ANTM MiniCap

Recaps

By P-Baby Walker | Thursday, April 28, 2011 | 8:00 am | 14 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , ,
Posted in: America's Next Top Model, MiniCaps, Recaps

America's Next Top Model

It feels like forever since the last recap, Gasmii!  Last week was a repeat followed by a highlights show which I spent none of my time watching.  Instead, I watched my DVR’d American Idol, Survivor, my DVR’d Spice World movie and a billion episodes of The Good Wife on Netflix.  Another time filler?  The Royal Wedding!  I am shitting myself with excitement over the Royal Wedding.  I am so excited that I capitalize Royal Wedding like it is a proper noun.  Anyway, the point is, I’m well-rested, all caught up on my stories as Mr. P-Baby calls them, and back in action.

Did anyone else forget these bitches were going to Morocco?  Because they are there now.  I’ll bet three out of the five of the remaining wunderkind still think they are in the United States somewhere that is inordinately populated with camels and sand.  The models do some sightseeing and appear genuinely excited to be there.

This just in.  Brittani works at a bar back home in PA where she proudly displays the skin of snakes that she’s killed and cooked for dinner.  No surprises there.

Later in the day, the girls enjoy a traditional Moroccan lunch that would leave me shitting in my drawers for days.  We’re ten minutes into this and all it has been so far is Brittani rambling about living in a trailer and Kasia talking about how even though she’s fat, she wants to win.  I wonder who the bottom two will be.

There’s some nonsense that occurs with modeling a couture Moroccan design for Andre Leon Talley and none of the dresses fit Kasia.  That sucks.  Good thing she’s in Morocco so she can get the runs for a few days and shed some pounds.  Not that she needs to but homeslice is on a modeling show full of stick insects who make Gumby look obese.  So no winner was announced.  The hell?  Molly is getting irritated because she can’t be bothered to compete on this show, model, or take in the culture.  Bitch just wants to sleep.  Bitch can sleep in her Mainstays Walmart sheets twin bed back home.  For now, she should go ride a camel and get the fuck over it.

Gasmii, the model house in Morocco is nicer than their tacky pad in California.  It’s super exotic and Pier 1-esque if Pier 1 was full of legit international things and beautiful tiling instead of overpriced, over glue-gunned tschotskes.

Tyra mail has the word hump in it so either these bitches are getting gang-banged by Nigel and the Jays or riding a camel for some pictures.  Probably the latter despite much protesting from Nigel.  Jay informs the girls that camels can be pissy twats and appears to have found the angriest camel in all the land.  I can’t wait for one of the models to fall or get spit on by this nasty camel bitch.  Once again a drama free photo shoot so and I’m so ready for this season to end.  Check back in a few days for the full recap and to see who stays in the harem another day.



P-Baby Walker is a Pez-collecting, Archie Comic reading, Elvis loving, self-appointed movie sensei.  Lack of sunlight, fresh air and a bloodstream composed of Diet Pepsi causes her moods to air on the side of salty, resulting in endless disgruntled opinions for the world to enjoy.  Due to overall lack of motivation to do anything else, P-Baby has recently started writing more of her musings on pop culture at Mrs. Catalano Presents...  When she's not in the midst of her ongoing epic battle between love and hate for Nicolas Cage, she spends an abnormal amount of time watching B movies on Netflix.  She hopes to meet John Waters one day and thank him for his contributions to the film industry.

14 Comments

  1. 1
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted April 28, 2011 at 10:09 am

    I’ve watched a few of the old seasons lately (they run all the episodes back-to-back on some channel on Saturdays.) With the exception of Whitney’s season, once it gets down to the final 8, just pick out the thinnest girl. That’s who has won every time, regardless of how she’s done on the commercial, go-sees, or anything else.

    So much for Tyra trying to encourage a healthier body image.

  2. 2
    ohralphie
    Posted April 28, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    Any idea on what Alexandria thought she was doing wearing a hand towel on her head throughout the episode? Perhaps she thought she was being culturally sensitive when in reality she looked like she was stealing Sylvester Stallones look from Rocky.
    I do wonder how the Jays translate to the (perhaps religiously/culturally less tolerant) locals. I haven’t seen that much lip gloss and eye liner since my 8th grade ‘formal’.

  3. 3
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted April 28, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    Okay, first — Am I the only one who imagines that it’s Andre Leon Talley shouting the “Oh! Oh! All the ladies!” during the credits song? Because I picture him doing that every. Single. Time. No? Just me?

    Second, I think this cycle has more girls with bad attitudes than any other cycle. No, they’re not all outright mean, but they’re just so damn negative and mopey. Neither Molly, Brittani, nor Alexandria are any girls that I’d want representing my brand or business. Why do they hate nice girls this cycle?

    Third, the photographer this week was the most insufferable pretentious douche I’ve ever seen on television. I don’t like Alexandria, but why give her shit for saying “I want to knock it out of the park?” What a pompous a-hole.

  4. 4
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted April 29, 2011 at 6:57 am

    I’ve fallen off my ANTM watching in recent cycles, but I’m all about the next cycle’s All-Stars season, if the casting is done well. Does anyone have any idea who will be cast? I would love to have Cycle 6 Jade, but I think she’s too old. Maybe Cycle 9′s Bianca? Any ideas?

  5. 5
    kenzie
    Posted April 29, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    i agree with hypnotoad, that photag than put in a bad word of mouth to tyra about alexendria.. saying she wants to dierect the shoot and was talking back when the photag asked her “what needs to happen to get a better shot from you” and she said “maybe dierect myself.” and appearently that’s when she “wanted to dierect the shoot”
    SOMETIMES, being a photagrapher means letting the model do her thing and you snapping away! dip shit.
    ALSO appearently when he was giving her a talk and she was agreeing saying “okay..okay..okay” thats considerd TALKING BACK!! wwhaat a fucking bitch.. i hated him. but lets not forget MR Jay mentioned alexendria’s past photoshoots to him so that he’d be a dick to her on this one.

  6. 6
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted April 29, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    Derek, are you sure they’re doing an All-Stars edition? I’ve seen ads for casting calls for the next cycle all throughout this one.

  7. 7
    jahna
    Posted April 29, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    That whole thing with Alexandria and the photographer seemed to be set-up to me. Maybe for dramatic effect, Jay told the photographer to be tough on her. Who knows? It just didn’t ring true to me.

  8. 8
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted April 29, 2011 at 5:21 pm

    I stand corrected! They ARE doing an all-star cycle — and the casting must have been for the next cycle (the CW renewed it for both yearly cycles). My bad and apologies!

  9. 9
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted April 29, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    USA Network is running the 4th (and worst) Indiana Jones movie right now. Brittani’s hair looks just like the Nazi woman’s in this (lousy) movie.

  10. 10
    Hypnotoad Hypnotoad
    Posted April 29, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    Dude, that’s Cate Blanchett! Recognize! If only Brittani had the grace of Cate Blanchett. Or, for that matter, the Nazi woman she plays in the film.

  11. 11
    Rach
    Posted April 29, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    She was a Russian in that movie lol. I cant believe they did not send Alexandria home what happened to nest time bad attitude YOU GO? Tyra is such a hypocrite and Franca looks like a swamp thing. She terrifies me

  12. 12
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted April 29, 2011 at 11:41 pm

    @ Hypnotoad, I found this article on another website:

    http://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/archives/top_model_17/2011_Apr_27_all_star

    However, there was no casting information. I also read on EW that there was an all-stars coming up, and they were throwing suggestions for casting. I was just wondering if there were any definites.

  13. 13
    Mila
    Posted April 30, 2011 at 1:56 am

    cattyfan: It was so bad! But funny. I’ll always remember the fridge stunt and that this one guy, after being accused of being a communist, decided to move to East Germany of all places :D

    The all star-thing sounds good. Good like true madness, I mean. Looking forward to it!

  14. 14
    Mila
    Posted April 30, 2011 at 1:57 am

    And how cute is Hannah on this screenshot?? I can’t tell whom or what she reminds me of…

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