Mariah is so boring. When she’s telling the Brits about her Native American culture, it’s not at all interesting. And really, it SHOULD be. When I went to England, I was fascinated by the fact that their country had been around a LONG time before anyone ever came over to Jamestown or Plymouth Rock or whatever. And to the Brits, someone who’s from a culture that’s been HERE all along is probably pretty interesting. But all they do is ask her about moccasins, their language, and dancing. Ugh. Boring.
That’s okay, because Mariah goes home in episode two, remember? It was the Kris Jenner shoot, and she was boring and/or too sexy for the shoot.
Oh, and then remember that time that the Brits were up late and throwing paper balls at everyone who was trying to sleep, and Seymone got PISSED and chased ‘em around the house, shouting? Well, we get an extended clip of that. It’s exhausting to watch, and really, all it is is: Seymone’s grumpy because she’s tired and isn’t a “typical female” that enjoys being a loud asshole. (I guess I’m not a typical female either.) And then it got angry and ugly and people were pushing other people with their chests, etc. No good. Make it stop.
More of Eboni’s very slow rapping. (“It’s eleven hours, it’s gon’ take all day”) Sophie tries a slow rap and it’s awful. And there was the Intoxibella naming ceremony. Yuck. Shut up.
And then it was the Very.com shoot, where the teams had to coordinate the whole thing from top to bottom, and Louise was running around the set, and Kelly told her to watch her energy, and Louise was like, “My energy is fine, thank you.” and then at panel, Kelly said Louise was rude, and Louise said, “No no no, YOU were rude to ME!” and walked off and threatened to kick Kelly’s ass if she were standing outside right now, etc. And Louise went home. Done.
There’s a segment about how sloppy everyone was. Trash all over, never doing dishes, panties on the floor for days. Hair everywhere. Azmarie was the only one who cleaned. And cleaned. And cleaned. And one time, Sophie washed A dish, and everyone cheered. And she played it up for the cameras, “I used the water thing and squirted it on this white thing and I used a sponge to rub it down.” Stupid.
Then there was that British high hats and American low-riders shot, and that girl went home. Who? Candace? Yeah, her. She was pretty boring. Sophie and Ashley make fun of her boringness.
Never before seen footage of Ashley kissing the camera and them having to wipe it off. So funny! (not.)
Visit from Beverly Johnson at the house! Pep talk! No limitations, girls! Then Toronto Fashion week episode! Go-sees, some girls didn’t book any shows. Seymone had a shitty attitude. No one liked it. And then it was the maple syrup shoot! That useless shoot. Ashley, Not Shirley Manson, got sent home. She was cute, but I didn’t miss her.
Then Sandra Bernhardt comes to the house to let the girls know there’s going to be a music video episode! Screams! Someone (that woman with the ODDDDDDD accent) from a British girl band is here to coach the Brits, while a Pussycat Doll no one’s heard of before is here to coach the Americans.
This was my favorite episode of this whole show. It was AWESOME. Some girls sucked so very badly, like Azmarie and “Hi, I’m Kyle!”. We get some extended footage of all this nonsense, but it’s really nothing notable. Just more of the awesomeness. BUT, this episode also covered the “tooch training”, remember? Azmarie refused to put on the training butt, so she didn’t get to learn all the tooch poses. The other girls did, though, and they even had a tooch battle at the studio. Again, more of the same. But fun. This was a good episode.