America’s Next Top Model: Makeover Edition

The makeover episode is always one of the most enjoyably during a season of America’s Next Top Model, so forgive me for once again going the cheap and easy route when it comes to the title of the recap. But none of that’s important. The reason I love the makeover episode is that we really get to see the vision the judges had when they picked these girls out in the first place. I think initially, it is not that difficult to look at these girls and tell if they are attractive or not. What the makeover does is start to help us determine if these girls are going to make it in the world of high fashion. Like I said before, the judges have a vision, and you think that after all of these seasons, the girls would learn to trust the judges instincts. Really, has there ever been a makeover that made any off these girls less attractive? Now that would be interesting- the reverse makeover. I wonder if Tyra would try it someday.It would have been nice to say that everybody missed Kathy from last week, but I am pretty sure that not one person noticed that she was gone. Nobody ever wants to be the first person eliminated, but at least she didn’t have to leave before millions of people saw her blurred ass on television. For the rest of the girls, they returned home to discover a Tyra mail warning them that there would be more cuts tomorrow, so be ready at 7:30 AM.

After judging, Jade was upset because Nigel insinuated that she was arrogant, which really upset her. She said that she is a humble person and that anybody who got to know the real Jade would see that she is not arrogant. First, I would not like to speak for Nigel, but I am sure he would apologize for insinuating that he thought Jade was arrogant, because I am sure he wanted to leave no doubt in anybody’s mind that he thinks Jade is arrogant. As for Jade, it’s hard to argue that you aren’t arrogant when you go around mentioning how people stop and stare at you on the street because you are so fine. It also doesn’t help your case when you are talking over the judges when they are trying to give you advice. But hey, I am sure that it was all just editing, and after a few more episodes, the true, humble Jade will shine right through.

Like I have said before, the makeover episode is a staple of Top Model. If you are scared of getting your haircut because you like it long, or a certain color, or your hometown honey likes it a certain way, it’s probably best not to go on the show. That being said, there are always people who will complain, and this year was no different. Since people were sick and tired of me naming dropping streets and so forth in Los Angeles, I’ll only mention that their salon was in Beverly Hills. Oh, and while I am talking about issues that aren’t important, Wendy mentioned casually that she found her parents, who she previously thought might be dead. I thought that if she had found out her parents are alive during the show, they would have made a big deal about it. Maybe they just didn’t want to exploit the situation for ratings. But since this since this is reality television, I am sure that there was a bigger reason to save it, like and appearance on the Tyra Show.

As the girls walked in, they were introduced to the people who would be doing their makeover hair and makeup, and Tyra began to outline the vision that she had for each of the girls. Jade was desperately hoping that they would give her long hair because, according to her, long hair is what sells in the industry. Girls with long hair work, girls with short hair don’t work. You think that if Jade had this all figured out, she would have found the time somewhere in the last eight years to grow her hair long, or save up money from waitressing to get some extensions or a weave. She’s so hot, there has to be plenty of men out there that want to buy her things, right? RIGHT?

Anyway, Tyra started with Kari, saying they wanted to turn the Brat into Bridgette Bardot. I think Kari is only average and luscious locks won’t do much for that fetal alcohol syndrome face that she has. Leslie was going to go thick and luscious. Sara was going to get a short haircut, and immediately, I wondered if Tyra was once again going to attempt her Mia Farrow from Rosemary’s Baby style she so desperately wanted last year. Alas, Tyra said that Sara would get short on the sides, longer on the top, with a Brigitte Nielsen platinum blonde. Sara was kind of shocked, and I am sure that hearing your look would be patterned after Brigitte Nielsen did not help, especially when everybody was laughing in the background. All Sara could think about was her boyfriend, an aide to a conservative Senator, and how she would have to miss the Christmas Party. I am sure it is not that bad. How conservative can this Senator be? If anybody complains about her haircut, she can just say she went to Lynn Cheney’s stylist, and there won’t be any more discussion.

Danielle was getting a weave, and Joanie was becoming even more blonde. Gina was going to have similar hair, except with more cuts and angles for drama, as if her opening her mouth wasn’t enough drama for her. Tyra saw something in Brooke that said Victoria’s Secret, so they went with Giselle Bundchen. Personally, I see more Transamerica than Victoria’s Secret, but that is just me. Nnenna looked so good bald, they decided to shave her hair off like Brandi from cycle four. Furonda got the Cher hair last seen on Tiffany, and Wendy was going to have honey locks.

Tyra finally got her Mia Farrow, picking Mollie Sue to get that cut, which only left Jade. It was almost a given that so soon as Jade mentioned she wanted long hair she would be told that she would have to chop it off. That is exactly what happened, as Tyra told her that they wanted to give her a soft and sweet look, perhaps thinking that it would translate into a soft and sweet Jade. Tyra was wrong, because Jade was complaining about it the whole time.

Overall, I think that there were a lot of good makeovers, although I would say that they really aren’t as dramatic as some seasons past. Although some people got their hair cut short, Jade was the only one who had a dramatic color change. Mollie Sue already had short hair, but with the new style, I think she looks stunning. She has a great face and her eyes are almost vacant, but I think it works. Even though she complained, I thought Sara had a great edgy style. Maybe she won’t be able to date Senator’s aides any longer, but if she’s lucky she’ll pick up a Stallone brother or maybe Flava Flav. I don’t know what to say about Nnenna, she looked gorgeous before, and I think that with the shaved head, she really has a high fashion look. I loved Danielle’s face before, and the new hair almost makes me forget the snaggletooth. I was hoping for a lot more from Leslie’s makeover. Here are my favorites

I know I said that the makeovers can’t make you worse, but that was before I saw Jade and Wendy. Wendy looked like a neighbor that lived next to me in New York. His name was Beau, and he was a cocker spaniel. Needless to say, Wendy doesn’t blow me away. As for Jade, it looked like she got a really bad perm. If she was going with the elven look, the elves came straight from the set of Golden Girlsi. I imagine that we all have grandmothers who have come home with hair that had an off color, but Jade looked like she was getting ready for Halloween. And it’s not like she was oblivious to the fact of how horrible she looked, she was very jealous of Furonda and her extensions.

I thought Furonda would look good with extensions, but I thought it could have been better. When Tiffany got hers, I was like “Whoa”, but when Furonda got hers, I thought it was OK. Still, half the battle of getting your new look is being able to work your new look, and that takes confidence. Furonda definitely had confidence because she was looking in the mirror ever few minutes to take a gander at how beautiful she was. She was so confident, she decided that it was time to pass out her rules for living. After reading them, you come away with the idea that she is a huge diva, but at least her roommates can’t say that they were warned:

• 1. I will treat you in a way identical to, or worse than, the way you treat me.
• 2. I am the best person to discuss me with.
• 3. If you need anything other than emergency items, please do not ask me.
• 4. Stay out of my personal business unless I invite you in.

One day after the girls got their new looks, they went to the GEN ART fashion show. After their makeovers, Jay Manuel helped them pick out their personal style. After the fashion show, they had a chance to go backstage and pick items off of the designer racks that they thought would demonstrate their personal style. After they picked their items, they went to meet Rachel Zoe, celebrity stylist, who told them they would have 15 minutes to do their hair and makeup and get into their clothes. The girls did have a little help in their corner, as Naima Mora, winner of ANTM Cycle 4 was there to pimp some CoverGirl cosmetics and give the ladies tips on applying their makeup. I love Naima, but I have no clue what she was wearing. She’s got a great body, so you wonder why she was wearing a pregnant peasant dress.

Naima, about to drop 10

A lot of the girls came pretty close, but it was Nnenna who did the best. Her style was African Queen, and she was able to pull off the look effortlessly, and let’s face it, she has the proud yet graceful attitude to match. For her win, Nnenna won a $5000 shopping spree, and she got to pick two people to go with her. Nnenna has been doing everything so effortlessly, she decides to take a stab at the impossible and bring Gina and Jade together. The two of them were able to coexist, but Jade was so mean to Gina that it will take more than some faux politeness on a shopping spree to bring them together.

Go sistah, soul sistah

Although Gina and Jade may have their issues, I am not sure too much will come of it, mainly because there are a lot of people who must fight for the attention of Jade’s anger and cattiness. It is obvious that Jade thinks highly over herself, and you can tell that the competition is making her nervous. After her makeover, she said that she lost her identity and wanted to talk to her parents. The only problem was that Wendy was talking to her parents, who she thought might be dead only a little while ago. While Jade was trying to deal with an identity crisis, Wendy had to listen to how her house was under eight feet of water. Was it Wendy’s fault that she happened to be on the phone when Jade decided to freak out. I never like people who play the victim in order to get sympathy, but if this was a contest of who deserved some compassion, don’t you agree that Wendy holds the upper hand?

In order to help herself cope, Jade resorts to putting other people down to make herself feel better. I also find it hilarious that Jade complained about having an identity crisis, which is the same thing Jade decided she would use to make fun of Gina. The only problem is that not everybody is going to take it lying down like Gina. Jade would constantly bug Furonda about her hair, mainly because she was jealous. Jade said that the judges knew she was great, and they gave her short hair because they wanted her to work harder. If it was a test, she was clearly failing the oral portion of the test, because she still wouldn’t shut up. When people started mentioning the way she treats people, she said that it wasn’t America’s Next Best Friend. She then made fun of Furonda, who had been wearing a little tiara, even though the shawl Jade was wearing was just as ridiculous. I guess I shouldn’t make fun of her because she is, in her own words, a “soldier’s sister”. Wars may come and go, but my soldiers stay eternal, and Jade will eternally be a nutcase.

The photo shoot this week had the girls taking pictures in an ice cooler. Now, I could have sworn that in one of the previous two seasons, the girls had a similarly chill photo shoot, with some guys as accessories, but I can’t find it in the archives. Hair and makeup was pretty straightforward; the challenge here was in the conditions. Since these girls are still new, it takes all of their concentration to think about their poses. Any sort of distraction can really throw them off, and when you can’t feel your limbs, it makes it even more difficult.

Perhaps more importantly, we got a chance to see how the girls were able to work their new looks. Some of the girls were completely distracted by their new looks. There was Jade of course, but Sara also seemed to be really affected by her makeover. I really liked Sara, but her high school volleyball player hair cut wasn’t all that great, and I think the new look actually brings her close to “Glamazon”. On the other end of the spectrum was Furonda. She absolutely loved her new style and although I don’t think she necessarily blew the rest of the competition away, she did much better than last week.

I usually try and five out three or four favorites each week, but this time only a couple stood out. The first is Mollie Sue. Maybe I’ll get over it soon, but the hair and the eyes make for a combination that makes it impossible for me to look away. And then there was Nnenna. Talk about fierce! She just gives you this look that says “I may be trouble, what are YOU going to do about it”. I though Danielle and Sara also had good shots, and Joanie and Kari weren’t bad, but they just didn’t pop. Here you go:

When it came time for panel, the judges were mostly concerned that some of the girls were a little too much Penthouse and not enough top model. Kari especially has to watch herself in that respect, as those lips and those boobs just scream Spearmint Rhino. As we have heard in the past, the goal is to be sexy and sultry, but you have to leave slutty and skanky far, far behind. The judges gave high marks to Brooke for having sex appeal without the sleaze. I guess I am going to have to let her grown on me, because I still don’t really see the appeal. Nigel said there is something so wrong about her that just works, but i think there is more wrong than right.

Once again, they gave high marks to Nnenna, and I think she is going to sail through for at least another few weeks. She is beautiful, knows her style, and works it well. She has good angles, and the only thing that may hurt her down the line is the personality. Although the judges chastised Mollie Sue for not wearing heels (she’s short, and so she must always be in heels to make an impression), they also loved her photograph. Last year, I made mention that I liked the way Kim looked, but quickly soured on her. Mollie Sue brings a lot of that same androgynous, boyish look to the table, but Mollie sue really has the edge and the features for high fashion. It wasn’t Kim’s fault that she had that unfortunately smushed nose and pudgy face, but I believe Mollie Sue actually has the kind of look that a lot of us thought Kim possessed somewhere underneath her. Like Nnenna, Mollie Sue’s should do well, but when they start talk about looking like a model in person, it may hurt her because the personality doesn’t exactly blow you away.

Then came Jade, the girl who talks about being strong started making excuses for her performance. Luckily, the judges weren’t buying any of it. Nigel told her to stop the bitching, because she is not going to be able to control a lot of things on a photo shoot. It is her job to take what they give her and make it amazing. It was exactly the speech that I would have given Jade, but considering Nigel asked her what was wrong a few moments earlier, I thought it was sort of harsh. Then again, it wasn’t as harsh as when he made fun of Joanie and her protruding tooth, which was enhanced by the producers playing an elephant noise in the background.

I think the judges were actually fairly disappointed with a lot of the performances this week, but you could tell all episode that it was going to come down to two people: Jade and Wendy. It’s not a big surprise to me, because I don’t consider either of them very attractive compared to a lot of the girls around them. Wendy’s head simply wasn’t in the game. It’s hard enough to try and model when you don’t know what you are doing, but trying to do all of that while thinking about what’s left of your home and your family, it takes a lot out of you. Some people may be able to handle this, but Wendy let it show in her pictures. As for Jade, she has not figured out that she is here to improve. If she already knew what it took to be a model, she would be, you know, a model. As the judges said, the arrogance is insecurity, and she is going to have to get over those insecurities if she wants to improve. Nigel said that Jade just needs to get laid, and knowing him, he was willing to help her out.

The judges decided that Jade had more potential, and sent Wendy back home, or to her parents because we aren’t sure if she even has a home now, but you get the picture. I have to say that I agree with the choice because Wendy had nothing that made you want to stick around for more. Definitely not top model material, and after they get rid of Furonda (who’s gonda, according to Nigel) and Jade, I think the competition will be on.

What did you think of the episode? Who had the best makeover? Who had the worst? Did the right girl go home this week?