No More Favors

American Idol

By B-Side | Wednesday, May 3, 2006 | 11:51 pm | 70 Comments

group050306Going into tonight’s results show for American Idol, there were only five nervous singers standing on the stage. But now one of them has gone — off to pursue a week of interviews with Ellen and Entertainment Weekly and Jimmy Kimmel. It’s a tough way to go, and after coming so far, it must be heartbreaking to– oh what am I babbling about? Do I really care what happens to these people post-Idol? Not really. Let’s just get on with it.Tonight’s show opens with Ryan Seacrest looking more beanpole-ish than usual. Maybe he got a haircut. Or maybe he’s wearing a smaller suit. Or maybe he just shed ten pounds since last night. Whatever the reason, he looks like a little ferret on stage. Or maybe prairie dog. Just imagine a small, skittish little creature: that’s Seacrest.

After Ryan welcomes us to the show and brags about the 45 million votes cast, we then see Carmen Electra in the crowd, clapping away as if she has any idea about what’s going on around her. Then we see that other loopy lady of the room: Paula Abdul. Her hair is back to its floppy state, and plus, she looks like she’s fashioned her top out of an oversized poinsettia flower.

paula050306
Dare I say that Paula for one brief moment actually looks nice?

Then it’s onto the contestants. Surprisingly, Paris seems to be sporting a bright red outfit just like Paula’s, but upon closer inspection, we see that Princess Pea’s top is speckled with annoying white polka dots. It’s amazing how annoying she is down to the very last detail.

Ryan then questions the kids about all sorts of dumb things: is the pressure getting to you? How has the competition changed? I don’t particularly care what anyone has to say, but I do perk up when Elliot reveals that he sees himself standing in a pool of his own sweat at the Kodak Theater. A beautiful image. Now all of America has nightmares.

When this inquisition ends, Ryan ushers the kids onto the stage. Why? Because they’re gonna have a big singalong! Yay! I wonder what they’ll sing? Maybe “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter? I’m concerned that it just doesn’t get played enough of Idol these days.

Actually, there’s only one song worse than “Bad Day,” and it’s called “Together We Are One.” If the name alone isn’t already causing you to vomit into the nearest receptacle, then you’re one of the lucky ones. This song is horrendous. I’m not sure if it’s playing on some corner of the radio universe, but I’m fairly certain that it’s an Idol original. It is AWFUL. TERRIBLE. HIDEOUS. Marlee Matlin is the luckiest woman on Earth right now.

The tune starts off sounding vaguely like a wartime anthem, like “We Are The World” or “Voices That Care”, but then it veers into Christian Rock territory before settling into one big generic pile of poop. It makes me want to punch something. Someone. Whoever wrote it should be thrown into a volcano. And just when it couldn’t get any more sappy or ridiculous, in walks the gospel choir to force some rah-rah-rah emotion onto us.

You know, people wonder why so many of the idols have never made it big (with Kelly Clarkson being the exception). Well, here’s the reason why. They come up with simply awful songs. I don’t know how a show that prides itself on finding such great talent can have any legitimacy if it’s incapable of producing one memorable tune. The producers spend weeks and weeks and weeks looking for the best singer, and yet they can’t devote more than five minutes to pen a song that even speaks to the current pop landscape. The little ditties we hear on The Apprentice are better than this dreck. That Arby’s jingle? It sounds like “Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” compared to this. On the plus side, imagine how much worse we’d be off if Bucky, Kellie, and Ace were still around?

Finally, this assault on our ears ends, and we see Melissa Gilbert clapping along in the audience. Standing behind her is Mr. Justin Guarini — who I always have to mention has a surprisingly firm (er, painful, actually) handshake. Sadly for him, his fifteen minutes have long since faded, and the producers don’t even bother giving him a title card (neither now or later in the show when the cameras pass him again).

It’s time for a commercial break, and when we return, we get to see the ridiculous Ford Fusion commercial of the week. This time, it’s a take on “Hollywood Swinging,” and yes, once again, it all takes place on a stupid city set. We see the top five huddled in a Ford, driving past the intersection of Holly and Weird (Hollyweird, get it?), and ogling at all the crazy people on the streets around them. And hey, there’s that dog they were chasing last week during the Blondie song! By the way — no surprise here. Elliot’s stuck riding bitch. Good thing Mandisa’s not around anymore. They’d have to tie her up to the ski-rack on the roof. Okay, that was cruel. But you know you were all thinking it.

At the end of the commercial, our group steps out of the car, and guess what? They’re just as weird as all the other people they’ve been staring at! Amazing! And talk about costumes. Holy McPheever! Breasts and curves bulging everywhere. And Paris! The hair! The HAIR! And finally, there’s Taylor who’s dressed in shoulder pads and some neo-Raiders Nation garb. It’s bizarre and surreal and thankfully over very quickly.

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Back on the live show, Ryan tells Paula that the fans thought she was the best this week. Which fans were those? And furthermore, who is that guy with the goofy smile sitting behind the judges. He’s really been distracting me.

goofyguy050306

Anyway, Ryan then recaps last night’s show and then it’s off to another commercial. When we return, our intrepid host announces that a private jet is ready to whisk the final four off to Graceland where they’ll prepare for next week’s Elvis spectacular, along with the help of record mogul and former Mariah hubby, Tommy Mottola. I really don’t know if I can deal with a whole hour of Elvis, but I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. I highly doubt anyone will sing my favorite Elvis song, “Blue Christmas,” but we can always hope. Okay, we really can’t. My wishes are screwed.

Okay, time to screw with the idols. Ryan says he’s looking for the bottom two. Taylor and Chris are both safe. But what about Paris? No surprise here. She’s in the bottom. Before we can find out who’ll be joining her, Ryan then makes her sing “Kiss” again. I take that as my cue to his the fast forward button. Meanwhile, Katharine and Elliot look absolutely petrified. The McPhee seems like she may have just witnessed a murder. There’s nothing for her to worry about though. When we return from the break, we learn that she’s safe, which means the bottom two are Paris and Elliot. Now Elliot sings, and I fast forward again (pausing only to see Paula’s drug-induced seat dancing).

And now the showdown. The person going home tonight is… Paris! Haha. Knew it. Looks like somebody ran out of God’s favor. Well, we know what this means. Cue up the Daniel Powter montage!

“‘Cause you had a bad day / you’re taking one down / you blah blah blah’d and you blah blah blaaaah / you had a bad day / I really do suck / this song is the worst / I wish it would go awaaay.”

pariscut
Au Revoir, Paris!

And that was that. Paris is surprisingly sans tears, and as the show comes to a close, Ryan hands her the microphone and has her sing “Be Without You” one last time. Ever the machine of mercy, my Tivo abruptly cuts away at this time, thus sparing me more time with the gifted but annoying moppet.

What did you think? Happy with the outcome? Who’s next?

About

70 Comments

  1. 1
    Wade
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 12:25 am

    Marlee Matlin is the luckiest woman on Earth right now.

    Yeah, deaf people sure are lucky. Blind people, too. And cripples, don’t forget cripples.

    Sheesh.

  2. 2
    Shollia
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 12:39 am

    That group song was hideous.
    God… there aren’t enough words to describe how much I hate the group songs…..

  3. 3
    NightBird
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 2:00 am

    Wade why in the world would you get offended by that comment? You do read the blog postings here right? You are aware that the trade mark is snarkines???

    If you want Television re-caps for the politically correct feel free to check out Pat Robertson’s blogs.

    Just my humble opinion. ;-)

  4. 4
    Smoke_Rulz
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 2:05 am

    Yeah, I wasn’t a huge fan of that group song. At all. Though I love how Chris hit a surprisingly falsetto high note when he started the song. It was a little surprising.

    I tend to not pay attention to the Ford videos. In fact, I have not seen any of the Ford videos this year. However, by some fluke, I did happen to look over at this week’s as it was ending to see their goofy asses in those outfits. And I’m glad I did, because I actually had a nice laugh.

    Anyway, I’m “happy” with the outcome. At this stage it’s a bit sad to see anyone go, but my prediction this week was Paris, so I am happy I was correct. I half expected Katharine to hit bottom 2 with her, though.

    Anyway. Next week appears to be all Elvis, which is a little strange, because I thought they would go dual theme again. And this is a good chance for someone to royally screw up. Though I think Taylor is gonna completely tear up Elvis week.

    Next week I foresee either Katharine or Elliott gone, probably Elliott. As much as I’d like to see either of them go up against Chris in the final 2. But I guess we’ll end up with Chris vs. Taylor in the finale.

    Until next week, then!

  5. 5
    Lizardqueen
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 3:51 am

    Was this on last night? I forgot to care after that crazy Amazing Race. Whoops. Paris will be fine. Don’t shed any tears for her. “Thank YEW.” Elliot has the best voice on the show and he’s in the bottom two. Go figure. Well at least I can now picture Elliot in a pool of sweat gnawing away on his fingers with his rat teeth. Wicked hot.

  6. 6
    Tony A.
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 4:33 am

    Finally, my prayers were answered. Most annoying was Randy and Paula’s fawning over the munchkin all these weeks because her mom’s so famous. OK, but her mom is not annoying.

    Speaking of Randy, the man needs to realize he’s not a young rapper and his “Yo,yo, yo!” and “Check it out” are waaaaaay past his time. Dude, you’re older and fatter. Leave the young stuff to the young people.

    So, what lies ahead? I think Chris will win it all. He has the presence and the voice. Simon should bite his tongue for planting a seed of doubt about Chris’ voice Tuesday night. The one annoying thing is his Bo Byce-ish habit of carrying the mike stand around. Hey, moron, it’s a CORDLESS mike. Just take the damned thing out of its holder. You’re branding yourself as a follower, not a leader. Every garage band in America does it.

    Wade, get a sense of humor transplanted. The Marlee Matlin comment was not hurtful. Ignoring someone’s handicap (yes, handicap, not aurally-defficient) is not the right thing to do. Rock on, B-side. This is the first site I visit every morning. Now you guys quit hating on Terry! He’s going to kick ass tonight again.

  7. 7
    Wizzard
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 4:42 am

    Tony (#6), I’ve been saying the same thing about Randy. he’s way too old for all that yo-yo hip-hop crap. It’s almost embarassing.

    Glad Paris is gone but definitely not surprized. This was long overdue. Elliot is next.

  8. 8
    zoobabe
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 4:48 am

    I’m happy with the outcome, although I didn’t watch the show b/c I was watching Lost. That being said, I’m happy that I also didn’t have to subject myself to the group song.

    Kat in that dress in the Ford video? Wowza!

  9. 9
    jenny10girl
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 5:36 am

    I can’t wait to get that new TiVo that can record 2 channels at the same time. I too was watching LOST, but it sounds like I should be happy I missed this. Thanks for the recap!

  10. 10
    lowtalker
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 5:45 am

    I agree that the group song was very bad last night. I could have done without that. Let’s not do that again, ok?

    I am happy with the outcome last night. I think that Elliott will be the next to leave. But I could be wrong. Lord knows it wouldn’t be the first time.

  11. 11
    RealityTV4Me
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 6:34 am

    My cable was out last night so I missed this episode. But I heard something about Paris handing her gum to Ryan. What was that about?! Good riddance. I think a lot of people thought they should have just stopped production right after her initial audition. That voice was jaw dropping. Just goes to show you how much personality and having a normal speaking voice are equally important to your singing voice.

    Go Chris!

  12. 12
    happy_gal
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 6:54 am

    I am dreading Elvis week. I am already vomiting at the prospect of Taylor singing “Jailhouse Rock.” Come on, you know he will. I love the man, but he will totally spaz out if he sings that.

    BTW, totally off topic, I still maintain that all the players on Unan1mous are actors. That will be the shocking ending that is revealed next week. Maybe only one is not an actor (Vanessa?)and will get a big chunk of money.

  13. 13
    HoneyBunny
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 6:58 am

    Two weeks in a row the person see wearing Paula’s Star necklace has been voted out — I smell a curse!

    Paris got the KISS – OFF.

    hb

  14. 14
    wniffene
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 6:58 am

    “‘Cause you had a bad day / you’re taking one down / you blah blah blah’d and you blah blah blaaaah / you had a bad day / I really do suck / this song is the worst / I wish it would go awaaay.”

    B-Side with these lines I think you may have saved my sanity, now whenever I heat that horrid horrid song I can just inset these words and I probably won’t want to kill anyone.

  15. 15
    JasonR
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 7:06 am

    Maybe instead of that piece of crap “American Inventor”, Simon should develop an “American Songwriter” show, and the winner’s song(s) get performed/recorded by the Idol winner. Jesus, that’s a pretty good idea I just gave away for free! That song was awful. It made the Apprentice/Burt Bachrach song sound good.

  16. 16
    JasonR
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 7:09 am

    And someone better do “Burning Love” next week. Great tune. “Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Love!”.

  17. 17
    flipkicks
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 7:23 am

    Paris is TOTALLY faking that baby voice … and i have PROOF … i clearly heard her use her normal voice and then switch “on” the baby voice … check it out

    http://flipkicksandnightbellows.blogspot.com

  18. 18
    whawha
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 7:45 am

    Okay…now that Paris is gone (“thank yeeeeeeww!”), it’s time to play “Name That Idol’s Next Album Title!”

    Taylor: “Taylor Sings the Animal House Soundtrack”

    Chris: “Staind and Strained”

    Kat: “Love Songs and Saddlebags”

    Elliott: “I Want to Go Home”

    Any more out there?

  19. 19
    MrsC
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 7:52 am

    LQ- “Thank YEW” heeheehee, you made me laugh so hard with that one!

    RealityTV4Me- I missed most of the show. Thankfully I guess because I really do hate those cheezy group songs! But I did catch Paris giving Ryan her abc gum. He asked her to sing “Kiss” and she seemed surprised to me and so she said ok and gave him her gum. He was a sport and held out his hand. Geez first Mandesa’s shoes, now Paris’ abc gum. What’s next I dare wonder. What a trooper that Ryan is.

    I did expect tears from her family, no, a total breakdown from her family but they took it fine. Paris smiled bigger than ever. She must be from the school of thought where if you wanna cry, smile instead and if you really wanna cry, smile even bigger.

    So very glad Paris is gone!

    Thank YEW!!!!

  20. 20
    MTV4ME
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 7:55 am

    I have an uncanny knack of missing the weekly ford commercial, but DAAAMN Chris looks hot in that get-up. Total S&M fantasy material. Thank you FORD!

  21. 21
    TheEmancipationofGigi
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 8:16 am

    I know this is an unpopular opinion, and I totally agree that Paris’ personality was annoying, but the girl did have an amazing voice, by far the best of the remaining five, so I had mixed feelings seeing her go, especially with an abomination like Taylor still on.

    I really enjoy Elvis’ music and am glad they picked it as a theme, although I am a little nervous if any of them can pull it off. I’m afraid that Chris will overscream it, and Kat doesn’t really have the personality to pull off one of Elvis’ rockier tunes. And as one of the previous posters mentioned, I think I’ll cry when Taylor butchers Jailhouse Rock like he did the Beatles.

    I think Eliott has the best chance to do well with this kind of music…I can see him doing well with a song like “Suspicious Minds.”

    Also, maybe the Idols are only doing Elvis for the first song. Why else would they be having Tommy Matolla on the show? Maybe the second song will be something from his catalogue. Could you imagine an Elvis/Mariah night–great potential, but probably a disaster.

    Still, really pulling for a Chris/Eliott showdown at the end, but I still think Taylor will win (and be the biggest dud of an Idol yet). Eliott or Katherine will be sent packing next week.

  22. 22
    JasonR
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 8:16 am

    Taylor looked like an extra from “Mad Max” in the Ford piece.

    McPhee I think sets a nice example for girls about how you can be very hot without being skeletal.

  23. 23
    G-Money
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 8:17 am

    Well, Paris is gone. Is everybody happy now? Geez, she was only 17. None of us were confused dressers or a tad bit irritating and annoying at 17? It’ll be interesting to see who gets picked on next. Anyhoo, for Elvis week, here’s your song list:

    Taylor: “Burnin’Love” (you can rest easy happy_gal!) and “Can’t Help Fallin’ In Love” (for contrast).

    Chris: “Jailhouse Rock” (so that he can maintain his rock credibility) and “Kentucky Rain” (you know he can kill this song).

    Kat: “Suspicious Minds” (I think she can handle that without butchering it too badly) and “Love Me Tender” (at this stage, let’s keep it simple for her).

    Elliot: “In the Ghetto” (Highly under-rated song from 1968. Taps into Elliot’s empathetic singing style) and “Hound Dog” (give him something to have fun with, show a little performance range).

    Whadday think guys? Any of you got some suggestions for our motley crew of four?

  24. 24
    TheEmancipationofGigi
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 8:17 am

    Totally agree, MTV4ME, Chris looked damn sexy in that outfit. And not to be mean, but I thought Kat looked like a blimp.

  25. 25
    dwightshrute
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 8:23 am

    Third picture from the top = Worst. Gang. Ever. They need to get the crap beaten out of them by The Baseball Furies (obscure Warriors reference).

  26. 26
    dwightshrute
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 8:26 am

    Official Statement from the People of Canada ” We have now relinquished all claims of Daniel Powter. He is not Canadian. He’s, erm, Cuban. Yeah, that’s the ticket. . .

  27. 27
    tiffgasm
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 8:31 am

    “questions the kids”? Taylor’s like 63 years old, hardly a kid.
    Anyway, I’m just so glad to get of Paris. Next to go home- please let it be Taylor.

  28. 28
    JasonR
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 8:32 am

    Gigi, I think that comment on Kat is pretty unfair. If she’s a blimp, then Mandisa was her own galaxy. No wonder there are so many anorexics out there. Yes she’s a little thick in the middle and rear, but I find her totally yummy.

  29. 29
    exlogcabin
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 8:59 am

    Elliott seems to be on the chopping block, but I think if he has an awesome performance, he may just slide into the top three in a pool of sweat. I think he has the best chance of picking up Paris’s votes as they are both soul singers.

  30. 30
    happy_gal
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 9:13 am

    You all know I can’t stand McBeaver, but she is not fat at all or even chunky. She is a gorgeous woman.

  31. 31
    dredge
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 9:24 am

    with you there, JasonR..

    Thought Road Warrior or MM Beyond Thunderdome with Taylor ..hell all three movies.

    And..right on with Burnin Love..and Suspicious Minds..and My Way..Viva Las Vegas Elvis has much promise for those who give themselves over completely.

    I also think Paris, despite the annoying personality, has loads of talent..she will do well as a jazz vocalist.

  32. 32
    HicksPub
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 9:34 am

    Dag, Tony A. (#6), you and your TerryLove(TM) cracks me up. I’ll throw a couple dollars towards your grief-counseling sessions if his torch ever gets snuffed.

  33. 33
    RealityTV4Me
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 9:39 am

    #19 – He asked her to sing “Kiss” and she seemed surprised to me and so she said ok and gave him her gum

    So Princess Puke was surprised that she was in the bottom two AGAIN and appeared taken off guard when asked to sing? Wow.

  34. 34
    Belinda
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 10:12 am

    LQ – You always bring laughter to my morning review of the recap with your comments. Thank YEW TEW.

    I was so happy to see Paris leave. Whew! I still think that Elliott has the best voice – hopefully the Elvis session will bring out the best in him. VOTE ELLIOTT!!

  35. 35
    trixie12
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 10:17 am

    uh, are you serious? Katherine is huge! She is beautiful from the neck up.

  36. 36
    missmermaid
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 10:39 am

    Katharine overweight? I won’t even dignify such a ridiculous comment with a response, other than to say compared to whom?

    A 12-year-old anorexic, titless boy?

    Seriously folks, you are properly screwed up in the head if you think she’s “thick” or “chunky” or “blimplike”. Give me a break.

  37. 37
    happy_gal
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 10:50 am

    I agree with #36. Those of us who live in the real world with real people, not runway models, can see that Kat is nowhere close to fat.

    JasonR, are you reading this???? I can’t believe I am defending her. :-)

  38. 38
    G-Money
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 10:53 am

    I’m chiming in on Katharine. She is in her juicy, delectable prime. She does have a body-type that will engorge in the next ten years if she does not watch the Twinkies. But right now? Come on, you have to either be stone blind or into “…12-year-old anorexic, titless boys” (so aptly described by missmermaid) to not wanna hunker down with this girl. She is red-hot. I am so glad that I am not her dad. Dude must have night sweats worrying about his daughter…

    And yes, for the record, I would hit that. With gusto.

  39. 39
    TheEmancipationofGigi
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 11:41 am

    GEEZ, calm down people…I did not say that Katherine IS fat. I just said that the outfit was not very flattering, continuing her trend of picking lousy clothing.

    Yes, she is a very pretty girl, and society should be thankful to have a “normal” body role model, and blah blah blah.

  40. 40
    Victoria
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 11:59 am

    Paris totally knew she was going home. She appeared to be very much resigned to her fate. Personally, I think Chris should have gone home. At this stage, he just isn’t bringing anything fresh to the competition, and I am starting to find him annoying.

  41. 41
    Aries
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 12:07 pm

    Katharine is not fat. Mandisa is very fat. I’m glad Paris got the boot. She has a lovely voice but she was working on my last nerve. I think Elliot is probably the next to go.

  42. 42
    elpolacko
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 12:18 pm

    so why am i still reading recaps from somebody who fast-forwards through half the show?? paris’performance was even worse than the previous night and elliott, fearing that this may be his last shot, sang the hell out of his song managing to overcome the lousy, overly-loud orchestration. … oh, but i guess you missed that… sheesh.

  43. 43
    cfab
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 12:40 pm

    Am Idol tour hitting the US – going on sale May 20 – YEAH, can’t wait!!!

  44. 44
    trixie12
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 1:08 pm

    “Moooo…”

    -Katherine 4/4/2006

  45. 45
    dredge
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 1:29 pm

    Kat looked amazingly hot in that first song which i can’t remember..
    (marguerita thursdays a my job..woo hooooo!)

  46. 46
    jack
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 1:40 pm

    katherine mcphee FAT? only in all the right places. you can find some faults in her singing here and there (especially on tuesday), but that girl is SMOKIN’! sorry all you haters, but a talented beauty like ms. mcphee-vah will always beat out a beanpole with fake tits and a bogus dumb-yokel act.

    that said, i thought they were all lame this week. mcpheever really tanked on the phil collins tune (which is crap to begin with), and the sultry-knee-walk was kind of forced; taylor really did look like a drunk dad who grabbed the mike at his son’s fraternity parents’ weekend party, and his beatles cover was a) a sacrilege, IMHO, and b) another unacknowledged ‘cover of a cover’–a slightly slower reading of joe cocker’s version, down to the hum at the coda. elliot picked crap songs and tried to oversell them with vibrato and melisma, and while chris’ ‘renegade’ was about as rockin’ as a cover of styx on AI could be (not very), he was really on the verge of total collapse at the end there.

    paris was probably the right one to go, but she’s had worse nights than tuesday. she’s just a little too young, it seems. but she took it like a pro, which made me like her again after she’s been wearing on my nerves for the last month or so (easier to do now that she’s off the tube for a while).

  47. 47
    tvaholic
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 1:40 pm

    Wow, just scanning thru some of the comments while I’m counting down to 5:00. Since when did AI become a beauty paegent? McPhee bugs me but she’s a gorgeous gal. It seems men can have many physical “flaws” (Chris is short & bald-intentionally/sexy though, Eliot’s teeth, Taylor’s grey hair) but we don’t rip them 1/2 as much as we do the women. I only read one comment about Taylor’s belly hanging out on the floor-which the camera zoomed away from very quickly-but there’s an ongoing discussion about whether or not Kat is fat? I love the sarcasm & snark here at TVGasm, but c’mon people! Seriously!!

  48. 48
    G-Money
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 1:51 pm

    tvaholic: Okay, let’s TALK about Taylor’s over-exposed belly. Did you notice how the FOX camera guy deftly swerved the camera up higher once he realized that he had pigskin in the shot? The producer must have been SCREAMING in his ear-piece “We’ve got belly-fat! We’ve got belly-fat!!! Swerve high, 11:00!!! HURRY, BEFORE WE GROSS OUT THE VIEWERS!!!!”.

    While poor Taylor is laying there, dutifully following Ryan’s lame lead, his double-chin is just a-jiggling away. I can’t wait until the show is over and he’s exposed for age-fraud. Premature gray, my a–. First, Michael Jackson with his full-body vitaligo, and now this!!

  49. 49
    patricia
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 1:51 pm

    tvaholic, you said it perfectly. i dont think there is anything wrong with katharine.
    but i do make fun of elliot’s teeth every week. poor guy

  50. 50
    HoneyBunny
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 1:52 pm

    #45 Dredge – What a great place to work.
    Tequila Factory?

    hb (jealous)

  51. 51
    dredge
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 1:53 pm

    um…here’s one for Taylor on looks..
    I WILL NEVER WEAR ANYTHING REMOTELY PAISLEY AGAIN. That’s one thing to leave in the 80s. (If that’s what people want to talk about)…It all comes down to the singing.

  52. 52
    dredge
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 2:10 pm

    hb..one of the minor perks around here…

  53. 53
    tvaholic
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 2:40 pm

    G-Money-You sure as heck didn’t see the camera zoom away like that when the McBeaver made an appearance!! You know, Taylor may be 46, but I bet as long as he wouldn’t do the whoop-whoop soul-patrol thing, I bet he’d be fun at a bar. You’ve got to have a sense of humor to wear a shirt like that.

  54. 54
    whawha
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 2:48 pm

    Taylor is so old…

    …his social security number is 1.

    …someone said to act his age and he died.

    …that when he went to high school, there was no history class.

    …his birth certificate is in roman numerals…

  55. 55
    HoneyBunny
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 2:56 pm

    Taylor is so old -
    He was the lounge singer on the Ark…

    hb

  56. 56
    Belinda
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 2:57 pm

    dredge

    Marguerita Thursdays – Mortgage business??

    We have Friday night open bar here in the law office….life is sweeeeet

  57. 57
    whawha
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 5:08 pm

    hb–

    Taylor is so old…
    he was a busboy at the last supper.

    And Elliot is so ugly…

    …it took the stylist three hours–for an estimate!

    Ba Room Boom!

    whawha

  58. 58
    dredge
    Posted May 4, 2006 at 8:49 pm

    whawha and hb….”owwww..baddabing!”
    as Dice would say.

    Belinda…multimedia, share space with food photographers…roof rights..yes..life is sweet. But not as sweet as the open bar at your law office!

  59. 59
    whawha
    Posted May 5, 2006 at 7:26 am

    Dredge, Belinda:

    I got you both beat. I roll out of bed…and I’m at work!

    I think today is PJs Friday…um, it is Friday, isn’t it? The days kinda blur together when you work from home!

  60. 60
    dredge
    Posted May 5, 2006 at 8:07 am

    Curses!..

  61. 61
    Andreka
    Posted May 5, 2006 at 10:45 am

    Oh come on, why would Paris fake a baby ass voice like that??? Her Kiss rendition was so bad, poor thing. If Taylor would leave out all of the seizure moves and just sing that sexy suave voice and smile, he could win. Chris screams too much and needs to grow some hair. When Elliott makes some money, he could get his jaw and teeth fixed, highlight his hair, wear Tom Cruise heel boots, watch out, he will be hot and a moneymaker! Kat is so hot, she just needs to choose the right songs. She could win. And her curves are smokin’ hot, she is in no way fat at all.

  62. 62
    zevonia
    Posted May 5, 2006 at 11:57 am

    Oh dredge, your comment about the paisley shirt (#51) just shows how young you are. Paisley patterns like that came into vogue in the ’60′s not the’80′s. Though they are actually much older than that and are named for the textile town of Paisley, Scotland.
    Not that there’s anything wrong with being young, you just make an old person like myself feel even older.

  63. 63
    dredge
    Posted May 5, 2006 at 12:20 pm

    lol zevonia,, well..you are right of course..i was simply blinded by the flashback of wearing paisly shirts back in the day….now..a paisley dress and headscarf with hoop earings is a different thing..i won’t discourage that look..

  64. 64
    HoneyBunny
    Posted May 5, 2006 at 1:52 pm

    (#59) whawha – I have this image of you at the keyboard typing away wearing Curious George pj’s…the feet sewed in kind ~~

    hb

  65. 65
    whawha
    Posted May 5, 2006 at 5:50 pm

    hb:

    Close. It’s Power Rangers pjs. Go Power Rangers!

    And I can’t move any muscles in my face. Had botox done for an article I’m writing on the “male sorta-kinda facelift experience.”

    MMMMMmmm. Life is good.

  66. 66
    Megan
    Posted May 8, 2006 at 4:08 pm

    Kat McPhee really needs to step up her game and represent the women! She started off the competition on the top and now she’s part of the top 4! But the past couple of weeks have been a little scary with the inconsistent songs and the bad reviews from the judges, i’m not sure if shell make it to next week. Don’t get me wrong i think she has an amazing voice and she defiantly has a bright future!

    KEEP ON VOTING FOR KAT!!!!!!!!

  67. 67
    Megan
    Posted May 8, 2006 at 4:20 pm

    THANK GOD PARIS WAS KICKED OFF!!!

    Paris didnt win American Idol but she did win the title of the most annoying person that ever lived. Seriously if you’ve just been kicked off amreican idol would you have on this obnoxious smile and pretend that you’ve just won the lottery. Normal people would feel like sh*t.

  68. 68
    jelliepair
    Posted May 9, 2006 at 8:15 am

    I doubt anyone is as lame as me and cares about this stuff but tonights idol tunes are as follows – from the Elvis catalog…

    Elliott: “Trouble” and “If I Can Dream”

    Chris: “A Little Less Conversation” and “Suspicious Minds”

    Taylor: “Jailhouse Rock” and “In the Ghetto”

    Katherine: “Hound Dog/All Shook Up” and “Can’t Help Falling in Love

    I am ambivalent as to who I want to win this thing and I cant believe the inability to sing Elvis songs (which is such a Pop Idol necessity of course!) will send one of these kids home tonight (ok – i use the term “kid” loosly for the Taylor geriatric committee).

    I like them all – but think Chris needs this show the least and Elliott needs this show the most. Why is this even an issue for me? I am so lame…

  69. 69
    Wizzard
    Posted May 9, 2006 at 9:25 am

    Jelliepair (#68) lame or not you’ve made some pretty decent observations. I agree that Chris needs this show the least and Elliot probably the most but beyond that I think that Kat is the most suited to win this. She seems to have the most complete package of what they are looking for. Her looks, singing style, talent, and general “All American” image make her the odds-on favorite.

    I also agree that it’s a shame to have one of them go home because of an inability to sing an Elvis song but I guess that’s just part of the AI package. It could just as easily be a disco song that sends someone home. This is just another step in showing your versatility. If they’re really that good then they’ll rise to the challenge and do a decent job.

  70. 70
    whawha
    Posted May 9, 2006 at 2:16 pm

    Jelliepair:

    I heard the Elvis set list was different…

    Taylor: “Watching The Detectives” and “Mystery Dance”

    Kat: “Alison” and “Moods for Moderns”

    Chris: “Accidents Will Happen” and “Oliver’s Army”

    Elliot: “Veronica” and “Pump It Up”

    And the entire group sings “What’s So Funny About Peace, Love and Understanding.”

    It will be a great re…what’s that? It’s not? It’s not Elvis Costello? It’s the other one…the dead one?

    Oh, never mind.

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