Around the World in 80 Plates – Gamba Roja!

Recaps

By Foggywood | Tuesday, May 29, 2012 | 10:55 pm | 7 Comments
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Posted in: Around the World in 80 Plates, Recaps

Again, the Red team gets a 10 minute head start. They throw on their waders and GO! The squid ink proves to be the most difficult to procure and therefore is worth the most Euros.

The Black team finally arrives (Nookie in pre-cardiac arrest mode) and – miracle of miracles – Avery is from Alaska and spent her youth shucking fish rather than learning playground insults. Take note, Chaz! Sure enough, Chaz sucks (!) at filleting the monkfish, while former Barcelonian Nookie is killin’ it. The jokes write themsel…ah, never mind.

Chev/Kev/Gollum takes note of Chaz’s skillz and is already planning on throwing him under the proverbial bus. How about throwing him on top of the proverbial teleferrico de montjuic?

The Nooks is using his Barcelonian skills, giving the fish the what for – while Chaz turns his fish into mush. Needless to say, “Nookie rules, Chaz droolz!”


I see you back there, Chaz!  You drool!

In the end, it comes down to the squid ink which means the Red team wins. The E.I. this week is the Gamba Roja – jumbo red shrimp which is a Catalonian delicacy. Each team is given their money they made and head off to the market place to buy their supplies. I’m actually amazed they didn’t set up a Whole Foods stand and force them to buy everything there. Bravo, always keepin’ it real!

The Red team is already bickering over the menu. Chev/Kev/Gollum pushes the team to find a particular type of sherry and Chaz just about loses it. Can we jettison both of these doofs?

The good news for the Black team is that Nookie has a good sense of what the menu should look like and knows his way around the market.  Nookie may not be able to run too quick but you want him in a marketplace and a casino. 


He specializes in paella and Texas Hold ‘Em

The teams are now hanging around the pool, drinking wine. Backstory time! Avery has two daughters who she misses very much. They are a very cute family. 
Chaz won a silver medal in the Junior Olympics! Well, good for him. I guess. Nicole tells Jenna she has a loud voice which is code, of course, for shut the hell up. Jenna just laughs it off.  Self-awareness, Jenna – you need some.

Jenna decides this is a good time to suggest an alliance, but Nicole isn’t interested. She says she will take care of herself and Jenna should do the same. Ya burnt, Jenna! Again.


Gary agrees with me

Chev/Kev/Gollum continues to be delusional by claiming that “people trust and rely on me.” And to make this clear, Nick calls him out for not listening to others.

The next day they arrive at the restaurant that will host the challenge. It’s a really pretty space that should inform the presentation of their dishes.


How many Bravo fans are going to try and crash this place now?  Oh well, no such thing as bad publicity…

Each team will serve 3 dishes in tandem side by side. Chev/Kev/Gollum is doing front of house for the Red team. This has to be a strategy to get rid of him, right? Why else would they let him around people? His newest claim is that he “will be embraced by the people of Spain.” He says all these things with such seriousness, it’s a little sad. Just because you say it, doesn’t make it true.

Jenna is front of house for the Black team, which makes a bit more sense. A very little bit. She begins to quiz the other members of the team on what they are cooking. Liz is doing the dessert, while Nookie claims to be their team Exceptional Ingredient. He is also not happy that Jenna isn’t helping prep or prepare food at all.

Chev/Kev/Gollum now makes a holocaust joke regarding the fish. SILENCE.  He then says it’s ok to make a holocaust joke because he’s Jewish. AAAAAH!!! And WTF?  The jokes are no longer writing themselves, folks. Sorry.

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Foggywood
About

Jonathan Mallen grew up in San Francisco, went to college at Santa Clara, and has spent the bulk of his youth living and dying in LA.  Don't worry, mostly living.  He has worked as an actor, teacher, limo driver, waiter, personal assistant, office assistant,  script reader, retail associate, etc etc AND etc...  Very glamorous, he knows.  He is very happy to add blogger to his illustrious resume.

7 Comments

  1. 1
    LAC LAC
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 9:14 am

    Great recap!! Yeah, the jokes write themselves…or appear on reality cooking shows. BADA BING!!

    Ok, I will stop….

    Happy for the outcome – Kevin Cheven was muy annoying and mas muy delusional. However, there is not much to like on either team. Jeanna needs to have a 16 ton weight fall down on her. All the hyperventilating about a change in a dessert. Jaysus, does this never happen at a restaurant? And her face when Liz got accolades instead of the doom she predicted was priceless. I thought she has pooped a buick. Nookie… ugh…just when I started to warm up to him, he makes me go on the hate train. First, the “rabbi” comment and then the “there’s no crying in the kitchen” analysis of Liz. You idiots are stressing her out with your doom and gloom crap. And given that your client base is a bunch of overpaid, overfed athletes whose team motto of late has been “meh”, I will take your assessment with a grain of salt.

    Chaz – I need you to stop talking. That and the dramatic temper tantrums are canceling out any eye candy factor for me.

    Still got a girl crush on Avery.

    I was relieved to see Cat. I do not understand why she is MIA during most of the show. For making her pose in that dress, the least Bravo could do is let her be the lead for an episode or two.

    Loved that restaurant. It looked so chic. I am a fan of Jose Andreas. He has a couple of great restaurants here in the DC area and his enthusiasm for food is contagious.

    And that picture of Jenna and Nookie? No explanation needed, just some brain bleach. ;)

  2. 2
    icegirl
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 11:36 pm

    Ok sorry to correct you but Catalonian isn’t an adjective. The correct adjective is Catalan, as in a Catalan accent and a Catalan delicacy. Being of Catalan heritage and fluent in Catalan, this episode bothered me. The Catalan language and culture is not very well known and this episode didn’t portray it accurately and it is just giving people misconceptions. Jose Andres doesn’t have a Catalan accent either, he isn’t from Catalonia and cannot be considered a Catalan chef. If they wanted a Catalan chef they should have had someone like Ferran Adrià. What bothered me is that everything was Spanish. The diners didn’t even bother to speak Catalan when they were critiquing the recipes. If this episode wanted to educate people about Barcelona and the Catalan people then they shouldn’t have spoken so much Spanish.

    I really am starting to like Nookie but for the love of all that is holy Jenna needs to go!

  3. 3
    Foggywood Foggywood
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 11:57 pm

    @icegirl – thank you for correcting me on all of my Catalan fuck-ups. Next time you recap an entire season of a cooking show that travels to different countries every week without messing up here and there, let me know. Asshole.
    I get it dude. You’re Catalan. Get over it.

  4. 4
    ra
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 3:07 am

    @Foggywood,
    Chill out, I was just telling you the proper term. By the way I was not ranting about you. I was ranting about the shitty producers of this show portraying Barcelona and Catalan culture so incorrectly. You didn’t have to call me an asshole, douchebag.
    Your so welcome for my correction :D

  5. 5
    ra
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 3:07 am

    You’re* so welcome

  6. 6
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 3:30 am

    Maybe Cheven really is a rabbi, because he sure taught me that you never know what you’ve got till it’s gone. All this time, I thought I hated him but when he went home, I was genuinely sad. Like…who will I look at with a strange and bittersweet mixture of pity, amusement, disgust and irritation? Who will make me laugh with his delusions of grandeur? I was legitimately upset over here…getting ready to pour out a little sangria for my fallen homie. But then I realized that Chaz and Jenna are still there and they are more than up for the challenge. To use Cheven’s own words, they were just waiting for him to drop the reigns so they could reach over his shoulder and pick them right up. So instead of pouring my drink out, I lifted my glass, toasted to the health of the producers who cast these assholes for my entertainment, and gulped that shit down. Depression (and waste) averted.

    From Day 1, it was clear that Cat Cora was not really about to be in this show. I don’t know why she’s there…maybe for gender equality purposes, but it’s clear that she sure isn’t there to do stuff. Food Network knows what their viewers reallyyy want. *hungrily devours Curtis with my eyes*
    But I don’t feel bad for her at all…I wish I could collect a juicy check for barely showing up to work and only doing so to eat some hopefully delicious foods and wear fabulous cocktail dresses. That shit sounds like a dream come true.

    Also (and this is just a little constructive criticism, so please don’t beat me up like ra) I would like to formally put in a request for pictures of and comments about the food. It is a food show, so I think it would be nice to kind of put a little bit of focus on that.
    The end.
    So please don’t beat me up.

  7. 7
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 4:40 am

    Icey! Haven’t heard from you in a while! Missed you. Mmmmmwwwwwwwaaaaaa.

    And I really did enjoy and appreciate your rant. *grin*

    It is awful when producers are so sloppy in presenting a culture. I know that this isn’t National Geographic, but they can at least do some research. We have been doing a bit o’ ranting over at My Big Fat… Because the producers are making money by showing a spurious depiction of a culture that is actually harmful and perpetuates prejudice. Got my modifiers all skewed, but you get the idea.

    I didn’t take your explanation to be disrespectful to the recapper in any way.

    Out of curiosity and off topic… Sorta… Isn’t the fabulous Charo Catalan?

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