America’s Next Top Model: The Tyra Bird Gets the Worm

America's Next Top Model

By LoLo | | 3:09 pm | 30 Comments

This week on America’s Next Top Model, the drama explodes as the girls split into two factions — that is, everyone but Fatty, who is too busy licking the inside of a can of frosting to pick a side.

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“Hmm, I think there’s enough room in here to store at least 7 KFC DoubleDowns…”

We open with the girls in the limo after Morticia’s elimination, and Alasia puts herself immediately on my elimination watch list when she tells us that she used to have low self esteem, but that it’s getting a lot better now. Meanwhile, Hood Rat (Angelea) is frustrated that she’s been the second-best twice but never the first-place finisher. Sweetie, I think most of us are shocked by how well you’ve been doing, so don’t jinx it with your talk of “takin’ sum bitches out.” Eyebrows (Raina) asks her if it’s weird that there will be another empty bed in her room, and Hood Rat dismissively announces that there can’t be two top models, so she ain’t trippin’. Old Lady (Krista) tells us that she, Hood Rat, Rachel McAdams (Anslee) and Alasia are the realest bitches in the house (Team Psycho), while Eyebrows, Molly Ringworm (Brenda) and Jessica (Team Snotty) all are needy and annoying. According to Old Lady, they don’t get along and the house is definitely divided. Let’s hope for some drama then, huh?

Back at the house, Jessica is practicing a sexy walk down the runway, lamenting the lack of pole at the end, while Hood Rat bitches that Jessica thinks she’s perfect and can do no wrong. I personally don’t find Jessica cocky, so I think this is the talk of a bitter runner-up. When Jessica runs off to find her pasties, Hood Rat turns her attention to her other enemies, Eyebrows and Molly Ringworm, and asks them what it’s like to be in the bottom. While Eyebrows looks like a kicked puppy and wonders what’s happened in Hood Rat’s life to make her so angry, Molly Ringworm quickly — and passive aggressively — tells Eyebrows just to ignore Hood Rat, and that Hood Rat is just a bitch anyway. Because you shit rainbows and sunshine, Molly. Needless to say, this does not go over well with Hood Rat, who snaps that she’s jus’ keepin’ it real, and dat dem bitches who think dey can do no wrong, guesswha, dey did wrong! Eyebrows and Molly Ringworm are clearly in the right here, given that they were attacked out of the blue, but my hatred for Molly is so strong that I will side with Hood Rat as the lesser of two evils.

Later that evening, Eyebrows, Molly Ringworm and Jessica are in bed, gossiping, while Alasia sits in her own bed, ignoring them. Alasia tells us that it sucks to have to room with those girls, but if they don’t bother her, she won’t bother them. Cue Jessica then saying at full volume that she doesn’t get along with so-and-so, while gesturing to Alasia in her subtlest move since straddling Nigel. Alasia snaps that she can hear them and doesn’t appreciate it, while Eyebrows rudely ignores her and continues talking to Molly Ringworm. It’s very rude and immature. Just like Hood Rat was clearly in the wrong before, Team Snotty is clearly in the wrong here, meaning that all 7 of them suck.

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“This is how I sleep when my vampire voice is in charge.”

Tyra Mail announces that the girls will be “fit”, so Eyebrows predicts it’s either runway or go-sees. The next morning, Alasia is running late. which causes them to arrive late as a group at Seventeen. Miss J asks the guilty party to confess, and to her credit, Alasia immediately does. Molly Ringworm crows to us that that’s the 18 year old in Alasia coming out. Better late at 18 then knocked up, you dumb bitch. Ann “the Schnoz” Shoket is back, and she announces that the lesson is dressing appropriately for your body type. Seeing as though each of these girls is an emaciated stick other than Fatty, I feel like this will be a limited lesson. They will each have 5 minutes to pull together a figure-flattering outfit from the clothes and accessories in the Seventeen closet. Molly Ringworm struggles because she doesn’t know where her waist is (too busy looking down her nose at people to look down at her torso), and Alasia doesn’t properly identify herself as curvy. No mention is made of Fatty, which would have actually been the most interesting and informative for the viewers, given that the vast majority of us are not size 0s. The Schnoz says that everyone did really well. Zzzz. Thanks for the useless product placement, Seventeen.

Back in the limo, Jessica begins mouthing off to Alasia about the latter being late, and Alasia interjects a few comments. This causes Jessica to snap that Alasia shouldn’t talk while she’s talking, and Alasia flips her shit, shouting who is Jessica to tell her when she can and cannot talk. Alasia continues shrieking while the other girls giggle and cover their ears. It’s obnoxious and annoying, but leave it to Molly Ringworm to make things worse, as she calls out Hood Rat for being “uneducated.” There’s something to me that feels inherently racist about a white woman calling a woman of another ethnicity or race uneducated, so this is very inappropriate in my opinion. Hood Rat tells us that she’s very smart, and just because she talks the way she does, doesn’t mean she’s uneducated. Hood Rat yells back that she went to college, and further yells to Molly Ringworm, “You uneducated, you ignorant, and you rude!” I can’t help but laugh at the grammar of that sentence in this context.

The drama continues back at the house, as Team Snotty predicts that either Alasia or Hood Rat is going to throw a punch at some point and get sent home. I’m totally up for Alasia punching Molly Ringworm. It’s a win-win. Hood Rat then comes into Team Snotty’s room and makes herself comfortable, saying that it’s hard living with a bunch of girls, especially a bunch of females (insert giggle from Eyebrows at that one), when they don’t make an effort to get to know each other or try to understand each other. Although Hood Rat’s tone is calm and neutral, Molly Ringworm takes those comments as directed at her, and tries to throw Hood Rat out of a room that Hood Rat correctly points out that Molly Ringworm doesn’t own or have a say over. Ultimately, Molly tells us that she’s not going to let Hood Rat ruffle her hideous haircut or get to her. Good luck. Tyra Mail indicates they’ll be having a visitor, and a woman arrives with a note from Tinsley Mortimer, inviting them to come celebrate the launch of her new handbag line, and begging viewers to watch her failing reality TV show that happens to be on directly after ANTM.

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Rachel McAdams’ face says it all.

They arrive at the party, which is a challenge of course. Each girl will meet privately with Tinsley, and Tinsley will pick the girl with the best personality and style. The winner will do a photoshoot with Seventeen. Molly Ringworm isn’t worried, saying that these are the kinds of parties she goes to back home, the “uppity” ones. Yes, I’m sure you go to tons of fashion line launch parties in Texas will balancing your Mikes Hard Lemonade-conceived spawn on your hip, asshole. Alasia totally struggles, first trying to hang out the Jays, then alone by the exit sign, and then alone on a couch. If I were her, I’d too have trouble approaching groups of complete strangers alone and striking up conversation, but I’m not a model, I’m a lawyer. You have to pick a career that plays to your strengths. My strengths are writing, persuasive speaking and being a general dick. Hence, lawyer. Maybe Alasia should look into something that requires less social interaction. You know the voices could keep her company in any profession, no matter how isolated. Perhaps an Antarctica outpost is hiring?

Jessica is up first with Tinsley, and she does well. Rachel McAdams professes a love for Chanel, but then cannot name Karl Lagerfeld, whose scary face any true Chanel girl would know. Molly Ringworm says that her favorite designer is the oompa loompa we know and love on Project Runway — Michael Kors. Tinsley compliments Eyebrows’ outfit, and Alasia continues to do horribly, saying that her favorite designer is Louis Vuitton, because of his colors and bags and the… colors of his bags, you know? Yeesh.

Afterwards, Jay gathers the girls for the results. Hood Rat exclaims that she had some champagne and some sex on the beach, which is SO Hood Rat. Love it. For critiques, Tinsley says that Jessica’s personality was great, Molly Ringworm’s style was great, and that Alasia was fidgety and nervous, and needs to think more before she talks. So who won? Why, it’s Jessica again, despite already having a guaranteed spot in the photoshoot due to her winning picture last week! She gets to pick two friends, and she immediately picks Eyebrows and Molly Ringworm. And least she’s guaranteed to look second-best or better in the picture…

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An outfit for the “tripping balls” body type…

After the shoot, Eyebrows gets in the confessional to tell us that Alasia is picking on Jessica because Alasia is immature, yadda yadda yadda. From what we’ve seen, Jessica’s actually started both of their fights this episode, NOT Alasia. Meanwhile, Alasia is perhaps proving Eyebrows correct as she eavesdrops outside the door and hears the whole thing. Alasia tells us that Eyebrows always insists that she doesn’t talk shit on anyone, and this proves that Eyebrows is totally fake. To me, I think there’s a difference though between talking shit to the other girls and talking shit in the confessional. Alasia waits for Eyebrows to come out, and when Eyebrows does, Eyebrows is originally startled but covers it with a bright smile and greeting. Okay, that part was fake. Alasia snorts with laughter and scoots into the confessional, and begins shouting at us about how fake Eyebrows is — as Eyebrows, Jessica and Molly Ringworm all eavesdrop outside the door and do mocking, offensive impressions of Alasia’s body language when she yells. See, this is why I’m more on Team Psycho than I am on Team Snotty — the hypocrisy and self-righteousness I feel that both Molly Ringworm and Eyebrows show. I’m also starting to dislike Jessica, because she seems to be quite the little instigator and then hides behind her innocent looks. Nooo, you were one of my favorites, Jessica! Come back! Let’s talk about banging Jesus or something! Afterwards, Eyebrows taunts Alasia that they heard her confessional, but Alasia tells us she won’t let those bitches shatter her confidence and she doesn’t care about them anyway.

Tyra Mail announces that they’re going underground, and the girls correctly guess that the shoot has to do with the subway. They arrive, and up rolls Mr. Jay and Bloody Eye Nicole, the winner of last year’s midget cycle! I always liked BEN, and she looks fantastic, in a bright blue dress that’s perfect with her orangey hair. This will be a CoverGirl shoot, and it takes place on a moving subway car. The girls go into hair and product placement makeup, and Hood Rat sits down with BEN to ask BEN how she survived the drama in the house. BEN advises that Hood Rat just try her best to avoid and stay out of the drama, while remaining classy. Molly Ringworm overhears the conversation, and runs immediately to Jessica to repeat it and shriek with laughter at the idea of Hood Rat being classy. Because you two are exhibiting pure class right now by being gossipy, petty little bitches.

Old Lady is first, and Jay tells us she looked gorgeous. Rachel McAdams’ expression shows that she’s still thinking about Tinsley Mortimer, and Jay instructs her to stop sneering. Fatty has surfaced from a 24 hour buffet long enough to do this photoshoot, and gotten so used to not taking time to breathe that she freezes lifelessly in her pictures. Eyebrows takes a page from Morticia’s failed playbook and puts her hand on her face in almost every shot, and Jessica totters around like a drunken sailor on the moving subway. Hood Rat, on the other hand, completely rocks it and Jay says it’s her best shoot to date. Molly Ringworm shows up to set looking like Betsy Ross and Where’s Waldo’s love child, and Jay tells us that there’s something about her that isn’t young and fresh. That’s called bitter, whiney bitch, Jay. However, Alasia might be even worse, as she can’t stop giggling long enough to focus, and Jay tells her that he doesn’t have a single good shot to show Tyra. Alasia cries, and Jay gently lectures her that she needs to be professional and remember that she’s there to do a job when she arrives on set. He then says that he DOES have a shot they got at the end, but time will only tell if that’s true or him taking pity on her.

At the house, Molly Ringworm is telling everyone that she feels confident (alarms ringing for anyone else?) and that she has the edgiest look in the house and she should get best picture. I’m sorry, but there is nothing edgy about some two-bit little girl from Texas with a weedwacker haircut. I mean, JESSICA is edgier than Molly Ringworm, for shit’s sake. Meanwhile, Alasia is super nervous about panel, and knows that she’s likely going to be in the bottom. Let’s hope that Molly Ringworm’s confidence is a red herring, and means that her ass is getting embarrassingly booted tonight.

Panel! Guest judge is The Schnoz, and Eyebrows is first. Overall, they like her photo but Tyra yells at her about elongating her neck, which really these girls SHOULD know by now, given how often that critique comes up.

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“Sorry, I strained it while eavesdropping like a big ol’ hypocrite. “

According to the panel, Old Lady looks fresh and totally CoverGirl, and until Molly Ringworm’s ass is gone, she will escape being told she looks old.

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“This is just like the dress I wore to my debutante ball in 1954!”

Jessica’s shoes are skanky according to the panel, and she defends them quite passionately, which is never a good call. Never talk back! I don’t think the shoes are that bad, but I agree they don’t match her sweet top and skirt. The panel unanimously finds that Jessica looks lost and confused in her photo. Andre also says she looks like a snotty little bitch, which is amusing given everything that’s going on in the house.

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“Speaking of lost, have you seen my left nipple? Seriously, how am I going to tell any guys to lick it if I can’t find it?”

I hate Molly Ringworm’s picture, as I expected. The judges think that it lacks energy, looks contrived, and is mannequin-like. Nigel also notes that she cannot take a decent picture looking straight to camera. Surprisingly, there are no comments about her looking like the tired old hag that she is.

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Dear cruel wardrobe madam: I love you. Kisses, LoLo.

Alasia’s picture is not nearly as bad as I would have guessed, but it’s not good either. They compare the blankness of this week’s photo to the dance photo from week 3, and lecture her on failing to capture that same energy this week. Alasia admits that she didn’t put any thought or emotion into the picture, and Andre tells her while he would have considering hiring bare-assed Alasia, he wouldn’t hire subway Alasia.

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“If that’s the case, someone help me out of these pants.”

I really like Rachel McAdams’ picture, for I find it sassy and interesting to look at. The judges agree, which surprises me because it’s definitely not typical CoverGirl nauseating perkiness.

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“I’m appealing to the angry bitch CoverGirl market.”

As for Fatty, I think she looks mentally retarded. Literally. There’s something wonky about her right eye, like it’s going a different direction than the left. The more I’m staring at it, the more I’m convinced that this belongs in a brochure for a “special” school for girls. Not to mention, she’s doing that same lean-back pose that Nigel criticized her last week for doing each shoot. No mention of that this week! The judges somehow LOVE the picture, and say it’s her best yet. Uh, sure.

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“Too… many… nitrates… in… DoubleDown… urrrgh…”

Hood Rat is last, and her picture is amazing! I absolutely love it, and the judges are blown away as well. Andre makes an idiotic comment about how the picture shows that Hood Rat’s personality is great, and Nigel notices Team Snotty and some of the other girls instantly react negatively. Nigel informs Hood Rat of the reaction behind her, and she says that she’s gots some haters cuz she’s keepin’ her shit real, you knowwa she’s sayin’? Andre says that he can tell that she is real, and he likes it, while Nigel cautions the other girls to look out for Hood Rat.

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“Yous heard him. Dem bitches better watch my educated ass ‘fores I go all hood on them. I knock dem bitches back to dat pre school shit.”

Deliberations. Eyebrows is beautiful but plays it safe. Old Lady is confident and radiant. Jessica’s picture is amateur, and she was combative when her shoes were criticized, indicating that she’s becoming a know-it-all. Molly Ringworm cannot look straight at camera, and doesn’t have an “it” factor. Alasia lacks confidence, and might not be catching on as fast as others. Rachel McAdams looks great, but isn’t necessarily selling CoverGirl. Fatty will definitely sell makeup. Nigel and Andre are going to cum all over Hood Rat’s picture, they love it so much. Based on all that, I’m predicting — and hoping — Hood Rat as the winner with Old Lady as the runner up, then Jessica as the last safe girl with Molly Ringworm going home over Alasia.

And the order is: Hood Rat, Old Lady, Eyebrows, Fatty, Rachel McAdams and Jessica. Spot-on so far. As Tyra gives Jessica her picture, Tyra informs Jessica that she was called so late because the judges were really turned off by her attitude at panel, to the point that they wouldn’t want to hire her or even be around her. Maybe this little bitch slap will help Jessica return to the girl I was rooting for. Molly Ringworm and Alasia are in the bottom two. Molly Ringworm is there because she lacks fire and desire, and her photos are only decent. Alasia is there because she disregarded the judges’ instructions to embrace dance in her shoots. Am I missing something here? I know that she had a great photo that week, but I definitely don’t remember the judges telling Alasia — or Alasia ever deciding — that dance was her motivation or her thing. Consider me lost on that one. And going home is…. Molly Ringworm! YESSSS!

Afterwards, Team Snotty is stunned and Team Psycho is quietly happy while Tyra instructs Alasia to keep invoking dance (???) in her photos, and instructs Molly Ringworm to continue working the short hair and show fire in her eyes when she goes on go-sees. You know that bitch is dumping a bottle of Miracle Grow on her head as soon as she finds a hardware store. Back at the apartment, Molly Ringworm packs and tells us that she’s shocked that she’s going home, and is especially shocked that Hood Rat won best photo — but that it makes sense because Hood Rat is pretty snotty, so that picture came naturally to her. AGGGH HATE HATE HATE GET OFF MY SCREEN YOU FUCKING BITCH!

/end_rage. So what did you think of this episode? Was Molly Ringworm the right one to eliminate? Did you love Hood Rat’s photo as much as the judges and I did? Are you disappointed or surprised by Jessica’s behavior this week? And are you on Team Snotty or Team Psycho?

See you next time!

About

A former newspaper reporter turned grad school refugee, LoLo joined the staff of TVGasm back in 2007 when she realized that writing recaps was a much more entertaining use of her time than studying.  Now a member of one of the most hated professions in the world, LoLo continues to mock TV when she's not chasing ambulances and sending her card to couples in the wedding announcements section of the Chicago Tribune.  LoLo then spends the rest of her time drinking, eating, and then busting ass at the gym to reverse the damage (it's a losing battle).

30 Comments

  1. 1
    waffleboy09
    Posted April 17, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    “…your Mikes Hard Lemonade-conceived spawn…”

    That is the most awesomely mean thing I’ve read in a long, long time, thank you so very, very much. The whole recap was great but that was fudge covered wonderful.

  2. 2
    cattyfan
    Posted April 17, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    Lolo…your recap is just what I needed after an especially bad day. Thank you. (Usually my posts are full of opinions and a dose of snark. None of that here. Just a sincere note of appreciation.)

  3. 3
    hostile7teen
    Posted April 17, 2010 at 5:05 pm

    I LOVE your Hoodrat captions. They make me LOL EVERY time.

    At first I didn’t mind Molly as much as, you but I was hoping she would go when watching this episode. I am glad she’s gone.

    I am still rooting or Eyebrows. I really dig her look. I also really liked Jessica before this. Not so much after this episode. She was getting too cocky.

    I guess I’m TEAM EYEBROWS? haha.

    I don’t like Hood Rat’s personality at all but she’s taken some of the strongest photos this season. So far she’s the one to beat.

    I still want her on the comp, though.

  4. 4
    georgiababe
    Posted April 17, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    I’m on Team Snotty, specifically because I haven’t been able to stand Alasia since day one. I find her immature and totally annoying and I think that she has some serious anger management issues – like she SCREAMS at people about how they should give her respect. Ridiculous.

    I am voting for Raina and Jessica and Alexandra. I don’t care about the rest.

  5. 5
    sara_shark
    Posted April 17, 2010 at 5:57 pm

    Great recap…

    I have to side with Team Snotty on this one simply because I am fundamentally opposed to Hood Rat. It enrages me that personality is allegedly such a big part of this competition, but the behavior of the “ladies” outside of panel is not considered.

    Also, and I am going to have to check wikipedia one this, but it seems like each cycle alternates between someone who is ghetto and someone who is more dignified. I don’t get it.

    I am with you on being disapointed in Jessica’s snottiness. I was firmly predicting Jessica and Eyebrows for the final two – and I still hope that happens. I DESPISE Brenda and Hood Rat. Krista perplexes me because she looks so old to me, and Alasia while beautiful is just too immature for this.

    Go lawyers!

  6. 6
    cattyfan
    Posted April 17, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    Okay…one opinion. Rachel McAdams’ picture looks very Drew Barrymore.

  7. 7
    juddfan
    Posted April 17, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    Hilarious, Lolo!!! Love the lemonade comment–genius!!! As always, love Hood Rat’s captions, call me crazy, but she cracks me up!!!

    I thought Molly smacked of “racial” too. I know they included Rachel in the group, but I seem to recall her getting into it with Alashia too. I don’t like it when they split along racial lines . . . oh the humanity!

    I know people find Alashia irritating, but I suspect she had a screamer at home always giving it too her. It may take her a while to move away from that behavior. Guess I’ve had too much therapy, coz it makes me more sad than angry when she goes off. I’m not saying she’s not off the hinge, just making lemonade . . . and I love her skin and look in the pics.

    This week was Old ladys for me, that pic was gorg!!! Looked good enough for the final three shot–glowing and sweet without pandering at all.

    Hood’s was okay, but I’m glad she won just to stick it to the grrrls!

    Rachel was my next fave, I so agree on Fatty, WTF were they smoking, and I didn’t think Alashia’s was that bad.

    Glad Molly’s gone, but I feel sorry for her that they chopped all her hair off!

  8. 8
    missy2sweet
    Posted April 17, 2010 at 7:56 pm

    I’m going to have to go with team psycho. At least they don’t try to belittle the others girls or do and say things that can be construed as racist. I bet outside of ANTM they would not have the nerve to call a person of color uneducated to their faces, or to be condescending in general. They way they were doing “yo yo yo” arms while Alasia was in her confessional was disgusting. And Molly freaking out when Hood Rat of all people was calm and rational was nuts. Also did not like the way Jessica talked about not liking Alasia as if she was insignificant. Just because she chose to draw instead of participate in your conversations about who you don’t get along with is no reason to be disrespectful.

  9. 9
    loopygorilla
    Posted April 17, 2010 at 9:07 pm

    TY lolo :) fast recaps, i always look forward to it.

    i think they are all as bad as each other regardless of what team they are.

    having said that, at least with hood rat, you knew from the start she was here for drama.

    as for jessica, i knew from episode there was a she-devil in disguise, and i loved it. Please, girls that pretty no matter if they loved jesus or not, they are always MEAN! come on people, mean girls? you can be that pretty and be nice too.
    she-devil jessica is a model and thats it.

    i guess the difference is that hood rat we knew all along she wasnt “here to make friends” where as the others, they are nice to you then STAB STAB behind you.

    and ugh molly’s comment about being uneducated really pisses me off. it is soo racist to think that just because people of different color are uneducated. im not speaking for hood rat, but for me.. i can switch on and off, by trade im a finance journo (having the time of my life during GFC), but i dont rub it in people’s faces about my edu-ma-cation mmmkay…

    and if molly was such a classy lady, she should have kept her legs crossed and maybe thought about protection instead of getting knocked up the first time she hooked up with somebody…mmkay, but im not judging :)
    same goes for jessica.

    as for raina, she is sorta caught in the middle of it, i think… but you never know with clever tyra editing lol

    but besides all that, imagine yourself locked in a house with 12 girls for 12 weeks – no tv, newspaper or anything to do with cameras in your face 24/7. i would go nutty and start looking at things to do to entertain myself.

    a friend of mine was in project runaway and was in top 6 awhile back and she told me, when they werent doing challenges, it was like 1-2 days at the apartment without anything to do and you start to go crazy.

    anyway to the show. omg the WORST photoshoot ever?! i didnt like any of them, they were horrible the concept was shit.
    if they wanted to potray new york women, why dont they shoot at a nice location to go with each theme.
    lol and brenda’s outfit, that was just cruel.
    jessica’s photoshop chest ewww.
    raina was pretty but i cant shake the denise richards vibe.
    brenda meh.
    hood rat love her but not the pic.
    fatty alex, its the SAME POSE AGAIN! girl cant you do something else? please?
    mcadams, worst outfit next to the brenda..she looks old too.
    and jessica, girl learn from antm c1-13, never QUESTION the judges. lol

  10. 10
    loopygorilla
    Posted April 17, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    BTW new yorkers :) aahs is bringin some aussie love to new york in June…
    any recommendations of things i can do during my break???

  11. 11
    cattyfan
    Posted April 17, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    I have to defend Molly for a minute. Several of you have made comments along these line, “it is soo racist to think that just because people of different color are uneducated.”

    The accusation that Hoodrat is uneducated and ignorant has nothing to do with her color or race. It’s how she presents herself and the horrible things she does to the English language. Playing the race card I believe is out of line on this one. And speaking in such a way that indicates a basic understanding of language is not “rubbing people’s faces” in your education.

  12. 12
    loopygorilla
    Posted April 17, 2010 at 11:46 pm

    you are probably right, she might not have meant it in a racist way, but clearly to some people it could be misconstrued. :) i also think the english language is not what it used 2 be with the advent of txt msging and chatting on da internet and such.
    and people do come up with words like trippin, player hater etc and etc… i dont know many of those of slangs, but doesnt suggest that they an undereducated. i think brenda should have said to angelea that she was immature and a pain the ass who wants to stir up trouble rather than say she was uneducated, because that is hitting real low there.
    i guess when it comes down to it, all im saying is..dont judge a book by its cover.
    and im not caucasian and sometimes when people talk to me for the first time they always talk real loud, slow and do gesture with their hands…im not saying they are racists but we are all guilty of judging someone by the way they look.
    but in this case, its the case hood rat speaks, we might not agree with the way she speaks but that doesnt give us the automatic right to say “you are uneducated”.
    besides if you look at jamie oliver, the chef, he actually toned down and changed his english accent to cockney english.
    jamie oliver, before he was famous, spoke the queens english because he was educated at Eton, one of the finest schools in the world founded by a british monarch.

  13. 13
    loopygorilla
    Posted April 17, 2010 at 11:50 pm

    and alot of people have said, oohhh i cant stand jamie oliver… he is so common.
    but what many people dont know is that he is in fact very well educated, perhaps more educated than alot of us :P lol
    so i guess when people have said that, they didnt mean in a racist connotation.
    so perhaps ill give brenda the benefit of the doubt.

  14. 14
    itchy
    Posted April 18, 2010 at 1:23 am

    I kind of liked Eyebrows reaction to the whole getting screamed at thing — just the way she smiled at it. And she’s definitely got the most unusual look of all the girls.

    And I like the slutty jesus girl a lot — her looks, but I like how she lets herself get carried away with the enthusiasm, which of course it going to get her in trouble now and then.

    Isn’t Hood Rat is mixed race? Regardless, anyone who mangles the English language to that extent sounds like an uneducated idiot. She’s being disingenuous — either she thinks it’s cool to sound like a blaxploitation movie, in which case she shouldn’t complain about people treating her like a ignorant slut (not to mention her whole aggressive attitude toward people in general), or she should just speak proper English.

    Aphasia.. she’s just annoying — like that stupid face she was making when Tyra handed her photo. There’s no way she could ever be a model with that hair-trigger of hers anyway.

    It’s interesting that they pretty much ignore half the girls there, like the fatty, the older girl, and the other one with the kid.

  15. 15
    slutty_whore
    Posted April 18, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    I’m going to defend Alasia on one point: when in the room with Raina and Jessica, it was Jessica who made a rude comment towards Alasia, when Raina was in confessional, Alasia rightly pointed out that she didn’t say anything to her face that she ranted about in confessional, and Alasia took it all personally and it had a negative effect on her picture. It was pretty clear Brenda was going home- she had one squinty-eyed look and she was unattractive and had a horrible personality.

    As far as Hood Rat’s “mangling of the English language,” I personally believe she is trying to retain some of her credibility from where she came from, and trying to be a better person for the future. I think she has consistently good pictures, but Jessica is the challenge queen and Alasia herself has best picture two weeks in a row.

    It was great to see shorty Nicole.

  16. 16
    ohralphie
    Posted April 18, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    I don’t care for either team, actually. Bible Slut and Old Lady have the best looks and bodies for modeling imo – but still this seems to be the season of Fug.

    In the earlier seasons of ANTM Tyra would at least pretend to prepare these girls for an actual career in modeling. I recall her telling one model (can’t remember the season, but she did end up winning it) with an incredibly thick Southern accent that she had to learn to ennunciate or would risk never getting booked. I would think the same would hold true for Hood Rat and Alasias tendency to be as ‘ghetto’ as humanly possibly. They will never get booked for anything with the way the speak and the way the carry themselves. What would happen if Alasia lost her temper at an open casting? What would happen if Angelea started talking ‘real’ to a designer? Let’s face it…..they would never be allowed in the door. Modeling is all about image – to pretend that the way Angelea and Alasia speak and act doesn’t or shouldn’t matter is doing those girls a massive disservice. I know that this show is all about feeding Tyras ego – but here she has a chance to actually give some girls directions and better career advice then to rememebering to smize. After all – how does Tyra, Mr. Jay, Ms. Jay and new judge Leon speak? Have they ever threatened to ‘beat someone up’? I doubt it.

  17. 17
    loopygorilla
    Posted April 18, 2010 at 6:52 pm

    I agree slutty.

    i think dani was also told the same thing by tyra & co & dani did change and has had somewhat of a succesful career.

    but at the end of the day, tyra keeps harping on about personality and i just dont get it.

    do you see kate moss talking or naomi? nooo, in fact moss loves to powder her nose and the fashion industry still hires her to be face of etc etc.

    models are models, the spokesperson roles are for celebrities like scarjo, drew barrymore to do.

    the only time, a model has spoken recently in an ad was flora by gucci, and the australian 16 yr old model.. she pranced around some sunflower field and her line in the ENTIRE 30 sec ad, was “Flora by gucci”

    and that is why i think jessica should win, not only because i love “lets bang jesus” girl but she has the looks and body to be a model. im not worried that she is a tad bitchy lol.

    mcadams is bland. hood rat is there for drama. fatty is another whitney. old lady might be able to model for like a 40-yr old plus label. raina is sorta like analeigh – she takes good pictures but they will cut her eventually with a poor excuse. alasia is pretty but i dont know, besides at the end of the call she was soo emotional and throwing her fist around i thought she might accidentally hit tyra.

  18. 18
    georgiababe
    Posted April 19, 2010 at 12:11 am

    I think Tyra stopped giving useful advice after the season where Danielle won – the girl with the really thick southern accent.

    I mean, Jaslene won and Tyra never said a peep about HER accent – even though I could understand Danielle a hell of a lot better than Jaslene. I still can’t figure out what Jaslene says – those “My Life as a Covergirl” commercials were just awful.

  19. 19
    juddfan
    Posted April 19, 2010 at 9:52 am

    I loves me a good debate!!! Just to qualify, I didn’t just think it was the uneducated bit–it was her condescending attitude in general. Maybe Brenda was just a snob, but as I said, it smacked of “racial” to me.

    I’s got tsa say, I love ghetto talk!!! I find it funny when “educated” people look down on ghetto, and then start saying bling, or no she diiin’t -etc. I certainly use them, with varying success. I know I’ve got a vocabulary that’s rich enough to occasionally get some head rubs, but I like to speak as colorfully as possible–whatever feels right at the moment. I also sometimes like to pull out the boston accent, or add more ay like a new yorker. Trust me, it’s all lame, but IMHO, it’s a lot more fun than speaking correctly all the time.

    I also agree that language is having a bit of a redo. Txting, 4 sure (and maybe even Prince lyrics, LOL) Just that fact that we have a somewhat universal all cap language tells me something about evolution . . . we all seem to need less words and letters to get points across (well, everyone except me–I’m as verbose as they come!)

    Forgot to say how great it was to see BEN. Don’t know she’s not doing covergirl commercials. That was the most convincing spiel I’ve heard any of the returning champs do.

  20. 20
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted April 19, 2010 at 11:31 am

    I’ve never liked alasia this season, but I have to defend her this episode. Team Snotty behaved like a bunch of a-holes. Yes, she responded loudly, but she didn’t start it. Things would have been fine if they hadn’t shown their snotty asses. Or as Hood Rat would say, don’t start none, won’t be none. :p

    Speaking of Hood Rat, I find myself liking her. I normally don’t root for the really ghetto girls because they are often the drama queens or drama starters. Yes, she brings some drama, but I feel like her attitude and speech is her trying to “keep it real.” She isn’t trying to be anyone that she isn’t. She is just trying to better her life.

    Loved seeing BEN. She looked fantastic. What a class act!

    What was up with slutty bible girl’s chest?! It looked like a boy in drag!

    Thanks for a great recap!

  21. 21
    Baxter
    Posted April 19, 2010 at 11:44 am

    This season hit the skids for me. I think Eyebrows has the most interesting look and Jessica is beautiful but more cheerleader beauty then model. The rest I wouldn’t look at twice on the street.

  22. 22
    soft flesh
    Posted April 19, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    how can ppl defend Hood Rat and Alasia? I mean, weren’t these two ppl the same chicas week after week talking shit & screaming at other ppl?Then for a change, jessica and her crew get annoyed( as any even-tempered human being would after so many times of drama) and finally put those nasty girls in their place & Jess & Brenda are considered snotty? Hood Rat uses cuss words instead of actual words to explain herself -that is someone who’s uneducated! Brenda was not being condescending/snobbish! Hood Rat calls other ppl b****es and tells them off, and when Alasia threatens to beat up other girls, how are any of Brenda’s comments untrue?So Hoodrat can be loud, dumb, and annoying and its just her being ‘real’ yet when Jessica is somewhat loud, annoying and dumb she’s snobbish? Its views like that that are discrimination:girls like Jessica or Brenda have higher expectations than
    someone like Angelea or Alasia. C’mon, Hood Rat & Andre’s Pet are just classless. Hood Rat has
    such anger issues it’s even embarrassing for ANTM. There’s no way that Angelea is going to win considering that young girls are supposed to look up to the winner.
    PS Why were Tyra & Andre so harsh on Jess’s outfit? I mean, Andre was wearing a cape afterall!

  23. 23
    ohralphie
    Posted April 19, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    Just to clarify — I’m in no way defending or justifying Team Snooty bitches at all. The ‘uneducated’ comment was definately hitting below the belt, and an odd choice since ‘cunt’ ‘asshole’ and ‘bitch’ would have been much more accurate.

    Again, my problem with Team Ghetto is that Tyra is setting these girls up for a fall. There is no way in hell those girls could show up at a casting with their current attitudes. Alasia was working her jaw the entire time Tyra was critiquing her performance — then Alasia cries and talks in a baby voice once she was safe. If Brenda had been safe instead of her would she have called Tyra a bitch? Threaten to beat her up? I’d love to see that! But for Alasias future Tyra should explain to her the proper way to receive criticism and how to get along with a lot of girls.

    All a moot point since none in this batch will become an actual working model…..but still..

  24. 24
    loopygorilla
    Posted April 20, 2010 at 12:05 am

    Do yal think this really the worst season ever? you guys dont think these girls will get any work at all? LOL

    but raina was signed with an agency before she joined this show.

    the thing about alasia is, its weird if you have noticed. she is all bubbly but when she gets critique the girl starts the waterworks.

    nude shoot, nigel comment she started crying. this shoot, jays comment that he cant find a good shot, crying.

    and notice how they have said anything to her? but in the past cycles, tyra would tell the girl to take criticism, because the fashion world is ALOT more harsh and cruel than the judges.

    if she ever scored a campaign for karl lagerfeld i dont think he will go easy if he dislike the photos. clients are paying $$ and if you cant bring it and they criticise you, you cant cry!!

    and i feel ALT is a dissapointment as a judge. he is from vogue darrrlingg but he hasnt offered any worthy advice besides some words he is trying to make happen.

    and all this drama made me overlook the love of my life. the ann shokett! the Schnoz!!!

    i wonder what is was like to have the editor in chief of 17 in the same room as editor at large of vogue??? because i dont think ALT would have interacted with her at all because coming from vogue, he would have being very snobby.

  25. 25
    User Name
    Posted April 20, 2010 at 7:03 am

    Does anyone remember in earlier cycles on ANTM when the girls were given a “test” when they went to panel? I kinda miss that…

  26. 26
    LisaMay
    Posted April 20, 2010 at 7:58 am

    Thank you soft flesh, your comments were spot on.

    and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually agree with itchy.

  27. 27
    kdognatl
    Posted April 20, 2010 at 8:10 am

    Soft Flesh, you said it best to me. I can not stand hood rat. She is ghetto, and I HATE the “keeping it real” line. My bf says it all the time and I say we all know what happens when keeping it real goes wrong (Dave Chappelle, love that dude, lol). I, like other posters have said, can turn on the ghetto or even the southern twang given the situation or the company. But for the most part and especially at work, around my colleagues and clients, I am very professional. Aren’t they technically “at work”

    My fave is still Raina and I actually like Jessica. Maybe I need to re-watch the episode, but nothing they said or did offended me or came off as racist, to me. I am sorry, but I do not think Alasia is pretty at all. I work in Marietta, so I am always on the look out for her, lol. I was happy to see Molly go. I did not like her look from episode 1 and couldn’t understand why she was there. Oh yah, and I forgot fatty was still in this competition.

  28. 28
    LisaMay
    Posted April 20, 2010 at 9:42 am

    love your recaps LoLo, and your nicknames for the girls are hilarious.

  29. 29
    loopygorilla
    Posted April 20, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    OMG LoLo, this week on top model we finally find out what happened with all of tyra’s weaves!!!

    its tyra’s weaves meets cousin IT photo shoot.

  30. 30
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted April 21, 2010 at 4:38 am

    Soft flesh, sorry to burst your bubble, but cursing does not equal uneducated. I curse. I also have three degrees and a high level job. I am not ghetto. I am not uneducated. And given how many people on this site who use the words fuck and bitches quite regularly, and yet seem to speak in an educated gramatically correct manner, I’d say I am not alone.

    Sorry, but that just hit a nerve with me. So fuck off, bitches. (that last part was a joke)

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