Auditiongasm: Sin City Rules: Fighter Two

**Welcome to our end of year Auditiongasm!! We need to enter 2013 with a hilarious new writer and as usual, our staffing is up to you!! Find all of the entries and the voting booth here. 

Scooby Dooby Don’t

Jen meets up with Amy for some coffee. Amy has little to no experience with whipped cream judging from her reaction to the cafe mocha she is served. Production whispers in Jen’s ear to ask Amy about her dad. Amy gets very emotional while explaining he was a hit man and wound up dead after “messing up” a federal case when Amy was 3. I get she had a rough childhood but she still strikes me as overly dramatic. Plus she reminds me of someone I can’t stand. This is going to be rough.

A boxer, Sugar (not Ray Leonard) Shane stops by Lana’s so their monkeys can play. He must be new/good at boxing because he’s got the prettiest face. I wonder if he wanted a chimpanzee but went with a smaller breed as to avoid having it ripped off. I don’t find Not Ray Leonard attractive (or unattractive for that matter), he just doesn’t look like he’s been punched in the face. Maybe he met Lana in their plastic surgeon’s waiting room.

Alicia and Lori meet up at Jen’s because production held a carrot (bottle of champagne) on a string in front of them the whole way. Jens husband Marco is Italian and this blows their minds, “ZOMG! He says ciao!” These women are supposed to be powerful, Vegas elite but they meet someone with an accent and can’t keep their ish together?  Calm down ladies.

They discuss the rift between Alicia and Lana. Lana believes Alicia sleeps around with married men whilst being married herself. Alicia is “positive” Lana is sleeping with her trainer. Even if all of this is true, which I doubt, who cares? Again, the show claims to follow the lives of Vegas elite, all I see is the same arguments high school girls have recycled, typed up and handed to 40 something’s to read. Lori (production) wants things between the girls to resemble Lana’s forehead so she plans to have a cocktail party to smooth things over.

Amy’s playing office and describes her job to us. Is she drunk? Knowing a finance guy and a lawyer does not a yob make. I feel like she’s an admin assistant or something. Whatever this place is, the dress code is pretty lax. Amy is a cross between Lindsey and Dina Lohan. She’s Dindsey Lohan.

Her mom shows up to chitchat and Amy tells her “that s**t downstairs is happening again.” Oh honey, remember the dr said you would have flare ups now and then? Oh the basement is haunted…

 Production throws something leopard print and shiny down the stairs so these two head on down. Watching Amy navigate the narrow steps in her high heels and tiny zebra print dress was priceless. This place used to be the sheriffs office and Amy’s dad, Tom, spent some time in the basement/jail there years prior. The mother daughter team decides to get a medium so they can figure out what happened here.  Why was this building ever a Sherriff’s office?  It looks like a small house.