Auditiongasm Finals 2012: My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding

Recaps

By Flipit | Thursday, May 10, 2012 | 4:14 pm | 22 Comments
Posted in: Auditiongasm, Recaps

Since the site has been going through menopause the past couple of weeks, Auditiongasm has been closed to the public. We normally post the recaps in the forums for a vote, but there are no forums yet!! We can’t let an entire audition process end without a final battle for your vote, though, so here we are with a new plan!!

The final 8 recappers will be in two different blog posts with their own polls. Vote for your fave! You are voting for the writing, not your favorite show! Enjoy, and thanks to everyone who played this year. There is a whole hell of a lot of talent among the Gasmii! 

And now for your first group of Fighters, with My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding! Voting is open til end of day Tuesday the 15th! 

Fighter One

Fighter Two

Fighter Three

Fighter Four 

If you don’t see the poll right below this line, refresh the page!

To get the funniest quotes from TVgasm recaps as they’re posted, follow us on Twitter. You can post your favorite lines right back at us. If you want to play games and socialize, like our Facebook page! We’re also now on Pinterest and Tumblr! Thanks for being a part of the gasm!

Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

22 Comments

  1. 1
    Closet fan
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    This made my night. I was just over on T & T saying that I would love to read a recap on this show. Thank you!

  2. 2
    hot cawfee
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    aaahhhhhhh–am sighing in contentment. Even tho we lack pix, these recapsdid not lack for humor. They are great!!!!! I am having a hard time voting. Am waiting for our winner to be crowned and the drinking game decreed!!!!!!

  3. 3
    StageMom
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 5:49 pm

    I was so disappointed that you didn’t have a BFAGW recap. It’s like Jersey Shore meets Toddlers & Tiaras with a bit of Hillybilly Handfishing thrown in. Can’t wait to to get regular recaps!

  4. 4
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted May 10, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    What I saw for episode 1 was Shyanne and Hope. I didn’t get the 1 with Priscilla yet. So I’m even more excited now!

    I loved reading all the auditions! I feel like I died and went to heaven!

    In case anybody’s confused, it’s not Romanian. Romania’s a country in Europe.

    Romani Gypsies (or Rom or Roma or Romanichal) are an ethnic and culture group that live everywhere. But came from S. Asia a real long time ago.

    What’s fun is how in the USA south people say Romanichal as “romneychile”

    What sometimes gets called English Gypsies are actually Travelers. They started out in Ireland as displaced people when Europe was having their Middle Ages and plagues and things.

    They’re the main 1s that got brought to the USA as “indentured servants”

    But now there’s been BOTH groups there for like 10 of their generations and 4 or 5 of yours.

    And they keep old ways.

    It’s not just that the girls don’t fuck. They don’t kiss either. They can’t even be alone with a boy. Or even just alone. Ever. I mean a girl can’t so much as walk around the block by herself.

    The only time she can even talk to boys is at those parties. Then she can talk to them and dance with them. But her parents are in the room the whole time.

    That’s 1 of the main reasons they’re so against social mixing with gorjas. Because even being at a party where ANOTHER girl’s in a room by herself with a boy will reflect.

    In some groups she can pick her husband herself. But she can’t kiss him, be alone with him or get to know him till after they’re married. And there’s no divorce.

    There’s some marriage between Rom and Travelers but almost no marrying ANY flavor of gorjas.

    If anybody does they’re out and so are their children and grandchildren on down.

    You might as well not even have the blood.

    (The reason for all the Pats in that episode is because in Traveler communities it’s common to have just a few sets of names. Or even 1 for men and 1 for women. So all the men would be Pat Sherlock . And all the women are Bridget Sherlock. They’ll have nicknames but they’re just for them to use)

  5. 5
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 5:35 am

    Hear, Hear kthxy!!!! Well ‘splained. I wish #4 hadn’t been so judgmental because, although methinks they do protest just a tad too much about all that purity, I think that there might have been too much cynacism and too little playful snark. It is a fascinating sub-culture that kthxy and I share learning more about.

    After centuries (at least, and probably millenia) of secrecy, the Rom are finally letting the rest of the world catch a glimpse of them. They are fascinating, being noted for their music primarily, but also for fortune-telling and also (right or wrong) for grifting.

  6. 6
    Closet Fan
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 6:40 am

    Loved the recaps, it was hard to decide. Can’t wait for the next episode. I have watched the other show since it started. Same concept, all tarted up with no where to go. I dont understand the thinking and would love to have the inside scoop. Even though they are pure/clean they dress like hookers. Why is that okay?

  7. 7
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 8:23 am

    My major complaint with MBFAGW is that we become acquainted with the principal characters and then when the epi is over they are gone and we are left to wonder what happened to them.

    I confess that I became rather attached to poor doomed little Priscilla and I wonder if, as it seems in the Gypsy culture, two months later Sondra’s sweatshoppe was busy trying to meet the deadline for Prisc’s wedding gown.

    The fiancee-to-be might have virgin lips, but her cheek got quite the workout from her suiter.

  8. 8
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    @snowshoecat Thanks! I didn’t mean for it to be so long though! This 1′s shorter.

    The grifting stuff and being nomads came from all the genocides against them from the 1st time Rom people went up to Europe. Then when Travelers started they took up a lot of the same ways. Because people wouldn’t let them work or live anywhere either.

    They both count blood through the mother. Like Jewish people and a big chunk of Kerala. Jews had some of the same problems in Europe but finally they started letting them work in some jobs and live someplace.

    But even today if you’ve seen forums in Europe Gypsies are the only people it’s allowed to call for genocide of. Just about anywhere (USA included) if they get a job or buy something at a gorja business they won’t say they’re a Gypsy. Because of security reasons that after so long turned into ways. But are also still security reasons.

    If you remember those Italian heritage societies when Jersey Shore 1st started up. That’s about how popular the MBFGW shows are with Rom and Travelers.

  9. 9
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    Kthxy, when your opportunities are limited you use your brain to expand your opportunities– hence the grifting. If you go to the Holocaust Museum in D.C. You will be as horrified as I was at the number of Gypsys were exterminated. Horrible, horrible. I had no idea the practise was still in effect.

    I’m reading a book written by a noted philologist who interviewed Gypsies throughout Europe in the 19th century. He emphasized their love of and talent for music.

  10. 10
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    @snowshoecat OMG I found out some of the non gypsies in Priscilla and Pat Baby’s town are so mad now!

    Because gypsy boys said they had sex with non gypsy Douglasville girls. So now the girls are ruined and their families and town are shamed!

    It looks like there’s been a big fuss going on since TLC was there. With people also mad because they wanted to get Pat Baby in trouble. But found out he’s been actually paving stuff. And not just painting it black.

    On the positive side I don’t think he’s a child molester. I think he’s putting on a show. But too clueless to know how it sounds. Plus too wasted to care.

    This is from Pat Baby’s Merchant Circle blog

    COME TO MY BIG FAT GYPSY HOLLOWEEN PARTY BEING FIMED BY TLC ON OCT 28 8 PM AT THE ROSE COTTAGE EVENT CENTER IN KENNISAW GA. WE ARE PRPOUD GYPSYS WE ARE NOT AFRAID OF OUR HERTIAGE OR ASCARED OF LWAS. BECAUSE WE DO HONEST WORK AND PAY TAX AND GET CONTRACTOR LICENSES..WE ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS THATS WHY PEOPLE ARE SO JELOUS!!!! ME AND MY WOMAN LOUAN ARE HAVING THE BEST TV PARTY EVER I SPENTS HUNDRED THAOUSND ON IT AND I CAN SPEND MORE BECAUSE I PAY MY TAX..!!!!

    (I put non gypsy instead of gorja because some non gypsies were thinking it means Georgia the state. Not that anybody on here would. Just the show drama makes it confusing)

  11. 11
    Flipit Flipit
    Posted May 11, 2012 at 9:56 pm

    Why does all the good shit go down in gorja?

  12. 12
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 4:41 am

    Just when the lights go down in Gorja, Flip.

    Ooooh thanks for finding that, kthxy! Must read after I wake up a bit and have some coffee. Then I’ll wander over to T&T & see what’s going on over there.

    No, never thought Pat Baby is a child molester. He and His woman Louan (seems like gypsy men always refer to their women as property) seem to be pretty nice. He is a piece of work, though.

    The party that has the Gorjas in a twist was the party at the girl’s house before the Halloween bash. That’s when the gorjas were dancing with the guys and the voice-over talked about the Gypsy boys using them for practice. I am surprised that the Halloween party was advertised openly. What if Pris had met a *gasp* Gorja who looked good, smelled good, and didn’t say anything disrespectful to her all evening?

    Yeah, too bad Pat Baby has been doing legitimate work and paying taxes. What kind of Gypsy is he anyway?

  13. 13
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 12, 2012 at 4:47 am

    Hey kthxy! They’re in an apartment now! A high rise on the 13 th floor!

  14. 14
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 11:35 am

    LOL I saw that @snowshoecat! Supposedly that’s some more drama. From people giving them more work. Instead of revenging the ruin of non gypsy Douglasville girls and shame brought down on the town.

    (I don’t know what’s scarier. Pat Baby up in a high rise that’s got windows. Or Pat Baby operating machinery)

    The positive side is now even the most diversity disadvantaged people can learn all the secret ways of people that sign up for trashy reality shows!

    Just like on Shahs of Sunset and RHNJ!

    I want those BOOTS!

  15. 15
    StageMom
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 6:29 pm

    I’m looking at the sparkly pink outfit and the boots thinking that would be the cutest outfit of choice…. Pat Baby would make a great pageant dad lol. I didn’t expect to like him so much but you can see that he adores his family. I couldn’t decide if it was creepy or sincere but I am leaning towards sincere.

  16. 16
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 13, 2012 at 6:58 pm

    Stagey, I think he is sincere. I’m turning it on now. YY.

  17. 17
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted May 14, 2012 at 10:07 am

    @ Snowshoecat…now I gotcha. I have some catching up to do here!

  18. 18
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 14, 2012 at 10:31 am

    And you thought I had just scored the good stuff and wasn’t sharing!

  19. 19
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted May 14, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    LMAO!

  20. 20
    Flipit Flipit
    Posted May 15, 2012 at 11:32 pm

    This was an AMAZING round. Congrats to all the fighters for being so damn funny, but especially to FIGHTER THREE for taking the win!! Nice work!! We’ll announce your name when you take on your show! Congrats and thanks so much for voting everyone!!

  21. 21
    Closet Fan
    Posted May 17, 2012 at 9:43 pm

    Flipit I am newer to the site. Is this the way that you typically assign who recaps a particular show? I loved having the chance to vote. When will you announce the winner? Will someone recap this past episode?

  22. 22
    Flipit Flipit
    Posted May 17, 2012 at 11:15 pm

    Hey Closet Fan! Welcome to the gasm! Usually, we let the recappers vote on round one. Round two goes to an audience vote in the forums, and then the top scores get another audience vote in the finals. This time was a little different because we don’t have our forums up and running yet! I like the way it turned out this time, though! As far as how shows are assigned, I just try to match personalities with stuff that needs mocking!
    The winner of this recap will actually be taking over this particular show, and I’ll announce her name when her first recap pops up. xo

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