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Tuesday, April 12, 2005
9:43 pm
70 Comments
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For some time now, we’ve pondered just exactly what sort of people vote for Constantine Maroulis week after week. Now we know: enthusiastically ugly women approaching middle age. The longer you look at these two photos, the scarier they become. Note the Joan Allen-ish lady with the alarmed expression behind our portly Constantine fan. According to all the generic thrillers I’ve seen, I’m pretty sure she’s just spotted a sniper up above (possibly played by Jeff Bridges) and is milliseconds away from saying “Oh god.”
Even scarier is the spectral vision of a possessed little girl in the foreground. I’m not sure, but I think she wants to kill us all. The devil’s in her soul, I tell you!
Full-sized pic after the jump.
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70 Comments
I always wonder why people make signs like that. Do you think she really thought Constantine would give her a smooch or did she just want her picture put on TVGasm?
How am I supposed to sleep tonight after seeing that?
Last night’s Constantine-fest was truly horrifying. While I was trying to look away / not look away, the Mrs. kept asking things like “How does he do that creepy thing with his eyes?”
I think this was the performance that almost made me physically ill.
The best (and by “best” I mean “worst”) Constantine moment came BEFORE the show, during Fox’s pre-show promo where they featured individual shots of each of the contestants and their names, similar to how they show Jack Bauer before each episode of 24. Constantine was doing his “sexy look” (better known to the rest of America as “The Rape Look,”) and there was a fan underneath him, blowing his hair up like he was a model on a photo shoot. If B-Side has it on Tivo, he should post a screen cap.
Anyone else see Paula’s drunk-fall early on in the show? She started to fall backwards as she stood and Simon reached out and caught her before she took a header. Woman needs help.
I believe that woman is actually his mother. When I allowed my eyes to open and look at the screen I thought they had the “Constantine’s family” label on that motley crew.
Last nite’s performance was definitely a horror show. It was a choice between having our ears assaulted when we weren’t looking, and when we did peek, alternating between recoiling in horror and screaming for our lives.
Papercuts, that was hilarious! I was hoping that Randy or Simon would pull her chair back and make my day.
And I believe you need more than alcohol to get that “hooded eye/forehead look” she’s mastered so well.
Anyone taking bets how long before she ends up in Rehab or gets arrested for a DUI?
It would have been AWESOME if that woman’s sign had read “Constantine, me love you long time.”
I knew the Constantine tongue shot would make it here, and for the first time I was afraid to come here.
Ditto laska. The anti-Constantine sentiment has been so strong I had to tune in last night and see what exactly is wrong with this guy. Nearly an hour of waiting and finally I got to see him in action. The tongue thing skeeved me. I wasn’t ready for it and… well, not everyone can pull that sorta thing off. There was only one Freddie Mercury, am I right?
After her comments I too thought Paula Abdul was drunk. She said Constantine was the one to beat. Was she awake when Savol and the “Free Bird” guy sang? ‘Cause they were the neck-and-neck front runners last night. Also, she was incoherent and her words didn’t amount to much of a comment.
This show sucks now. It’s clear the judges and producers want certain people to win and will say anything to influence the audience. Fat boy was horrible yesterday but they lauded him with praise. AI sucks, Simon sucks, Paula Sucks (a crackpipe from her weird actions and squeals), and Randy’s just FAT…again. At lease Constantine was good. oooh did i say that?
Hey, I saw Paula’s “fall” last night too. In my opinion, she has appeared to be highly “medicated” for most of this season.
Just scrolling downwards through Tvgasm and *shudder* proof of Constantine’s satanic power —Check out the Britney Spears pregger’s article pic—-
Is she not doing the Connie tongue thing?
It is way past time for Scott and Constantine to go. Scott was terrible through 3/4 of his song last night (not to mention the domestic abuse issue that just skeeves me out. Haven’t others been ejected by the producers for much less harmful behavior?) Constantine is so smarmy, I feel like a need a shower after seeing him on screen. Ugh.
Loved the recap…however, I actually thought Constantine did well last night. The only one I had to fforwad through was Scott…just awful IMO.
The tongue was a little scary, and Paula’s gushing only does harm to the contestant – it doesn’t help!
Paula makes me laugh every week. When she is buzzed she makes up words and slurs. When she is shit-faced she almost eats shit in front of everyone. But I don’t know what to blame that ass backwards stoopid ass retarded ‘CLAP’ on.
I feel like I should throw her some fish…or balance a ball on her nose!
FREAK
i have been wanting to comment on this for weeks. you are hilarious.
my favorite thing he does is when he asks you to call him by waving the ‘hang loose’ sign back and forth near his ear while winking…barf.
potato-wife-beating-babys-mama-mama needs to go.
Did anyone else notice Ryan’s comment about Anwar finding the time to workout?! Sure to fuel hours of “is he/isn’t he” conjecture. When Anwar left his shirt open, I thought “going for the gay vote,” which Seacrest(out)couldn’t resist. But when Constantine did it–oh god, I just threw up in my mouth AGAIN! I just don’t know how many more weeks of Scott, A-Fed, and Constantine I can bear!!!
Oh, and did ya notice Paula’s “dance” moves? Randy leaned so far over to avoid her flailing arms, I just knew he was going to fall.
Ya Constantine sucks and it really doesn’t help when Simon says he was “astonishing”. I was astonished that this so called talent scout actually liked the nails-on-chalk-board gargabe that was spuing from his disgusting mouth. Can you tell I don’t like him? Everyone vote for Bo! Who’s with me???
I’m not sure that when Simon said “astonishing” that he meant it in a good way. It seemed like he wanted to say more but was cut off. Paula is off her rocker.
After many medical consults, the truth behind Paula Abdul’s affliction has come to light: she’s handiclapped.
I came home late from work last night and our VCR was all set up to record Amazing Race (sadly, no TiVo or DVR in this house), so I couldn’t also tape AI. I got home just in time to catch Constantine all backlit and hornin’ it up for the camera. Truly awful.
And I could hear Scott’s pitchiness in the damn recap, and that was only, what, 10 seconds? He better be GONE tonight. (A friend forwarded an AP article that described him as “the portly, bespectacled Savol”….HA!)
awesome pic of the woman with the ‘signage,’ that perfectly sums up his bizarre popularity.
Constantine was extraordinary last night. His stage presence was like an intense acid trip hallucination, where you are being hunted down and then serenaded by a seductive, sexy man that is a combination of Jim Morrison, Bon Jovi, and Ozzie Osborne. He is a serious bad-boy, scary, but intriguing. I had chills going up and down my entire body as he sang, “Nothing really matters, to me¦.”
It doesn’t help that the camera crew seems to ADORE Constantine. The way they kept jumping from camera to camera as he desperately tried to eye f**k each and every one of them. It was like they were filming a music video, and not for the rest of the singers. I am contemplating not watching the show anymore. The night terrors are making it damn near impossible to sleep. The sound clip on here last week still haunts me, as an evil co-worker plays it every time I enter the room.
I agree Editlady. Simon’s “astonishing” comment seemed sarcastic. P.S. Best believe fat boy is off the show tonight… can’t wait!
Brendalicious-
your comments are sending chills up and down my spine. Appalling and disgusting.
Striat up Paula, do you really want another qualude, ohh ohh ohh, or are you caught in a hit and run? Please, promise a new day when two steps forward don’t make you fall two steps back because your alcohol is gonna attack (ok, that one wasn’t good, but what the hey) because I think you need to rush, rush to the hospital if you compliment Scott or Constantine one more time. Well, at least I tried…..
As much as I hate Constantine, he sang well last night, but fortunately his camerman didn’t realize that you shouldn’t aim the camera at a bright light and thus we couldn’t see Constantine’s scary stare part of the time….that was the best special effects. Also, Scott “serial killer” Savol scared me when he talked about being a real rocker, then sang Hall & Oates. Has he never seen the show before, doesn’t he know not to talk back to Simon… I hope he’s gone tonight, and I hope Paula keeps on trucking, cuz she’s a riot!
I’m sorry Brendalicious but Constatnine will NEVER be anything like Jim Morrison. May I remind you that Constantine is 29! Jim Morrison was dead and had already made himself a legend before he was Constatine’s age. And he didn’t have to go on a number of reality shows to do it. Shame on you for comparing a piece of trash like Constantine to a God like Morrison.
B-Side….you ought to warn us about the hillarity insuing when you post like this. I doubled over at my desk at work with laughter when I saw “Linda Blair” in the audience in pre-spew mode…please, kindly give us a small warning!
Further proof that Constantine fans haven’t been laid since the bicentenial. Unfortunatly we’re going to have to endure this torture for awhile longer.
I dont think its HER arm.. it looks like someone behind her that we dont see..
Okay, I’ve been thinking this for a while and now with that Constatine sign I am sure of it. I think FOX makes these signs up and hands them out to people as they arrive. Some of them look too professional and some you just wonder why?
I think the ghost in front of that woman is really the soul that Constatine sold to get him on American Idol.
Okay, I’ve been thinking this for a while and now with that Constatine sign I am sure of it. I think FOX makes these signs up and hands them out to people as they arrive. Some of them look too professional and some you just wonder why?
I think the ghost in front of that woman is really the soul that Constatine sold to get him on American Idol.
Constantine is the best singer on here so yall beta shut up
Constantine is the best singer on here so yall beta shut up
Can we all just forget about Constantine for a second. Whatsup with Randy et al tellin my girl Carrie to get rid of her country act…so when she actually does, Randy says he likes her better being country.
And the judges, do they have the attention span of 1st graders? Paula says Anwar has the best voice, she’ll see Bo in the finals, then Constantine was the one “to beat.” How about a Scott Savol and Anthony Federov final? That would shut them all up.
Blair Underwood – why are you listening to anything Paula says?
Betsy- There are pre-made signs ready and waiting for excited “fans”, but a lot of people bring their own too, they just have to get approval on them to take them into the theatre…And they can’t have too many signs for one person, so they keep a tally…
Thanks Cella. I thought I was the only one who noticed that woman’s arm actually seems to be growing out of her neck (what there is of it). B-Side, you wouldn’t engage in a little Photoshop action for the sake of a joke, would you now?? : )
Oh my God! Isn’t that Margaret Cho!?!?
No photoshop. That’s the woman’s arm for sure. This is only a still, but if you watched it in motion, you’d see.
Much has been made about Constantine’s stalkeresque stare (yikes) but does anyone notice his other signature moves? Like when he pretends he is starting to throw a punch by jerking his right shoulder forward. Why? Why do that? Stop, please, you’re torturing me.
Much has been made about Constantine’s stalkeresque stare (yikes) but does anyone notice his other signature moves? Like when he pretends he is starting to throw a punch by jerking his right shoulder forward. Why? Why do that? Stop, please, you’re torturing me.
Wait, why was Laura Ingalls Wilder on AI tonight, and why did she have sideburns?
plus, I keep snorting at “Joan Allen-esque”…HA! *sigh*…..oh shit!
Smithie, that is not true about the signs. I went to a taping last season. They didn’t hand out signs or count them. They did have to check them to make sure there was nothing offensive.
I so agree that Paula will be in rehab soon!
Say what you will about Constantine-he’s one of only two people who have never been in the bottom three.
I am anxiously waiting for Anwar to go home. I find his performances to be excruciating, and I think last night my ears started bleeding.
I hate Anwar’s extensive wardrobe of bulky jackets and unbottoned shirts. Seriously, time for an extreme makeover.
ha ha, perhaps the best past of this article is reading these angry messages from Constantine’s middle-aged frumpy fans complaining about it!
I dont ever watch American Idol, but I might tune in next week just to see this creepy guy sing. The comments here are too funny!
That photo may become more famous than the Zapruder film! CAN’T ANYONE SEE THAT THE ARM BELONGS TO SOME FOX STAFFER CROUCHED DOWN BEHIND THE MARGARET CHO LOOK-A-LIKE? Can you say conspiracy? Blow-up! I need a blow-up!!!
I see your website is about making fun of tv shows and that’s okay. But you are way off base in your criticism of Constantine Maroulis. He’s cute, funny, wickedly funny, yes, sexy, appealing to a very wide range of ages, men and women. If you are gonna hate someone, no one else can change your mind. But why insult his fans? That woman with the sign was silly and lacking in dignity but I’ve seen that type of “fan” for all celebrities. They are just having fun. Why deprive a middle-aged woman of a bit of funa and a revisitation to the days of her youth? And why criticize her looks? Is that a test of who she is inside?
Constantine should win AI, as he has the most real talent, training, and dedication to a career in music. I’m a musician, too, with degrees, and do feel my opinion is valid. I recognize the right of others to have other opinions. But, sadly, you Bo fans ought to know that Bo and Constantine are apartment mates on the show and are very close and great friends now.
Star Bet- Constatine fan’s aren’t welcome here. No one cares what you think. Go away.
constantine is the hottest thing i have seen in a LONG frickin time. i dont know what all you dorks are on about a “rapist stare”. i think his “sexy look” is sexy and i feel he is looking at me…only me. sigh! anthony federov is a creepy little blonde boy and the fat guy is just revolting. anwar is a bore. and the two chicks are pretty lame. constantine is by far the best, so you all should shut up.
aggred star bet Constantine Maroulis is cute, wickedly funny, sexy,and very appealing.
Constantine should win AI he has the most real talent, training, and dedication to a career in music. you where right adout all that
aggred star bet Constantine Maroulis is cute, wickedly funny, sexy,and very appealing.
Constantine should win AI he has the most real talent, training, and dedication to a career in music. you where right adout all that
All you Constantine lovers will get carpal tunnel before you convince anyone in this arena that Contantine is the super duper hot sexy talented AI contestant. Some of my favorite posts are the ones that involve someone telling the tale of woe at how Constantine’s rapist look made them throw up in their mouth….ahhhh, the joy of mob mentality!
for reals, ain’t no love for Constantine happenin’ here. not now and not ever!
I humbly admit, I am feeling let down at this clarifying moment in my middle-aged, not laid lately, frumpy stage of my life. Randy nailed it. Constantine, was every second equal to the 11PM show at the Hilton, where every night one can hear those familiar words… “Copacabana”…
judge Paula Abdul tried to explain her recent erratic behavior in an interview in this week’s “People” magazine.
In the interview, Abdul insists that her recent onscreen antics – clapping like a seal, kissing Simon Cowell, dancing wildly – are not due to a substance abuse problem.
“I want America to know that I have never been addicted to anything,” she tells the magazine. Instead, her behavior stems from the relief she feels at conquering the debilitating pain of the rare medical disorder Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. “I’m dancing for joy at the fact that not even a year ago I was in so much pain I could barely get up.”
and the treatment for this disorder is…….?
constantine?….a terrifying nightmare…
COnstantine blows…hardcore. The first note out of his mouth last night dropped our jaws. My hubby and I said at the same time, he’s not really gonna do this, is he? We were embarassed for him…ok no we werent’. I was embarassed for Nickleback. The thing can’t sing. I’d want to see serial killer last longer than him. My husband thinks Constantine IS Barry Manilow at best.
I think Constantine’s teeth are a real turnoff. His teeth are so yellow. I don’t think he flosses or brushes. Isn’t that the smile the first thing you notice about a guy?
i’m sad to see constatine go!!! he added excitment to the show and will truly be missed by his fans. but not to worry, because we will be hearing more from him in the future. and for all you constatine haters out there, grow up, get a life and more importantly look in a mirror. you’re the real LOSER. last time i checked constatine is the one with thousands of fans NOT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY!!!??? why should have voted nthony off! not constantine!
constanines gone! nooooooooooooooo! life is not worth living! ahhhhhhhhhh!
Constantine’s face looks like a clogged toilet, he just looks sleazy.
Con-man is gone, so who are y’all gonna bash now? fat boy should have gone first, but unfortunately, he’s got all the overweight, thuggish, domestic abusers’ votes. don’t understand all the con-haters here. he’s actually got talent, despite all the tongue-pouty eyes thang.
Here’s an animated Constantine tongue. It’s 100 x 100 pixels and 57K in size. It makes a great avatar for forums.
Enjoy!
http://img212.echo.cx/my.php?image=contongue5vl.gif
Click ‘Get Links’ below the image to get all the links/code needed to display it.
First off i would like to say that i nearly pissed myself reading your headline…holly crap was that funny. Not only does the woman look like a sniper but that kid is freaky lookin! Its either she is possesed or she taking a crap in your drawers (probably because she had to see for the umptenth time Con stick his tounge out!). Thanks for the laugh and thank god that he’s off; now we only need to get anthony (wanna-be bad immatation of Caly Aiken) and Scott (lard butt) off and were set.