Ellen Named Fourth Judge On American Idol! Paula on Suicide Watch

American Idol

By Flipit | Wednesday, September 9, 2009 | 6:22 pm | 6 Comments

Ellen just signed a contract to be the new judge on American Idol!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!? More after the jump.

Screen Shot 2009-09-09 At 6.20.00 Pm

Paula must have really pissed those people off, cuz you know Ellen didn’t sign some piece of paper with a low figure on it. The Other Simon must have been like “I’ll give a raise to…someone else you psycho biatch. BWHAHAHAHAHAH”. I imagine him talking like the Count on Sesame Street.

The press releases coming out of the American Idol office this Summer have been trickily worded. “Posh Spice is the new judge!” “Mary J Blige is the new judge!” “DeLaguardia released the cheesy song she wrote for the finals!” Well, that last one turned out to be true, actually.

Point is, I would get so excited and open the mail and then it would clarify ” …the new judge for one special episode.” So when I saw this sitting in my box, I thought it was another trick and almost didn’t open it. Thank God I did!

From the release:

Emmy Award-winning talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has joined AMERICAN IDOL as a fourth judge. DeGeneres will sit alongside Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi and offer her own unique perspective to the contestants throughout the competition.

The ninth season of AMERICAN IDOL premieres January 2010 on FOX. DeGeneres will join the judges’ panel after the auditions, which will feature appearances by guest judges Victoria Beckham, Mary J. Blige, Kristin Chenoweth, Joe Jonas, Neil Patrick Harris, Avril Lavigne, Katy Perry and Shania Twain.

“I’m thrilled to be the new judge on AMERICAN IDOL,” said DeGeneres. “I’ve watched since the beginning, and I’ve always been a huge fan. So getting this job is a dream come true, and think of all the money I’ll save from not having to text in my vote.”

I hope that she starts getting drunk, blabbering nonsense and molesting (allegedly) the contestants ASAP!! I am watching Paula’s Twitter account for signs of the inevitable shitstorm, but so far she’s just going to dance class. Come on Paula! If ever there was a time to lose your nuts with abandon, now’s it!

Flipit
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Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

6 Comments

  1. 1
    Dogsnaxx
    Posted September 9, 2009 at 7:33 pm

    This news is just full of so much “win” that it makes my cold cold little heart swell. Can.Not.Wait.For.The.New.Season!

  2. 2
    cattyfan
    Posted September 9, 2009 at 8:18 pm

    Ellen is a funny lady…but she knows ZIP about music. This is just another stunt…and to me, lessens the show’s credibility another notch.

  3. 3
    pixielated
    Posted September 9, 2009 at 9:27 pm

    This is a joke, right? Ellen has absolutely no qualifications. She doesn’t know any more about music or singing than I do.

    Did you see her on “So You Think You Can Dance?”? She just cracked (mostly) lame jokes and praised everybody to the skies.

    This show has really jumped the shark. They might as well have Henry Winkler be the 4th judge.

  4. 4
    waffleboy09
    Posted September 10, 2009 at 12:10 am

    This is terrible. I was so rooting for them to bring in Whitney and this is about as a 180 pick from that as you can get. Man I was so looking forward to Simon getting cut this season.
    I like Ellen but I don’t know what she is going to bring to the show. It’s too bad Ellen is married she so could have been Simon’s next beard, I mean girlfriend, totally straight girlfriend, because Simon is all about the kitty.
    Oh and Pixielated, as for Henry Winkler being the 4th judge, the Fonz? AAAAAAAAYYYYYY! I like the way you think ;)

  5. 5
    Nads
    Posted September 10, 2009 at 1:35 am

    OMG, I laughed so hard about Henry Winkler pix. So funny.

    True, Ellen doesn’t know anything about music, but she may not be a horrible addition. I would have preferred that they kept Kristen Chenoweth as a judge.

    Time will tell. I do know that Ellen is quite the Diva off-camera…So you can bet it’ll be the Simon and Ellen show.

  6. 6
    Mr Dangerous
    Posted September 10, 2009 at 7:28 am

    I do like Ellen.

    I just wish Paula would come back to the show. :(

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