Auditiongasm Finals 2012: Long Island Medium: Fighter One

We get back to the Caputo household where Larry (Theresa’s husband) is working out. He tells Theresa he made an appointment to get more tattoos. Theresa calls this his midlife crisis. He wants to tattoo is dog Petey (Petie? Pety? I’m not sure how they spell it) on himself. That is dedication to a pet.  I mean, I love my cat. Hell, there is even a picture of me sitting on the floor while she is sitting on the recliner behind me. I also love tattoos, however, I’m not going to get a tramp stamp of my cat. Well, to each his own, I guess. We go from one cliché tattoo to another when Larry says he wants to get a koi fish on his arm as well. Theresa agrees to go with him for the appointment.

The next morning (at least that’s how editing makes it look) Theresa is appearing on a local morning radio station to talk about her abilities as a medium. She thinks that people are intrigued by what she does. Steve (the host of the show) wants to understand more about what Theresa does. He asks about what the spirits on the other side are doing. Theresa says that there are about 500 of them just staring at her right now. Wait, what? This is what the afterlife is like? People just sit around and stare at a medium? Theresa is really entertaining and she seems like a pretty nice person, but I don’t want to spend eternity staring at her. If that’s all we do, can Edward Norton with his body from “American History X” (minus the racist tattoos) please become a medium?

Steve asks Theresa if being a medium has changed her religious beliefs. She explains that she is a practicing Catholic and that this has, in fact, strengthened her faith. However, it is sometimes difficult for her because talking to the dead goes against her religious beliefs. Steve then asks what she thinks of skeptics. She simply says that she respects them. She doesn’t have a cult or a club that anyone has to join and she doesn’t think that anyone has to believe that she is for real. Uh oh, Steve tells us that they’ve got a surprise for Theresa. Her first guess is that she’ll be dipped in Jell-O. Really, Theresa? You do know you’re on the radio, right? Dipping someone in Jell-O would make no sense in that context. Oh! They bring in a group of eight skeptics! We go to commercial. Is this going to be the episode where Theresa is found out as a fraud?

Of course that’s not what happens. This is pretty easy to figure out when you remember that there is another episode immediately after this one. Also, I’m pretty sure that the show has been renewed for a third season. So, why are these people skeptics? One woman speaks up and says that she has been to a medium before and was told things that were wildly untrue. Theresa tells this woman that her sister has just died and she is coming forward. Theresa asks if the sister died of something from the head. The answer is yes, she had a brain tumor. That seems like a pretty vague reading right away. “Something from the head” could be a lot of things – trauma (in a car accident, a fall), a brain aneurysm, a stroke, being shot, as well as the brain tumor that the woman mentioned. You may have to try a bit harder with a skeptic, Theresa. 

Theresa tells this woman that there was just a baby born in the family. The sister held the baby’s soul before he was born into the physical world. Theresa also mentions the sister’s watch and that the woman in the studio has the watch. She says she held it the other day when she was cleaning. OK, that one is a bit of a stretch. Is this woman still a skeptic? She interviews that she doesn’t know. She thinks she’s almost there – it’s like she’s having a psychic orgasm. 

Wait, why did they only show one person’s reading? Did Theresa read the others in the room as well? Is this just a trick of editing? Maybe this would make people less skeptical of mediums if she were able to read all of them instead of just one woman.  I guess I can let it slide because it is only a half-hour show.