Jay Leno (ugh) and Jimmy Fallon (yay) come onstage to present Best TV Series- Comedy. I’m not even going to acknowledge how stupid their banter is. The winner is… Girls! Lena Dunham is super excited again! She promised her mom she would thank Chad Lowe, and she does. You know, on a personal note, I know this is a show that most people either really love or really hate. And I am apparently in a major minority, because I watched the first three or four episodes, and it just wasn’t that compelling for me. But I want to be friends with Lena Dunham. She’s funny, and seems really sweet.
Jennifer Garner does a really cute wifely duty by thanking people Ben Affleck forgot in his speech. She presents Best Actor – Comedy or Musical. And the winner is… Hugh Jackman! How sweet – his costars give him a standing O. Poor thing is just getting over the flu. He thanks his wife for always being right. That’s awesome. Because she probably is.
Dustin Hoffman presents the award for Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical. And the winner is… Les Miserables! Anne Hathaway jumps around the stage like an excited bunny, and honestly, I need space from her right now.
Tina and Amy introduce the next presenter, who is so good-looking, he makes young George Clooney look like garbage: middle-aged George Clooney! He presents Best Actress in a Motion Picture- Drama. And the winner is… Jessica Chastain! I’ll always remember her as the neighbor girl with the possibly-abusive boyfriend on Veronica Mars. Clooney also presents, in lieu of Meryl, Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama. And the winner is… Daniel Day-Lewis! He’s the first winner to finally make a really good joke in his acceptance, saying that if you thought Bill Clinton coming on stage was impressive, Her Majesty the Queen is going to parachute in to make a last-minute pitch for Skyfall!
Julia Roberts presents Best Motion Picture – Drama. And the winner is… Argo! Wow! You can tell Ben Affleck is genuinely touched. Plus we get a bonus Clooney sighting because he was a producer.
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler say goodnight – they’re going home with Jodie Foster!
Whew! That was a long night Gasmi, but I’m so happy to have spent it working for you! Final thoughts: did the HFPA cheap out on the liquor this year? No one was drunk; well, except for Tarantino, anyway. This year, the fashion was better than usual and the hosts were great, but the rest of the ceremony was BORING. Let me know what you thought of it in the comments!
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