Hola, ‘Gasmii! That’s almost all the Spanish I know right now, despite having started Rosetta Stone. I mean, I can tell you that the sky is blue and that the cat is sleeping, but that doesn’t really work in the context of America’s Next Top Model: British Invasion, does it? Unless I say “el modelo es molesto.” C’est vrai, non?
Many, many thanks to Luscious for covering last week. I read the recap on my phone from my hotel bed early one morning, laughing quietly at all the crazy photos and trying not to gasp audibly when I saw that Alisha quit. WTF? She was my girl! She needed to win! At least Eboni is gone, too. Anyway, it was nice to be on vacation, but I’m sad I missed the most exciting episode of the season. Confession: I haven’t actually watched it yet. I only got back the other day and have been mad, mad busy ever since.
By the way, the Grand Canyon and surrounding cool shit was pretty awesome. If you’ve been there, you know. If you haven’t been there, you really owe it to yourself to see it before you die. It is literally awesome. I also had a great time on the trip because, ya know, my boyfriend proposed. And I said yes! Hooray for me!
Yep, I really need a manicure. Which I did the day I got home–funny, there are no nail salons in back-country Arizona.
Okay, enough preparatory work. Let’s recap this bitch.
So, we’re left with Laura as the lone American left in the competition. Sophie and Annaliese are the last two Brits. I knew Laura and Sophie would make it to the end, but I admit surprise that Annaliese is still there. But they keep playing up her “not a high fashion model” storyline so much, I wonder if she’s the dark horse to win it? I don’t think so, but I like speculating. Plus, my girl Alisha is gone, so who cares anymore? oh, the ennui.
They’re still in Asia, apparently. Like, Hong Kong. And they’re all mentally replaying the panel from the last night. (Or THAT night.) Poor Alisha, that meltdown. And Eboni’s like, “Oh well” but rubbing her arm in comfort. That’s actually sweet. Sophie’s like, “Alisha, girl, you should have just hung in there two more seconds…you could have seen me win the whole thing.” (What do you think?)
Why the hell did they just subtitle Laura? “I’m the last American” needed to be subtitled? Do they run focus groups to make sure everyone can hear everyone okay? How strange. Anyway, Annaliese muses how she’s the underdog, Sophie muses about how hard she’s worked, and Laura’s just cocky with bright white hair.
Oh, so Laura was winning photo last week, too. Well, good for her. The girl really does pull through in photos, as strange as she looks in real life. Have I mentioned before that I’m tired of hearing her sob story?
Tyra Mail! “Get up and go for it”. So it’s an alarm clock challenge! “Who can wake up the prettiest and on time?” Okay, probably not.
oh, it’s go-sees. Laura curses. She doesn’t do well on go-sees. Probably because she’s strange in person! Here’s where personality goes a long way, as it does for Annaliese and Sophie. (And I’m reminded of that exchange in Pulp Fiction. “But pigs have personality.” “That’s gotta be one charming motherfucking pig.”) Plus, her walk sucks.
“Oh, darn it to heck!”
The next AM, the girls are heading out to these go-sees. They step onto the ferry to take them to the other side, and there’s that hag Kelly. Wow, that olive-green and black look just does NOTHING for her. But seing that greasy black hair reminds me that I wanted to do a little hair-dye action on myself tonight. (Red, not black!) Thanks, Kelly!