America’s Best Dance Crew: Top Ten Performances and Season Four Preview

Yo yo yo! So check it out, dawg. This here’s a little preview special for season four of America’s Best Dance Crew. Randy Jackson has put together clips from the first three seasons and made a list of his top ten performances of all time. But don’t let that fool you. The real purpose of this show is to make sure you know that ABDC has moved to a new day and time: Sundays at 9pm. The premiere is Sunday, August 9th. At 9pm. On Sunday. The 9th. Got that? If you didn’t, don’t worry, Randy will remind you about five thousand more times in the next hour.

 

See? 

So for those of you that aren’t really crazy about Randy Jackson (me!) take comfort in the fact that after this show you probably won’t see him again until the finale when he hands over the trophy to the newest winners. Unfortunately he is hosting this episode, so we get to see way too much of him.

Already this is too much for me. 

Randy tells us he’s seen a lot of amazing performances over the past three seasons of America’s Best Dance Crew (airing Sundays at 9pm), and tonight we’re going to take a look back at the hottest performances EVER. Disclaimer: Randy has picked these performances. These top ten performances are in no way reflective of what anyone else on the face of the earth thinks. Randy did not seek nor did he get any input when compiling this list. 

Number ten on the countdown is Super Cr3w. Get used to names being spelled really stupidly. It’s just how they roll on this show. I find it interesting that the season two winner of the show comes in at number ten and is never heard from again on this list. Personally, I thought a different crew (or Cr3w) should have won that season, but America didn’t agree with me. We are often at odds like that.

It looks like we’re also going to be treated to commentary from the judges during this top ten episode. Oh! And for all of you out there who have wondered what Mario thought about the performances, we get to hear from him too. You know who is notably missing from this “special”? SHANE SPARKS. I could give a rat’s ass about what Lil Mama or JC Chavez think about these numbers. I would have loved to hear what Shane had to say. Where are you Shane???

Hanging with Kayleigh 

Hmmm. I guess it wasn’t in his contract that he had to be present for this. 

Randy’s number nine pick is Fanny Pak dancing to “Get Ur Freak On” by Missy Elliot. I loved this dance; they were really freaky and at one point acted like they were rubbing blood on their faces. ♪♫ Awesome.♫♪ 

I also loved this other performance by them.

In case you forgot when it starts. 

The number eight performance is coming to us from Break Sk8. They made it all the way to the top four in season one, although I have to admit I was never as crazy about them as other people were. Sure, it was cool that they “danced” on roller skates, but I got over it after a while. I’m a fickle bitch, what can I say?

Randy tells us that Break Sk8 wasn’t the only crew to blow his mind with their distinctive style, there was another crew that was very unique: Dynamic Edition. For those of you that watch So You Think You Can Dance, you may remember Brandon Norris, the clogger who liked to add some hip hop flavor into his routines that auditioned for season three of the show. 

I liked them. They were dorky but cute. Very white bread trying to be hip, but they did TRY. They were also always together.  JC Chasez pops up to tell us he thinks they were the cleanest group they’ve ever had on the show, and I think he’s right.

Write that down because I almost never agree with him. 

After Randy reminds us AGAIN about their new night and time, we take a brief commercial break. 

Does anyone else find this commercial disturbing? What is she shaved her pubes off? Would it just be a bare bush with branches or what?? These are the things I ponder late at night. 

Okay after the morphing bushes we come back to some clips from season one labeled as “highlights”. Basically they’re clips of people flipping and doing tricks. See?

Over this montage JC is telling us that a great performance has to have it all; the right music, the right choreography, with the right ideas. All it takes is one misstep and they could be knocked off. The show, that is.

Is he wearing makeup??? 

Lil Mama pops up to say something but I have no idea what it was because her hair is ridiculous and distracting and all I can concentrate on at the moment.

Please fire your hairdresser immediately. 

Don’t forget! 

Number six on Randy’s list is Beat Freaks from season 3. They were up against Quest Crew in the finale with Quest Crew taking the title. But these chicks were HAWT. Randy’s favorite from them was when they had to incorporate magic into their routine, in their case making something levitate. This is another one I loved. Here, check it out if you haven’t seen it.

These girls were freaking amazing. 

After another break we come back to season two highlights. Guess what? They’re just like season one’s highlights. Over this montage JC is telling us that ABDC is an opportunity for an entire culture to be exposed on a national stage. 

Not like that!! 

Randy’s number five pick is Kaba Modern from season one. He picks their very first performance on the show, which set the stage for what they would bring throughout that season. 

There was a Michael Jackson challenge that year; actually it was a “Thriller” challenge, with each crew performing to a track from that record. Kaba Modern got the song “Thriller” and fucking kicked ass every which way. THIS is my favorite from them.

Is that fucking killer or what?!?

Just a reminder. 

After another break, another highlight reel. This time from season three. More flips, more tricks. More talking from JC and Lil Mama that I don’t feel like listening to, so let’s move it along to number four on the countdown. They are Strikers All Stars from season three. These guys combined hip hop and stepping and it was a pretty cool outcome.

In this number they had to create mirror images of themselves, and they did a really good job. At one point they switched sides by swinging through the “mirror” frame. It was a really cool effect.

Number three on the countdown goes to a group number that the crews did in season one to “It’s a Hard Knock Life”. 

That number was a lot of fun.  They gave each group a little spotlight part, and then made sure that there were segments when a couple of groups and/or all the groups danced together.

So we’re winding down on the countdown, and I’m beginning to realize that the preview we’ve been promised is going to be really really brief. Annoying. I bet it’s just one the commercials. Number two on the list is season three winners, Quest Crew. This performance was the one that won them the title. Check it out.

I loved these guys. We had three So You Think You Can Dance alumni on this crew: Hok, Dominic and Ryan. Plus I think the others had at one time or another auditioned but didn’t happen to make it through. Hopefully we can get guys of this caliber auditioning again; I missed having good hip hoppers this season.

Randy says the guys in the number one crew are truly warriors. They kicked ass every time they took the stage. They are the JabbaWockeeZ, season one’s winners. This performance is from the “Thriller” challenge as well. And it is Fan-Fucking-Tastic.

The thing about JabbaWockeeZ that was so cool was that they always wore those masks and yet you always felt the emotion from their performance. Without seeing their faces. How is that even possible? All I know is that I could watch them perform all day.

So that’s the countdown. Now it’s time for a preview of season four which begins Sunday at 9pm. As I suspected with two minutes left to the show, the preview we get is pitiful, so I’ve pulled together what information I could find about the nine crews competing this year. I apologize in advance for the quality of the pictures; MTV hasn’t posted any pix of the new crews yet. Bastards.

These are the crews, in alphabetical order…..

AFROBORIKE (Las Vegas, NV) – They have been labeled as a Salsa crew, so I’m guessing we might get some cool tricks and very skimpy costumes for the ladies.

ARTISTRY IN MOTION (North Hollywood, CA) – An all-female crew. They say they’re trying to break the bootyshaking cycle. My prediction is they will end up shaking those booties. They also call their style contemp-hop which makes me cringe. I bet Tabitha and Napoleon are their heroes.

BEAT YA FEET KINGS (Washington, D.C.) – This crew has actually been featured on It’s Showtime at the Apollo. They have a new style which they have called Beatin’ Ya Feet. Makes sense to me. They actually look like they could be awesome. Well, not in this picture. In general.

FR3SH (Matawan, NJ) – I hate the numbers in the spelling of their name. Lame. They also compare themselves to The Breakfast Club. My prediction is that they will be a bunch of annoying posers.

WE ARE HEROES (Los Angeles, CA) – Another all girl crew that calls their style “Glam Style”. They say they’re inspired by everything from Fred Astaire to Michael Jackson. I’m reserving judgment for now because I’m digging their outfits.

MASSIVE MONKEES (Seattle, WA) – B-boys who have competed internationally and apparently won a lot of titles.  From what I’ve seen, they deserve the titles. 

RHYTHM CITY (Bronx, NY) – This crew’s leader created a non profit organization to get kids off the streets and into dance. That is very cool. I hope they are as good as I want them to be. They’ve competed a lot, and could present some real competition to Massive Monkeys.

TEAM ROCKY TOP, former known as SOUTHERN MOVEMENT (Nashville, TN) – They call their style Hick-hop, combining hip hop and line dancing. I think I hate them already.

VOGUE EVOLUTION (New York, NY) – You should be able to tell from their name that their style is vogueing. They are also the first openly gay crew to compete on the show, and work to educate others on AIDS/HIV. I’m not sure how versatile vogueing can be, but I’m curious to see.

So what do you think, Gasmi? Will you watch with me? I’m looking forward to seeing what these crews can do and what lame challenges the producers will think up. I’m also looking forward to seeing Shane on my TV every week; I love that man. What am I not looking forward to? JC and his lame ass comments. I predict in the first week he will make a comment about lack of choreography to at least one of the crews. 

I hope you’ll join me; it’ll be freaky freaky fresh….. 

SWAK, PottyMouth

Oh shit! I almost forgot……..

I’d be so upset if I forgot to tell you.