyes, God created scientist, just as he created you and me, and gave them the knowledge and the tools to conduct important research. As far as evolution and the Big Bang, they both are called theories for a reason, they can’t be proved, just as the Bible cannot be proved. All of this took place billions of years ago and you nor I nor anyone else will ever be able to prove any of this in our lifetime no matter how hard we try because we weren’t there. The only way we’ll ever know for sure is by dying because a) we’ll either be in heaven or hell if i’m right and b) we’ll be rotting in a grave somewhere if you are. Arguing about this isn’t doing anyone any good.

    So let’s just agree to disagree on the subject and try not to be so judgemental because ironically when you do so, you really sound the the bible thumping variety of Christian exetremists who you preach about. You know, the kind who actually do bomb the abortion clinics.

    You can say whatever you want about any of the contesatants. I don’t care. (How ever if your reason for disliking them is because they are Christians, then shame on you. Thats the same as someone hating Adam because they think he’s gay.) I mean as you said, they signed up for the show, that puts them in the spotlight and gives us the opportunity to judge them, make fun of them or praise them. Just don’t attack Christians in general. And if you choose to do so, don’t get your panties in a wad because someone dares to stand up for what they believe in and question you.

24. 24
    NegativeNancy
    Posted March 26, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    “you don’t have to bring up little things they do on the show because you hate them”…
    I thought that was the whole point of this forum.