Hey Now, What’s That Sound?

American Idol

By B-Side | Tuesday, April 5, 2005 | 9:43 pm | 34 Comments

constantine_cackleconstantine_STOP

Constantine revealed another dimension of his honey laced voice tonight. I can’t really describe it. One part creepy, one part atonal, and one part flacid. Oh, and just a dash of misguided choirboy.

Click here to hear it.

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34 Comments

  1. 1
    madeyoulaugh
    Posted April 5, 2005 at 11:00 pm

    This is an official notice of my intent to press charges against Constantine. During tonights episode of AI, I MYL….was eye raped. I’m sorry, I can’t continue…it’s too soon. The wound, too fresh–

  2. 2
    Kelley
    Posted April 5, 2005 at 11:13 pm

    I would be party to a class-action lawsuit against Contstantine. I feel pain and naseau every time he is on the screen. These sensations are heightened every time he opens his mouth. I was a Scott Savol fan (I know he is gross to look at), but I find that he bears an uncanny resemblance to the naked molerat on Kim Possible. I had pics, but no links so I will try to get them out soon. I swear, the similarities are striking!

  3. 3
    Kelley
    Posted April 5, 2005 at 11:21 pm

    B-Side- I applaud you for capturing the most painful (and God knows there were many) portion of his performance. Can we talk about how RANDY JACKSON has called him out the last 2 weeks as being a poser? He sucks. Even the most non-rock person/dog ever is on to him.

  4. 4
    Papercuts!
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 6:03 am

    Mrs. Papercuts! was finally able to put her finger on why Constantine is so bad: He sounds like someone pretending to sing badly, a la Bill Murray as the Lounge Singer on SNL.

    We could NOT stop laughing at him (in a bad way) last night, and I kept singing “Star Wars…nothing but STAR WARS…” during his performance.

    Also, when Ryan Seacrest is making fun of you for constantly looking into the camera, it’s probably not a good idea to visibly struggle to not look into the camera, then finally give in and make your “sexy” face while looking into the camera.

  5. 5
    The Dogg Pound
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 6:20 am

    During 90′s week, why didn’t Scott Savol perform “Smack my Bitch Up” by the Prodigy?

  6. 6
    Nixah
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 6:44 am

    I’m totally on board for filing suit against AI.

    Listening to Constantine’s wretched voice and viewing his image has caused me to go nearly insane, as well as lead me to damage 3 televisions since this season began airing. The intent would be to seek damages for mental anguish & the reimburstment for said TV’s.

    If they counter-sue under the guise that I had the option to simply “change the channel”. Then I would have to demolish that theory by having a witness list that included the head of all of the other major networks. For if they didn’t have such shitty options during that timeslot, I would indeed have a choice.

    And another thing. I thought this show was about finding a person with singing talent? Talk about jumping the shark.

  7. 7
    BigMax
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 7:31 am

    There is no way Constantine is a rocker. He IS a poodle in a leather jacket. He definitely spent his school years learning Donny Osmond’s “I’m a little bit rock n roll” moves.

    Nadia, on the other hand, is definitely a rocker. Somehow, however, they cannot figure out that an African-American woman is a rocker.

  8. 8
    Der
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 8:59 am

    Smack my Bitch Up is a drug reference, not slapping his babymomma around. He’s about 300 pounds heavier than your average heroin user.

  9. 9
    Lady J
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 9:57 am

    I never watch this show, but your comments are cracking me up.

  10. 10
    Retroqueen
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 10:26 am

    Constantine is a Creeper that I choose not to look at (he conjures up an extra in One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest)

    BUT I predict that Scott (wifebeater) Savol will be booted after that pathetic out of tune performance

    OR if there is a GOD that Anthony “VonTrapp” will be running for the alps after his Sound of Music audition

  11. 11
    mountain girl
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 10:47 am

    Personally, Paula is now at the top of my crotch kick list. Does she understand that when she stands up for everyone the whole standing-up-and-clapping-thing loses all meaning? In stead of drawing attention to a truly great performance, she’s drawing attention to the fact that she has no idea what a good performance is. Sheesh.

    Tonight better be the first all male bottom three. And while Constantine did make me throw up a little in my mouth, I really really hope that Scott (I’m a Potato Head) Savol is headed home.

  12. 12
    Retroqueen
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 10:50 am

    Hilarious Kelley! for a close up of Anthony “Von Trapp” check out fourth from left:-

    http://www.imdb.com/gallery/mptv/1196/Mptv/1196/5370_0131.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Hammond,%20Nicholas%20(I)

  13. 13
    Retroqueen
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 10:51 am

    Whoops make that 4th from right! LOL!

  14. 14
    Papercuts!
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 11:05 am

    Mountain Girl, I said the exact same thing about Paula last night.

    But at least she wasn’t trying to hold the table down like she was last week (because she was so high/drunk).

  15. 15
    Ashes
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 11:05 am

    Seriously, what is wrong with the people (read: preteen girls) who love Constantine and vote for him in droves? Are they all on drugs? Is it the fault of the lack of music education in many of our schools? Do they all have undiagnosed post-traumatic stress that affects their judgment and ability to see and hear clearly? We as a society must get to the root cause of this problem and fix it pronto!

  16. 16
    Brenda
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 11:26 am

    Can I just ask when it became necessary to hold a note until it cries? It seems like the crowd only gets excited when one of these “singers” does a “run” every 10 seconds. What happened to actually singing a song instead of making the last word of the song 5000 syllables long?

    Okay, done venting, will now go back to wishing Scott Savol gets “iced” in a hit by the Baby Momma Mafia….

  17. 17
    Kelley
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 11:56 am

    So- Fantasia is performing tonight. I am anxious to see if she will sing her hit song “Babymama”. I saw it on Regis and Kelly, and if that doesn’t give you some insight into the ‘fame’ achieved from these stints on AI I don’t know what will. Scary.

  18. 18
    melisa
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 12:01 pm

    I used to like that song…he’s ruined it forever for me!!
    Mountain girl…I couldn’t agree more… I think I may have tasted a bit of puke during his “performance” as well. Ech!

  19. 19
    mellymel
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 12:24 pm

    Retroqueen,

    I love the photo of Anthony. He lives in my apartment building and his family has his front door plaster in his photos from AI.I wonder how his family would act if I would put this pitcure on their door?

  20. 20
    mellymel
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 12:25 pm

    Retroqueen,

    I love the photo of Anthony. He lives in my apartment building and his family has his front door plaster in his photos from AI.I wonder how his family would act if I would put this pitcure on their door?

  21. 21
    Catie
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 2:39 pm

    That sound clip will haunt me forever.

  22. 22
    winkie
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 7:33 pm

    mellymel . . . DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  23. 23
    intruderart
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 7:33 pm

    I’m neither a preteen girl nor am I gay, and I think Constantine rocks. The man is great looking, has presence adn can sell a song. Besides the man loves the original R&B giants like Sam Cooke, Jackie Wilson and Otis Redding. Still remember how he rocked the house doing “Jesus Christ Superstar” in Mass. and I was priveleged to share ths stage with him.

    Sounds like a whole lot of jealous people here.

  24. 24
    Kelley
    Posted April 6, 2005 at 7:46 pm

    Sooooo jealous of his ability to look like he is fu**ing the camera? Assaulting people merely by the sound of your voice? Having three chins rolled into one? You are probably right…

  25. 25
    B-Side
    Posted April 7, 2005 at 12:41 pm

    And the winner after one round: Kelley

  26. 26
    The Player
    Posted April 7, 2005 at 2:35 pm

    umm, and I’m gay and I fully think Constantine is pretty disgusting. In fact, I don’t know any of my friends who think he’s attractive at all. I think it’s middle aged women who make up his fan base?

  27. 27
    Papercuts!
    Posted April 7, 2005 at 2:46 pm

    It’s middle aged women and people who shared the stage/slept with him during a production of Jesus Christ Superstar.

  28. 28
    Curlypacks
    Posted April 8, 2005 at 8:51 pm

    It’s middle aged women and people who shared the stage/slept with him during a production of Jesus Christ Superstar

    And that wasn’t the only thing he shared with them…..

  29. 29
    Chris
    Posted April 9, 2005 at 12:45 pm

    Does anyone know what the names of the last couple of group music videos are? Particularly the last one (today is apr. 9)… I really liked the song, and i cannot for the life of me remember the title…thanx…

  30. 30
    namejack
    Posted April 9, 2005 at 10:34 pm

    constantine is one ugly camera whore. ’nuff said.

  31. 31
    Eris
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 8:24 am

    I think Constantine marks the end of AI…he is so incredibly horrible and yet so many people think he’s “it” that there has to be something seriously, seriously wrong in the world. My friend thinks he’s “awesome” and actually thought Simon’s “astonishing” was a “great review” last night. Am I the only one who took it as a shot?

  32. 32
    L
    Posted April 14, 2005 at 5:19 pm

    Constantine is the 1st person on TV in a long time that makes me want to tune in again, Maybe he plays to the camera, but it works for me when I’m tired afer a hard days work and just wish to be entertained: he’s cute, energetic, charismatic: all the things my comrades and I are not, why do you hate him so? He is a fresh breathe of air in a suffocating athmosphere of boring, tv junk: or are you all jealous????

  33. 33
    L
    Posted April 14, 2005 at 5:20 pm

    Constantine is the 1st person on TV in a long time that makes me want to tune in again, Maybe he plays to the camera, but it works for me when I’m tired afer a hard days work and just wish to be entertained: he’s cute, energetic, charismatic: all the things my comrades and I are not, why do you hate him so? He is a fresh breathe of air in a suffocating athmosphere of boring, tv junk: or are you all jealous????

  34. 34
    L
    Posted April 14, 2005 at 5:21 pm

    Constantine is the 1st person on TV in a long time that makes me want to tune in again, Maybe he plays to the camera, but it works for me when I’m tired afer a hard days work and just wish to be entertained: he’s cute, energetic, charismatic: all the things my comrades and I are not, why do you hate him so? He is a fresh breathe of air in a suffocating athmosphere of boring, tv junk: or are you all jealous????

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