Never Mind the Bollocks

America's Next Top Model

By admin | Saturday, November 19, 2005 | 7:00 pm | 73 Comments

topmodel11-16-05b America’s Next Top Model has given us a lot of interesting moments this year. For example, if I had said that Steve-O and Chris Pontius and Jason Acuna would be on a television show with some models and that somebody would have pissed themselves in an adult diaper, who would have thought it would be one of the models? Tyra had one of the best reality moments of the year when she went off on Tiffany, but nearly equaled it when she eliminated both Jayla and Nicole, bringing them to tears, only to say it was all a joke, that none of them were eliminated and everybody was going to London. I for one wouldn’t mind having a squiz at any of these fit birds or having them give me a good toss. Well, except for maybe Kim; her cods might be bigger than mine.We usually open up the episode with the girls talking about their dearly departeds, but this time there was nobody to mourn. That does not mean that the girls weren’t affected, because Jayla and Nicole were steel feeling the sting of one of the more brilliant (or cruel, depending on your point of view) fakeouts in ANTM history. I have to say how much I loved the way Tyra handled the situation. She had just eliminated these girls from a competition that has taken weeks from their lives. The judges had just finished making a decision that would perhaps completely destroy the dreams of one or both of the girls. What does Tyra do? Dance around with the Union Jack, of course, and laugh your ass off when it comes time for editing.

The next day, the girls met Jenny Shimizu who represents several unique parts of modeling being 5’7″ (ie short), a minority, covered in tattoos, and a lesbian. She was discovered by Calvin Klein while she was riding a motorcycle, and she had a lot of great advice for the girls, but she wanted to focus on how being an individual is not a detriment to your modeling career. Jenny (does she go by Jenny or Shimizu?) said that it was the differences in modeling that makes things beautiful. The whole segment might as well have been a personal note to Kim. As soon as she heard that Jenny was a lesbian, Kim started to pay attention, asking her questions like how to make things feminie, even when you might consider yourself a tomboy. I really don’t think Kim’s problem is that she is a tomboy. The problem is that face of hers. Like my sister said when she called today (she was upset I hadn’t posted this in time), the girl has no bone structure. If I had just finished watching six hours of girls softball, I might think that Kim is attractive, but I couldn’t see her being Dairy Queen (or at Wesleyan, Soy Milk Queen) let alone winning Top Model.

topmodel11-16-05a Ms. Shimizu was nice, but I don’t think a lot of the girl got a lot out of the encounter besides Kim, for the obvious reasons, and Lisa, who, as always, enjoyed telling people that she recognized the model as soon as she walked in the door. Soon after the girls were told they were going to meet ghosts from their pasts, which, to my dissappointment, was not the sequeal to the best Brendan Frasier/Christopher Walken/ Sissy Spacek comedy vehicle from the late 90s. Instead, they got to meet Kevin Frazier, who some of you may recognize from various ESPN NBA gigs, but who is more recently known for his work as a correspondent for Entertinment Tonight.

Mr. Frazier introduces the ghosts from the past, which turn out to be pictures of the girls themselves. During the final weeks of ANTM, it becomes more and more important for the girls to not only demonstrate model ability and skill in their photographs, but in their everyday appearance. Kevin emphasized that their will be cameras on them all of the time, and they have to be aware of them all of the time. It’s almost as if their lives were being recorded and would be broadcast all over the world where people would watch them laugh, cry, and backstab each other just because they wanted to amuse themsevles. Who would do that sort of thing? Now there was great potential to show lots of embarrassing pictrues of everybody, but I thought they could have done more. Oh look, Lisa is making a fool of herself! Never imagined that would happen!

At this point in the episode, I am a little bored. OK, we had an asian lesbian. OK, we had an entertainment correspondent. But overall, I thought it could be better. It was fine hearing about Jenny Shimizu, but Kevin Frazier was about as exciting as listening to Ed Bradley give a lecture on grooming your schnauzer. What is the point of all of this? Lisa had been complaining that there was too much lollygagging in Los Angeles and not enough flying to London, and I am one to agree, and not just because a move to England will let me make a bunch of Monty Python jokes. Once the models move out of their original digs, they start to get even more competitive. Emotions run high, and just when everybody needs the support of their roommates more than ever, the fighting and the backstabbing come in full force. It’s a wonderful thing.

I think a lot of the girls were looking for a change of scenery. There are always going to be fights and factions in the house, but it has seemed like everybody in the house is either pro or anti-Lisa. In that pro Lisa camp is Lisa, and in the anti-lisa camp is everybody else. I like Lisa, and although I think she went a little too far last week in her quest to grab attention, she has personality. Besides, I think that most of the anti-Lisa crowd is actually more jealous because she has been taking great pictures. Her crazy behavior makes it easy to make her a scapegoat and not feel bad about it.

Another reason I think that Lisa is getting a bad rap is that I think there are other people in the house causing drama as well, and one of those people was Kim. Kim seems to be a girl that a lot of people like, but she likes to talk about people behind their backs. She picks one person to be her best friend, and then she gets together with them and talks shit about the others. The last time we had an elimination, that friend was Kyle and she said that they were the only two sane people left in the house. With Kyle out of the house, Nicole moves into position to be Kim’s sloppy thirds, and they get right to work talking about the others. Nik is too boring, Lisa is an alcoholic, but Jayla gets the worst. Jayla is called ugly, annoying, and a bad joke deliverer, and if it’s one thing that potential models can’t stand is bad comedic timing, so for Jayla to be called the Colin Quinn of ANTM 5 really hurts.

People have started getting wise to Kim’s antics. You think Lisa’s attention grabbing stunts were desperate? Kim starts playing harmonica to show Nicole how much she would have missed her if she left? And likewise, how much she would have been happy if Jayla was eliminated. Was anybody else thinking it was strange that Kim was playing the harmonica? I mean, I guess it helps you with your tongue dexterity, but couldn’t she just tie knots with cherry stems like the rest of us? Jayla hasn’t gone out of her way to be nice to people, but other than her incident with Nik, she seems to be trying to get along with other people. True, she might have things to say about the competition, but she isn’t badmouthing the girls to other roomates all the time, a practice Kim has turned into an art form.

Jayla was telling Bre that she knows that a lot of people say thing about her, but it is always started by Kim; others add things to be funny. Bre says that she knows exactly what Jayla is talking about and says that she is afraid that if she leaves a room, Kim will start talking about her, summing it up by saying “That bitch ain’t right!” and wagging her finger in disapproval. It’s true that Kim talked behind people’s backs or when they leave the room, but Kim doesn’t even have to go that far. While Nik is talking on the phone with her friend Visa (she had already spoken to Master Card and learned that Diner’s Club was having a baby), Kim picked up the phone and after telling Visa that she’s the gayest person in the house, but she won’t take American Express, she said that Nik acted like her mouth was stapled shut, that she is careful, and she’s afraid of people. Yeah, why would Nik be careful talking to people? It’s not like other people are talking about her behind her back, right Kim? Why should she be afraid of girls in the house, it’s not like they are going to embarrass her in front of her friends from back home!

topmodel11-16-05c As I said before, Lisa was going a little stir crazy for London and the time finally came for everybody to pack up their things, leave their house in the hills, and bone up on the House of Windsor (King Ralph anyone?) before their flight. Still, there is always time for one more fierce photo, so the girls went downtown to get their passport pictures taken. Since the theme this week is looking like a model at all times, we weren’t surprised to hear that the passport photographer was an actual fashoin photographer named Mark Anderson. Mark judged the girls on their photos, and the girl who won, which turned out to be Bre with a very simple photo with her hair pulled back, was going to get a reward once in the UK. Personally, I thought Nicole looked the best, but that’s why I blog about this show and only pretend to know anything that I am talking about.

Before going on their way, all of the girls got to watch a message from their friends or family. The message was delivered via cell phone video in a quite unfortunate product placement, but even a postage stamp size reminder that your family still loves you or your boyfriend hasn’t broken up with you is plenty. While they were in the limo, Kim overhears Bre and Kim talking about her. And you know what they say, nobody should talk badly about others unless it is Kim and she is funny, so Kim goes over there and says that she wants to have a few words about them.

I know there are a lot of Kim fans out there, but you had to realize that as soon as she decided to get into the ring with Bre, the result wasn’t going to be in question. I am sure that if the debate was about something like the effects of Christian symbolism on post-Incan familial structures, well, everybody would be bored out of their minds, but Kim with all of that learnin’ and readin’ that she does would have a chance. If Kim was trying to convince Bre that she wasn’t a backstabbing bitch, she wasn’t going to get a free pass. Right away Bre said that Kim’s character is very ugly (as ugly as that bloated face of hers).

Kim soon saw that she wasn’t going to win, and the only way she was going to get out of this alive was to make excuses about why she did it. You know, she didn’t do it on purpose, she was only trying to be funny, etc., but Bre and Nik were not letting Kim deny it all happened. Honestly, Kim really didn’t have much of an argument. In the segment with Kevin Frazier, the cameras caught Kim imitating Tyra, so nobody was safe from Kim’s ridicule, even the woman trying to change her life. Nik told her that she did it all on purpose, and gave an example of when she made fun of Jayla. Up until that time, Jayla had been quiet, but after Kim was confronted with what she said about Jayla, Jayla started crying saying how she liked Kim from the first day and felt so betrayed. With everybody piling onto her, it was long before Kim started crying, but Nicole did come to her defense, saying that everybody talked about everybody, wo why pick on Kim. And if there is anything that you learn as a kid “Everybody’s doing it” is not much of an excuse. Well, if everybody told you to jump off a bridge, would you still do it Nicole? No? Well, if they told you that you should at least get rid of that hair on your upper lip, would you do that? Good.

After those exchanges, it looked like Kim realized people didn’t like her behavior. She insisted that she never made fun of Bre, but when Bre said she didn’t care, and that it was only a matter of time before it happened, Kim continued with her crying. Bre, who is great at the social manipulation herself, then comforts Kim. You break them down, then build them back up, and Kim will think twice before ever talking abour Bre. As for Bre, she thought that all of Kim’s tears were fake, and she was going to keep her enemies closer. I am not sure if Kim’s tears were fake, but I would say that they were more for people to have sympathy for her, because I don’t see her actually caring that anybody in the house is her friend or not when it’s all over. Jayla has said the same thing, but at least she admitted it.

The girls made it to London, and Miss. J was there to greet them, proudly wearing her “Naomi Hit Me” shirt. Now the joke about this is that Naomi was sued by an ex-assistant for a bunch of things ex-assistants sue for, including being slapped and beaten with a Blackberry. Speaking of which, there has to be some strange sexual act called the Blackberry. Hopefully EdHill will read this and let me know what it is. Anyway, Naomi was seen with a shirt on in New York that said “Naomi Hit Me” with “And I loved it” on the back. Miss J’s shirt said “and I hit the bitch back” on the rear. If Tyra wasn’t planning on reconciling with Naomi this week on her talk show, it would have been much more effective.

When they get to their hotel, the papparazi are waiting for them. They were all photographers that worked for the show, but they simulated the situation very well. I remember my first run in with the paparazzi. I was at LAX to pick up B-side as he returned from one of his jaunts to New York when I saw a bunch of photographers chasing this tall blonde woman. I was too retarded to realize that it was Gwyneth Paltrow at the time, but I did feel bad for her. It’s kind of annoying when you are just trying to get your baggage and ten people are following you. I assure you, any sympathy I had was gone by the time she named her kid Apple.

Once in their hotel, Bre learned that she was going to have a nice evening on the town in London. she picked Nik to go with her and soon they were whisked around in the town by a bunch of gentlemen in a carriage. For these two urban beauties, it was quite a breathtaking event, and not just because the carriage was driving on the wrong side of the road. No, their escorts weren’t doing things like the girls were used to being treated back home. Instead of saying “Bitch, where’s my money” and backhadning them with a diamond ring, the guys would hold the door open before Nik and Bre entered. Instead of honking at them and telling them how phat their asses were, thew would pull a chair out before they were seated. When dinner was a fancy restaurant and wine instead of a bucket of KFC, some biscuits and a case of Old English, the two of them knew they were on to something. Maybe there was more to life than being a baby momma. If they were a top model, they would find guys to treat them like that all the time, and not just after they won the trifecta at the Aqueduct.

Overall, these guys were boring, but at least we got to hear them say Piccadilly Circus

The evening on the town was too short, and when the two of them returned, Nik found that Kim had written letters of apology. Kim had said that the vibe around the hosue had abeen a lot better, but in order to do a little ass kissing, she decided to write personal apology notes. There are plenty of situations where apology notes might be the right idea. Sorry I ran over your dog, sorry I slept with your wife, sorry I closed the oven door on your arm while you were making shrinky dinks (much funnier when it hasn’t happened to you). Kim’s apology, while a nice gesture, wasn’t going to be worth anything because Nik and Bre have named her the enemy, and they are more concerned about winning than making a new friend.

For their first photo shoot in London, the girls were told “It’s your call”. Hmm, would they be dressing up like phone sex operators? Sadly, no, they were just going to have their pictures taken while they were in a phone booth, but they would be naked, so I was still happy. The theme was that the paparazzi had found them backstage at a photo shoot and they ran outside naked (well, in their panties) and the only place to hide would be in the phone booth. Making this shoot more difficult was that the girls were all going to be in phone booth at the same time, meaning they would have to be fighting for their shot while all the other girls were crowded around them.

When I saw that the girls would all be stuck in a phone booth, I laughed because I had all of these jokes about girls not showering, or perhaps farting in the phone booth. I was imagining what I could have called a fart in a phone booth. Perhaps the “standing dutch oven”? But alas, these girls ruined my time. Poor Bre, she thought that she had left all of the disgusting bastards back home with the Wild Boyz, but she was wrong. One of the girls forgot to put on deodorant, and Lisa actually farted in the phone booth, and it smelled enough that some people were probably wishing she was still wearing her diaper from last week.

There were a lot of good pictures this week, and here they are:(click on pictures for larger images)

Soon it was time for judging and Tyra once again made the point on how they had to be on all the time. She mentioned that she got the idea for the passport photo shoot because she once got a job because she was sitting on a plane next to a photographer. When asked to see a picture, Tyra showed him her passport, and they guy called her agent the next day. Although those passport photos were used for the reward, the candid pictures that they were going to be judged on were the ones taken by the paparazzi once they got to their hotel.

The paparazzi pictures caught a lot of the girls in not so flattering poses. After the exercise with Kevin Frazier, you think that more of them would have been prepared, but that was not the case. Kim looked like she was going for a nose pick and Lisa looked like she had spent the last few months homeless. Nik, who I think is gorgeous in her photos, does not have the greatest dressed down look. Those glasses make those eyes of hers look more alien than alluring, and with her hair pulled back, it makes that mole next to her eye look more like a wart than a beauty mark. The only girl who looked good in her paparazzi shot was Jayla. She had the sunglasses on, a scarf, and looked like she was expecting them to be there.

Is Lisa just leaving, or about to see Courtney Love?

When talking about the actual photo shoot, the judges once again fawned over Kim, saying that it was beautiful, serene, and gorgeous. Again, I may be biased, but I am not into her. They keep on saying that Kim has that thing that you won’t forget her, but when “that thing” is “uncanny resemblance to Roseanne season 3″, I don’t think it is anything to write home about. Luckily for me, the judges are also fawning over Bre. I like her on the show because she’s outspoken without being too pretentious, and while it has taken her a little while to get up to speed with the modeling pictures, she has been getting better every week. I agree with glamorama, and it looks like the judges are setting up a Kim vs. Bre showdown.

Nik has been in the same place for a little while now. She is too reserved and doesn’t really have a ton of personality when she is in front of you, but her pictures are just too amazing to think about letting her go. One thing they did notice about Nik was that she has been doing all profile shots, and they want to see her full frontal, even if all of her clothes were on at the time. Lisa is sort of like Nik in that she always takes good pictures, but she does have that personality. It may be a love it or hate it sort of thing getting to know her, but I think once she is in front of the camera, she has been taking instructions well, and taking great shots. As Nigel said, the challenge for her was taking that striking look she has in her shoots and make that her look in the public domain.

The Dodgers haven’t looked this good since they left Brooklyn

Lastly, we have Jayla and Nicole. Both of these girls have the same problem in that they aren’t trying to make things happen. Jayla was criticized during her photo shoot because the photographer felt that she was lacking range. Nicole is gorgeous, especially when in makeup, but she also seems to be working on natural talent, and she has developed an attitude. It’s not quite a diva attitude where she thinks she is better than everybody else and wants to be the center of attention, but more like a spoiled brat who can’t take instructions.

The final two this week came down to Lisa and Jayla. I was not surprised to see either because Jayla easily took the worst shot in the phone booth, and Lisa’s paparazzi shot screamed Goldie Hawn at age 50 without the help of plastic surgery. The judges decided that they would stick with Lisa, and although she was the most emotionally invested in the whole competition, she really wasn’t that emotional when she left. I really liked Lisa, her attitude, and her look, but as it started coming down to the end of the competition, it would have been hard to imagine her as the fresh face of Cover Girl don’t you think?

Of the remaining girls, I think I am still backing Bre, and then Nik and Jayla, but I have to admit that none of these girls are, uh, “raising” me to the same levels of passion as Naima or Eva and Norelle before her. In fact, at this point, my vote would go to “Not Kim” above anything else.

Were you happy that Lisa went home? If there was a fight between Kim and Bre, who would you put your money on?

Comments (73)
More About Author

About admin

73 Comments

1

Lisa

Posted November 19, 2005 at 8:17 pm

I’m SO happy Lisa went home.. although I would’ve rather have seen Jayla go first and then Lisa.
Yes Lisa does take great photos but she does look too old.
And I hated that whole papparazi crap this episode.
That was the biggest load of bullcrap I’ve ever seen.
Critisizing pics that are SUPPOSED TO LOOK BAD. Seriously… if a few pics of you not looking good 24/7 is going to ruin you then you sucked to begin with.
And blah blah blah… I really liked Kim’s pic this week. Her eyes in the pic are really gorgeous.
I thought the whole limo scene with her and Bre was hilarious though.
I felt a little sorry for her but she had it coming
2

TinkerbellAPixie

Posted November 19, 2005 at 8:30 pm

I thought Lisa also had a tendency to give her profile in photos, so wondered why that was ok for Lisa but not ok for Nik.

I was glad she went, after last week’s diaper duty it was time for her to go.

I was glad Kim got called out on her behavior and I think Nicole got off easy – because she has been just about as bad as Kim. Go back and watch previous episodes, nicole is always in that confessional making fun of someone.
3

brealfrank

Posted November 20, 2005 at 1:03 am

I’M SO GLAD LISA IS GONE! ABOUT TIME! I’m banking on the final two being Nik and Bre (maybe Nicole). Jayla should go next week followed by Kim (who should’ve been gone a long ass time ago). Bre has the lead to me.

I’M SO GLAD I FOUND TVgasm!!!
4

chronic

Posted November 21, 2005 at 5:06 am

Awww, I’m sad to see Lisa go. Yeah, that paparazzi shot was terrible, but she is usually well turned out, when she’s not making an ass out of herself. Especially since Jayla’s photo was beyond horrible. And Nicole has once again proven herself to be a whining waste of space. And Kim, ugh, J-Unit I’m with you all the way. But true, Lisa’s look was more mature than the others, and she handled it all so graciously it wasn’t too bad.

Bre was awesome! She handled Kim brilliantly. How lame is that, to say she doesn’t make fun of her friends. How bout not making fun of anyone at all, bitch. I called it from episode 2, she is nasty.
5

chronic

Posted November 21, 2005 at 5:24 am

#2, yeah, I mentioned that last week that Nicole is about as mean, and to make matters worse, she whines and complains non stop. I think that recap show, which actually had a lot of new material, showed a lot of that. I hope she goes next.
6

Alikat

Posted November 21, 2005 at 6:27 am

I agree with you and I don’t see anything special about Kim. She needs to go. As for the other girls, nobody stands out for me but I definitely dont think it should be Jayla..between the other three girls, any one of them are okay. I guess the winner will stand out closer to the end (which is what Ive been saying this whole time). This has been a very entertaining top model but I dont think the girls are that appealing as “top models”.
7

whitney

Posted November 21, 2005 at 6:32 am

this episode did annoy me, the fake photogs, how lame

i think jayla should have been sent home first, they should have kept lisa for one more week for entertainment, jayla has not taken a good photo in weeks,
nic looks too alien in person, she takes great profile shots, but just looks weird in person, i think its her eyes

bre is growing on me, i love her voice and her photos are improving, i see her in the bottom two

nicole is letting an opportunity just pass her by, i find myself yelling at the tv for her to do Something

last, but not least my kimmy, stop hating on her, what she lacks in bone structure she makes up for in the lips and eyes, she is memorable because she’s not just another pretty face.
8

me

Posted November 21, 2005 at 6:51 am

Whitney: Have you seen Nic in person?
9

BSideLover

Posted November 21, 2005 at 8:09 am

I’m half with you on Kim – I don’t think she deserves to still be there but damn if she doesn’t take good pictures some time. Come on, J Unit, you have to admit this week’s picture was good – especially for her.

I am 100% rooting for Bre now – I love her! She never fails to make me laugh. And it’s about time for the dark-skinned girls to have a role model too. There are too many Evas, Tyras and Beyonces out there. There need to be some beautiful dark-skinned household names!! Go BRE!
10

America's Next Top Fan

Posted November 21, 2005 at 9:13 am

“Kim picked up the phone and after telling Visa that she’s the gayest person in the house, but she won’t take American Express,” LOLOLOL oooh shit that’s funny.

Loved how Bre and Nic layed into Kim and Lisa was sitting back eating popcorn loving every minute of it with a HUGE ass smile on her face. That girl just makes me pee my Depends Diapers. J-unit you should have screencapped Lisa’s huge ass smile while sitting next to Kim.

Picadilly Circus is almost as bad as Dogwood & Pussywillows, a phrase that I find amusing and strangely erotic that keeps being uttered on THis Old House. Now I just go around saying “Dogwood & Pussywillows” to people randomly.

“Lisa’s paparazzi shot screamed Goldie Hawn at age 50″ LOLOLOL you are on a roll j-unit.

Hated that Lisa left cause all her pictures were on Point. Even that photo of her hugging Jayla goodbye her face is flawless. Dem Dere Bitches are just jealous of Lisa. Jayla should have packed her jagged teeth and headed for the redeye. But I love how graceous Lisa was in loosing. For those who didn’t think she had class she showed a lot last night.
11

East Coast

Posted November 21, 2005 at 9:19 am

This season is really boring. It is a pity that they got rid of Lisa – even though she could be annoying at times, her personality was memorable, her photos were great and she actually knew about fashion. The diaper incident did her in, I think. As for the girls remaining, they are weak over all. No one stands out. Bre is starting to REALLY annoy me. She is judgmental and has a hollier-than-thou attitude, which may be derived from her religious background. Who does she think she is to call someone a “bad person”? Besides, although Bre did well in the chocolate commercial because she played the sex kitten card, she is not very articulate and will fare poorly as a spokerperson. Not to mention that her walk is more of a horse’s mating dance. Gosh, I guess I don’t really like Bre after all… I guess Nik could win because she is the more likable one of the bunch. Not a memorable season at all (except for Lisa and her Depends commercial).
12

Hmmm

Posted November 21, 2005 at 9:25 am

J-Unit, I am a big fan of Tvgasm and come here often to read the blogs and to have my day brightened w/some laughter from the writers (yourself included) witty commentary. Today, though I am a little puzzled by part of the recap. In particular the part where Bre and Nik go for the night on the town in London. Were you just being facetious when you stated:

“…. No, they were doing things than they were used to back home. Instead of saying “Bitch, where’s my money” and backhadning them with a diamond ring, the guys would hold the door open before Nik and Bre entered. Instead of honking at them and telling them how phat their asses were, thew would pull a chair out before they were seated. When dinner was a fancy restaurant and wine instead of a bucket of KFC, some biscuits and a case of Old English, the two of them knew they were on to something. Maybe there was more to life than being a baby momma.”?

I certainly hope so, because it’s truly disturbing to think you meant that or that you would stereotype them that way just because they are supposed “urban beauties”. Please tell me you were just being sarcastic or kidding and I missed the joke or something.
13

America's Next Top Fan

Posted November 21, 2005 at 9:29 am

hmmm.

I think j-unit was making a sarcastic jab at racial stereotypes. I believe he’s black so he can make blatant racially decisive comments like those. (sarcasm) LOL.
14

me

Posted November 21, 2005 at 9:29 am

I think he was joking about that because Bre said that the way the english men treated them was not how they were treated at home.
15

J-Unit

Posted November 21, 2005 at 9:36 am

Hmmmm,

Sorry, I fixed the sentence to make it a little more clear. As me said, Nik said the english men treated them very differently than they were used to back home. I was trying to make fun of the way people treated these two girls because obviously they should be treated with respect and not disdain.
16

VRM

Posted November 21, 2005 at 9:41 am

This is the first time I have actually been offended by anything written on TVgasm. I usually know enough not to take the comments too seriously. However, I couldn’t even finish reading the article after the “baby mama” paragraph. I realize that we all have to live with the opinions of others, but I just wanted you to know that what you wrote was offensive to me personally.
17

East Coast

Posted November 21, 2005 at 11:01 am

I can see how some people got offended by the paragraph about Bre’s and Nik’s night out. This is a snark site, after all, and people are here to snark on others. That being sad, I think that sometimes people go on and on for too long, and end up reinforcing the stereotypes, rather than making fun of them. In my opinion, the gay stereotype has been too exploited here. Everybody should be able to make fun of him/herself, but I have read some reviews with remarks that border on the homophobic side of the spectrum – where the reality “stars” are made fun of not because they are wacko but because they are gay. The comment “… but I showed the joke to a gay friend of mine and he thought it was funny…” does not cut it since your gay friend may just be Roy Cohn or Mary Cheney for all we know. Please be aware of your prejudices and don’t let them poison such a wonderfully entertaining site.
18

couchpotato

Posted November 21, 2005 at 11:33 am

Kim’s going to win the whole thing, but I really really want Bre to win. She’s so gorgeous and I love her personality.
19

TV-OD

Posted November 21, 2005 at 11:36 am

People are too easily offended. Loved the recap! I’m gay and I have never taken any gay jokes on this site as being malicious. It is all in good fun.
20

Alikat

Posted November 21, 2005 at 11:44 am

Couchpotato-please dont tell me that you know a spoiler! i really hope kim doesn’t win.
21

TV-OD

Posted November 21, 2005 at 11:45 am

I really like Kim, I think she takes great photos but if they have to do any more runway I think it is really going to hurt her. I think Bre is going to win this.
22

JH

Posted November 21, 2005 at 11:49 am

Why is Jayla still here?

And when did Bre become such a self righteous, high horse riding diva. I still enjoy her to an extent but the way she was acting like Kim was the most horrible person and she, Jayla, and Nik were all so great was ridiculous. Obviously they haven’t hear Jayla talk because that girl talks shit about others, especially Nik (recall the secrets commercial they did). They all talk shit about each other! I think Bre needs to stop playing the role of little miss innocent and see the true sassy diva she acts like.

Go Nicole and Nik. Of all the remaining girls i think these two have the most model potential. Nicole is young and pretty even without make up. Same with Nik. Bre is pretty but her snobby,high horse behaviour is becoming grating. Kim is just to chubby cheeked to be a model,wheres the bone structure? and Jayla is just blah.
23

whitney

Posted November 21, 2005 at 12:30 pm

okay so i shouldn’t have put in person, but in everyday life, as in no hair/makeup/stylists fixin her up she is not pretty, in my opinion
she has only one pose, looking to the side, where is her versatility?
24

whitney

Posted November 21, 2005 at 12:33 pm

tyra is no oprah
according to some guests/vitims of her show on socialitelife.com Nov.18 say that tyra’s talk show is a fraud
25

Wannabeontop

Posted November 21, 2005 at 1:02 pm

Lmao!
J-Unit, u are a fantastic writer. Thanx so much for going into so much detail because I missed the first bit of the episode and now I’m all caught up. I’m pretty pro Kim overall, but I really dislike Nicole’s bratty angsty teenager attitude. But I was sorry that Lisa left, she made the season more fun, only the whole diaper thing was fully over the top. Even for her.
26

me

Posted November 21, 2005 at 1:52 pm

this is the most racist thing i have ever read. no more tvgasm for me.

Once in their hotel, Bre learned that she was going to have a nice evening on the town in London. she picked Nik to go with her and soon they were whisked around in the town by a bunch of gentlemen in a carriage. For these two urban beauties, it was quite a breathtaking event, and not just because the carriage was driving on the wrong side of the road. No, their escorts weren’t doing things like the girls were used to being treated back home. Instead of saying “Bitch, where’s my money” and backhadning them with a diamond ring, the guys would hold the door open before Nik and Bre entered. Instead of honking at them and telling them how phat their asses were, thew would pull a chair out before they were seated. When dinner was a fancy restaurant and wine instead of a bucket of KFC, some biscuits and a case of Old English, the two of them knew they were on to something. Maybe there was more to life than being a baby momma. If they were a top model, they would find guys to treat them like that all the time, and not just after they won the trifecta at the Aqueduct.
27

me

Posted November 21, 2005 at 3:38 pm

So, just how many MEs are going to post here?

Don’t like Kim at all even though she does take some good photos when she is “girlie.” But wasn’t her whole “uniqueness” not being girlie? She doesn’t make the cut without all the make-up and girlie clothes. And either wear shorts or get real pants.
28

me

Posted November 21, 2005 at 4:09 pm

I’m so glad all you whiney brats have had enough and are leaving TVGasm forever. It was better before you got here. And if that is the “most racist thing you have ever read” you must not read the lyrics of that gangsta rap crap you kids buy today. Puhleeze. Grow up, get a job and go out and buy a freaking sense of humor.
29

Hmmm

Posted November 21, 2005 at 4:26 pm

J-Unit, you are obviously a bright person and talented writer, so I think people are disappointed that you chose to regurgitate played out stereotypes…
30

kims#1

Posted November 21, 2005 at 4:46 pm

J-Unit – you need to open your mind. I don’t think you can handle a woman that doesn’t have sufficient feminism to feed your fantasies and reassure your masculinity. Kim Rocks!

I could only be happier if they had a black lesbian win next year. Or maybe, a black bisexual transsexual. I am sure you have your considerable biasts against them as well.
31

LyrikalJuse

Posted November 21, 2005 at 9:37 pm

If what J-Unit wrote is considered racist, I don’t get it. I remember listening to one of Hitler’s speeches when I was in high school and the way he talked about the existence of a superior race and how he justified killing Jews based on this assumption. Now THAT’S racist.
32

Lisa

Posted November 22, 2005 at 12:10 am

Good fricking lord people.
How about you take that big stick out of your ass. Go out and find your offended asses a sense of frickin humor.
33

Lisa

Posted November 22, 2005 at 12:11 am

And I forgot to add…. You don’t like it.. no one is making you read it. Take your whiney asses somewhere else so we don’t have to deal with your pathetic shit.
34

lucy

Posted November 22, 2005 at 12:20 am

Oh my god, people, he was obviously joking. This whole site is snarky, sarcastic humor…I can’t believe people are offended. And, if that’s the only thing you’re offended by, then that reveals a lot about who you are, and YOUR prejudices.

And, what is up with people ripping on Kim for making fun of others?!?! EVERYONE does. Damn, this whole website is filled with recaps making fun of people…and, you’re still here reading and laughing.

The hypocrites here are too transparent.
35

chronic

Posted November 22, 2005 at 4:50 am

Seems too obvious to need stating, but there is a world of difference between snarking about people on tv (yeah, it’s a bit cruel, but they’re fair game, and that’s what reality tv is there for) and taking such delight in cutting up the people you live with behind their back, and then being completely two-faced about it.
36

From the

Posted November 22, 2005 at 5:31 am

J-Unit,
I figured there was some bit of sarcasm involved…but thank you for the clarification.
37

Hmmm

Posted November 22, 2005 at 5:33 am

From the “original” hmmm from post #12

J-Unit,
I figured there was some bit of sarcasm involved… thank you for the clarification.
38

You suck

Posted November 22, 2005 at 5:38 am

Seriously, get over it already. wah, wah wah, stop yer whining. People are such hypocrites.
39

America's Next Top Fan

Posted November 22, 2005 at 5:57 am

“Puhleeze. Grow up, get a job and go out and buy a freaking sense of humor.”

OK “me” (#28) everything said has been done to make fun of racial or sexual stereotypes but your “get a job” comment is way out of line. Totally racists and show that you think all black people are sitting at home collecting welfare. No, you cannot defend it by saying it was a sarcastic comment because it wasn’t.

My advise to you is to keep your opinions to yourself lest some of your true feeling show through.
40

ummm - ok

Posted November 22, 2005 at 6:01 am

To: You suck,
YOU don’t make any sense. Didn’t they just say thanks for clearing up the misunderstanding. What’s hypocritical about that. Geesh…let’s just move on.
41

me...again

Posted November 22, 2005 at 6:52 am

America’s next…
You know. I have really enjoyed reading your comments in the past. But I’m just curious as to why you would infer from my “get a job” comment I was talking about black people??? Contextually speaking the “get a job” comment was made to imply that the people with said sticks jammed up their asses would have to purchase their senses of humor because they obviously weren’t born with them. Black, white, hispanic, asian or otherwise. I don’t come here to comment on race relations, I never have and I never would.
42

whitney

Posted November 22, 2005 at 7:42 am

wow, and i just wanted to comment on how i saw toccara on the cover of a hair maf=gazine, but i guess i thought this was the antm page, not the rant and rave about race relations and stereotypes site, fight it out somewhere else, HERE we want to mindlessly chatter about people we will never meet, so we can say whatever we want because they put themselves on tv for our viewing pleasure, take your moral stances elsewhere, im here to talk top model
43

America's Next Top Fan

Posted November 22, 2005 at 7:50 am

me (#41)

OK. point taken. too hung over to argue. lol need more sleep. Dogwood & Pussywillows!
44

smitty

Posted November 22, 2005 at 8:25 am

Wow, there are some anger balls out here.

Nic looks like an alien when she has her glasses on.
45

jash

Posted November 22, 2005 at 8:50 am

good lord people! it is interesting how people perceive what j-unit wrote to mean. i read it and think he is taking a light-hearted, sarcastic approach to the industry of pimps and ho’s. “bitch where my money?” please, thats clearly pimp talk…

so all you sensitive candy-asses need to direct your anger towards the rap industry that clearly does more to promote such socio-ethnic tensions than some hilarious recap.

and props to # 31 for bringing in hitler for some levity.
46

Pecann

Posted November 22, 2005 at 10:43 am

I am glad that Lisa went home. I agree with J-Unit, she would not have been a good cover girl spokesmodel. It is not so much the age (Nikki Taylor is in her 30s now) so much as it is the hard look that she has. I am personally a Nicole fan – she is adorably and a little immature but extremely talented.
47

glam0rama

Posted November 22, 2005 at 11:41 am

ahhh, i am back after ruining several people’s lives with an accidental spoiler. again, my apologies. (and if you want my home address so you can send me arsenic love letters, let me know.)

i am still taking bets on the kim Vs. bre situation. and i’m actually starting to like bre a bunch. her no-nonsense attitude and the fact that she’s constantly saying “i’m gonna win this shit” is pretty convincing. she’s either going to win america’s next top model, or she’s going to sing jazz & scat at a dive bar on tuesdays. there are no other options for bre.

again, if they don’t get rid of good ol’ ‘fish face’ jayla soon, i’m gonna start beating up random homeless people and old ladies until i get results. i’m serious.

p.s. thanks for agreeing with me j-unit. i’ll bet you one pounder of pabst blue ribbon that bre takes the whole prize and kim ends up shanked in her sleep…oh wait, that’s prison break…
48

hat

Posted November 22, 2005 at 12:54 pm

clearly, its racist.
49

glam0rama

Posted November 22, 2005 at 2:04 pm

how is it racist if j-unit is black? i’m just assuming from his south park character, but that would be like me sitting around calling irish and italian people drunks and fat assholes – i’m allowed to do it because i’m irish and italian. i thought that was the deal with stereotypes?

this PC bullshit better calm down real quick cause i know damn well that i didn’t start posting on tvgasm to hear a bunch of old woman sitting around bitching about the JOKES. if you don’t like the jokes, http://www.tvguide.com will supply you with all of your television needs. jesus christ with this BS already…
50

hat

Posted November 22, 2005 at 2:27 pm

any one can be racist or say racist things, the words dont change effect or lose value cuz of skin color. my whole problem was the over exaggerated stereotype, as if becuz the girls are black or urban, that everything he said is what they are used to. just my opinion not tryin to stir the pot. thats just how i read it.
51

hat

Posted November 22, 2005 at 2:29 pm

and im not old im only 20. but i am a woman .
52

jash

Posted November 22, 2005 at 3:57 pm

well the words do change effect and lose value is you cannot properly spell said words.
53

smitty

Posted November 22, 2005 at 4:55 pm

Please hat. Please use apostrophes. And spell check the word “cause”
54

hat

Posted November 22, 2005 at 7:02 pm

k
55

J-Unit

Posted November 22, 2005 at 10:10 pm

YEs, I agree, please keep the discussion focused on ANTM, this was a good episode! If you hate me, send me an e-mail. I really like the ones where people say ythey will get all of our advertisers to stop pull their ads. The girls said they weren’t used to be treating so nicely, and I thought it was odd because they are being treated the way any person should treat a lady, or another human being for that matter.

Re: Kim,

I honestly didn’t like her picture that much. Her lips are nice, but I think Nicole, Lisa, and Nik haver her beat. Her nose looks like it is smushed against the glass.

I hope that the next show Bre and Kim make up for the slack now that Lisa is gone.

Yours,

J “Not as racist as Hitler, but twice as funny” Unit
56

Gotsum

Posted November 22, 2005 at 10:29 pm

Hey if yall want some cheap racist out of line humor, go check out sarah Silvermans new flick “Jesus is Magic”…….
57

America's Next Top Fan

Posted November 23, 2005 at 6:12 am

My money is on ‘I want to be a High School Junior Forever’ Nicole. She’s cute, young, and has that TOP MODEL body. She just needs to get that edge and a DFWM (don’t fuck wit me) diva attitude.

Bre is a hamburger away from being Nel Carter and Nik is a complete Dingbat when it comes to doing Go Sees and interviews. Kim is just… how can I say this?… pussy fixated.
58

You suck

Posted November 23, 2005 at 6:14 am

That was a very good explanation J-Unit and it’s actually how I perceived it, because I am not racist.
59

LyrikalJuse

Posted November 23, 2005 at 6:37 am

I cannot wait until tonight’s episode when Kim and Bre go at it. I hope Bre puts Kim in her place. Actually, I know Bre will put Kim in her place. Go Bre!!!

And I hope Tyra eliminates both Jayla and Kim tonight or I might be pulling my hair out for real.
60

whitney

Posted November 23, 2005 at 6:59 am

bre one hamburger away from nell carter? are you serious? she look sjust as thin as the rest, jayla must go tonight i cannot take her anymore, the diaper episode was on again last night and i couldn’t stop laughing at her silent scream
-i really don’t think any of these girls are top model material, not compared to the other seasons
61

America's Next Top Fan

Posted November 23, 2005 at 7:35 am

Both Bre and Kim have body types that are prone to putting on pounds fast. You can see Kim already beefing up and Bre is only skinny cause she’s barely past puberty. Give her a year and some food and it’s bye bye Blackbird.

Like Keenyah from last year Bre has a fat face and people generally grow into their facial features. If you have a fat face during puberty, guess what, you’re SOL. People with skinny faces during puberty are generally skinny for life. Yay. Yes I know I’m generalizing but that’s my opinion. Bre is Nel Carter during her younger years. Dogwood & Pussywillows.
62

glam0rama

Posted November 23, 2005 at 7:54 am

i am so pissed off that i have to fly home tonight. i’m totally going to miss this episode…i wish i had a time machine or something…
63

mam

Posted November 23, 2005 at 8:30 am

What does SOL stand for?

You may be right with the generalization but its not right all the time (i hope). I always had chubby cheeks but was always really really skinny. Although I am not as bony as I was when I was younger, I lost my face fat and now I am still thin at 25. So Im hoping you are wrong. LOL
64

America's Next Top Fan

Posted November 23, 2005 at 9:46 am

Shit out of luck.

congrats mam, you beat the odds..
65

Diana

Posted November 23, 2005 at 2:41 pm

hey ppl i just want to say im so happy that lisa went home i just thout she would be one fo the 3 but turns out her weirdness got her gone !!!! oh ya and i think jyla or w.e goes home i seriously dont like her !!! i love kim and nicole
66

Diana

Posted November 23, 2005 at 2:45 pm

hey for all u jayla and bre and nik lovers ure going down cuz either nicole or kim r gunna win they actually look like a model !!! and bre has a bitchy attitude nik is to quite and jayla is a bitch to
67

katieshole

Posted November 24, 2005 at 8:47 am

I don’t really like any of these girls. I think the casting could of been better.

Glad Lisa is gone, she looked a little worn out, and clearly has been a ‘few times around that track’…so much that the track is no longer paved, its back to being dirt…

I had picked Jayla out from the beginning to win, but now maybe it will be Nic?

KH
68

ashley

Posted November 24, 2005 at 9:55 pm

hey i missed who was eliminated on the night of thanksgiving. any one know who it was>?? thanks
69

Anonymous

Posted November 25, 2005 at 9:31 am

kim was eliminated, and it was about time!
70

amber

Posted November 25, 2005 at 12:45 pm

J-unit – Your whole “Nevermind the Bullocks” blog was terrible. Thanks for the rant of someone who clearly has no insight and is easily led by editing and media manipulation.

What a waste of time.
71

Donna Martin Graduates!

Posted November 27, 2005 at 11:38 am

Amber(#70) — “Bullocks”?!

We’re not talking cattle, here.

It’s a Sex Pistol’s ref.
72

Alikat

Posted November 28, 2005 at 8:54 am

Lol, I love how everyone said that Kim would definitely be in the top three-as if they knew a spoiler. HA! Even though she did grow on me a little, i knew she wouldnt make it.
73

Mary-Jane

Posted December 1, 2005 at 11:51 am

I am soooo mad that kim got voted off! I loved her!! Especially in that black and white photo shoot, does anyone have that picture btw? I cant find it anywhere! l8erness…
~me

Never Mind the Bollocks

Overall, these guys were boring, but at least we got to hear them say Piccadilly Circus

Is Lisa just leaving, or about to see Courtney Love?

The Dodgers haven’t looked this good since they left Brooklyn

73 Comments

Post a Comment Cancel reply

TV Social

Login

Recent Comments

Subscribe to Blog

Hot Shows

Fresh Tweets!

Never Mind the Bollocks

Overall, these guys were boring, but at least we got to hear them say Piccadilly Circus

Is Lisa just leaving, or about to see Courtney Love?

The Dodgers haven’t looked this good since they left Brooklyn

If you like it, spread it!:

73 Comments

Post a Comment Cancel reply

TV Social

Login

Recent Comments

Subscribe to Blog

Hot Shows

Fresh Tweets!