ANTM: Faux Fur Follies

Recaps

By P-Baby Walker | Saturday, March 26, 2011 | 9:00 am | 26 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: America's Next Top Model, Featured, Recaps

Hi Gasmii!  P-Baby here with the latest episode of America’s Next Top Model starring my Bravo guilty pleasure # 3 Rachel Zoe.  Guys, I love this bitch.  Who are the other Bravo guilty pleasures?  I’m so glad you asked!

1.  The Real Housewives of Orange County:  I’m am psychotically addicted to the first and best (in my professional sofa sloth opinion) Housewives franchise.  I’ve watched this show since jump street and fully intend to keep watching until my predicted series finale wedding of Tamra to her “soulmate” Eddie or until God decides he’s had enough and shakes Orange County into the black orifice it spawned from.

tamra bathtub

2.  Work Out. This show is/was awesome because the personal trainers and gym workers did not give a rat’s ass about the physical condition of their clients in the slightest.  Also, I go to the gym a lot.  Despite my overall penchant for laziness and cookies, I supplement that by workouts 4-5 times a week.  No one, and I mean absolutely fucking no one, looks like this guy at my gym.

gregg work out

3. Rachel Zoe.  If I ever become able to tune out natural disasters, major years long wars in the Middle East, nuclear meltdowns, AIDS, poverty, illiterate children, obesity, etc all in favor of finding Anne Hathaway the perfect Oscar gown, then I’ll consider my life a major success.  It would be pure uneducated, untainted, ignorant bliss to live in a dimension where the only reading material is Vogue and the only sustenance is water, lemon zest, and coffee grounds.  Current events are lame anyway.

rachel zoe twinkies

All right, let’s get to it.  These Twinkies aren’t going to eat themselves.

As they do every week, the girls arrive back at the Laxative Lair, oohing and ahhing over Kasia’s win at panel.  Kasia is kind of growing on me because she’s always smiling, and I’m pretty sure I’m smarter and skinnier than her so she’d make a good side kick.

Pop Quiz for my ANTM devotees:  What is the outcome when a girl (Dalya) talks about having the upper hand in the competition (she doesn’t) due to past modeling experience within the first 3 minutes of an episode.  Please select one of the answers below.

a. Shaves head in a psychotic meltdown and pops Tylenol PM in a final desperate attempt at attention getting, only to pass out face first into a post-dinner purge filled toilet bowl.

b. Wins the whole damn thing, flips Tyra the bird and rides off into the sunset on the back of one Andre Leon Talley after revealing a behind the scenes torrid love affair.

c.  Goes back to obscurity within the next 43 minutes.

dalya screwed

Meanwhile, Alexandria is upset about being in the bottom two and getting called out again for essentially being a bitch on a stick.  She tells us at home she’s really just an easy going, artistic California beach bum to which I say.  Bitch.  Please.  My brother-in-law is a beach bum.  I could literally roll his truck off a cliff, sell his dog to hookers, and harvest his kidneys and dude would just ask me to spot him a $5 and shuffle his way on down the beach whistling.  Alexandria, on the other hand, loses her shit when her towel that was RIGHT HERE on the corner of the bath tub is no longer there.  It’s a communal bathroom shared with 8 other women.  I lose things in my bathroom shared with one Mr P-Baby.  Stuff happens.

eating

It’s hard to see in this picture but whoever used Alexandria’s towel may want to rethink that cuz girlfriend had a bunch of something covered up with ointment when I watched in HD.  I’m not too good to cover up a blemish here or there with toothpaste before bed but this bitch had it spread out like chicken pox all over.  What up with that?

Strange medical ailments aside, Tyra Mail chimes in. Every good lesson starts with a good foundation.  The next day, the girls arrive at some studio and are greeted by Jay who blathers on for awhile about how important being a Covergirl is but seriously, we get it.  This has only been on for 16 Cycles.  We know the sun rises and sets on Covergirl’s sweet ass cheeks so let’s move on.

This challenge literally has 95 pieces to it so here are the most important ones as I got confused when Jay was listing them.  I used to eat Play-Doh when I was little and while I never thought there were lasting effects, I may be sadly mistaken

1.  Make a “Get The Look” online video.  No boobs or nipple shots allowed.

2. Make said video by splitting into 3 teams of 3.  The girls should be able to achieve this fairly easily.  Even Monique can count to 3.

monique 3

3.  Each team gets assigned one specific look and are given a range of Covergirl products to use in order to create this look, emphasizing some bullshit green bottle natureluxe foundation that I can safely say I will never, ever use.

4.  There’s some more stuff about having time limits for plotting, directing, writing, and stuff but this is getting boring and I don’t think any of us really care this explicitly about the ins and outs of this stupid, stupid challenge.

The group break down is as follows:  Group 1 is Kasia (Writer), Brittani (Director), and Mikaela (talent) with an assigned look of evening/glamorous.  Group 2 is Jaclyn (Writer), Dalya (Talent), and Hannah(Director) with an assigned look of bold, colorful eyes.   Group 3 is Monique (Director), Molly (Writer) and Alexandria (Talent) and their assigned look is daytime/casual.

mikaela bored

Gasmii, I’d love to tell you that these idiots knocked this video out of the park but as to be expected when any sort of work is required that doesn’t involved pouting and posing, the videos are really fucking awful.  Dalya, in particular, has the personality of a toaster.  But even my toaster surprises me from time to time by burning the shit out of my bagels and leaving the other side untouched.

So instead of dragging this on longer than necessary, here’s some pretty pictures, yay!

hannah pigtails

betty veronica

So Jay declares Group 1 the winners which is fine by me because Brittani seems like she’s cooking with all burners, the aforementioned reasons I like Kasia, and because Mikaela’s eyebrows haunt me at night.  Their one minute video will supposedly be posted on the Covergirl website which is a terrible prize because no one will watch it and these bitches don’t get any make up to supplement the win.  Not even a Lash Blast.  Lame.

Tyra Mail: Tomorrow get ready to take a walk on the wild side.  The  models guess correctly that it has something to do with wild animals but that’s all boring compared to this astonishing fact:

alexandria hellbreather

Alexandria tries to pass off her piss poor attitude on the fact that her parents split up due to abuse and she had to raise her siblings.  But to quote a wise man named Leroy, current star of The Real World Las Vegas, you can’t blame being a psychopath on your past as plenty of people with fucked up pasts are perfectly functioning grown ups. (That’s the summarized version.  In other news, I’ve officially reached a new low in using a Real World cast member as a voice of reason.)

While Alexandria is on the phone with Napoleon, Monique does a complete 360, lets the bitch flag fly, and in a fury of awesome decides to read Alexandria’s diary.  Guys, Monique may have Popples turning the cogs in her head but girlfriend is a bitch of the best variety and for that, my hat’s off.  We can go back and forth about how reading diaries is an invasion of privacy, but I beg of you to consider this.

1.  Alexandria is a wenchbag.

2.  She keeps a diary

3.  She is not a fictional character of female young adult literature circa 80s/90s.

What up Diary,

Today, Kristy and Mary Anne said I wasn’t nice enough to help babysit for all those Pike kids even though that stupid ginger Mallory is allowed to.  So what if she’s related to them?  I’m so sick of their shit.  And another thing. What is with this New York City bitch Stacey trying to dress like me?  Doesn’t she know there’s only room for one snotty blond in the group?   I don’t know why I even want to hang out with these losers, except for Claudia.  Girlfriend has a stash of Hostess products like I’ve never seen all hidden up in her tie dyed high top collection.  I’ve got to find a new crew, stat.

Peace,

Alexandria

alexandria prude

Monique doesn’t discover anything too earth-shattering in the diary except for the fact that Alexandria doesn’t just reserve sad emoticons for sexting Napoleon pictures of her flesh lips.  I would feel bad for Alexandria if I didn’t fully expect for her to be a insufferable twat next week.  It’s pretty anticlimactic since Monique doesn’t get caught, even wavering for a bit if she should tell Alexandria about the snooping to which I shout a resounding no.  Then the Monique I’m beginning to love gets jostled by the Popples and decides it’s in her best interest not to.  Good work, Popples!

pinky brain

Diarygate 2.0 wraps up and the girls are off the next day to their photoshoot.  Today, we’ll not have Rachel Zoe on hand as I previously thought.  Instead will have her QVC line of fake fur vests.  What the fuck?   If you’re going to get someone like Rachel Zoe on tap, while in dire need of a lifetime supply of lunchables, might just be the best in her line of work, than have a bitch style the damn shoot.  Damn it, Banks.

The setting for the shoot is the old LA Zoo and the concept is that along with the ugly fake fur vests, they’ll be nuzzling a baby jaguar named Murato.  That thing is beautiful from afar but I don’t want it’s sharp wild feline baby teeth near me.  Another reason why Monique and I are BFF this episode?  In a world of cat lovers, she’s not afraid to admit she hates cats.  I hate cats too.  And kids.

jay and jaguar

The make up and styling gets underway and it’s….interesting….in a Rocky Horror Picture Show Walk of Shame kind of way.  Unfortunately, that is not what I’m watching, which I’d so RATHER be watching right now.  Posing and vests and pelt and eyebrows and jaguars and 10 minutes later it’s over.  Does anyone else remember photo shoots being at least slightly more intriguing in seasons past?  Because really, if I’m missing Boston Rob for this, then I want to see some shit go down.

But…PICTURES!

hannah jaguar

kasia photo shoot

Backstage at panel, Tyra greets Rachel Zoe who will be guest judging on the panel.  I’d like to see what Rachel thinks of Tyra’s Cheaties.  Rachel’s Cheaties probably consist of 3 hits off a hookah and a slice of cucumber.

rachel tyra

Well we better get to judging since SOMEONE clearly can’t keep his hands off his weiner.

nigel weiner

1.  Jaclyn.  This certainly won’t make Nigel unhand Little Nigel.

jaclyn final

2.  Mikaela.  Never have I been more convinced of an undercover Vulturri amongst the commoners.

mikaela final

3.  Molly.  I know it’s Molly but all I’m getting is a rode hard put away wet 33 year old Taylor Swift.

molly final

4.  Monique.  Monique is in it to win it.

monique final

5.  Kasia.  Kasia’s allergic to everything which is why she sucked at holding the wild animal cat.  I know how that goes.  Once, I held a guinea pig and then scratched my eye afterwards.  It basically fell out of my head.  Add guinea pigs to the list of living things I hate.

kasia final

6.  Dalya.  Dalya is not going to take this competition guys.  She’s just not.

dalya final

7.  Brittani.  The judges love her.  I kind of love her.

brittani

8.  Alexandria.  Even the cat doesn’t like her.

aleandria final

9. Hannah.  I’m getting a lot of Christina Aguilera mess from this one.

hannah final

So after deliberation, the judge award Hannah with best photo.  She’s fine I suppose and I like the way she sassed Alexandria so go Hannah.  Molly and Dalya were bottom two and as we’ve known for the past 42 minutes, Dalya is ousted.  That’s all for tonight, Gasmii!  See you all next week!


P-Baby Walker is a Pez-collecting, Archie Comic reading, Elvis loving, self-appointed movie sensei.  Lack of sunlight, fresh air and a bloodstream composed of Diet Pepsi causes her moods to air on the side of salty, resulting in endless disgruntled opinions for the world to enjoy.  Due to overall lack of motivation to do anything else, P-Baby has recently started writing more of her musings on pop culture at Mrs. Catalano Presents...  When she's not in the midst of her ongoing epic battle between love and hate for Nicolas Cage, she spends an abnormal amount of time watching B movies on Netflix.  She hopes to meet John Waters one day and thank him for his contributions to the film industry.

26 Comments

  1. 1
    (J)ustPeachy
    Posted March 26, 2011 at 9:32 am

    Monique really redeemed herself this episode. I kinda like Britknee, too. The screengrabs just keep getting better. xo

  2. 2
    georgiababe
    Posted March 26, 2011 at 12:10 pm

    I didn’t like Molly’s photo, but I don’t think it was her fault. The judges were like “oh, we can’t even see the vest” but DUH, it’s because the PHOTOGRAPHER ZOOMED IN. It’s not like Molly stood right in front of the camera. I call shenanigans, because I’m sure that she wouldn’t have hunkered down like that in all of her photos. Whatevs.

    Favorites, same as ever: Brittani, Molly, Hannah

    Monique is a girl that I don’t mind watching, but I don’t think I’d want to be friends with her. I don’t care how mean Alexandria might be, invading someone’s privacy like that is heinous.

    Also, that baby jaguar was ridiculously adorable. I am a huge cat lover and he reminded me so much of my kitten. Except she’s much smaller, so her claws and teeth are not quite so dangerous.

  3. 3
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted March 26, 2011 at 1:30 pm

    But P-Baby, didn’t you see the episode where even “that guy” admits he doesn’t normally look like that and gave Erica tips on how to look ripped for a photo shoot? And they amounted to “fuck up your body as much as possible by not drinking any water and only eating meat for two days?” Every time I see him in the Bowflex commercials I might sigh and say “I miss Work Out.” Or, “I miss seeing him shirtless on Work Out.”

    As for Alexandria’s ointment, I’m sure the evil is just oozing out of her pores so what you actually saw was spackle to keep her evil firmly in place. Wouldn’t want to lose a drop of it.

    The photo shoots DID used to be more entertaining. Because they used to employ entertaining people to do the hair and makeup who would talk about woodland creatures waking them up in the morning, or look like the hottest homeless guy in LA, but they fired Sutan and Christian and now while we can watch Sutan in drag on RPDR, which is magical, ANTM shoots have been boring ever since.

    And Play Doh was delicious.

  4. 4
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted March 26, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    I must confess, I’ve worn pigtails as an adult. But only once, and it was to a Green Bay Packers game. I put green and gold ribbons on ‘em for the occasion.

    Gasmi…should I apologize?

  5. 5
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted March 26, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    Oh…and I would have been a disaster at this photo shoot, because a kitten that adorable would make it impossible to stop smiling.

  6. 6
    Rach
    Posted March 26, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    I find it wholly adorable that Alexandria in her new tude to not be a bitch was like “I need to learn my liiiiiiineees.” to the other girls. I find it pretty cool that Monique didnt stab her with Cover Girls Natureluxe foundation I sure would.
    Also the look on Rachel Zo’s (not ZoE) face when Kasia came forward (how dare a FAT girl wear her clothes, she MUST be CHEAP if she eats)
    and then said the whole thing about being cheap. I wanted to yell at the tv about her wrinkled smokers face that reminds me of a california raisan. My secret love Nicole Ritchie did say it best :)
    I think that Hannah? (pigtails) is going to win, not cause I like her but because the judges arent bringing up the fact that she always is wearing pigtails like an idiot.
    I dont know about the rest of you but I dont like any of the girls this cycle, they all bore me and I am not rooting for any of them like I was last cycle (jane, ann, esther). I read somewhere that Alexandria DOES win but I find that highly doubtful considering girlfriend is like 20 but looks 30ish without makeup on. But it has not been brought up so what does anyone else think?

  7. 7
    xxodettexx
    Posted March 26, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    my favs: hannah, brittani, monique, molly

    monique really moved up in my estimation this week.. yes, it was a horrible invasion of privacy but monique didnt stab alexandria in the throat at the shoot, like *i* would have done, so i give her massive credit… and she even felt bad that she didnt see anything writtena bout the girls in the diary, whereas i was laughing my ass off on the floor at home

    i dont take this show too seriously, just enjoy the whole hour of pure chuckles and pretty pictures… :) its a really nice tension reliever for me!

  8. 8
    Tadow
    Posted March 26, 2011 at 7:12 pm

    Geez! thanks for blabbing about some spoiler you read somewhere else. If I cared more about this show I could probably get really upset!

  9. 9
    Thatswhatshesaid
    Posted March 27, 2011 at 7:01 am

    Yeah, Rachel Zoe WAS rude! Why think Kasia was cheap? Has she never heard of plus sized models? Kasia was doing pretty good (according to her) before this show too.
    And speaking of which, what is with Tyra including professional models in her show? This isn’t the first season either. I thought the point was to take UNDISCOVERED girls and transform them – the most improved would win. Methinks they’ve monkeyed with the formula to have easier fodder to eliminate. Except for that girl who went to Tyra’s training camp who won (name escapes me – Elisha?) cycles back even though she was a shorty (she introduced the jumping thing in pictures) none of those professionals with prior experience have won. Am I right?

    Also, I’d LOVE the chance to hold that baby jaguar!! Sooooo cute! Was anyone else ANNOYED to keep hearing Monique call it jag-WIRE? what?!

  10. 10
    itchy
    Posted March 27, 2011 at 7:39 am

    Ah, okay, so Alexandria’s now on the ‘redemption’ upswing — they’re giving her a backstory for her bitchiness while at the same time pointing out that she’s just one bitch in a whole puddle of bitches.

    I kind of like the girl with the baby voice right now. It’d be too weird in the dark, though, so we’d have to keep the lights on. Well, it’s more fun with the lights on anyway.

    Hannah’s cute and all, but I don’t see much model there. And Analeigh was even cuter.

    Britknee’s a weird one– from certain ankles, you can clearly see the trailer trash in her profile.

  11. 11
    itchy
    Posted March 27, 2011 at 7:39 am

    “Ankles.” tee hee

  12. 12
    Thatswhatshesaid
    Posted March 27, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    I feel like baby face Jaclyn is playing to the judges with her “Yes ma’ams” I don’t think her voice is fake, but I think her sweetness is an act. They seem to like it so she’s playing up the innocent act. It certainly doesn’t show in her pictures though. Like that movie “Angel”. Student by day, Street walker by night.

  13. 13
    loopygorilla
    Posted March 28, 2011 at 5:59 am

    @Thatswhatshesaid
    i agree with you, i hate that these girls have prior experience or have been represented by agencies before they were dumped and they came on this show as a last chance to get into the industry.
    this show is about discovering “raw” talent, not has been bitches.
    anyway, no wonder they are has been, they are shit models!
    alexandria said she has walked for shows on NY fashion week etc, so i ask…girl why did u come on this show if u were soo experienced?
    same with daliah….
    there are 200million people in america, is it that hard to find a girl with modelling potential?
    i mean sooo many girls were discovered walking down the street.
    as for rachael zo, bitch shouldnt hate women with weight on.
    cuz you know rachael looks like a zombie out of land of the living dead, but when she was pregnant and put on 200grams, she actually need healthy and pretty.
    YES i said rachael zo was pretty… when she was pregnant and weight 200grams more.
    but once she had the baby, she went back to her zombie looks…
    anyway they werent selling anything expensive, it was her shopping channel line which mariah carey uses to sell perfume.
    and why havent the done a shoe ad yet?! hello shoes! i love shoes!
    anyway episode looked boring, so i didnt bother tuning in, i just read your recaps, they are more entertaining.
    and what kinda of a challenge is having models become directors etc?
    I dont see gucci saying to the girls, be the model, direct the ad, write the lines.. GO!
    if you ask me, i prefer they go to walmart and have to run through that place in a stampede, because i LOVE when bitches push each other!!!

  14. 14
    Xouille Xouille
    Posted March 28, 2011 at 7:21 am

    Send all those bitches home and give that adorable baby jaguar a modelling contract cause kitty was working it in that photoshoot.
    Although i have to admit that i liked britknee’s picture : very Cruella De Vil.

    I was surprised at first to see that Rachel Zoe wouldn’t be styling the photoshoot but after seeing her acting like a huge bitch at panel with Kasya maybe it is for the best.
    She couldn’t call her fat so she went for cheap… Rachel you skinny biatch.

    And sometimes i love the editors of this show : following that little BS segment of Alex saying she was not a bitch by her screaming like a banshee in the bathroom over a missing towel was brilliant.

    I am a little “scared” for my girl Molly. Tyra gave her an even worst wig than the first and chose a beauty shot and blamed the girl for not showing the product.
    On the other hand, Hannah-leigh is definitly in the top 2 if not the winner of this cycle : no word about the stupid pigtails + huge praise for an average picture + double standard because she hid the fur vest with the kitty…

    As for diarygate 2.0, i was on team Monique all the way. The hellspawn deserved it for being stupid enough to bring her diary in a house full of nosy girls. It was bound to
    happen anyway.

    @thatswhatshesaid : I agree with you on the whole “already experienced” things.
    I blame Vogue’s influence. You know Tyra must have been critiqued for bringing girls who couldn’t walk properly, etc.
    And the girl discovered by Tyra, it was Saleisha, cycle 8 winner and one of the least deserving winner in the history of this show (it is a toss up between her and cycle 10 Whitney aka Ana Nicole’s little sister)

  15. 15
    juddfan
    Posted March 28, 2011 at 4:08 pm

    Agreed with all and love the spirited debate. If I laid my diary around, I’d be sure to put some bull in there to stir either sympathy or drama. I think Alex knows just what a bitch she is, and is playing herself to the nth! Tyra telling her this is the last time was her secret message to tone it down on set.

    I have to give props to baby voiced Jackie . . . I’ve thought she was funny in the past, but she is growing for me with her fierceness in photo’s etc. The pencil drop will be one of my faves for sure.

    I feel for Molly, and I have no idea who in heck thought yellow curly hair was a good look for anything or anyone. Completely awful in every way, just admit you’re wrong Banks!

    Nigel is bringing the smarm . . . who’s he eyeing? I ask, as she will be in the final 3 and get a special shoot with him, wink wink, and barf barf! It’s bringing him down notches, sadly.

    Missed the shade from Zo/Zoe (it’s not the e, really!?–I can’t spell to save my life, but I so thought it had an e) but seriously, if you have to have the body fat of a chicken wing that’s been left in the sun to whither and crisp-I think fashion is wrong. I swear if she laid naked next to a mummy I”d only know it’s her by the spray tan. Not a good look. Not sure how old she is either, but she would benefit from a little fat love in those crinkles.

    Sadly, this years plus is fiercely real, the smallest of all so far, so if she still was giving tude–oh well. Also, besides Molly’s there was another pick with no baby jag at all. Can’t remember who.

    If you ask me, Brittany is bringing it again and again. I believe her portfolio to date would be a knockout.

  16. 16
    P-Baby Walker
    Posted March 28, 2011 at 6:28 pm

    If I ever go on a reality show and you all are my roommates, I fully expect you to read my diary if I am stupid enough to write in a diary and leave it unsupervised. I won’t judge you for it and may or may not leave secrets to a buried treasure within its pages. That is all.

  17. 17
    juddfan
    Posted March 28, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    I love it P-Baby, we can all hold up in some hotel and force ourselves to do random challenges-way to make us put our money where our mouths are-HA!

    Meant to add, I too am a cat lady, I love my little rescues and that Jag was a baby dreamboat! When I’m done with my gay bob avatar, I’ll have to use some kitty pics!

  18. 18
    Thatswhatshesaid
    Posted March 28, 2011 at 9:40 pm

    That baby Jag WAS rockin’ it! Loved the photo of it with that huge yawn! He seemed as bored with the shoot as we were. :)

    Poor Molly. Somebody should have gotten fired for those atrocious weaves. Why even let them stay?! And those are PROFESSIONAL beauticians?! C’MON SON!!

    Yes, Saleisha was the girl. She wasn’t spectacular, but it was obvious she was going to win. How could someone trained by Tyra herself NOT win?! Ugh!

  19. 19
    loopygorilla
    Posted March 28, 2011 at 10:42 pm

    lol P-Baby if we were all on ANTM, i wanna be the delusional one aka Jade, Angelea etc.

    *In my best bitchy-tude*
    Yeh, these girls got nothing on me! I’m not here to make friends, Aint that right bitch, tyra can cancel the entire show now, because I am America’s next top model.

    (And when im confronted for being a bitchy delusional bitch)
    OMG i had a tough childhood growing up, i was a pseudo lesbian homeless slept in a sleeping bag until i was 14 and my mom and dad split up so i had to become the mother and look after my 8 brothers and sisters and i breast fed my baby brother until he was 3 years old. And i was called a giant freak at school cuz i was too tall.

  20. 20
    itchy
    Posted March 28, 2011 at 11:26 pm

    Okay, sure, you might read someone’s diary. But then you wouldn’t pretend you’re some innocent angel while calling everyone else bitches, right?

    Although, of course, the only reason to keep a journal is to hope someone will read it. Kids. This, too, is one of the good parts of getting older.

  21. 21
    Kizzy
    Posted March 29, 2011 at 12:14 am

    Shout out to the Baby-Sitters Club??? AWESOME!!! Who would want to sit for those Pike brats anyway? Best to kick it with Kishi with her exotic almond shaped eyes. Mallory is a silly Billy goo goo.

  22. 22
    Xouille Xouille
    Posted March 29, 2011 at 4:32 am

    Yes P-Baby, if we were all in this house, I would read your diary ;)
    Probably just by sheer curiosity… and then I would stir some shit, because stirring shit is fun.
    I would be like… hey Monique you wanna know what P-Baby wrote in her diary about you… and then i would make me some popcorn to eat while witching the bitchfest. ^^

    Damn I have to fnid myself a stupid excuse when I’m confronted about it… How about I live in a trailer park, have burn marks and in two years I will be blind ?

  23. 23
    itchy
    Posted March 29, 2011 at 5:21 am

    “Damn I have to fnid myself a stupid excuse when I’m confronted about it… How about I live in a trailer park, have burn marks and in two years I will be blind ?”

    Depends. Can you sing?

  24. 24
    loopygorilla
    Posted March 29, 2011 at 6:22 pm

    OMG now we can all be bony toothpicks!

    Karl Lagerfeld just realised a new brand of Diet Coke. and i mean as it coke cola. not the colombian kind.
    but then its karl lagerfeld, so who knows, maybe it is the colombian kind.
    omg now i can be starving drinking my karl lagerfeld diet coke.

  25. 25
    Xouille Xouille
    Posted March 30, 2011 at 12:52 am

    “Depends. Can you sing ?”

    Nope or I would be on Idol milking the hell out of that sob story.
    Then again, if you look at some of the past winners, being a good or even decent singer is not required.

    So… Am I forgiven if I’m also a teen mom who dropped college… and a narcoleptic ?

  26. 26
    itchy
    Posted March 30, 2011 at 2:30 am

    You know that one day they’ll have a reality competition like that.

    This is…..America’s Biggest Sob Story!, featuring your host, Sarah Palin! Your judges: Mel Gibson, Pee Wee Herman and John ‘Who?’ Galliano!

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