ANNDDDDDDDD we’re back! Finally! Did y’all miss me? No? Okay then. Who wants to hear a funny story? (raises hand) OKAY THEN.
So last week, the last week of my Christmas break, my fabulous parents were nice enough to take me to Disney World. It was wonderful, except the day we went to Magic Kingdom it was cold and raining. And of course, I came home with a wonderful cold that I have not been able to get rid of. The gift that keeps on giving. So that’s where I was last week. Please forgive me! This actually wasn’t a funny story. I don’t even know what I’m talking about.
Don’t give me that face, you little fartbucket.
This episode is sure to be a doozy. Let’s jump in and get this hut party started. See what I did there?
This show is getting more and more scripted by the minute. You can tell in their interviews because they are not very good actors. Anywho.
We open this week with Johnny boy whining. WOAH. Plot twist. Johnny boy is going on and on about how he’s broke and crap. Here’s my violin John, do you hear it? Do. You. Hear. It. Since John is such a brainiac, he decides to throw a hut party without Levi’s knowledge to make some moolah. Great idea sport! Except the party is taking place in a barn. Not a hut. Also, the party lasts for like 5 minutes before the producers prompt some drama and John throws them all out. Next time, invite people who can hold their alcohol. As if this party isn’t ridiculous enough, cue the hired extras to throw all the furniture out of the barn. You see a chair flying out and apparently the air hockey table was broken. Then we hear John going “everybody out, party’s over” Lawd have mercy, John grow some balls and get authoritative. For reals though, he says it like he’s holding a conversation on a first date. Who am I kidding? John. On a date. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
So now John has his undies in a bunch because on top of the money he owes Merlin, he now owes Levi money too. Let’s just hope that Levi doesn’t find out about this party.
Oops, spoke too soon. The next day John goes to Levi’s ravishing roofless barn to talk about business. The business being that Levi has found out about the Barn party. Guess that means you shouldn’t let cameras come with you. Naturally, Levi is all sorts of pissed off about something going on behind his back. John is all sorts of pissed that he still owes money to everyone in Lancaster and Alvin still needs a new haircut.
Stop making fun of my hair.
We’re still on the John train, so now we get to see him shoveling horse crap where he secretly hides his phone. How sweet, I wonder if he hides his diary there too. I imagine an entry must go like this: “Dear Diary, Levi was SO mean to me today. Can you believe that? What a poopy meanie head. Gosh oh golly, I need a car and some money. Maybe mom will give me a penny so I can go get some ice cream! Better go ask! Cya later, I have to oil my scooter. Tootles!”