-
TV Social
Login
Recent Comments
- wcsdancer: Master P got the lowest scores ever, but not only because he wouldn’t wear dance shoes. He was truly...
- blazergirl: Also, she told the judge this morning that it wasn’t a bong, it was a vase. Which would only...
- blazergirl: That wig looks like a cheap, Halloween warehouse wig. I’m surprised it didn’t go up in...
- snowshoecat: @Gypsy, true that. What’s more, she hasn’t seduced, much less raped, a frog. She is a...
- (J)ustPeachy: I think she realized that last minute Gypsy, and that’s why she grabbed the wackiest wig...
- Gypsy: Listen, if she is going to go balls to the wall crazy she needs to up her game! A silly old Bong Toss...
- yummy: Tanisha really did seem biased, I don’t understand how she was up...
- snowshoecat: Bong toss. I’m in!
- Sparkle McSnarkle: Everybody knows its only acceptable to have beer for breakfast if...
- Mimo: @Robin – LeAnn probably doesn’t see anything wrong with that because she’s built just...
Hot Shows
-
Fresh Tweets!
- What is it funny or something? #arresteddevelopment #season4 #top10tv #memorialdaymarathon goo.gl/4uLOy @netflix 7 hours ago
- Forget Pamplona Spain, The Icing of the Balls in the ATL is where it's at #DontBeTardy Recap goo.gl/Vk9nT @Kimzolciak 7 hours ago
- "Go forth and keep Portland weird." #NBCGrimm Recap goo.gl/VmGMo @MrReggieLee @Just_Monroe 14 hours ago
- Jenn's crotch is bullying me! #badgirlsclub Recap goo.gl/2O7re 17 hours ago
- Can you give me your peanut butter and jelly sandwich recipe? #Married2Med Recap goo.gl/qEqe8 17 hours ago
- RT @stoopidhsewives: @BravoTV #WWHL Beats @ChelseaLately in Ratings... @TVGasm "It's TV!" With Ronnie and Carrie … wp.me/p19GVk-gv6 v… 20 hours ago
- All chained up an no place to go #Revolution Recap goo.gl/LtIzN @nbcrevolution @nbc 23 hours ago
- Thought you might like our version of #Newlyweds ! tvgasm.com/home/behind-th… xo @blairlate 23 hours ago
- New epi of IT's TV!! tvgasm.com/home/behind-th… @gracehelbig @lanyardtwerk @aguywithnolife @laurensivan @thewrap @zap2it @nikkifinke @logotv 23 hours ago
- New epi of IT's TV!! tvgasm.com/home/behind-th… @fuggirls @pajiba @vulture @sepinwall @queermeup @thebravoblonde @previouslyTV @jeffreestar 23 hours ago
- New epi of IT's TV!! tvgasm.com/home/behind-th… @deggans @sarahthyre @jonathanadler @theavclub @roblowe @thebravoholic @jarettsays @bravopr 23 hours ago
- New epi of IT's TV!! tvgasm.com/home/behind-th… @SarahsSecrets4u @vodka4dummies @2guysplusbaby @tomatonation @michcoll @radar_online 23 hours ago
- New epi of It's TV! tvgasm.com/home/behind-th… @annadavid @gracehelbig @lanyardtwerk @aguywithnolife @laurensivan @jeffreestar @ewanniebarrett 23 hours ago
- Luis is showing his slimy side rank amateurism astute professionalism by doctoring photos of the townhouse before he puts them in his listi 1 day ago
- I need at least 150 characters to make fun of these shows #top10tv goo.gl/ZGf7H 1 day ago
- ooh, yea. that looks hot. okay, i'm down. yea, tie him up. now - WTF LEECHES! AHHHHHH! game of thrones is never safe. 1 day ago
- "CARRIE ANN GAVE US A 5, THAT BITCH!!!" #DWTS 1 day ago
- @bbwraven @lifeontheMlist @bsideblog I say nene for now. But give Mariah a couple of seasons. She'll catch up. 1 day ago
Tonight on American Idol, Motown survives, but just barely.
Make it stop.
The mouth chews Gums.
We open today with shots of the contestants’ heads being swallowed whole by the giant gaping mouth in the center of the stage while Tink asks us “What happens when you mix the most talked about singers in the nation with some of the most influential songs in the world?” I haven’t even seen the episode yet, but I have a guess.
Call FEMA and get them on alert, cuz this shit’s gonna be painful.
The judges make their grand entrance. Randy is in horizontal stripes, and it’s disturbing. He looks like an Easter egg with a muffin top. Less disturbing than Paula’s tutu though.
She hunted down Tatiana and stole this right off her. When is PETA gonna start protecting humans?
As Paula twirls around the stage showing off her latest kill, the Heavens open up and Tink flies down.
It’s a relief to know that fairies are let into Heaven, if only on a press tour.
Tink tells us that everyone’s over the flu that was going around last week, but no one’s over the shocking elimination of Alexis Grace. Who? I’m sure it was very sad. I would go back to last week’s recap to see who that is, but frankly I’m tired. The judges won’t sit down and apparently it’s because they’re saying hi to Smokey Robinson and Barry Gordy, who are just now wandering in to take their seats. Take your time, you pains in the ass. I predict they’re gonna be sitting there unwrapping hard candy through the whole show.
Tink asks Randy if last week’s elimination show was brutal even for him. Randy answers that he hated to see Alexis go, but it made it much more fun to tease her with the Judges save, force her to squawk her way through a desperate begging for life performance, and then diss her with a no. Agreed, it is more fun like that. Next they’re just gonna make the losers come out naked and point at them and laugh. Skara, was it tough for you? Yes. Thanks for being here, Skar. You’re adding tons.
What does Paula want to see tonight? Besides the bottom of a Stoli bottle. She wants the contestants to show their artistic integrity, of course! The woman sitting behind Simon is giving Paula death stare.
Simon says that tonight’s Motown songs are some of the best in the world, but he’s not necessarily looking forward to it. LOL. By the way, did anyone catch Simon, Tink and Randy on Leno the other night? They said this year will be won by a boy and they think it will be Hambert or Church Lady Hokey, with “Little” in the final three to represent. I am now firmly on Little’s side. Beat them senseless, girl!! Tink announces the Top 10 and a Motown Montage. The contestants got to visit Hitsville, where they met up with Smokey and Barry. Church Lady seems the most thrilled.
Barry says American Idol is the biggest platform in the world, and he is proud to have the songs he made hits completely ripped to shreds there. Kris and Gums try to figure out how to steal a fedora out of the bullet proof case while Blind Guy feels gold records.
I love this song!
Gordy takes them all back to Studio A and tells them that this studio is where almost all the hits we know and love were recorded. Cholaheta says that she’s gonna sing “Papa Was a Rolling Stone”, and Gordy tells her proudly that that song was recorded right there! There’s kinda an awkward pause as we wait for him to ask her to sing it in the studio. He doesn’t. But be sure to stop by the gift shop on your way out!
Smokey heads on over to the mansion and sings “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” around the piano with the contestants. Everyone’s really natural, like there aren’t any cameras there.
Tink goes into the audience to say hayhay to Barry and Smokey. Did you know Smokey has written over 4,000 songs? DAAAAMN!! Anyway, I think Smokey must smell like ice cream, cuz this fat kid won’t go back to his own seat.
I’m not leaving til you feed me mothaf**ka!
Gums is up first with “Let’s Get it On”, and he’s behind the piano. Smokey has a sentimental spot for Marvin and approves wholeheartedly of Gums’ take. He’s looking at him funny, but I think it’s cuz Gums’ zit is growing into a small child in the center of his forehead.
He starts behind the piano with a soft and sweet rendition of the song. He misses a few notes at first but he’s still strong. Then he gets up and the band kicks in and he knocks it out of the park. I think someone told Gums to stop grabbing his wiener all the time, cuz he keeps reaching down for it and grabbing the bottom of his sweater instead. Poor guy. Let him grab his wiener! It’s his signature move!
That sweater feels totally molested right now.
Randy says yo about ten times and then tells Gums that he’s up against some strong male competition but is edging towards the top. Skara thinks that he made a lot of girls horny and he’s coming out of his shell. Paula stutters about his riffs not being over the top and he’s like wearing an old pair of jeans. ?? Simon says it was corny when he came close to the judges table but it was a perfect song for him and he’s now one of the front runners. Gums responds by cradling his left testicle gently.
I have no idea what’s happening here, but it’s going on my fridge.
As Kris’ intro, Tink does an imitation of his sideways mouth.
Tonight you can download the songs as usual, but this time they are with the original Motown recordings. In other words, they’re literally karaoke songs this time. Way to revolutionize the download experience AI! I’ve never thought of actually recording karaoke and then turning it for a profit, but I like the idea. On the front page of TVgasm you will be allowed to download my mom’s famous drunken karaoke version of “Like a Virgin”. I’m gonna be rich!
Kris is singing “How Sweet it Is”. Bizoooooring. Smokey says the melody of the song is so sweet that there’s no reason to mess with it. From rehearsals, it looks like Kris is going to follow that advice. Smokey loved it and tells him not to change a thing. He’s impressed that he can play the guitar and sing at the same time. Wowee. And he can do all that while dressed like a Boy Scout about to be shipped off to war.
Kris actually doesn’t stick to melody and instead colors it up all over the place. Paula is up and dancing, which means it must be really really good, cuz she never does that. His performance is good. I wouldn’t recognize his voice if I heard the exact same performance on the radio a week later, but he doesn’t suck. He’s just milquetoast. Very cute milquetoast. With sideways face.
Skara thinks he did himself and it was hawt. Paula talks to Simon during her whole critique. Love Paula. When it’s actually her turn to talk, she says that he’s great and technically he was brilliant. Paula has made complete sentences two weeks in a row. Someone needs to fill her Coke cup, cuz this is lame. Simon says he’s good but looks like he could be at a bus stop and needs to get more attitude and should be an asshole if he wants to be a star. Randy says that he’s all good. Tink and Simon exchange some idiotic swagger talk and I tune out. Tink shouldn’t ever be allowed to go off prompter. It never works out well. Kris understands what the judges were saying, and for some reason this makes his girlfriend go nuts.
She got Puala’s Coke.
Nigerian assholes!
Blind Guy’s next. Tink asks why he’s got the baby grand behind him after promising Paula last week that he would take more risks. He says that the piano is part of who he is so he’s decided to take risks in other areas. Like playing darts in a crowded bar with no help, or crossing the street whenever he feels like it and just trusting that drivers are paying attention. Or pink pants. Yikes.
Forever 21: Risk it!
He’s singing “Can’t Hurry Love”, which he thinks is a risk cuz it’s a girl song. He’s doing a different take on it and it’s hard to tell what Smokey’s thinking as he stares at him. He says he has no advice for him, but would it have been so hard to just say GEL? Come on, Smokey? Help a boy out. Poor thing’s got lint trap hair.
Scott tells us that he’s single right now. He gets dates, but Pretty Brother ends up taking them all home. You need an uglier escort, dude. When he gets onstage, he comes out with the backup singers, which can only make him whiter, if that’s possible. The “new take” on the song only lasts about five seconds, and then it jumps into the version we all know and used to love before tonight. He gives it his deaf sounding all, but wow. He can’t really sing for shite. But we already knew that. Tonight he tries a couple riffs, and at points he sounds like Will Ferrel in that too white singing couple on SNL. It’s not as funny, though. He’s giving it his all, though, you have to give him that. Even when it looks like he’s gonna deep throat the mic.
Love don’t come easy, but it comes easier when you have no gag reflex.
Paula, who has taken shit all week for calling the piano a crutch, tells Scott that he really changed it up this week by having the backup singers dance around the piano. Simon brings up the line in the song “how much more can you take?” LOL. The audience boos him, but pretty brother cracks up.
Right, Dad?
He thinks the piano was horrid, the backup singers were a mess, and the song was wrong and cheap. Scott shakes his head, confused. Simon doesn’t care if he plays the piano or sits on it, but he has to pick better songs and have some, you know, EMOTION. Randy says he doesn’t agree with Simon much, but Paula and the audience start cheering before he says “much” and it’s awkward and hilarious. And PS Randy agrees with Simon almost every time. He just adds yos so whatever. He says it was a hotel performance and everyone else is turning it up a notch and he needs to follow suit. Skara likes that he brought some tempo, but she didn’t like that he took liberties with the melody and didn’t execute it well. Meanwhile, Scott’s slutty sister is being stalked by the creep behind her.
Another day, another lay.
Scott says it’s hard to select a song and he changed jis at the last minute. Simon would have rather heard “Reach Out and Touch”. He says that would have been great as long as he had some emotion. Tink asks Paula to compare Scott with the other guys and Simon tells her to be honest. She tries to duck it, and he keeps muttering that she needs to answer the question. She bends down and gets crayons from under her seat and calls Simon a child. Then Tink tries to explain what’s going on to Scott, who ignores all that nonsense and tells us that he didn’t know his pants were pink until right before he came on. That’s just cruel. Then he waits for the Tink kiss that never comes.
You just have to wait.
When we come back from break, Tink is talking about the coloring books Paula gave Simon. He asks what else she has under that table and she says “it’s under my skirt!” I think we’ve all suspected that at one point or another, but still. Wow.
Inside voice.
Megan Doi is singing “For Once in My Life”, and unfortunately she’s still using her fakey cartoon growely voice. Yikes. Smokey thinks she’s refreshing and different. He has no advice, so she asks him questions and he says to just do what she does. Smokey? Pointless. If you can’t think of advice for Doi, you have no business giving it in the first place. She is elated by his non response. She comes out and looks gorgeous. And then she sings. OUCH. This is her worst, and that’s saying something. She misses almost every single note and squawks out more than half of them. It’s painful and sad. Cut to Simon rolling his eyes. LOL. She gets up on the little stage behind the judges table and does her wrist jerky hip shaky awkward dance. At least she did something well!
Randy has mad love for her and she looks great but that was a bizarre train wreck. Skara agrees and then starts singing My Guy. Yes you would have been a better contestant. Thanks for that. Paula says her stunning beauty takes her breath away. Ouch. She does agree with the others though. I love how everyone’s suddenly shocked that the girl can’t sing. Simon says it’s horrible and she should fire whoever’s giving her advice. Atrocious, horrible, in serious troubs. Megan tries not to cry. Aw! They got you on tour, which was the whole goal, so now her ass is out. She’s confident that “my fans” are still there and encourages them to call. Anoop tries to lessen her embarrassment by doing a little dance on the sidelines.
Well done. She looks way more evolved now.
Noops singing “Ooh Baby Baby”. Smokey tells a story about how at the end of a love song medley he sang with the Miracles, he just started riffing and that riff became the song. I think that it’s probably also how “Mmm Bop” was written, which proves that Hanson is brilliant. Smokey’s advice? None! Moving on. As a sidenote, I don’t know if they’re shooting Anoop through a fish eye lens or what, but they’re not doing him any favors. He looks like a billboard for a bait shop.
Fish face aside, Anoop kicks ass on the song for the most part. He sounds smooth and beautiful, especially in his fals notes. He misses a bunch of those and he’s a little sharp on his final high note, but he did well overall. Skara thinks it’s one of the most beautiful songs ever written and even though he missed notes he did a pretty good job. Paula can’t imagine being on that stage singing in front of legends. Or singing in general. She thinks he was spot on and sweet. Simon thinks it was a great vocal but he looked bored and too musical theater. Randy thinks he should come back with some energy next week.
What do you mean?
Tink asks how Anoop is ranking, and Randy says he’s still in it and the guys are kicking ass. Noop says he’s happy with his feedback and thinks he can win it. Oil Rig Bear is next. He was sick last week and didn’t get to go to Detroit with the others. Ruhroh. That’s no good. You didn’t do your homework! He says that Smokey still got to work with him and that’s what matters. Cuz Smokey has really made a huge difference for everyone else so far. He’s singing “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg”, and he is gonna “church it up.” Oh good Lord I think that we’ve had enough of that. Smokey actually gives him some ADVICE and says that he needs to stop the smooth singing and “pound it” and feel it. I dunno, Smoke. That’s the best he’s sounded this entire season.
Oil Rig takes that as “shout and growel a lot in random keys”. He pushes way too hard and misses a lot of his notes. He also misses all his fals notes and smiles and shakes hands and acts like he’s running for Mayor the whole time while kinda shimmying and winking, which kills the whole “feeling it” thing. The backup singers sound good, though! He sounds better than he has all season, but that’s not saying a lot. And then he painfully bones the final note. Poor guy. I like him. But mostly cuz of his faces.
He does the whole “excuse cough” at the end. Worked for Megan! Paula isn’t buying it. She says it was old Las Vegas lounge-y to her and she gets booed!! HAHAH. The boos turn her into a stuttering mess, which is how I like her. She has great trouble telling him he sucked. Simon doesn’t know wtf she just said, and she snaps that he doesn’t understand music. LOL. Cut to Paula lipsyncing really badly at the Super Bowl. Now that’s understanding music!
Simon says it was plain painful and he couldn’t wait for it to end. He adds that he just screams and there’s no way that he can win cuz in the real world he’s just not good enough. Ouch. Oil Rig Bear says he respects his opinion and he gave a hundred percent and he’s not playing games. Simon tells him to shut it and just listen to the advice. Randy says the song is great but he’s not R&B enough to pull it off and it came off corny. Skara says it’s not about singing, it’s about artistry. Oil Rig pulls out the Southern charm with Tink and says that the criticism doesn’t kill him cuz he’s proud to be in the Top 10 on the greatest show on Earth. I wish I was there to pat him on the head and ask him to just not speak.
Little’s next, and she’s borrowed one of Paula’s wig caps. Unfortunately, she forgot to wash it first.
Little is excited to get to tell Smokey how proud she is that Smokey and his friends paved such a great pathway for the sistas. Little just wants to make Aretha and the other pioneers proud. She’s singing “Heatwave”, and Smokey goes back to his non advice and tells her to just be herself. I think whatever Oil Rig Bear caught this week is contagious, cuz Little is manically oversinging the crap out of the song. She’s all shouting and it’s all off key craziness. Towards the end it’s great, but it’s on the same level volume wise as the rest of it. Man, she should have nailed this one. And I have to add that she wusses out on two huge notes at the end by pulling the mic away from her face. I wanna hear Little just calm the f down and sing something instead of shouting like the house is on fire and we all need to run.
This ain’t a drill. Get your shit and RUN!
Randy asks how she’s doing, which is a bad sign. Randy thinks she’s got great vocals but the front of the song was tortured and she sounded rushed. He keeps talking, but basically he’s saying, meh. Skara says she looks gorgeous. Ouch. But…she should have nailed it tonight and it was the wrong song. She needs to stop screaming and add more emotion. Paula, who’s sick of being booed, says that she disagrees and Little looks gorgeous and her vocals were fresh, like the song was being sung for the first time. Simon says he understands they understand why she was emotional about the history of Motown but the song was wrong and she went too far and should have had a moment. Paula thinks there was a moment, and Skara shouts that she had a moment of looking gorgeous. Damn. I have never heard beauty used as such a weapon before this show was on the air. Little doesn’t take it that well, but keeps her mouth shut.
No. You. DIDN’T.
Simon says that she’s still one of the best vocalists in the competition though. She is just glad Simon pronounced her name right and she says if she is back next week she’ll slow it down and blow us all away. Paula thinks she could run for President and Lil gives a shout out to Obama. I would vote for Lil, if only to see her bumbly non sensical State of the Unions. Tink tells us that we might think we have Hambert pegged, but just wait! He’s singing “Tracks of My Tears” by Smokey himself, but he’s doing a nice soft slow version. Smokey says that he likes that Ham kept it sweet and soft. Hm. I have trouble believing that. Not that Smokey liked it but that Ham keeps it slow and soft the whole time. You know what’s not soft? The lighting in that interview room. No one comes off well. Ham looks like he just turned forty.
Then, for some reason, we cut to KD Lang.
Wow. He really tricked me for a second. Tink was right. I had him pegged as a flaming musical theater queen, and here he was a sensitive feeling lesbian that whole time. Liza Minelli’s gonna be super pissed when she sees what he did to the wig she loaned him. He is singing alongside a guitarist tonight, and in case you haven’t heard, he’s doing a soft and sweet version of the song. And he KILLS. Wow. What a gorgeous voice. He does in fact keep it soft throughout, and he feels the crap out of it. Sure, you could argue that he sounds like an old broken down castrato hustling for change in the subway, but that makes this version of the song even more heart breaking. The only part I don’t buy is the lyric “My smile is my makeup.” Actually, the five pounds of Loreal you caked on is your makeup, but I’m a dick to even bring that up tonight cuz that was so damn perty. I even loved the lipgloss.
His family doesn’t jump up and down like all the other families. They’re just calm and serene, like “he don’t need us.” Smokey gives him a standing o though. Skara does too. She says “one of the best performances of the night”. One of? Who even came close to that? She adds that he showed artistry. Artistry! Art! Artistry!! Yay art! SHUT UP. Get a Thesaurus. Paula says he’s in a league of his own and likes his drag king hair and lack of nail polish. And as a sidenote, is this Ham’s brother? Cuz I’m in love.
Scarf guy, not Leatherface.
Simon disagrees with Skara and says it was the best of the night. Thank you. Paula asks for someone to feel her biceps, but no one pays her any attention.
Very nice. Now just work on the under jiggle.
Simon gushes and gives Smokey props for writing such a great song. Ham has emerged as a staaaah! Randy knew he could do anything and tonight Ham proved it. Tink doesn’t even bother with an interview and just gives out the number.
Tink stole Gabriel’s horn on his Heaven tour! Little bitch!
Church Lady is next with “Get Ready” cuz it’s fun and gets people movin. To the parking lot. Smokey doesn’t like that he left out “Alright, out of sight” and Danny’s all “can I shout it? Then I’m in!” Church Lady comes out clapping way off the beat, which is a bad sign. He hops up and down like a little kid who has to pee and runs/wanders all over the stage. What the hell is wrong with him? It’s like Little all over again. Way too fast, way too much. And the advice last week was to show that he could do something other than shout, which he doesn’t even attempt. Hokey’s a talented guy, but ouch. This was his worst by far. And the highlights and goofy faces to the camera ? Not helping.
Yikes. Stop pestering me.
After making about ten faces that put Oil Rig Bear to shame in closeup mode, he sprints to the backup dancers and does a little roll arm move with them. It’s the first move he’s done in rhythm I think ever, and I can’t help but wonder if leading up to that moment is what had him so terrified looking the rest of the time. Paula says he’s “undeniable, identifiable, and always reliable”. How sighable. Simon thinks it was clumsy and amateurish. Randy says he’s like Levi Stubbs and loved the energy. Skara loved the personality and it wasn’t great but she’s still a huge fan. Man if the judges talked this little all the time this show could be an hour again. I don’t care that the judges have all decided it’s time to corner the Praise Music market and won’t say anything too bad. That shit was lame.
Cholaheta’s last with “Papa Was a Rolling Stone”. Smokey’s advice is “learn the lyrics”. I hope he’s getting paid a shitload of money tonight. Love this song, and the arrangement kicks ass. At first I worry that Chola is just gonna do the same ole thing she always does, and in certain ways she does, but this time she gives a little more of a smooth, low performance instead of a straight through belt. She feels the crap out of it. In the middle she starts babbling, but it’s in rhythm so I can’t tell if it’s part of the song or she forgot the words. I don’t care, but I wish she did more of it cuz it was the best part for me. She even belts pretty far up for her last note, proving that she’s got more than an octave. Atta girl! I would still like to see her pull a Hambert and do something softer, but she did well tonight fo sho. My only problem is that I miss the chola bangs. Get this girl some Aqua Net!
Skara is standing and screaming and yelling by the end. Randy calls it blazing hot. Skara can’t believe she was in the bottom three last week and says she sings like she’s been singing for four hundred years. Literally. Four hundred years of smoking heavily. Paula was so in love with Hambert’s KD Lang tribute that she now has a mustache. I guess it helps make sense of whatever’s under her skirt.
She thinks Chola is awesome and amazing, and Simon calls Alison a survivor and this was one of her best ever. He doesn’t stop laughing at Paula’s crayon mustache the whole time. Do these judges even watch while the kids perform? Come on now, you make like eight billion dollars a year dude at least act like you give a crap. So the results are already playing right now on the East Coast, so we will know who’s out within the hour. I hope it’s Doi, but I’m thinking it will be Oil Rig. Man as I finish this cappy they are playing the recap clips and Doi is worse the second time. Send that ho home!
TV Social
-
39 Comments
Hanson so IS brilliant
LOL again Flipit! Megan “bird flu” Doi was worse than Papaya Sanjaya doing “Bath Water”. I honestly think Megan’s performance was the worst in the history of AI. I was wondering what your take on Hambert’s transformation would be and once again you nailed it with your KD Lang observation. HAHA. Thanks for the laughs.
Put Adele in a blender with Amy Winehouse, then remove all the talent…and what you have left is Megan. Yuck.
Gokey (and I say this as a fan) was disappointing. Cholaheta was by far the best of the night.
I was certain that Paula’s under-my-skirt was about her ben-wa balls. That’s why she looks so pleased all the time.
Megan, Megan, Megan, if you’re not going to show off your tits, why bother? I’m very disappointed. I think she deserves another week so she can work on her wardrobe. Although the results show was last night and I haven’t watched it, so for all I know she’s already been canned.
Still, there’s far worse than her — Oil Rig Bear, for one thing, who should never have been allowed into this and is definitely taking the spot that could have gone to any number of people. Ditto with the weird-faced dwarf guy. Sideways mouth!
Actually, while watching this episode, I came to the conclusion that this crop of singers is decidedly MEDIOCRE. Even the favorites — the only one who stands out a bit is Hambert, but he still seems stuck in theater/Vegas show/stripclub…I just don’t seem him as a bonafide ‘recording’ artist. At least he’s entertaining to watch.
Chola-girl was okay. She seems far better than she is only because the others suck so much –she has the voice, but not the bod and definitely not the experience– but in 10 years, she could indeed be one very fine singer. At any rate, she sang one of my favorite songs of all time, so props for that. Right up there with Suicide’s Frankie Teardrop.
Speaking of songs…the Motown catalog is HUGE. Amazing stuff in there, and the best they could do was….Heatwave? They just chose the most beaten down, overplayed songs, probably because the main voting audience wouldn’t normally listen to none of that ‘race’ music.
I’m pleased that AI has gotten the message and toned down the religidiocy. Praise the Lord!
Though I don’t care for him and his theatrics, I do think Adam has a nice voice. There was just way too much falsetto in the song he did for my taste. My favorites of the night were Matt and Allison. Seeing as Allison was bottom 3 last week and Matt was bottom 3 this week, maybe I should start voting. I wish there wazs a number you could call to vote someone OFF, cause I would blow that up for Scott. When I saw him in the pink pants all I could think was “that’s just wrong.”
Oh and I totally agree about Adam’s brother or whoever that was with his family. Yum. Just keep him on the TV while Adam sings and I might start to like him.
Uh……yeah….
My picks at the beginning of the season were Adam, Lil and Gokey. I still think I’m right, although the latter two did themselves no favors.
What kind of magical ju-ju is Megan spreading over America that keeps her butt safe week after week? She is a no-talent ass-clown who just happens to be reeeeeally hot. Because hotness comes in sooooo handy on the…radio…yeah, maybe we should all vote for her.
Anoop: great voice, looks like a CPA. Sorry. It will never happen.
You could tell that Sarver was ready to go home. And the “save your butt” performance? You could tell he was all no-pressure, cuz he KNEW they wouldn’t save him. What a difference from Alexis, who I swear would have jumped straight up to Jesus if someone came up behind her and said Boo.
Sorry, just realized I was commenting on the results show. Anyone else notice that they seem to let the show run overtime JUST enough to cut off on everyone’s DVR’s just as they’re delivering the big news?
Flipit, I love you! Adam as k.d. Lang. Brilliant. And I have no clue if that is his brother, but damn, he’s a cutie. Almost as cute as the Billy Idol lookalike from a few weeks back, wearing the quilted, studded black jacket? Hot. Adam should just stock the audience with his good-looking crew.
Mo-town. Ugh.
I liked Gums. I don’t get America’s vote. Again. But I’ve spent the last eight years cursing America’s right to vote and being from Texas (unlike a certain president) who unfairly got the blame. Bah.
Gums was cute. He sang well. I wanted to get laid, which is what that song is supposed to do.
Kris? Boring. Yes, he’s cute in that sort of Zac Efron sort of way that is both charming and utterly forgettable. Less hair, less teeth, but an Efron, definitely. The sort you love at 12 and by 30 are embarrassed to have had his lip-glossed face plastered on your bedroom wall.
Scott. Ruined a perfectly good song by trying to Hornsby it. Again. Trying something different is not getting backup singers to dance smarmily around a baby grand. They could have been naked and you still would have sucked, dude. Next time, get your brother to pose naked on the baby grand and I will totally vote for you. Bonus votes if you can get Ham’s brother up there with him.
Megan was painful enough for me the week to change the channel to ANTM, because starving stick insects bitching about what bitches the rest of the model bitches are is totally more entertaining that Megan joyless performances. Joss Stone makes you look like total ass, chica.
I wanted to like Oil Rig, but it took it to the church and over the top. Like, how when I was sitting in church as a kid, my mom — an alto — tried duking it out with this chick who was a soprano? Meaning, during “Holy, Holy, Holy,” all I ever wanted was for the singing to stop or ear plugs. Possibly both, because we still had the Kyrie coming up and our Pastor was *not* Church Lady. So in that way, Oil Rig totally churched it up and made me have flashbacks to wholly uncomfortable childhood memories.
Anoop. Hate the song, liked his vocals.
Ham. I’m in love. He and Bill Idol boy and his brother need to form a girl group. Hamson. I would totally buy that shit. He killed this song. So beautiful. That last note reminded me of Jeff Buckley, but it was completely Adam, too. Awesome. This guy is already ready for an album, even if Church Lady wins it all.
Church Lady has totally bought into his own shit. Arrogant arse ignored Smokie. I am no longer objective about this guy, you know. Maybe I never was, but he just comes off as a dick. Sorry your wife died, but, man, you just ooze insincerity. Tonight, I wanted to smack you.
Allison, I love you girl. Even if you are a mini-Kelly and sort of sort the same every week. Unlike Scott, you have charisma to pull it off. Still, I have to think unless they have a Broadway Week and Church Lady and Ham off each other over the chance to sing “Jesus Christ: Superstar,” you may be SOL. Cute 16 year-old singer has already been done.
Dear producers:
Please get Matt a cortisone shot to the forehead. That blemish is OUT OF CONTROL.
Love,
Peggy
Megan looked like Jon Benet Ramsey would have if she grew up. She has terrible posture and saggy boobs but that girl is beautiful. Its hard to notice her butcher the song with that face. She has an interesting voice but seems to have given up.
Ham threw me for a loop – I didnt think he had it in him and neither did the rest of the world…he wasnt as great as he was surprising. He rocked the Zac Efron/Chace Crawford look though. Hes to feminine looking to be KD Lang
Allison is the one we should be watching. Girl has natural talent. She might need a diet and a fashion consultant but she can SANG.
Little picked the wrong weave and the wrong song – this should have been her week like last week should have been Oil Rig’s. They both were lacking!
“Like playing darts in a crowded bar with no help”…That comment alone caused coffee up my nose…what a great way to start a Friday! Simon and Paula are over the top rude with these contestants. This show is not about them –these contestants want comments/criticism/whatever. After Wednesday’s performance, I am on Team Adam FTW!
My penis is in mourning over Michael’s ouster. I’m wearing black boxer/briefs in tribute to him. And let me tell you something FLIPIT, if you keep posting unflattering photos of Michael I’m going to track you down, pull down your pants and SLAP YOUR ASS -HARD.
Uh, my plastic surgeon could take care of GUMS’ unfortunate mole/zit problem. I would suggest GUMS seek professional help.
Didn’t Nathanial wear Scott’s pink pants? I think AI recycles!
The creep stalking Scott’s sister is very sexy. Daddy, come over here. I got something for you to stare at.
You know, Meagan always has great looking eye makeup. Last week she had copper eyes and this week they were blue, I think. Whoever is doing her eye makeup is doing a great job.
Oh, one more thing: Church Lady is so arrogant that he completely disregarded Smokey’s advice…and he bombed. Yep, CL, I’d say that Smokey’s “been in the business” a bit longer than you…
FYI — It’s BERRY Gordy, not Barry.
I LOVED Motown week!
Smokey Robinson’s been churning make-out music since the 60s. My parents snogged to his tunes. To this day, if I hear “Being With You” I’m right back at the Junior High dance with Bonne Bell lip gloss and Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. *sigh*
Yeah, it irked me that Gokey ignored Smokey’s advice but it really pissed me off when Smokey gave Adam a standing ovation that Adam took in stride with a little tight-lipped smile. WTH? Smokey gives you mad props and you TAKE IT IN STRIDE??? Anyone else would have lost his shit. Ya know, get teary or something¦ Sheesh.
OOooo, and even worse; KARA decided to make a big deal about standing up following Adam’s performance AFTER Smokey frickin’ Robinson already stood up. Puh-leeze. Sit down, woman. You cain’t follow Smokey.
My fave is still Matt. Blemish notwithstanding.
I’m convinced that blemish is actually Matt’s unicorn horn, and I’m hoping he stays on the show long enough for it to grow in.
Megan is Vote For The Worst’s choice –do they really have any kind of influence over the voting?
At any rate, there’s no way Matt truly was at the bottom (no, no, Mr. Dangerous, not that bottom), they just did that for dramatic purposes.
TheVoiceOfReason: I didn’t think that Ham was giving a tip-lipped smile. I thought he looked like he was biting his lip to keep from crying. At least that’s what I do when I am trying not to cry. He was pretty deep into that song.
Matt is great. The song worked for me much more than any other guys’ but Ham’s.
I don’t think the guy’s makeup guy is as good as the girl’s. Clearly, they have some sort of background in drag and/or beauty pageants b/c they cake that stuff on! I think Matt’s blemish might be a mole. It doesn’t look angry enough to be a zit to me.
Then again, they caked so much makeup on it, it stands out like a unicorn horn, poor baby. Having a mole didn’t hurt Cindy, let that mole go free! (Or if it is a zit, put the danged thing out of it’s misery.)
jennaboa – I like the way you think girl! Having Scott and Matt’s brothers pose on the piano – helluva an idea babe.
Jenna: Okay, benefit of the doubt and all. Maybe.
Adam is still too polished, though, which is why I dig Matt so much.
Chola and Ham did the best and they both have the best stage presence. Most contestants get on this show and say they have been singing since the were little kids but you can tell these two have been ‘performing’ since they were little. Even with Ham being over the top he is easily the best guy. Chola out did the girls and most of the guys and even if she does not have the best body it did not stop Kelly C or Jordan S from winning and isn’t that one of the reasons for the show, to get people seen who might be overlooked by music industry excects that often look at image before talent anyway.
I think Lil is going to fall into that same pit that Malinda and KiKi did on their season in which they were outshone by Jordan and Blake. Malinda and KiKi delivered great singing during the audition and to make it through the weeks into the top 6 girls, but then on the big stage they either made bad song choices or did mediocre performances or just lost the public’s appeal. This happened to Aussie and Irish last season too. Lil was not great this week or last and while she may still be pulling in votes she is not delivering on stage and if she keeps that up she will not make it into the top 3, nor would she deserve to be there.
Someone might have already said this but I think the guy sitting with Adam’s family is his boyfriend. He looks ALOT like the guy Adam was kissing in the picture that was “leaked” several weeks ago. Plus, last week, the caption underneath them said “Adam’s family and friends” and the mystery guy was sitting there.
ATLchick, I was thinking the exact same thing about it being his boyfriend. Of course I would love to believe it is his adorable and charming straight brother, but I don’t know many straight men who would wear a scarf inside just as part of an outfit.
Uh, I think Adam can have a “friend” and it doesn’t necessarily have to be his boyfriend.
BTW, he and “the friend” probably did “it.”
Finally, Adam doesn’t seem like the “one-man-man” type. I suspect Adam has LOTS of boyfriends.
Blazergirl:
None that I know.
Besides Chet from the Real World??
Mr Dangerous:
You most definitely could be right. I was just trying to place him for people that had no idea if he was friend or family. I guess I’m saying he’s at least a friend with benefits.
Adam’s probably not a one-man guy, with that smile and obvious confidence.
And it takes a lot of confidence to get caught snogging someone who looks just like you, only younger.
Oh, vanity! (But I don’t blame him one whit.)
The kid with the scarf looks like he’s 14, and Hambert looks like he’s pushing 40…hmm…we can change start calling him Humbert…
That was good Itchy.
Matt almost got nailed by America’s short attention span. Then Adam made everyone forget anything that had happened before.
Adam was awesome… the best. I played it back four times.
Allison was great, too.
Anoop was very good – 2 weeks running now.
How was Megan not in the bottom three??
Megan is still in it because she is really gorgeous (except for her blue arm)and she’d got some ‘tude. That, however, will only carry her so far as we all know. Meanwhile, KD Lang? I laughed and laughed (but not as much as the confused dandelion comment a couple weeks back).
Speaking of which, I am so ready for Scott to go. The newness has worn off and now its just blahhhh. Plus he’s holding everybody else back in the group numbers – there’s only so much sitting down dancing you can do.
ATLChick,
That is because Chet does not know he is Gay. He thinks he is Metro.
fire@will,
I am all for a AAA final three with Allison, Adam and Anoop (in that order).
Scott should have never made it past Hollywood week. They could have sent him home with that Osmond kid.
Megan said her fans are voting but some think she is getting the VFTW website votes.
The VFTW people do make a difference at this stage of the competition because there are still so many contestants, so the votes are spread out more. When it gets down to 4 or 5 people, and the fan bases are consolidated, VFTW doesn’t matter anymore.
But at this point, they are what is keeping Megan in. And they are the reason why the judges over-ride was created…in case there’s a week when Megan stays and one of the favorites (Danny, Adam, Allison, Lil, or Matt) gets the boot. Those five would bring out the over-ride.
I also think it’s a mole on Matt’s forehead…and it’s big enough, he should be having it checked. Even if it’s not a health hazard now, he might want to get it removed.
Most of the time when I think about this show, I completely forget about Kris and Scott. I can’t figure out how they made it this far. And why, when Kris sings, we rarely see his teeth.
Okay, so I was talking to my straight-ee brother on the phone last night and he watches AI with his son. My brother thinks Adam is the only one with talent but he likes the girl with tattoos on her arm. I asked him “why?” and then there was this long pause. Uh, he really couldn’t tell me why he liked her butI knew. Blame the straight-ees for Meagan being there. She is without a doubt the prettiest contestant and I certainly understand why they vote for her.
I can’t believe you didn’t mention kara’s six words that were actually eight, I was so distracted by that I didn’t hear anything else.
Semencrest made fun of her for the six words thing on the results show…”I got three words for ya–Kara Dia Gwardi”
I like the concept of VFTW (even though the people who comment on the site are kind of lowbrow), but I find it hard to believe they can really affect the results out of 36 million votes. I think they’re just stroking their puds–the producers clearly manipulated the ‘results’ this time.
Still, I’m happy to have Megan to look at because, let’s face it, apart from her all too abundant rounds, Lil looks like she has Down’s Syndrome and I find it hard to fantasize about the handicapped. And yeah, we straight guys always fantasize about the ladies on tv. Not necessarily in a sexually blatant way, but at least in a cloudy daydream-like gosh-she’d-make-perty-kids biological way.
And Chola already looks busted at 16 –so on the one hand, she’s a minor, on the other hand she looks like a grandmother. Neither of those hands are enough to stimulate my, er, imagination.
They should have kept the other redhead, Jesse or whatever, nice bod on that one. And a better singer than the first four to be eliminated. And Scotty. Who should be next.
I’d had hopes that Megan would develop into a decent singer on the show, but it looks like that’s not happening. She needs voice lessons badly–she’s got the basis of a great voice but she just doesn’t seem to know how to use it yet.
Still, I prefer to listen to (and watch) her sing than the Church Lady’s bullshit shouting matches –sure he knows how to growl, but he’s just pretending to sing. And he looks like a troll.
And Matt’s just ugly when he’s singing–which works fine for Tom Waits. If he’s lucky, he’ll stick around for a couple more shows, but he won’t win. He might salvage a career.
Humbert should win –he’s corny enough to be America’s Idol. Hard to believe the trailer-trash/jesus-freak crowd vote will go for him though.
Someone else asked the same question at VFTW and here’s the response:
“There’s the flaw in your reasoning. We are nothing if not dedicated here at VFTW. I’d guess we average a good 500 votes per person, not 20. I personally can put in over 1,000 votes in 2 hours easy. If we have 2,000 people voting (a pretty safe bet) that’s 1,000,000 votes, which would have been almost 3 percent of the total votes this week. Nothing to sneeze at and more than enough to put someone over the top. Fact is, nobody really knows how many votes Worsters cast each week. I was just making very rough estimates, but I suspect I undershot the actual total.”
Interesting if true.
How on earth can they get in 1,000 votes in two hours? The very few times I tried to call in, I only got a busy signal. I would try for an hour and get nothing…I gave up voting after a couple of seasons.
VFTW wants people to think they have “all this power.”
They ain’t got nuthin’. VFTW isn’t RELEVANT.
“Then, for some reason, we cut to KD Lang.”
Before the makeover, he looked like Joanne Worley
I’m w/ Mr. Dangerous, that stalker is hawt, but calling his sister slutty, well, let’s just say, if I get to hell first, I’ll hold the door open for you!
I’m agreeing with most here, Lil needs a serious step up, she should pretend she’s Mary J singing a motown classic, coz that’s a better slot for her than tepid diva . . . I’m just sayin’, there’s a lot of diva out there . . .
I think Chola is adorable, and could grow to be a hottie, but I don’t care what she looks like, or Gokey or Matt for that matter, I’d just like their voices–what they would actually release would control whether I would actually buy any of it . . .
I mercifully zipped this whole epi, such joy!