The World Finally Makes Sense Again

American Idol

By youcantmakeitup | Monday, August 22, 2005 | 4:59 pm | 4 Comments


artsy_bo hairball


Remember this past season on AI, the runner-up Bo Bice? His painful grunting and strained voice seemed abnormal, and definitely not healthy. I didn’t dub him “Penis Neck” for nothing — the guy sounded like he needed a Correctol (the only gentle woman’s laxative on the market) stat.

Well, the clouds have cleared, and beyond it, a light and clarity so blinding it runs through me like my morning coffee.

It’s official, straight from MSNBC’s mouf: “American Idol” runner-up Bo Bice had emergency surgery for a blockage in his intestines, and won’t be returning to the “Idol” tour.

I kneeeeew he had to take a shit and couldn’t while on stage, I just KNEW it. You guys should hear me sing during Passover! Not unlike Bo Bice folks.

You know those doctor’s removed a Drano-commercial-worthy doody-sized hairball from inside him, ya just know it.

4 Comments

  1. 1
    BigMax
    Posted August 23, 2005 at 5:23 am

    The only true cure for the Passover blues — fresh fruit and then a trip to the bookstore. It works every time!

  2. 2
    copygodd
    Posted August 23, 2005 at 8:49 am

    is that justin guarini on the swing? it’s good to see he’s finally found some work.

  3. 3
    Bo's Toe
    Posted August 23, 2005 at 10:38 am

    oh no! my poor Bo!

  4. 4
    Melvin
    Posted August 23, 2005 at 12:17 pm

    Bo had and still has the most potential out of the Idol class of ’05 to make a bunch of money — cant you hear him fronting the Allmans?

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