America’s Best Dance Crew: A Little Practice Goes A Loooong Way

Welcome to season four of America’s Best Dance Crew! For those of you new to the dance crew experience, it’s sort of like So You Think You Can Dance, but instead of dancing in random pairs, people dance in groups. Not “randomly” assigned groups, they were in these groups before they came on the show. And they don’t get styles assigned to them. Instead they get a different challenge each week. See how similar they are? Well, there’s voting! And people getting booted off, so they’re similar that way. 

How do they get booted you ask? Well there’s a sort of a dance for your life section that the bottom crews are put in, and then the judges………Wait! Why are you questioning me?!?!? ABDC is like SYTYCD‘s second cousin (twice removed). If that second cousin (twice removed) was from the streets.

Did someone say street???? 

Don’t get scared. You won’t see her here. At least I think you won’t see her here. God, I hope I didn’t just jinx us.

We start the season with mush mouth Mario Lopez talking smack about how the west coast has reigned supreme in this competition. Then crews pop up to tell us this is their time, most of whom we will never see again so I’m guessing it was their time. To go. And then Randy Jackson decides to make a liar of me and show his mug on camera.

That’s it! Go away until the finale. Thanks! 

After Mario does a little mini intro for each of the crews, it’s time to unveil the crew banners. As long as the crew’s banner is flying, they are in the competition, but if they get eliminated, their banner must fall. I was going to just take an overall shot of them all, but then I thought you might want to see them up close and personal, so here you go…..

The first challenge of the season is the Crew’s Choice Challenge. Each crew will dance to a song of their own choice, hoping to impress the judges (and us) with their style and talent. After every third performance the judges will move two crews on to safety and send one to the sudden death showdown facing possible elimination. Get it? Got it? Good.

First crew up is the Beat Ya Feet Kings from Washington D.C. We get video package of them in their hometown, telling us what beating ya feet means (basically beating ya feet) and they tell us they dance to go go music which I thought at first meant they were strippers, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. What is go go music? Hell if I know.

I’m thinking these guys might know 

Porche (the girl not the car) tells us that go go is basically one big party where you come and listen to the live band. Thanks. That was really helpful. Porche tells us that they’re going to do things with their feet that people have never seen before. That sounds a little kinky.

You’re going to need to get used to Mario’s stupid and corny intros if you’re going to be watching this show. Ready for the first one? “Can they move their feet without getting beat down early?” Who the hell writes this shit for him? They should be fired. 

Let’s see what they’ve got.

Wow. I really hated that. They were so fucking sloppy it was ridiculous. Did they practice before coming on the show? This is definitely not a great way to start the season for me. 

Let’s see what the judges have to say. But I guess first we need to meet them, right?

Again, for all you newbies out there, there is really only one judge whose opinion I give a rat’s ass about on this show and that is hottie choreographer Mr. Shane Sparks.

Yummy 

Then there’s “superstar emcee” Lil Mama. 

And “pop icon” JC Chasez.

I liked it better last year when they always introduced JC as “original member of ‘NSync”. For whatever reason that one always made me laugh. Anyway, let’s see what they thought about the Beat Ya Feet Kings.

Shane loves their footwork, and he gets it, but he thought it was a little sloppy. He says the thing that bothers him the most is that they’ve seen three seasons of the show already and they need to “come correct” which I’m guessing means, “leave that weak ass shit at home.” Or something along those lines.

And then he goes to a slo-mo of the footwork. This show loooooooves slo-mos. You will learn to hate them. The slo-mo to me just emphasizes even more how not together they were. 

Lil Mama agrees with Shane. She thought they had great energy but then they stagnate their energy in their performance sort of like with slow movement.

All judges that start with Lil speak in nonsense talk.

She’s been to DC and knows what the go go feel is like, especially in the clubs. She wants them to open up and show us what DC is about, what the go go is about. JC agrees with both of them. He thinks it could be cleaner, but that this is just the beginning for them. He enjoyed that they felt the music.

Next up is an all girl crew that Mario tells us came together from all four corners of the world. They are We Are Heroes from L.A. I’m not sure how L.A. became all four corners of the world. Allison tells us that they’re going to show us something we’ve never seen before. Yeah, I have a feeling that a lot of crews are going to be making that claim. 

They’re an all female popping and locking crew. Nice. One of the girls, Hiro, came over from Japan and her father doesn’t approve of her dancing. That really sucks. What’s with these parents not supporting their kids’ dreams? You suck Hiro’s dad!!

No More Dancing Evah!! 

They tell us that last season Beat Freaks represented for the female crews, this season they want to finish what was started.

I really liked them. The part when they were leaning back and popping was awesome. And hard. I don’t know that I could hold that position for long at all let alone be popping at the same time. I thought that was a good showing, makes me want to see what else they can do.

Lil Mama’s up first this time. She also loved the leaning back or dip as she calls it. She thought it was a little slow getting into their performance but they’re talented and worth being in the competition. She loves women who come to this show and bring strength. Cue slo-mo. JC thinks they did a great job; it started off a little slow but he thought the popping was great. 

Shane doesn’t think they started out slow at all, they were showing us another style. He’s excited about them because they are the epitome of what he likes to see in a girl group. He 100% loved it. Represent. I love when he and I agree. Represent.

Mario tells us the next crew blends the power of Puerto Rican and Cuban dance, calling themselves Afroborike. Does that mean anything in Spanish? I guess I should go look, huh? Not according to babelfish. Anyone know? 

So this is a salsa crew. Veronica tells us that dance has been in them since they were in their mothers’ bellies. Yeouch. I feel sorry for their moms. One of the crew members defected from Cuba and hasn’t seen his family for five years. Sorry but your sob story isn’t going to get me to vote for you. Only your dancing will. Well, it would. If I voted which I don’t. Nevermind.

I cannot even begin to tell you how much I hate this dude’s hair. 

Okay. Well, they lose points immediately because they are dancing to a Marc Anthony song and that guy creeps me out. They were okay. Not terrible, but not really all that great either. I thought they were sloppy also, and not always together. It’s hard to be in sync with partnering work, but that’s what practice is for. 

JC likes them already. He thinks they have real depth as a group, combining partnered dancing, group dancing and even dirty dancing. Dirty dancing would fall under the same category as partnered dancing, JC. He especially liked the flying Puerto Rican move that they did (pictured above). 

Shane loves their energy. He thinks from a choreography perspective, they need to broaden their vocabulary because he’s seen it all already. Lil Mama is going to disagree with that because she a little ethnic dance in there with the salsa. She thinks they should be more together. Amen. 

After a commercial break, we’re back to find out which of the first three crews will be facing elimination. I don’t really care as long as We Are Heroes gets through. And they do. Thank you!! Also through to the next round is Afroborike which means Beat Ya Feet Kings are up for elimination.

Oh no, they might go.  Go 

I’m not sad about that at all. See what happens when you don’t bother to practice before coming on the show? We’ll have to wait to the end of the show to see what they’re going to bring to the elimination round. And I can wait.

Next up is b-boy crew, Massive Monkeys from Seattle. Their video clip includes a shout out from the mayor of Seattle. Is that impressive? Hell if I know. He could record these sorts of things all the time. Ooooo, I want one. 

“When I think about dance show recappers of course I think about PottyMouth.” 

Thanks mayor whateveryourname is! You are too kind. Are you ready for the sob story of this crew? J.D. tells us when he was a kid he was club footed and had to wear leg braces. Now he’s dancing. He doesn’t think his mom could have ever imagined he would be doing the things he is doing today. I’ll bet that could be said of a lot of moms. And not just those with club footed kids.

I loved these guys. I have to be upfront about this right away because it will be very obvious over the course of the season: I love me the b-boys. I definitely have a soft spot for them (and the b-girls) I think because I marvel at what they can do, and what they come up with. I thought these guys were going to be good and they totally live up to my expectations. Love!

Shane tells everyone to give it up for them. He says from beginning to end that is what he was talking about. They came out with fire. He doesn’t have enough time in the show to talk about everything he could talk about. 

JC thinks they put on a great performance. He talks more but I tuned him out so I have no idea what he said. Trust me, we didn’t miss anything. Lil Mama thinks they set the tone for the second half of the show. She thinks they’re on point and athletic and she enjoyed their performance.

Moving al…..wait. Shane has something he wants to add about JD (guy who wore leg braces). He tells him, “You can’t stop the power, you can’t stop the fire; they can’t stop us. We can’t be stopped no matter what happens, we can’t be stopped. So, you’re here for a reason, just know that.” He’s so sweet.

Wasn’t sure if you knew the show had a new time slot. Sundays at 9pm! You probably don’t know this even though you are WATCHING IT! 

The next group is Artistry In Motion from North Hollywood. This group features Donyelle from season two of So You Think You Can Dance. I loved her when she was on the show and I’m curious to see what this girl crew is going to bring to the table. 

Donyelle chose for her crew girls that she thought were amazing dancers. Well, DUH. I didn’t think she went out and tried to find crappy dancers. Then she goes on to talk about how in this industry you’re expected to be a certain body type and she’s been told over and over that she can’t be a dancer because of her body type. Yes, Donyelle, we KNOW. You already told us all about that on SYTYCD. 

I guess it’s new for those of you that don’t watch that show, but I’m over it already. I really like her so I’m hoping that she doesn’t go on and on and on about it because then I’ll be wishing for them to get cut. 

I hate their costumes, but other than that I thought they did really well. It’s obvious they can really dance, and I see where they’re trying to blend some more contemporary movement in with the hip hop flavor. Overall, good job.

Lil Mama thinks they were incredible and then talks about how Beyonce has to work extra hard to keep her body in shape. What does this have to do with their routine? Nothing. Lil Mama says again that she thought their performance was incredible; from transitions, to their choreo(graphy) being on point and sharp, they had tightest choreography on the show tonight. 

Shane thought it was a flawless routine. He thinks they’re beautiful and loves that they’re bringing lyrical and contemporary. He also thinks they’re inspirational and he thinks the show is changing people’s futures by having this group here.

Please don’t start talking like Nigel about how the show is changing so much for so many people. PLEASE! 

JC is all about the positive message and agrees with Shane and Lil Mama on that front. However, he would only call their routine mostly clean. He thinks they fell apart at the end. And I really REALLY hate to say this, but he’s right. Wow. That was hard to admit. 

Time for another crew, Southern Movement. This is interesting, because it looks like their name changed again. First they were Southern Movement, then Team Rocky Top, now back to Southern Movement. So this is the group that says they do hick-hop, country line dancing and hip hop combined. And I already hate them on principle alone. I just know they’re going to be completely LAME.

They actually weren’t the train wreck I thought they were going to be. The hand tutting they did was really cool, along with some of the other choreography. Personally, I think they used this gimmick to get cast on the show, but I’m betting they will drop it over the course of the season. Much better than I thought they would be though.

JC goes right into a slo-mo of them line dancing. He says he had fun with them, they performed when they were on stage which was a lot of fun. He liked the hand tutting but wants them to think about their levels more. Lil Mama has nothing of value to add.

♫♪ Hip Hop! ♫♪ 

Shane was not expecting that; he was going to laugh at the whole thing. But, he says, they can actually dance their butts off. He didn’t care for the music because it didn’t have that driving beat, but when he just watched them dance, he thought they were ripping the stage. He wants them to keep bringing it like that.

Time for the judges to send one more crew to the sudden death round. First crew moving on is Massive Monkeys. DUR. The second crew going through to the next round is Artistry In Motion which means Southern Movement may go home. I agree with this choice as well. 

Let’s move along, shall we? We’re heading up to the Bronx now to see what Rhythm City is going to bring to the table. Did you know hip hop started in the Bronx?

It started in the STREET 

They are here to rep the Bronx and show where hip hop came from. They want to show what hip hop used to be, and what it still is.

I LOVE THIS CREW!! They were so fucking tight it was crazy. I love the part done to the dialing of a phone. Hell, I loved the whole thing. Right now they are my favorite crew of the night. 

Shane says, “Niiiice, nice, da Bronx is da house. YEAH.” He thinks they killed the choreography, the look, the transitions, the isolations. They killed it. He says they nailed everything. 

Lil Mama loves them too. She starts off saying something that I didn’t quite get, but I think it was “You go boogie town.” Either that or something about a booger. She thinks they’re awesome and off the hook. She loves their style. Crazy. In a good way.

JC thinks THAT was the cleanest performance they’ve seen so far tonight, saying that it’s in the details and talking specifically about that phone dialing part I was talking about before. Shit. JC and I have the same favorite. That’s not really going to work for me. He’s gonna need to change that.

Don’t blink at me! We can’t have the same favorite. Change!! 

The next crew is Fr3sh from New Jersey. No, it’s not a typo, it’s the lame ass way they spell their name. That alone is grounds for hate. They tell us that they’re just a group of friends who happen to love to dance, but their friendship comes first which is what makes their dancing so unique and so different. Why?? Do most crews hate each other or something? I’m confused. Oh wait, I don’t care.

I thought the hair spray cans in the beginning were a cute idea that should have been cut in half time wise. They weren’t bad. In fact, I thought they were fairly good. Rhythm City is a hard act to follow, so I think it’s a win for them that I didn’t absolutely hate them. Especially considering my hatred of their name.

Doof. 

JC gives his patented critique when it comes to using props: Don’t let the prop own you. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve heard him say that. He also calls them out on smiling too much in a part of the song where it got really tough. 

Do I really need to say anything about this? 

Shane liked their energy and thought that they were so street tonight. They were using the body and the backbone and the hip and that’s what he calls real dancing. Lil Mama loves what they bring to the table. She agrees. It was good.

Time for the last crew of the evening, Vogue Evolution. Mario tells us that this crew is on a mission to break down barriers and bring their underground dance style to the mainstream. Didn’t Madonna already do that? Is voguing still considered to be underground?

I have a barrier against overly groomed eyebrows. 

They participate in the ballroom scene which Devon tells us are underground competitions. They’re ready to bring something special and something new.

Okay. I’ll be totally honest here. I am not a voguing expert. Here’s the thing for me, I think that in places it looks like flailing about and can seem to be sloppy. But there were sections that they were dead on and I loved that. I loved the segment that I have the picture of above this, their rippling effect. That was together and tight and awesome. I’ll be really curious to see how this style plays out over the course of the different challenges.

Lil Mama says “Tens tens across the board, I step out they all applaud.” She thinks they are perfect. She’s excited about the ball right now because she’s having her ball. Ten ten.

Cuckoo 

She thinks they’re definitely bringing a new element to the show. It’s new, it’s fun, it’s hot, it’s interesting. JC likes that they’re all battle tested; they’ve already been competing in underground clubs so they understand what it’s like to battle. He also liked their levels. 

Shane’s not sure how he feels right now because they ripped the stage, but he didn’t know what to expect. He thinks it’s about time for this style to be exposed. 

Just the style though, don’t expose yourselves! 

Time to find out which crew will be the last one put into the sudden death elimination round. Obviously it’s not going to be Rhythm City. They’re fucking awesome. And going through to the next round. So who is going into the elimination round? Fr3sh. 

And we’re going right into the sudden death face off between Beat Ya Feet Kings, Southern Movement and Fr3sh. All the crews were given the same song and asked to prepare a routine in case they were up for elimination. They each have thirty seconds to take the stage and prove why they deserve to stay. The song for this fight to the death? “Boom Boom Pow” by The Black Eyed Peas. Ready? Let the battle begin!!!

I thought Fr3sh and Southern Movement did the best jobs with that. For me, Beat Ya Feet Kings were still too sloppy. Let’s see what the judges decided. The first crew going through to next week is….Beat Ya Feet Kings. What?! I totally disagree with that decision.

So the crew going home tonight is Fr3sh. Well, the good thing about that is that I don’t have to spell their stupid ass name anymore. 

Bye. Don’t forget to pick up your banner on the way out.  

After they walk it out, Mario gives the numbers to vote for the remaining crews, and then tells us that next week’s challenge will be all about Beyonce. And she just might make a special appearance herself. Ugh. Really? I think I might be sick next week.

So what did you think, Gasmi? Any favorites yet? Were you sad to Fr3sh go, or is it too early to care? It’s too early for me to really care too much, although I would get pissed if it was a crew that I really really liked. so maybe it’s not too early after all. Represent!

SWAK, PottyMouth