Recap: American Idol: Top 10 Most Annoying Idol Finalists

American Idol

By B-Side | Monday, January 15, 2007 | 3:17 pm | 18 Comments

In anticipation of tomorrow night’s sixth season premiere of American Idol, we’ve decided to recap the ten most annoying Idol finalists of all time. Easier said than done. Turns out there have been very many annoying, awful, and intolerable finalists; so ranking them is no easy task. I’ll throw up the usual disclaimer: I’m sure most of these kids are friendly and lovable and wonderful people. But dammit if they didn’t make me want to throw a shoe at the TV.

To the countdown!

10 Paris Bennett (Season 5)
Paris had an amazing set of pipes on her. She also was cute as a button. And she also was crazy annoying. Whether it was her quiet air of entitlement or her so-precious-it-hurts princess voice, Paris became surprisingly grating as the season went on. She was an early favorite to go far, and she did, but her yo-yoing between cutie Princess Pea and wannabe Beyoncé drove everyone mad. Yech.

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9. Diana DeGarmo (Season 3)
Just barely beating out Jasmine Trias and her dumb flower is Diana DeGarmo. My lasting memory of this girl comes from the season three finale when she bounded down the aisles of the Kodak Theatre, imploring everyone to get their hands up, y’all, and clap to the beats of “I Knew You Were Waiting.” SHUT UP.

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8. Nikki McKibbin (Season 1)
Remember this girl? She was the dyed-hair single-mom who somehow failed upwards into the top three. If I recollect accurately, I’m pretty sure she didn’t a single note the entire season. By the time she reached the upper echelons of the show, there was genuine concern that she might somehow sneak into the top two, what with Justin and Kelly canceling out each other’s votes, or something like that. Luckily, she was soon expunged from the Idol world, and the last I saw of her was, well, up close when she drunkenly showed J-Unit and I bruises on her inner thigh at a bar. If that’s not annoying, I don’t know what is.

7. Taylor Hicks (Season 5)
SOUL PATROL! If you’re like me, those two words are enough to make you want to jump off a bridge. Sure, Taylor had heart, and sure, he had soul, but he also had disturbing body ticks up the wazoo. His schtick was perfect for all the 48 year old men at home who rush out to buy the latest Michael McDonald CD, but for the rest of us, it was frustrating, especially in a season where more talented folk like Chris Daughtry, Elliot Yamin, and Mandisa were unceremoniously cut early.

6. Corey Clark (Season 2)
This guy has the added bonus of not just being annoying, but sucking too. His voice was beyond awful, and yet he somehow made it into the finals (thanks Paula!). Luckily, he was soon axed for his off-camera antics, but like a stubborn roach, he simply would not go away. Two years later, he tried to drag the Paulster into the mud by flinging accusations of a romantic tryst. It may have been true, but no one cared. Paula may be loopy and crazy and inarticulate, but she’s ours and damn you for trying to take her away!

5. Ace Young (Season 5)
Ace, Ace, Ace. The falsetto. The nails-on-chalkboard version of “Butterflies.” The Queen cover. The scar. Everything about Ace Young was horrendous. He seemed like a nice guy with an even nicer family, but man did he try our patience. Luckily, Ace was dropped before he could reach that special upper-echelon of awfulness — reserved for the likes of, well, the next four people.

4. Clay Aiken (Season 2)
Like most of the annoying finalists on Idol, people either loved Clay or hated him. I hated him. No doubt, the kid could sing. And no doubt, he’s done terrifically in his post-Idol career. But at the same time, his sappy, histrionic, Broadway voice mixed with his ardent, ravenous fans just made him intolerable. Week after week he persevered, and for those of us in the “Hate” camp, it was nothing but pure torture.

3. Mikalah Gordon (Season 4)
Mikalah didn’t last long, but she sure made her mark. Somewhere along the way, poor Mikalah thought it would be hilarious to revive Fran Drescher’s schtick for a new generation. For reasons I can’t quite figure out, the judges seemed to absolutely love her, which leads me to believe that she must be an awesome person because for anyone to look beyond the low-rent Drescher act means there must be something more there. After she was eliminated, she later returned for cameo appearances, this time sporting the full Lawng Island makeover: crazy highlights, a fake tan, and loads of makeup. Awful.

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2. Justin Guarini (Season 1)
The original sucker. Justin Guarini started off season one as the guy to beat. The judges loved him. The girls loved him. And the guys, well, they hated him (but guys didn’t count for much that first season). Somewhere along the way, however, the anti-Justin movement grew stronger and stronger, and by the time it was down to Justin and Kelly, it seemed like it might be the largest crime against humanity if he had won, what with his silly hair and strange dancing/bopping. In the wake of his Idol success, Justin hasn’t been able to get past his “HE’S SO GODDAMN ANNOYING” reputation, which is too bad because I met him once, and he was really, really nice. But annoying is annoying. Sorry, Justin.

1. Constantine Maroulis (Season 4)
Was there really any question about this? Constantine was cocky, ugly, and not fit for popstardom. Plus, he fancied himself a rocker, which kind of ran contradictory to his Broadway training in Rent. Everything about him screamed poseur, and to this day, we still don’t know why there are Connie fans absolutely devoted to him. He’s awful. Truly, truly awful.

About

18 Comments

  1. 1
    lauren
    Posted January 15, 2007 at 7:36 pm

    Most of this is very accurate and hilarious but how…how i ask…can you not include Kellie Pickler on this list?! She was definitly in the top 10 of annoying in American Idol history.

  2. 2
    surfer girl
    Posted January 15, 2007 at 7:50 pm

    OMG I forgot how hot Constantine Maroulis is. YUM

  3. 3
    cajah
    Posted January 15, 2007 at 8:07 pm

    This was pretty dead on. I would nominate as honorable mention how Fantasia (sp?) would always crouch while singing like she was taking a dump. And don’t the judges (and “Seacrest Out” by default) count as truly most annoying, DAWG?!?

  4. 4
    poptartz
    Posted January 15, 2007 at 8:17 pm

    Saying Ace Young is annoying is like kicking a puppy dog. He’s completely harmless. I’d take him out and put Kellie Pickler in his place.

    Your #1 is right on though.

  5. 5
    Rori
    Posted January 15, 2007 at 9:43 pm

    Your number 1 is RIGHT ON. I think I would replace Taylor with Fantasia and Justin with Kevin Corvais. But that’s just me.

    And definitely make Ace go away. Maybe replace him with Constantine? He could be in there twice.

  6. 6
    keenai
    Posted January 16, 2007 at 9:06 am

    See, I hated Justin from the beginning. And everything he said and did just made me hate him more. Shut up and go away, Justin. He should’ve been #1, I think.

  7. 7
    tvaholic
    Posted January 16, 2007 at 9:50 am

    Any man that wears more make up than me definitely deserves a spot on this list, Justin. I have to say I was a Paris lover at the beginning & became annoyed as the weeks went on as well. And B-Side, please tell me Nikki didn’t explain how she got those bruises!

  8. 8
    HoneyBunny
    Posted January 16, 2007 at 11:06 am

    Please let that be the last picture of the bile-producing douchenozzle that is Maroulis to ever appear on this site again. Unless, of course, it has been photoshopped into something human looking.

    I love it when Ryan grabs his own manboobs.

    hb

  9. 9
    JasonR
    Posted January 16, 2007 at 12:20 pm

    My votes:

    From season 1: RJ, EJ and AJ (3-way tie)

    Season 3: George Huff a/k/a “Hercules”

    Season 4: Scott Savol

    Season 5: Kevin Covais a/k/a “Chicken Little” and Brenna Gethers (all the attitude of a diva, half the talent)

    Can’t wait for tonight!

    -JR

  10. 10
    DenD
    Posted January 16, 2007 at 12:26 pm

    OMG! Not Ace!! He was the whole show for me, including AI 1-4.
    “Butterflies” was 1000x better than Michael’s version.
    How in the world did you not include Miss Pickler…now there’s some nails down a blackboard.
    #1 spot- remove Con and add McPhoney-snotty and unoriginal.

  11. 11
    Donna Martin Graduates!
    Posted January 16, 2007 at 1:28 pm

    Great list — perfect!

    Of course, it’s completely understood that Seacrest is the Grand Poo-Bah of this list of god-awfulness.

    I agree with cajah (#3) that Fantasia looked like she was doing number 2s onstage, but she was HANDS DOWN the best voice, not to forget the most versatile performer that series has seen.

    Who else could go from a rousing rendition of “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” to the *most* heartbreaking and tender rendition of “What are you doing the rest of your life?” Heaps better than Streisand’s version, and that’s really saying something.

    Admittedly, Fantasia was sitting down for that performance…

    It occurred to me that Fantasia might have been considered — maybe for a nanosecond — for Jennifer’s role in Dreamgirls.

    But the truth is, Fantasia could be Scrooge McDuck’s illegitimate daughter and is unlikely to “look” right for any big screen roles.

  12. 12
    angieb
    Posted January 16, 2007 at 2:28 pm

    OH MY GOD, YES! Constantine!! I HATED him! Great list, but I do love Taylor.

  13. 13
    roleepolee
    Posted January 16, 2007 at 4:57 pm

    I think Constantine shouldve been 2nd most annoying next to Taylor. The fact that the no talent, twichy, gray haired moron won, puts him in the 1rst place on this list in my opinion. I’m sure all his soul patrolmen will disagree with me and scream to there lungs that “taylor has soul!”, but he is just the worst singer to win AI. I can think of so many others who should’ve won for their incredible vocal talents, like B-side mentioned, Mandissa and Elliot Yamin (also Latoya London, Anthony Fedorov, Sway (remember him?), just to name a few.) If anyone says Taylor Hicks is better than the above singers I just mentioned, there is something seriously wrong with you.

    B-Side, can you make post more lists like this? maybe a “10 most underrated contestants” list? Thanks!..also, Love your real world recaps!

  14. 14
    raggedy_andy
    Posted January 17, 2007 at 3:21 am

    I forgot how many annoying people there were over the years… >_<

  15. 15
    USNRNPage
    Posted January 17, 2007 at 8:22 am

    Every time I see Connies ugly mug, I think of the hilariously funny clip of him being interviewed in Tulsa live. He goes to do a high kick for his fans, and falls flat on his face.
    Perhaps he has tried this to many times in the privacy of his bedroom, which would explain the extreme ugly he wears so well.

  16. 16
    B-Side
    Posted January 18, 2007 at 5:47 pm

    I have to say something that’s mildly crazy. As some of you know, I appear on Fox Reality for their Weekend Roundtable segment. Anyway, I was on today with none other than Mikalah Gordon. We hung out in the green room for about an hour or so before the round table, and I have to admit, she was actually very cool. The whole Fran Drescher thing seems to be gone, she was very funny, and I could see why the judges and other contestants really liked her. She was waaay more dialed back, and even on camera, once we started doing the round table, she seemed like she wasn’t doing her whole act anymore. It’s been two years, but it seems like she grew up.

    Who would have thunk it?

  17. 17
    roleepolee
    Posted January 21, 2007 at 3:06 pm

    She is pretty cute. I didn’t really think she was talented, but she seemed like a nice girl.

  18. 18
    roleepolee
    Posted January 21, 2007 at 3:07 pm

    She’s definately a better singer than Taylor Hicks, that’s for damn sure…

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