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Wednesday, May 3, 2006
12:45 am
77 Comments
With only five contestants remaining, American Idol doubled up on the songs, which meant we were back to super-rushed, super brief performances. That’s okay, though. Idol is a show best served quick and dirty — because even though we all love relishing in a wonderful performance, there’s nothing more irritating than enduring an endless bomb (ahem, Pickler). So, in the spirit of tonight’s show, let’s cut the chit-chat and get to the good stuff…Tonight’s show starts with visions of tracheotomy scars dancing in our heads. No, we’re not hallucinating. It’s the return of Anthony Federoz, last season’s milquetoast crooner who hopefully has found a lucrative career singing on a cruise liner somewhere in the Mediterranean. Luckily, we don’t have to hear his sleep-inducing voice. He’s just merely one of many celeb cameos spotting the audience.
The camera thankfully moves to the judges as Ryan re-introduces them to America. Paula’s hair is all semi-curly and swept up. I think it looks nicer than usual, but at the same time, it does have a certain crow’s nest style that’s somewhat disconcerting. Hopefully, she’ll keep her nutty emotions in check this week, but I understand that’s a tall order. I won’t get my hopes up.
So here’s the deal for this week. Each finalist will be singing two songs: one from their birth year and one from a current top 10 spot on this week’s Billboard charts. I’m already anticipating a butchering of James Blunt. Anyway, Elliot kicks off the night with a song from his birth year, 1978. It’s “On Broadway” by George Benson, made famous by last season’s resident Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man, Scott Savol. Before we get to the song, however, we get a little glimpse into Elliot’s childhood. He divulges that he has a bad habit of chewing on his finger nails. The audience inexplicably cheers. Yay bad hygiene! I can’t imagine how everyone would react if he were to announce that he picks at scabs. Whoo hoo!! On the plus side, all the finger chewing might explain the bad teeth. I wonder what his fingers must look like. I can’t imagine anything could survive years of gnawing from those chompers.
Anyway, Elliot takes the stage, and after a somewhat boring start, he really gets into the song. He’s got a great voice, but again, the charisma! The charisma! Not really there. But he is significantly better than Scott Savol; so that’s a plus.
CELEBRITUS INTERRUPTUS!
Ace Young spotted in the audience! Still looks quite punch-able!
Okay, back to the show. The judges all like Elliot. Randy and Paula give him warm, if not gushing, reviews, and Simon says it’s not his best performance. Aaand we’re onto our next performer. Whirlwind pace!
After the commercial break, we find two women in the audience hoisting a sing up that reads, “Ryan, we’ll be your Desperate Housewives.” Yes, emphasis will have to be on the word “Desperate.” Something tells me he’d be more interested in the men of Prison Break.
Anyway, Ryan talks to Paris on stage, and she sounds like she’s been pumped full of helium. I mean, her voice is always high, but this week, it’s ridiculous. We then see several photos of Paris in big, ruffly dresses as a baby. Gosh, even then her wardrobe choices were annoying. Technically, they weren’t her choices. Her mother always stuck her in these garments from Ruffle Hell — which doesn’t surprise me one bit.
Well, Paris was born in 1988, and so she’ll be doing a cover of “Kiss” by Prince. Technically, that song didn’t come out until 1986, but Tom Jones did his own cover two years later; so I guess that’s how Paris is getting away with this song. And yes, the research on that was more entertaining than Paris’s performance.
It’s not to say that Paris is bad. She’s decent, but kind of boring. She also spends half the song with her face turned away from the camera; so all we see is her greasy, curly hair instead. Well, we also see her jigglin’ booty too, but that’s an different issue entirely. Before the song is over, I can tell this is going to be a rough judging. Paula’s hands aren’t even clapping in the air like usual. I’m not totally correct. Randy says he likes the song, but as predicted, Paula only gives passing marks, saying she likes it more when Paris sings from older eras. Uh, Paula, kind of stiff request when the contestants have to sing from their BIRTH YEAR.
Finally, Simon offers his critique which promptly draws boos from the audience. “Screechy and annoying,” he states. Ha. So true. Enjoy the bottom two again!
Next is Chris, who’s singing “Renegade” by Styx from 1979. Off the get-go, the audience is clapping along, which has to be good news. I’m not totally into the song, however, and not just because it’s by Styx. I think it’s just sort of dull. Okay, maybe that does have to do with Styx. Nevertheless, I always feel like Chris is trying to outsmart us by choosing these semi-obscure songs. Just do something we can all embrace. PLEASE.
Well, I guess Chris doesn’t need advice from me because Randy does his whole “AMerica, we got a real hot one tonight!” Paula then chimes in with her incoherent statement of the evening: “Outstanding! You… you set… you already setting it far apart from anyone else.” I think what she means to say is that he’s raised the bar. Don’t worry. I received a 5 on my AP Paulabonics test.
Rounding out the trio is Simon who says, “That was a million times better than the first two performances.” And so Chris coasts through once again.
Next up: Katharine McPhee. Before she can sing, Ryan talks to her about her wardrobe malfunction last week. “A lot of people went back on their systems and watched that moment over and over again,” Ryan says.
“I’m sure they Tivoed. I’m sure they did,” Katharine adds. Yes, that would be us she’s talking about. You know, the guys who took still frames of her hooha and put it on the Internets. Yay blogging!
Well, we learn that Katharine was born in 1984, and as a child, she was very quiet, and according to the photos, Latina too. Looks like she grew out of both.
El Katharine McPheerez?
Eventually, the McPheever takes the stage and attempts some McPhil Collins and “Against All Odds,” but she’s a bit McOff. Okay, she’s totally off. Her key is shaky at best, and her tempo seems a bit rushed and choppy. As the song goes on, she actually sounds flat at parts. She even misses a high note at the end. Ouch. Sounds like the McPheever has cooled off.
Randy’s first comment is “You look amazing.” Oh god, he’s borrowing from the Abdul book of avoiding the issue. Randy then gives a backhanded compliment by saying, “It was okay at the end.” Ouch. Paula is surprisingly more direct by saying, “Not my favorite performance from you.” Simon trashes it too, but oddly enough, he then says, “I agree with Paula and Randy. It was by far one of your best performances.” Huh? A dyslexic says tahw? Minutes later, during Ryan’s interview, Simon then interject to clarify. “It wasn’t one of your best performances,” he says, kick starting thirty seconds of pure awkwardness as Ryan tries to rebound from this impromptu moment. “Is that your final answer?” Seacrest finally asks, causing Randy to randomly say, “That was good, Ryan! Good!” When did Randy Jackson suddenly turn into Ryan’s doting mother? I half expected him to start clapping his and say, “Hercules! Hercules!”
Next, it’s Taylor Time. He was born in 1976, and he’s doing some vintage “Play That Funky Music, White Boy.” This means that before we can even say “Soul Patrol,” he’s already showering us with “AY!” and “C’mon!” noises. Taylor then proceeds to have a mild seizure during his performance, no doubt induced by his paisley shirt that looks like it was found under a box at Ross Dress For Less. After two minutes of twitching, swaying, and rump-shaking, Taylor finally ends the song by intentionally falling over on stage. Sadly, no animal control officers rush onto the scene and shoot him full of tranquilizers.
It’s like someone puked paisley onto Taylor’s body.
Get this man on House M.D.
Anyway, Randy says he felt like he was throwing back some beers in a bar — which is a good thing, I think. Paula says, “You had fun!” Yay! Fun! And Simon keeps it real by first moving his mouth like a goldfish and then saying, “It was like a horrible, horrible wedding performance.” Boo-ya! Undeterred by Mr. Cowell, Taylor keeps his goofy grin on his face, and then he and Ryan do pratfalls on the stage. The two then remain in a supine position as Ryan reads off the phone numbers. Wow, I bet this is farther than he ever got with Teri Hatcher.
Okay, round two! Bring on the Billboard hits!
Before the singers take the stage, Ryan treats us to a little video montage about Billboard magazine. In the middle of this, we learn that the number one song in the country is (sigh) Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day.” And yes, we then have to listen to part of it. Because we don’t EVER get to hear this song on Idol. They just had to squeeze it in one more time. Man, this song is so annoying, but I shouldn’t be so surprised that it’s at the top of the charts. After all, the biggest show on television has been burning it into our heads for the last four months EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Okay, Elliot’s up first for this second round, and we learn that he’ll be singing Michael Bublé. Great. This is predestined to suck. Sure enough, it does. Two seconds in and I’m already asleep. “Let me go home,” Elliot sings, somewhat forebodingly. I prefer the other Michael Bublé song, “Let us not listen to this anymore.” It’s times like these that I truly appreciate the 10 seconds these kids have to sing their songs.
After the performance, Elliot inexplicably runs off the stage to Ryan, but our fleet-footed host guides the confused contestant back to the spotlight. The whole spectacle causes Randy and Paula to cackle like hyenas, and when once they regain their composure, they both say that they like the song. Not love, but like. Simon gives it a resounding “Eh.” I say no one should ever sing Bublé again.
Paris is next, and no surprise here, she sings that new Mary J. Blige song. She’s much better than her first time out, but what she makes up for in vocals, she certainly lacks in moisturizer. You know what I’m talking about: ashy elbows. BUSTED! Y’all can thank J-Unit for spotting that. I personally am more distracted by her tinfoil capri pants, but that’s just me.
Anyway, Randy says that he really liked the performance a lot, despite it encroaching on Mary’s “joint.” Paula also likes it but says it was a dangerous choice. Simon then notes, “Actually, I think you got that wrong, Paula. I think she did rather well with that.” The audience breaks out into huge applause, and over the din, we can just barely hear Paula yapping away with Simon, trying to explain herself. Oh, give it up woman. You won’t remember any of this anyway.
Chris then takes the stage and sings “I Dare You” by Shine Down. I dare Chris to give a good reason why he chose this dreadful song. Nevertheless, Chris still rocks the house (as much as one can do on Idol), and I’m amused by the Rocker touches the producers add to his performance. Exhibit A: flames on the LCD screen behind him (edgy!). Exhibit B: Chris’s leather jacket (super edgy!). Anyway, Chris actually smiles during the song, which is a departure from his usual longing, morose stare, and we know he’s doing well because we see Paula clapping along in her chair.
Unfortunately, towards the end of the song, Chris enters hernia territory as he begins screaming at the top of his lungs. It sounds like somebody’s been singing along with one too many Fuel songs. His voice can barely hit the high notes, causing the judges to temper their enthusiasm. “Just aiiight for me,” Randy says. Ouch. Paula simply says “I love you” (to be fair, she thought she was talking to her new bottle of Vicodin) and Simon registers fear that Chris’s voice is about to go. But overall, passing marks.
Next is Katharine, who opts to do that song that VH1 spent the past month insisting that “you oughta know!” It’s “Black Horse and a Cherry Tree” by KT Tunstall — a.k.a. the “woo-woo” song. Katharine performs from the floor of the stage, and let me tell you this. The McPheever was back! She filled with confidence again and rocks the song. As she writhes and squirms on her knees, we can feel her sending out the waves of McPheever. And I’ll say that I’ve caught it again. This performance is my favorite of the night, and the judges love it too. So much so that Simon even claps his hands like Paula. Strong reviews all around, and with any luck, Katharine will be with us another week.
Mc
Phee
ver!
Last is Taylor, and I gotta say, I was quite disappointed with him. His song is an old Beatles tune. What’s that, you say? Beatles? Yes. Turns out the Beatles are number six on the Billboard Catalogues Chart, and that’s good enough to qualify for the song requirement. And so Taylor avoids having to be contemporary by this most tenuous of loopholes. I think it’s cheap, and I’ve already mentally penalized him for running away from the challenge.
The performance is decent, I suppose, but I find it boring and lame. I guess I’m still mad about the song choice. I also don’t like the way Taylor ends with a hum. Sounds weird. Oh, I guess I’m just hating on everything he does at this point.
CELEBRITUS INTERRUPTUS!
Gary Cole spotted in the audience with a familiar looking but unidentified blonde! Sadly, he receives no title card. Boo!
Back to the show. Taylor manages to pull in nice reviews. Randy likes it, Paula says “You moved it tenderly” (I hope she was not referring to any body part), and Simon notes, “It’s very easy to forget with all your barminess (?) that you’re a very good singer.” What? No one lambasts him for choosing a Beatles song? The best we get is Simon who calls it “clever.” Nevertheless, Taylor’s happy with the judges, and he let’s out a celebratory “Whoo!” in responses.
Whatever. I’m just glad it’s over. So what do you think? Who’s going home?
TV Social
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77 Comments
Love Kat, but her songs were pretty lame. And Yamin, wow, is he actually getting worse each week? Chris, feh. At least Taylor brought some life to the show. Hell, he even did the first Beatles song ever on Idol. But Paris should pack her bags — she’s leaving on that midnight train (back) to Georgia.
My guess is the ashy elbows are going home. All the most popular people are left so we may even be in for a shocker and see Taylor go home. Either way, fans of the Paris “Thank You!” or Taylor “Soul Patrol!” drinking game will be very disappointed.
No caps of Katherine’s McPheet?
The performances tonight were, as Randy would put it, “just aiiiight” for me.
The entire time Paris was singing, I kept thinking about the comment posted last week about the sound she would make if she was being kicked repeatedly. Which in turn made me laugh hysterically and ended with some confused looks by my roommate.
And B-Side, STYX RULES!
Is it odd (or synonym for “odd”
) that I missed Katherine’s wardrobe malfunction last week, but I noticed Taylor’s little one? *sigh* Where are my attentions?
I wasn’t too entertained with any of the song choices either. “On Broadway” doesn’t have much wow potential and Elliott seemed to really fall short and flat on the same note in his other song. Paris did unexceptionally. Chris was usual in his first (except that last note that sounded like he just gave up to me) and his second performance fueled my thoughts that he might not do well in a concert because of how much he exerts on stage. Katharine looked like she wanted to ask for a do over in her first, but she did well on her second (though the wreathing was lost on me and I wasn’t too fond of all the “woo-woos”). Taylor did his usual; it looks like he was trying too hard again on the first and he still needs more work on slow songs (he seems to be the safest though).
Really, when I heard how high Paris’s voice was, I was thinking of that Family Guy clip where Stewie does that helium bit. “El Katharine McPheerez”, “A dyslexic says tahw?”, 5 on AP Paulabonics! LOL (On a silly side note, I feel like I got ripped off because they weren’t giving money for high AP scores when I took them; where’s my reparations?!)
At any rate, it’s “Anthony Fedorov” apparently.
I think Taylor was having an epileptic seizure, must of been the strobe lights.
Katherine looked like she wanted to get boned on stage, with all that wiggling. America loves horny girls, so she’ll continue on.
I don’t see Elliot’s appeal at all. His voice is terrible. I think he’s out.
Paris continues to be the contestant America would love to punch in the face.
Chris did his usual cookie cutter performance. I could not tell the difference between his performances.
KH
I think that all the contestants should be glad that they had two chances to sing b/c each of them had one blah song and one good one. I still like Elliot’s voice a lot better than Paris’s, so I’ll predict that she goes home tonight. I liked Taylor’s second song, and Simon did comment on how it was very clever that he squeezed a Beatles song into a “Top 10″ category. I hate how they chop all the songs up so they can make them shorter to fit into the time constraints though.
Sorry Nate (#4) but I have to agree with B-Side about Styx. I never was a fan of theirs either and I was disappointed when Chris did their song. Although he did it well, I just didn’t like the song. Another thing that didn’t help was that the band’s arrangement was weak. It always is whenever they TRY to play a heavy song. It always sounds watered down and nowhere near as heavy as it’s supposed to. As good as the AI band is that’s something that’s always bugged me about them.
Elliott did way better on his second song than his first. The same can be said for most of them like Kat and even Paris. I guess it’s nice to have a first song to warm up with and then feel more comfortable with the second one.
I found Taylor entertaining too. He’s not necessarily the best singer (although he’s not bad) but he’s entertaining as hell.
I agree with most of you that it’s time for Paris’ midnight train to come to a screeching halt.
Elliott creeps me out. Paris is going home. Like Chris but I wish he would pick songs that I know. (I never even heard of Shine Down…)
The only way I can not hate Paris is because she’s practically a child. After Simon said “screechy and annoying” she peeps to Ryan “I love all their comments.” Serious dumbassitude. When will she start using her real speaking voice?
Kraparine McSuck. Her Phil Collings was abyssmal. Her voice was weak. And that’s being generous. I missed her second one, but it looks obnoxious and stank so I’m not sad.
Did Chris not rock Renegade? I believe he did. THere was one sour note there at the end that was pretty bad. He will develop a nice case of polyps or some other throat ailment with all that screaming. He couldn’t last on the road. Drink a glass of honey, Honey.
Out of the 5 remaining, I’d only buy cds by elliot or chris.
I missed the first four performances, but from what I could tell from the recap, it did look like Chris rocked Renegade. I’m disappointed I missed it. I decided to vote for Chris because of Simon’s comment that he was going to be safe, and I got through every time. That does not bode well for Chris, I’m afraid! But, surely Paris will leave tonight, right? Right?
Also, I had to laugh when the camera showed Simon doing Paula’s patented seal-clap. Too funny.
Chris would’ve earned extra points with me, had he sung “MR. ROBOTO”
I wasnt particularly impressed with anyone last night. In fact, I was so underwhelmed that I flipped back and forth between Idol and Scrubs during the last half of the show.
Where were all the celebs last night ??
I used to be a big Chris fan, but it seems like every song of his is starting t sound alike. I find myself fast forwarding through him now. Except Renegade – what’s up with him carrying the mike stand around when he goes out with the crowd. Be careful – you’re going to poke someone’s eye out with that thing.
Bottom 3 tonight – Princess Pee, Elliot and Chris = with Paris hopefully making her way overdue exit!
I got a lot of “the number you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service messages” last night when I was voting. I was dialing the same number each time; sometimes I got through, and sometimes I got the message. Did anyone else have that happen?
B-Side, you must be under 30, because if you were over 30 you would know that Styx song very well. It was a staple of rock radio through the mid-80′s at least. Props to Chris for doing a Styx song, not because their music has really held up over time but at least he did something no one on Idol has done before. He even sounded pretty good on that totally generic angst rock song he did second, considering his voice trouble.
Kat – I’m a big fan, but her version of “Against All Odds” actually made me miss the vocal stylings of Scott Savol. She was just bad on this one, and this is a song about pain and desperation – can’t sing it w/ a smile on your face! At least Savol got that part right, singing it all pissed off and with that patented throwing off of the eyeglasses. When all Paula can do is tell you that you looked nice you know you sucked. However STRONG comeback on song #2. Very fun and mcsexy performance. I still have the McPheever.
I think Taylor has sucked for the past month, but he was good last night. He showed some life and emotion. Someone must’ve taken away the Valium he’s been on for the last few weeks.
Elliot was weak in song one. Again I think even Scott Savol did a better job w/ this song last year, but his second song was really strong.
Elliot and Paris bottom two, but it’s Paris going home.
I agree that there was a better of the two song performance for each contestant last night. I think Elliott did okay but it’s hard to hear him sometimes. I liked his first song much better. Even though I like him and like his voice, he is just no AI. I thought Paris’ version of the Mary J song was her better one although I didn’t mind her version of Kiss. And, I thought her hair actually looked cute last night. Mc-I-think-I’m-so-great did a good job with her second song choice as well but performing on the floor made her seem like a whore. Her arrogance bugs me. I loved both of Taylor’s performances. He IS a funky white boy and his crazay shirt fit with the song. I liked his Beatles cover and if the song made it through, who cares? And, then there was Chris…….could he be any hotter? I loved Renegrade, which is certainly not an obscure song if you were alive during that time. And for those who haven’t heard of Shine Down, listen to the radio! Fabulous song although I will admit Chris sounded strained and should take the honey advice. I would love a cookie cutter of Chris–then I could make cookies shaped like him and eat them up!
oh, and it’s Paris going home tonight hopefully followed by blechy Kat next week to leave it to the three guys as the top three. Elliott will then return home with his momma and it’ll be between Taylor and Chris with Chris winning and, God help me, not having to sing some silly dream/wish song like all of the winners do.
I think it was totally unfair for Simon to say that it was “clever” of Taylor to sneak in a Beatles tune. Well what do you call Chris singing Walk the Line (by the band Live) and that other Stevie Wonder song (by the Red Hot Chili Peppers)? How is that different?
I missed the ubiquitous shot of McDad crying while McDaughter sings.
Please go home Paris – I am so done with you!
hb
Katherine McRidiculous is more like it. Since when is walking around stage on your knees a cool thing to do? It looked to me like she wanted to get up and walk, but she could not get up the momentum to rise. She grates on me like nails on a chalkboard. If she wins this thing I will be seriously annoyed.
I too wish Chris would sing more familiar songs. I hate “Renegade,” but I loved his version of it. I would have liked to see him sing “The Best of Times” or “Babe” if he had to choose Styx. Oh my god, just the thought of him crooning “Babe” makes me giddy.
In my humble opinion, I actually think Taylor and Elliott did the best. Katharines version of Against all Odds was awful. Its bad enough we had to listen to Phil Collins do it (not to mention the movie blew)…I think Paris is totally annoying, but the song Kiss wasnt too bad..I kept thinking back to a week ago when she said she hadnt experienced love feelings yet…i get it..you’ve experienced sex feelings but not love..hmmm…GO ELLIOT..I agree On Broadway is totally overplayed, and although Scott “i have more chins than a chinese phonebook” Savol considered this is signature song last year, Elliot blows his doors off in the talent department. Taylor was adorable as always. He has such a great personality, hard to not like this kid. Finally..Chris…..Nobody has performed more Styx karaoke than moi,so it wasnt that obsure of a choice… however, your screeching is annoying. Even more annoying is your taking yourself so damn seriously. You act like youre the best one out there..Would it hurt to crack a friggin smile? Maybe he realizes that after this show is over, he still has that wife and her two kids to support….
Dixiequeen (#19) of course the winner is going to have to sing some sappy feel good song. That’s why Chris can’t win this thing but it would be nice to see him come in second and get as much exposure as possible. Even Bo last year said to himself “please don’t let me win this thing” when they were announcing the winner. If you saw his reaction, not only was he genuinely glad for Carrie that she won but he was equally glad that he didn’t win. It would be career suicide for Chris if he wins this thing.
If you hate Kat, then just admit you won’t like her no matter what she does. I’m sick of hearing criticism that she sings without emotion/has wooden stage presence, but then she gets knocked for doing the exact opposite the last two weeks, when she was energetic and dynamic in her performance and stage presence. I like Chris a lot but I agree he is better off coming in second and not having the burden of carrying the American Idol winner title. He’s better off not winning and making the record he wants to make, or fronting a band. Sorry McHaters, the lovely McPhee is your next Idol.
P.S. someone once posted that Elliot reminded them of “Goat Boy” from SNL. However, I think that title could go to Taylor. When he starts spasming and doing his “woo!” and “soul patrol!” shouts, I could totally see Ryan coming out from the wings with a cattle prod to settle him down.
I don’t care what anyone else says, I Love Elliot! Yes, he’s got crazy teeth, but he also has a great voice.
Katherine… UGH!
I think Taylor is very entertaining. Randy was right when he said he felt like he was throwing back a few beers in a bar.
Chris is getting kind of boring.
Paris… SHE GONE!
JasonR, you are right–I would not like McBeave no matter what she did. Even you must admit that her rendition of “Against All Odds” was rotten. That not an opinion, just a fact.
I have to think that clearer heads will prevail and either Chris or Taylor will be the next Idol. Perhaps that will knock Kat’s smugness down a peg or two.
what was Taylor doing last night? his dancing was totally nuts and also, he clearly said FUCK on air … if you don’t believe me go back on your tivo or look at my transciption …
http://flipkicksandnightbellows.blogspot.com
yeah, mcphee was kinda lousy, but if there’s a chance – however remote – that she could get down on her knees and eye-(ahem) the camera like that again, i don’t want her going anywhere. man, i need to get mclaid. . .
I would love to see Taylor win this thing. He’s the most entertaining of the lot. He may not have the best voice but he chooses songs well and I always end up being entertained.
Ditto to everyone that said Chris shouldn’t win and he can go anytime now and have a good rock career.
Katherine has a very well trained voice but she seems so out of her element up there. Maybe it’s nerves, but her smile just seems fake during her performances. She looked really uncomfortable writhing on the stage during the 2nd song and it really took away from the performance for me. She’ll have a career and will probably do better once she doesn’t have to perform outside the studio.
Elliot, too, will have a good studio career – please don’t make me watch him sing anymore! Good voice – no charisma and not cute!
Paris’s talking voice turns me off so much that I just don’t enjoy her performances at all. She needs to go home
Since they didn’t have a Guest Singer giving advice this week (Thank God) – how is the Ryan going to torture the Final 5?
hb
Ok, how gross was it to have Ryan talk to McPhee about the wardrobe malfunction & saying how he’s sure a lot of people recorded it & watched it again? If I were McDad I’d McPunch McRyan in the McMouth.
I actually respected McPhee for knowing she did a horrible job on that song that I loved when I was 13 but realize as an adult how overblown & sappy it is. She did a great job on the second song even though it was freakin’ annoying. Again, I was uncomforatable knowing she was writhing around on stage like a cat in heat in front of McDad.
Speaking of song selection-Taylor,WTF?? He’s the only one who’s steadily declined as the show’s gone on-he needs some help in choosing songs.
I liked Eliot but he does try to Aguilera the notes too much. If he keeps it smooth, much better.
Chris is still my man-I don’t care, STYX is a guilty pleasure for me, much like Chris.
Paris really does have a lot of talent, but I think if she settles down & stops running around the stage doing silly things like holding the fake phone to her ear while singing “call the radio station,” she’d be much less annoying & her singing would shine through. Remember the standards night, just standing in front of the microphone? (I think it was that night)
Did anyone else think the performances from the dress rehearsal used in the recaps were much better?
happy gal, see my post at #17. I love McPhee but her first performance was objectively awful. Even she pretty much admitted it during the judges’ critique.
hb (#32), I was thinking the same thing. Even if they do a group performance tonight, how the hell are they going to fill 30 min. w/ no guest performer? Tonight should give new definition to the word “filler.”
I love the group performances for all their cheesiness. They are even better than the Ford commercials. They harken me back to “The Silver Platters” on the Brady Bunch.
I liked Chris’ version of Renegade. Hadn’t heard that song in a looong time.
Second song was blech..and he had no voice left..didn’t he learn from Andrea Boccelli? sing your song lying on the floor!!!
McPhreez just doesn’t understand what she is singing cause she’s got that gaseous smile on her face and doesn’t know where to go with that Phil Collins song. So..resort to Aguilera and Britney Yelps.
happy_gal..hilarious..she DID look like she could get up during that second song. Also..I kept wondering what dear old McDad was thinking. Fun in a very very bland take on World Music kind of way..
I worry for Elliot..Loved the second song..heart felt..but the first one was just….I agree he’s not AI..but at this point everyone on the stage has a career in music.
HB, I don’t know how Ryan will torture the kids this week, but he better tell us who’s in the Bottom THREE, not just the bottom two…
I tend to agree with the general majority (I think) that McPhee is a bit dull, and just a bit conceited. And I CANNOT for the life of me understand the appeal of Taylor, besides being William Hung with a slightly better voice. Seriously, if he becomes the Idol, I think he’ll flop faster than Reuben. Could you imagine how lame his music videos would be?
I was a Chris fan all season, but his act is getting a little tired. He does need to mix it up a bit, and stop popping his veins and vocal chords when he’s singing. I like Eliot as well, and wouldn’t be overly upset if he beat Chris in the end.
I unfortunately think Taylor will win, though.
Paris is probably going tonight, but I think there’s an outside shot that Katherine could be going…
i thought Paula look beautiful and sober..and it was Simon who raided her medicine cabinet this time around. “I thought it was one of your best performance..”….”I just wanted to say..I meant it was NOT one of your best performances..” Katherine: “Hm? I got that..”..
dwightshrute: “mclaid”. Nice.
Ya gotta admit, although Katharine’s not the most eloquent contestant left, she’s got showbiz smarts. Even she smelled the rotting garbage that was her first song and decided to pull out the sex kitten card for her next number. Good choice. She didn’t need to, tho’, she actually did quite well on that second song. I’m not a big McPhee fan but darn it if I can’t take my eyes away from the screen when she’s on. And isn’t that what it’s all about? McPheever’s SAFE at home!
Taylor: Indeed he did seem to regain a little bit of his spasmodic expressiveness. He just wasn’t the same these past two weeks. I guess the grand jury decided not to indict? Anybody else notice that his was the only bio that did NOT give a Birth Year? And then he chooses the Beatles?? The Fab Four?? THIS MAN IS NOT 29 YEARS OLD!!!! HE’S NOT!!! But, we luv him anyway. Seeya next week, Taylor.
Elliot: It’s a shame that talent has to be mitigated by looks, but that is the seamy underbelly of show business. This man will still sell records when the show is over, even if it’s out of the trunk of his Neon. Lock.
Paris: I like the girl. She can sing and she can’t help it if she talks like Tweety-Bird. I hope she’s signed and goes BillBoard Top Ten, then all of her haters will have to hear that voice over and over and over and over….Go home with your head up, Paris, enjoy being a teenager so that you don’t grow up jaded and bitter like the rest of us in here!!! (joking, just joking, ya’ll!!!)
Chris: Chris mails it in again. I don’t think this guy is as safe as he thinks he is. His second number had a little movement to it, he managed the stage fairly well. I agree with someone up above regarding the mike stand. They need to watch it with that thing. They’re not pros yet, you know…
Tonight? I smell a surprise cookin’…I don’t think that Paris is a sure thing to leave just yet. I think AI is going to use this as another opportunity to *ahem* “teach America a lesson!!!!”.
I prefer Julia Roberts rendition of Prince’s Kiss in ‘Pretty Woman’.
Morning Dredge ~
hb
mornin’ hb
Sorry Wade (#1), but The Beatles have been heard on the Idol stage before. During the finals in Season 2 both finalists sang a Beatles tune. Can’t remember what Reuben did, but I believe that Clay sang “Here, There, and Everywhere”.
I was hoping that the Geek squad from “Freaks and Geeks” would come through the screen to have a wussy fight with Seacrest when Daughtry began “Renegade”. I can’t hear Styx now and not think of “Freaks and Geeks” – aka the greatest television show ever.
G-Money..They DID give Taylor’s birthyear as 1976.
Taylor’s voice is equally okay in comparison against everyone else’s in this group. These 5 people are all about as equal as you get talent-wise and the only distinctions are their diverse (somewhat weird) personalities. They’re really a motley crue.
“El Katharine McPheerez”
Not to get all language nazi on you, but I believe it should be “La Katharine McPheerez,” as “El” is the article for masuline, and “la” for feminine.
/gives self high-five for remembering at least one thing from high-school Spanish.
//Gracias, Sr. Valencia.
Thanks, Trixie. Now, if I could just get a birth certificate to go with that…
)
I’m pretty sure Taylor borrowed that first shirt out of Gob Bluth’s closet.
Oh, what, no one ever watched Arrested Development? All right.
lol G-Money!
I think the performances were off this week because they had to switch gears, prepare two songs and also sing shorter lengths and different arrangements than they had been used to. Hopefully things will be a little less frantic next week with just four.
Elliot was a little weak last night. His performances were both average, as opposed to having one relatively good song and one relatively bad song like the others. I’m a little nervous for him, but hopefully his likeability factor will conquer Paris’s nonlikeability factor.
Paris annoys me, and I’m not quite sure why. I think it’s because she has this big voice but she doesn’t have the personality to match it. Personality-wise, she should be singing early Mandy Moore (Is it sad that I classified “early” as though she has an extensive musical catalogue?), but she can pull off the Mary J. Blige vocally. She is a conundrum to me, and she’ll probably go home.
Chris is starting to bore me a little, although I loved that he did “Renegade” (Semi-obscure?! Ever seen Billy Madison??). He totally lost control of his second song, and the flames behind him were a little too much. Like a few people have said already, he’d be better off not winning. He should hope to make bottom three and then go home — then he can avoid even learning the “Inside Your Heaven for This Moment with the Angels” song or participating in the extravaganza that is the Idol finale.
Katharine’s “Against All Odds” was all over the place, but I loved the second song. She looked like she was enjoying herself, although I wish she would have stood up after a while. The crawling got a little tiresome; she should have gotten up towards the end.
I don’t know what to say about Taylor. I think he’s having fun, so good for him.
I’m starting to think that all the Katharine fans out there watch a different version of Idol than I do. She sucked ASS last night. Both songs were a complete mess.
B-Side,
I hope I am not repeating anyone else, but when Simon referred to Taylor’s ‘barminess’, he means that he’s nuts.
Barmy is a British term for crazy.
Too bad he didn’t say Taylor flat-out sucks ass since that expression’s pretty universal.
G-Money, I am totally with you. I absolutely refuse to believe that man was born after 1956, and that’s a stretch.
Oh, and B-Side – “Oh, give it up woman. You won’t remember any of this anyway.” So, so true.
Megan.Gob Bluth rules!!!
I was SO upset they cancelled the damn show…
At the risk of getting a giant “Ewwwwwwww!,” I’m gonna say I think Elliot is cute. And, of course, talented.
hb – I thought the exact same thing about Julia Robert’s version of Kiss. Much more entertaining!!
Why would it be so bad for Chris’ career? It seems like it worked out fine for Kelly and Carrie. Oh yeah, Bo Bice’s album is really taking off. Please. I think that the AI Machine does market their winners pretty well, ie. Kelly to pop, and Carrie to Country, Fantasia to R&B. I think they’re learning lessons, and we won’t be seeing any more crap musicals.
I think Chris has an awesome voice, its unique.
Katherine has a great voice but her personality is a big fat goose egg. She’s boooring. She is hot though, I’l give her that.
dojean (#53)-no “ew” at all, he’s been growing on me too. I want to put him in my pocket & take him home with me! I bet he’s one of those nice guys who all the girls back home only saw as a friend-until now, being on tv & all. I’d take him over Ace any day!
noodle (#55)-if I remember correctly Kellie’s career didn’t really take off until she got away from Simon Fuller.
*sigh*
Why must pewople always pick on Elliott b/c of his teeth. Freakin assholes…. let me pick on you for shit you can’t control! Yeah! That sounds like HUGE FUN! :\
Seriously though… Even though I obviously love Elliott… I didn’t like his first song. He did ok with it, but I just hated the song. Now he did do well with the 2nd one though.
Very soothing and just made ya want to melt.
I suggest anyone who doesn’t think so to go and listen to an mp3 of it.
” Don’t worry. I received a 5 on my AP Paulabonics test”.
b-side: did you inadvertantly put this phrase in or were you aware that this week is actually AP week? either way, it was absolutely hilarious
Exactly what I was gonna say #59 – my son just took this test on Monday!!
I dialed for about an hour last night and I hate to say but I got through to McPheevers more times than not between Elliott, Taylor and Kat. Only got through a couple times for Elliott and not once for Taylor…That soul patrol must really know how to text a vote!!
Paula wasnt as entertaining this week – I kept waiting for her to tear up – even a little because I knew how much fun B-side would have with her.
I hope Paris goes home this week because if I have to listen to her speaking voice ONE more time, I may stop watching. Its like fingernails on a blackboard. The girl can sing pretty good but she needs to learn to nod.
I dont think one performance last night was great although I really enjoyed Chris’s and Elliott’s first performances (love my styx and george benson – yes I am that old) and Kat and Taylors second ones. Good but not great (dawg).
I wish I could predict who will win this thing but there are too many variables. I thought it would be Kat for a long time but now…not so much. To much McHate….
I agree with the above poster that the AP test reference was HILARIOUS! Actually the whole re-cap was hilarious (as well as informative for those of us who missed the show last night). I also laughed out loud at the Vicodin comment. heehee
This is the wierdest season yet by far. The fact that they feel the need to address every internet controversy. I can’t imagine how McDad was squirming listening to Ryan talk about his daughters goodies being shown to the world in front of him. But i digress..
speaking of Ryan..he had a good night..he got to lay with Taylor and hold Elliot. All the while Teri Hatcher is dropping his name via Oprah to continue the coverup. But again i digress…
Damn you Pickler! Now that she got bounced VotefortheWorst has turned its attention to Taylor. I really thought when he fell to the ground that his Tourettes had finally taken over and we were gonna see medical personnel hit the stage. I cant watch him..its more hideous to me than Clay Aiken and thats saying alot.
Sometimes i think Paula is thinking she is on Americas Next Top Model (and knowing her she probably does) as she continues to critique their fashions rather than be blunt. Speaking of drunkenness..i like that they actually had the contestants voice say who you were voting for when u voted..helps those who can’t keep their numbers straight.
I’m with B-Side..i couldnt get past Paris’s shiny aluminum foil pants to even hear her singing. Did anyone notice they bleeped out her swear??
Kat,self-admittedly, stank up the first song, and again Seacrest had to take an already uncomfortable moment and make it worse by goading Simon’s correction of himself. She got it..shut up! I loved the second song but wish she woulda got up at some point. Perhaps she was trying to pull off the Fantasia “Summertime” vibe. I still got the McPheever.
Paris and Kat i think in the Bottom 2 tonite and it could go either way unfortunately. If Kat goes..she is taking this member of her litter with her.
If Chris does get into the top 2, I’m pretty sure they’ll have songs made that are his type. Of course, it would make it look either like their foresight or like it was rigged. It’s a bit hard to imagine AI making songs that Chris can sing, but it would just be unwise to not be prepared for Chris being in the top 2.
Wishing Elliott would have done a little bit better (I really don’t think he was that bad – just lacking pizzaz) and HOPING that Paree is out of there….
AND I got 4 calls in for Elliott THIS week! Wow!
kepster, I get that everytime. It seems if I take a breath inbetween redials it gets through better. I’m actually suspicious though, as those not go throughs could be potential votes. I was supporting Elliott, but checking Taylor and Paris line everytime I got a busy, it seemed Elliots line was busier, and Paris’ the least busy. Got to get the facts to vote in the pool.
I think it should be Mcfeever going, though at least she picked an actual current song (guess that’s why they said top 10–hint-hint Chris and Taylor)
I swear I want to shake those kids for just refusing to pick good songs. Paris did the best in choices, I thought, though I liked Renegade ( and harkend back to Queen week when it could have been likewise with a great old classic.) Yes, I didn’t mind Styx, and in fact, I really liked the one’s sung by (is it) tommy, the blonde. “Blue collar man, and perhaps “Too much time”
Loved the re-capp, so many good ones I can’t quote, but loved the “Furthur than Terry”!!!
uGOgurl: Yeah! I noticed that they censored Paris! I believe the lyric fragment is “we’ve got bullshit”. I was like wait a minute! Why are they muting that out? Sixteen year old Paris wouldn’t sing that lyric would she? Would she? In front of her momz and gramma? My thought was that AI had instructed the sound tech to kill that section just in case Paris decided to “keep it real” and get raw with it! Hahaha (fat chance o’ that happening). Just FOX taking precautions for live TV (thankyew, Janet & Justin).
Are there any lip readers among us? Can anyone tell me if Paris decided last night to take it there or not? Not Paris Bennett! Not sweet, adorable, fashion-challenged, universally-loathed-and-despised Paris Bennett? Noooooooooooo….!!!
I’m going to untuck my tongue from my cheek now…
Great recap…do you have a better screen cap of Ryan and Taylor on the floor together? Where you can see both their faces??? Thanks!
raggedy_andy
Did I miss something in regard to Taylor’s “malfunction”? Wardrobe or otherwise? All I can think about is taking off work early, going home and re-watching last nights performances….your eagle eyed help would be appreciated.
Thanks juddfan, it’s nice to know that it’s not just me getting those “disconnected” messages. I agree that Paris’ line was the least busy (my friend in Hong Kong asked me to vote Paris for him; they get to see both shows about 12 hours after it’s on here!). I had to break it to him that she might be going.
OMG, Redhead (#41), I knew from the “Freaks and Geeks” pilot that I would be in love with the show cuz it featured not one, but TWO songs from STYX. And then there was the episode later where the very stoned Nick Andopolis recited the lyrics to “Lady” while it was playing in the background. Honestly one of the best and funniest moments of television ever.
I’m not sure what next weeks theme is gonna be, but someone needs to sneak in a rendition of “Come Sail Away”. Now THAT would be awesome.
Belinda: When Taylor spazzed out, the camera caught a shot of his, um, beer muscle. Didn’t need to know that he’s gray all over his belly.
B-side: Best comment in the recap…Randy bouncing up and down clapping. “Hercules! Hercules!” Now I’m gonna picture Eddie Murphy in drag every time I see The Dawg. Thanks. I think.
People should check out the American Idol Extra on Fox Reality. You catch some pretty unguarded moments among the contestants. Like Bucky forming a sentence. One thing you’ll notice right away… Paris doesn’t have the helium voice working 24-7. She sounds normal all the time, so I’m guessing that the baby voice is put on to remind viewers that’s she’s young. Hence, she’ll get more votes.
whawha –
EWWWWWW – thanks, I think…..I’ll have to get a little liquored up to watch the repeat – ok, twist my arm – but it just might make the weekly Idol commercial viewable. Oh, who am I kidding?
“Sorry Wade (#1), but The Beatles have been heard on the Idol stage before. During the finals in Season 2 both finalists sang a Beatles tune. Can’t remember what Reuben did, but I believe that Clay sang “Here, There, and Everywhere”.
Good catch, Redhead (#41). Fox still has the full song lists for Ruben and Clay.
Belinda: pass the hootch! Between Taylor’s shirt, his ab carpet and Paris’ tinfoil Capri’s, I’m gonna need a stiff drink to forget.
Congrats on getting throuht his week Belinda! I still got in about 20 calls each for my top 3 (Elliot/Chris/Kat) and voted a few times for Taylor too b/c I liked his Beatles song and wanted Paris to go. I did love the Styx song too. I’m also old enough to remember their hits, and I sing along with the radio every time they play one. “The Best Of Times” is my fave song. They played live here last month and were still charging almost $30 a ticket!
LOL whawha, “beer muscle.” I didn’t record it or anything, so I wasn’t be sure if he was wearing an undershirt or not.
JasonR (#26) “I could totally see Ryan coming out from the wings with a cattle prod to settle him down.”
Hmmm, I’m not sure that was a cattle prod…