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Friday, January 11, 2013
11:51 am
25 Comments
Tagged: Alvin, amish mafia, Beach, buggy races, Esther, Florida, funny, John, Jolin, levi, ohio, PA, parody, recap, Soul patch, stupid esther
Now, Jo and Alvin show up and they are not happy campers. John gets ready to run round two of the race. The race starts and John looses. Duh. Jo and Alvin are pissed, you still owe Merlin money and Levi hates you too. What a little punk. The mafia goes over to yell at John and he just looks like a drowned sad puppy. But not a cute puppy. Scratch that, I love puppies. I don’t love John. They all fuss with Merlin and then they start to nail John’s buggy. I mean really, hits it, flips it over, beats it with a baseball bat. All while Johnny boy just stands there. HE JUST STANDS THERE. Next thing you know, Jo has the buggy hooked up to his truck and he’s dragging it off somewhere.
Back in FL, Esther and Levi are getting ready to leave when he receives a phone call about John. Now he’s mad too and they take off. We have another random scene with Merlin and his crew talking about taking over Levi. YAWN.
Levi and Alvin are at some bar talking about John when Merlin’s little person rolls up. He jumps on Levi’s caddy and smashes the window with a sledgehammer. 5 minutes later Levi and Alvin come out to see the window smashed. They talk to a random street person who says he saw the person with the sledgehammer. Now it’s time to declare war on Merlin. That’s where we end for this week.
Happier than Gallagher at a Farmer’s Market.
Next episode is THE SEASON FINALE. That was quick. I’ll start on it today and hopefully have it up by tomorrow! Thanks for your patience!
-AshSmash
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25 Comments
I wish Merlin would buy some new shirts. I am tired of seeing the peach colored thing and the blue one is not much better.
I’m oddly fascinated by this show even though the scripting is pretty terrible. The longer it goes on the more these people appear as naive country bumpkins that the mafiosos the show is trying to make them out.
Merlin is super crazy and ‘the devil himself’?!?. That rag-tag band of his tells you all you need to know about how menacing he is. Jolin and Alivin have some potential, but the more that Levi stops short of doing anything actually bad-ass, the more he just appears as someone who is mostly talk. John is a total dumb-ass. I’m not sure if it is the fact that he never looks right at the camera but his staring off blankly into the distance during interviews and his inability to say anything other than ‘I need to make some money’ or ‘I need to take Levi’s/Merlin’s spot’ makes him look like the might have been dropped on his head when he was young.
I can’t stand Esther, although she is probably the most shady of the bunch and that should have made her an interesting character in this show. I just can’t figure out her power/appeal. Also, I found it kind of disturbing that she looked so much like Samantha Bee out of her Amish getup.
Thanks for the recap!
That fish eyed guy that Alvin and Jo recruited was insane. They need to have an Amish mixer with another town and clean up the retarded gene pool.
Next week, John tries to make money by coordinating a fight between the two superheroes, Hulking Retarded Boy and Midget With A Clean House.
Esther can’t love Levi bc she was raped. But she has no problem screwing Jo. Yep. Makes sense.
And didn’t Esther later make reference to “kids”, more than one? What’s up with that?
Hasn’t Levi known her forever? How doesn’t he know she has 2 kids???
Yeah, I think Esther must have had twins when she became pregnant when raped and threatened not to tell. She def referred to “more than one” What’s up with one of Merlin’s humble Amish help with the soul patch and he is wearing an Amish fedora!!! All this after we were schooled on what makes an Amish man single and married (facial hair) and how Amish can tell what community you are from by the shape of the hat. I love this show. I think Eric Evangelista deserves an Emmy Award, and some of the actors do also. Alvin is becoming my favorite. Ratings were ok, and I hope they come back for a second season.
I don’t understand how there are all these rules about being Amish, and these people just break them all willy nilly.
No premarital sex, BAM Esther bangs Jolin.
No being alone with men, BAM Esther is alone with men all the time.
No cars, BAM people riding in cars all the damn time.
No airplanes, BAM Esther and Levi on an airplane happy as clams.
No tattoos, BAM Jolin is covered in em.
It’s madness.
How can they call themselves Amish if they aren’t baptized and then can’t even be bothered to follow the rules?
Merlin does need some new shirts.
But I was really amused with this episode. So much property damage, and I love the way that Alvin and Jo just took John’s buggy like that. They didn’t even have the kindness to position it upright, they just dragged it on its side. Omg I laughed so hard.
I wonder what the possibility is of John having some kind of mental deficiency.
He could be stupid and not have a medical condition, but something about his face and the way he talks makes me think that he’s not quite right.
Oh you guys, I me gusta you all! Just wait until next week, they’re having one of those tell all reunion shows. Apparently Esther hooks up with Merlin. EW. Gross
This whole show is just not adding up. Surely Esther doesn’t keep those kids locked up in a room all day, someone has had to have seen her out around town with them.
On the kid(s) issue my immediate thought was \If someone sneezes Levi knows about it 5 second later but has no idea the woman he has loved ALL his life has 2 kids\? Ok, sure and as someone else mentioned they either had to be twins or else she’s had more than that 1 sexual encounter. But, really, if this show were true there would be no way Levi wouldn’t have known about it. I kind of like Levi and would date him if I were her, does that make me weird? LOL
SO, Micheelle–are you developing a crush on a member of your new favorite boy band? Yeah, that’s right. Ha! I think the genius of Eric Evangelista created a TV show by developing a BOY BAND: The secret is have one of the members appeal to each segment of society–Levi is the big, teddy bear leader, Alvin is the shy one with the long hair hanging in his eyes, Jolin is the hot bad boy the girls go wild over, and John is the young one with the baby-blues. There ya have it–the formula to put together a boy band with a guy for each type of person in society to game after, hence RATINGS. Think about it, it’s absolute genius! I love this show!
gimme mo!
@chaosbutterfly….I so agree. How are any of them technically Amish?? I read somewhere that the Amish get baptized as adults (dont hold me to it, I could be wrong) but if so, they are all adults at this point, so the driving, airplanes, sex, etc. should be against the rules. I get that Jolin is Mennonite (so he’ll never be #1!!! The blurry faced community won’t have it!!!) the others aren’t.
Oh, and Esther……puke! I feel bad if that happened to her as a kid, but she is so conniving, I don’t know what’s true. Although, A&E pretty much admits how fake this is, so…..
And before I end my rant…..I’m kinda crushing on Alvin too!! (K, hiding my head in shame!)
Great Recaps, sucks it was such a short season.
I think at one point, Esther and John lived in Ohio for some years and what went on while they were living there is what Levi doesn’t know and also, how they know Merlin. From the previews for the “tell all” episode, it appears that Merlin has dirt on them both and lets it out with both barrels. I can’t stand him but I can’t stand John and Esther more, so I’m glad he tells it all. Oh, don’t know if I can bring this one up since AshSmash hasn’t recapped the “finale” yet but who the hell is the new girl, Barb?! LOL Yeah, she reminds me of a femail John…not real bright, that one. LOL AshSmash- I know you can rock the recap of the finale and tear these idiots up….gotta post that soon! LOL
^ But she’s smart enough to know what side her bread is buttered on LOL.
That officially makes her smarter than both John and Esther, who for some reason thing that defying Levi is the best way to get what they want.
*think that
Don’t you worry miss Jenn! I’m going to do the finale and the tell all episode together so it will be a long recap and they’ll tie in with each other
Chaos add a camera to catch all of what they are not supposed to be doing.
Wondering if they have managed to watch the show. Do we know if they are getting paid?
Better yet, do they read the recaps? I bet Esther hates me.
I bet they have viewing parties at their hut establishments.
Esther hates us all.
As I have said, I think show deserves an EMMY AWARD. I am sure Esther’s petulance is designed to bring out those feelings in us, and that is why she may get an Emmy. Who knows! All I know is I will go through sever withdrawls if the show doesn’t come back. I can’t wait to see the finale, and most of all, I can’t wait to read the AshSmashRecap!
Esther outted their name. Esther Freeman Schmucker is her and John’s last name.
LOL,,,,,whose the little one holding that cheap shotgun? He thinks he’s so bad!!! LOL. He hides in the Omish cummunity to keep from getting his butt stomped. This is an outcast bunch of actors. Yea,,,I said actors. What clowns!!!,,,,LOL,,,,,,, If they were real,,they’d be a cult.
AshSmash- you’re killing me! LOL I am just waiting to hear you rip these folks up and still no recap yet! *sounds of weeping and pounding desk in frustration* There’s so much I need to hear your hilarious take on: Barb, Ester & Merlin (WTF??!!!), Big Steve the nodding, bobble-head doll….LOL
It’s on it’s way! Done with the finale and on the tell all
This is hands down the best show on television, if you are on here debating if it is “real” you aren’t getting it, the joke went over your head.
Bring on Season 2!!!!