And The Winner Is…

21 Comments

1. 1
   Bobbie
   Posted September 26, 2005 at 12:23 pm

   Oh, my God! Oh My God! Um, uh, I have some notes right here; just let me…Oh! I’ve never won anything before. Oh my. Oh. Oh my God! I swear, I had them right here, but they’ve slipped down my decolletage…Oh my God! Well, I just want to thank my peers, um, all of whom made a really, really decent effort! And to my inspiration–TVgasm, the very bestest of ‘blogs anywhere! And to my mom and dad, whose love has kept me pluggin’ away at the old typewriter, fiddling with rhthym and rhyme–they don’t all come out as good as this one did. And to my muse, Sharon Stone, whose example reminded me that we all DO have access to higher powers, and to my Lord and Sav…What’s that? Hey, I’m not done! Wait! Do I get my choice of DVD? I could really use a new copy of Run, Lola, Run for my classroom. What? No choice–oh…well, in the spirit of altruism, I’d like to dedicate my winnings to general hurricane relief; afterall, no matter how bad it gets, you probably don’t have Rosie for a sister…

2. 2
   Lyndsay
   Posted September 26, 2005 at 12:52 pm

   You should hire Bobbie to write recaps for you. Funny stuff!

3. 3
   Heather
   Posted September 26, 2005 at 1:10 pm

   um, yeah…i really didn’t care whether or not I won, anyway…yeah.

   *sniff*

4. 4
   Candace
   Posted September 26, 2005 at 1:27 pm

   I believe “Heather” was totally ROBBED!I think your winner must know someone.Isn’t that usually against the rules? Candace

5. 5
   callygirl
   Posted September 26, 2005 at 2:34 pm

   Heather, you were robbed. Bobbie’s is funny, but you used magnetic poetry to its fullest potential AND referred to Rosie as a “drooling goddess” and having “sausage like arms and legs.” Genius.

6. 6
   RedHaiku
   Posted September 26, 2005 at 3:04 pm

   Liked the little poem, but the magnetic one kicked ass.

7. 7
   Bobbie
   Posted September 26, 2005 at 4:10 pm

   Hey, I know LOTS of people, but no one who lives anywhere in California–the closest is a son in Seattle. And I know I won this contest fair and square–after all, I am an advanced English teacher of some reknown…In fact, I was leading a section of seniors on a romp through John Lyly’s…powerfully nuanced…ode to his lady love, Daphne, on the day the contest was announced, and it doubtless informed my reactively modern and qua-retarded efforts. And I must humbly point out that I captured the character’s unique voice spot on! Of this I am certain; I did, after all, listen carefully to all sound bites provided by TVgasm from the film that has inspired this work. One must get in touch with one’s subject–do the research, if you will–before proffering a serious submission in a contest of this caliber.

   While it is unseemly to quibble, I really feel I needed to address the stink of a tainted selection process. And, too, I join those of you who find Heather’s efforts to be lauditory. Were you, perchance also reading Lyly recently, dear sister in competition? There is a certain *applause* in tone to your subject inherent in its lines…

   Frankly, I, too, find Heather’s piece evocative; please, if Heather lives in a state that has been in any way threatened by any sort of weather pattern in, oh, say, the last six months or so, I insist! Send that DVD off to her with all due alacrity.

8. 8
   Troy
   Posted September 26, 2005 at 4:15 pm

   I’m sorry, Bobbie. But yeah–TVGasm, really. You gave it to the wrong person. How can anyone top “sausage like arms and legs”? In magnets no less? Rematch…rematch…rematch…

9. 9
   GOD
   Posted September 26, 2005 at 4:37 pm

   You all will burn in hell!!!!

10. 10
    Lori
    Posted September 26, 2005 at 6:05 pm

    Wow, great stuff. If any of the other entries are anywhere near as good as these two, please post them! I’m still cracking up over “her fluffy hair, repulsive language”

11. 11
    Fuzzbait
    Posted September 26, 2005 at 11:34 pm

    Beautiful. Now, let’s do snip together: Chenbot’s , “But first”, Rosie screaming,”You’re weird” and Cyble Sheppard as Martha saying, “Rosh Hasana…”
    Bring’s a tear to ma eye…

12. 12
    Ruby
    Posted September 27, 2005 at 6:53 am

    Poor Bobbie seems so very, very proud. It is a shame that an “advanced English teacher” couldn’t be just a tad more imaginative though…….Oh and laudatory is misspelled. Sorry dear.

13. 13
    Holly
    Posted September 27, 2005 at 7:07 am

    Heather’s poem rocks!

14. 14
    Bobbie
    Posted September 27, 2005 at 7:09 am

    Thanks ever so, Ruby, for the peer review. Drat this old Royal I am forced to bang away on! And the white-out only gloms up in chunky clumps between the carbon and the original, so editing at its very best is a messy, messy thing.

15. 15
    ha!
    Posted September 27, 2005 at 7:42 am

    Geez, God – why so harsh? I thought you loved poetry – and humor – and poetic humor.

    And what’s with the burning in hell comment, eh? Couldn’t you address the more immediate future? You know, like earthquakes, windstorms, meteor showers, and the like? Geez.

    ha!

16. 16
    Tootie
    Posted September 27, 2005 at 7:42 am

    I’m as devestated by my loss as Terri Hatcher was at the Emmy’s. This is bullshit!

17. 17
    BSideLover
    Posted September 27, 2005 at 11:47 am

    Bobbie, while I confess to not being blown away by your poem (perhaps it’s because I haven’t seen the magic that is this movie), your commentaries more than make up for it. Funny stuff. And you have a son who lives in Seattle? Why, oh why, can’t my dad be this cool?

18. 18
    B-Side
    Posted September 27, 2005 at 2:16 pm

    Don’t worry everyone. Bobbie and Heather both did wonderful jobs. And I think I’ll be able to get Heather a consolation prize too.

    It’s all about love here people.

19. 19
    Heather
    Posted September 28, 2005 at 8:29 am

    I am delighted at the thought of a consolation prize, I feel the need to bellow, “IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!” I can’t imagine what the prize could be…perhaps a marshmallow covered toilet seat? a curly mullet wig? delicious chocolate flavored cookies? I would love for you guys to rip me a copy of the DVD, but I suppose that isn’t exactly “legal”. I am honored to be a part of this fantastic contest and look forward to whatever you send my way to commemorate my efforts. Cheers, Heather.

20. 20
    jess
    Posted September 28, 2005 at 9:51 am

    Team Bobbie!

    Fantastic!

21. 21
    Jaryn
    Posted September 29, 2005 at 6:57 am

    I don’t know who this Heather person is, but it is pretty obvious that she rocks. And sorry Bobbie, but her poem is way better. I LOVE YOU HEATHER!!