Auditiongasm Finals 2012: My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding Fighter Two

Louann and Pat Baby show up to invite boys to their Halloween party make sure their girl isn’t compromised by the evil Gorgers. Obviously, there are bigotry issues between Gorgers and Gypsies. Sadly, the Gorger girls are viewed and described as slutty and dirty by the Gypsies. I’m trying not to judge, but I just keep seeing Priscilla’s “second outfit” and if that ain’t slutty, ladies and gents, then I’m a vestal virgin mother of 4. 

Priscilla explains it (I’m paraphasin, ya’ll): “We may look like strippers, dress like strippers and dance like strippers, but we don’t touch the customers boys.” So. . .you’ll work the pole, you just won’t do a lap dance? Look. Intolerance from any faction is ass. 

Louann has found a new venue. Mean Romani girls, Ashley & Amber toot their own horns. Silly girls have NO IDEA what Priscilla is gonna be sportin’. There’s a little scene with Romani Ashley and her folks, where it becomes obvious that, despite her earlier blustering about jobs/independence and whatnot, she will do what she’s told and kowtow to some gypsy boy in the future. My heart does tug a bit seeing her visibly distressed. Damn.

Pat Baby’s favorite place in the world is the liquor store. I cannot make fun. In my Top 10, the liquor store is right behind the library for me. (Shallow be my name, ya’ll.) However, for who is he purchasing the alcoholic beverages for his 14 year old’s coming out party?! 

I am super hating Ashley right now. Girl. Shut up. . .Priscilla is going to blow you out of the water! Priscilla is opining on the gravity of this party and what it means in terms of meeting the man boy she may marry. And I’m thinking, “Wow. Her folks did this (or something akin to it); they’ve been together at least 14 years and 9 months; and they still seem pretty much in love. Huh. Go figure.”

Priscilla has gorgeous hair. Why didn’t they leave some of it down? Priscilla enters the party in her Pink, sparkly, extravaganza of a Gypsy dress. All of the “critics” love it! Lots of boys dance with her. Why are they all so short? Gypsyella is not finding her prince. Mwah. . mwah. . mwah. . . Wardrobe change!!! 

BVOL: “After dancing with most of the boys in the room, Priscilla finds a gypsy boy who could be marriage material”. Translation: Priscilla finally dances with a boy who is both taller than her and does not look like a troll. Winner. Winner. Chicken dinner. They are crowned Queen and King of the Ball! Seriously. This is a fairytale, bitches. Especially when Daddy Pat Baby announces them with multiple bleeps. . . annnnd, scene. 

Bit of stereotypical nonsense from me after watching this show: I expected these gypsies to have a “foreign” accent. Instead, they sounded like “good ole Georgia boys and girls”. It was somewhat disconcerting. Probably a lot like how people feel when I bust a British accent on their asses. Seeing as I’m brown, strangers tend to expect a Ricky Ricardo accent from me. Ah. Well. Life is a lot more fun when it’s chock full of big ole surprises! This show was one of ‘em. It wasn’t what I expected. . in a good way. What did you think, dear Gasmi?

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